Honesty, Feedback and Growth in Creativity

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Music.

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All right. Hello. Hello, everyone.

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You are listening to The Success Palette, a place to discuss how creatives can

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succeed in every aspect of our lives.

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I'm your host, and today I have Kaesevyn with me to talk about critiques,

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feedbacks, gatekeeping in the arts, and how we can really help each other by being honest,

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by being welcoming to new people in whatever sort of medium you work with,

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whether it's music, visual arts, writing.

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And what really got me interested in talking to you about this,

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K7, is your Instagram Live last night.

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You were were critiqued on your music and you handled it so well.

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How did you kind of get into that situation where you reached out to someone to do your critique?

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And can you talk a little bit about your music? What kind of music you create?

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Absolutely. So the first part of that, that I'll speak to is the fact that,

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so the kind of music that I make is mostly hip hop.

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That's where I kind of grew up you know my

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whole life listening to and it's kind of where I get

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all of my influence and everything like that from as

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far as taking criticism as far as getting it and then processing it I'm the

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kind of artist or at least I've always positioned myself to be the kind of artist

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that I look more so for feedback from people that don't know who I am don't

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know know anything about my music, don't know anything about me.

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I look to those kind of people that will give me those honest critiques,

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those honest criticisms, and I'll tell them to their face, please don't worry

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about hurting my feelings.

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Don't worry about trying to be nice.

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I want you to be as honest with me as you possibly can, because as an artist,

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my job is to get better. right?

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I don't want to be stagnant. I don't want to do the same thing that I did two or three projects ago.

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I don't want to be the same person that I was yesterday.

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I want to get better, but I can't get better if there are a hundred people versus

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like five or 50 that'll tell me, oh yeah, man, no, this is great.

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This sounds good. This is that wonderful.

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No, I look for people.

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When it comes to my art, when it comes to my artistic ability,

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I look for people to tell me what they don't like and why they don't like it.

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So that way I can take those critiques.

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I can take those notes and get better.

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I have to get better. Otherwise, what am I really doing?

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I guess I've been doing music. I've been making music for 14 years and have

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just in the last year and a half dabbled in producing my own arrangements and everything. thing.

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So as far as I'm concerned, I'm nowhere near the breaks, right?

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I'm nowhere near the level of, you know, a commercial project or,

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you know, being like a mainstream kind of artist.

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So as far as I'm concerned, you know, the majority of people that listen to

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music on a daily basis, you know, they listen to the mainstream artists,

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they listen to the mainstream sound.

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So I take that being an independent artist and I, you know, I want the notes. I want the criticisms.

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I want you to tell me how much I sound like someone else.

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So that way I can take that and appreciate it for what you're trying to tell

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me because, hey, at least you're relating it to someone that you like in your music catalog.

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But I take those notes and I apply it to what I'm doing.

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So that way, again, I can get better as a writer, get better as an artist,

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get better with my delivery, with the things that I come up with,

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just get better overall.

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Because again, I do not, I do not for any reason want to be a stagnant kind of artist.

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The minute that I think for a second that I no longer need to improve,

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I no longer need to do better, is when I become a crappy artist,

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when I become someone who's not deserving of anyone listening to them for 21

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seconds or five minutes per song.

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I don't deserve that.

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So if I'm going to put the work in on my side, I've got to do my due diligence

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and listen to the people that are listening to my songs, even if it's somebody

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who says something that doesn't align with what I want to hear.

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But it's not about what I want to hear. It's about what needs to be heard.

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It's about what needs to be said so that way I can learn and everyone else in

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attendance can learn and we can all get better. We can all go from there.

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Completely agree. And I am so guilty of being stagnant for a long time because

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I'm scared sometimes of hearing the truth and hearing what I need to improve on.

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And sometimes I end up asking the wrong people for advice and feedback.

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How do you find, I mean, those two gentlemen that you were getting feedback

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from last night, they seem to really know what they're talking about. out.

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How do you find people who can give you actually good criticism?

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So there is a, there's a saying that I've heard a few years back,

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strangers will show you all of the love that you'll ever need.

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And I take that to heart mainly because, you know, there's a lot of truth to

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that, you know, like your friends, your family, you know, whoever you're with,

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your partner, whatever, They are going to tell you because they're biased.

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They're going to tell you what they think you want to hear. You know what I mean?

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I like getting the notes. I like getting the feedback, the criticism from complete

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strangers because they're unbiased.

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They're not going to sit here and try to be nice to me. They're not going to

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sit here and know my whole history.

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They're not going to know who I am. They're not going to know anything about

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me other than the, you know, the last three minutes of me rapping, singing, whatever.

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And they're going to give me their honest thoughts and their,

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you know, their criticisms about what they heard.

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And that's what I value a lot more. I can send a song to my best friend,

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you know, seven times a week, you know, three hundred fifty two weeks a year,

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whatever. And they're going to tell me what they think I want to hear.

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Right. And a lot of times I've actually gotten away from trying to get validation

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from friends for the objective purpose of, you know, you're my friend.

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You know me. You know everything that there is to know about me.

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You know what I'm trying to do. You know where I'm trying to go. You know everything.

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Yada, yada, yada. So, again, you're biased to, you know, help me along with

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what I think this stranger,

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this person who's known nothing about me other than the first five minutes that

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I've had introducing myself,

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you know, there they have nothing, you know, over me, with me,

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nothing there. It is what it is.

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So if and then especially if I tell you, you know, you know,

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give me your honest feedback of what my song does for you or what it doesn't do for you.

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I like I said, I want to I want to know that more than I want to know that you

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like the song. Great that you like the song. Fantastic.

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And I am in there and I'm not trying to be facetious when I say it,

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but it's fantastic that you like the song.

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But what does that do for me as an artist who's trying to get better?

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It's great that you like it. You know what I mean? It's another thing for you

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to share it. It's another thing for you to show it to your friends.

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Listen to it on repeat. That's all well and good and it's fantastic.

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It's a whole other kind of ball game when you don't like it or you don't like

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everything about it or you rate it somewhere on a scale of 1 to 10 on the lower

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side or somewhere close to the middle and you're calling it average because at that point,

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I'm going to take that you're not saying that it's bad,

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but this is what you're saying I can improve on.

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And to me, that as an artist, that is more important than anything in the world,

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because like I said, I want to get better.

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I want to make sure that everything that I put out, album, EP,

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single, mixtape, whatever, I want to make sure that all of that,

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you know, that I do, everything that I put out is the very best that I can possibly make it.

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So I will take all of the criticism.

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I will take all of the notes and I will apply it to what I'm working on.

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So that way, whenever I do put this out, whenever I do go live with it, whoever I do show it to.

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Right. This is as best as I can get it with the resources that I have.

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And I want you to tell me whether or not I'm doing good, I'm going in the right

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direction or if I need to go back to the drawing board. And if I need to go

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back to the drawing board, that is perfectly fine because that's exactly what

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I was looking for you to say. You know what I mean?

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And once you get that awesome criticism from all these different people,

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how do you filter out what's actually good criticism?

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What is bad criticism? Things that,

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you know, if someone like me who's not a musician gives you feedback that conflicts

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with someone who is a musician,

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you might realize that maybe my feedback isn't the best how do you go through

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that and how has your education your experience in music affected your confidence

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in knowing what criticism to take.

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So to preface the answer for that, I've been making music for about 14 years or so.

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I've gone from literally, you know, biting off of other artists' styles to rapping

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over other beats, rapping over, you know, things that, you know,

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I don't know anything about copyright.

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I don't know anything about plagiarism, anything like that, to being,

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you know, someone who has decided that, hey, we're going to do all of this in-house.

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And we're not going to pay any money to anybody other than ourselves because copyright.

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And we don't have enough money to deal with that in open court.

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But to filter through what is good criticism and what's just someone being a

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hater, it's really the way that they phrase it.

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And it's really the way that they execute giving me the note.

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So take, for example, the two gentlemen and last night, you know,

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first and foremost, I always tell anyone who's going to give me criticism,

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I always let them know, hey, look, do not be afraid of hurting my feelings.

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Do not be afraid of saying the wrong thing, because as far as I'm concerned,

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you're never going to say the wrong thing when you're criticizing me,

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because all of what you think is wrong to say, I'm going to take it and run with it anyways.

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Because as far as I'm concerned, that's something that I didn't think about

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when I wrote this song. That's something I didn't think about when I recorded this.

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But to filter out what's good advice and what's not good advice,

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it really does depend on what's being said and how they say it.

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If you say to me something like, hey, look, your beat was fantastic.

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I really vibed with it. I like this. I like that. But your lyrics didn't really do it for me.

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Something like that. I know the kind of person that I am.

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I was born in the 90s. So a lot of the things that I do tend to put in into

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my music, a lot of it is like, you know, very similar,

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very adjacent to early 2000s, like everything before 2010 kind of hip hop kind of rap.

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So I'm kind of I'm kind of old school when you really think of it or when you

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really sit back and listen to what I say or how I say it.

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So that in and of itself doesn't really bother me.

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But what would bother me would be, you know, you're telling me,

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hey, you don't like my songs. You don't like anything about me as an artist,

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but you're also not offering me any suggestions or any kind of advice to get better.

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Right. You're you're wasting your and my time by telling me that you don't like me.

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That's fine that you don't like me, man. There's over eight billion people in this world.

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And I'm pretty sure at least 25 percent of that eight billion make music.

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Go find someone else to listen to at that point.

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Right. But if you're telling me, hey, look, you know, this is what I like the

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song, but this is what I would have done different.

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I'll listen to that. OK. OK. I see why you say that. that I,

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okay, I can look back at the song, keep your thought in mind.

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Damn. Okay. I see exactly what they were saying. So my biggest,

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my biggest thing is when, you know, whenever I get criticism,

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I like to look for it from strangers as opposed to people that know me and know a lot about me.

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And just, you know, ultimately to filter out between what's good advice and

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what's not good good advice is telling me something because I'm a one man army, so to speak, right?

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I do everything myself from writing to mixing, mastering, marketing,

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everything that there is to do for music. I do it all myself.

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So when you tell me something that I've never thought of before, right?

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It's not to be egotistic, but I take that into consideration because,

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well, damn, man, I didn't think of that.

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Why didn't I do it that way? Why didn't I do it like this?

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You know what I mean? And I value that kind of creativity because it's always better.

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It's always more fun to be in a session with someone than it is to do it all by yourself.

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I value people that think differently

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than I do because of how much of

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what I do is fueled by just me

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and my thoughts and my feelings so i i

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take it to heart and i take so much pride in

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hearing someone else critique me because as

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far as i'm concerned you either like it or you don't and if you don't like it

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i would hope that as an artist as a professional that you would tell me how

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to get better because i dislike so much in my profession and you know in life

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in general i hate keeping being beneficial information from anyone for any reason.

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Yeah. And before we started recording, you kind of talked a little bit about

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that on the importance of us giving feedback to others and being giving honest feedback.

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And sometimes we feel that maybe we're being mean by telling the truth.

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But we were talking about kind of the what was the example that you were talking about?

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I think it was Adam and Eve or something like that.

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I thought that was very interesting. Yeah, no.

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So to go off of that,

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if I have information or if I have certain keys to success that another artist

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in my field or just adjacent to what I'm doing can utilize for the benefit of

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their career or whatever it is that they're doing,

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I would be a fool and I'd be a criminal, so to speak, if I didn't give them that. Right.

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Don't get me wrong. Yes. For all intents and purposes, we treat making music

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like it's a competition.

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Everyone's got to be the best something. Best songwriter, best rapper,

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best singer, best whatever. Right.

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My honest opinion is that there's more than enough love.

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There's more than enough money. There's more than enough whatever it is that

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you're chasing, whatever it is that you want.

219
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There's more than enough success at the top. So why then should we treat this

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field as a dog-eat-dog kind of competition?

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Why can't we just help each other?

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You want the same thing that I want. At the end of the day, and let's call a

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spade a spade, you want to be able to utilize your music or whatever it is that

224
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you're doing with your art to pay your bills.

225
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You want to be able to live off of this You want this to be your job You want

226
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to be able to wake up And do nothing else except this Why can't we both help each other get there?

227
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Why do I have to tear you down In order to get to where I want to be?

228
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Why do I need to be torn down So that you can get to where you want to be?

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If I can open the door For the next 10 artists to get through Just to speak

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with somebody on the other side why would I deny those 10 their opportunity?

231
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Right. I'm the one who got a chance to open the door in the first place.

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So as far as I'm concerned, if I'm going to be the one who gets the door first,

233
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well, I'm going to hold it open for as many people as I possibly can,

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because that's just right.

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If they reciprocated or not, that's on them.

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But it's I feel like it's my job as an artist, it's my job as a human being

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to help as many people on this planet as I possibly can before I'm gone. on.

238
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So when it comes to music, I'm not going to deny anyone the opportunity to make

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something of themselves if that's what they really want to do.

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You've got to prove to me at some point that you deserve it,

241
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but we'll cross that bridge when we get there, right?

242
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And until we do get there, like I said, I'm not going to stop you from being great.

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I'm going to root for you. I'm going to give you everything that I possibly can to be great.

244
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Even if it means being greater than me, I'm going to give you that for as much as I can.

245
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So that way, when you do make it, I will only hope that you don't forget about

246
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me. And if you do, that's fine, because I'm still doing my thing.

247
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But big ups to you and congrats to you for taking yourself right where you need

248
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to be at, despite what I am or am not able to do for it. I love that mentality.

249
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And I think we need more of that because in some communities,

250
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like it gets bad, just this, this jealousy, the tearing each other down.

251
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How do you not get jealous or compare when you realize that you are,

252
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you do have a lot more to work on and you see these other people who,

253
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you know, they, their music, their art, whatever.

254
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It's just, you feel it's so much ahead of you.

255
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What are some ways that you could keep that confidence and not be scared of

256
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the honest criticism that you're receiving?

257
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The first thing that I have to remember in every situation is that regardless

258
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of what I think, regardless of how I feel, there are always going to be people

259
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that are just better than me.

260
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It is just an inevitable fact. There are going to be people that rap better

261
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than I do, write better than I do, mix, produce, master, whatever it is.

262
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There are going to be people in this world that exist that are just way better than I am.

263
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I am not always going to be the smartest person in the room.

264
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I'm not always going to be the most talented.

265
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But knowing that and keeping that humility allows me to do the things that I

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do and move in the ways that I do.

267
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Because Because again, I want to get better.

268
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So when I run into someone who is better than me, I'm going to shut up and I'm going to take notes.

269
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I'm going to start doing my homework because, oh my God, this person has it going on.

270
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They know what they're doing. They were ready two, three hours before they even got here.

271
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And here I am just now getting ready. I'm in the room.

272
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I need to stop what I'm doing, put the phone down and pay attention.

273
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You know what I mean? I don't care if it's the cadence. I don't care if it's

274
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a technique. I don't care whatever it is that they're doing.

275
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I need to make sure that I walk out of here smarter and better than I was when I walked in.

276
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I have to. It is not, you know, it's mandatory that I do.

277
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Right. So dealing with feelings of like inadequacy or jealousy or anything like

278
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that, there's no way to avoid it. But there's just in 14 years of doing music,

279
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there's just no way to avoid it at all.

280
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What I will tell you is that for as for as envious or as jealous as you can

281
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be of someone doing what you do better than you.

282
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Don't look at it like they're better than you and they think they're better

283
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than you. Well, pick their brain.

284
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Pick their brain. See what makes them better. See what makes them do what they

285
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do differently than you.

286
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Because for all you know, they'll give it to you. They're waiting for someone

287
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to ask them, how do you do this? How do you do that?

288
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They're waiting for someone like that the same way you're waiting to be the

289
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one to tell somebody, to give someone the keys to success.

290
00:20:53,174 --> 00:20:56,434
Success they're waiting just like you are so pick

291
00:20:56,434 --> 00:20:59,094
their brain make them feel good you don't gotta you know

292
00:20:59,094 --> 00:21:03,354
necessarily stroke their ego or kiss ass so to speak but it's

293
00:21:03,354 --> 00:21:10,474
more beneficial for everyone involved if you choose to learn from your peers

294
00:21:10,474 --> 00:21:13,954
learn from whom you're around learn from the opportunities that you're graced

295
00:21:13,954 --> 00:21:21,274
with as opposed to sitting there being upset being you know envious being a sore loser.

296
00:21:21,534 --> 00:21:28,714
I have no problem whenever I invite someone to feature on a song or collaborate with.

297
00:21:28,814 --> 00:21:33,254
I have no problem, man, if you are the better artist on this song.

298
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I'm going to give you your props in the studio and also when we put it out,

299
00:21:38,814 --> 00:21:41,334
because that's just how good you are to me.

300
00:21:41,594 --> 00:21:45,054
You're so much better than me that you've waxed me on my own song.

301
00:21:45,254 --> 00:21:47,674
I'm not going to not put that that out, man.

302
00:21:48,174 --> 00:21:51,434
It's a dope song. It's great. It's wonderful.

303
00:21:51,674 --> 00:21:56,254
And again, I'd be a criminal if I tried to hide this from someone because of my own insecurities.

304
00:21:56,574 --> 00:22:00,374
My own insecurities will hit me so hard that'll tell me, hey,

305
00:22:00,394 --> 00:22:05,474
listen, if we have the opportunity to, at the very least, you can go back and redo your verse.

306
00:22:05,654 --> 00:22:08,654
You can go back and redo this. So that way, at the very least,

307
00:22:08,694 --> 00:22:12,914
you're not greater than them on the song, but at the very least,

308
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you're up to par. and I look for people, I look for other artists to be better

309
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than me. So that way, again, I learn.

310
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The way I get better. You know what I mean? You can wax me on a song. I don't care, man.

311
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As long as you do me a favor and teach me rather than ridicule me,

312
00:22:29,324 --> 00:22:34,464
educate me instead of making fun of me, I'm going to do everything in my power

313
00:22:34,464 --> 00:22:37,384
to learn as much as I can from you in this one session.

314
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And then who knows, we may have five or 10 sessions after this.

315
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And I keep, and I continue to learn from you until I surpass you or at the very

316
00:22:45,084 --> 00:22:46,564
least get on the same level as you. you.

317
00:22:47,164 --> 00:22:50,804
There's more than enough room at the top or wherever it is that we're trying

318
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to go to get, you know, to have love for each other, to have respect for each

319
00:22:56,164 --> 00:22:59,464
other, to share the money, to do everything that we need to do.

320
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I don't need to tear you down.

321
00:23:00,924 --> 00:23:03,944
I don't need to have this crabs in a barrel mentality.

322
00:23:04,424 --> 00:23:09,804
You know what I mean? Just to have a career. I don't care if you make it before I do.

323
00:23:10,184 --> 00:23:13,264
The fact that I know you, the fact that I've had the opportunity opportunity

324
00:23:13,264 --> 00:23:15,324
to be graced in your presence,

325
00:23:15,404 --> 00:23:21,084
to be honored by you featuring on one of my songs where I'm just in this room

326
00:23:21,084 --> 00:23:25,444
making it by myself is enough for me to say that, hey, this person has respect

327
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for me and I'm going to give them that respect back no matter what.

328
00:23:29,184 --> 00:23:34,524
I want it to always be a thing of love and camaraderie whenever I'm working

329
00:23:34,524 --> 00:23:38,444
with anybody, whether it be a stranger or someone I've known for the last decade.

330
00:23:38,684 --> 00:23:44,804
I need you to know I'm always going to be the same person on camera as I am off camera.

331
00:23:45,084 --> 00:23:47,624
So I've got to show you that I can't just tell you.

332
00:23:48,419 --> 00:23:51,199
That was powerful. That was powerful, dude.

333
00:23:51,579 --> 00:23:57,299
Like if everybody in the arts had that mentality, like this world would be a different place.

334
00:23:57,419 --> 00:24:01,259
We wouldn't be, we wouldn't be scared of AI.

335
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:07,719
We wouldn't be scared of not being respected because we would be actually supporting each other.

336
00:24:07,979 --> 00:24:13,039
So I'm so glad that you talked about that. And I love it so much.

337
00:24:13,159 --> 00:24:17,399
And I know you do quite a bit of collaborations. The song that I did listen

338
00:24:17,399 --> 00:24:21,719
to from you, I believe your wife was collaborating with you, right?

339
00:24:21,879 --> 00:24:26,379
How does that work? Do you give feedback to each other?

340
00:24:26,779 --> 00:24:32,099
I know feedback from my spouse is very uncomfortable because he's like really blunt.

341
00:24:32,379 --> 00:24:35,999
But how is that working with your wife?

342
00:24:36,399 --> 00:24:40,059
So it actually works the same way that it does with strangers.

343
00:24:40,459 --> 00:24:45,199
Me and my wife, we have this connection. We have this kind of communication.

344
00:24:45,719 --> 00:24:49,159
One, it just didn't happen overnight. Right. It took years to build.

345
00:24:49,339 --> 00:24:56,079
But we we both agree to refuse to not educate the other one. Right.

346
00:24:56,279 --> 00:25:00,859
I'm not going to sit here and tell you what you think you want here.

347
00:25:00,979 --> 00:25:03,159
I'm going to tell you what I actually hear.

348
00:25:03,299 --> 00:25:06,619
I'm going to be objective with it because, hey, look, you're trying to do this.

349
00:25:07,259 --> 00:25:12,999
And for as much as I respect that you're trying to do this, what you're right now is not cutting it.

350
00:25:13,639 --> 00:25:17,639
I'm not sorry. It's not cutting it. You need to do better because what you're

351
00:25:17,639 --> 00:25:20,759
going for and what you're doing right now are two totally different things.

352
00:25:20,859 --> 00:25:23,919
And let me tell you something, if you're going to put this out like this,

353
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:27,079
it's not going to work. And I'm telling you now it's not going to work.

354
00:25:27,339 --> 00:25:31,199
So don't be surprised that if you do put it out in this state, that it doesn't work.

355
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:37,019
So the song in particular, for those out there listening, it's called Some of That.

356
00:25:37,019 --> 00:25:42,539
That song came about, I was, admittedly, I was under the influence,

357
00:25:42,779 --> 00:25:48,439
you know, and I was playing around with some samples,

358
00:25:48,639 --> 00:25:52,919
royalty free, by the way, just in case anyone wants to get their copyright knickers

359
00:25:52,919 --> 00:25:57,219
in a bunch, playing around with some samples and, you know, and I'm doing the,

360
00:25:57,319 --> 00:25:59,179
I'm making the beat and everything.

361
00:25:59,599 --> 00:26:05,479
And I've heard my wife just like casually sing some of her favorite songs.

362
00:26:06,613 --> 00:26:12,773
And I tell her, I said, babe, you have an amazing voice and I really want to

363
00:26:12,773 --> 00:26:15,233
harness that for what I'm trying to do here.

364
00:26:15,613 --> 00:26:20,713
And I know that you're shy. I know that you don't do this in the depth that

365
00:26:20,713 --> 00:26:24,033
I do, but I'm going to be honest with you.

366
00:26:24,073 --> 00:26:29,333
I don't think this song will be as great as it possibly can be without your voice.

367
00:26:29,513 --> 00:26:32,753
It's just not going to happen. I'll put this song out and it'll flop.

368
00:26:33,173 --> 00:26:38,533
But you, on the other hand, you'll take this song to higher heights than I ever could.

369
00:26:39,273 --> 00:26:45,293
But to piggyback off of what you said earlier, when it comes to using AI in music,

370
00:26:45,433 --> 00:26:52,613
the way that I look at things nowadays is I respect every and all kinds of resources

371
00:26:52,613 --> 00:26:54,313
that I'm able to put my hands on.

372
00:26:54,673 --> 00:27:00,913
In some ways, using AI to create music is extremely disrespectful to the art funding.

373
00:27:00,913 --> 00:27:05,973
However, when you're utilizing it in a sense where it's only,

374
00:27:06,053 --> 00:27:12,453
you know, helping you, you know, create or paint the picture of whatever your

375
00:27:12,453 --> 00:27:16,193
vision is for this song, I don't see a problem, right? Right.

376
00:27:16,373 --> 00:27:19,633
If if you're like me, if you're anything like me. Right.

377
00:27:20,113 --> 00:27:24,953
Everything that I do is basically by myself until I work up the courage to go

378
00:27:24,953 --> 00:27:27,573
ask somebody, hey, can you help me with this?

379
00:27:27,633 --> 00:27:32,013
Once I get past my little inadequacies or once I get past my little insecurities

380
00:27:32,013 --> 00:27:35,173
about asking someone to be on a song with me. Right.

381
00:27:35,353 --> 00:27:39,613
In any case, like, listen, as far as I'm concerned, this is just a working demo.

382
00:27:39,613 --> 00:27:43,953
And I want to get this working demo as great as I can before I go show it to

383
00:27:43,953 --> 00:27:46,413
someone else who will really deliver on this song.

384
00:27:46,613 --> 00:27:54,273
So in some cases, using AI, I mean, it is what it is, man, whether you're using

385
00:27:54,273 --> 00:27:59,733
it for chord progression or using it to change a voice or do whatever. Right.

386
00:28:00,373 --> 00:28:03,673
As long as you're respecting the resource and as long as you're respecting the

387
00:28:03,673 --> 00:28:08,753
art form when you do it and not just like having a I write a song,

388
00:28:08,873 --> 00:28:12,113
create a song and then you putting it out like, yeah, you did it all yourself.

389
00:28:12,473 --> 00:28:14,553
Right. I don't I don't see a problem.

390
00:28:15,013 --> 00:28:21,553
But to to put a button on on your question, getting getting my wife to do the song with me.

391
00:28:21,553 --> 00:28:27,973
She's actually on a few songs throughout the album, but getting her to get her

392
00:28:27,973 --> 00:28:31,553
voice, you know, on some of the tracks that are on there, you know,

393
00:28:31,553 --> 00:28:35,933
it was an uphill battle because she's a lot shyer than I am.

394
00:28:36,233 --> 00:28:41,973
Again, I've been doing this for so long and she's only got so much exposure and experience to it.

395
00:28:41,973 --> 00:28:48,853
So trying to get her to look past her own insecurities and her own inadequacies

396
00:28:48,853 --> 00:28:53,113
that she feels just to, you know, deliver, you know, grandstanding performance on the track.

397
00:28:54,244 --> 00:28:58,084
Again, a lot of it was trying to help her build up her self-esteem,

398
00:28:58,324 --> 00:29:03,484
build up her confidence, and just telling her, look, babe, I'm going to be honest with you.

399
00:29:03,544 --> 00:29:08,924
Again, if I don't get you on this song, I'm going to have to go cheat.

400
00:29:09,124 --> 00:29:12,684
I'm going to have to go do something else to get this song to where it needs

401
00:29:12,684 --> 00:29:16,724
to be at. And then in that process, I'll probably make the song sound like trash,

402
00:29:17,044 --> 00:29:18,824
whereas you're right here.

403
00:29:19,004 --> 00:29:22,404
And I, you know, I can just I know how to mix and master.

404
00:29:22,444 --> 00:29:28,204
I know how to do all of the whatevers to your voice or whatever to give you

405
00:29:28,204 --> 00:29:30,104
the vocal presence that this track needs.

406
00:29:30,684 --> 00:29:36,984
And I can't hear anybody else's voice and hear anybody else's work on this other than yours.

407
00:29:37,124 --> 00:29:40,964
So if if you don't help me and it's the ultimatum, but if you don't help me,

408
00:29:41,024 --> 00:29:42,644
it's that this song is not going out.

409
00:29:43,184 --> 00:29:45,524
It'll just be on the cutting room floor and it just is what it is.

410
00:29:45,904 --> 00:29:51,204
And, you know, because you're so honest, like this is how I think of my husband.

411
00:29:51,264 --> 00:29:52,184
My husband's very honest.

412
00:29:52,264 --> 00:29:55,264
He'll tell me if what I make sucks. He'll tell me if I'm boring.

413
00:29:55,504 --> 00:29:59,264
He'll tell me whatever. But when he gives me a compliment, like you gave her

414
00:29:59,264 --> 00:30:05,984
a compliment, you know that it's sincere because you're not just flowery,

415
00:30:05,984 --> 00:30:07,864
you know, giving what they want to hear.

416
00:30:07,864 --> 00:30:15,004
How can we, what's just as important, in my opinion, as giving this criticism

417
00:30:15,004 --> 00:30:20,864
is really boosting each other up when we deserve to be boosted,

418
00:30:20,884 --> 00:30:22,004
especially in the beginning.

419
00:30:22,244 --> 00:30:26,264
I know I really needed some, maybe not, oh, you're such a great artist,

420
00:30:26,364 --> 00:30:32,204
but maybe, hey, I love your work ethic or your consistency or something.

421
00:30:32,204 --> 00:30:38,824
What are some ways that we can encourage each other without giving false uplifting

422
00:30:38,824 --> 00:30:40,164
feedback, if that makes sense?

423
00:30:40,464 --> 00:30:46,424
No, absolutely. It makes it makes a lot of sense. The first thing that the first

424
00:30:46,424 --> 00:30:50,244
step to solving a problem is admitting that there is one. Number one. Right.

425
00:30:51,284 --> 00:30:58,144
If you if if my wife decided, you know, hey, babe, I want to make music,

426
00:30:58,184 --> 00:31:00,864
I want to do an album, I want to do something. something, right?

427
00:31:01,284 --> 00:31:08,784
I can only take what you're telling me at face value until you show me that you're serious.

428
00:31:09,404 --> 00:31:15,364
If you show me that you're oh so serious just as I am or beyond what I do for

429
00:31:15,364 --> 00:31:21,804
my own stuff, if you show me that you're serious, I will back you no doubt 100%.

430
00:31:21,804 --> 00:31:23,664
I will give you everything that you need.

431
00:31:23,744 --> 00:31:26,184
I will give you all of my time, all of my attention.

432
00:31:26,324 --> 00:31:31,384
I will make sure that this is the best thing that we both put our names on at the time.

433
00:31:32,153 --> 00:31:37,833
If you are just telling me that you want to do this, it'd be cool.

434
00:31:37,893 --> 00:31:39,553
It'd be nice. It'd be whatever.

435
00:31:39,753 --> 00:31:44,133
If you're finicky with me, I'm going to be finicky with you and I'm not going to take you serious.

436
00:31:44,513 --> 00:31:47,213
I'm only going to take you serious when you show me that you're serious.

437
00:31:47,273 --> 00:31:54,273
So that's what lets me know how to give advice, how to support somebody when

438
00:31:54,273 --> 00:31:57,693
you show me that you're serious about what you're doing, right?

439
00:31:58,133 --> 00:32:03,613
I'm not, and I refuse to waste your time or waste your energy or waste giving

440
00:32:03,613 --> 00:32:06,533
attention to something that you're not serious about.

441
00:32:06,953 --> 00:32:10,513
So that way we can both come together as a partnership.

442
00:32:10,713 --> 00:32:14,493
We can both come together as two individuals and figure out what's going to

443
00:32:14,493 --> 00:32:16,933
work and what's going to satisfy us both.

444
00:32:17,553 --> 00:32:23,053
If for whatever reason, you know, we can't at the very least compromise on,

445
00:32:23,093 --> 00:32:26,793
you know, something to do, well, then we'll just agree to disagree.

446
00:32:26,953 --> 00:32:30,633
Hey, look, this is the way that I feel about it. This is what I think.

447
00:32:30,733 --> 00:32:32,073
You feel and think differently.

448
00:32:32,273 --> 00:32:35,973
So we'll just, we'll table this for another time if you'd like to come back

449
00:32:35,973 --> 00:32:39,253
to it. And if you don't want to, well, that's fine, but it's on the table.

450
00:32:39,293 --> 00:32:40,213
The offer is still there.

451
00:32:40,473 --> 00:32:45,193
I can still do this for you if you want to, but I'm not going to waste my time

452
00:32:45,193 --> 00:32:49,993
and I'm not going to let you waste my time just in the same question.

453
00:32:51,113 --> 00:32:54,513
I'm not going to waste your time and I'm not going to want to waste your time.

454
00:32:54,573 --> 00:32:56,993
I'm not going to want to waste your energy when it comes to this.

455
00:32:57,353 --> 00:33:01,133
I'm very, I'm a very passionate person when it comes to music.

456
00:33:01,613 --> 00:33:06,873
If I did not have my wife, if I did not have my kids, if I didn't have anything

457
00:33:06,873 --> 00:33:11,013
going for me except music, and then I lost music, I would be a show of a person.

458
00:33:11,293 --> 00:33:17,773
I would 100% not, I would feel like I don't have anything else in the world tying me to the world.

459
00:33:19,532 --> 00:33:27,712
That being said, for as passionate as I am, for as much as I want music to work for me and my family,

460
00:33:27,812 --> 00:33:34,052
I refuse to treat it as anything like a hobby or anything less than someone

461
00:33:34,052 --> 00:33:39,432
serious until they give me reason not to believe that they're serious about it.

462
00:33:39,512 --> 00:33:46,052
You know what I mean? But I will say that when it comes to supporting her and

463
00:33:46,052 --> 00:33:47,552
the things that she wants to do,

464
00:33:47,632 --> 00:33:54,072
it takes a level of communication that you have to foster over some time to

465
00:33:54,072 --> 00:34:04,612
execute and communicate properly what they need to hear versus what they want to hear. hear.

466
00:34:05,012 --> 00:34:09,852
You want to hear that the person that you're with supports you.

467
00:34:09,932 --> 00:34:12,592
You want to hear that they like what you're doing.

468
00:34:13,072 --> 00:34:17,232
But if they're anything like your husband or like me, I'm going to tell you

469
00:34:17,232 --> 00:34:20,612
what you need to hear because as far as I'm concerned, you're serious about

470
00:34:20,612 --> 00:34:22,272
this and I want you to get better.

471
00:34:22,452 --> 00:34:26,592
And if you're asking me from a fan's perspective, from just a viewer perspective,

472
00:34:27,032 --> 00:34:31,132
no, this is boring. I'm going to tell you right now, it's boring.

473
00:34:31,452 --> 00:34:34,952
This is not the best that you can do. And I think you can do better.

474
00:34:35,092 --> 00:34:39,612
So before you put this out, I would revisit this point, this, this, this, and this.

475
00:34:40,312 --> 00:34:42,992
And then if you don't, that's on you. It's your, it's still your,

476
00:34:43,032 --> 00:34:44,792
it's still your call. It's still your choice.

477
00:34:45,292 --> 00:34:49,172
But if you're asking me and for all intents and purposes, you are,

478
00:34:49,312 --> 00:34:53,332
this is what you need to do to get better. If you want to get better.

479
00:34:54,092 --> 00:34:57,352
But then I got to put the ball, I got to leave the ball in your court because

480
00:34:57,352 --> 00:34:59,512
at the end of the day, it's your choice.

481
00:34:59,632 --> 00:35:05,012
It's your prerogative to do or not to do what I'm advising or suggesting that

482
00:35:05,012 --> 00:35:08,552
you do to get better or to, you know, master your craft.

483
00:35:08,892 --> 00:35:12,672
Yeah. And when going back to what you said about what someone needs,

484
00:35:12,812 --> 00:35:18,012
something I had to learn because I come from a very, very sugarcoat family where

485
00:35:18,012 --> 00:35:20,652
we just, oh, it's so great. great.

486
00:35:20,712 --> 00:35:25,232
You know, we, we are not confrontational. And then again, my husband's family, they're very blunt.

487
00:35:25,452 --> 00:35:29,652
And it's been it was very difficult for us for a long time.

488
00:35:29,692 --> 00:35:33,752
But something that we we had to be really honest with each other.

489
00:35:33,812 --> 00:35:37,792
And he had to be like, Okay, do you want this a hobby? Or do you want this a business?

490
00:35:38,032 --> 00:35:42,692
And then he would ask me, Okay, now do you want constructive feedback?

491
00:35:42,972 --> 00:35:47,432
Or do you want a confidence boost? Because if you just want a confidence boost,

492
00:35:47,572 --> 00:35:51,032
and this is just just a hobby for you, then I'll give that to you.

493
00:35:51,152 --> 00:35:56,852
But if you you know, and so the person asking for feedback, I'm realizing has

494
00:35:56,852 --> 00:36:00,932
a responsibility to tell them, hey, I'm just feeling nervous,

495
00:36:01,052 --> 00:36:02,692
and I just need a confidence boost.

496
00:36:02,872 --> 00:36:08,292
That's what I need. But if you want feedback, you have to be open to that honest

497
00:36:08,292 --> 00:36:13,292
feedback and have that communication, that honest communication, communication, right?

498
00:36:14,072 --> 00:36:20,272
Absolutely. Absolutely. There's nothing, for me, there's nothing more disrespectful,

499
00:36:20,272 --> 00:36:21,732
regardless of your craft.

500
00:36:21,832 --> 00:36:23,992
There's nothing more disrespectful than being facetious.

501
00:36:24,412 --> 00:36:29,052
Nothing more disrespectful. I don't care what you think I want to hear.

502
00:36:29,312 --> 00:36:34,312
I need you to tell me, especially because I'm trying to be better.

503
00:36:34,432 --> 00:36:40,052
I'm trying to get better. I'm trying to do more than than what I'm doing now.

504
00:36:41,192 --> 00:36:46,212
I need you to tell me what I need to hear, especially if it's something that

505
00:36:46,212 --> 00:36:47,792
you think I don't want to hear.

506
00:36:48,232 --> 00:36:51,272
That's what I need to hear the most. I want you to tell me, hey,

507
00:36:51,292 --> 00:36:54,752
babe, listen to me. I love you so much, but this song is garbage.

508
00:36:55,392 --> 00:36:58,652
This song is not going to get you to where you think it's going to put you.

509
00:36:58,752 --> 00:36:59,712
It's not going to happen.

510
00:36:59,832 --> 00:37:04,472
I'm going to be honest with you. Babe, we listen to music all the time. We do this. We do that.

511
00:37:04,712 --> 00:37:07,872
I've heard every song that you've ever worked on, every song you've ever put

512
00:37:07,872 --> 00:37:08,972
out before it got put out.

513
00:37:09,172 --> 00:37:12,952
I'm telling you right now, this is not you. This is not the direction you need

514
00:37:12,952 --> 00:37:16,732
to go in for this project. This is not what you need to do.

515
00:37:17,152 --> 00:37:25,492
If you do this, I need you to understand that I do understand why you did this.

516
00:37:25,572 --> 00:37:29,652
I understand where you were trying to go, but I need you to know that I'm not

517
00:37:29,652 --> 00:37:32,772
going to support you because I don't like it. I don't agree with it.

518
00:37:32,852 --> 00:37:33,912
I don't think this is you.

519
00:37:34,012 --> 00:37:38,452
I think This is something completely far beyond your scope or something completely

520
00:37:38,452 --> 00:37:44,312
beyond, you know, your identity as an artist that I can't rock with this.

521
00:37:44,432 --> 00:37:48,012
I just can't. And I'm not going to. So don't ask me to pretend.

522
00:37:48,252 --> 00:37:52,012
Don't ask me to like it. Don't ask me to share it or anything like that,

523
00:37:52,092 --> 00:37:54,552
because I don't agree with it. I don't like it.

524
00:37:54,752 --> 00:37:58,912
And I will take conversations like that too hard.

525
00:37:58,912 --> 00:38:03,272
I won't take it personal like it's an attack, but I will take it to where,

526
00:38:03,532 --> 00:38:08,352
you know, if she feels so strongly about this and what I'm trying to do,

527
00:38:08,472 --> 00:38:12,792
song title, lyrics, chorus, beat selection, whatever.

528
00:38:12,972 --> 00:38:16,892
If she doesn't like it and she's telling me all of this in depth,

529
00:38:16,912 --> 00:38:20,272
in detail, damn, it really must be that bad.

530
00:38:20,732 --> 00:38:27,112
I must really be in my own zone and I'm so far gone that I am so far removed

531
00:38:27,112 --> 00:38:31,532
from objectivity that this is my wake-up call.

532
00:38:31,872 --> 00:38:35,432
This is what I need to hear right now because otherwise, no,

533
00:38:35,552 --> 00:38:38,592
babe, it's great. No, I like it. You could do this. You could do that.

534
00:38:38,812 --> 00:38:41,932
You could do this for the chords.

535
00:38:42,052 --> 00:38:46,652
You could do this for the hook. But if she's telling me in so many words that

536
00:38:46,652 --> 00:38:51,852
this is not the right move to make in my heart of hearts as an artist and as

537
00:38:51,852 --> 00:38:53,032
a person and as a husband,

538
00:38:53,152 --> 00:39:00,092
I'm going to make sure that I take the criticism in stride and run with it because

539
00:39:00,092 --> 00:39:02,172
she knows I want to get better.

540
00:39:02,172 --> 00:39:04,632
She knows that I want to do this for the rest of my life.

541
00:39:04,852 --> 00:39:10,632
And as far as I'm concerned, there's nobody else that I run music by demo or

542
00:39:10,632 --> 00:39:14,632
otherwise before I put it out saying, hey, does it sound OK?

543
00:39:14,792 --> 00:39:18,252
You listen to everything that I do literally all the time.

544
00:39:18,572 --> 00:39:24,752
If no one knows better about what to do, what not to do other than me, it's you.

545
00:39:24,952 --> 00:39:29,012
So if you're telling me no shit, it must be no. Fuck it. We're going back to the drawing board.

546
00:39:30,039 --> 00:39:35,639
Absolutely. That completely makes sense. And I just I love how how you have

547
00:39:35,639 --> 00:39:41,539
such a great, honest relationship with yourself and the people that you work with.

548
00:39:41,619 --> 00:39:45,999
And before I go into my last question, which I think is probably the most important

549
00:39:45,999 --> 00:39:49,759
question about this, I want to hear a little bit about your album.

550
00:39:49,879 --> 00:39:54,919
What inspired your album, where people can find you? Again, the album's called Underground Heart.

551
00:39:55,099 --> 00:39:59,479
It's on Apple Music, Spotify, YouTube Music, Tidal, Deezer, Amazon Music,

552
00:39:59,559 --> 00:40:02,779
wherever it is. People stream, you know, their favorite songs and favorite artists.

553
00:40:04,059 --> 00:40:08,779
It came out February 2nd this year, 2024.

554
00:40:09,879 --> 00:40:17,159
It is a project that it took form and it took shape over the course of a year and a half.

555
00:40:17,159 --> 00:40:22,439
At first, it was just a mix-match of songs that, you know, hey,

556
00:40:22,539 --> 00:40:26,199
I'm just now getting into, you know, producing my own music.

557
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:29,679
I'm just now getting into trying to do everything in-house.

558
00:40:30,519 --> 00:40:37,039
And then, unfortunately, excuse me, a year ago on the 2nd, February 2nd,

559
00:40:37,079 --> 00:40:39,559
2023, my mom passed away.

560
00:40:40,059 --> 00:40:44,759
And my wife and one of my older brothers actually found her.

561
00:40:44,759 --> 00:40:50,279
So over the second course of the year and a half,

562
00:40:50,539 --> 00:40:55,139
a lot of it was spent being under the influence, drinking every night,

563
00:40:55,299 --> 00:41:03,999
smoking, and just doing something to feel anything other than depression and despair of, damn,

564
00:41:04,359 --> 00:41:05,979
I really don't want to do this anymore. more.

565
00:41:06,019 --> 00:41:10,979
But then at the same time, I also know my mom, before she passed away,

566
00:41:11,119 --> 00:41:15,379
she was actually one of my biggest fans because everything that I made,

567
00:41:15,519 --> 00:41:19,679
every song, everything, she's like, okay, I see what you did there.

568
00:41:19,919 --> 00:41:22,839
And she would critique me. She would give me the notes like,

569
00:41:22,919 --> 00:41:25,019
hey, listen, I understand what you're trying to do.

570
00:41:25,099 --> 00:41:29,819
And it sounds good, but baby, I don't think you could get that on the radio.

571
00:41:30,319 --> 00:41:34,939
Baby, I don't think anyone's going to listen to that because you're you're doing this, right?

572
00:41:35,079 --> 00:41:42,579
So the whole gist of the project is really a journey.

573
00:41:43,039 --> 00:41:47,299
It's a journey through someone's mental health.

574
00:41:47,499 --> 00:41:54,419
It's a day in the life of someone who's trying to make it and also juggle their

575
00:41:54,419 --> 00:41:59,319
feelings, their thoughts, their emotions, just on an everyday level.

576
00:42:00,620 --> 00:42:07,220
My goal with the music that I make and with everything that I do is I want people

577
00:42:07,220 --> 00:42:09,400
to resonate with what I'm talking about.

578
00:42:09,580 --> 00:42:14,620
I grew up in a house. I grew up being a person that felt like he never had a voice.

579
00:42:14,780 --> 00:42:20,600
He never really had a say in what happened to him or what happened with the stuff that he did.

580
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:26,360
So now that I don't have those limitations anymore, now that I don't have anything

581
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:33,520
or anyone necessarily holding me back, I can't help but write about what I think.

582
00:42:33,580 --> 00:42:38,640
I can't help but write about what I feel and hope that somebody somewhere listens to it.

583
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:41,420
And you know even if they

584
00:42:41,420 --> 00:42:45,020
even if i'm not someone's favorite artist they understand

585
00:42:45,020 --> 00:42:48,280
where i'm coming from they understand what i feel they

586
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:50,980
understand what i think and they agree like damn man

587
00:42:50,980 --> 00:42:55,340
you know sometimes i do feel like that too and i'm glad that you're confident

588
00:42:55,340 --> 00:43:02,240
enough and have enough courage to put a song or put a a project out and be as

589
00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:08,460
vulnerable about it as you are and hands down Now, in the 14 years I've been doing this,

590
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:12,080
underground heart is the most vulnerable I've ever been.

591
00:43:12,180 --> 00:43:17,660
I'm usually the kind of person who clams up a lot and doesn't really speak to.

592
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:22,620
You know, the things that I feel or the things that I think about because I'm

593
00:43:22,620 --> 00:43:24,480
afraid of being judged by people.

594
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:31,360
But then that's also why I take the position of not judging anyone and not,

595
00:43:31,420 --> 00:43:34,960
you know, putting people through the things that I'm afraid of,

596
00:43:34,980 --> 00:43:37,780
because I don't want that to happen to me.

597
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:42,940
I want even if you don't listen to the whole project, even if you don't care about what I'm doing,

598
00:43:43,020 --> 00:43:47,700
the fact that you took time out of your day to listen to a couple of songs on

599
00:43:47,700 --> 00:43:54,280
it is enough for me, you know, and coming from a place of not being able to speak.

600
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:59,860
Not being able to say anything, not being able to have a say in a thing.

601
00:44:00,580 --> 00:44:04,820
It's kind of why I made this. You know what I mean? It's, it's showing people

602
00:44:04,820 --> 00:44:10,160
that it is okay to not be okay with the things that have happened to you.

603
00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:13,940
As long as you do it in a way that,

604
00:44:13,940 --> 00:44:18,280
you know, you're addressing your traumas, you're addressing everything that's

605
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:22,700
happened to you in a healthy manner so that you You can move forward so that

606
00:44:22,700 --> 00:44:25,600
you can be better if you want to be.

607
00:44:25,940 --> 00:44:29,600
I really connected with that and I'm excited to listen.

608
00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:38,740
I sort of I I follow you on Spotify, so I should have, you know, I'll be. No, it's OK.

609
00:44:40,020 --> 00:44:45,240
No, the beautiful part about, you know, telling people my side of the story

610
00:44:45,240 --> 00:44:47,140
before they go listen to the music.

611
00:44:47,140 --> 00:44:53,180
I find that once you hear it from me and then you go listen to the music,

612
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:58,020
it makes it connect that much more.

613
00:44:59,017 --> 00:45:01,337
But it's okay if it's the other way around, you know what I mean?

614
00:45:01,357 --> 00:45:03,977
You hear the music first and then you get the explanation afterwards.

615
00:45:04,877 --> 00:45:12,657
Again, my whole goal, at least with Underground Heart, is just to have it resonate with somebody.

616
00:45:13,217 --> 00:45:17,697
I don't care if you're just driving along somewhere and it comes on and you're

617
00:45:17,697 --> 00:45:24,777
just vibing to it, or you're in your feels and fuck it, you know what I mean? This is what's going on.

618
00:45:24,937 --> 00:45:29,257
And he's saying exactly what I feel in this moment. That's great.

619
00:45:29,677 --> 00:45:33,417
I'm glad that I can give you something that you relate to. I'm glad that you

620
00:45:33,417 --> 00:45:39,497
have something or you feel enough about to feel like you're not alone in what

621
00:45:39,497 --> 00:45:41,757
you feel because honest to God, you know, for,

622
00:45:41,937 --> 00:45:45,897
for the year and a half that it took me to, to make this album,

623
00:45:46,437 --> 00:45:51,217
when I admittedly, when I tell you the feelings of depression,

624
00:45:51,457 --> 00:45:58,437
the feelings of despair, bear, all of the pressure that it took to get through this album.

625
00:45:59,217 --> 00:46:02,797
There were several times where I wanted to quit music as a whole.

626
00:46:03,317 --> 00:46:09,157
And I had to keep thinking, I had to keep pushing through, what would my family think if I gave up?

627
00:46:09,257 --> 00:46:12,837
What would my mom think if I gave up? What would my dad think if I gave up?

628
00:46:13,297 --> 00:46:17,317
If I give up now, I'm giving up on everything I've worked for,

629
00:46:17,317 --> 00:46:20,957
everything I've worked up to up to this point and

630
00:46:20,957 --> 00:46:23,697
do I really want to be known as a I've already dropped out of

631
00:46:23,697 --> 00:46:26,497
college twice like let's just put let's just call a spade

632
00:46:26,497 --> 00:46:29,377
a spade if I quit on music the one thing

633
00:46:29,377 --> 00:46:32,377
that I've had literally all my life at that

634
00:46:32,377 --> 00:46:35,157
point I'm not anything I can't be anything I don't deserve

635
00:46:35,157 --> 00:46:38,277
it I'm a quitter and I refuse at this

636
00:46:38,277 --> 00:46:41,257
point to be a quitter when

637
00:46:41,257 --> 00:46:44,857
it comes to explaining and expounding on what

638
00:46:44,857 --> 00:46:51,217
I feel on what I think and spreading the message of it's okay to not be okay

639
00:46:51,217 --> 00:46:58,457
it's fine to be fucked up because a lot of us are but a lot of us are afraid

640
00:46:58,457 --> 00:47:02,097
of being judged and a lot of us are afraid of what other people are gonna think

641
00:47:02,097 --> 00:47:04,817
because of how fucked up we got.

642
00:47:05,949 --> 00:47:10,729
And I want to be the catalyst for those artists, those people,

643
00:47:10,869 --> 00:47:13,869
those whatever, you know, they identify themselves as.

644
00:47:13,889 --> 00:47:19,729
I want to be the person that you look to and get the inspiration of.

645
00:47:20,089 --> 00:47:25,169
It's OK to not have it all together. I didn't have it all together for a year and a fucking half.

646
00:47:25,349 --> 00:47:28,149
And then before that, my father died in 2010.

647
00:47:28,389 --> 00:47:30,589
I didn't have it together for eight whole years. years.

648
00:47:30,989 --> 00:47:37,089
So as far as I'm concerned, music be damned, you know, career aside,

649
00:47:37,249 --> 00:47:40,389
it is okay to be messed up.

650
00:47:40,449 --> 00:47:43,729
It is okay to not have everything together.

651
00:47:44,129 --> 00:47:50,069
It's okay to not have everything figured out as long as you're trying to figure it out.

652
00:47:50,229 --> 00:47:52,869
If you've just given up, that's not okay.

653
00:47:53,189 --> 00:47:59,929
If you're trying and you're trying your damnedest, that's all I need from you.

654
00:48:00,349 --> 00:48:03,289
I just need to know that you're trying because then at that point,

655
00:48:03,329 --> 00:48:05,129
I will support you with whatever you need.

656
00:48:05,289 --> 00:48:10,049
I will give you whatever you need. I will make the time. I will be there. I will answer the phone.

657
00:48:10,229 --> 00:48:12,349
I will answer a text, an email, whatever.

658
00:48:12,629 --> 00:48:18,749
And I will make sure that you don't feel as alone as I do or as I did when I was making this album.

659
00:48:19,289 --> 00:48:23,249
That was so powerful. And it kind

660
00:48:23,249 --> 00:48:26,729
of goes along with my last question that I

661
00:48:26,729 --> 00:48:29,529
find very important that you talked a little bit on

662
00:48:29,529 --> 00:48:33,609
the live last night and that is why

663
00:48:33,609 --> 00:48:37,009
did you make this album and

664
00:48:37,009 --> 00:48:42,829
what is it for you or is it for your fans i know you want to inspire your fans

665
00:48:42,829 --> 00:48:47,069
you want to you know you're talking about you want people to listen and be you

666
00:48:47,069 --> 00:48:52,029
know uplifted and relate to your message but it was also a healing thing for

667
00:48:52,029 --> 00:48:56,929
you what would you say is the number one purpose of the album.

668
00:48:57,578 --> 00:49:02,338
Creating your album and why you want it to be the best it could possibly be?

669
00:49:02,698 --> 00:49:09,258
In all totality, everything that I put my hands on when it comes to music,

670
00:49:09,338 --> 00:49:17,678
it has to be the absolute best that it can be for the simple purpose of it being

671
00:49:17,678 --> 00:49:19,338
the best that it could possibly be.

672
00:49:19,518 --> 00:49:27,118
I need to exhaust every and all resources that I have at my disposal for making

673
00:49:27,118 --> 00:49:30,798
music because I don't want to stagnate.

674
00:49:30,818 --> 00:49:34,458
I don't want to just kind of bottom out.

675
00:49:34,518 --> 00:49:37,578
I don't want to peak. I have to get better, right?

676
00:49:38,118 --> 00:49:41,338
For making this album for the fans.

677
00:49:42,018 --> 00:49:45,518
When I make music, I have to remind myself a lot.

678
00:49:45,898 --> 00:49:49,198
And actually my wife said it best when I was making the album,

679
00:49:49,298 --> 00:49:51,818
because for a while there, like I said, I was under the influence.

680
00:49:51,998 --> 00:49:58,878
For a while there, it really did sound like the songs were, you know, just a pity party.

681
00:49:59,578 --> 00:50:04,298
She told me, listen to me, I love you, but it really sounds like you just want

682
00:50:04,298 --> 00:50:05,558
people to feel sorry for you.

683
00:50:06,538 --> 00:50:10,698
And I don't because of who you are. I'm here, baby.

684
00:50:10,838 --> 00:50:15,778
I know, I see everything that's going on and I don't feel sorry for you because

685
00:50:15,778 --> 00:50:17,598
we, baby, we still got to do shit.

686
00:50:17,718 --> 00:50:20,618
We still have to get up. We still have to go and do this.

687
00:50:20,718 --> 00:50:24,378
We still have to take care of everything and neither one of us have the time

688
00:50:24,378 --> 00:50:30,058
To sit around and mope around and oh, what was me kind of, you know kind of

689
00:50:30,058 --> 00:50:33,758
attitude for From making the album for fans.

690
00:50:34,098 --> 00:50:38,198
I wanted to give them something, you know that It's not.

691
00:50:39,303 --> 00:50:47,163
Too personal, but just personal enough to show them and invite them into,

692
00:50:47,483 --> 00:50:51,143
hey, this is where I've been for the last year and a half.

693
00:50:51,203 --> 00:50:54,783
This is where I've been mentally for the past, I don't know how long.

694
00:50:54,943 --> 00:50:58,983
I want you guys to know where I'm at. I want you to know why I haven't been

695
00:50:58,983 --> 00:51:04,763
doing anything, why everything's been going on the way it has and everything like that.

696
00:51:04,803 --> 00:51:11,123
I don't want to keep you guys in the dark for me it was a healing process when

697
00:51:11,123 --> 00:51:16,183
you know when we finalized the album when we you know sent everything off to

698
00:51:16,183 --> 00:51:19,003
distribution it was a healing process because now.

699
00:51:20,163 --> 00:51:23,183
Okay all of the trauma's gone all of

700
00:51:23,183 --> 00:51:26,623
the everything all of the ends all of the loose ends are tied all

701
00:51:26,623 --> 00:51:29,283
of the everything that we wanted to say everything we wanted to

702
00:51:29,283 --> 00:51:32,463
address everything that I had bottled

703
00:51:32,463 --> 00:51:36,263
up inside of me since my mom's passing or before I got

704
00:51:36,263 --> 00:51:39,883
to say it and no one told me that I couldn't so

705
00:51:39,883 --> 00:51:46,143
for me it's for me it's therapeutic in the sense that I got to say everything

706
00:51:46,143 --> 00:51:51,343
that I wanted to about everything that was going on whether or not people caught

707
00:51:51,343 --> 00:51:55,703
it or you know whether or not people caught it for the fans I wanted to give

708
00:51:55,703 --> 00:51:57,143
them something new because,

709
00:51:57,303 --> 00:52:03,003
you know, before Underground Heart, I had never really done a project, you know, all by myself.

710
00:52:03,183 --> 00:52:07,923
I never really believed in my own ability that I could do it.

711
00:52:08,203 --> 00:52:11,823
So halfway through, it was more like a challenge of, you know,

712
00:52:11,823 --> 00:52:15,663
don't use anybody else's production, make your own, just do it all yourself.

713
00:52:15,883 --> 00:52:18,763
And then once we get through this, we can revisit someone else,

714
00:52:18,903 --> 00:52:22,943
you know, someone else's production, we can revisit someone else's whatever. Right.

715
00:52:23,783 --> 00:52:31,163
That being said, it's for the fans because I want to give them something that they can resonate to.

716
00:52:31,263 --> 00:52:35,463
I want to give them something that they can connect with each other over or

717
00:52:35,463 --> 00:52:39,443
connect with me over because you guys aren't alone.

718
00:52:39,703 --> 00:52:43,963
We're all fucked up in our own ways, and there's nothing to be ashamed of.

719
00:52:44,123 --> 00:52:50,683
For me, it's therapeutic in that me putting this out means that I no longer

720
00:52:50,683 --> 00:52:58,083
have to hold on to it. I can send it off and be a better person now. I can let it go.

721
00:52:59,063 --> 00:53:02,423
For all intents and purposes,

722
00:53:02,763 --> 00:53:09,503
this album, it means the world to me because it's the culmination of 14 years

723
00:53:09,503 --> 00:53:15,343
worth of holding on to feelings and thoughts and emotions that I never got to talk about.

724
00:53:15,343 --> 00:53:20,543
And I never got to be as personal about everything as I wanted to.

725
00:53:20,663 --> 00:53:24,203
It was always like very subliminal message. It was always very,

726
00:53:24,323 --> 00:53:29,163
you know, kind of walking around on eggshells with subjects and with people.

727
00:53:29,523 --> 00:53:33,523
And I finally get to say what I want to say.

728
00:53:34,063 --> 00:53:39,163
And it doesn't really matter to me whether people agree with it or disagree

729
00:53:39,163 --> 00:53:45,303
with it, don't like it, do like it, are indifferent, I get to heal. I get to heal.

730
00:53:45,703 --> 00:53:51,003
And that's the most important thing to me about this album.

731
00:53:51,123 --> 00:53:58,043
I get to heal and hopefully I inspire others to heal from what they've gone through as well.

732
00:53:58,423 --> 00:54:03,983
And I'm so excited that I was able to talk with you before I listened to the

733
00:54:03,983 --> 00:54:10,703
whole album, because listening to what it's about and how much it meant to you,

734
00:54:10,783 --> 00:54:15,703
like that, this idea of feeling silenced for so long, that's,

735
00:54:15,703 --> 00:54:18,603
that's something so many of us can relate to.

736
00:54:18,743 --> 00:54:22,323
So I really, really appreciate you sharing that with me. I know there are a

737
00:54:22,323 --> 00:54:25,643
ton of different places you could be late on a Saturday night.

738
00:54:25,783 --> 00:54:28,943
So I, I appreciate it so much.

739
00:54:28,963 --> 00:54:31,783
And I know this message will relate to a

740
00:54:31,783 --> 00:54:35,223
a lot of my listeners and i'm excited to share it

741
00:54:35,223 --> 00:54:38,183
out and you know share your music

742
00:54:38,183 --> 00:54:41,263
and just your message it

743
00:54:41,263 --> 00:54:47,303
was really really beautiful so thanks again k7 and i if there's any last things

744
00:54:47,303 --> 00:54:51,343
you want to say before we end i'd love to hear them yeah first and foremost

745
00:54:51,343 --> 00:54:56,803
you know just thank you so much for the opportunity you know or for all intents

746
00:54:56,803 --> 00:54:59,123
and purposes just like you said you you know, on your own accord,

747
00:54:59,263 --> 00:55:02,003
so many different things you could have been doing on a Saturday night.

748
00:55:02,083 --> 00:55:06,183
And here you are talking with me. So one, you know, I just, I appreciate the

749
00:55:06,183 --> 00:55:09,083
hell out of you for allowing me to say my piece.

750
00:55:09,623 --> 00:55:13,483
And then for, for all of your listeners and all of my listeners tuning in,

751
00:55:13,563 --> 00:55:20,223
you know, we live in a day and age where it's extremely easy to be acceptable or.

752
00:55:20,984 --> 00:55:26,464
To all of the vices, all of the negative influence that, you know,

753
00:55:26,464 --> 00:55:28,204
that there can be on our lives.

754
00:55:28,404 --> 00:55:34,944
And I want, I want everyone to remember that as long as you like yourself,

755
00:55:35,264 --> 00:55:41,764
as long as you are in a place where you can like yourself, improvement,

756
00:55:42,344 --> 00:55:49,304
you know, betterment, any kind of upgrading, creating adaptability that you

757
00:55:49,304 --> 00:55:51,404
can do for yourself, it is possible.

758
00:55:51,644 --> 00:55:57,564
It does not have to be the end of the road for you. It doesn't have to be the end of the world.

759
00:55:57,944 --> 00:56:03,864
If you want to get better, seek out those who want to get better right with

760
00:56:03,864 --> 00:56:08,704
you so that you can support them and they can support you just off the strength

761
00:56:08,704 --> 00:56:10,984
of everybody needs somebody.

762
00:56:11,644 --> 00:56:18,044
And for everyone everyone under the sound of my voice, I do have just a little

763
00:56:18,044 --> 00:56:20,464
saying that I want to impart on everyone.

764
00:56:20,964 --> 00:56:25,664
If you don't feel loved, if you don't feel anyone cares about you,

765
00:56:25,804 --> 00:56:31,844
if you haven't heard in the last 24 to 48 hours, I love you. I love you.

766
00:56:32,264 --> 00:56:35,024
I love everything about you. I love everything that you do.

767
00:56:35,164 --> 00:56:38,664
I love the fact that you are here at this point. I love the fact that you exist.

768
00:56:38,664 --> 00:56:41,504
You may not know who I am I don't

769
00:56:41,504 --> 00:56:44,104
know who you are but that doesn't stop me from loving you and I

770
00:56:44,104 --> 00:56:46,944
want to make sure that you understand that I do love you

771
00:56:46,944 --> 00:56:49,824
and I don't care if I don't know your name I don't care if I don't

772
00:56:49,824 --> 00:56:53,724
know where you come from or where you're trying to go I love you I will do everything

773
00:56:53,724 --> 00:56:57,624
in my power as a human being on this planet to support you and everything that

774
00:56:57,624 --> 00:57:03,944
you do as long as you continue to try to be better but thank you so much for

775
00:57:03,944 --> 00:57:07,264
having me I really do I do appreciate the time that you've taken out of your

776
00:57:07,264 --> 00:57:09,544
day, out of your life to let me speak.

777
00:57:09,984 --> 00:57:14,224
And I couldn't be more grateful for the opportunity. So thank you so much.

778
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:24,706
Music.