Once upon a time youth sports were the driving force behind all that is good with youngsters finding their way in life starting at a very young age. It taught boys and girls alike to develop camaraderie, teamwork, tolerance, sportsmanship, character and how to agonize with defeat and celebrate victory. It was not perfect, as nothing has ever been, but it was a staple in many lives that created eternal memories and friendships.
Over the last several years, as many parents are, I have been deeply rooted in my 12 year old son’s sports. He plays ice hockey and baseball. Both of which he has done since around 4 years old. I have no delusions of grandeur for him and neither does my wife. We just want to be as much a part of his life as we possibly can and support him as he grows through his childhood into being a teen. As many of you know, today’s youth sports are quite different than they were 20, 10, even just a few years ago. Kids emulate what they see. They do what society perceives to be “ok” and garners others' attention and oftentimes admiration. We have created this environment and now it is, in my opinion, spiraling out of control because adults are not correcting the wrong.
Just a few short months ago, I was attending my son’s end of the year hockey tournament. We were playing in the finals against a team we had beaten twice prior and as recently as the first game of the tournament. During the finals one of our players, a 12 year old, got a penalty for roughing. At the 12U level it is as slight as a shoulder into an opponent. WHile he was making his way to the penalty box, 3 grown women were harassing him. In fact they were yelling down at him as he was in the penalty box. After listening to them the entire game to this point I reached a breaking point. I approached them and told them they need to stop the harassment of a 12 year old in a youth hockey game. They refused and one of the women went so far as to push me back. AS she did so I could smell the strong odor of alcohol on her breath. You are correct, they were all drunk AT A YOUTH HOCKEY GAME, and acting like fans get at professional sporting events where alcohol is served. The manager came over and asked me what happened and I explained the harassment that had occurred and he asked them to leave the premises. As they walked past me, one of the women threw an entire glass of red wine in my face. I was not shocked. I expected it from them. What I didn’t expect at that time was the lack of recognition by the rest of their parents and fans or even coaches in attendance. Not one single person spoke with me about the situation and how it was a clear black mark on their organization. How they did not condone that behavior or how the actions of these three women were not representative of the program in which their children were involved in. After contacting USA Hockey and the head of their organization I got zero results. No apology or recognition of this behavior. What does that tell the children? Speaks volumes about adults' motivation to coach youth sports and parents' support of their children.
While coaching my son’s baseball game just recently I was tasked with being the person who man’s third base while we are batting and I do it with the same love and passion that I have always had with coaching whether it was high school football or youth soccer. AS the game unfolded it became evident that our team was not the better of the two this evening. In fact we were down by 8 runs after 1 inning. I can not contest coaching decisions as far as personnel from an opponent's standpoint however if you are pitching your best pitcher the entire game against a team that you have already beaten previously and are winning by 8 runs after one inning you may want to demonstrate some sort of comprehension in the youth sports realm and removed your best pitcher and replace him with someone who may be just breaking into this position. By the second inning we were losing 16-2 yet this team was continuing to steal bases and clearly wanted to demean our team. By the third inning they did change pitchers. A young man who was belligerent disrespecting our players last game and continued to do so this game. As the game concluded and the scoreboard read 17-2 the young man turned to our dugout, put a finger to his mouth and “shushed” our team from the mound. I once again had experienced enough of this display of inept coaching and approached their dugout questioning, “ Is this how you think you display sportsmanship and character? You teach and allow your kids to disrespect their opponent by running up the score then making hand gestures to throw it in their face that they have been demoralized by the game's outcome?” I was told to return to my dugout and worry about my team. I was told that we need to be better. I was told it is just Little League baseball. I was called out to a potential confrontation by their manager who was sitting several feet away from the dugout with a mask on because of what appeared to be a health concern. What didn’t happen was anyone acknowledging the poor sportsmanship or demonstration of bad character that was on full display. Adding to the frustration of the evening was a long standing member of our own Little League speaking to me as though I was a child and asking me once I walked away then returned to clean up the field “Weren’t you told to leave?”.
I don’t know how to fix this problem for others but I can firmly tell you that when I am involved, after years of coaching and putting my heart and soul into teaching children, teens or whoever I am working with how to present great character and sportsmanship you will always see that from my guys or it will be addressed, immediately! Let’s find a way to make youth sports great again.
-MM
