Setting The Stage For Love & Laughter With Comedian Laurie Hurd Ferreira

In honor of Valentine's Day and shot at Lowe's four year anniversary. We have exciting news and an exciting guest. Lori heard Ferrera today we'll hear about her journey from businesswoman to standup comedian and how she injected new life into the local performing arts scene. She'll share how she overcame heartbreaking divorce, made some different choices and her whole world changed in the most dramatic way. I'll also be sharing news about a new live event promising an evening of laughter libations and a shot at finding the one. I'm Carrie Brett and shot at Love starts now It is my honor to welcome. Lori Heard for . Hi Lori .

Hello Carrie . How are you today?

Great. This is so great. Thanks so much for being here. Tell the listeners now, I've known you since I was a little girl, but I want my listeners to get to know you. Tell them a little bit about your story and how the turning point in your life came from overcoming major challenges. First

Of all, thank you for having me on today. I am so excited about this. After we left the Catholic School days, I started modeling at a young age and in Boston and loved it. Really wanted to get into acting and it just didn't work out at the time. I went back to college, I met my boyfriend and he then became my husband. We graduated together. I went into the world of business, so I've always been in sales. We had three great kids. Life just kind of got difficult and we both kind of liked to party and we drifted apart. Unfortunately, we divorced and it was difficult. There was a lot of pressure. Being a single mom, I definitely started drinking too much. Took me away from doing what I was supposed to be doing. I was a good mom, you know, I was there. My kids remember a lot of fun times and they would go back and forth with their dad and me and we certainly loved them, but I felt like it was my time, you know, I wanted to get out and and party as much as possible when I didn't have the kids. And it really took a hold of me and I was about to lose everything. I had a couple of good friends. They just said, it's time to change. I went to a rehab. I left my kids for 30 days and it was tough. They were young, they were like eight, 10, and I think 14. But I have some amazing friends and family that stepped in and helped out. And the best thing I did, because I've been sober now seven years, I'll tell you , my life has changed and those kids just would've been three different kids if I hadn't done what I did. It's

A powerful story and that took a lot to go away for 30 days.

Yeah.

But it got to that point.

I was doing things like drop off at gymnastics, go have a quick drink with a friend, pick up a gymnastics and have a drink when I got home and, and then like I just couldn't do homework. My kids were starting to notice that it was affecting my day to day . I just couldn't do that to them. The divorce was tough enough on them. It was time.

It's amazing how you could make these changes. It was really one change, right. And I think when you go through a bad divorce and you're in that despair, you do become hopeless.

I needed to find hope. I was really, really down. I love to party, go out and I'd laugh and I'd have fun. And I wasn't a bad drunk. I just liked my wine. I kind of blew up like a tick . I got heavy and I didn't feel good about myself and, and that's when, you know, the whole kind of change came. It really did change everything. How

Has sobriety been? Just this major gift.

Most people have heard something about it and it's not what I thought it was. It's like you don't know till you're there. The program that I'm in is just amazing. People are amazing and I've, I was always Catholic, right? But I , I'm more spiritual now and that has helped me so much. You'd pray to God and ask 'em , I promise I'll never drink again if you get me home. You know? Okay. And , but now it's just like, I thank God every night for the life that I have and my kids are so proud of me and that is to me the best gift that sobriety has given to me. You've

Mentioned to me before that if you could get sober, anyone can, but you're the one who showed up and did the work. You're the one who showed up and made other choices. What have you learned about yourself by choosing this

Path? If I can do it, you can too. There's a lot to that. You first have to want it. Not everybody wants sobriety. They enjoy their drinking. They can't imagine not giving up their drink. You know, what am I gonna do on St . Patrick's Day? What am I gonna do? And I learned one day at a time. It sounds cliche, but when you really break it down, sometimes it's one hour at a time. So

Basically you've made other choices. You made the choice of sobriety, but you did the work. So many people, they can't imagine, I like hearing about this because with that change, give up something. But you get so much,

So much, you give up one thing and you get so much in return just to be actually present in other people's lives. I've been a better friend, a better mother, a better daughter. I was there when my dad was dying, you know, my brother died of this disease. I was there for my mother. He didn't get it. I did. It's about 30% of people really can stay sober. It's really given me a better life. It's opened my eyes to so many things and given me the confidence and the clarity to do things like show up today on time, tell you I'm gonna be 15 minutes late, you know, but come and and be here and excited and give my best and then be grateful of this gift that I've been given.

You have to give yourself credit because this number is new to me that only 30% of people can do that. That doesn't seem like a very big number.

You have to want it. You can't make somebody get sober. It's like you can't make someone go to the gym and lose 20 pounds. Like they have to do the work. It's the same premise. I have to go to my meetings. I have to get my medicine. Okay, I have to talk about this to other people. I have to share it with other people. Help other people. You know, you can't keep this gift unless you give it away. If I get away from this and not stay in the moment and go to my meetings and get on my knees and thank God for what I have and ask for another day of sobriety and do the work, I could lose it. I'm at risk of losing it.

What would your advice be for people who know they have to make a change in their life, but they're afraid.

Fear is really behind everything. And I didn't know that. I learned it. We don't do things because of fear. A baby doesn't take his first steps because they're afraid. They're afraid they're gonna fall. And it's exactly what it's like in adulthood or even in addiction. We are afraid to make a change because we might not be able to do it. And , and our egos are involved too. What if we fail ? What if I tell people that I'm gonna stop drinking and then I fail and I go right back to the bottle? So what? This is your journey. You deserve it. You deserve to be sober, but you have got to put the work in. You have to want it. And it's a daily thing. Just like going the gym. You're not gonna get muscles if you don't lift the weights. Right . You just don't.

The accountability piece is interesting to me.

Yes, it's big.

Is that the premise of the work that you do?

Yes. You've gotta show up. You have to show up for your group for other people and share, share your story. And you know, I'll tell you, my kids are watching. I'm their mother. They're watching what I do. And I will tell you, as difficult as children are and motherhood, my three kids independently have come to me and said, mom , I'm so proud of you. And because of what you have done, you have inspired me. I'm the person I am today because of watching you struggle and pick yourself up and make something of yourself and to stay sober. To me it's a gift. I don't take it for granted by any means because I do work at it, but I just, it's me. It's who I am now. It's great.

I've been seven years. You hear this from a lot of people. I have friends who are been sober 25, 30 years and they, they said Covid was really hard,

Very hard. I remember the day and I thought to myself, what are we gonna do? We wanted it. We wanted to keep our sobriety and nothing was gonna take it away. Even a pandemic. We all met at a location about six or seven of us with our blankets. And we said, this is what we're gonna do. We're gonna continue to get together outside and meet and share our stories with other people. Every single night for three years, from six 30 to seven 30, that meeting was on. We had people come from Boston and people still talk about it. They say, thank God for that. That's what we do. We figure it out. There's no excuse like, oh, my mom died. That's why I drank. No, you know what that means? You don't wanna stay sober and you're not working at it.

God helps those who help themselves. Right. My mom always says that. So you talk about fear. Fear is a big thing. It's definitely something that will hold you back in dating, hold you back in trying something new. I wanna talk about your comedy because this is putting yourself out there in the biggest way possible with a microphone in front of a crowd doing something you never imagined doing.

Again, another gift I've been given with sobriety. I was at a point in my life where I was really down. I'd gone through a breakup with someone that was important to me in my life, you know, I said, well, I can either cry about it or I'm gonna do something big. And all of a sudden I got an email about this comedy class and it said, you know, have you ever wanted to do this? And I'm said to myself, no. But yes, I come from a family where we're always joking around and so many people tell me I'm funny. And I'm like, I put myself out there and I did this class and wow, it was amazing. Then got up on stage and I just started talking about my life and people were laughing. And when we had to do our first big show, you know, it was like our graduation. I called the teacher and I just said, I'm not coming. He was like, what do you mean you're not coming? And I said, I can't, I , this isn't good. I I don't feel like I'm funny. I'm not good. And he said, please come. He said, Lori , you are funny. You can do this. I said, oh , okay. The support I have with friends is just, I have to say, I could never have done this alone. You can't. The friends I have are really second to none. And so a bunch of them showed up unbeknownst to me. I did not know they were there. And I got up on stage and I see them and I said, oh no, you know? And I just, wow. I said, oh my God, I love this. And they laughed and they clap . And then I just kept doing it and I, I fell in love. I love it. I, I feel like I've found my happy place, you know? It's my

Eye, right? And it's your purpose.

People say they're grateful that I have this and, and have opened up venues that they can go to and laugh and that just makes me feel so good, you know? 'cause I've always loved to laugh.

Well, I think when you are in the depths of despair and you're looking to find love, it's depressing.

I think a lot of people too think, you know, back to combining it with sobriety. They think sobriety is like a death sentence that I'm gonna not have fun. I'm seven , eight years ago. Am I still gonna be funny? And I guess I know now, you know, I am. I , I think I'm even funnier because I can remember and I'm not slurring my words when I'm not hurting people. I'm not being too sarcastic. So

How great would it be to find the love of your life, the man of your dreams. Do you believe online dating would work if you had the right tools to be successful? Well, I have exciting news. I've created your best shot at Love Masterclass. I cannot wait to share with you what's worked for me in my life and for many of my clients that have helped over the years. If you enroll in this class, you have a winning mindset and believe in getting help before you start something new. If you're ready to see changes in your dating life and wanna take action, check out my free webinar@shotatlove.co. If you decide you're going to choose another path that you're worth it and you're willing to enroll in the masterclass, you can also register@shotatlove.co. I designed this masterclass specifically for you to be successful. Please know that everything you're going to learn in these nine modules and six coaching calls has been carefully curated for you, so you can gain the success you truly want. I will be there for you the whole time. In the meantime, I wish you all the success and I can't wait to hear about your story of Finding Love. I'm Carrie Brett and I will be your mentor and friend through this incredible journey. What would you tell somebody who wanted to start something new, put themselves out on a dating app, need to face their fears? You talked about when you were doing comedy in that class. I'm not , funny enough, I'm not good enough. That's the storyline that people tell themselves when they're dating, but it's not true. That's fear.

It absolutely is. And I even look back on our relationship and I remember the first photo shoot you did in my kids and then I had my third and I , I didn't do it 'cause I said, okay , I can. I'm too heavy. That was 19 years ago. But what I've learned, I'm 53 now and I have so much still left in me. It's not too late, it's never too late. I watch all these powerful women, you know, yourself included, who are driven and it's a lot of work. Things don't just happen. There's nobody I have ever met who's successful, who it's been given to them on a silver platter. It just doesn't happen. It

Doesn't happen. But little by little you can turn that plane around or that train around just inch by inch. Sometimes it takes that. But that repetition and doing these shows and getting up and doing the standup and selling out, that's the practice, that's the showing up .

You gotta take a chance. You know, I was almost 50 when I decided to do that, to put yourself up there in front of people. I never in a million years thought I would do it. Like I love comedy and I love so many comedians that I follow but never thought I could

Do it. They say it's the hardest thing.

Well, it's so funny. I don't think of it that way . I get up and I feel like, oh my God, the mic and it , it's like putting on for a skater. You put you skates on and then they go. And it's a platform for me to say things that we're all going through. Kids are , I have my mom who lives with me, I talk a lot about her and my comedy. People can relate, you know , people relate to when you're struggling or with family and kids and if you have fear, just what if this happens? And I say to myself, what if it does? Or what if it doesn't? So what, I took the step I tried. I'm more fearful of not doing something for the rest of my life.

You become in the second act of life when you get divorced and you get to be a certain age. If not now, when ?

Exactly.

So are we going to operate with both hands tied behind our back and just holding ourselves back forever? Or are we gonna make a change and try something new? What have you seen by you changing the scene, the club scene on the South Shore, that people really need laughter or really need to get out? What have you seen?

There's a lot of new life coming into these small towns in the South Shore. People work in the city and they want something fun in the weekend or now everybody's working at home and they wanna get out. Some people, their kids are getting older or they're off to college and they don't wanna go all the way to Boston. So what do we do? And there's been a lot of different artists who are just collaborating and I've been just so fortunate to meet a few of them, some of the bands and some of the comedians. And we've gotten together and said, you know, what can we do? Let's get this going. There's a venue at the Red Lion Inn, the Cave. I started there, I opened for one of the bands and that's where that whole venue took off for me. And now every Thursday night they have music or comedy. And I'll tell you , I was there last week and I couldn't believe it. It was a bunch of people in their forties and fifties and everyone was dancing and having a great time. And it was wonderful. And and you know, people are like, when's their next show? We want some comedy. And who doesn't love to laugh?

Comedy and music. These things are a great unifier for people who feel alone.

Absolutely. We can share our stories and I can make people laugh, people with these creative minds. It's just endless what things that we can think of to do. I'm working with a friend right now, he's got a huge pool host gonna build me a stage. We're gonna have a mock show and we're gonna film it and then his band's gonna play.

That's amazing. It

Is . It's fun and, and people are excited and I think it's gonna be great.

One of the things that you told me that you saw at these different events on Thursday nights , so let's just say at the cave, they're all single.

There's a lot of single people carry and they all want a place to go. And they're sick of the online stuff because they feel like, I felt like I was being played. If you wanna date show up, show me you wanna date. Just like what we talked about, you have to show up if you want something to happen and something to change, which

Leads us to this new collaboration that we are going to bring shot at Love to Life with a new shot at Love Live event that's going to promise an evening of laughter and connections, networking, comedy. Oh , how do you think this is gonna be received?

Carrie , I'm so excited. We've been talking about this and we're doing it. Going back to just do it. Get rid of the fear. Let's just do it. And I think it's gonna be amazing because singles that are a little older, they wanna get out. They want a place to go to meet people. I am one of my friends, they're looking for the next love of their life. It's really hard to do behind a screen because people aren't always truthful. Show up, put your best outfit on your best face. And you know what? Maybe you'll meet that next someone special. So give it a shot.

We're putting all these amazing people in our community together at one of the nicest restaurants, the wine room. There's plenty to do. We're gonna have comedy to start the night off. We're gonna force people to meet people because people often tell me that they go out, but they don't know who's single and who's not. Well, everyone's coming to this event who's gonna be single? Well

That's the thing. And I'll tell you , I go out and I don't have the courage to just walk up to someone at a restaurant or a bar and say, Hey, how you doing? Because again, I'm afraid I'm gonna get shot down, right? So I think this venue that we're putting together is gonna loosen people up, get them here. And people who actually wanna be like, like kind . And you know, we talked about it too. What are you looking for? Everyone's really looking for something different. And I think sometimes we stereotype men or women, we think all men our age are looking for a certain thing and all women are looking for a certain thing. And that's really not the truth. So I think that we could start the night off asking people what they're looking for. Maybe that's special. Someone is in the crowd.

It's a great way to push people out of their comfort zone. I think it's gonna be a real hit. I know that people are looking for a live single event.

I just can't do another online dating where the minute you wanna stop chatting and say, Hey, let's meet their fear comes in or they're , oh , um, I'm busy. You know? So I think this event at uh , Tosca is gonna be great. You know, people love the restaurant, they know where it is. It's a classy place. It's gonna be fun, lively. We have a lot of surprises in store and you never know who's gonna be there. And I just think people are gonna love it and they're gonna want more.

I think they're gonna want more too. And they're gonna be surprised how many people they met and how it's packed and everyone's showing up with the same agenda. And the way I look at it too, I've had people that we've told who are married, who wanna come for the networking. I'm like, well, we're not , we're trying to limit to singles, but I get it. People really want these opportunities to network and be out and have fun and laugh and put down your phones.

Come in, put your phone down. Don't be texting somebody. You can take pictures later. We'll help you out with that. But just enjoy yourself. Show us who you really are. Show us what you really want, and put the fear aside and just be ready for love.

It's like one of these things. Go for a couple hours, see what happens. You won't know unless you try.

Exactly. You won't. You won't know unless you try and try one thing. And you know what, Carrie , maybe your whole life will change.

Right? I see it every day with finding love. It's just that consistency. If you show up, you'll have results. It's so true.

And Carrie , you know, it would be nice. I I am really looking for that next love of my life and I don't know , maybe you'll help me find them that night.

That would be amazing

<laugh> . It will be fun. And I think at least people will get to see the real me.

I think it's amazing. I think it's a needed thing on the South Shore.

Oh definitely.

And start in a small pond and you'll be surprised. And like you said, I always say if you build it, they will come and we are building it and we are putting ourselves out there and we're gonna do our best to help people find love. And it's gonna be really fun.

I can't wait, Carrie , it's gonna be amazing and I'm so, so excited to be doing it with you.

I'm so excited too. Thank you so much for your time today. You are so inspiring. Your story's amazing and I love what you said where it's just all you had to do was change one thing and you got so many things.

That's right.

And I think you had a lot to say about fear. Choose hope. I am ready to watch you take stage and love's in the air and please come to Shot At Love Live. It's gonna be amazing. So Lori , where can people find out more about you and find out more about your comedy?

I do have a YouTube. There's really not a lot on it yet because I'm really kinda working on changing the page and had a great headshot done by you. So I'm gonna add that to things. But I do have Lori Ferrera comedy stay tuned. I will be adding a lot more to that where I'll have dates of where my next shows are gonna be for anybody who wants to attend and hopefully have a great night of laughter.

Everybody can use a laugh, so that's gonna be amazing <laugh> . So thanks so much for being here today. It was great.

Thanks Carrie .

And for now, this week shot at Love Dating Tips that are inspired by our guests , Lori Herd Ferreira number one, go for it and put yourself out there. Check out a speed dating event, live music or a comedy show, or join our shot at Love Live event on March 7th at Toska and Hingham. You never know who you'll meet. Number two, all you need to do is make one change and your whole world can change for the better. Number three, success doesn't just happen or served up to you on a silver platter. You've gotta show up and do the work to have different results. I hope you found some of my tips helpful this week. This is which Shot at Love is here for, to help you find love, keep up the commitment to yourself and commit to helping someone else by sharing this podcast. Stay safe and stay tuned for more episodes. And if you like this show, please subscribe and leave a five star review. I'm Carrie Brett , and we'll see you next time.