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Charlie McCready, a life coach from London, talks with Mick and Kindra a second time regarding how to help yourself if you are a targeted parent of alienation and how to best serve your children after they have gone through that trauma.
The alienated parent is caught in a loop by our unconscious guilt and anxiety. We need to develop conscious thinking to believe positively and lovingly about ourselves. We need permission to get off that negative treadmill.
We need to be conscious about the triggers that are negative since the alienator knows our weaknesses and seeks to harm us. They hate us.
This process can be turned around to spurt personal growth; the child will return after a time.
Frame your thoughts to fast-forward towards a positive reconciliation.
Life is as it is today but the damage will be overcome. Today is an opportunity to grow.
The child is not experiencing alienation; you are. Don't over communicate by saying things such as `I miss you.' That phrase harms kids as well since they are not in control.
The alienated child experiences a fear-based relationship with the alienator. The child is stuck in the middle between fear and loss.
Don't present yourself as sad or depressed. If you are confident and happy you are the strong parent and kids seek you out.
Your past is not the same as your future; there are good people out there. Find them.
Families and friends need to be coached against the injustice that you are feeling; it does not help.
Ironically the alienator is both the victim and the victor. Kids cling to the alienator until they mature and figure the trauma out by themself.
Kids will always want to have a relationship with the parents even in cases of abuse, neglect, and criminality.
PA is still not recognized formally by the legal and the psychological communities.
Legislative reform can only be done in the US on a stage-by-state basis and not federally. People in power do not take chance making decisions so they do not face a negative reaction.
Your actions such as taking the alienator to Court, will be taken out on the child. Change your tactics to lessen pressure on the child.
Parents need to sacrifice time and contact with the child to lessen the conflict.
The alienator often arises from a conflicted, unhappy, and abusive home and they continue the cycle. These parents are poor at setting boundaries and are often child-like and immature themselves.
If a parent is immature the child tries to parent the parent thus upsetting the natural order. Parents should always be a parent. Kids just want to be kids.
If the alienator finds a new relationship now you are contending with two adults.
Family members and friends choose between the alienator, children, and you. They can turn on you further isolating you.
Develop resiliency to help yourself, family, and children.
Reach out to Charlie via Facebook and Instagram DM Charlie. He has a twenty-minute introductory video, and in a small group setting has an eight-week program which repeats four weeks later as a follow-up.
Learn more about your hosts Mick Smith and Kindra Riber. They are waging the war on ending the pain of divorce, parental alienation, custody battles and the break-up of families. Their purpose is to give you the tools on how to heal in the aftermath of family trauma and drama.
Learn more about Mick Smith:
Get Mick's Book: Burning America: Amazon.com: Burning America: In the Best Interest of The Children?: 9781956353259: Smith, G Mick: Books
Learn More About Kindra Riber:
Meet Kindra | Speak Life Into Strife (kindraspeaks.com)
If you are going through a high-conflict divorce or a custody battle, please reach out to us at:
theaftermathhealing@gmail.com
This has been a Mediacasters Production.
