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Sept. 26, 2023

Navigating Business as an Empath: Advice and Energy Maintenance | Mallory Chila

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Season 1

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In this enlightening episode, we're joined by Mallory Chila, an intuitive performance coach. Mallory opens up about her transformative journey from a career in commercial real estate to becoming a coach. She emphasizes the importance of energy management for empath entrepreneurs and shares invaluable advice on networking and making authentic connections in business. Mallory also provides tips for empaths, such as the need for rest, limiting technology use, and grounding techniques. Don't miss out on her insights on leveraging your unique gifts to make a meaningful impact.

Key Takeaways:

  • Rest is essential for empaths in business to recharge and perform at their best.
  • Limiting technology use and creating boundaries can help empaths maintain their energy.
  • Grounding in nature and visualizing desired outcomes can enhance intuition and manifestation.
  • Networking events can be challenging for empaths, but finding like-minded individuals and switching the conversation script can make it more enjoyable.
  • Building deep connections with people is crucial for success as an empath entrepreneur.

Quotes:

  • "Rest is not laziness; it's an opportunity to recharge and propel forward." - Mallory Chila
  • "There's strength in community and power in numbers, so find your tribe and connect with them." - Mallory Chila

Connect:
Malchila.net

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Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.190
he got back to me and he calls me on the phone and he was so aggressive.

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Like he's like, who the hell do you think you are?

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I get so many of these calls every day, like, you know, life coach, life coach that.

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And he's like going at me.

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He's like, why should I help you?

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And I'm like, oh, this is my time to shine, because I'm used to this, because I have the commercial real estate background, and I'm like, okay, like, let's play.

00:00:22.539 --> 00:00:26.910
so anyways, I told him some of my stories with my life experiences and he was like, Oh, holy shit.

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He was like, okay, I'll take you on.

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He was like, I'm with it.

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I was so excited because it was like, everything started flowing in and that's how I always know when I'm on the right path

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All right.

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Welcome to the new age, human podcast.

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I'm your host, Jon Astacio today.

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We're talking with Mallory Chilla.

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She's actually an intuitive performance coach, she has a background in commercial real estate.

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And she knows.

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The world of networking and making those deep connections with people for business.

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So awesome.

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If you're an empath, entrepreneur or conscious creator, or all three of those things, this is for you.

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So some of the things that we talk about is advice for empaths in business this includes maintaining your energy.

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Now, before we begin, if you want to support the show check out telegram, if you want to join the conversation.

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And if you're listening on Apple podcasts, leave a five star review so we can attract a lot of good potential guests and help grow the show.

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Also, before I forget, make sure you join the newsletter so that we can stay in touch.

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Just in case we deal with some censorship issues.

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You will get up to date.

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And first time dibs on events coming up and future discounts on products and services Let's get to the show.

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So want to know more about what you're doing and what got you into doing what you're doing.

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Right.

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I consider you someone who is a conscious creator.

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Right?

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You, you found something that's working for you, you found something that's working for other people, and you're doing it, and you're moving forward.

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So yeah, please share what you do.

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Absolutely.

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So, I could start with just a quick thing with the event and then I could go into, to mine, but it's, it's funny we started talking about the water, right?

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That Candlewood Lake.

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So, it's right on the lake and water, of course, helps you flow.

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And so, I'm really hoping there's going to be a good flow between the speeches, the stories, the activities, you know, everything that's going on.

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My whole intent.

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Really, you know, conscious creator kind of sums it up where it's I had this idea at the beginning of the year and it came to me in a dream, actually, and this year and in and of itself has probably been one of the most like chaotic, like so many things going on in my life.

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Right.

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And like, I, and like, I think it was March or April and I just like, I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna on top of this, they're like my first event.

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I want to get 150 people like out of nowhere.

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Right.

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And I'd call that like a download.

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I didn't know how I was going to do it.

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I've never like had an event before.

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I like coordination.

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I like people, you know, I have a background in sales, all of that.

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So I'm like, you know, how hard can it be?

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It's hard.

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It's

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to start something, right?

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Whenever someone's like, how hard can it be?

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You're like, you're thinking it's going to be hard.

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And you're, and you're selling yourself.

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Absolutely.

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So, um, you know, I just kind of trusted that because I'd made the attempt to just meet as many people as I can this year to just network, keep an open mind, see who comes into my life.

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And I trusted that I'd kind of be connected to the right people and I'd figure it out.

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And been such an amazing process because at this point I have around 100 tickets sold and it's all people I've met this year, which is just that amount of, you know, going out there and figuring out what all these people are about and welcoming in the new while also letting go of some of the old has been.

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Such a process.

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And that's a lot of what I teach.

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So, you know, you asked what I do around like conscious creating.

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And like I said, my background was in sales, commercial real estate for like 10 years.

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And I just kept getting kind of this feeling, this calling to do something different.

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And that stemmed back to when I was a teenager, I had cancer and I almost died.

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And that was like what I would call my first spiritual awakening.

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And, you know, then you get distracted, like you forget, like people don't realize, like you can have these things happen to you.

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And then And you kind of get pulled like right back into what I'd call the matrix.

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And you know, you're looking for the money and the success and all these things that I'd like for years and years and years, that's what I was doing and I was doing well.

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And then right around COVID, I think like, you know, many other people sit with some personal experiences.

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I had, uh, three family deaths.

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Back to back to back, uh, I lost, like, my person, my grandfather, and, uh, I lost, oh, I left my job, which was corporate, and and so I decided to take a new path.

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And I really had, you know, all these different messages kind of coming in, and I just trusted it.

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I said, I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm going to figure it out.

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And so I took this coaching course called Psychosynthesis.

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coaching.

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It's like a spiritually based psychology and did hundreds of hours, found some really amazing mentors.

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And I've been doing that ever since.

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So I did my coaching and I found a mentor and, uh, you know, I didn't really know how to kind of get going with this, right?

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It was so different than what I was used to.

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You know, I knew that it would come to be because I felt like I was using my God given gifts.

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So I was like, I got to trust the process, but I know I need a mentor.

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So like, you know, both and that polarity of like, all right, I'll come to me, but like I have to get some work.

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And I reached out to a bunch of different coaches in this area with like the most It was kind of like, I don't know how you would describe it, but like the email, it was cheesy.

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It was a cheesy email.

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It was like, step into your next phase, dot, dot, dot, mentorship.

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Like, like just so cheesy.

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And I sent to like 10 coaches.

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I was like, I need a mentor.

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Like, I got to figure out what this whole thing is.

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And

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Wait, so you sent it to coaches that are doing what you're doing now, but they've

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for longer.

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Yes.

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And I got a lot of rejection just like anything else.

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And, uh, there was this,

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You're like

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No, I don't want to help you.

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You know, that whole thing was like, why would I like create my, it was very interesting because

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That's

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why would I want to train you up like my competition?

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But it's ironic, right?

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Because it's a field where you want to help people.

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So I've, I've found a lot of polarity right off the bat there where I really had to like tune in to the, to the people.

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And this one gentleman, Dr.

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Brett, he got back to me and he calls me on the phone and he was so aggressive.

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Like he's like, who the hell do you think you are?

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I get so many of these calls every day, like, you know, life coach, life coach that.

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And he's like going at me.

00:06:37.935 --> 00:06:39.276
He's like, why should I help you?

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And I'm like, oh, this is my time to shine, because I'm used to this, because I have the commercial real estate background, and I'm like, okay, like, let's play.

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And I ended up telling him a little bit of my story, my life experiences, because I am very young, I'm only 28, and, you know, sometimes people need a little bit of gray hair to, like, have that trust.

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You can

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I, I'm not going to dye it, I'm going to dye it the other way when it starts going gray.

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I do have one coming in here.

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Ha,

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I'm not condoning, you know, falsifying, but one, I wanted to throw a joke in there, but two, you never know, don't go by the gray hair, because some people do that on purpose.

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That's a good point.

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Well, it's just a good lesson, too, of like, you just never know, you know, where you might learn something or who might have, who might have something nice.

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Like, you just never know with people, right?

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People are always judging and always have these assumptions immediately on meeting someone or listening to them.

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And like, there's so many experiences and feelings and, you know, just life behind that person that you have no idea about.

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Yeah.

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So anyways, I told him some of my stories with my life experiences and he was like, Oh, holy shit.

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He was like, okay, I'll take you on.

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He was like, I'm with it.

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And I was so excited because it was like, everything started flowing in and that's how I always know when I'm on the right path is like the people come in, the help comes in.

00:07:56.795 --> 00:08:00.865
And he's a sports psychologist, and he teaches fundamentals of the mental game.

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So he trains like young athletes.

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And this for me was like a really good place to start because athletes and entrepreneurs need to have a lot of the same mindset techniques.

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And they have such a high level performance to begin with that when you You know, you're going past like accountability coaching or something like that, like they'll do the meditation, they'll actually do the breath work and they'll apply it and more open to these other ways of just having like a higher level of performance.

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And so that's how I got started.

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And it's kind of shifted here or there with different clients as it's gone on.

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Like I have some, some women entrepreneurs, which is great too.

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They are juggling so much.

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It's just really always interesting.

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That kind of.

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Every session is different.

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Like one day it's about the family, you know, the next week is about business strategy.

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And so.

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Really, it's been a long journey and I'm still kind of crafting it, but it's all very intuitive and it comes down to kind of the same, you know, fundamentals of mindset, meditation, presence and really tuning into intuition, uh, for guys will call that going with your gut, but like tuning into what that is and doing the exercises and, you know, getting the reps in to be able to apply that to like real life scenarios, to your relationships, to business, all of it.

00:09:17.416 --> 00:09:17.480
Yeah.

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Mm.

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So, interesting how you got a guy to be your mentor, and it works for both parties, because he's niching down to sports.

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Do you know the specific people that are coming to you that you're attracting?

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I'm actually curious.

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am I aware of, like, what I attract?

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So, it's funny you ask that, because I feel that I actually attract more men.

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And my intent going in was like, I really want to help women.

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Like, you know, I've obviously, I'm a woman.

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Like, I don't know if we can still say that, but like, I am a woman.

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Um, I'm sure.

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But like, I was like, you know, this is a really good, like, and it's it's interesting because I do attract a lot of, a lot of men and I had a new client come to me a couple of days ago and it was.

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It's from a past real estate or past real estate client in commercial real estate.

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And these guys are like high level excess, like they're worth like lots and lots of millions of dollars and they really just don't have anyone to talk to.

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And so they're so fascinated by like this new niche that I'm in and they're like, I really want to set up a session.

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And for me that.

00:10:23.215 --> 00:10:28.684
That brings me a lot of joy because I'm like, wow, like one, they trust me enough to open up to me, which is like the best.

00:10:28.695 --> 00:10:33.384
And two, I know that whatever I'm giving them back is what they really need.

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And that there's a reason that that connection took place.

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And so it kind of is an honor to like some of the past things I've done to be able to bring that into the future.

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And like help them through some personal stuff.

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Like, I've just never gotten this off my chest in like 40 years.

00:10:48.649 --> 00:10:49.960
And I'm like, that's why I'm here.

00:10:50.299 --> 00:10:51.600
You know, like, let's talk about it.

00:10:51.600 --> 00:10:52.919
Like, no judgment, right?

00:10:52.919 --> 00:10:54.340
Like, creating that space.

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So, it's been mostly men.

00:10:55.690 --> 00:11:00.610
And I think the reason is like, something that I actually teach is energy.

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And the ying and the yang, the polarity, right?

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Feminine energy, masculine energy.

00:11:06.649 --> 00:11:11.309
And I know myself, I have a lot more masculine energy than feminine.

00:11:11.309 --> 00:11:16.649
Like, I look feminine, whatever, but like, in the environments I've been in, have been much more yang.

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And so you adapt to that.

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And you attract more of like, like attracting like.

00:11:21.409 --> 00:11:41.495
And so it's interesting that I've seen the board and sometimes I'll take some time to develop the more inside so that there is that balance and then I'll see like that call for a woman or that collaboration opportunity and it all comes down to energy and it's just it's really cool to like see that apply and then also teach it to people.

00:11:41.995 --> 00:11:49.455
And I think it's really important, especially now, to get in touch with that yin versus that yang.

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Because one's black, one's white, and they spiral.

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And I feel like what we're bombarded with...

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from social media, a lot of mainstream stuff, a lot of agenda like stuff is more of like a gray circle.

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You're not really sure what yin is.

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You're not really sure what yang is.

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And people are crossing over and pushing people to one side.

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They want their yin disguised as a yang and reverse.

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And I feel like your work is Definitely important, especially when you're helping people balance that out and step into that power because each side, right, definitely has its power.

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And the grass is not necessarily always greener on the other side.

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Look at your own grass, look at your own yin, your own yang, and it has a purpose.

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It's about like, you know, getting connected with yourself, right?

00:12:44.284 --> 00:12:49.674
Like, do you, do you, do you, um, in saying that, do you want to add anything to that?

00:12:49.730 --> 00:12:51.570
I mean, I just think it's something that.

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The more aware of it, we become and the more people learn this, the more opportunity there are for like deeper level and authentic relationships and connection because you see it all the time, especially like, you know, people who come to me in the relationship realm, like women, women who are like high power and like you're just crushing in their business.

00:13:08.845 --> 00:13:11.375
They're like, why do I keep like attracting these wimpy guys?

00:13:11.404 --> 00:13:16.284
And to me, I'm like, it's so obvious, but to them they don't understand the process of it.

00:13:16.284 --> 00:13:16.595
Right.

00:13:16.934 --> 00:13:18.985
And it's, it's the same with like anything else.

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It's like, you know, it, If you're unaware of these things, you're going through life unconsciously in any area, like, uh, whether it's business or relationships or even friendships, family dynamics, like with siblings and parents, like if you just hone in on this and really like work with it, because it's going to be different person to person.

00:13:40.434 --> 00:13:47.215
And scenario to scenario, like someone might be more yin in one area of your life and yang in another where it's like, Hey, try the opposite.

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Let's see what happens.

00:13:49.205 --> 00:13:57.875
So I think it's really, you know, something that as we start to learn more about we'll see people get a lot, get a lot from it.

00:13:58.375 --> 00:14:14.855
And now, since you're in this niche, this area of helping people on the mental side of things, first of all, do you consider yourself an empath and identify with that area of just beingness?

00:14:14.995 --> 00:14:20.565
I'm definitely an empath, and, uh, beyond that I'd say I'm a little bit of an intuitive.

00:14:20.644 --> 00:14:24.044
And, you know, growing up you don't really understand what that means.

00:14:24.164 --> 00:14:28.315
And it makes it, I think, well, it adds, of course.

00:14:28.725 --> 00:14:31.975
But you don't realize that not everyone sees the world that way.

00:14:32.595 --> 00:14:38.605
And so you have to be careful, you know, when you're younger, you don't understand, right, like, you feel everything.

00:14:38.615 --> 00:14:40.855
Like, when I was younger, I was, like, crying all the time.

00:14:41.825 --> 00:14:42.835
Like, really, like, what's wrong?

00:14:42.875 --> 00:14:46.095
Like, I don't know, like, this happens, like, cause you feel it, right?

00:14:46.495 --> 00:14:52.784
And so you have to understand how to, like, It's really important to have that empathy because that's the connection point, right?

00:14:52.784 --> 00:14:54.154
Like that's what life's about.

00:14:54.264 --> 00:14:55.174
And so it's a gift.

00:14:55.174 --> 00:15:00.514
It's a blessing, but also how to make sure to protect yourself to not be over forgiving.

00:15:00.754 --> 00:15:09.495
I don't like the word boundaries, but to have ways to make sure that you're recharging and, you know, making sure you're giving back to yourself a little bit, especially in coaching.

00:15:09.514 --> 00:15:13.434
It's like you have hour long sessions and you're taking on all of this stuff.

00:15:13.434 --> 00:15:18.279
So like making sure that I get a nature or I'm eating well.

00:15:18.370 --> 00:15:20.080
Um, I'm taking the time to do yoga.

00:15:20.120 --> 00:15:25.820
Like that kind of thing is like number one because emphasis will like, I, you know, I'm guilty.

00:15:25.820 --> 00:15:28.110
It'd be like, you give and you give and you give, and you're holding space.

00:15:28.129 --> 00:15:31.909
And then it's like, you don't always hold that same space for yourself.

00:15:31.950 --> 00:15:33.909
And so that's something I've had to learn.

00:15:34.409 --> 00:15:53.919
And you mentioned nature, you mentioned meditation, for those Out there that are listening and watching that are empaths and business owners are looking to get into business Uh, what other things do you recommend that or has worked for you that can help you?

00:15:54.409 --> 00:15:57.500
Hold that space keep your energy without draining.

00:15:57.575 --> 00:15:58.245
Absolutely.

00:15:58.254 --> 00:16:13.955
So sometimes it's really simple things, and I just had this conversation actually yesterday, um, with another business owner, and he was saying, you know, I was starting to feel like I was getting sick, and I had to give myself a lighter morning, and it was really, really difficult.

00:16:14.054 --> 00:16:15.794
He was like, I got stressed out about it.

00:16:15.845 --> 00:16:18.835
Like, I didn't want to take the time to relax.

00:16:19.245 --> 00:16:24.654
And I think as entrepreneurs, sometimes we equate rest with laziness.

00:16:25.450 --> 00:16:30.990
And so when you reframe that as, no, this is act by pulling back right that yin and the yang.

00:16:31.039 --> 00:16:33.549
I'm actually allowing myself to propel forward.

00:16:33.820 --> 00:16:37.750
So like if you feel that right, that's also like tapping into your intuition.

00:16:38.205 --> 00:16:39.105
Take the time.

00:16:39.134 --> 00:16:45.965
Give yourself that space because then when you come back and you're feeling energized, you're going to be able to perform so much better.

00:16:46.254 --> 00:16:50.495
And the couple hours that you were going to try to like get through that work where it was going to be your best.

00:16:51.004 --> 00:16:55.375
It would have been better if you rested and then did it in an hour when you're feeling like 110%.

00:16:55.835 --> 00:16:57.735
So I would say one is really rest.

00:16:58.000 --> 00:17:20.609
And that's one personally that I've always struggled with for all those reasons I just said and then on top of that, it's less technology, which is the toughest because we're connected all the time, but really making sure that you leave it in another room, like having a cut off time, having connection with certain people like your spouse without any electronics anywhere, like even the TV, like no TV.

00:17:21.230 --> 00:17:36.769
Getting outside grounding is a big one, like just Feeling your feet in the earth and there's like a bunch of science that I can go into on that I won't go into all of it, but like feeling the earth right that's grounding Getting their waters flow.

00:17:36.789 --> 00:17:51.285
So knowing literally what your intent is before you go outside What you need could be the ground could be water could be sunlight right vitamin D Simple stuff, but like really, really like making it a priority would be like where I start with that.

00:17:51.525 --> 00:17:52.714
That's like level one.

00:17:53.095 --> 00:17:55.325
For a level two, I'd say like start meditating.

00:17:55.325 --> 00:17:59.105
Like, you know, figure out how to relax and like feel that in your body.

00:17:59.154 --> 00:18:05.454
And then if you want to even like go up a level from there, it's visualizing certain colors or visualizations.

00:18:05.454 --> 00:18:09.345
And like having, okay, I have this event, what do I want it to look like?

00:18:09.355 --> 00:18:11.234
And just like playing it like a movie.

00:18:11.234 --> 00:18:12.515
Like how do you do that?

00:18:12.595 --> 00:18:14.954
And uh, feeling into it.

00:18:15.454 --> 00:18:23.480
I like the uh the meditation of Doing a movie and then just really seeing it, right?

00:18:23.480 --> 00:18:25.619
That's a lot of co creation going into that.

00:18:25.619 --> 00:18:26.470
A lot of visual.

00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:28.299
A lot of doing it before it's done.

00:18:28.640 --> 00:18:29.359
I love that.

00:18:29.920 --> 00:18:32.339
Going back to the grounding, right?

00:18:32.839 --> 00:18:44.480
Did you know that running water, especially waterfalls, emits some of the most negative ions that helps ground you out of all things?

00:18:44.980 --> 00:18:49.190
And then I believe also the movement of the trees, right?

00:18:49.210 --> 00:18:54.029
So, I love hiking when I was the most stressed.

00:18:54.589 --> 00:18:57.559
And my wife and I, when we're both stressed and we're like, I don't know what to do.

00:18:57.569 --> 00:18:59.559
Like, it's just, there's just too much going on.

00:18:59.559 --> 00:19:04.660
We go to the beach and we walk barefoot right on the, you know, where it's wet.

00:19:05.150 --> 00:19:06.470
Right before the water, you know.

00:19:07.140 --> 00:19:08.609
That stuff is amazing.

00:19:08.640 --> 00:19:10.200
So, yeah, I'm right there with you.

00:19:10.849 --> 00:19:11.369
Um,

00:19:11.444 --> 00:19:14.734
I'm just really, I know you're moving on to that, but I'm a huge hiker too.

00:19:14.734 --> 00:19:18.654
And what you said about the trees, just like tying it back to my grandfather.

00:19:18.654 --> 00:19:24.164
I was always like my spiritual guide and like, he really was like this guy knew about all this stuff.

00:19:24.194 --> 00:19:26.440
Like before it was like, Known.

00:19:26.440 --> 00:19:29.170
I don't know how but he did.

00:19:29.170 --> 00:19:31.990
And so I learned at a young age it would go out and we'd hug the trees.

00:19:32.049 --> 00:19:33.220
And that sounds crazy, right?

00:19:33.220 --> 00:19:34.420
Like go outside and hug a tree.

00:19:34.420 --> 00:19:36.130
Like just, yeah.

00:19:36.134 --> 00:19:45.700
Like, oh, you're like, there's like so much that comes up, but there's, you're getting energy from the tree and like there is something to that where it's like you're connecting with nature.

00:19:45.789 --> 00:19:48.170
And so I'm with you, big, big hiker.

00:19:48.670 --> 00:19:49.569
Yeah, I love hiking.

00:19:49.700 --> 00:19:50.259
Love it.

00:19:50.819 --> 00:19:52.660
With being an empath, right?

00:19:53.160 --> 00:19:55.920
How does that affect your interaction?

00:19:56.855 --> 00:20:06.394
When I'm trying to get to that networking life as an option, entrepreneur, you're an empath, you know it, you know that you can absorb energy, you know you're intuitive, right?

00:20:06.954 --> 00:20:12.974
And now it's time to network, to meet other people, and to sort out who you're gonna be friends with, who's...

00:20:13.779 --> 00:20:18.920
Who you're not going to vibe with and I know, you know, that could be draining.

00:20:19.019 --> 00:20:20.799
So what has worked for you?

00:20:20.799 --> 00:20:25.480
Because I remember we met at a networking event and you're like, I hate going to networking events.

00:20:25.869 --> 00:20:32.190
If, but I know that it's one of those things where as long as you find the right people and you know what you're doing, like you can do it.

00:20:32.190 --> 00:20:33.829
But I do feel like that.

00:20:34.329 --> 00:20:36.559
Actually, I did talk to somebody who is an empath.

00:20:37.019 --> 00:20:40.299
But doesn't like to go to networking events, and they just don't any advice.

00:20:40.309 --> 00:20:40.829
What would you tell

00:20:40.865 --> 00:20:41.825
I've got a couple of things.

00:20:41.825 --> 00:20:43.654
And first of all, yes, I hate it.

00:20:44.154 --> 00:20:46.815
And it's funny because people always say, I'm like, I'm shy.

00:20:46.815 --> 00:20:48.325
Like, I'm like, I don't want to go.

00:20:48.325 --> 00:20:49.555
I'd rather be in a one on one.

00:20:49.565 --> 00:20:50.974
And they're like, you shy.

00:20:50.974 --> 00:20:54.174
I'm like, yes, I hate going to these things.

00:20:54.674 --> 00:21:00.474
But just putting in the reps and doing it and going and just like kind of giving yourself a pep talk in the car, right?

00:21:00.474 --> 00:21:01.944
Like, I'll be like, Oh, I got tired.

00:21:01.944 --> 00:21:02.795
I could be doing this.

00:21:02.795 --> 00:21:03.984
But like, let's just go.

00:21:04.015 --> 00:21:04.515
Let's see.

00:21:04.515 --> 00:21:06.825
Like, there could be one connection that changes my life.

00:21:07.325 --> 00:21:08.484
And then you get in there.

00:21:08.694 --> 00:21:12.265
And it can be overwhelming because there's all these different people.

00:21:12.265 --> 00:21:13.855
There's these different conversations.

00:21:14.174 --> 00:21:31.144
And the advice that I would give is it depends on like what works for you, but some things could be just find the other person who feels or looks like they're experiencing the same thing because there's other people who are also doing that, who are business owners, because it is an advantage to be an empath who's a business.

00:21:31.424 --> 00:21:32.184
It's huge.

00:21:32.184 --> 00:21:36.394
There's a lot of success in it and they're going through the same thing you're going through.

00:21:36.634 --> 00:21:45.005
So find kind of that person and you might have a really deep conversation with them and that's going to be like enough for you to be like, okay, I feel full.

00:21:45.474 --> 00:21:50.194
Another thing is if I just don't feel like talking to anyone, I'll just like go to the bar.

00:21:50.194 --> 00:21:57.884
I'll go stand somewhere and wait for who gets attracted to me because sometimes they're looking for that and they can feel it in you.

00:21:57.924 --> 00:22:05.904
And so it kind of takes the stress out of like going and starting a conversation if it doesn't feel like that's what you need to do at that time.

00:22:06.404 --> 00:22:35.170
It's interesting how you switch it up and Interesting that you mentioned something that goes against like the rules or what you would Logically think going into a networking event I'm gonna go and talk to the person that everybody's talking to or someone you're going most people are told to look at And to judge based off of your, your posture, how they speak, and you're saying, go to someone who looks like they're not feeling it right now.

00:22:35.609 --> 00:22:40.450
And as an empath, it's such a huge advantage to be so because.

00:22:40.990 --> 00:22:42.839
You got that intuition on your side.

00:22:43.319 --> 00:22:44.690
You're not just surface.

00:22:44.930 --> 00:22:46.940
And I know we all have that intuition.

00:22:47.140 --> 00:22:49.890
I just feel like an empath trusts it more.

00:22:49.960 --> 00:22:52.259
Instead of pushing it off to the side.

00:22:52.259 --> 00:22:56.029
So it looks like you're saying trust it more even if it goes against the

00:22:56.105 --> 00:22:56.795
Totally.

00:22:56.825 --> 00:22:58.555
No, you have, you have to trust in that.

00:22:58.555 --> 00:23:03.644
And I've, I mean, I've, I've been doing it a lot this year, especially and like in the past.

00:23:03.664 --> 00:23:12.285
And I found that those people, those people end up being friends or they end up being the ones who come to your event or whatever, or like end up collaborating in a business sense.

00:23:12.285 --> 00:23:21.174
Like, There's some saying and I'm going to totally botch it, but it's like something about like the loudest person in the room being at least wise, right?

00:23:21.174 --> 00:23:28.424
Like, and sometimes like those people who are quiet, like they have so much that you could learn from and you would just never know.

00:23:28.424 --> 00:23:31.644
And so like networking opportunities, I've had to reframe it myself.

00:23:31.644 --> 00:23:34.055
And I'd say for empaths, you have to reframe it where it's like.

00:23:34.555 --> 00:23:35.615
It could change your life.

00:23:35.625 --> 00:23:36.444
It really can.

00:23:36.505 --> 00:23:46.355
And just getting past that, okay, this, you know, this might be something that's putting me out of my comfort zone, or might be draining, like, there's something positive that you're gonna get from it.

00:23:46.625 --> 00:23:49.855
And who knows, you might be feeling like, you know, frisky one day, and you just...

00:23:50.105 --> 00:23:51.634
End up being the life of the party.

00:23:51.634 --> 00:23:55.684
Like you just like go and you talk to everyone and that might be like, wow, that's a huge win for me.

00:23:56.015 --> 00:23:59.005
And I have this one client and she struggles with this so much.

00:23:59.325 --> 00:24:01.345
And she's started practicing it.

00:24:01.375 --> 00:24:09.505
We started practicing it in her children's mother's group where I'm like, I need to just go have a conversation with someone and not even have a plan.

00:24:09.865 --> 00:24:10.914
Like, no plan about this conversation.

00:24:10.934 --> 00:24:13.494
You just go into the conversation and whatever happens, happens.

00:24:13.505 --> 00:24:15.234
And at first she was like, I'm not doing that.

00:24:15.244 --> 00:24:16.144
Are you crazy?

00:24:16.144 --> 00:24:17.644
Like, these moms are so mean.

00:24:19.105 --> 00:24:20.595
And then she would start texting me.

00:24:20.595 --> 00:24:21.505
She'd be like, I did it.

00:24:21.505 --> 00:24:25.295
Like, I just went into the, like, I was like nervous, but like, it felt so good.

00:24:25.305 --> 00:24:32.974
And so it's like the same thing with networking where, like, give it to yourself as a homework assignment and have it be a win for the day of, like, your business list.

00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:38.519
feeling really good, and then it'll just be more natural and less draining.

00:24:38.579 --> 00:24:41.569
And when it is, you know, just offset it with that recharge time.

00:24:42.069 --> 00:24:43.880
So something just popped up into my mind.

00:24:44.769 --> 00:24:47.049
How do you handle, let's talk about networking.

00:24:47.380 --> 00:24:54.250
How do you handle Somebody that you're talking with, it starts off with a good conversation.

00:24:54.279 --> 00:24:54.369
I

00:24:54.519 --> 00:24:54.950
I

00:24:55.069 --> 00:24:56.069
know where I'm going with this.

00:24:57.983 --> 00:25:00.163
This is what it's like to talk to another empath, right?

00:25:00.433 --> 00:25:00.973
So...

00:25:01.278 --> 00:25:04.209
I'm gonna continue just to be clear, right?

00:25:04.209 --> 00:25:13.388
I don't want to assume everything, but yeah, you're, you're, you're talking to somebody and then it's just, it's this weird barrier that starts to build up where you just feel awkward.

00:25:13.388 --> 00:25:16.598
You're like, I'm not getting like a good vibe.

00:25:16.659 --> 00:25:18.419
I'm not getting, getting a good response.

00:25:18.439 --> 00:25:22.138
I was talking to somebody and we were talking about like, I think dreams or something like that.

00:25:22.148 --> 00:25:26.568
Like I was trying to find commonality and it just kept on like blank stare.

00:25:26.568 --> 00:25:26.608
Yeah.

00:25:26.838 --> 00:25:27.239
Right?

00:25:27.429 --> 00:25:35.439
So what do you do when you get the blank stare when you're trying to find commonality with somebody in your networking, if that's

00:25:35.564 --> 00:25:36.054
Totally.

00:25:36.134 --> 00:25:47.173
So two things that I would say, and this is something the first one is something my mentor taught me and that I now teach as well, where it's like Sometimes people are just not gonna get it, and that's okay.

00:25:47.273 --> 00:25:50.743
You know, it's not like your job to like, kinda like, uh, like find that middle ground.

00:25:50.753 --> 00:25:53.463
Sometimes you're just here and there and there, and there isn't.

00:25:53.574 --> 00:25:56.044
It's just not gonna click, and that's fine.

00:25:56.173 --> 00:26:00.384
And so just kind of like accepting it, not taking it as like rejection, like whatever.

00:26:00.483 --> 00:26:01.344
Not your person.

00:26:01.403 --> 00:26:01.933
Someone else?

00:26:02.269 --> 00:26:03.338
totally gonna vibe with it.

00:26:03.338 --> 00:26:05.398
We'll talk to you about it for like four hours.

00:26:05.689 --> 00:26:06.638
And that's beautiful.

00:26:06.669 --> 00:26:08.269
That's like, you know, what it's all about.

00:26:08.749 --> 00:26:23.384
The second thing is like, if you're like in that conversation and for whatever reason, like you're feeling that happen, but there's still a reason that you like maybe need to talk to them or for whatever reason that conversation needs to to keep happening is to just switch the script, right?

00:26:23.384 --> 00:26:26.144
Like, take that second, be like, okay, whatever.

00:26:26.193 --> 00:26:29.094
This doesn't need to be a super deep connected conversation.

00:26:29.094 --> 00:26:39.384
I'm not going to get that here and just talk about whatever it is that they want to talk about and just stay present with them in that conversation with like a genuine curiousness because they're not, you're not going down that road.

00:26:39.384 --> 00:26:42.094
You got to pick a different one if you're going to stay in the conversation.

00:26:42.594 --> 00:26:56.854
I see something also happening, and I'm sure it's happening with you, and you started talking about it a little bit, where you're, you're, you're identifying where the vibe is at, and you're like, you know what, this looks like more of me pulling out what they need.

00:26:57.173 --> 00:27:04.443
And how I can help and just listening and I feel like as an empath, tell me if this has happened to you, people just trust you more.

00:27:04.523 --> 00:27:15.644
It's like unconsciously they want to tell you more and then it gets to a point where you need to just let it be and then without draining, change the subject and say, you know, it's great talking with you.

00:27:15.644 --> 00:27:22.294
Let me just exchange information and then you start closing it down to move on because now they're just pouring themselves out and you don't want to.

00:27:22.794 --> 00:27:28.683
You know, unless you're a therapist, but like networking events, like people can hog your time, right?

00:27:29.243 --> 00:27:30.693
I have, I know what I do.

00:27:30.693 --> 00:27:39.294
I, I go for the contact because for me that signifies we're closing down the conversation because you're here to meet people.

00:27:39.483 --> 00:27:41.723
And then I move on and like, let's definitely stay in touch.

00:27:41.743 --> 00:27:43.054
I want to hear more about it.

00:27:43.344 --> 00:27:45.794
I'm going to go and say hi to some people that I know.

00:27:46.223 --> 00:27:47.403
Great talking with you.

00:27:48.384 --> 00:27:50.183
How do you close that conversation?

00:27:50.183 --> 00:27:59.463
Whether it be someone that is pouring themselves out to you because they need it or you vibe really well with somebody and you're fighting not to continue the conversation.

00:27:59.463 --> 00:28:02.423
Cause it's like as an empath, you're like, finally, someone I can vibe with.

00:28:02.453 --> 00:28:05.874
You're the fourth person and the other three people's just sucked.

00:28:06.733 --> 00:28:08.874
But you, let's go, let's keep going.

00:28:09.314 --> 00:28:11.324
How do you, how do you manage that time?

00:28:11.469 --> 00:28:14.469
So first of all, this happens to me all the time.

00:28:14.778 --> 00:28:18.409
And honestly, it's an honor because again, it's like, people trust you.

00:28:18.409 --> 00:28:19.419
They want to talk to you.

00:28:19.419 --> 00:28:21.618
And so you want to be able to hold space for that.

00:28:21.648 --> 00:28:23.189
And as an empath that comes naturally, right?

00:28:23.189 --> 00:28:24.659
You're like, yeah, tell me everything.

00:28:24.659 --> 00:28:25.788
They're like, I've never opened up.

00:28:25.808 --> 00:28:28.338
I've never told anyone this ever, but like X, Y, Z.

00:28:28.499 --> 00:28:31.759
But then it's like, Oh, my God, like you're an hour in and there's those other people.

00:28:32.368 --> 00:28:35.118
So I like your approach with the contact for sure.

00:28:35.348 --> 00:28:37.999
For me, it's easy because I can just be like, I'm so interested.

00:28:37.999 --> 00:28:38.808
I want to hear more.

00:28:38.828 --> 00:28:40.338
Let's set up a session at this time.

00:28:40.719 --> 00:28:43.459
Like, let's talk on the phone, you know, free of charge, whatever.

00:28:43.838 --> 00:28:46.028
And so that's really easy as a coach.

00:28:46.078 --> 00:28:49.528
But for someone else, I've done this in the past where.

00:28:50.278 --> 00:28:59.989
If you have, like, an accountability partner or person who's there at the event, who kind of knows you, who can get you out of those situations, sometimes it's fun to have, like, a teammate.

00:29:00.038 --> 00:29:07.128
Like, I was at this event the other day, and this guy was, like, going on and on, and, like, I could tell he was, it was getting non business oriented.

00:29:07.128 --> 00:29:13.548
Like, he was, like, Let's go like whatever it started turning in a different direction, and I'm like Like started to get nervous.

00:29:13.548 --> 00:29:43.409
I'm like no like this is not my intent And my friend noticed he was like you know come here like come take a picture with us And I was like I'm so sorry like I have to go do this because like The other person like can pick up on that so if you have someone else in your inner circle who you know can kind of Like you know like bob and weave It's sometimes okay to, like, have a team player like, help you in those scenarios because it's very difficult, I think, for any empath to, like, make their way out, like, you're, you've gone so deep and you're, like, how do I make my way out of this hole without it being, like, rude or abrupt, right?

00:29:43.419 --> 00:29:52.388
Like, that's always the thought, and I, that's, like, a really quick one, I'd say, but, like, secondly, finding another time to do it so that you're getting the most out of the network event.

00:29:52.888 --> 00:29:59.929
Yeah, and I'm glad we are conversation went this way organically because I noticed them like you have an event.

00:30:00.509 --> 00:30:05.009
The goal was 150 people and 100 of those people you met.

00:30:05.509 --> 00:30:06.548
That's huge.

00:30:06.818 --> 00:30:12.769
That means you're building really good, deep relationships with people when you network, right?

00:30:13.028 --> 00:30:16.199
And when I'm curious how long ago.

00:30:16.644 --> 00:30:19.013
Did you decide you were going to do this 150 event?

00:30:19.013 --> 00:30:20.743
I'm trying to think of a timeline on

00:30:20.838 --> 00:30:21.669
It was April.

00:30:22.169 --> 00:30:23.108
Okay, so

00:30:23.304 --> 00:30:23.894
July, August.

00:30:24.153 --> 00:30:25.344
So it's been six months.

00:30:26.308 --> 00:30:39.058
and so six months, so not many people connect with 100 people in less than six months let alone have them say I'm down to invest into a project that you're doing, an event, right?

00:30:39.558 --> 00:30:40.709
That's fantastic.

00:30:41.209 --> 00:30:52.429
Knowing that I feel like that brings a lot of background and value to a lot of what we said because there's a reason why I'm asking the I'm asking you these questions because you did something like that, right?

00:30:53.298 --> 00:31:05.749
And I hope anybody listening can appreciate that and take advantage of it because we're in a season where I feel a lot of entrepreneurs and paths conscious creators that side of the fence.

00:31:06.513 --> 00:31:08.993
That space is opening up more and more and more.

00:31:09.023 --> 00:31:17.074
More people are waking up because there's a lot of variables that are happening, whether it be stars, energy.

00:31:17.074 --> 00:31:25.644
There's a lot of we can go into that another time, but it's evident people are waking up and they're asking questions and there's a higher level of stress.

00:31:25.733 --> 00:31:40.564
So if you're in that field of assisting people with that, you know, health, uh, innovation, any, honestly, anything, any empath that's an entrepreneur, you're going to do very, very well.

00:31:40.594 --> 00:31:43.023
So I want to encourage anybody listening.

00:31:43.223 --> 00:31:45.344
If you're thinking of it, go for it.

00:31:45.784 --> 00:31:53.074
We spoke a lot about networking why you got into what you're doing and the directions it's going.

00:31:53.263 --> 00:31:56.903
Is there anything that We might not have spoken about that.

00:31:56.903 --> 00:32:03.034
You want to kind of close out and just kind of like any last thoughts, any last advice for anybody.

00:32:03.439 --> 00:32:05.098
well, first of all, everything you said about...

00:32:05.699 --> 00:32:07.929
The timing of people starting to wake up.

00:32:07.949 --> 00:32:10.169
I mean, I would need a whole nother segment on that.

00:32:10.169 --> 00:32:18.598
And maybe we can go into it because, you know, there's like math and science and even like statistics and stuff that's come out about like what's going on right now.

00:32:18.628 --> 00:32:20.259
And then from the energy standpoint.

00:32:20.759 --> 00:32:31.519
such an opportunity for anyone who's kind of been playing it smaller in the shadows or emphasis or like the outsiders to really like stand up and have a voice and say, Hey, like, you know, this is my gift.

00:32:31.568 --> 00:32:32.669
This is why I'm here.

00:32:32.699 --> 00:32:35.709
Let me use it to help other people and to raise the vibration.

00:32:35.729 --> 00:32:36.128
Right?

00:32:36.519 --> 00:32:39.699
I think there's like never in human history.

00:32:39.699 --> 00:32:44.489
I don't feel like that has happened at the level that it's about to and has been happening.

00:32:44.499 --> 00:32:54.098
So I would say you know, if you feel that or if that resonates with you to really, like, take that message and use it to, like, you know, step into who you're supposed to be.

00:32:54.509 --> 00:32:55.949
That's all I have to say, really.

00:32:56.449 --> 00:32:57.328
Authenticity.

00:32:57.818 --> 00:32:58.929
Yeah, and use it, right?

00:32:58.939 --> 00:33:00.298
Like, use that uniqueness.

00:33:00.298 --> 00:33:02.919
Like, we all have things about ourselves that...

00:33:03.594 --> 00:33:26.604
We don't like or that we don't want the world to see like everyone has that resume self versus that shadow self like that's normal That's the yin and the yang like it goes back to the same thing and I think for a long time everything's been super super surface level and Now, you know tuning into those other parts and bringing them out into the light is going to be what changes the world in a positive way

00:33:27.104 --> 00:33:27.864
Absolutely.

00:33:28.403 --> 00:33:37.634
And I know we can go, uh, If you want, I do feel like we might have piqued some interest as in, Why do we feel like, uh, you know, the world is changing?

00:33:37.963 --> 00:33:40.294
Uh, do you have anything that you want to add to that?

00:33:40.294 --> 00:33:50.213
I think that's a really key thing to help somebody who's in that state where they're like, It's easy to think, you know what, there's opportunity out there, I know.

00:33:50.713 --> 00:33:52.104
Networking events are coming.

00:33:52.548 --> 00:33:59.368
But do I really want to go to a networking event if there's, let's say, 50 people and like 2 people are going to be vibing with me?

00:33:59.368 --> 00:34:06.949
Like, let's, let's set it in and encourage someone to believe and understand that, no, surprisingly, there's a lot more of that.

00:34:06.959 --> 00:34:10.184
And maybe give them a little reason why you think that.

00:34:10.324 --> 00:34:20.373
Well, I think that because I've experienced it a lot more lately myself, where it's like, You start to make these like connections and again, as an empath, they're going to be deeper to begin with, right?

00:34:20.403 --> 00:34:25.693
And so you start to form like these groups where you're like, wow, like, you know, I could feel into that.

00:34:25.704 --> 00:34:28.824
That's something that resonates with me and you think it's not going to happen.

00:34:28.824 --> 00:34:31.164
And then you experience it over and over and over.

00:34:31.184 --> 00:34:33.353
And you say, wow, like all these people are awake.

00:34:33.353 --> 00:34:38.034
Like, you know, this is something that like, did I bring this out of them or is that already there?

00:34:38.103 --> 00:34:40.134
And then you start to.

00:34:40.353 --> 00:34:47.103
Create these connections and you don't know where they're gonna go and just if there's like powers and numbers, right?

00:34:47.103 --> 00:34:54.213
Like you need a team like it's not gonna happen on your own And again, that's a hard thing because you prefer to be I prefer to be alone.

00:34:54.273 --> 00:35:04.699
I love my alone time I need at least a couple hours a day like because I need that time but like when you go out and you're connecting with other people and you're seeing like This person has this idea.

00:35:05.009 --> 00:35:06.599
This person has this skill set.

00:35:06.778 --> 00:35:07.668
I'm not good at that.

00:35:07.768 --> 00:35:10.648
I don't know how to do that or like, I don't know that person.

00:35:10.648 --> 00:35:15.168
I don't know whatever, because we all have our strengths and our weaknesses.

00:35:15.268 --> 00:35:21.998
And so by creating community and really connecting with these people, you're only building together.

00:35:22.039 --> 00:35:23.719
it's a numbers game, it really is

00:35:24.648 --> 00:35:31.889
so, um, I want to give you some time to share how people can contact you if someone vibes with you for sure.

00:35:32.309 --> 00:35:33.429
Connect with Mallory.

00:35:33.648 --> 00:35:36.449
What are you working on right now and what would you like people to know,

00:35:36.449 --> 00:35:39.398
So the biggest thing right now for me is obviously the event.

00:35:39.429 --> 00:35:41.429
We're coming up really, really quickly.

00:35:41.478 --> 00:35:42.449
It's september 30th.

00:35:42.478 --> 00:35:46.568
so if anyone's interested in more information on that, just go to malchila.Net.

00:35:46.759 --> 00:35:52.259
There's a whole page called the fall recharge retreat, a bunch of different activities and speakers.

00:35:52.259 --> 00:35:54.528
Like I said, You would also pick up the phone.

00:35:54.568 --> 00:35:56.599
I'm super, super old school.

00:35:56.659 --> 00:36:03.659
So the best way to get me is always by the phone and it's 203 273 5256.

00:36:04.128 --> 00:36:05.458
Like, give me a call.

00:36:05.518 --> 00:36:06.489
I'm always going to answer.

00:36:06.489 --> 00:36:08.398
If I don't answer, I'll call you back.

00:36:08.449 --> 00:36:10.248
But you know, we'll talk about the event.

00:36:10.278 --> 00:36:12.628
We could talk about some coaching that I do as well.

00:36:12.628 --> 00:36:13.748
If you're interested in that.

00:36:14.159 --> 00:36:16.309
Otherwise, uh, Instagram.

00:36:16.309 --> 00:36:18.329
It's Mallory underscore Chilla underscore.

00:36:18.778 --> 00:36:19.219
Awesome.

00:36:19.648 --> 00:36:22.909
And it's a nice location.

00:36:23.088 --> 00:36:28.938
I mean, near the lake, nature, you got some interesting activities.

00:36:29.599 --> 00:36:31.739
I'm excited because I'm going, so.

00:36:32.324 --> 00:36:40.634
If anybody, uh, now that you have her phone number, she just threw it out there, give her a call or you can contact me, whatever floats your boat.

00:36:41.213 --> 00:36:41.804
Very cool.

00:36:41.813 --> 00:36:42.873
I'm excited for this event.

00:36:42.914 --> 00:36:45.871
I'm excited for, um, collabing with you in the future.

00:36:45.907 --> 00:36:53.876
It's funny because we're talking about networking and I ran into Mallory at a networking event and I'm like, I could have sworn I spoke to her before.

00:36:54.186 --> 00:36:56.376
And I approached it like that.

00:36:56.376 --> 00:36:56.786
I was like, Oh yeah.

00:36:56.786 --> 00:36:57.666
How's it going?

00:36:57.666 --> 00:36:59.177
Like we meet again.

00:36:59.427 --> 00:37:03.056
But now that I'm thinking of it, I'm like, never, never spoke to this woman before in my life.

00:37:03.327 --> 00:37:04.217
And that is the.

00:37:04.637 --> 00:37:19.987
Funniest thing because I still now I'm like no that was the first time no that was and and we connected really well But I always say if you've run into somebody and you're like I could have sworn I seen them before That's a huge sign.

00:37:20.086 --> 00:37:20.637
Go for it.

00:37:20.936 --> 00:37:21.436
Go for it.

00:37:21.737 --> 00:37:23.067
Mallory, thank you for coming on.

00:37:23.197 --> 00:37:25.476
This is an awesome, this was an awesome conversation.

00:37:25.476 --> 00:37:34.626
Thanks for all the advice that I'm sure the audience is going to love it, especially if you're an entrepreneur and empath, conscious creator, all the above a truth seeker.

00:37:35.297 --> 00:37:35.967
It works.

00:37:36.286 --> 00:37:37.237
Thank you for coming on the show.

00:37:37.452 --> 00:37:41.012
John, thank you for having me, and I'm glad we both decided to go to that event.

00:37:41.452 --> 00:37:47.452
We're able to connect there, and I'm hoping for a lot more collaboration and to do some more conversations in the future.
Mallory Chila Profile Photo

Mallory Chila

Intuitive Performance Coach

Mallory Chila is an intuitive performance coach who creates opportunities for inspiration and growth through coaching, speaking, and events in order to help others succeed. She focuses on holistic psychology to empower entrepreneurs to step into their higher and authentic selves.