340 | Interview with Actress, Author, Director Anne Scottlin on KKNW 1150AM!

Unknown Speaker  0:00  
This is a production of km media dot Pro. Welcome back to positive talk radio. Our goal is simple to explore evolving ideas one conversation at a time. So come on over into our world. I know you'll like it. Because on today's show, and Scotland and she has been on the show before, she's gonna be with us, she is the coach of live for joy. And Scotland is she's an actress. She's a coach, she's a life coach, not a dead coach, she takes care of people she's, she's really is an extraordinary human being. And this is her fifth time on on my show. And she is just really a phenomenal human being. And she figured out how to get here. But if you want to go look at past episodes, you can go to episode two, go to positive talk radio dotnet. And you can listen to episode 119 or 148 or 181 or 202. And this will be 334 on the pot or on the radio show slash podcast and, and and thank you for finding your way.

Unknown Speaker  1:23  
Hey, yes, well, I came through the same door twice. And somehow second time we're so yay,

Unknown Speaker  1:29  
it's amazing. I get has to go through the door many times. Often times I'm not allowed to. But you've also written the book called Live for joy. And I by the way, I you sent me a copy. And I have it here. This is a beautiful book you really worked hard. And this is a this is if it's a hardback, if this is one of those books, and the way it's written. And then I would put on my coffee table when friends were coming over so that they could just thumb through it and they could get have a look at some of the things in here. It's really is a beautiful book.

Unknown Speaker  2:07  
Oh, thank you so much. Yes, a lot of tender loving care went into that I hand selected every illustration and photo and piece of artwork and yeah, phenomenal amount of time. But do you feel like it supports the messages?

Unknown Speaker  2:21  
Oh, absolutely.

Unknown Speaker  2:22  
Yay, I'm so glad.

Unknown Speaker  2:24  
I love I love the because what it is, it has got a saying and it's got a picture on the other on the other side of the page. And the pictures are beautiful. And the sayings are dynamic. And they can really help people and and you know, since you've been on the show so much and I've been thinking about this, you've been on the show enough that I would really like to get deep into into the art of joy. So I guess the first question I would have for you is what is the difference between joy? And happiness?

Unknown Speaker  2:59  
Oh, good. Good question. I get asked that all the time. So happiness is great, right? But happiness is binary. Either you are happy or you can't aren't happy. You can't like be in the middle really. Or you aren't.

Unknown Speaker  3:15  
It's sad. And I'll tell you, it's like yesterday. At one point in the day, I was extremely happy because my mariners were winning for me. And I was doing a little dance in my house and then just really enjoying that. And then it became four to two. So then I sat down and was less happy. And then then it got to be six to two. And then I was happy again. And and then it got to be seven to two and then I wasn't really happy. And then they scored three, and then they scored three more. And we lost the game and I lost my happiness then it was sad.

Unknown Speaker  3:55  
So sad. Yes, no, but that's such a great illustration. Right? Right, because happiness is kind of that bumpy ride up and down, up and down. I mean, and we're kind of told, you know, what happiness is supposed to mean we've grown up with sort of these commercial influences media Television and Film influenced you know, if you have if your team wins you're happy if they're not don't you're sad if if you get the right significant other you're happy or the right job or the right house or the right car or the rights clothes to wear as opposed to you know, so either you are happy or you aren't Well the problem with that as we know is that once that one happiness is achieved so the brand new car someone might have bought in 2000 and made them so happy. It may not be making them quite as happy anymore.

Unknown Speaker  4:43  
Exactly the older it gets and then you look at somebody else's got a newer car and so happiness is kind of fleeting. It isn't it isn't status sustainable, because we don't choose for it to be sustainable.

Unknown Speaker  4:56  
Well, you know what, I don't know that we sit down and you know intentionally articulate that, like, I don't want it to be sustainable. But I think it's the way we understand it now. And let's be clear, too. So happiness and joy are first cousins. So we don't want to just completely confuse everything, because sometimes they have some overlap. But I like to, since I talked so much about joy kind of create the distinguishing question which you asked so, so joy is a little different, because joy is more or less surface, and more deep, it's more of an organic, gut level sense of personal well being that continues whether your team wins or loses, well, that can continue. Even if it's a bumpy emotional ride on the surface of the lake, you know, those waves on the top when are on the Puget Sound when they get all whipped up, right. But deep underneath, it's much more still. And that's sort of where joy lives in that in that spot, which is much more grounding. I think we were all born with joy, organic, original joy. I think it's a human birthright. When you see a little baby or a toddler laughing and giggling and screaming or playing and just having so much fun. They don't really understand yet the concepts of do they have the latest car and how nice is their baby stroller. They're really just being joyful from this intrinsic organic place where they're celebrating life. And to me, that's, that's where joy starts that organic place that kind of right, each one of us has to human beings, we can't predict the perfect life. But we can choose to connect to that part of us that is grounded in well.

Unknown Speaker  6:46  
How do you because there's somebody out there who's asking the question. Okay. And that's great. I know that you had a wonderful life and, and it's been perfect and everything, which by the way, I know that that's not the case. But at the same time, and by the way, you can go back to some of those older episodes. And we continue because we do talk about that a great little bit. But so so it's not a matter of that it's just a circumstance of your life, that everything is cupcakes and roses, and you're happy all the time. And you and you got joy in your heart. That's actually it's not even a skill to learn how to do that.

Unknown Speaker  7:22  
To kind of tap into your joy. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  7:25  
To, to understand that even though life has its ups and downs. Things are not going to always be perfect. But you can choose how you are going to respond to those things that happen in life. And you can maintain your level of, of, of joy that transcends the events that happen in your life. Is that does that work?

Unknown Speaker  7:49  
Um, 5050. Okay, here's the thing, I don't necessarily think that it's a skill. Now, it can be a practice that gets easier with time. And if you wanted to find that as a skill, that's true, too. I think honestly, it's easier than a skill because once we start start talking about cultivating new skills, like oh, God, I have to learn a different kind of situps really, then I'll be happy. Okay, I don't know. It's more of an awareness really like creating awareness around what brings you joy. And keeping that in you when those surface things go up and down. So, you know, living in a beautiful state with a beautiful mountain and a beautiful ocean. There's probably things in nature that for many of us are very grounded. You know, I was born in rent. And this is like my home home stomping grounds. And being in nature is very grounding. So to me, this is just an illustration for me, this is one of the things that is creates a lot of joy in me, it gives me peace. It makes me feel connected, it makes me feel happy. It helps me forget kind of the hustle and bustle. And it doesn't really matter in that moment, when you're just sitting looking out over the sound or listen to the seagulls or just breathing in the air. You just not really thinking about you know how much money I have in the bank right now and what bills I have to pay and am I happier? And am I not happy? It's more, you know, in this moment? I am well, it's a lot about being present. Really, Joy is a lot about learning to be present in the moment. You know,

Unknown Speaker  9:25  
I think everybody in life, at least everybody that I know, has gone through what and there was a period of time that I went through it and I call it my bad country music song period. It was you know, my wife left my I lost my house. My dad died my dog died. I got sued for $50,000 I hit a bridge with a truck and you know just it was like going on and on and on. And even through all of that I maintained a level of of Happy listens, because I hit the bridge at 35 miles an hour and I didn't die. I thought that was pretty good personally. And so it is, are some of us just naturally more joyful than others?

Unknown Speaker  10:15  
That's a really good question. And according to science, news, neuroscience really, and psychological studies, it is true that some of us have a predisposition to be happier or sad, to kind of go dark or light. We all know some of those kinds of people, you know, in the world, that just, you said these people that like no matter what happens to them, they're just so bubbly and it's almost annoying.

Unknown Speaker  10:44  
I'm one of those, I'm afraid.

Unknown Speaker  10:46  
And then yeah, me do. And then you see others and but this is variable, too, because I wouldn't say this has been true throughout my life, then there's others that you see that just I mean, DVDs doesn't matter if they have all the right toys, or all the right things. They just seem to be a miserable son of a second all the time, like no matter what, it's just so angry and so miserable. And you can tell that they really don't have joy. Well, there is some hereditary factors, there are chemical factors in each individual and your chemical makeup can affect your quote unquote, happiness or joy. The good news is that it can be taught, you can learn if you wish to be happy, and some people don't. Kevin, did you know that?

Unknown Speaker  11:28  
I did. And it drives me crazy. I don't like those. I don't like being around people who, who who choose not to be happy?

Unknown Speaker  11:37  
Well, it becomes an identity for some people, you know, that's true. It does. It's literally like, This is who I am. And this is how everyone knows me. And you know, it's kind of like becoming the celebrity of your own life. And people just kind of hear you coming. And even people who are they dread you coming, you still have an impact. And people get kind of addicted to that, you know, that impact that wave they create, when you know when they come around. But is that really worth it spending your whole life, you know, just having a reputation and feeling like you have this little tiny bit of power, but really being miserable all the time. I mean, I know people who really, let's just put it this way, they practice being miserable all the time. Because their life I witnessed their life is variable. Good things happen, bad things happen, better things happen, the sun comes out, and they're still bitter, and just choose to be in this Oh, for me everything. I'm a victim space. And those are, you know, I like to help people encourage them to pop out of that. But you can only do it if you want to. Surprisingly.

Unknown Speaker  12:43  
That's a that is true, by the way. And by the way, we're talking with a and Scotland and she is a dynamic coach. And she helps people find joy in work, and in play, and in just generally in their life. And so if you'd like to if if, if you're driving up 405 And you're driving at five miles an hour, by the way, that's a freeway, and you're driving at five miles an hour, and you're just not getting where you want to go. And you're feeling a little down. Why don't you give us a call and we can talk to and you can talk to him. And let me give you the phone numbers, which is 425373552748882985569 and Andy's got over 100,000 followers on Twitter, how do you do that?

Unknown Speaker  13:33  
Oh, wow. You know, it's it takes a lot of effort. It's not all spontaneous.

Unknown Speaker  13:40  
You had 100,000? Friends? That's pretty good.

Unknown Speaker  13:42  
Right? Yeah. So no, it's just, you know, providing good content on ongoing basis. And then and taking care of it just like any other part of your business, and you have to take care of it, keep it healthy, keep it organic, don't be like paying people, for followers and all that kind of crap. You have to actually, you know, have a legitimate organic following. But I love it. And I love talking to all my followers on there. And you know, in many ways, that's how the book was born part of the way the book was born, because all the contents of the book, which appears sort of like quotes and passages, but they are all original, they're all original. And most all of it was tested, most of it was tested on my followers over many years. And getting their feedback and getting their comments and finding the ones that really resonated. And that's eventually what's turned into this 12 Chapter tune an 80 page book. So that's where that came from. And just getting to know what people were needed and wanted and being willing to have a philosophical conversation about some of the basic things in life that, you know, people just don't want to talk about, like, what does it take to have courage? What does it take to find joy? You know, how do you admit when you're wrong? How do you decide that joy might be more important to your life than being right all the time? things like,

Unknown Speaker  15:01  
well, you know, if you're a politician in this country, you the way it is these days, you've been taught, it has to be taught that you're never wrong, that you're always right. And and if you are wrong or somebody calls you on it, you just stay the way you do that you like, what was it? Little horse house, little whorehouse in Texas, where he would do that Texas Two Step and and step away from trouble when? Wherever he could, because, because because it takes, and you're right, it takes a certain amount of courage to admit that you're not perfect, and occasionally make a mistake,

Unknown Speaker  15:42  
or just that you're not right. You know, and that, you know, sometimes we have such we have such an agenda. We think that our our personhood or selfhood is only distinguished the by the fact that we have a stronger opinion about something than someone else. Were we don't realize that, you know, just being in the moment to being peace, learning to listen more. Now, that's not that we all have to have our warriors warriors, can I say that warrior, your, you know, the warriors in every society. We all have to have warriors, right. So we're gonna have those people on the frontlines that, you know, they fight for specific things, and this is why they have a reason. But we don't all have to fight all the time. Just because we're a democracy doesn't have to fight all the time. In fact, if we would spend more time looking at the commonalities between us and our neighbors, and people in other parts of the country, and people in other parts of the world, we discover they are really so much more like ourselves than we have ever let ourselves think. And when you realize you have actually a lot more friends than you thought life can be a little better.

Unknown Speaker  16:53  
It really can be if you recognize that, that we are all beings, one of the things that I say is that we're all one, we're all part of the same place, we come from the same energy. And we there's there's much more commonality between us, then there is differences, for sure, for sure. And the differences that we come up with are sometimes differences that we manufacture, because we don't want them to be like us, or we're scared of the other or, or different groups and that kind of stuff. But that's, that really doesn't serve us very well.

Unknown Speaker  17:26  
Well, you know, in ancient times, we were much more of a collective society. And everything was done for even the way the laws were written in ancient times, was pretty much either for the good of the moment monarch or the good of the whole, if it was a, you know, somewhat healthy state. It was, Oh, if someone steps out of line, it's not good for the whole, so we're going to take care of that. That's why punishment was often very brutal. But we've kind of changed our mindset, you know, we no longer have dictatorship, we no longer have a theocracy, meaning for most of us that God is at the top of the political pyramid. We have this belief and partly as Americans, we often say, we have this right to our individual freedom to our individual, to the opinion to state our opinions freely, which is a huge and wonderful gift. I think it's been abused to a certain extent where we, we have decided that we have to be so individualistic, that everything has to be friction at the expense of society as a whole at the expense of relationships at the, at the expense of family, family friendships and close, you know, people that are close to us. So I don't say that, you know, you can't have a great opinion about something but sometimes just weighing it, you know, is it worth it, it's like gossip, you know, sometimes might be kind of sort of harmless. And other times it really doesn't make you feel good either. You just get that crappy feeling like I shouldn't have said that about so and so and it's like is it really worth that you know, two minutes of indulgence at the office, and then just kind of like you know, it really wasn't worth it. And I really feel like I you know, I let someone down that I know and that I care about. So you know, picking and choosing I think is a big part of learning to find your joy and live in it on a more regular basis.

Unknown Speaker  19:17  
I've got to ask you, but first, before I do that, I got to do this. If you want to give her a call. First of all, if you want to go to and scotland.com you can find out all the information about her. That's with two T's by the way, so and scotland.com and you can find out all the information about her but give us a call if you if you have something that's on your mind if this is resonating with you in any way, shape, or form. Give us a call and let's talk about it. 425-373-5527 or hate 882985569 Now I went through all of that and then after totally forgot what I was going to ask you

Unknown Speaker  19:56  
that's okay because I was going to come in anyway Kevin I was just gonna say so. So one of the things that we sometimes do with callers is if you have a particular challenge, and I'm, I'm a certified life and business coach, I'm a writer, a speaker, I work with groups, workshops, I do a lot of private coaching. In fact, I'm opening up a new coaching program, right now, and retreat. So what I love to do is work with people, especially one on one to kind of thought partner with them and find what are some possible solutions to those who are open to finding new solutions to having more emotional wellness, to choosing to have a more joyful life? So if you have any questions about that, or if you have, you know, just want to challenge my thinking, I say, Colin, bring it on. I love it.

Unknown Speaker  20:46  
So I gotta ask you then the, in my previous life, that before I did this, which I dearly love, and I'm joyful in it pretty much every day. But I was in the corporate world. And a lot of times I had a how do you say it nicely, I had a boss who was less than, as somebody that I would choose to go have a beer with, or even talk to if I didn't have to. But there's nothing that I could do about that. And I had to figure out a way to make it work for me, how do you teach folks that are in that? Because that happens a lot, I think, how do you teach people that are in a situation like that, to get through it?

Unknown Speaker  21:30  
Ya know, that's a really big challenge. And it's a real challenge. And I think, you know, the first question to ask, and I am not a therapist, so we'll make that clear, too, just so everyone knows that. The first thing to ask is, is this somehow an abusive situation that I need to take seriously? Or do I just can't stand this person, like, there is a difference.

Unknown Speaker  21:53  
And there is I've gotten to the gentleman that, that we no longer obviously work together. But I thought I'd pull this out as an example, just because, but I was his assistant. This is in the restaurant business. He was a general manager. And he thought being a general manager was all that in the bag of chips, and thought he was really, really cool. And that he was mean to the staff, and mean to the people that we were working with. And I was expected in his mind to support everything that he did everything that he said, even though in my heart of hearts, I knew that it was just dead wrong. But I Kui but he wasn't open to change, or to discuss anything about that. He expected total loyalty to him. How do you how do you get through that? I mean, I finally did the V left. And, and it was like, ding dong, the witch is dead, though, which is, you know, but But yeah. How do you get through that? If you're in that situation? By the way, give us a call if you are, because and can help you with that. But how do you get through that?

Unknown Speaker  22:57  
Yeah, that is so tough. And such a real, real experience, I can kind of, you know, I can feel that energy just coming through right now about, you know, what that's like, and to be in that kind of that kind of environment. And I could just tell you right now, you know, people can get a lot get away with pushing a lot of my buttons, I can be very patient. But hey, when you start messing with my friends, when you start messing with my co workers, something in me comes out where I'm like, No, that's where I draw the line. And I think it becomes a decision at some point. So you know, one is, you know, realistic question, can I afford to lose this job? And is there another one I could get? Or, you know, how critical is my financial situation? Are we an emergency level? You know, do you have to cope? And if you do, then finding some steps to do that would be one conversation. And then there's also, you know, what are your options? Obviously, you probably tried talking to him, he probably didn't listen to that, right.

Unknown Speaker  23:58  
I had a tough time talking to him, because we he was a tight and one of those type of guys, that was very closed. And it was I'm always right. Speaking of which, we were just talking about that. And this is my restaurant, and you'll do it the way that I want you to do it. And his assumption was, that I didn't know as much as he. But the problem was, I had been a general manager before. And so I knew as my own style, which is different than his, but he wasn't allowing me to vent it or talk about it or to initiate any change of any kind. So then I had to go to the employees who have come to me and, and excuse the expression bitch about him. And I'd have to say, well, you have to understand these this. And I'd have to make up some sort of story that made no sense to anybody, including myself.

Unknown Speaker  24:47  
No, I hate that. And, and it's really interesting. You brought this up because I actually had a very similar experience this year in my own life, which was a collaborative business opportunity to come I'm in in support someone who was fairly known, who had a large established business, and he wanted to bring in some of my assets and abilities into that picture, and had a great financial opportunity, there was a lot going for it. But after a few months of participating in that, I just realized that one, people in the team weren't being treated fairly, they weren't being treated with respect. I don't mean you have to like, you know, just shuffle around and never let people nice and just be like, Oh, dear, afraid of everyone. I mean, you know, people were asked rudely to do things, they were told to do things, let's put it that way. Instead of asked to do things, they were yelled at, legitimately, you know, for the smallest things. And it was one thing when it was the team or me, and you know, how you kind of push back against that gut instinct, you're like, I know, this just isn't right. But you're like, Yeah, but the opportunity is really good. And then, but then it later it came to the clients. And when the clients started being, you know, told one thing and say they were being sold one thing and then delivered something else, and the prices were changing. And, you know, in my opinion, it was just very unethical. Um, you know, it's a matter of opinion. But for me, I was like, I have a really high standard for people and customer service. And I really care about people. And I can't put my name on this business, when I feel like people are being treated like that. And it was really hard to pull away, because I had a lot invested in time and emotionally and financially. And I just, I walked away, I said, That's it, I can't, you know, and it was, it was huge. I was depressed for about a month, at least, like, really down because I you know, when you feel like this is like, this is just gonna be one of those super duper Win Win situations. And then underneath, you kind of start seeing the cockroaches under the stove in the restaurant. And you're like, I don't know, I don't think so.

Unknown Speaker  27:05  
You know, the, it's interesting that you mentioned restaurants again, but I have a rule. If I go out to lunch with somebody who is supposed to be a spiritual person, a person who, who talks about life in one way that likes to get up in front of people and say certain things. And then we're having lunch, and they treat the waiter like crap, or the waitress, like crap, I want to buy that. And then I know that they're not being genuine. And because they'll use you, in my, in my world, you need to support the least among us not going to wait orders anything less. Because they're serving us and they're doing a great, a great service to us, we should treat them with respect, and treat them like, like, we really care for their welfare and what's going on. And he was he just was inherently rude. And so I quit. And he sued me and all that, you know, all that, all that happy stuff. But the it's just given there are points in time when you need to take a stand for what you believe in.

Unknown Speaker  28:15  
I think so too, you know, and realizing, you know, anyone who thinks they're above someone else, you know, I don't care what side of the table you're on. It's an exchange that all is, is it's an exchange of goods and services. And now we use money and we used to trade other things. You know, it doesn't mean that anyone is better or worse. It just is how you respect someone new. You know, when I see people talk down to other people, it makes me so angry. And I'm that kind of person that I get myself in trouble to. I'll be like, you know, that is just not cool. Or The later you know, I won't embarrass the other person, you know, the third party anymore. And later, I'll say, Listen, that was so uncool. I like what I didn't do anything. What are you talking about? That's ridiculous. Everybody does that. And I'm like, actually, they don't and I don't and I don't really want to be seen with someone who does because if you are not you know, Kevin, as you always say we are one. When you are damaging or unkind to anyone else, you are hurting yourself. And if you don't see where that connects the dots that's for discussion for another day. But just believe me you are there's a million different things you could karma call it from good citizenship to karma to just having, having life living in your joy. People that don't respect other human beings in their environment, don't live in their joy. They live in their ego.

Unknown Speaker  29:48  
That is true. What is the difference between ego and joy?

Unknown Speaker  29:52  
Ego and joy? Wow, that's a good question.

Unknown Speaker  29:55  
I know I finally came up with the one

Unknown Speaker  29:58  
people get a lot Got a happiness out of their ego. But we've already talked about how much that can fluctuate, right? Because it's a power trip. A power trip is ego. First of all, we all have one, I have one, you have one, everyone has one. But it's how we use it or abuse it really, right? There's nothing wrong with having a positive self image. In fact, I teach people how to have a more positive self image. But having a self image that somehow makes you now a Greek god over all the rest of us. That's where the problems start to come in.

Unknown Speaker  30:32  
Yes, it does.

Unknown Speaker  30:34  
Yeah, really does. Go ahead, really can't have again, you can have the happiness you can have. Even like almost an endorphin chemical. Hi, people who are people who have huge egos, people who are? Well, you know, there's a lot of people out there in our world that have overinflated opinions of themselves. You know, they may get a high out of it, but are they? Do they have peace inside? Do they have? Because I think that joy is also kind of that peacefulness. It's that oneness. It's that oneness with nature, it's that oneness with your fellow human beings, is that oneness with yourself, you know, can you look yourself in the eye and feel, feel like you are doing your job in the world and contributing to the whole not just self serving. You know, some people might say, brings them joy, but I would say it's almost always short lived.

Unknown Speaker  31:30  
I truly believe that you bring yourself joy. And it's how you let me give you an example. I at one time, was a national sales manager for a major poultry company, and traveled all over the United States, I talked to vice presidents, I had this great little credit card that I could throw on the table and, and and say every the drinks are on me and, and stuff. And I felt it was a real ego boosting kind of thing. I spent the last 12 years before I started doing this as a bus driver for King County Metro. Now that is the epitome of the difference than talking to vice presidents. Now I had people that were homeless, telling me what for and stuff so so but I still maintain that level of joy. It because I thought it was funny for one but it's it's how you treat everybody how you treat your world around you and, and what's happening around you. You can you can make it work, but a lot of times, and it takes people like you to help us through it because we've got so much gunk in in the in the in the in the system that we need to clean it out a little

Unknown Speaker  32:39  
bit. Yep, some gunk in the gears. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker  32:42  
And we're not functioning very well.

Unknown Speaker  32:45  
Right now. And that's so true. And that's why I think any conversation around emotional wellness is so important. And, you know, the pandemic really showed the corporate world for the first time, truly there were companies who were aware and practicing good health and habits and training for their people around emotional wellness before, but it became so much more mainstream the idea of how important your mental am and whole person outlook on life was. And when you're suddenly isolated and didn't have support, you know, Oh, this isn't actually a thing. And what they never realized was it was always a thing. People were just, you know, people suffer in silence to in an office full of people as much as they struggle with, you know, their own challenges or demons, if you want to call them when they're at home working alone. So it's a great conversation that is opened up so many more opportunities, you know, in the 80s, and 90s, everything was about physical fitness. And that was the great, you know, the great transition, the great upgrade, and offices started putting gyms in their companies. And

Unknown Speaker  33:48  
I remember that, yeah.

Unknown Speaker  33:51  
I remember when my dad first said, like, they put a gym in our office for like, why, why? And, you know, and then mental wellness, you know, over the years has become more and more of a very important topic, and still continues to be. And now emotional wellness. And I would say and this is not for today's discussion, but I would say a piece of emotional wellness that I hope will start a new conversation in future years is spiritual wellness. And by that I mean, what is spirituality to people that may not necessarily be defined as religion, but what is that aspect of the human being that has a need beyond just, you know, their basic needs basic happiness? What is that piece? And when will it be safe to talk about it again? Because I think it plays a role in emotional

Unknown Speaker  34:45  
wellness. I couldn't I couldn't agree more. It's and I know that you get a lot of people that come into your practice. And by the way, before I go there, I just want to ask you real quick. It must because you've been doing emotional wellness and working with businesses. For a while, it must have done your heart good to see this switch kind of come about because people and then the great resignation that happened and and people that decided we're not happy I had no I'm leaving and and stuff oh god, there's plenty jobs I'm gonna go find something I like to do ends and stuff like that so that did that make your heart feel good.

Unknown Speaker  35:21  
You know what made me feel really good. One was the awareness that was coming up, which I felt like, you know, as I just articulated, which was amazing. I just thought, you know, we were given an unwanted opportunity with the pandemic as as a whole experience to really self evaluate, like people hadn't done in a really long time. You know, most people don't just wake up in the morning and say, like, Am I really happy? Am I really happy in my job, or they don't do it every day. And this gave people you know, some people had to quit working entirely for a while and they start realizing, hmm, I used to have hobbies. I used to have friends, I used to do stuff and travel and not be a slave to you know, my business phone and go, Lee, this is pretty nice. I forgot what it was like to have a life or just prioritizing. So people for the first time in a long time really taking in good as a whole, almost as you know, as a national movement or global movement, taking taking stock of where am I in my life in my vision? And is this really where I want to be. And there were a lot of people who were saying, it's not so much about the money as I thought, I'm happy to take a lesser job doing something else to have my life back and to get my joy back. And they made that choice. And I thought that was courageous and really did make me happy.

Unknown Speaker  36:46  
Oh, yeah, I tell you, and you just said it. Because you I'm sure this happens to you all the time, where people come to you and say, you know, and and I've done? Is this all there is? There has to be more? This can't be all there is? And why am I really here? And those are? Those are both physical questions. And they're also very spiritual questions. Why am I really here? What Am I destined to do? You know, what, what impact? What positive impact am I going to make in the world? And I do have a lot of people that come to you with that, you know, not

Unknown Speaker  37:21  
so much as you would think like, right out of the gate. But I think we all have the same existential questions. You know, that and you know, okay, we need a whole nother hour for that, Kevin, because that would be a bucket of fun. I can tell you right now,

Unknown Speaker  37:36  
will you? Will you come back and we can have that talk? I will

Unknown Speaker  37:40  
be Oh, that would be a whopper, that's for sure. Yeah. But I think that is kind of what it comes down to. Because you know, that's another thing that people really started realizing was, for many people, they start realizing that they hadn't had time to give back in a long time, to volunteer to be involved in their communities to spend more time with their kids. And they just started realizing, yeah, giving back being a useful part of society that was more than just part of the economy. You know, more than just one more gear, and the machine is really fulfilling. And I feel like that actually brings me joy. And I feel like a more whole human being because of it. So people started looking again, at vision and purpose in a way that many people hadn't for a long time. I mean, people have been talking about that, and you know, corporate seminars, and you know, it's out there, it's in the conversation, but more wholesale, what is really my vision and purpose, you know, and even if we don't get all the way into the existential question, what do I want with my life? And what kind of quality of life do I want? In my heart and emotionally as opposed to just what brand of car

Unknown Speaker  38:51  
I drive? Have people changed over time? Because I seem to think that we are a little bit more actually a lot of a lot more connected to who we are and what we choose to do. It's like, I had a conversation with my father before he passed. He was an executive with Nordstrom for like 35 years. And I said, So what's your passion? And he said, Well, I said, what's your passion? I don't know that I have one. And I said, Well, don't you want to do something? And he said, Look, I'm just a one trick pony. I just go to work, and I come home and and I watch football on the weekends. And that's all I can do. We've changed is that our natural evolution? Or is it that the society has changed and opened up?

Unknown Speaker  39:35  
I think we live in an enormously privileged society. And in this place, I don't specifically mean economically, live able to have free speech, free thinking, to have the luxury to spend focus in the 21st century around things like emotional wellness, and feelings and your or my version of spirit. duality is a luxury that most people in world history and many people on the planet still don't have. I mean, survival has been the name of the game for so, so long. And you know, even in the 20th century survival was still, you know, we went through the Depression, the first one, people were just recovering from that, and then we had World War. And then people were just, you know, recovering recovering from that. And then we have, you know, Korea and Vietnam and there was always, you know, a lot of anxious a lot of anxiety a lot of, after World War Two, we got to get ahead, you know, we have to demonstrate that we're not like, again, more ego trips here, the working class way down low, we don't wear overalls to work, we wear a blazer to work, and that makes me a better person than someone else. And now I need a little 1950s housewife to go with it, and I need my little square box in a subdivision and I need the right car. And, you know, people just started getting, you know, it's kind of coming out of survival mentality into more of appearance, it's a great emerge, great, you know, the great emerging of what we used to call the middle class, right, which was a phenomenon in 20th century, well, you know, I have like history degrees, I can't help myself, anyway. 20th century, not just from aristocracy and poverty, but then like, one level up to, you know, the middle class and the evolution of that, and now, but even the middle class still have a lot of pressure to, to perform, to show up how they looked, how much money and now, we live in a level of comfort, at least in our developed countries, which may not always be contributing to some of these other countries in the world that are, you know, supplying us with all of this consumer ism stuff that we buy, right. But we have a great opportunity to be thinkers and learners and investigate the finer things, you know, I go back to, you know, thinking coming out of these very violent times, you know, 500 400 BC, and then you have the eMERGE, you know, emerge in Greek empire. And then later, the emerging Roman Empire, both which were very violent, by the way, but they became stable in a certain way, where in that time, the upper class was able to, you know, famous Greek forum, Roman Forum, they were able to exchange ideas, and investigate and become more scientific in their way of living. And some of our great thinkers of all time came from those periods. So we're in that beautiful period, where we have this opportunity to make the world a better place, not just for ourselves, but for society as a whole. And if that doesn't give you motivation, or vision or purpose, do, you can always just be self serving.

Unknown Speaker  42:47  
And you can be, and you're allowed to be, if that's what you choose to do. It's not joyful. And it's not as you know, I was, I was talking, when I was bus driving, we had some people that had come from other countries, one of my friends came from Kenya, and his father was the chief of the village. And the women of the village would wake up every day. This is the difference between the we don't understand in this country, unless you gone somewhere else. The women of the village would get up in the in the morning, and they grabbed these pots, and they would walk six miles to go get water, and then bring the water back. And, and that was part of their day. And but they found joy in it. And when the men one time said, I think that we're going to help our women, because it's a lot of work to take all that water. And the women said, What are you doing steadiness goes, you gotta do what you're doing. This is our time, to bond and to get together while we are taking this walk to go get water, and stuff like that. So it's, it's all a matter of perspective. But still, they still had to walk six miles to get water, which is hard for any human,

Unknown Speaker  43:57  
very hard work. But it's such a great illustration of, you know, and they probably didn't have medical coverage, and they probably didn't. I know exactly right. So but the point is some of the happiest people in on this earth that I have met, many of which in developing countries, in very simple circumstances, have been some of the happiest, more most generous people I've ever met in my life. I always in recent years. I was in Morocco a couple years ago and we were just on the side of a highway in the middle of nowhere and literally, and there was a watermelon vendor. He had a little a little lean to built right on the side of the I said highway two lane highway, right next to his watermelon field. And you come in he cut the watermelon for you. You could sit down on his cushions and he didn't speak a word of English and I didn't speak Arabic although one person with us did. And just the joy he had making our friendship without even having words and sharing his watermelon and it was just like you know you Look at that. And you know, you could tell I maybe hadn't had perfect dentistry, but he was happy. I'm like, I know a lot of people with perfect dentistry who are miserable. So what is it that we can do to simplify doesn't mean you have to get rid of everything, go back to, you know, more of a dark ages mentality, what can we do to simplify our life and put less pressure on our own performance, so we can enjoy living, that's where joy starts coming out. And that's

Unknown Speaker  45:29  
why we're here just to enjoy living. Others enjoy living exactly well. But this gentleman that worked for King County, Metro, and he would send $200 home a month for his mom. And that put her into an economic status, that she could have now afford to have a housekeeper and a cook on 200 bucks a month, because the things are just completely different there. And but she was joyful to get it and her people are cooked and her her housekeeper were joyful to have it have the job that they had. So it's all a matter of perspective. And I just wish that everybody could be that could live in more joy, and just living life. But we get caught up in it. How do you unwind all that?

Unknown Speaker  46:22  
No, it's really hard. You know, there's the whole stuff problem, which is too much stuff, it takes all our attention. And we can't focus on just the simple things, you know, I've moved repeatedly in the last few years. And I'll tell you, as stressful as it was, the personal life, exfoliation that that caused of getting rid of stuff was actually really amazing. And then on my most recent move, I was in an area where I didn't really need a car. And so I ended up selling a card and simplifying, and now I've been lived for two years without a car. Now we have one car in the family. So that has to do, but I take it on as a personal challenge, like how simply can you live, you know, in Hey, guys, you know, nice does not have a car payment. Insurance. So mostly, I just was dragging my feet this whole time and I kept thinking, you know, I really need one. Like, I'll wait till it becomes pressing. Well, I'm sure I will still get one. But I'm happy that I could say I did two years without of my own personal vehicle. And it's amazing how well life went, you know, we have this idea that just the more we have, it somehow makes life easier. Also, there was a time in my life, where I had a very large home and was living, you know, a very comfortable lifestyle. It was so much work. All you ever worried about was entertaining people and then cleaning up after 50 people and then you had to hire help to come in and do that. And it was literally just so much on my mind. I was more peaceful. When I moved into, you know, a tiny condo in Santa Monica. That was like 750 square feet that had been in that 4000 square foot house. So you see this really find your joy for you. Everyone's different. You can

Unknown Speaker  48:12  
only be in one room at a time. I don't know if people recognize that it's not physically possible for you to be in more than one room at a time. And so whatever room you're in, be happy there.

Unknown Speaker  48:26  
Exactly. And and there's nothing wrong with things and the benefit of our labors and being blessed. That is not, it's not wrong. All I say is do your toys and all your badges of status. Are they giving you peace and joy? Are they making you stressed and keeping your mind busy and unable to focus on some of the things that matter more? That's a question to ask yourself. And that's where you can start finding your own joy again.

Unknown Speaker  48:53  
Did you ever listen to the Gospel According to George Carlin?

Unknown Speaker  48:56  
No, I don't think I ever did.

Unknown Speaker  48:59  
Yes, he's got he had a skit that he did it was called stuff, you get stuck, you get a house and then you fill it up with stuff. And then you get more stuff. And then you have to get a bigger house to put your stuff in it. And then you fill that up and then you have to put it in the garage and then you can't put your car in the garage because your stuff is in the garage is it was

Unknown Speaker  49:18  
actually that's a perfect perfect illustration right?

Unknown Speaker  49:22  
By the way, we're talking with an Skylane CI you are just adore I just love talking to you.

Unknown Speaker  49:27  
It's a pleasure Kevin, I always get so excited when I know I get to talk to you.

Unknown Speaker  49:30  
This is so much fun. And if you want to get a hold and you can go to and scotland.com and and she's got a bunch of programs out there and she's got some things happening this this fall what's happening this fall.

Unknown Speaker  49:43  
So this fall I'm launching a new coaching program. This is me individual one, which I haven't done for a while. And a very special one on one focused program for setting goals emotional wellness. Mental reset professional accelerating your professional life. It's not about the the little pieces of your job. It's not business consulting, it's more How can you maximize the life you have now in for your joy but also just for whatever your goals are your vision, so, and there's going to be a new page coming out on my website next week. And also if you're just listening, my name is spelled li n at the end so it's SCO TT L I N not the country. So and and any SCO TT Li n.com Check it out. And if you'd like to check out my free Joy Journal, which is a beautiful colors seven day journal that will give you a simple question in the morning and night to kind of create awareness around your joy and what's taking it once giving it that's an scotland.com forward slash Joy Journal.

Unknown Speaker  50:48  
And, and I've got just a couple of minutes left on the show. And I'm going to set myself aside here. And we'd like you to think deeply into your heart. And I want you to tell the people that are listening to this broadcast today. And those that will be listening to it as a podcast on positive talk radio dotnet and YouTube and all that other stuff. Tell them whatever you would like them to know.

Unknown Speaker  51:12  
If you have anyone in your life that you love, and you know what that feels like to care about them, to love them, to be kind to them. Learn to love and be kind to yourself because you clearly already know how to do it for someone else but it's okay to do it for yourself. And the amount of healing and health and joy of just being more loving and patient with ourselves instead of constantly being our worst enemy and our greatest critic can do can create so much healing in your life and bring you so much joy. And when you have more joy those people around you can experience more joy to

Unknown Speaker  51:51  
that was perfectly said and I want to thank you again for being here. You're listening to positive talk radio and that's an Skylane li n at the end. Thank you for being here and by the way, be kind to one another because each other's all we've got we'll see you next time

Unknown Speaker  52:25  
the views expressed on this program are those of the hosts guests and callers and not necessarily those of KK and W gets management or other advertisers contests are the responsibility of the host of this program and not KK and w this is alternative talk 11:50am KK and W Seattle and K and you see 98.9 HD three Seattle

Unknown Speaker  52:45  
Well good afternoon Eric Reiner here with you on K K NW. We are approaching five o'clock time for a quick look at our traffic. Some pipeline from bu district to i 90 is slow and we're finding some slowing approaching to cool it down to about South 200