516 | Discussing MENTAL HEALTH Importance & MORE! - Interview - Michael Huber

Speaker 1  0:00  
This is a production of K M media dot Pro.

Speaker 1  0:08  
Welcome back to positive talk radio. Our goal is simple to explore evolving ideas one conversation at a time. So come on over in our world, I know you'll like it. Because on today's show today we're going to talk about something that's a little off B for positive talk radio, but it actually is a happening now kind of current thing, but that I think a lot of people will benefit from listening to this entire show. So I hope that you'll do that. Then first, I got to welcome a stellar athlete in his own right. Nathan, how are you

Speaker 2  0:47  
doing? Well, Kevin multi sport athlete at your service. I tell you now, some of those they might question whether they're sports or not, but they are have been broadcasted on ESPN. So I think that qualifies them enough to be a sport.

Unknown Speaker  1:04  
Exactly. Now you are a pool player. Yep. You're a Frisbee golfer,

Speaker 2  1:09  
disc golfer? Yes. It's golfer I guess is little bit different than a Frisbee as a disc. isn't really it is they have different aerodynamics and molds and how they're made. So it's not like the typical catch throwing the Frisbee you have. It's a lot more like flat or rounded and different build to it. But same thing, though. You know, you throw it, it spins, it goes far.

Speaker 1  1:34  
And you also have maybe one of the biggest strike zones in America. When you play baseball,

Speaker 2  1:41  
yep. Which ironically, I had a very high walk rate. I think people are not used to throwing maybe a high strike. Or maybe they just like, Ah, this is an easy strike zone. I got it no problem and it gets to their head, and they throw a ball.

Speaker 1  1:58  
Speaking of getting into your head, did you ever I know about sports psychology and taking care of of the mental side of the game? Did you ever participate in that?

Speaker 2  2:08  
Of course, you know, half of baseball is mental and half of it is physical. Exactly why they're always getting these stats and figuring out how do we work around this person's, you know, mentality? How do we figure them out?

Speaker 1  2:24  
Exactly. And baseball is maybe one of the hardest games in the world to play because it's half a year, right? Most of it's in your head. You don't believe you can do something? Guess why?

Speaker 2  2:38  
And think about how superstitious baseball is to as I was telling some people at the Aqua Sox game last night, we actually walked out onto the field to do the national anthem with our dogs who is bark at the park night. And I said, you know, when you're walking out onto the field, make sure you don't step on that line

Speaker 1  2:56  
is That's bad luck. That is superstition. But there are if you watch a major league baseball game, and you watch the pitcher come from the pitcher's mound, most of the time. Felix Hernandez was great at this, he would skip over the line. Yep. Because it was bad luck. It was bad luck. So we have got a great show for you today. And we're going to talk about sports. We're going to talk about kids, we're going to talk about the transition that kids make from a kid sport, to then going to college and we've got an expert in the field to talk to us about that. His name is Michael Huber. Or as Nathan would say, Hugh bear,

Speaker 2  3:37  
I might have watched a little bit too much Stephen Colbert in my day.

Unknown Speaker  3:44  
Mike, how are you? Good. Kevin.

Unknown Speaker  3:45  
Nathan, how are you both?

Unknown Speaker  3:47  
Excellent.

Speaker 1  3:49  
We are great. And I got to ask you because when I was in sports, way back in the 70s, there was no such thing as sports psychology, or understanding how the mental side of the game affected everything else. But that's it. So is it newer than that is not 50 years old. It's it's it's something that has been blossoming of late.

Speaker 3  4:18  
It's evolved over time, I would say that it's the roots go back, probably 100 years. But the truth of the matter is, is that the the mainstream application of sports psychology is probably within the last 30 years or so. So I would say individual Olympic sports is sort of where it started. You know, the individual swimming, diving, gymnastics, golf, those kinds of things. But it's only really been since probably the early 90s where it's kind of taken on the mainstream here in America, particularly in baseball Major League Baseball is sort of the pioneer in terms of professional sport at Sports Psychology.

Speaker 1  5:02  
And now everybody is into it, it seems like it basically Major League Baseball players have got their own mental performance coach, in a lot of cases then in football as well. And because they recognize how important a part of your performance, the mental side is, let's talk about you a little bit. Now, how long have you been doing this?

Speaker 3  5:27  
I've been doing it for about six years. So my second second career a second chance at getting it right in my professional life. And I love every minute of it, it was, it's something that really means a lot to me helping young people navigate some of the challenges that they have, mentally and emotionally, it's sort of, you know, I have had my own challenges and struggles along the way. So I really felt like you know, being someone that other people could turn to for those. That kind of help is something I really wanted to do.

Speaker 1  5:57  
And you are helping a lot of kids, because your your focus is the stellar teenage athlete, as they make that transition from high school to college, or high school to the draft and getting drafted by the pros of that sort of thing. Am I correct in that?

Speaker 3  6:18  
Yeah, it's definitely it's something I focus on in my work. And it's something I'm just truly curious about, because I think one of the things I noticed working in the high school environment for a couple of years is that, you know, usually if you're a really stellar high school athlete, that's based upon physical ability, right? You're sort of God given talent, right? Most of the kids who excel are the ones that are the biggest, fastest, strongest, they just have the natural ability. And then they they go on to move to the next level, whether it's college or even professional, in some cases, and everybody has that natural ability, right? You're sort of selected into this pool, where everybody's just like you, and it can be the first time in your life where you really have to deal with adversity and competition, and comparing yourself to other people and dealing with failure. And, you know, I guess I'm curious about how young people who make that transition do it? And what are the skills and the tools that they need to do it successfully.

Speaker 1  7:20  
You know, when you look at it, when they, you have a really good athlete, they're really good at in Little League, or peewee football, or whatever it is, and they continue to be the best in this in the sport that they're in. And it must be a shock to them to go to a college where there are, I don't know, the typical football team where we have 100 kids that are out there, and you're now being competing with guys have equal and or better ability than you have?

Speaker 3  7:54  
Absolutely, yeah, it has to be a shock for a lot of them. Right. And I listen, I think it's a spectrum, right, though I'm sure. You know, there are infinite kids who have made that jump and some naturally have that mental and emotional ability to manage that, right. They have natural resilience, they have natural, a naturally optimistic outlook, they have a growth mindset, whether it's sort of a personality trait that they're born with, or they develop development based on the parenting and coaching that they receive. Right. But I would say that if I had to guess that's the minority, right? The majority of these athletes are the ones that have been athletically superior. They've always been patted on the back, right patted on the back, you're the best, they were rewarded for outcomes results for performance. And, you know, when they fail, it's it's infrequent. But they also don't really know how to deal with it. Or maybe they're even, you know, maybe they're even sort of chastised for it. Right, but it's very infrequent. Now you get to this level were expected to work even harder. And you're one of many, and you have to establish all these new relationships and navigate a new environment. And you know, you don't know what to expect in most cases. So if your personality or your skill set emotionally and mentally is not there, it's going to be a really challenging transition, like any other change in our lives.

Speaker 1  9:25  
Absolutely. But these are changes that happen when you're 17 or 18 years old, and you're just your baby barely ever diapers. And from my point of view at that point,

Speaker 3  9:39  
it's a really good point. So I think one of the things that I talk to athletes a lot about is the fact that especially for male athletes, and this is just biologically their brains aren't fully developed until their mid 20s. Right? So what I mean by that is it's really their executive functioning, their decision making, right like their ability to to process information and not be overly reactive or emotional. And so that puts them at a deficit right now they're expected to come in and do what amounts to a job, right on a daily basis, show up with your lunch pail practice every day, 20 hours a week, plus weight room plus academics, you know, and they've got all these competing demands, like, Hey, I'm on my own, for the first time, I get to go, socialize, and party, all these different things. And their brains aren't really developed to the point yet where, you know, they can necessarily handle it in the right way. So I think for me, the way I look at it is, is that the transition is going to come if you're going to play at that level, you're either going to figure it out when you get there, or you should be preparing for it before you get there. And that's kind of where I come from is, hey, let's prepare for this proactively, so that you don't have to find out the hard way, how hard it's going to be when you actually get there

Speaker 1  11:00  
for knowledge is forearmed, I think is if you if you're aware of how tough it's going to be. But when you're that age, and you've got, you know, a painted picture for you, you're 18 years old, and the guy like, well, when Pete Carroll was at USC, and a guy and a coach walks into your house, and he's calling your parents, sir and ma'am, and, and he's trying to make a really good impression on you. And he makes you feel like you're, you're, you know, on cloud nine and stuff, that's got to be a real mental thing for the kids. Because you they got people coming into their house who they have no, they've been looking at their entire lives is held on a pedestal, and then they're coming in to talk to me, what's that do to a kid's head?

Speaker 3  11:47  
Yeah, I've been listening, it's good. It feeds the ego. Right? And, and it actually, it's a really good example, in the sense that when they're being recruited, or they're being scouted, right, like you're being sold on this sort of vision for the future, we really want you This is how you fit in, we want you to commit to our school. But in some things that I listen and watch myself, I've heard the phrase D recruiting coaches have to D recruit players once they get them on campus, or get them into their program. Because the kid comes in thinking, like, I'm so special, the coach has been telling me how much of a role I'm gonna play when I walk in the door. But that's not really necessarily the truth. So they have to go to start back from square one to say, like, Hey, I got you here. Now. Now you have to shift your mentality to you've got to earn it. Right. And that's really hard. I think it kind of goes back to the developmental side of things, right? Like, you've already sort of convinced yourself that like, this has been promised to me. And now things don't pan out the way you want them to when you arrive on campus. That's very confusing for any person, let alone somebody who's 17 1819 years old.

Unknown Speaker  12:54  
Oh, yeah. And have you worked with a lot of baseball players?

Speaker 3  12:57  
Yeah, baseball, and not and not intentionally. So. But I would say just coincidentally, I'd say it's probably like three quarters to 80% of my client base is baseball.

Speaker 1  13:07  
Do you recommend? Or do you kind of do an aptitude test with each kid to see whether or not they are emotionally ready, and they may be physically ready, but are they emotionally ready to go to the minor leagues and get drafted? Or do you recommend, in some cases that they go to college?

Speaker 3  13:29  
No, I don't I don't get into that. And frankly, I think that that's something that I don't even know that colleges are doing necessarily, I think it happens at the professional level, when teams are scouting, every team has sort of a different level of psychological assessment that they do. Some teams are philosophically highly into it to sort of assess like, is this person ready to sort of fit into our organization, some don't, some are still only assessing or primarily assessing on physical trade and physical ability. So it varies i for me, in my practice, I really am trying to prepare those kids to sort of manage themselves, right. And it's not even so much managing the environment, because one of the things that I talk to kids about a lot, regardless of whether they're 12, or 22, is what can you control and what can't you control. And even if you walk into the best situation, there are just going to be some things that you're not ready to deal with or that you are not going to be able to change, right? Do you have the the aptitude yourself to settle yourself down, to shift your perspective, to be able to get yourself to be present, right to quell your anxiety, or your stress or maybe even some of the feelings of you know, sort of depression or even hopelessness sometimes that like, Hey, I'm doing all this work, and I'm not getting the reward that I want. How can I find my way out of this so that I could get back to Hey, I need to focus on what I can do right now. For me, it's more about the person than it is the transition or where they're going, or what they're capable of is, hey, like, I want to make sure that you're okay. And that translates into the environment. But I'm not sort of assessing them and their aptitude, I'm really trying to meet them where they're at, and give them more, give them more skills, move them forward.

Speaker 1  15:22  
I'm of the opinion now that I've been through, you know, that period of kids. And growing up and stuff, I'm of the opinion that every kid that's graduating male and female is graduating from high school needs a coach other than their parents, to set them straight about the what is liable to happen to them. And also, to talk to the parents about what's good for the kid. Based upon your conversations with them. I'll give you an example. There's I have a good friend that his youngest son wanted to go straight from college to, or straight from high school to college. And so he picked Arizona State University, reasonably picked, you're laughing. The reason he picked Arizona State is because it's known as a party school. And he wanted to go there because he wanted to go party. And he lasted a whole quarter. And he flunked out. And his dad spent that chunk of money getting that done. But he didn't have the aptitude and nobody was there to help him through it that the do you find that there's a lot of kids in that boat?

Speaker 3  16:36  
Absolutely. Right. It's, I think it's just something that's as old as time. Right. And I think a lot of it does have to do with the fact it has to do with as you alluded to the parent, child dynamic, the relationship, right? As a parent, myself, I know that there are just some things I'll say to my children, and they're not going to listen, because I'm dad, right. And so I think there is a need for an objective voice in that, in that conversation of saying, hey, like, I'm not telling you to not do this. But I'm telling you that if you do that, there's going to be a consequence, right? If you do it, it doesn't affect me, I'm not your parent, I'm your coach. But I really want the best for you. Whereas if a parent tells them not to do something, it may be coming from the same exact place, but to thicken the parents trying to hold them back. Right. So I think having an objective voice, I think there's probably more room in our profession, right, in what I do for parent coaching, right, like just based on my experiences working with the athletes and their families, I think there's just some areas or elements or aspects where the parents have blind spots. And they need an objective voice to come in and say, Hey, you're doing it this way. And you're doing your best. But you could do it better if you did it this way. Right. And I think there are certain there are definitely some tactics that parents can use to put themselves in a better position or increase the chances that their kids are actually going to listen to them.

Speaker 1  18:12  
You know, and there's also that other thing that that gets in the way of as especially a great athlete, going from high school to college, and that is the parents have dollar signs, sometimes in their heads, and they're thinking that this child is going to be a prodigy, and he's going to make millions of dollars. And because I mean, his dear old dad, he's gonna buy me a house or the I don't know. But that happens to them that

Speaker 3  18:39  
I think it does. But I would say, and this is only based on my experience, I think it's that that scenario specifically is pretty rare. I think what's more common is that there is this sort of implicit understanding with all parties, the parents and the kids, that parents are spending an exorbitant amount of money in youth and adolescents sport, between league fees, travel, private coaching, et cetera, et cetera. Everybody knows, it's implicit that there's a lot of money being spent. And I don't think the parents expect the kids to go pro and make millions. I think there is definitely an expectation and sometimes an explicit one, that the kid goes to college to play the sport to recoup some of that investment, right. College is going to cost me 300,000 over four years. Like, I've spent X on your sports for the last 15 years, like, Okay, go get me some of that back. They might not use that language or say it that way. But I think everybody sort of knows that that's the elephant in the room a lot of times, and that, frankly, is the cause. I think at least this is just my observation. I think it's a it's a cause of the fact that I have so many kids coming to me saying, Hey, I feel overwhelmed. I feel under pressure. I don't want to make a mistake. I don't want to fail and then Don't say it's because their parents are telling them how you have to go with a scholarship and you're screwing up. But I think, subconsciously, that's in the back of their minds, like, they don't want to let mom and dad down for all that they've done. And so it just heaps a bit of extra pressure that they don't really know how to make sense of

Speaker 1  20:14  
it. And must be just an enormous amount of pressure, when you've been the best kid on your little league team, and your pony league team, and your high school team. And now you're gonna go to college, or you're gonna get go to the pros. And all these people are dependent upon you and your skill to get to the next level. That's that must be really mentally a challenge for a lot of kids.

Speaker 3  20:41  
Absolutely. And it is because you're still a kid. Right? Like, right? You want to be a kid, like, listen, and don't get me wrong, right? I think we live in a world now where teenagers who are invested in their sport, I think they're working harder than ever. In fact, they're probably working harder than they need to, or they're, they're growing up too fast, I guess is the best way to put it. Meaning that they're spending so much time and energy into their sport. Like they accept it, and they want it. But they don't even realize that they're giving up all these other elements of childhood that used to be normal, like taking a summer off or playing another sport, or playing to other sports. All these things that you know, you and I did. Now kids are moving into one sport only all year round. I've got to work with a private coach. All these things that weren't normal 20 3040 years ago, are now normalized. And it's almost like they don't know. And so like the pressure is there. But it's, it's become normalized, which it really is a shame because it's becoming a bit of a pressure cooker. You know, and I think a lot of kids, some kids handle it, but I think a lot of kids don't really know how to navigate it.

Speaker 1  21:56  
It makes it really I can only imagine how tough it is. I mean, I don't I grew up in a time when coaching was a little bit different than and even parenting was a little bit different. And I know a guy that was I think I told you in the last time we talked, he was rarefied air, the first time I saw him pitch, I didn't know the ball could go that fast. You know, when you when you're standing next to somebody, you can pitch and the ball makes that little S sound like so. It's like it's sizzling along the way. It's like holy crap. This guy, this guy. And I he played the same lead that I did over in Kirkland and which, and he did remarkably well. And then he every it was really fun, because I got to see a little bit of the celebrity side because he would, we will be paying playing a game. And there'll be a bunch of guys in overcoats with a hat, who had with a clipboard, that would be in the stands. And they will be taking notes and stuff. I taught personally talk to a guy from Notre Dame, from the Red Sox, from the Yankees from a bunch of different teams, and they were all here to see him. They didn't care about us. They just wanted to see him. And so he was a first round first pick of the first round of the major league draft in 1975. And he never played major league baseball. Wow. So it can happen. Yeah. So they gotta be prepared for life, not just to play a sport?

Speaker 3  23:35  
Well, I think that you raise a really important point, right? Like, the number of athletes that survive that process is very, very small, right? So retirement is coming for all of us. It's coming for us at the end of high school at the end of college, maybe we have a professional career, but we never make it to the majors, or you get to the majors and you get a sniff and then you're out. Right? It's coming forever, everybody, and it's probably coming before the age of 30. Right. So like, what's next? Like? Are you ready to deal with life without the sport you've been playing for 1520 30 years? Like can your identity sustain it? Right. And that's a big part of what I talked to you about with young athletes about is is that a like I said before, you kind of can can and can't control only certain things which includes selection, meaning the person you referenced, right? Not everyone's going to make it whether or not they deserve to make it's a whole nother story, but it's out of your control at a certain point, right? How do you deal with that, but the other piece is identity. So much of our identity as athletes is I mean, as people is wrapped up in being an athlete, that when we don't have it anymore, we're lost. And that leads to other problems down the road in life. You know, like depression, anxiety, who am I? What am I going to do with my life? All those things right? If you can keep that perspective and maintain other healthy elements of your identity as an athlete As you're going through it, the ability to sustain and survive it, when it comes to an end is going to be much, the chances are going to be much greater.

Speaker 1  25:08  
And, and you're right, it happens to all of us. At one point or another. I couldn't hit a curveball in high school. So that was the end of that, and and stuff, but it but it does happen to us, by the way, we're talking with Michael V. Huber, and go to his website, which is, by the way, Michael V. huber.com. And find out all about him. He works with kids, he's got a podcast that we're going to talk about in the second half a little bit. It's called the freshman Foundation. And he's, uh, he's really is interested in your child's welfare in getting the best that you can that he can. And not just for a couple of days or a week or a month, it's how can how can we help our children get through all of the stuff that gets thrown after the social media and all that stuff, and come out normal kids, so that they can have a good life, even if they can't be? Even if they can't hit a curveball, and they can't play anymore. So, and Michael helps people with that. So and when we come back, we're gonna talk about the mental performance side, because that is become a huge thing in the industry. So you're listening to positive talk radio, and we're gonna take a quick break. We'll be right back after these messages. Hey, PTR loyal listener. First, thanks for being in my dream. And second, I have a new concept in business to share with you. It's called social partnership. So what's that? Well, it's the idea that any company designates all profits, beyond expenses, to be awarded to a local or international charity or project, which is working to achieve good in the world. Cam media is such a company. We believe that it's important for us to give back whenever possible and to make great things happen. So I hope you'll join us in creating this new business model that will positively impact all of us. In the next few weeks. We'll lay out the plan and begin our fundraising efforts. So stay tuned for more details right here on positive talk radio.

Speaker 4  27:20  
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Speaker 1  27:47  
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Speaker 1  28:37  
Welcome back to positive talk radio. It's Friday. It's Friday afternoon. We're all here having a good time. Although in some places, it's already been noon and has come and gone. I think Mike is in one of those places. Or you're back east, aren't you, Mike?

Speaker 3  28:51  
I am it's approximately 330 Eastern time.

Unknown Speaker  28:55  
Oh, very good. How was your afternoon? I haven't had mine yet.

Speaker 3  28:58  
That's been pretty busy. Actually. It's a it's a beautiful day here in New Jersey. I wish I was out there to enjoy it. But unfortunately, duty calls.

Speaker 1  29:07  
I know you're probably sitting in your little studio like I'm sitting in my little studio doing doing this and you're working all day. Pretty much. Yeah. Tell me about your podcast how long you've been doing it and and what's it all about?

Speaker 3  29:20  
Sure. The podcast. I started it. The first episode was published in February of 2021. So the idea for the freshmen Foundation came to be during COVID As many podcasts did. People had a lot of time on their hands. And I was literally just starting out with my practice, private practice. At that point. I had a time on my hands. It was you know, it was kind of disadvantageous to start during COVID in the sense that, you know, people were hoping there wasn't much going on. But it did give me a chance to sort of think a little bit more about how I wanted things to be and the podcast came out of that and it really was born out The idea of, hey, I want to explore this transition from high school to college athletics. And so I started to round up some people that I knew that would be really good guests. And I started interviewing them in 2020. So my probably my first 10 to 12 guests were interviewed in 2020, those old god packaged up, I had a agency at the time started me out, put it all together, and I launched the podcast in early 2021. Since then, I've kind of taken it back to myself, I do all the work in house. And I'm constantly looking for guests who can talk about not only the transition from high school to college, it's sort of morphed into transitions in general. So, you know, the transition out of professional sport into real life, we talk a lot about entrepreneurship, but really how the people who are on my show have either navigated those gates on their own, right, former athletes, or people who are experts in the field, who work in the space, who help athletes through the process. So it's really trying to explore that transition those transitions from every different angle, to give the listener who ideally is a family and athlete apparent, give them good information, at no cost, to help them understand what they might be facing and how they might be able to address those problems as they come along in their lives.