Jan. 12, 2025
Unlocking Courage: Confronting Fear to Achieve Your Dreams
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Fear can be a heavy barrier to achieving your goals, and most people may not even realize it's what’s holding them back. By naming fears, taking small steps, and reframing failure as opportunity, you can unlock your potential and move forward.
• Identifying fear as the core reason for hesitation
• Acknowledging the dual nature of fear: fear of failure and success
• Naming your fears to gain control
• Taking small, manageable steps to build confidence
• Reframing failure as feedback for growth
• Practical steps to harness fear into motivation
• Encouragement to seek coaching for personal development
Transcript
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Welcome everyone to a new episode of the you Unleashed podcast.
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I'm your host, femi Akinyemi, and I'm super, super excited to have you with me.
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So how's the year been?
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We are into our first week of the year.
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Can you believe it?
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Just imagine there's 52 weeks.
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One week is gone and that's 25% of the first month, or about 20%.
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So the clock is ticking to do something with this year and at least be able to get to a point where you can look back and say you know what?
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It's been a good year.
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Now, I'm one of those people who always tries to reflect at the end of the year.
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Sometimes it goes well, sometimes it doesn't, and this year I want to talk about a topic that most of us deal with, but we sometimes are unable to grasp really what we're dealing with.
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You see, we don't achieve the things we want or we don't do the things we want for any number of reasons, but most of the time those reasons are masquerading as something else, when, in true sense, it's only one thing.
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So let's start with a simple question.
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Have you ever felt paralyzed by fear so you're literally unable to take the next step, even though you know it's the right one?
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You're not alone.
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It's normal.
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Now the thing is, most of the time you don't realize it's fear, because you'll think it's procrastination you you think it's other people delaying you.
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You'll come up with any number of reasons when the true reason, most of the time, is just you're afraid of one thing or the other.
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Now let me blow your mind with a stat 60% of adults report their fear holds them back from achieving their goals, and that's quoted by Psychology Today.
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So here's something to reflect on.
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Fear is a universal experience, but it doesn't have to control your life.
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So in this session we're going to explore how to confront it and how to find the courage to move forward, because the reality is that fear is not a bad thing.
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So why does fear happen?
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Fear is rooted in our survival instincts, but in modern life it can become irrational.
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Fear is something that you need because it's a preservation tactic.
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For the most time when you feel fear is because, naturally, you should not be able to do something.
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You shouldn't do something.
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This is something that can stop you from achieving what you want.
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But most of the time when you feel fear, it's fear is because you know that if, on the other side of that fear, there's possibly something dangerous that can happen to you.
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So think of it this way Fear of failure.
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You're thinking humiliation.
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You're thinking putting yourself there and not achieving it.
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You're thinking rejection.
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You're thinking stepping into the unknown.
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If I step into the unknown, what can happen?
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Then here's another fear people don't ever think about Fear of success.
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For a lot of us, we are actually afraid of success.
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If you achieve the very thing you want, it's going to mean more responsibility.
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It's going to mean more people want your time.
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It's going to mean you need to maintain that thing you've achieved, which is going to demand more of you.
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And sometimes, for some of us, it's just a fear of stretching ourselves because you have to leave your comfort zone.
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Now the good book in the bible.
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It says in 2 Timothy 1.7,.
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It says we haven't been given a spirit of fear, but we've been given a spirit of power, love and self-control by God.
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Courage is within us and it's really a matter of unlocking that courage.
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It's about getting to a point where you think you know what.
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Forget it, I'm going to do it anyway.
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If there's someone in the office challenging you, you think you know what, forget you, I'm going to say what I have to say, and whatever happens happens.
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It's about saying you know what, what's the worst that can happen, but it's about just a little bit pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
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That's what courage is about.
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So let's talk about a number of hacks or steps you can take to overcome fear Number one name your fear.
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What are you afraid of?
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Identify your fear.
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I speak to my coach a lot and one of the things he says to me is Femi, are you concerned what people are going to think about?
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So, for you, name your fear.
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Are you afraid of going broke?
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Are you afraid of going bankrupt?
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Are you afraid of being successful?
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Are you afraid of failure?
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Are you afraid of what others are going to think of you?
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Are you afraid of letting people down?
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Are you afraid of stretching yourself in your comfort zone?
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Are you afraid that if you put yourself out there, people may not appreciate it?
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Are you afraid people may mock you?
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Now, on that last one, most of the time people really don't care.
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Most people are too wrapped up in their own world, achieving their own goals or worried about what other people think about them, to be worried about what they think about you.
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And the honest truth is that even if people do think about you, it's fleeting.
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It's only for like a second or two and then they're back to thinking about their own fears.
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So sometimes the fact that you're worried what people think is actually more a point that you're too wrapped up in yourself and the message is get over yourself.
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It's not all about you, but it's about you.
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It's about you just stepping forward and not worried about being worried about what people think.
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But it's not about what people think about you, it's about you.
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So you need to name your fear and go.
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I fear rejection when applying for a promotion.
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I fear going broke when I try this investment.
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I fear losing everything I own if this goes wrong.
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I fear what people think about me if I do that.
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Step out of my comfort zone because once you name it, you start to have control over it.
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You see what I'm doing there.
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The moment you name your fear, you start to rationalize it and give, give yourself control over it.
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So let's say, for example you're worried you may lose everything you have.
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Guess what?
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You may not, but you may.
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But if you did, what's the worst that could happen?
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You would start again.
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You lose everything and you might have to start again.
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But if you did, you might achieve everything you've dreamt of no pain, no gain.
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If you don't take a risk, you can't make anything.
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High risk, high reward.
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But you have to name your fear to have control over it.
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Because when you name your fear, you can then start to have risk.
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So you're thinking I might lose everything I have.
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Then you start to put in place a contingency plan.
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Well, if I lose the house I own, I may have to rent for a few months.
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Or if I lose my job, I might have to apply for a new job.
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If I put myself out there to challenge my boss on what he's thinking, he may respect me.
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Or I may have to find a new job.
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Well, guess what?
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If it's a job where I can't speak openly to my manager, maybe it's not a job I want to be in anyway.
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You start to think about the fear and then, once you start to rationalize and think about your fear, your fear becomes smaller and smaller and smaller.
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So number tip number one, name your fear, write down and ask yourself what is the worst that can happen.
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So while we're talking about this, we're talking about fear.
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But you know, fear often stops us from going after what we truly want.
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Speaking of moving past fear, here's another tip successful people don't often share.
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They have coaches.
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Whether it's finding clarity, building confidence, achieving career breakthroughs or even talking through their fears with someone, coaching is the edge that helps them get ahead.
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At mycareerlabscouk, they help you unlock what's holding you back, whether it's your fear and whatever it is.
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They help you unlock what's holding you back.
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They map out a plan and help you stay on track to achieve your goals.
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So don't let fear hold you back.
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Take control of your career and your life today and visit mycareerlabscouk and learn how career coaching can transform your journey.
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Now let's get back to tackling how you can deal with fear head on.
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Step number two take small, courageous steps.
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So what do you have to do?
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Break your goal into manageable steps.
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So, if you have a fear, break your goal into manageable steps, because sometimes your goal looks overwhelming.
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It looks huge, but if you break it into small steps, it becomes achievable.
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Let's talk about me.
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I want this podcast to become a podcast that impacts lives and transform people's lives, but it's not going to become that overnight.
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I'm going to have to release a podcast every week or every other week and just keep doing it over and over and over again.
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Do you want to build an event planning business?
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You're going to do it one customer at a time.
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Do you want to become an influencer?
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Guess what you do?
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It's one instagram post at a time.
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Do you want to build a business?
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You do it by starting the business and servicing one customer at a time.
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Take it in manageable steps, so small wins build confidence and momentum, and fear fades as action begins.
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As you take more steps, your fear fades away because you get used to taking action, as psalm 56, verse 3, tells us, when I'm afraid, I put my trust in you.
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Hack number three reframe failure as growth.
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John John Maxwell often says I don't fail, I get feedback.
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Failure is a lesson.
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That's the honest truth in life.
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There's an honest story about Thomas Edison, who took about a thousand attempts to invent the incandescent bulb, which is the light bulb, and someone asked him what was he thinking when he was failing all those times?
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And he said I learned a thousand ways not to do it.
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I speak a lot with one of my friends who runs a business and he shared this with me.
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He said the honest truth is every day he spends making mistakes as he builds his business.
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He's building knowledge that helps him, because when someone else comes into the competition, they're going to make those mistakes too.
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So making mistakes is okay.
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You're learning, you're building confidence.
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The trick is, when you make a mistake, don't let it keep you down.
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Get up and go again no-transcript, and ask yourself what can I learn from this experience?
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If you don't take a step, if you don't attack the fear, you will not learn how to tackle it and the fear will always be bigger than you.
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So you need to reframing, you need to learn reframing, because that helps you reduce the emotional charge and creates learning opportunities.
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So you think what happens if I present a new idea to my boss?
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He would give me, he or she would give me some feedback and I'll learn how to improve the idea.
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He or she may challenge me and I'll have to defend my idea, to make sure the idea is a good idea.
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And what's what you're going to learn there?
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Okay, challenges you or she challenges you.
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What do you learn?
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You learn to deal with confrontation.
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You learn to have difficult conversations and stand your ground.
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Whatever it is, you are going to learn from it.
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So here's a practical tip reflect on a past failure and list what you gained from it.
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Think of something you did that didn't quite go the way you wanted and think what can I do better and go again.
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So here are some takeaways.
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We're going to recap the hacks.
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Number one name your fear and confront it.
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Number two take small steps and build momentum.
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It's about building momentum.
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Number three reframe failure as an opportunity to grow.
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And here's some takeaway actions.
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Write down the number one fear holding you back.
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Number two identify one small action to overcome it this week and reflect on how past failures have contributed to your growth.
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If you don't look back on your failure, you can never go forward.
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Reflect on your failure, build courage and go forward.
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So we're coming to the end of this amazing session.
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Last week, we spoke about new you, new you, building habits, consistency.
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This week, we are attacking the fear that stops you from moving forward.
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So I want to encourage you.
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Fear is a part of being human.
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I challenge you to find anybody, the most successful people out there.
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They feel fear, but they do it anyway.
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As long as you're human, you're going to feel fear.
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You may not feel fear in some other areas, but you may feel fear in other areas.
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But the people who feel fear, they take steps and they go for it.
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But fear should not define your future.
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You have the tools to face it and move forward, and I've shared some of those with you, so I'm going to encourage you take those steps Now.
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If this episode resonated with you, if you're watching this on YouTube, I'm asking subscribe to my YouTube channel.
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If it's on the podcast platform, subscribe to the podcast and share this with someone.
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Podcast platform subscribe to the podcast and share this with someone.
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This podcast has been sponsored by mycareerlabscouk, where you can visit there, find out more about how you can get coaching to help you unlock your greatest potential.
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But this week it's all about you.
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It's not about them.
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It's about you.
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It's about taking small, tiny steps to unlock your power, the majesty, the greatness within you.
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Fear cannot stop you.
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Only you can stop you.
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John FK Kennedy said we have nothing to fear, but fear itself.
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The fear can only scream, it can only shout, but the moment you take a step, the fear gets smaller.
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Until next time, let's keep moving.
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Let's keep going forward, one bold step at a time.
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You can do it, we can all do it.
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Be fearless, be brave be unleashed.
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Have a great week.
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