Single And Ready To Mingle

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Carrie Booth. First motivational podcast Around all my dating this show is people who temporarily feel lost, feel completely disempowered, struggling or maybe breathing heavily into a brown paper bag. And we've all been there. No one willingly signs up for this. No one sits down and thinks of themselves. Which side do today? Should I join the Rotary Club? No, Actually, I think I'm going to join the Lonely Hearts Club. That's the move. At one point or another, in our lifetime, we will all lose our way. Can't see the force from the trees. This podcast isn't the story of Cinderella or the tale of two cities. This is where Florence Nightingale meets Florence Henderson meets Florence the Machine. So basically, we're all a bunch of Florence is. But we are all the lady with the lamp looking to find our way, and that's okay. I'm here to tell you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm here to shine a spotlight on the ones who need it the most. I have no problem talking about the elephant in the room. I hear things like tinder has a bad reputation. It's scary Isn't it a hookup site? There is so much fear around online. Dating in this show is designed to dismantle those fears. Encourage you to forget about your fears. Just focus on moving forward, I said from the very beginning, when I first started to create this content that the goal of the podcast was to create a support system for people who were hurting. Endured one too many setbacks. And I'm not talking bumps in the road. I'm talking about life altering setbacks. I see the world is hurting. Desperation is at an all time high. People are feeling more alone than ever. I know how to overcomes life. Major setbacks. I'm not saying I'm the strongest person in the world. Ah, strong person who actually held their value wouldn't have made all the mistakes I did. I even went to bed crying this week after a hard day. But if I've learned one thing when you want to stay in bed crying, then you force your broken ass into the shower and pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get back on that horse. Get back up. So I pulled myself out of bed to tape this episode for you today on shot at love, I talk about what's working and what's not helping us. As we navigate the crazy world of online dating, I talk about the struggles, the bad dates, the broken hearts and where we're going, laughing along the way instead of crying our way through it. If heartbreak and starting over was a sport, I would have a gold medal. I went from the frying pan into the fire, but somehow I miraculously pulled myself up. There are strategies in systems in place, how to survive and thrive in online dating. I'm not on Lee going to show you how to stay strong, but I will show you how to be selective and how to say no to science projects. Because in the end, it's all about our severe INTs showing up for yourself. And that's a big one. I had to learn that in a hard way. Online dating is manageable, something you can control. If you're feeling hopeless, then you come to the right place. I never want people to feel as hopeless as I once did in this episode. We're gonna talk about getting mentally strong despite the current situation or everything that's happening around us. If you haven't listened to episode number 13 Manifesting Love, I interview the Queen and manifestation Gen. Maser. The important thing Jenna's taught me is that manifestation happens in the present. At this very moment. None of us know what's gonna happen with this pandemic. We don't know what the future will hold for us. I'm not psychic, but I can tell you when we get through this pandemic at the end of this, no one is going to be busier than divorce lawyers or online dating APS. I'm trying to prepare you now before the world of online dating explodes and it will. The numbers are already indicating that this will be the case. I mean, I don't think anyone is ever ready to join Bumble or tender or any other dating sites, for that matter. I've had people ask me, Is Cove in 19 truth serum? Are most people honest now or people feeling like the end of days? Is the pandemic making people feel more vulnerable? I'm like, not really, I think if you were me 43 with a 13 year old joining Tender the world pretty much already came to an end, but I couldn't help. But wonder is the pandemic that pushed you need to get after it. I know this pandemic has taught us to appreciate. Each moment the sun is shining, people have become more appreciative of their friends, their family, teachers, doctors, nurses or the little things like toilet paper. We've learned to adapt and make the best of the situation. Once you've fully immersed herself into online dating, really figure it out. You learn to adapt to the culture as well, and you learn to adjust. There are good days and bad days, and some days you get ghosted, lied to blown off or even dumped. But I'm not Good day. When Stella gets her groove back and there'll be many good days, I feel that burn move under my feet or great days when you find the love of your life. Is it worth the ups and downs? Absolutely. I don't know what I would have done without my boyfriend during this national crisis. I love Natalie Lue so much. Natalie is the author of my favorite book, Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl Natalie recently posted on her Instagram. We don't need to wait for burnout or catastrophe to finally give ourselves permission to listen and take care of ourselves. So if it took a major occurrence like a pandemic to realize, you know what, I'm tired of being alone. Or maybe this pandemic made you realize it might be time to take action. And that's fine. I don't care how you get here. The point is, you're here, you're listening and you're ready. And that's the first stop decision making that decision to shift and change course good for you. I'm so proud of you. It's not easy, and I promise I will encourage you every step of the way. Now you're done putting baby in the corner. Are you ready to have the time of your life? Are you ready to swan dive into Ryan Gosling's arms? Have him left you over his head while playing the dirty dancing soundtrack? You guys, the world is ready for you. The world of online dating is ready. Do you believe that? I believe that I know it to be true. Just like baby should never be put in the corner. Think, feel the dreams. If you build it, they will come. That's how I built my photography business. I rented a studio and I put a sign on the door. But I didn't sit in my shop waiting for clients to come walking in the door. I got busy and got creative, and I went out into the world to find those clients. I think in this podcast. Someday someone will come calling for me someone of really influence someone who sees the value in all the motivational material I've created around online dating. And when they do come calling, I won't just have a few episodes, all of seasons worth of content that help others. And let me tell you, I'll be ready when that call comes when you join online dating. You're putting herself out there in a big way, waiting for that big break. But if you don't put yourself out there, then guess what nothing will happen. Take the book, for example. Skinny Bitch. In 3 2002 friends decided that they wanted to make vegan lifestyle more mainstream, so they wrote a book for eight long months. No one bought the book. Then one day, Victoria Beckham was photographed holding a book in a trendy L. A store. Talk about a picture perfect scenario here is this ultra skinny Beckham looking angry? I would be angry, too, if I was constantly haunted by the paparazzi. Anyway, there sporty spice standing there looking like a skinny bitch holding the book, Skinny bitch. And that's all it took for the book to go viral. When I was on tender, I was the book on the shelf, waiting to be picked up some days, many days I ran out of patience. I wasn't bitchy, but I was highly annoyed that it was taking so long. And I certainly wasn't ultra skinny, but I was published and on the shelf. It took 10 maybe 11 months for me to meet my boyfriend almost a year of swiping and dating. But the point was, I was out there. I was ready. Hopefully, my book. It'll be over. Who calls? I like to think big. I think about Sara Blakely. She was selling fax machines door to door. Sure, she was getting in front of people developing her sale skills, but it wasn't working for her. She believed she could develop a product on a huge level until one day she took a pair of pantyhose cut off the legs, and that was banks. But Sarah didn't stop there. She center specs to Oprah. Just maybe when I get my book published on online dating, I'll make Oprah's book lists. It's not as far fetched as you think. Oprah loves survivors because she's a survivor herself. The point is, if I don't put it out there, take a shot or believe I can manifest big dreams, then I'm limiting myself, my potential and all the opportunities that are out there in this big, abundant world. There are lots of famous people on these dating sites. Famous people deserve love, too. I went on a date with the Patriots player who played in two Super Bowls. Yes, I swiped right on him on tinder. So 1997. I went to the super Well. I was in New Orleans planning on going to the Super Bowl with my fiancee at the time, but we were just starting out and we didn't have a lot of money. But we did score these tickets for the Super Bowl, and right before the game, the tickets were selling for so much money, I convinced my ex husband to sell the tickets, and we made, you know, like $2000 it was great because then it justified the trip. Did I ever think two decades later I would be on a tinder date with one of the football players who played in that Super Bowl? No. But that's the magic of life. That's the twists and turns that happen when you're open to new possibilities. Yeah, I didn't work out, but it was a great time to pass the time and start to get over my axe. So the point is, be ready. The world is waiting for you. What are you doing to get ready? What are you doing for when that moment comes calling and it will? Are you ready when we come back? We're going to talk about how to mentally prepare an action steps we can take in this present moment to get ready to online date. But for now, this week's tender tips Number one, the perception that tender or any of these dating sites are hookup site dangerous or a loser? Roller creeps works to your advantage. If you let go of your fears, you're able to take your share of the market. I believe the majority of the world is fundamentally good, and statistics have proven that 70% of people dating online one something serious. Number two. Don't limit yourself to just one dating site. Cast the widest net. Remember, your Onley limit is you. Number three. Never let your past dictate your future. It's never too late to become stronger and a new, improved version of you and we're back. What are some things? Weaken Dio Action steps we can take to start this process Will gearing up to join online dating. I discussed at the beginning of the episode that if you don't heal your patterns, then we repeat what we don't repair. Write down a list of all your fears what you fear may go wrong or that bad date you think will happen and rip up that list or take a Sharpie and put an X through each fear or light the damn thing on fire. The point is, they're just words and fear is a liar. So I want you to start where you are. Remember, manifestation happens in the present moment, so let's not put this on a to do list for something in the future, you need to rip the band Aid off, pick any dating site enjoying. I recommend to my clients that the Google Hajto how to work tinder bumble hinge. The Internet is loaded with these tutorials. Watching these how to videos teaches you the basics. Information is power, and you want to remove any fear around something new. Ideally, we wouldn't be living through this pandemic. But as I mentioned in the previous episodes, people do have time, and they're looking to make these new connections. Now it's important to utilize this time and get a jump on the dating market. In a perfect world, I would like you to have 5 to 7 photographs, at least one professionally taken, and I'm going to talk about that in great length and in detail. The art and psychology around the leading photograph and an upcoming episode. But most important, you need to invest in yourself and the value of a professional head shop. But for now, I want you to find your top three photographs over yourself and text them to a few friends to see what they think. This feedback is important. I find that people get tripped up when choosing photographs. Don't overthink this. Upload a photograph of yourself that you like. Then you're a business pretty easy, right? Next. No bio. If they want to get to know you, they can ask. This will make men become instantly intrigued and it forces them right away to start fighting for your attention. This no bio move is called The Maverick Move. Usually employed by good looking guys. We're gonna beat them at the room game. Don't be afraid to try the maverick Move. Be your own top gun. Keep politics out of your photographs. People are very fear based on angry these days. This is not the place to get the vote out. Ladies, no Snapchat filters. I know a lot of women like them, but men hate them. They they want to see what you really look like. Avoid trying to look too sexy. You shouldn't have to try too hard in any of this. Trying too hard is a sign that you lack confidence. And that's what men find the most attractive. Someone who isn't trying to be someone other than themselves. Mentor like bees and dogs, they can smell fear, keep out photographs with other men photographs. What? Men are confusing. Is that a brother or ex boyfriend? Or is that the boyfriend still in? The pictures are lurking around hiding in the bushes. Don't confuse them. Next week I'll have more suggestions on how to build up perfect profile. I hope you found some of my tips helpful this week. This is what shot it. Low this here for to help you find love. I'm always here to help you. Remember to stay safe and stay tuned for more episodes. Follow on. Instagram Shot at love by caps. I'm Carrie Brett next.