Ep. 35: Shaping Leaders on and off the Court: Insights from Coach Brook Cupps

Imagine kick-starting your day with a purposeful routine- one that enhances focus and intentionality and paves the way for a lasting legacy. That's precisely what Centerville High School Basketball Coach Brook Cupps shares in this enlightening episode, dwelling on morning rituals of meditating, journaling, and reciting a mantra. We also delve into the transformative impact of meditation and how he guides students in finding their unique purpose in life while ensuring they realize the best version of themselves.

Bio: Brook Cupps is the head basketball coach at Centerville High School. He also coached the elite-level Amateur Athletic Union (AAU) team that featured both his own son, Gabe, and the son of LeBron James, LeBron James Jr. In 2021, Coach Cupps led Centerville to its first-ever state championship.

Background: Coach Cupps is focused on using coaching and teaching as a platform to help kids live intentionally. In his book The Pursuit of Excellence, author Ryan Hawk described Coach as someone who embodies what it means to live true to your values and that he is more than a basketball coach. He instills in players the lessons of leadership and a thirst for excellence.

Show Notes:
Intro 00:00 – 01:48

Discussing the significance of the movie Patch Adams
01:50 –  02:47 Brook Cupps Patch Adams is one of my favorite movies. We use it in our leadership class. So I teach two leadership classes at Centerville, and I was able to write the curriculum for them. And kind of our capstone assignment or our end of the year assignment is to watch Patch Adams because I feel like... Most people haven't seen it for one. So kids haven't seen it. They're not familiar with it. It's pretty funny with Robin Williams, so that's entertaining. But the thing about Patch is that he lives true to his values, regardless of what society tells him he should be doing and how he should be living. And that's really the essence of what our Leadership 101 class is about, is trying to help kids have the self-awareness, establish a purpose, find the courage to live by the values that they feel are important, that they feel they were blessed with, and that they bring to the, you know, is unique to them that they bring to the world.

Values along with the meanings of Foxhole and the phrase Chop Chop
02:53 – 08:04 Brook Cupps Yeah, those are all pretty central to our program at Centerville. So my values are the values of our basketball program. So tough, passionate, unified, and thankful. We go a step further with those, and we define them by their behaviors. So we want people to know, like, OK, a lot of people, if you ask 20 people what tough is, you'll probably get 20 different answers. So in our program, tough is positive body language. So whatever you're going into, whether it's a job interview, a game, a workout, a practice, a day of school, conversation with your parents, we want you to have positive body language. Passionate is choosing extra work. I feel like anything that people are, if you're passionate about something, you're willing to go above and beyond. I think that's where all the separation lies in the extra. That's kind of how we define passionate and our guys are very good at that. And then unified for us is speaking and acting with urgency. So unified to me is more of a, is more of a vocal communication, a willingness to speak up for things that matter to the team. And so if I, I think life is a team sport. So if I see somebody, whether it's a friend of mine or a player of mine, accepting a standard, a below standard performance or behavior, and they just watch it, I think it's one of the most selfish things that can happen. So I try to impart in our guys that we want to uphold the standard. And a lot of that comes with just the willingness to call it out and address it. So speaking and acting with urgency. And then thankful is just about gratitude, showing your appreciation for where you are, the opportunities that you have, how lucky you are, just recognizing all the things you have to be grateful for. I think it's one of the most important things. I think it takes light to get away darkness, right? Clear darkness. So I think just focusing on that solves a lot of problems. Foxhole is a term we use. We actually do an exercise in our program where we just talk about foxhole teammates. You know more about foxholes than I do. We just have our guys actually, on a piece of paper, they'll say, OK, you're in a foxhole. There's one guy behind you and one guy on each side of you. Who are they? Like, who do you want in your foxhole? We do that as an exercise to kind of bring some awareness to guys, because some guys won't get mentioned. And I think it's a reflection on, like, when you strip away, oh, the friends and your buddy, like, who can you really count on? That's a different conversation and we want guys to think about how their actions impact other guys. And then personally, I have a group of friends that are my foxhole friends. I always describe it to our kids in leadership class. Those are the people that you can call at three o'clock in the morning, the car breaks down three hours away and they come get you. They don't ask questions and they don't look for excuses. And I think...I think as you get older, you realize how few of those people there really are. There's not a lot of them and there doesn't need to be. That's okay. And you have acquaintances, you have friends, but then you've got foxhole friends that are a different level of friendship. And we get into this thing with comparison and listening to everybody's opinion with social media and things like that. And I think one of the best ways to fight that is to focus on your foxhole. If your foxhole tells you that you suck or you're doing something stupid, then you're doing something stupid. You need to listen. If they're outside your foxhole...Probably just need to blow it off and ignore it. So it gives our guys kind of a filter for that. Chop Chop to us is we go on a retreat every year at the beginning of basketball season and all of our guys chop down a tree. The conversation as we go out to chop down the tree is how many swings do you think it's going to take you? All right, and they always guess ridiculously low because they've never chopped down a tree before. There'll be 200 swings in and they'll stop counting. They're taking off their gloves and they're like, it's going to take a lot more. And so our message to them, I think one of the things kids nowadays need to understand is delayed gratification and how consistency wins out. Just keep chopping, just keep showing up, keep doing the work, and things usually will find a way to work out. And so that's the message with that. Like you might hit that thing 300 times and...you might not even be halfway through yet. Keep swinging, like that's it. And so, we have a breakfast club at Centerville where we work out before school every day. And early in the year, I'll talk to the guys about like, a breakfast club today, you won't notice any difference. Probably this week a breakfast club, you won't notice any difference. Three years of breakfast club, you'll notice a difference. And so just trusting that process and continuing to swing. And we say it all the time. We just say, keep chopping. It's same for the duration of a game. Like we try to pressure the basketball and get into just body blows, man. Just keep chopping, keep chopping. That's what we're trying to do.

Importance of body language and non-verbal leadership skills that make people want to follow that leader
09:05 – 09:56 Brook Cupps I think it's critical. I like it. I always say your body language screams all the time, you can't hide it. It's a true look into what you really think, because you're going to let your guard down if you're faking it all the time. So you've got to get yourself to a place where you, for us it's not about you, like it's not about you. So the whole thing is, are there days that you're tired and you're sore and yeah, but you have a responsibility, you're on a team, this isn't just about you. You have a responsibility to other guys and you shouldn't be putting a burden on them to have to elevate their energy to offset yours. So do your job, bring your energy, help other guys out, see who you can serve.

How Brook Cupps creates space to think strategically
10:00 – 13:59 Brook Cupps That's a good question. I spend, first of all, I don't know, I don't know how you become self-aware with all the noise that's around all the time. If you don't spend any time in quiet just thinking, then your thoughts are just regurgitations of everybody else's thoughts. So how do you know what you really think? I think you have to spend that time. It's just a priority for me. It's no different than if I'm coaching a basketball team and I want my basketball team to rebound, then I have to spend time working on rebounding. If I want to have authentic thoughts and be self-aware of what I believe and genuine and authentic to that, then I have to make the time to do that. So I do it early in the morning. That's my time. Kind of, I get up at 4.45 and my time before everything gets rolling is where I try to lock a lot of that stuff in because it doesn't interfere with my family time and all that kind of stuff. So I would say that's the biggest thing. In terms of strategically thinking and being intentional about it, I mean, I have a journal, so like my morning routine is very scripted and it's the same every day. When it's not the same, I don't feel right about it. If I'm at a hotel or something's off, then I got to adjust. But I get up, do a couple of breaths, I pray, I work out, I meditate, I journal. And my journal has some prompts in it, which is kind of the strategic thinking part. So I make sure every day I reflect on my core values. Like, how did I do with those yesterday? And did anything stand out? I have a piece of my journal where I have kind of a mantra. It's a Bible verse that I just say to myself over and over. I just write it down every day. I laugh at fear, afraid of nothing. I will not shy away from the sword. I will not stand still when the trumpet sounds. So it's from the Bible and also from the last scene Secretariat, which is one of my favorite scenes in any movie. So for me, that just sets that mindset of like, I'm going to attack the day. I'm not going to let stuff just happen to me. For each of my core values, I have mantras that go with them, which are kind of, for me, I think of those as reset buttons. If I'm, complaining about something or catch myself being negative, then I say to myself, fight ready. Come on man, fight ready. That to me is positive body language. That's what toughness looks like, so fight ready. So I just write down, I am fight ready. I steal inches is my one for passion. I don't flinch is my one for being unified. And I show love is my one for thankful. So I write those down. Have prayer lists of who am I praying for, or I'm sorry, thankful list. Somebody, a person that I'm thankful for, something from the previous day that I was thankful for doing, something I'm looking forward to that day. Then I have a list of prayer, like people or things that I'm praying for. And then I have anything that was like story worthy from the previous day. I'm all about experiences and not really things. So like what did I do that was worth telling a story about? And so I write it down. I always think of those as like 50 years from now, my kids find my journals, they can flip through there and see like what was cool that I did that day. A lot of it's about them obviously, like stuff that's happening with us. But sometimes just take my dog for a walk and doing whatever. So that's really the strategic part of what I try to go through in my quiet time.

How the practice of mindfulness and strategic thinking has directly impacted his success on the court
15:21 – 16:38 Brook Cupps I think meditation is the bench press of mindfulness. Mindfulness is, to me, is being able to think about what you want to think about at the time. We get distracted so much, whether it's coaching or playing or just living, that if we're not intentional about our thoughts and can't ignore that and pay attention to that, I think we're compromising how good we can be in, and compromising our potential. We meditate with our team. In my leadership class, we meditate every day. And it's weird for some kids an odd thing until you get used to it. And even for some people, it doesn't have to be, and everybody thinks it doesn't really need to be that. You need to quiet your mind, turn off your phone, and just be able to hear your thoughts and recognize your thoughts. That's what it needs to be. Sometimes a few breaths will work. People get it kind of, out of whack a little bit. It's not really that complicated, but if you don't want to call it meditation, that's fine, but you've got to find it. Go sit on a rock by the river and be quiet. That's fine. But you have to allow things to be quiet for you at some point.

In the past five years, a new belief or behavior that has more improved Brook Cupps’ life
17:03 – 18:30 Brook Cupps I would say just an unintentionality about being present in the moment. I was not very good at that, probably five years ago. I was always going, I was always ready for the next thing. I was all, and a lot of times I missed out on, and I didn't appreciate what was actually happening at the time. I think, I think I've done much better with that. You know, my son going through our program and recognizing like, my daughter's graduating, my son's graduating, recognizing some of those things are coming to an end that are milestones in your life. You start to slow down and be like, man, I better appreciate this. I better watch them get on the bus for the last time. I better actually take that in and that’s been really very satisfying. I wish I would have realized it earlier. I wouldn't say I was far off from it and I would I would jump in and out at times but just a conscious effort to consistently be present in the moment I would say is a big one.

As a basketball coach and teacher for young people, what are your tips for setting into motion courses of action that allow people to unleash their best and most valuable performance while they have the opportunity
19:20 – 21:10 Brook Cupps That's what our leadership class is for. I think you have to help them find who they are. I think there's a lot of kids, a lot of people that are walking around as imitations of someone else and don't really have any idea of what they believe, what their purpose in life is, what their values are. I think my purpose is to inspire others to strive for excellence over success. Excellence for me, is living to your potential, becoming the best version of you that you can be. Now, for me personally, there's a faith aspect to that  but for others there's not, which is okay if that's their choice. But I think my role in this whole thing is helping them understand how they can be the best version of themselves and helping them figure out, you know, what values were you made with? Like what values do you find important? What do you aspire to? What do you want your purpose to be? How do you want to impact the people in your life? I mean the kids have never thought of those questions. Most adults have never thought of those questions and we just kind of live life from here, run a rat race, and then you get to the end, you're like, man, probably should have thought about that. My hope is to try to help them think about that, and before the, I always tell people, you're going to realize it at some point, you're going to realize that you had a purpose, and the things that you brought were special and unique. I just hope it's before you're on your deathbed, because I think on your deathbed, I think that's one of the things you're like, damn, I wish I would've.

Advice for anyone in a leadership position or a coach on how to make young people feel significant in the moment
21:40 – 23:42 Brook Cupps We have all these different things. We have all the technology. We have all these fancy and cool things. That always comes back to relationships. Your impact always comes back to relationships and relationships come back to time. You have to spend time with people. That's it. There's no shortcut, there's no fast way to do it, which is awesome and hard, but it's awesome because the people that are willing to do that are the ones that have the biggest impact. And so that's the cool thing about teaching. You hear people say, oh teachers don't get paid enough. The currency is not money in teaching. That's the difference. But the impact and the relationships that you get to have with kids as a coach or as a teacher, I mean, it's way better than getting paid a lot of money. It's way more fulfilling. The experience is everyone's unique. So that's all I would say. I would say you have to take the time to get to know people. You've to spend time with them, and develop relationships. I think it's Daniel Coyle in The Culture Code is one of my favorite books. It gives you things in there you can do. He talks about belonging cues, which is really the essence of the question you're asking. How do you make people feel like they belong? Well, you make them feel special, you individualize it, that you guys have a future together, and so that's how you make people feel special, which is just like build a relationship. That's what it is.

Purchase of a $100 or less that has impacted his life the most
24:25 – 25:27 Brook Cupps Yeah, that's some Tim Ferriss stuff there. I've read a bunch of those answers in his books. I mean, I don't really buy anything over $50. I don't really ever spend money. I'll say my whistle because it's led me to, I mean, I've had I just got a new whistle this year. For my first 23 years of coaching, I used the same whistle and it's, I've had a lot of great times, great memories. It's actually hanging up by our state championship medal in my office.

Which past basketball player Brook Cupps most identifies with
25:38 – 26:34 Brook Cupps That's a tough question. I will go with one of my former players, kid named Kevin Meiners who played on an Elite Eight team for Centerville. His toughness and tenaciousness and willingness to hold people accountable, which was something I was good at in high school. I was an okay player, but I wasn't great. But I was willing, I wanted to win. And that's what, that's kind of what drove Kev all the time.

If you had to build a starting five that consisted of friends, who would be on the team
27:20 – 28:35 Brook Cupps That's a tough one I Will go I'll just go with like some of my foxhole guys, so I'll go with Eli Leiker, he's one of my assistant coaches. I'll go with Geron Stokes, who's a friend that's a football coach in Columbus. He's terrible at basketball, though. He's strong, but he's not big. I'll go with Brian Steffi. And I guess I'll go with Chris McGuire. Is that enough? I can get one more. I can get one more? Steve Sette would be... So Sette and McGuire would be our bigs, they are both around 6’5”, 6’7”.

If he could place a billboard anywhere in the world with his message on it for the world to see and read, where would it be and what would the message say
29:14 – 29:56 Brook Cupps It would say action expresses priorities, it's a Gandhi quote. The value stuff is great, but it means nothing if you don't have the actions that go with it. And I think there's a ton of businesses, people, that say they know what they believe, but they don't tie it to a behavior that allows them to live it intentionally in their life. And so, and you can talk about a lot of stuff, but it's what you do, like what are you going to do? I think that to me is a really big deal.

What the hero of his story wants and Outro
29:58 Brook Cupps What does the hero of your story want? That's a good question. Where'd you get that question? That's a good question. I would go to my purpose, so the hero in my story inspires others to strive for excellence over success and they're surrounded by those people. Like they've helped people get there and then they're surrounded by those people that are aspiring for excellence.

More info about the guest:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brook-cupps-23864457/
Website: https://www.centervillebasketball.com/page/show/1898071-coaching-staff
 Read Brook's essays: http://www.bluecollargrit.com/blog   

Books and People mentioned:
Book Surrender The Outcome: The Path to an Impactful Life of Coaching, Leading, and Living
Ryan Hawk
Robin Williams
The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle
Tim Ferriss
Kevin Meiners
Eli Leiker
Geron Stokes
Steve Setty
Brian Stephey
Chris McGuire

Quotes:
“Success is based on a comparison with others. Excellence is measured against your own potential.”- Brook Cupps

“Meditation is the bench press of mindfulness.” – Brook Cupps

“Action Expresses Priorities.” – Mahatma Gandhi