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Smarty Pants Lance holds a stethoscope up to Medical Assistants ("MA"). Since they've no brains, he didn't expect a pulse.
There are three kinds of medical assistants: dumb, dumber, and dumbest. Becoming , Lance gets the dumbest.
Becoming a medical assistant is easy. It's perfect for those who want to qualify for something just by taking an online course.
Lance rants. He describes medical assistants are 20-30 year-old women in the Los Angeles area who are stupid, lazy, and just plain, don't care. He says they've a collective intelligence below that of a wacky, waving, arm flailing, inflatable, tube-man. Even, DMV employees look down up on them.
Lance describes a particular encounter at a doctor's office. The encounter includes a medical assistant taking his blood pressure, seeing it's completely normal- even low normal- and immediately asking him if he has high blood pressure.
When asked about surgeries throughout his lifetime, Lance has some fun by telling the genius medical assistant his first surgery was a bris when he was six days old. It was performed by a Mohle in a relative's living room 1965. The MA cannot comprehend what Lance describes. Check out his detailed description of her questions and his answers.
President Clinton chimes in at the end. He tells Lance, "I feel your pain!"
