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We relate to each other in very odd ways within our community. Today we sit down with Mike DePalma to discuss how our methods of communication can be both healthy and unhealthy. How far to go before you push someone over the edge. Is Busting Balls a right of passage or a marker of toxic masculinity? This episode will be fun but cover a serious topic where Suffering plays a hand on how we communicate with one another.
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This is gonna hurt. It's time for the suffering podcast. How we speak with one another says a lot about our relationships. interactions may seem harsh to an outsider that does not understand the nature of our communication process. When there is a close friendship, or deep love, sensitivity can often be overlooked. being insensitive with someone whom you do not like breeds aggression. Conversely, a vocabulary filled with harsh words towards another human being that we care about can only come from a place of love and understanding. It is often easier to convey our feelings to another person in jokes, teasing and inappropriate words than it is to just come out and say, I love you. Look past the words and focus on the intention. toughening another skin often comes with a softness of hearts I'm Kevin Donaldson here with Mike Felice and on this episode of the suffering podcast we welcome back the hurricane himself
Mike DePalma:I'm excited thank you because
Kevin Donaldson:you're becoming like a regular I don't know if that's a good thing
Mike DePalma:it's my life that messed up I don't know you're like You're like our wack but I just want to let you know this is like we are wack pack of wolves is a little drizzle. I'm a little drizzle now.
Kevin Donaldson:Oh, we almost got full hurricane.
Mike DePalma:Please don't bring them out.
Mike Failace:We're gonna try to it's gonna come out tonight.
Mike DePalma:I've worked so hard.
Kevin Donaldson:There is nobody in this world better suited to talk about our subject tonight. And that's the suffering of busting balls. Then we're going to try to just emit the hurricane out of you. Before we get into it. I want to thank our marquee sponsor that story of Hackensack. We buy our cars from there because we trust her out of Hackensack. So go to Toyota hackensack.com Let them find you a car. Now. Where do we even start? It took a long time to even get going today because everybody's giggling and laughing and we're getting a Hoboken five year old Jack.
Mike Failace:We gave drew a bunch of outtake stuff already before we even saw oh, gosh,
Kevin Donaldson:I have a master plan going on here. So of course we get into social media question. Okay, this week social media question comes from Mark. And what's the maddest you've ever gotten it one of your friends? Mike, you want to take this one? First? You want to pass it off to the other mic first?
Mike Failace:No, I want to go dirt.
Kevin Donaldson:You want to go dirt? I want to go
Mike DePalma:just wait to another one person comes on and we're gonna have a little bit of a battle. You ain't coming in. To get people I have to translate. I'm good with that.
Kevin Donaldson:Being in the little circle in the corner doing this?
Mike DePalma:I would have to say an ex family member? Yeah. Got me extremely, extremely extreme. And assuming you were you were close with him Friend. Friend close. Yes. Very, very friendly. Very, very close and very, very angry. I don't want to really discuss any more of it. But
Kevin Donaldson:was it physical angry?
Mike DePalma:It was Yeah.
Kevin Donaldson:You know, that's the worst. That's the worst type. Because once you start throwing punches, then it's hard to take those back can't unring that bell? Yeah, I agree. I agree. So if you want to go dirt, I'll go second. And actually, this one, I grabbed this one for a very particular reason, because it was you up and we had our thing. Okay, so we we had gotten close to Mike and I had gotten close. Oh, Mike and I had a falling out. It was over. It was it was over something stupid. But it was it. It hit me at the wrong time. Like I got, I was in a mood. I really was I was in a mood. And I got so fucking mad at you. Oh my god, I got so mad at you. And it ended up and it's a sad thing because we didn't talk for the longest time. And it sucked. And then, you know, one day I don't I don't know whether you reached out or I reached out. Or you did it.
Unknown:I was the go between man You are a fucking nurse was the guy because the
Mike DePalma:go between like is a fucking I was honestly I wanted to do it, you know, for so long. I think at the time we were both not in great place. Now we were
Mike Failace:we were having an event at Grand saloon. Yeah. And I called Mike and I told him to show up. Right? I told you, I didn't tell you he was gonna show up. You were just I just wanted to show up because I figured once you guys saw each other, bygones be bygones, and you guys would work things out. But the
Kevin Donaldson:nice thing about it is is that and this only comes from a place of love is when we had that first I'll tell you where it was. I was in Home Depot, and I'm on the phone with you and I had to get like, I don't know, picture hanger or whatever it was I had to get and you would start going on like I apologize. Stop. Don't worry about it's done. You know, it was it was that easy for me to let it go. And it wasn't because you called it I just it was I just had enough I had enough of not talking to my friend because it sucked. It really did. You know but that was that was a real tough one for me. So now I want to bring it to the third one.
Mike Failace:And you know, I mean like you said it is tough when someone that you you really care for and you're friends with, you know to hold that grudge for so long. Yeah, that stuff and I know that was weighing on you too. And that's why that's why I wanted Mike to come to that. That event we're gonna have
Kevin Donaldson:Mike and I would talk about it occasionally. And I never like I was always mad about the way that went down. I was just mad about it.
Mike Failace:Yeah, it was mandible bolt to go, we're going through your shit. I was mad about the way I reacted
Kevin Donaldson:to it, in all honesty, and and I just really felt bad about the way that it all went down. And I said, You know what, I'm just I'm not mad at the guy. I'm not. I just I don't know how that repent, you don't know how to repair those things. When you get mad at a friend, somebody you consider a really dear friend. It's hard to repair that. So
Mike Failace:we're all alpha males though because you're not you weren't gonna call him and say you were wrong. And he wasn't gonna call you and say you he was wrong. True. So you needed you needed to go between and I just happened to be that that guy.
Mike DePalma:You know what, though more and more as as a middle? Exactly. My life goes on you. I'm becoming more and more open to it. Like, you're right. I don't want to hold grudges anymore. I don't I don't want to battle anymore. 56
Mike Failace:years old man, I don't have much time left on this earth.
Mike DePalma:Today, and yesterday, I'm so tired.
Kevin Donaldson:I will. So a friend of mine after after we reconciled. A friend of mine from high school who I was really mad at. Like my, my father and brother worked at a place and they got him a job. And he ended up stealing a bunch of shit, like a bunch of shit. And I found this stuff out. And that was it. Like, I saw him at a football game once and I followed him because I was gonna kick the shit out of him. But that was 30 years ago, like literally 30 years ago. And he just reached out to me on Facebook or Instagram one of those two. And he's like, you know, this is this is so and so I'm really sorry about the way things went down. I shouldn't have done it. I turned out he's a cop to
Mike Failace:go figure cops now. Yeah, he's down in Florida. It's like in the academy taking take an Mo Yeah, right. That's,
Kevin Donaldson:that's the Hoboken. So he reached he reaches out to me on social media. And he says if you if you don't accept my friend requests, I'll understand that you don't want to. You don't want to do anything. And I said, You know what? I just like, I accepted his friend request. I'm like, It's okay. Don't worry about it.
Mike DePalma:I don't see it meant a lot to me. When we spoke. I was like, Yeah,
Mike Failace:I think it was a relief for the three of us. And
Mike DePalma:it was like, I came back. I was like, Okay, it's all right. Because I live with it with the Boston balls. And I you know, I look just a little bit.
Kevin Donaldson:Oh, no, it's going for tonight.
Mike Failace:You don't like I said, I mean, I talked to you every day. And when you and Mike had fallen out, I was talking to Mike, every once awhile on the side, you know, and you're cheating on me? Pretty much. Okay. Mike was my side piece. And, you know, it just it was it was bothering me that you guys weren't getting along? Because we had such a tight friendship in the beginning. I mean, we did a lot of work together and beginning with Denton development project. I mean, we were talking every day about that. And Mike was instrumental in getting dented development project started.
Mike DePalma:It's essential, by the way, no, no. Believe it or not, I mean, you brought me back as well, by doing that again, you know, it's, it's things that obviously, you both know, you go through tough times, and, you know, the clip that you put on the other day about the beast, if that's so true. Yeah, it's an it's so hard to control. And people don't realize that, that, like, it's that difficult, it's more difficult to get through something like that, than anything else. And
Mike Failace:you never know, when a beast is gonna rear its ugly head, you know, and sometimes it just comes up. And I think I think the beast reared itself is with you guys all at one time. At the end, it just came to a head and you had no outlet, but to take it out on each other. Probably I
Mike DePalma:was like, and I know, I'm always one, two or three days late. I'm like, Damn, you know, it's like, all the times I went like this and
Mike Failace:you need an unsent phone, you know,
Mike DePalma:you know, like, people were telling me Listen, because I'm not you know, I'm, I'm getting better with all this technology. You know, there's an app where you can shut the phone off. And I'm like, please, like, just, you know, like, do it shut me off?
Kevin Donaldson:Well, you need a release. And that's what it is, like, you know, in order to I gotta send it to Mike, he needs to check it and then send it over. That's what that's what it is. Like, what do you think?
Mike Failace:You know, again, I think I'm gonna say it's with a family member, who's primarily recent, and I almost feel bad about it. Everybody knows the reason, domestic issues I just went through, not domestic violence, you know, recently went through a divorce and a lot of people have turned it back on me and they don't know the real story. And one guy who was a very good friend of mine I saw him a couple of weeks ago, and he he wanted to give me a challenge coin. And I told him, I didn't want it and I put in my pocket and was like burning a hole in my book. I'm like, you know, I just couldn't put it up here. I was gonna do and I went back to his house. I put it in his mailbox and he texted me said, you turn your back on me. I said, I'll never fucking take anything real again.
Kevin Donaldson:Do you think that'll ever change
Mike Failace:it unless I talk to him? You know, it's kind of hard to rebuild that bridge right now. But I'd love to know, like you said he was one of my good friends and it just it really fucking aggravated the shit out of me. And I just, you know, I had one of those moments I the beast came out,
Mike DePalma:you know, it's we spoke about two weeks ago and I was early in the morning, you know? Oh, he was he was on fire. Yeah, my eyes. I had my ears were hanging out the door like the window lip was lit was all over the the lip was driving the steering wheel. I'm like, he sees
Kevin Donaldson:it. I got to him on my fam. Like
Mike DePalma:I said, you know, this, this and this. And it's right. I'm like, he puts something in perspective that when going through all those hard times, and you're drowning, you're taking people with you and drowning them as well. And I'm like, it was so so the what? It's frustrating because when you fight so hard, you know, people don't realize the fight. The thought
Kevin Donaldson:process behind that is, is when you're drowning, somebody will try to save you. But if you know anything about like, Have you ever spoken to a lifeguard one of the biggest dangers for a lifeguard is getting drowned by somebody who they're trying to save? Yeah, so that's in relationship to somebody say like you I remember you were talking about with people turning their back on you and stuff like this, friends of yours. But I said, Mike, you got to understand something, you were drowning, and they did try to save you, but they can't drown themselves to take care of you.
Mike DePalma:Right? I get it. You know, it is frustrating. Like, you know, you get through all that. And you know, I'm in such a great place and it's like, oh, wait, I'm not Yeah, I went to war. It changed me a little bit, but I'm still that guy.
Mike Failace:Yeah, but you don't you know, and not keep going back to the beast. But you take like 20 steps forward, and you're doing good. No sudden you take two steps back and you feel like you're in that fucking hole again. Right? Right. All right. You know, you have that one minor setback when a fucking beast rears its ugly head. And you feel like fuck why do you want how do you put it back
Mike DePalma:in the cage? And you know what? And even once that once that set in stone about what you do like even going through what I'm going through right now what what you know, custody sofa and so on. My My word my intake. So it doesn't make a difference. Now I can hit the send button. And it's just misperceived. Or it's taken one way it's taken. Well, I was like real close if that's practice. Yeah. I was like, yeah, exactly. So
Mike Failace:we have the saying on the show. It's you can't do you can't undo Mickey Mouse.
Mike DePalma:I listen to me. I was that close today. I was I was that close today with Minnie Mouse actually happened in a jeep right so one of the one of the I was so upset and one of the best ways
Kevin Donaldson:that Mike and I broke your balls and we're here to talk about the suffering of breaking balls because it's it's a break this so it's not all fun, but we showed up at the Hackensack brewing event. When we put your Mickey Mouse ears. Yeah.
Mike DePalma:And I tell you right now,
Kevin Donaldson:it's like your girlfriend at that time. Like I didn't know how it landed cuz I saw the look on your face. Shit. We're gonna
Mike Failace:put him like Mickey Mouse.
Mike DePalma:That it was it was it was my fate. Like I
Kevin Donaldson:remember the girl you were dating at the time didn't really care for that
Mike DePalma:water Mickey Mouse? Because he didn't get it? Well, I think it was she knew the impact the real impact of what it did to me, you know, like it that that buried me it didn't. It didn't depict like the most frustrating thing. It didn't depict the good father I am and you know what I mean? I'm still but do
Kevin Donaldson:you understand why we did that? It was sort of defuse the situation. And
Mike DePalma:that's Yeah, but you know that that segues into
Kevin Donaldson:segues him look at him with a fancy word he had
Mike DePalma:me he had a segue
Mike Failace:to Soros this morning on the way up.
Mike DePalma:I do this now instead. How's my day gonna be?
Mike Failace:Siri alright, you don't have debt? That does segue.
Kevin Donaldson:That's a big word.
Mike Failace:I know. into one of the questions we have in the list. When does humor go too far? Did we take it too far that well? Or we could have taken it too far? Mike didn't actually know so
Kevin Donaldson:there was some credence to that because we might we may have taken it too far. No, we don't we did not No, no, no, no something else on something new. Like we Mike and I developed an app you know on on don't that we developed an app. Okay, and I gotta show you now so you know how everybody's big into social media and changing your picture doing filters make your face look better and some of them make your face look old or something so Mike and I Mike and I developed an app and a jury you got that you got that? We did it one time we did it one time just on all three. See if we could the only one we didn't change is you is the only face we didn't change his you
Mike DePalma:that's not even normal. Listen after the 90s That's gotta go down. Really? totally sure so we do two guys look great. So Mike looks like banjos
Mike Failace:like and Kevin have a smile on my face. Like Kevin's like the grumpy old fat guy ate somebody smiling. I did I
Mike DePalma:eat Mickey Mouse? Did I show on his on?
Kevin Donaldson:I think this app is way I'm working on it. This is called the De Palma filter. Okay, it's actually a cool thing. So I actually, I filtered the Palma on Mike and I and I just left you.
Mike DePalma:There's no that's not even
Mike Failace:close your chin here like you do.
Mike DePalma:Now look at that.
Kevin Donaldson:It looks like your store nuts for the winter. You always have to do that.
Mike DePalma:It's got to be I'm telling you. It's heredity. We discussed that on the side. Last time. I was telling him I just understand I'm working on it.
Mike Failace:appetites hereditary,
Mike DePalma:can you like, like, do that thing have something on them? Do you could do like a filter thing?
Kevin Donaldson:Here, what do you think this is? Canva.
Mike Failace:Could you do the filter thing to do the filter thing, the filter thing? Given the fish but you know picked up the thing. So
Kevin Donaldson:this is how to this is how we take that. Now, let's stand up the whole show. You just made the dolt list.
Mike Failace:Maybe we'll put some of these books in front of it. These these are called books. Yeah, they are things you read words and letters. One way the one in the front has you know, we'll give you crayons, if you want.
Kevin Donaldson:Yeah, it's a coloring book gets kids coloring book. They'll put that in for you, especially for you. So but we we this is how we associate with each other. This is how we associate with each other. We show each other we care by breaking each other's balls until one of us breaks. Pretty much they'll say well, I can stop it.
Mike DePalma:But we all have that mutual respect and understand. You know, it's funny like Pat Pat Elwood, we're going back and forth. He goes, Man, he goes, you get it? You know, stuff like that. It doesn't bother me. You know what I mean? Listen, it is what it is. I'm content. Um, you know, but
Kevin Donaldson:it's amazing that you you can handle the ball busting the way you do, because I know some mutual friends. And never I
Mike DePalma:can dish it out though. Yeah, I know this. Should I like the best. But the minute
Kevin Donaldson:somebody comes at you serious, that's when you fall. Like if if lawyers were to bust your balls constantly. I think you'd do much better in court. Seriously,
Mike Failace:what's it? I mean? That's a conversation we have. I mean, that's a conversation we had before, you know, I could call Mike a jerk off, you know, and we just laugh about it. You're in a bar and someone calls Mike a jerk off me and you're going after the fight is gonna get to know friends like that joke about it, but someone else chimes in,
Kevin Donaldson:but what do you think that comes from? Like, is that something that you think we learned in childhood how to associate with one another? Because we we used to do things with say stuff about our mothers, you know, they used to call it the dozens Right? Right.
Mike DePalma:That was a known thing like your your mother's mother jokes. Yeah, I mean, I don't your mother's
Kevin Donaldson:back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs your
Mike Failace:mother was so short, choose play handball
Mike DePalma:chirps like a pack
Kevin Donaldson:the more you say that he's going to be defined
Mike DePalma:keep it up. If you want to keep it up, you're probably not gonna make it out of here.
Kevin Donaldson:At some point, you gotta leave.
Mike DePalma:We were friends. But I
Kevin Donaldson:remember some of the shit that we used and you know, it was different grown up because you know, we were all have different cultural backgrounds and stuff. And you know, it was it was Italian kids were the guineas and Irish kids were the mix and the German kids were the crowds and so forth and so on. But, you know, we could call each other that but you don't call anybody that? I sure was
Mike DePalma:good. Um, so I don't know, maybe maybe I started thinking differently in life. I think people, people built differently. People perceive things differently people it's it's so out of control. And I'm just Well the lack of height of it. The lack of
Kevin Donaldson:busting balls has given people such thin skin that they can't handle this shit anymore. But
Mike Failace:the other thing is to political correctness that's going on in society now. Fucking everything killing comedy. It's killing calm. I mean,
Kevin Donaldson:like we're fat shaming here. Just so you know. We that's exactly what we're doing. Yeah, though. What the hell is that? It was
Mike DePalma:the lighting in here. It wasn't like catching it.
Mike Failace:That's. That's fourth fourth chin shaming.
Mike DePalma:But look at that. Like we don't need to discuss anything right so you got a chin and if you don't get that down, this is gonna be a big problem. Because I got a lot of Mickey Mouse dolls and goofy dolls.
Mike Failace:But Mike, you know you
Mike DePalma:you're the best. I love you.
Mike Failace:But Mike You know, I mean you are thinning on the top of your head like
Mike DePalma:I am. Do you see? Do you see my biceps today? I know. I'm wearing a big shirt. You
Kevin Donaldson:know the funny thing is that guy, do you understand how bad that is a guy that's got no hair just busted your butt. That's
Mike DePalma:what that is. It's called
Kevin Donaldson:deflection hip. Democracy hypocrisy.
Mike DePalma:psychologic. You want to hear how crazy you're talking right now. I was getting ready for that. That other episode, I was researching psychological deflection. And then it's hypocrisy. I'm just honestly, I'm so fucking tired of people. I'm so tired. Like, these are the people like, you know what? You know, Mike is drinking heavily right now. And they're doing this. They're doing this in a shooting up like this and pop up like rarely come on, like insipid. They're trying to get the rise out of you know, but it's not like it's right. It's not no logical deflection to flex. Yeah.
Kevin Donaldson:Hashtag psychological deflection you want me to show you?
Mike DePalma:I got abs to hash.
Mike Failace:Kevin what the psychological?
Mike DePalma:Listen, I did find that Mickey Mouse syndrome disorder. That is insane. That was a that was a real, real bad day. But I'm being straight, you know, not to get off the topic. But it's so it's getting so ridiculous that it's, it's. So it's hard to even deal with. But it's
Kevin Donaldson:a good point. So tell me why you think that this group of people bothers you so much. But we just showed a very unflattering picture of you, and sat here and talked to you about how you're losing your hair. And yet, and how you're losing your hair,
Mike Failace:just just in case you missed all that stuff. Just like that.
Kevin Donaldson:But that doesn't bother you.
Mike DePalma:It doesn't because there's a we have a mutual respect. We have a mutual friendship, we have a mutual background we have
Kevin Donaldson:because here's the thing, you know, it's not being done, right? I
Mike DePalma:don't, right. I don't care. Honestly, I wouldn't even care if it was done. You know what I mean? I'm not that type anymore. I'm not, you know, and I know
Mike Failace:it, there's no devastations about it. Right? You know, we're not going after each other. Like you said that that psychological font
Mike DePalma:of his boobs? Might be No, no, it's not even the psychological
Mike Failace:deflection, or whatever you were calling it before. You know, I call it throwing a scent. You know, if someone feels bad about themselves, or they have some some kind of insecurity about themselves, and you have almost the same insecurity, they're going to start picking on you because of that and see, like, if a guy's overweight, and he sees another guy who's overweight, he's gonna start saying, well, that's a bully syndrome. Exactly. That's a bully. So it's throwing a scent. They're trying to throw the scent off themselves and put the scent on someone else. So
Kevin Donaldson:but there's, there's another way to that too, because I see this with kids on on young kids. I coach on a football team, where you have a kid that's a little heavier, and he'll start making fun of himself. And what he's trying to do is he's trying to disarm, he's trying to take away your power. Your he knows he's gonna get his balls busted. He doesn't like it. So what he does is, he starts making fun of himself. So you can't, right. Right? And it's it's sad because I actually went up to the kid I said, Don't you ever do that again? I better never hear you doing that again. Because you are not you know what you want to be? You want to be heavy for the rest of your life that's on you.
Mike Failace:But it could all be disarming the bully? Yeah, that's exactly no because if you're gonna break my balls for, for being bald, and I keep making bold jokes about myself, then your jokes aren't gonna be that funny. And it's like well, isn't it not gonna bother eight mile
Mike DePalma:he did that? You know when he was on on stage? He laid it out like he said everything about himself. You don't
Kevin Donaldson:look like an eight mile type of guy. No.
Mike DePalma:i What do you mean? Like I like movies? Like you never saw a mile? No, I never saw him.
Mike Failace:I never ran a miles.
Mike DePalma:Who did me? You never did? Okay. I went to war. I ran okay,
Kevin Donaldson:you went to war in Iran we're not fighting a war with
Mike DePalma:Iran Iraq Syria. A movie Ayatollah Khomeini he was he was having like a battle and he he just let it out all right, I am this I am that
Kevin Donaldson:is no different than having streetdance fighting except with words that just like break in wanting to
Mike DePalma:use don't appreciate us really don't um it's
Kevin Donaldson:like breaking wanting to street battle it's just a point but don't fight let's wrap it out.
Mike DePalma:No, it wasn't about that see? This is the big I tell people this is the you don't you're not getting the bigger picture
Mike Failace:like we are not on your intellectual level that's cool. Do you have to explain stuff to you could not be because very different well that was
Kevin Donaldson:just like there's anybody on the planet that's on your mental psychological level did everybody
Mike DePalma:on the I hear you to
Mike Failace:drive damage drive through Hoboken one time you'll see a bunch of fucking department elected levels it's funny guy.
Kevin Donaldson:I get personal we got too many friends you know
Mike DePalma:what though? Listen, did yeah, they would understand this they wouldn't get upset you know like it's someone would say Oh man you guys like you know I don't know we had a conversation somebody said hey, you know you rough on like If I were cool, I'm cool. I
Kevin Donaldson:don't know, you know, So believe it or not, you know, Mike, I'm gonna let this out because my my wife actually said something like, Wow, you guys are really rough on she watched the sound body sound mind. You guys you guys kind of rough on Mike I'm like, slow down slow your roll. Okay number one Mike's our friend number two. Mike is playing Mike to the nth degree Yeah,
Mike DePalma:I can't listen. I can I can. That's where the smartness comes in. I might have hadn't been up here but I can pretty much sit in here I could survive Believe me I could survive anyone smart. Not like
Kevin Donaldson:everybody says I was your older brother Mike
Mike Failace:is stupid as my face looks.
Kevin Donaldson:So why do you what do you think this like? Especially as kids, what do you think the psychology is behind it? Even as adults? The psychology behind breaking each other's balls, putting in you think? Maybe, maybe it's just nothing but laughter who likes to go out and, and hang out with their friends and just sit there?
Mike Failace:Nobody wants to go out and have a bad time. Right? You know, and laughter is one of the best one of the best times you can have.
Kevin Donaldson:And it usually happens in a bar setting or around some sort of imbibing substance. Yeah. Usually, because no great story ever started with Hey, I just one time I had this salad. You know,
Mike Failace:I went out and had these three sodas the other day. Yeah, exactly.
Kevin Donaldson:It's like we got went out drinking and next thing we know. Diplomas underwears getting hauled up a flagpole.
Mike Failace:You were there, that wouldn't never happen.
Kevin Donaldson:Because you don't wear underwear. No, I'd
Mike DePalma:probably not be a good outcome. Somebody else that did that. skid marks that I would definitely get myself into.
Kevin Donaldson:But like, psychologically, I think it's, it's a, it's more of a way of going out and having a good time. It's how we relate to each other. It's how from a very early age, we were taught to relate to each other, your father, your father, bust your balls, about like stupid stuff. You know, when you when you hit puberty and something or you had your first girlfriend, you know, that's that's how fathers, you know. But again, it's a tool you teach when people around you, they're like, give it back to me give it back to me. I used to do this with young cops. I used to do with young cops coming out of the academy where I used to sit there and break their balls incessantly until they broke my balls back. incessantly, yes, it's big word, but you know what to listen, because I wanted them.
Mike DePalma:Right? If you're coming into that world, that environment that, you know, workplace, you have to have thick skin. Well, it was a norm that was a norm.
Mike Failace:How we we could relate it to law enforcement aspect. I mean, we break balls in law enforcement constantly. The best was when we had new recruits go into the academy, they were always assigned to car to take to the academy. pepper spray, the midnight shift, did nothing but fuck with that car, we we take a five gallon bucket and pour it on a driver seat. So the seat was so he get in and the next morning to go up to the academy his uniform. So we put powder in the vents oh my god and turn turn it on to high. As soon as you went in and started out the car, he'd get. Oh,
Kevin Donaldson:we should do to pepper, pepper spray pepper spray into an event or just on the floor, in the hallway. Because if you put it on the floor, they're just gonna cough. They're gonna cough and not figure out why it can't figure out why I keep coughing. So, I mean, but it was it was my it was my way of toughening the younger guys up because they're gonna they're gonna see worse on the street
Mike Failace:and almost accepted them into our
Mike DePalma:business. But you know what, though, some people took it to another level.
Kevin Donaldson:Believe me, and you know what, how far is too far? That's that's the point
Mike DePalma:a great, you know, I get it, but now it's much different now. It's, you know, what, I, I feel offended or I you know, now it's like, alright, you know, too bad, you know, now now there's consequences not that it wasn't back then. But
Kevin Donaldson:there was somebody in one of the departments and I won't say the department but sued the Department because they said all the doorknobs look like boobs, I swear to God,
Mike DePalma:I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't doubt it.
Mike Failace:I wouldn't get not in this day and age.
Kevin Donaldson:I mean, that's crazy. That's crazy. And on the reverse of that there was a female officer was slapping a male officers ass you know, just because she was trying to be one of the guys which doesn't never works. And one of the guys did say something. He says Hey, can't do that and nothing ever happened to her. Which is kind of a double standard. Because reverse the situation that guy would have been fired. Right? Right. So you know it's okay to bust balls but there are there is times where people take it way too far. People take away too far. It's you got to know the person you're breaking balls with like you got it. I can't go rent stranger on the street and say hey, fat I'm
Mike Failace:looking for something to send to you drew. Leave me alone.
Kevin Donaldson:Let's say you want only middle pockets you told drew I had a pitcher for But do you think do you carry on?
Mike Failace:I'm listening, carry who's carrying
Mike DePalma:spent or not? This is like, shut up. But
Mike Failace:would I do that too? Yeah.
Kevin Donaldson:Do you think breaking balls is the same between men and women? Absolutely not. How do you think women, women or women do? Women are fucking cruel to each other?
Mike DePalma:I don't know. I don't know. I don't. I guess cuz I'm because of how we break each other's balls. I don't really see. I wouldn't even tell you be able to tell you how they would? Well, I know that don't I mean? Like, I don't think it's like us like, hey, you know, your dismissal.
Kevin Donaldson:The one the worst one I ever heard was apparently, and I didn't know this girl. And I didn't. It's not that I had first hand knowledge of this, but a girl had lopsided breasts and these color lApi which, you know, if if one of us had one testicle, you know, we'd be calling each other one night, and we would laugh at it. But this this was bad. It was really really bad for this girl.
Mike Failace:But see Now getting back to that, guys break each other's balls all the time. You know? Oh, get a small deck. You got this. You got two girls. Bust each other's chops away guys do like when you get a
Mike DePalma:saying I don't get to determine that. I mean, I don't really. I can't
Mike Failace:really say you're too small. Yeah,
Kevin Donaldson:yeah. Women Women just associate differently because
Mike DePalma:as cheek is small. I don't What the fuck? Like women are each other and
Kevin Donaldson:say, I really love you. And we go out to dinner and tall. Yeah, it'll be like, fuck you.
Mike DePalma:You know what, then you know what? You're right. Because it is a little bit like after it's the aftermath. Like, did
Kevin Donaldson:you see that?
Mike DePalma:She got the balls that like us. It's like straight up. Yeah. Mr. Buddy.
Kevin Donaldson:Smitty say to me, I was I was getting serious. Like, I love the guy dearly. And he was going through sobriety issues. And he's like, fucking queer. He calls me a fucking queer.
Mike DePalma:See, we went through it and we break it shows like, it's not like, I don't know, that's actually a good question. I got I'm gonna have to, like do some research.
Kevin Donaldson:What should we tell everybody that you send me like hard emojis and kiss emoji. And because
Mike DePalma:I love and I do say love and hugs. I'm not I'm not afraid of my man. But,
Mike Failace:again, getting back to that how many times you guys are fucking around and you say, oh, yeah, you're gay. You know, it doesn't mean
Mike DePalma:you're homosexual. But you don't mean it that goes back to being your childhood, you know?
Mike Failace:girls say to each other. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're lesbian. You're lesbian. It's a different form of that's a good sign
Kevin Donaldson:every guy every guy with a 20 mile radius when you are
Mike DePalma:seriously
Mike Failace:guys, if you call them gay, that is like, you know, like an insult if you call if a girl calls another girl gate and it's okay.
Kevin Donaldson:There's so many there's so many differences. They women learn to associate with genuine feeling guys learn to emote their feelings in this really just bad behavior. But that's what because, again, if you go back to traditional roles, men men have to protect men need to be a little tougher than women. Because go back a million years men were hunters women took care to children and and, you know, they were barefoot and pregnant in the cave. So yeah, seriously. So we had to develop this this tough exterior. And I think it's it's it's genetic word carries over into day where we don't have to go hunt our food. But we still have that need to toughen each other up. I mean, I think that's a psychological that's the psychology behind it.
Mike Failace:But you said Do you think it's part of growing up where? Like, like you were asking if your father broke it is that your father trying to talk to you now. So they're trying to make you more of a man by breaking your balls. So, you know, you know what life's all about. So I'm playing.
Kevin Donaldson:I recently heard a comedian. I don't know if you know who Brad Williams is. He's a he's a little person. And he's a comedian. He's funny as hell. And he talks about he goes, he goes, my dad, you know, it's easy to get bullied in high school when the biggest bully you ever met in your life was your dad because but the way his dad used to do it, so that was a full size man, muscular athlete, and he used to break his son's balls all the time. You know, when he goes he actually says it was like a Yoda Luke Skywalker except reversed. But, but what his dad would do is he break his balls and he'd say, Okay, now give it back to me. Now give it back to me. Because he would teach him how to combat people are making fun of him. Because at some point, that becomes bullying. And what you can disarm a bully? You know what when when do you think? When do you think that? Or when do you take when you think when do you think that busting balls become a bully? And can you can you legitimately bully your sin now or back when with your friends in general with your With your circle of people, when would it become bullying? Would what we put up on the on the screen be bullying?
Mike Failace:Someone? Could someone could consider somebody else? Sure.
Kevin Donaldson:Yeah. But when at what point would that become bullying to you? Actually, that's a bad question. At what point would that become bullying to you? Because I don't think I don't think you could be bullied.
Mike DePalma:I? No, you know what? I,
Mike Failace:if we put that picture up of someone that we didn't know, if Mike wasn't in the middle of that, that I think would be considered bullying. Yeah, if we if we had a heavy person in here, and we blew up our faces and put them up there, that would be bullying. Yeah, that would be fat shaming. Corral. But we did it to Mike. As because he is fat, a show of love.
Mike DePalma:No. I gotta use his back there. You would use in a faith that keep you did that.
Mike Failace:All right. Like you got to understand.
Mike DePalma:Do you want me to go home and get a pair of my shoes? Like where? Do you understand?
Mike Failace:Just let me tell you something. What? Me and Kevin have no control over the screen? Yes. It's the man behind the mirror. That's doing all that
Mike DePalma:as you notice. There's a
Kevin Donaldson:there's a hurricane brewing. Now it's
Mike DePalma:coming a beast.
Kevin Donaldson:There's a hurricane.
Mike Failace:Look. Look, I got a pen in my hand.
Kevin Donaldson:I'm not dizzy. I can't
Mike DePalma:should I be silent? It is what it is don't worry about it. You're gonna get a visit tonight
Kevin Donaldson:was gonna the department's just gonna hover over.
Mike Failace:And you're you're gonna Hoboken for dinner next week? I'll be like, if my cough Well, have you ever smelled
Mike DePalma:caffeine? Have you
Kevin Donaldson:ever? Have you ever had that happen where somebody's breaking your balls? And and he got some point you got pissed off? Because in my opinion, if I'm breaking somebody's balls, one of my friends and they get pissed off. I win. Because it's a game. It's a game. Have you ever had that happen?
Mike DePalma:I don't know. Like, I'm not trying to be like I was. You know, you mentioned about you know, how your father was a senator. My father wasn't he was. He was three. He was cool. He never did that. Like the only thing I was taught. You know, if I was in a street fight, my father would take my hand. Go ring the father's Bell. I'd fight the kid again in the gate. You know, so it wasn't? I don't know. I just I always had thick skin. You know? And believe it or not, I was that person that way. It's extra thick right here. No, no, no. But
Mike Failace:did you see thick skin? You had thick skin? Thick skin?
Mike DePalma:Right? Come on. I'm seeing this. Okay.
Mike Failace:I'm sorry. So now. He lost his train of thought.
Mike DePalma:So anyway, I did I lost my train of thought.
Kevin Donaldson:Mike, how about you? Have You Ever Have you ever gotten pissed off? Absolutely.
Mike Failace:Yeah, absolutely. I can't really get into the issue. But there was something going on in the former department I used to work at and they were making wise. No, they were they were criminal wise. They were going after someone and I wanted to transfer in departments. And so when one guy kept coming after me, there's a couple of definitions. That's a good point, writing me writing incessantly that
Kevin Donaldson:can be construed as breaking balls. And that's the point. And that's not what we're talking about. Here. We're talking about making fun of people making fun of our friends, amongst friends.
Mike Failace:And we almost, I mean, it was a lot bigger to me tonight. So listen, motherfucker, you don't fucking stop. He said. I said, we're gonna go outside right now. You may kick my ass but you you're gonna know you're in a fucking fight. Fucking cut to shit right now. I always fucking livid.
Mike DePalma:And you know that that was like, that's because people sometimes. And that's why I became, you know, much easier. Like I was that person. Like, you know what? You know, it's gonna be a fucking problem.
Mike Failace:If they hone in on something that's personal to you. And keep fucking going. Yeah, that's when ball breaking becomes overboard. Yeah.
Kevin Donaldson:Yeah. Like I I, you know, if you have some sort of tragedy going on in your life, and I'm just just keep hammering and hammering. That's, it's, that's I think that's when it's gone too far.
Mike Failace:Oh, without doubt. And like I said, this, this guy went too far. And I fucking lost it. I lost,
Mike DePalma:you know, I just I discussed actually, my daughter was telling me, you know, something similar to this the other day, and we were discussing it and it's great. She's, you know, she's 11. But she's, she's very opinionated. It's great to listen to her. And it's same incident where, you know, a friend and, you know, was not nice, or whatever it was. And, you know, I sometimes I always say, you really never know what's going on in that person's life. You know what I'm saying? And I get it. Somebody can make you extremely, extremely angry stream stream map, but you never really know what's on the other side. You know what I mean? Like, you know, like, sometimes, I guess it's compassion. You know, what I mean? You know, besides like, what we do and what we did You know, it's, you know, I've learned, you know, more compassion. And you know, just, you know, being that robotic, and I'm a cop, I'm a soldier, let's, you know,
Mike Failace:you never know what's going through someone's mind 100 Because you never know what they're thinking, something you may pick at is something that is brewing in their mind, and it's something that's weighing on them. Now, all of a sudden, you start honing in on that, and start picking out about that, and they fucking snap.
Kevin Donaldson:Well, there's two things about breaking balls, number one, you know, if I was having a bad day, and then I go around my friends, and they start breaking my balls a little bit, not about whatever's pissing me off elsewhere, then I start feeling better.
Mike Failace:But if they pissed you off about what was going on elsewhere, that would
Kevin Donaldson:be a problem. That's what I'm saying. That would be a big problem. But you know, thick skin is a gift. It is really, really a gift. And I think it's something that's lacking.
Mike Failace:It's fixed. Fix it, and that fix can fix.
Kevin Donaldson:So what's your heaviest? Your pants were tighter than thick skinned?
Mike DePalma:That's actually pretty decent. What was the other word you said before?
Kevin Donaldson:Got that full Bobby?
Mike DePalma:No. You said you said another one was hardcore. Alright. Let's get back to the
Kevin Donaldson:let's get back to the point. Now back to our show back to you know where we should be having this.
Mike Failace:When are we going to start the show? What's the show?
Kevin Donaldson:We should be having this discussion in the grand saloon there one of our sponsors 940 Van Halen Avenue. We could sit there and laugh all night, eat the greatest food in the world and be taken care of by Nick and his crew over there. Awesome. So go visit the Grand saloon go to Grand saloon.com That's grand with a
Mike Failace:delicate, we may be able to do that because we may be having a remote show from there coming up.
Kevin Donaldson:Coming up our two year anniversary. We've been doing this show for two years come December. So
Mike Failace:we may be going to the grand saloon donee. We're still you know, it's in the works right now. But we may you know,
Kevin Donaldson:Nick's a big cigar guy too. We got to introduce him to frontline cigars.
Mike Failace:I'm sure they already they all know each other and that's some community right there.
Kevin Donaldson:But if you go you know, so frontline cigars also takes care. So you go to frontline cigars.com, and you put in tsp you get a 15% discount. I don't know if you're a cigar smoker. You showed me You telling
Mike DePalma:me about the internet and everything and.com Okay, why don't we get right on it
Kevin Donaldson:go on, go on, kind of go on disk.com
Mike DePalma:You guys are gonna really appreciate the the essence of my this and that,
Kevin Donaldson:you know when you when you go for these videos and this and that whatever brain, you know, he's gonna come in, he's like, Hello, I'm Mike. Howard.
Mike DePalma:Hi, this is Michael Palmer. This is
Mike Failace:gonna be like Kramer from Seinfeld. Smart and every
Kevin Donaldson:letter is going to be enunciated. That's pronounced.
Mike Failace:Pronounced enunciate is pronounced as things that
Kevin Donaldson:it's not a graduation, right? Mike dipalma is enunciating today.
Mike DePalma:Let's get back to the show. We
Mike Failace:ran into a friend of yours the other day a friend of ours. Nicky Burke. Well, I don't know if I can tell you. It was a it was a history taught. Yeah, he's retired. He was a Hoboken PBA barbecue. You weren't invited that you probably weren't invited to probably not probably not everybody's there everybody there their name was comp. Oh, come Hey, come Hey, come pick up my discount like this guy.
Mike DePalma:That's a that's a that's a real real
Kevin Donaldson:well, the thought process and Hoboken might be a little skewed so they can bust each other's balls instead of calling them dickhead or jerk off or something. It's just comp.
Mike DePalma:It's just comp it's like brother a What's up comp company? was a real thing. It was even a Latin based. You forget names. What's it telling everybody's account? It's a tight like
Mike Failace:compadres. Madre short for compadres.
Mike DePalma:compadres. Did you get that on? I just actually educated that in Donaldson with actually Andre,
Kevin Donaldson:actually an Italian it's comparing. I don't I'm just you have some padres? For Spanish. You have to correct me my damn
Mike Failace:sorry. Truth because it's Costa Rican.
Kevin Donaldson:It's coaster. Everybody does
Mike DePalma:comp. Yeah, it's a
Kevin Donaldson:comp. I don't mean it don't sound right. You got some. Everybody says on your chin.
Mike DePalma:There's another one shim
Mike Failace:shim, I know the shim shim shim
Kevin Donaldson:thing. You put the under the knot.
Mike DePalma:It's like a Shem. Like, he's, I don't know, it's like Mangle. He's just
Mike Failace:you're shaped. See. See, and that's not a good word here because a lot of people call it Shem. Like, he she a Shem you know, and we're,
Kevin Donaldson:we're we got to one of our families. Yeah.
Mike Failace:Don't say Shem here
Kevin Donaldson:actually is single and ready to mingle. Okay, actually, it's cool as hell man and brother Mark and his husband is soon to be husband, Nick. awesome people. I'm good. I'm good. Okay. So that's immediately where your mind goes. You're gonna start talking about
Mike DePalma:what's gonna take me to come to decompress tonight. Holding his Beeston I'm gonna have to rewatch that clip you put up
Kevin Donaldson:over and over and over. Over and over it wasn't going to it's gonna watch it on repeat like this like some sort of psychopath had
Mike DePalma:to be like Mikey did it tonight. Really did it
Mike Failace:his stairwells gonna be like a triangle by always gonna be big now, you know, so let's reel this back in please
Kevin Donaldson:you've you've broken people's balls I know I've seen it I've heard it. Have you ever felt bad for me about felt bad about doing it? Well,
Mike DePalma:if it affected somebody and I knew it did I would you know sometimes I guess you just don't realize you get caught in the moment, right 100% I'm not that, you know, hey, it's this you know, I usually one or two days I'll be like, damn,
Mike Failace:is it like do you ever give someone a call and say, you know, really sorry about that. 100 I'm always open to just having fun. Yeah, I'm
Mike DePalma:sorry. You know, I'm very, you know,
Mike Failace:I've done that before you know it. Listen, if you're offended the other night. I'm sorry. You know, we're just having fun next time I'll wear my
Kevin Donaldson:pants. Well, Mike has first hand experience of, of the line of breaking not breaking balls, but making jokes against somebody he doesn't really know, at the inappropriate time. So when we had Clark Fredrickson it was it was like a fart in church. It was so bad. So Mike, like it's getting tight in here like it's getting tense. And Mike, Mike,
Mike Failace:now you know how I am when it gets tense. I'm, Doug generally throw a joke out there to lighten the mood.
Kevin Donaldson:Yeah. And Mike tries to throw in this sense this thing of humor. It just it?
Mike Failace:Oh, he laughed at it. He told me he called me the next day and said it was hysterical.
Kevin Donaldson:But it the odd point to the optics on camera where I was like, Oh, I didn't know what to do. It talks about the Boy Scout laws he was getting the boys looks at me. He goes, wasn't that one you were involved into? And he goes, this is my drama here. You know? Yeah. So there's another one
Mike Failace:where we're talking about grooming. Yeah. And I throw in a joke there to go. Jesus Christ. I'm talking about grooming, grooming and you're gonna drop a junket.
Kevin Donaldson:Well, I just talked to him the other night and I did. I did the same thing you did as he goes, Yeah, I want to find a new job. And I said I heard you get Boy Scout leader. Oh.
Mike DePalma:You get raw. You get raw blames me. Yeah. No, I got I have to I have to like you know, you want to be honest. Yeah.
Kevin Donaldson:I need examples. I need I just did one. Yeah. Well, that was
Mike DePalma:an auto off the Dell. Oh, yeah.
Mike Failace:That was a movie with a little more Dudley Moore and Liza Minnelli
Kevin Donaldson:and autour is a filmmaker. Just yeah, I did
Mike Failace:it and he already Delap. So yeah, you get you get wrong. He said. He said, maybe it
Kevin Donaldson:was the genes you were aware some because some guy hit on. Yeah. As he's getting raped by these this other kid. And you
Mike Failace:also said that you knew some priests back in the day that? Oh, yeah, cuz I didn't tell him a little and you felt bad because they never touched you.
Kevin Donaldson:So what am I unattractive?
Mike Failace:Maybe it was GGO aware. And I was so offended by that myself.
Kevin Donaldson:I could tell. I could tell. But that's, that's an example. And at the time, I know already pretty well now. But at the time, I didn't know him. Mike didn't know Clark. And you're trying to relieve tension by because that's how you relate to people. You're friendly with? Yeah. And you miss step. And then afterwards, you just sort of look at yourself. Like I can't believe we're this fun.
Mike Failace:Well, that's what we were saying before about the cell phones. There's no unsend button on there. Yeah, no, I have to say it. It's out there. It's you know, now it's recorded. Yeah, if we want to record and I can say something to own and just deny ever say it, but now it's recorded. And believe me, Andrew will not let any of that go.
Kevin Donaldson:So how do you go about fixing that when you when you miss step like that? You know, you missed up with somebody who you don't know real well, you try to land a joke to break the tension.
Mike DePalma:Some people be like, fuck, gives it you know what I mean? If it was me, I'm okay. You know, I'm really sorry. You know what I mean? I don't you know, and then you got to fix it with inside yourself. You got to just you know, have that in the back of your mind next time you you kind of never know what who you're talking to? What's behind that person? What's going on in that person's mind.
Mike Failace:But the common things with guys and we say it all the time is I wouldn't break your balls. If I didn't care about you.
Mike DePalma:That's us. Yeah, I wouldn't. That's us. Yeah. wouldn't talk next the way it was in a PDF if you didn't have those old timers talking to you.
Mike Failace:Yeah. They didn't break your balls. That means you weren't accepted. Right? Yeah. So it's like a rite of passage for guys, you know, to be accepted into the group. Have your bullsbrook Yeah, but now again getting back to what we're saying before the women do that is a rite of passage for women.
Kevin Donaldson:I think just women women are cooler and Gen. Diller but they're much more I think women
Mike Failace:get together break guys balls amongst each other. Instead of writing each other's books I agree you know, maybe maybe they'll bust their their one girl Buster husbands or friends husbands balls or friends boyfriends balls, there's often, you know, to the woman, right? I can picture women sitting around a table like this. Doing were doing. I don't know
Kevin Donaldson:about you guys, but I appreciate it when people give it back to me.
Mike DePalma:100% Yeah, I respect you more if you tell me like it is okay. Even if you mess up a mic. That's fine. That was fine. Listen, how do we fix this? How, you know, like, when we spoke, I was like, how do we fix this? So but I think it was a mutual thing. It was like, oh, let's just
Kevin Donaldson:No, no, no, no, no. When when if a wrecking ball if you were breaking somebody's balls. And if they're not giving it back to you. Number one, it's no fun. Right? Right. But you respect them so much more when they give it back to you? I do anyway. Except I'll usually come at him like, like, I'll break their balls break their balls, and then they'll come at me with one I'm like, two that's really fucked up kind of my feelings.
Mike DePalma:But then you gotta you gotta know when to stop. You know what I mean? It could it could go we all
Kevin Donaldson:know those people who don't know when to stop. Right? Okay.
Mike DePalma:And that's now nowadays, it's much much more intense and scary. Like, you know, for for my children, whatever it is with social media, so forth and so on. It's it's, it's out there.
Mike Failace:But you know, we've all the three of us have all gone through some shit, the tree, the tree of us. The trio's leaks,
Mike DePalma:see what's happening he's using.
Mike Failace:He's really not really we
Mike DePalma:want to talk to you if we didn't just now he's just done a talk like me. No,
Mike Failace:actually, actually. The guest the guest we had bailed out tonight. So we had to go with Mike did I know. But the three of us both gone through some shit, right? And the way we got through it was breaking balls and through laughter. So I mean, breaking balls really does have a good side to
Kevin Donaldson:breaking balls as a gift. Yeah, it really is a gift in so many different ways brings back to a place of normalcy. It allows that other person especially if they're if they're anything like me, or the people in this room here. It allows the other people know okay, well this guy likes me break my boss. Because
Mike Failace:it could knock you down a peg when you think you're getting too fucking big for your britches britches or pants blank. When you think you're getting too big for your britches, you know, they'll they knock you down a couple pegs
Kevin Donaldson:and VRI T ch
Mike Failace:mice get too big for his britches stepped over the line.
Mike DePalma:This is this is kind of
Kevin Donaldson:can you can either of you remember? The your pinnacle of breaking somebody's balls that one thing that you said to somebody where they just had nothing just they wanted to but they just had nothing to return? That one time.
Mike Failace:I know mine,
Kevin Donaldson:when he got
Mike Failace:we had a guy that he used to fuckup all the time in law enforcement used to fuck all fuckup all time. And we just called you know, Guy Fox up. Yeah, he stepped on a stick. Right? So the guy was talking one day and he's like, Yeah, I got a big dick. And he said, Listen, I don't know if your dick is the biggest but I know it's a flattest, you stepped on it. So everybody busted. The guy wanted to kick my pocket as a third on the third. I mean, third.
Mike DePalma:I know what I can. You mean? breaking balls. Sometimes I would just say things and not realize you know what I mean? Can you imagine that realize what I was
Mike Failace:that sometimes we all go over to breaking bowls.
Mike DePalma:Some of my best work this Come on. I'm being serious right now. You know, I'm gonna give you a picture when I was in my military but you're gonna put that up there.
Mike Failace:It was I was going through my phone trying to get pictures of Central and the put up there but he won't do it. I got Academy pitches with us. I got a picture you marching in a parade?
Mike DePalma:I could? Yeah. Wait, I gotta get back to this. I don't want to lose. It was actually you lose your train of thought a good friend of mine. And I didn't realize he just got a lot of work on his his teeth. And I, you know, we always break balls, whatever. And I just came out and I was like, Hey, look at those fucking shoppers. And I didn't realize like it kind of devastated them. You know? It's I was like, Oh my God. But sometimes I don't realize because you want to think that everybody's the same as us. You know what I mean? But they're not, you know? People take it wrong way,
Kevin Donaldson:I got my son really good. I got my son really good. So there was a real it was either a real or a tick tock thing where the music's playing in the background and it's I just took a penis in my butt. But
Mike Failace:so you've, you did that to your son so many times in the years to post that, you
Kevin Donaldson:know, I did it to him one, but I just used to keep posting it, because it's me and him sitting there. I'm like, bobbing my head, and all of a sudden, the words come out. And he just goes, Ah, poor kid was, like 11 years old. Or maybe it was 10. And I know, I embarrassed the hell out of them by doing
Mike Failace:it. And, you know, to make things right, you posted it on social media. So everybody saw it? Of course,
Kevin Donaldson:of course. I said, alright, I'll give it back to me. But I do teach my kids this lesson. I do teach my kids this lesson. Don't ever do something to somebody. You're, you're not willing to have done right back
Mike Failace:to you. Exactly. And I think that's a rule of bull breaking.
Kevin Donaldson:Right? If I'm going to break your balls, I better be prepared to get my balls broken. If there's
Mike Failace:any ball breaking guidelines. That's got to be like, number one.
Kevin Donaldson:Yeah, I think that's the only one if you're gonna give
Mike Failace:it take it. Yeah. And,
Kevin Donaldson:you know, and even there's nothing sacred. Is there anything sacred and ballbusting?
Mike Failace:Well, you know, I mean, even back in the day, the mother jokes, you know, everybody just got offended by my mother. I'm just gonna say to Mother jokes really offend you? Like, if somebody you know, you're not talking specifically about my mother, it's really just a word. Not a person. Your mother
Mike DePalma:was combat? Yeah.
Unknown:Okay. Oh, my goodness. Let
Mike DePalma:me just like God, I'm devastated. Why did you fight him?
Mike Failace:He said, Mommy said you were combat boots.
Mike DePalma:Let's just say son as your mama.
Kevin Donaldson:So you know, we're coming to the end that his thing now Thank God.
Mike Failace:No, come on.
Kevin Donaldson:You won't put the picture echo. No. Okay. So we're coming to the end this thing right now. And as usual, at the end, it is this journey of breaking each other's balls. You've spent your life in Hoboken I know how Hoboken people talk to each other. It's like a diverse, a lot of totally different. A lot of all break. What do you think it's taught you?
Mike DePalma:I think thick skin, you know, learn thick skin again at Dickinson. Understand that thick, thick, thick, thick skin. You I mean it. It also teaches a like compassion, you know, to always realize sometimes, you know, you could take it a little further than what it's supposed to be, you know, because there's consequences people. People do crazy things, you know,
Mike Failace:every I don't wanna say every case, every person is different. Yeah, you know, you got to know your limits when it comes to ball break. Yeah, you gotta be able to read a person and see if it's really starting to get to, you know, and then you're gonna, you know,
Mike DePalma:we're all built off there. We're all you know how he gets here. We can do some Yeah, we can sit
Mike Failace:here and bust balls all night. But you get someone who's really not a ballbreaker you got to learn to reel it in a little bit.
Kevin Donaldson:Yeah, I guess so. You got to know your audience. Yeah, exactly. I know you're on It's Mike. What do you think it's taught you?
Mike Failace:Lung that that was it? Really, you know, you got to know your limits, you know, you see it, it's really starting to get someone before bowl breaking really does become bullying. You know, everybody can't take that bowl breaking. You know, and I know a lot of people who you just know not to break their balls, because not gonna be able to take, but again, you have friends where you could just walk in and say what's up fuck nuts. And you know, it's that your friend? Yeah. But if you if you walked into a bar and went up to the bar, they're not nuts.
Mike DePalma:They said nut farts that's getting knocking fucking nuts. That's now you get no dirty nut punch. You just take it in reverse it. Like I start teaching stuff than I speak English. I'm sorry. I'm just it's just like, Hey, you don't get it.
Kevin Donaldson:I get it. I get it. I just don't know where it came from. Came from Mars,
Mike DePalma:where your mind came from or where it came from?
Kevin Donaldson:Guy next question I'm gonna ask is Do you think people break in each other on Mars? But that's But anyway, what it's taught me is it's real simple, as thick thick skin is absolutely the biggest gift you can give to anybody and have have yourself because without thick skin, everything's gonna offend you. Everything's gonna affect you. And you're not going to be able to move forward again anywhere in life. So that's gonna do it for this episode, guys. So this one was kind of fun.
Mike Failace:And we could do it again next week.
Mike DePalma:I got plenty of stories.
Mike Failace:Well, let's listen if if the if our guest bails out for next week again, we'll we'll call you again because you're like our go to person. All right.
Kevin Donaldson:Well, I like Mike on the on the show. He's becoming like this regular. Yeah, just the he's like crazy, Mike. Well, next time
Mike DePalma:I know I'm very conservative and carrying like you said, is that how you rebrand if somebody makes you call me. So many midnight Mike like I would turn it midnight after night.
Mike Failace:I like powder. I was like, well
Kevin Donaldson:that's pretty cool. Well, that's gonna we can
Mike Failace:bring them in one night and talk about the whole ammo thing, you know,
Kevin Donaldson:stealing of ammo.
Mike DePalma:I never did that.
Kevin Donaldson:I don't know what they know of and I never
Mike Failace:statute of limitations probably.
Kevin Donaldson:That's gonna do it for this episode of the suffering podcast the suffering of breaking balls. And as always, we're going to talk about all the stuff that we learned here. First thing I learned is the bomb has got thick skin around his joke
Mike DePalma:I was trying to see now if I had thick skin it wouldn't expand like that, sir. Is an extra good circumcised you know, I'm really
Kevin Donaldson:the next thing is don't do don't say anything to anybody or do anything to anybody you're not unwilling to have done to yourself. Busting balls has to come from love. Thick skin is a gift. But most importantly, if we like you, prepare yourself because you're gonna get your balls busted. And that's going to do it for this episode of the suffering podcast. Don't forget to check out Papa go to paypal.com put in the code tsp 24 20% discount?
Mike Failace:What about Mike's plugs? Did you have any plugs? Anything earplugs?
Mike DePalma:Alright have plugs?
Mike Failace:Yeah, but plus power plugs. poeple
Kevin Donaldson:it's a digital it's a digital business card. So all you do you can you can either swipe it on their phone or there's a QR code and all your information goes in there and it's a nice little conversation piece I use poeple constantly so if I'm going to places I'll give them all my information it's got all my social media all the websites every YouTube everything it really
Mike Failace:replaces business cards now Yeah, cuz on a digital digital business card
Kevin Donaldson:on a business card your title is going to change well guess what? You just go into the app you change your title, you're done. It's wonderful thing.
Mike Failace:Mike can get promoted anytime soon.
Kevin Donaldson:And don't forget to follow us on social media that's Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tik Tok. Follow the suffering podcast on Instagram at the suffering podcast follow Mike at Mike underscore Falaise. Follow me at real Kevin Donaldson. You want to give out your social media.
Mike DePalma:You really don't want to follow me.
Kevin Donaldson:You are hurricane mike on tick. So I don't
Mike DePalma:have any I don't put them up. Listen, if you don't discharge tonight, I'm probably going to be in court on Monday. mentor to me, it's very erratic and inappropriate.
Mike Failace:The cops follow him enough.
Kevin Donaldson:That's gonna do it for this episode of the suffering podcast. We'll see you on the next episode.
