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Remember the last time you laughed until your sides hurt with your partner or shared a glance that said everything? This episode is a heartfelt journey through the peaks and valleys of keeping love alive in the bustle of modern life. My partner and I bare all about the dance of connection we perform daily, amid kids' laughter and work emails, sharing our secrets to finding those precious pockets of 'us' time. From the 'babe time' alarms that remind us to focus on each other to breakfast coffee with a side of "Friday Night Lights," we're getting real about the art of nurturing a relationship that goes the distance.
We invite you to our candid conversation as we tackle the nuances of communication and the underestimated power of small gestures. Find out how a simple acknowledgment of a fresh shower can mean the world, and why sharing a dessert can be as intimate as it gets. We debate the 'tracking system' for intimacy, turning what could be a chore into a game, and how this playful approach can strengthen the bonds of marriage. With Kimmy, our guest, chiming in, we laugh and muse over the balancing act of personal time versus couple time, and how to hold onto your individuality while growing together.
Wrap up your day and tune in as we lift the curtain on the everyday effort it takes to keep the spark alive. From prioritizing date nights to understanding the emotional needs within a marriage, we're unpacking the importance of physical closeness and the complexities of maintaining intimacy amidst life's relentless pace. It's a celebration of love, life, and the small yet mighty efforts that can make a relationship truly glow. Join us for an episode that promises to be as enlightening as it is entertaining, because at the heart of it all, it's about keeping that love light shining bright.
Chapters
00:20 - Prioritizing Time for One Another
06:34 - Relationship Reconnection Through Everyday Moments
12:52 - Prioritizing Quality Time in Relationships
22:20 - Importance of Alone Time in Relationships
28:18 - Importance of Quality Alone Time
32:24 - Importance of Physical Intimacy in Marriage
39:53 - Challenges of Maintaining Intimacy
49:40 - Importance of Small Gestures in Relationships
Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:01.120 --> 00:00:04.711
Good how you doing everybody.
00:00:04.711 --> 00:00:13.432
I just want to say thank you guys for continuing to listen to us and I just want to hope everyone had a great Easter with their family.
00:00:13.432 --> 00:00:40.069
We definitely want to just take a week off that time, just obviously spend our time and prioritize our time with our family, which kind of brings us into our episode today of prioritizing our time and making time for one another, which is something that I feel is something that I have a lot of friends that reach out to me about, and I'm like buddy, I'm like I'm still learning.
00:00:42.021 --> 00:00:44.725
Yeah, I was just going to ask, like I don't know, Do you think we're good at it?
00:00:51.939 --> 00:00:52.762
I think we're definitely.
00:00:52.762 --> 00:00:53.585
I mean mean like we don't suck at it.
00:00:53.585 --> 00:00:54.328
I think I think we definitely.
00:00:54.328 --> 00:01:06.013
Well, I'll put it like this I think that we do a great job in articulating to one another, communicating to one another, that hey, like I need some attention, or hey, like we haven't done anything.
00:01:06.013 --> 00:01:09.123
It's like we're both kind of like really, really cognizant of it.
00:01:09.123 --> 00:01:16.846
Um, so that is something that I feel is great about us, and then at least we are.
00:01:16.846 --> 00:01:20.858
We make those decisions to like, be like, yeah, like, hey, like, like.
00:01:20.858 --> 00:01:26.081
For instance, like today we're going away for the night yeah, just the night, because we haven't.
00:01:26.081 --> 00:01:28.149
When was the last time we ever did anything alone?
00:01:29.780 --> 00:01:36.254
We haven't been away alone since we went to Denver, but that was for CDS, it was kind of for work.
00:01:36.254 --> 00:01:49.444
I mean, granted that we kind of make it like our yearly vacation that we do away from the kids but like even going out to dinner.
00:01:49.465 --> 00:01:49.945
I couldn't.
00:01:49.945 --> 00:01:53.093
The last time you and I just went, I think it was our whole food steak.
00:01:53.093 --> 00:01:54.978
That doesn't count, I think it counts.
00:01:54.978 --> 00:02:08.021
I thought it was that little gesture of like just that you know us eating whole food, sushi in the car and definitely pizza, but yeah, that's true, we had some pizza, but you know.
00:02:08.102 --> 00:02:15.310
But I think that that's kind of like the I'm talking about like an actual, like planned out date.
00:02:15.310 --> 00:02:17.548
We haven't in a really long time.
00:02:17.840 --> 00:02:20.789
But you don't think that even just those small ones, even like count.
00:02:22.480 --> 00:02:24.824
No, I do think they matter, like I think they're important.
00:02:24.824 --> 00:02:43.848
I think we need, even like those, that little bit of time that we can get where we're not, like you know, dealing with the kids or work or our families, whatever, um, but I do think we could be better about like actually planning nights out right.
00:02:44.308 --> 00:03:20.348
It is particularly harder because obviously it's like we have the dog, we have the kids like and, and you know in scheduling and you know we only let certain people stay with our kids when it comes to overnights and stuff like that, so it's not like as if we have this like plethora of things to pull from like no, yeah, and like we don't really love asking older girls to babysit them, like even if we go out to dinner I mean we will occasionally, but it's not like you know I feel like I like to let the older kids be kids and not feel like they're responsible for their baby sisters.
00:03:21.140 --> 00:04:17.261
Right right, which, that's like a whole big thing, right, they're like sisters, right right, which that that's like a whole big thing right there, like the whole like maternalizing and and in parent parentalizing yeah, uh, older kids and stuff like that, and then how that almost you can get into that another time yeah, I know that's a whole other episode, um, but yeah, no, I mean like, because I know, like for me, obviously you can talk about this afterwards too, like talk about it from your perspective, like for me, it's like how much of that I would feel like I'm missing that connection from you, that that I'm just like, wow, I'm like you know, I I haven't seen you, like I feel like I haven't been with you, and even it's just like those times because, like, exactly, there are days where, like, I'm up out of the house early and then I come home and it's dinner time, then it's just like dinner we have.
00:04:17.601 --> 00:04:29.281
You know, it's kind of like everyone's having a conversation, then we're cleaning up, then it's time to put the kids to bed and either I do bedtime or you do bedtime primarily.
00:04:29.281 --> 00:04:59.565
You do bedtime most of the times and things like that, and then, you know, I'm still trying to like wrap up whatever it is at work and then, like, there's times we'll, you know, probably have about one or two hours worth of conversation you know what I'm saying like face to face, whereas, like I know, we talk, like I know that whatever free moment I have, or if I'm like in between like running from call to call, I call you automatically and like we talk throughout the day.
00:04:59.565 --> 00:05:16.151
But I mean just as far as like that one-on-one you know and so like, due to that, like there's times that like I would feel like that you know exactly like I miss you, like there's times I miss you, like I just miss being with you and just being just us.
00:05:19.704 --> 00:05:31.132
Yeah, for sure, begin an hour some days, right, because you know I'm not the only one that needs your attention and you're not the only one that needs my attention, right?
00:05:31.132 --> 00:05:45.511
So, like the older girls might want to talk to you about something, or you know, you just feel like you should spend time with them because you want to, and then I'm getting the babies to bed and then I fall asleep because I'm exhausted.
00:05:45.511 --> 00:05:47.754
I'm in early bedtime.
00:05:47.754 --> 00:05:49.762
You know I try to stay up for you.
00:05:49.762 --> 00:05:50.562
You know what?
00:05:50.562 --> 00:06:05.812
Yeah, exactly like at one point you you actually asked me like can you set an alarm so that we can spend time together, because you're falling asleep so early and by the time I come to bed, you know you've barely spoken all day.
00:06:05.932 --> 00:06:09.473
Like right because, yeah, because you went to bed early.
00:06:09.473 --> 00:06:12.543
I'm like you already kind of have like a little cat app in before.
00:06:12.543 --> 00:06:15.288
I'm like so you're good and I'll do like that.
00:06:15.288 --> 00:06:20.329
And then, like I would basically come in and then like I would set the like alarm on my phone and like the alarm would go off.
00:06:20.370 --> 00:06:26.261
I'm like wrapping up everything, like running upstairs yeah, I just have my 9 30 pm alarm.
00:06:26.380 --> 00:06:36.180
I like labeled it, babe time yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but yeah, yeah, no, no, no, but um, it's a huge imagination.
00:06:36.341 --> 00:06:43.245
No, it's not enough, but uh, but no, exactly it's like, it's like we would have like that time to reconnect.
00:06:43.947 --> 00:07:34.079
Because you know, and I know, it's like because, like, like in speaking to what I was saying, like one thing that we do great is that you communicate how you feel about it and you're like, well, like there's just days that like I don't talk to an adult all day, yeah, right, and also like where we tell his best friends, and so it's just you want to talk to me, I want to talk to you and I just want to be there and just you know, just to be us with each other and, like you know, to have that connection, like that physical connection in in holding one another and things like that, and kind of being able to talk about the day, talk about what's concerning us in those things, and and you would like just just go ahead and just tell me you know what happened in your day, because it's just like it, like the other day, like I feel like my day is stressful.
00:07:34.139 --> 00:07:38.504
Yeah, I think, in comparison to yours, it's your.
00:07:38.504 --> 00:08:01.312
Your day is probably way more stressful in the sense of like all the personalities, all the kids and the driving and like the appointments, and then you have we have the dog, and then it's like maintaining the house and dinner and then you never mind any other anxieties that you have personally about.
00:08:01.973 --> 00:08:04.165
You know everything personally about you.
00:08:04.185 --> 00:08:16.062
Know everything, yeah bread die no um, yeah, I mean I don't know if my day is more stressful than you, but I do than yours.
00:08:16.062 --> 00:08:28.507
But I do think that like, yeah, you're working and yeah, you're driving from call to call, but you're also like speaking to other adults or like you get to work with the guys.
00:08:28.507 --> 00:08:48.188
You're joking around, like you're having a good time, like I'm like literally always with the kids right, like I like live for the like 20 minutes that I'm driving back on the days that I dropped them both off at school and I can like listen to part of the podcast that I want to listen to.
00:08:48.188 --> 00:08:52.039
You know, that's like my like alone time.
00:08:52.039 --> 00:08:55.609
But then I'm just like immediately into like okay, what do I need to get done?
00:08:55.609 --> 00:08:57.662
Like, okay, we don't have bread, I need to make it.
00:08:57.701 --> 00:08:59.626
Like the kids need snacks, I need to make them.
00:08:59.626 --> 00:09:02.000
Like you know, what am I going to make for dinner?
00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:03.384
Do I need anything for dinner?
00:09:03.384 --> 00:09:11.105
Um, you know, and like I don't, my mom works, my sister works, so I don't.
00:09:11.105 --> 00:09:19.190
It's not like I have anyone who, like I'm talking to, you know, regularly throughout the day and then I'm just like back with the kids.
00:09:19.190 --> 00:09:35.244
So I really, really look forward to like just even if it's like 20 minutes, that we get to talk in bed like that's like the highlight of my day because, like I really crave that, I need that right and so like I think that that's where it's like.
00:09:35.384 --> 00:09:38.539
But even that like, that's just like one part of it, right, like it's like.
00:09:38.539 --> 00:09:40.105
You don't want it to be always just about like.
00:09:40.105 --> 00:09:42.852
You don't want like, and I know it's like, but even that like, that's just like one part of it, right, like it's like.
00:09:42.852 --> 00:09:43.956
You don't want it to be always just about like.
00:09:43.956 --> 00:09:45.099
You don't want like, and I know it's like how it is like.
00:09:45.099 --> 00:09:45.559
For me is that like.
00:09:45.559 --> 00:09:49.168
I just don't want all of our time to just be just like that, like I miss, like.
00:09:49.708 --> 00:09:54.063
One thing about us is like I love and I've always have love.
00:09:54.063 --> 00:10:00.231
Like when we go out, we always have a blast, like you and I together being out.
00:10:00.231 --> 00:10:04.908
Like love food, like that's that's our gym, like that's our thing.
00:10:04.908 --> 00:10:15.365
Like we're drinking, like it was, you know, going out to dinner, having a great dinner, have some nice cocktails, and like we're all of a sudden we're like freaking like gordon ramsay and like food critics.
00:10:15.365 --> 00:10:17.230
You're like, oh yeah, like, did you try this?
00:10:17.230 --> 00:10:23.721
Like we're just like, like we would always order, like our number one and number two dish like and stuff like that we'd share and things like that.
00:10:23.721 --> 00:10:26.027
And you know, for me, that's what I love.
00:10:26.067 --> 00:10:47.356
Like I love just being with you and then like, if all we're doing is talking about the food, like that's what I love about it, and you know yeah, because I do feel like like our end of the day, where we're just talking about what happened that day or concerns that I might have about the kids.
00:10:47.356 --> 00:10:49.219
Yeah, like the end of the day it's a dump.
00:10:49.679 --> 00:10:54.407
You're just dumping your day Pretty much right, getting everything off my chest.
00:10:54.407 --> 00:11:06.503
We're not just talking Like we're talking about things that we need to address, like things with the kids, like concerns that I have or that you have or you know.
00:11:06.503 --> 00:11:11.789
We're talking about money or whatever, like it's not just like fun.
00:11:11.789 --> 00:11:17.691
I think, like when we did have that little Whole Foods date, like that was fun.
00:11:18.392 --> 00:11:25.671
It was, and that's what I'm saying Like I feel like just like those little times that like we've had and like same thing, like we would go for our walks.
00:11:25.951 --> 00:11:26.214
Yeah.
00:11:26.676 --> 00:11:28.222
You know what I'm saying Like, hey, like and like.
00:11:28.222 --> 00:11:44.567
That's something that you always be able to like, hey, like, do know, we just go for a regular walk, but and I think that that's where it is it's just like for us.
00:11:44.567 --> 00:11:55.366
For as much as I love us like doing like the dinners and like tonight like going out for the night and and, and we got a hotel room and stuff like that.
00:11:56.107 --> 00:12:21.893
For as much as I love that, I almost like live for the small, the walks yeah the whole food states, like trips to like walgreens or like, or, or just something like that, like where it's just like you like even every example, like even like times when we come down and shoot the podcast yeah, I was just gonna say that, like times that we're alone in the car together, because it's so rare for that to happen.
00:12:21.893 --> 00:12:31.831
It's so nice Like it really is that it's just a guy in that sense it's just like, because it's always like the kids.
00:12:33.259 --> 00:12:38.664
Yeah, and it's funny like the girls were asking why we had to go away the babies, not the girls.
00:12:38.664 --> 00:12:42.580
The girls were asking why we had to go away the babies, not the girls.
00:12:42.580 --> 00:12:51.442
And I was explaining to Kimmy, like you know how our house feels happy and we have so much love, and when me and Daddy hug you and Cece come running over and say, oh yay, it's hug time.
00:12:51.562 --> 00:12:54.551
I don't know Nothing.
00:12:54.731 --> 00:13:09.167
I know, but I was explaining to her like if me and Daddy don't do things like for just each other, like without you guys, then you know we can stop being happy and then our house stops feeling like that.
00:13:09.928 --> 00:13:11.767
Right and how it translates into other things.
00:13:11.767 --> 00:13:13.144
And, at the end of the day, there's something.
00:13:13.144 --> 00:13:15.009
It's like it all starts with us.
00:13:15.009 --> 00:13:23.888
Like it starts with us as like the examples, examples of, and that's what the reality is.
00:13:23.888 --> 00:13:32.642
Like we're going to be their examples of what a relationship is, what a marriage is, how do you like treat your significant other, and stuff like that, and I think that that's something that we really prioritize with one another.
00:13:32.642 --> 00:13:51.831
Is like that love and respect between us, um and I know we touched upon it in previous episodes in the sense of that, like even when we do have difficult times, we always respect one another, and like there's never a disrespect at all and it's like we still maintain the conversations.
00:13:51.912 --> 00:13:59.809
It's like we're not like, uh, weaponizing our love or affection, like it so, yeah, we don't withhold, like I just it's just not my thing, like I don't, you know, like I'm like what's?
00:13:59.809 --> 00:14:01.927
Yeah, we don't withhold, like I just it's just not my thing, like I don't you know, like I'm like what's the point?
00:14:01.927 --> 00:14:05.706
I still like want to talk to you.
00:14:05.706 --> 00:14:19.187
So like I feel like if something happened like I don't know, if, like my sister told me something, or like one of our friends or whatever, I'm like you know, get like, oh, by the way, like guess what happened, you know, because I just want to tell you, like I want to, I want to spill the tea with you.
00:14:19.307 --> 00:14:24.615
You know I love tea yeah, it's like, it's like the spanish to me with the novellas.
00:14:24.654 --> 00:14:29.171
It's like make your coffee.
00:14:29.291 --> 00:14:45.120
I have something to tell you get my bustelo and I'm like, but you know it's like yes my point about telling them me talking about that with cammy is like we it's.
00:14:46.302 --> 00:14:52.893
It's not easy for us to find those little pockets of time alone, it's not.
00:14:52.893 --> 00:14:54.581
I mean, we have five kids.
00:14:54.581 --> 00:15:00.186
They all have you know activities, they friends, they want our time too.
00:15:00.186 --> 00:15:10.855
I think, especially for you like, because obviously you're not from as much as me your attention is really divided.
00:15:12.157 --> 00:15:16.041
It's tough and like it definitely is, and like those are the times and like.
00:15:16.041 --> 00:15:29.581
So I mean like it's a good thing that you brought that up, because you know, there's one thing that I know that I want to work on is being more so.
00:15:29.581 --> 00:15:44.477
What I'm looking for, like it's, it's being more disciplined with my time in that sense of that, because there are times when I am home and I am like I'm elsewhere, and you know it and like and it's something that I know it upsets you.
00:15:44.477 --> 00:15:47.690
There's times that you say things, there's times that you don't.
00:15:47.690 --> 00:15:50.681
But I know that you're like well, why am I even talking?
00:15:50.681 --> 00:15:57.056
You know what I'm saying and yeah, I mean I try to.
00:15:57.256 --> 00:16:03.666
I mean I don't want to say bite my tongue, but like I try to just have grace about it because I know like you're not doing it intentionally.
00:16:03.666 --> 00:16:15.711
But you know, like even the last time we went out for a walk, like I'm like, okay, this is very frustrating because I asked you to come out for a walk with me and you did, but the whole time you were on your phone.
00:16:15.711 --> 00:16:20.947
The whole time you're taking phone calls like you were oh, I forgot, I have this meeting.
00:16:20.947 --> 00:16:24.013
Like I have to get on it, like and I get it right again.
00:16:24.013 --> 00:16:27.208
I'm not gonna say anything to you about it.
00:16:27.208 --> 00:16:39.344
Sometimes, when it comes to the kids, it can be frustrating, like if the babies are trying to get your attention yeah or even the older girls sometimes, will like have to repeat themselves multiple times.
00:16:40.784 --> 00:16:47.552
I know you're working on it, which is why I don't like harp on you about it, and I also know it's difficult, right?
00:16:47.552 --> 00:16:49.673
I mean, you're the only guy in our house.
00:16:49.673 --> 00:16:52.657
You're everybody's favorite person in the house.
00:16:52.657 --> 00:17:01.326
Everyone wants your attention and like I'm a needy person, like I want attention.
00:17:01.326 --> 00:17:06.345
So when I'm not getting it like it does, it does frustrate me, you know yeah.
00:17:07.126 --> 00:17:07.627
I mean actually.
00:17:07.627 --> 00:17:14.586
I mean it was combined with a good old butt squeeze or something like that, but like that's not.
00:17:15.186 --> 00:17:16.609
That's your lovely squeeze.
00:17:16.609 --> 00:17:24.446
I want quality time and for you to tell me how awesome I am.
00:17:24.446 --> 00:17:32.313
Like you're like, just touch me we're simple creatures.
00:17:33.785 --> 00:18:02.525
But you know you're right, I mean like it is like those things that like I constantly, always need to kind of think about, like I need to kind of keep myself in check about it because, like you're right, because like like I'll get home and it's just like, literally, it's like my brain will like just tune out and like, literally, I can be like in a room full of people and I will just not hear anything and I'm just so in tune with what it is that's going through my mind at the time and you know.
00:18:02.545 --> 00:18:39.188
But I realized that you know it's it's not prioritizing my time with you guys and like it's definitely things I mean like even even on the ride here it's me calling it out is that I have to be better about scheduling my day and, and I think that as you start to become more busy in life, how important prioritizing in, in, in not being wasteful with your time and even like to the sense of scrolling and and being on your phone and those interactions with that.
00:18:39.188 --> 00:18:44.366
Like there's times that like we would go and like as soon as we got into bed.
00:18:44.366 --> 00:18:49.230
We're just like we'd hook our phones and we just hug like we didn't even need to say anything.
00:18:49.230 --> 00:18:49.893
We would just.
00:18:50.615 --> 00:19:02.653
It would basically be like yeah, like we just need to just be with one another well, yeah, I mean I think, like on another podcast that I listen to, he talks all the time about how phones have created like this gap between people.
00:19:02.653 --> 00:19:11.180
Like you can be sitting in the same room as somebody and be worlds apart, right, like you are just not paying attention.
00:19:11.180 --> 00:19:25.656
Like not you, I'm just saying the general you, right, but I'm like how are we going to be in bed together, laying next to each other, like just scrolling on our phones, like sending each other memes, sending each other memes?
00:19:25.678 --> 00:19:30.048
like well, we could just be talking right and like it's funny because like it's, it's like.
00:19:30.048 --> 00:19:32.883
Those are actually videos I remember seeing online too.
00:19:32.883 --> 00:19:34.146
It's just like it's like.
00:19:34.146 --> 00:19:39.469
Oh, I date night with my husband, like, and it just shows them like grabbing like a bowl of popcorn.
00:19:39.469 --> 00:19:56.809
They just hop up on onto the couch and then like they just pull out their phones and like it'll like, or like they're sitting on one end of the couch and the other person on the other end of the couch and like they're just sending each other memes, like well, you see that meme essentially like, yeah, it's like, and I get it like for some people that that if that's what works for you and that's what sometimes like you're happy with that.
00:19:57.069 --> 00:20:10.912
Sometimes, like just being in the same room as someone is like nice, like I don't mind necessarily if, like, I'm reading a book and you're, you know, doing something on your phone or you're reading or whatever, and we're just like laying in bed with like our feet entangled.
00:20:10.912 --> 00:20:13.301
You know, you got to make sure that your feet are touching.
00:20:13.301 --> 00:20:18.028
Yeah, you got to make sure that your feet are touching, you know.
00:20:18.028 --> 00:20:28.255
But I do think there's something to be said for like yep, but like we gotta put our devices away for you, especially like you're on them all day for work.
00:20:28.255 --> 00:20:33.105
I mean, you have two phones on both of them constantly.
00:20:33.405 --> 00:20:42.615
It's like you need a you, you need, I do even for like my own, my own, that's what I'm saying like for your own like sanity and your own well-being, right?
00:20:43.198 --> 00:20:53.423
because and I've brought it up to you like sometimes I'm like I'm talking to you and you're like texting somebody.
00:20:53.423 --> 00:21:02.789
You're texting somebody about work, or I'm assuming work, because I don't think you would just like personally text someone if we were in the middle of a conversation.
00:21:02.789 --> 00:21:21.454
Um, but it's tough, right, because, like I said previously, I'm someone who does need a lot of attention and I know I don't always bring up things to you at the most opportune times.
00:21:21.454 --> 00:21:24.449
It's something that I've like been trying to be better about.
00:21:24.449 --> 00:21:39.644
Like when you're working from home, meaning, oh right, like I'm like I know you're working, but I'm like I got to tell you something more Like this is on my mind, I want to talk about it right now, and I know you're like struggling.
00:21:39.644 --> 00:21:42.109
Oh, I gotta work, that's.
00:21:42.190 --> 00:21:44.905
That's that that it would think I'll never say no to you.
00:21:44.905 --> 00:21:52.769
I know I'll never say no to you and that is definitely something that, like, I get like that awkwardness and so like.
00:21:52.769 --> 00:21:58.605
Therefore, like, I'll do like the oh, look at this over here and I'm there like, oh, you gotta get this thing done.
00:21:58.605 --> 00:22:00.950
Sorry, like and it's, and it is like one of those things.
00:22:00.950 --> 00:22:18.906
It is tough because, like I get it, like it's I, I completely get it and it's like this dance and this that we have to do with one another in that sense, but like I think I have an understanding and and grace for one another, is definitely a reasons why I think that it doesn't turn into like or an escalate into like a fight or something like that.
00:22:19.548 --> 00:22:23.800
Um, like, whereas I think, like with all, with some people it probably would yeah, do you know what I'm saying?
00:22:23.800 --> 00:22:28.027
Because it'd be like, well, I'm trying to talk to you and I need to talk to you right now and you go, well, I'm trying to work, and then it's just like.
00:22:28.027 --> 00:22:31.261
It turns into like no one really understanding or hearing one another.
00:22:31.261 --> 00:22:32.663
It's just, it's just a battle, right?
00:22:32.663 --> 00:22:34.247
Yeah, so I think it's like.
00:22:34.247 --> 00:22:39.413
It's definitely like a lot of like give and take in kind of working with one another in that sense right.
00:22:39.713 --> 00:22:43.500
I think so, because I just try to be like no, you know what, like let's just talk about it later.
00:22:43.500 --> 00:22:56.666
Because I know I know you're working and, even though I feel like I might feel like a little stung in that moment because, like, I do want your attention, I also understand that, like you have other things that like you need to work on.
00:22:56.666 --> 00:23:02.747
It's like a tough thing, right, because you're working from home, but it's your business.
00:23:02.747 --> 00:23:11.711
Like I wonder if, like you were working from home but it was like you know, like my brother-in-law works from home but it's for another company, so I never thought about that.
00:23:11.819 --> 00:23:16.380
Yeah, I think that for me, because I'm the boss, I could essentially like I'm creating my own schedule.
00:23:16.579 --> 00:23:25.805
Yeah okay, so you can take the time to talk to me right now where, like if you were working a nine to five from home for somebody else, I think I would just other reaction that.
00:23:25.826 --> 00:23:27.228
That's true.
00:23:27.228 --> 00:23:29.292
Yeah, I love my boss, I mean so.
00:23:29.292 --> 00:23:32.345
I mean he's like well, I won't be mad at you for this.
00:23:32.345 --> 00:23:35.131
You know it's what's the thing.
00:23:35.131 --> 00:23:37.000
Don't worry, I'll talk to the boss.
00:23:37.000 --> 00:23:38.183
He says it's okay.
00:23:38.183 --> 00:23:40.810
Hey, you know what?
00:23:40.810 --> 00:23:41.231
I never thought.
00:23:41.231 --> 00:23:46.124
Yeah, that's actually probably what exactly that it is that makes it like that.
00:23:46.124 --> 00:24:08.134
But I think that you know, with all that being said, I think it's so important that you know, like, even tonight, like it's just something for us, like it's just you know it doesn't need to be anything crazy, it's just something for us, like it's just you know it doesn't need to be anything crazy, it's just one night, and but it's because it's we prioritize.
00:24:08.134 --> 00:24:16.788
It's like it's something that I think it's the fact that we both articulated to one another hey, like I just need to be with you alone.
00:24:17.009 --> 00:24:17.210
Yeah.
00:24:17.861 --> 00:24:19.186
And it just needs to just be us.
00:24:19.186 --> 00:24:22.838
And what's funny was that we're like well, what do you want to do?
00:24:22.838 --> 00:24:26.931
We're just like, honestly, it's like I don't care.
00:24:26.931 --> 00:24:33.390
We're just being like in the hotel room order room service and just like not doing a thing.
00:24:33.390 --> 00:24:38.087
And it's just like and you know, we both say to one another that whole thing thing.
00:24:38.087 --> 00:24:50.439
It's just like I don't care, whatever you do, as long as we're with each other, like, yeah, such losers, yeah but yeah, no, like I don't, I'm like you want to go out to dinner, I don't know, like.
00:24:50.479 --> 00:24:56.402
I guess we'll kind of call it when we, when we get there, see how we feel yeah, right see how we feel about us, about that kind.
00:24:56.422 --> 00:24:59.490
I think ultimately it's just like we just love being with one another.
00:24:59.609 --> 00:25:03.859
It's just like and we don't get the opportunity to be alone very often, Just to be alone.
00:25:04.161 --> 00:25:05.708
Like and just being quiet.
00:25:05.708 --> 00:25:07.193
How about that Just quiet?
00:25:08.439 --> 00:25:10.547
Yeah, not having to worry about anyone walking in.
00:25:11.840 --> 00:25:22.584
Oh, my God, god forbid, like you come up the stairs freaking, they're in a hopper suit.
00:25:22.604 --> 00:25:26.675
boom boot, the door open like and it's just like, and it's just like, what are you guys doing?
00:25:26.675 --> 00:25:27.478
Don't worry about it.
00:25:27.478 --> 00:25:45.877
Brutal, absolutely brutal, um, but yeah, like just be able to relax, like I don't have to cook for anybody, like you, you don't have to clean up, like you know, because obviously that's a big thing, like I, like the downstairs needs to be clean, like before everybody goes to bed, you know.
00:25:45.877 --> 00:25:47.201
So, like that takes time.
00:25:47.201 --> 00:25:54.859
It's just there's so much that goes into that go, yeah, that goes into both of our days.
00:25:54.859 --> 00:25:58.614
You know, that makes it difficult for us to have that alone time.
00:25:58.614 --> 00:26:06.019
One thing I think we're good about is, like it's so funny because, like everyone will always ask us like, oh, have you seen this tv show?
00:26:06.019 --> 00:26:07.305
Like, have you seen this tv show?
00:26:07.305 --> 00:26:18.368
And we're like, we're like not even trying to sound like better than anyone at all, but like we barely watch tv because, um, when we would be watching something.
00:26:18.368 --> 00:26:23.895
That's like the time that we normally take every night to like be together, right.
00:26:24.560 --> 00:26:31.134
But there are like those nights that you would say to me like, oh, like, hey, like do you want to watch a show with me?
00:26:31.154 --> 00:26:32.180
Yeah, let's watch a movie or something.
00:26:32.180 --> 00:26:34.288
I'll watch a movie and stuff like that.
00:26:34.288 --> 00:26:53.292
I mean, honestly, when we were in Denver like my favorite days that we were there were when we ordered room service after the conference and binge watched Friday Night Lights, like that was literally the best we ate in bed we ordered that pineapple creme brulee twice because it was so good I know you again.
00:26:53.292 --> 00:26:56.906
I kept calling down.
00:26:56.906 --> 00:26:58.787
I'm like, can I get another one of those?
00:26:59.740 --> 00:27:00.542
So embarrassing.
00:27:00.542 --> 00:27:13.520
Yeah, yeah, I know like it's like the most gluttonous thing that we do, like we're like, we just like like sleeping in our bed and just like we eat in bed eating creme brulee, watching Friday Night Lights on an iPad oh, we watched it on the.
00:27:13.721 --> 00:27:15.144
We finished it on the iPad.
00:27:15.144 --> 00:27:29.152
Um, on the plane, on the plane, that's right, yeah, yeah, but I do think like those were like my favorite days that we were there, and like we obviously went out to dinner, like a couple of times when we were there, too, we attempted to go to a concert, but that's another thing too.
00:27:29.192 --> 00:27:32.994
Yeah, yeah, but, like you know, what's funny was that it also reminded me of, like the other time.
00:27:32.994 --> 00:27:34.942
It's like an understanding and hearing your partner.
00:27:34.942 --> 00:27:38.647
In that sense is that, like you know, I'll never forget.
00:27:38.647 --> 00:27:56.913
Like that time that, um, I woke up early and the thing is it's so hard for us, like I said, it's like our, our alone time is so hard because of, like, if we're not near the babies, the babies are immediately like well, where are they?
00:27:56.913 --> 00:27:57.881
What are they doing, what?
00:27:57.881 --> 00:27:58.603
And stuff like that.
00:27:58.603 --> 00:27:59.505
So it's like I'll never forget.
00:27:59.505 --> 00:28:11.188
One time I woke up early and and I walked over to like, I snuck out, like thinking from like selena, I walked over to you, I'm like do you want to go downstairs, have coffee and watch friday night?
00:28:11.248 --> 00:28:14.957
like you can't tell, friday night lights is like my comfort show.
00:28:14.957 --> 00:28:33.275
I've watched it like five times over and then I finally introduced you to it last year and got you addicted to Coach Taylor, coach, taylor, coach and Tim Texas for up Texas for up yeah, but yeah, no, I did it was, but you're absolutely right, like it was.
00:28:33.516 --> 00:28:45.064
I loved that when you did that, when you woke me up and you were like let's go have coffee and watch Friday Night Lights and we got in like probably an episode before the babies woke up, but it was like so nice just getting to spend that quiet time with you.
00:28:45.124 --> 00:29:00.700
Well, your eyes like lit up, like you were like what, like it was like, and that's like we realized it doesn't take a big fancy dinner, it doesn't take, you know, all this elaborate planning it.
00:29:00.700 --> 00:29:14.862
Just I think it just like takes prioritizing your time and knowing that it's like being with you, like that's, that's that recharge for us and for me.
00:29:14.862 --> 00:29:23.786
Like being with you, it's like that's where I gained my strength from, that's where I continue to go on and do the things I do.
00:29:23.786 --> 00:29:32.686
That push me forward, that push me harder, is being with you yeah, like a little battery recharge big time.
00:29:32.948 --> 00:29:33.689
Yeah, big time.
00:29:33.689 --> 00:29:43.914
Because, like I mean, like I've said it countless times on on this podcast, is that you know have I could not do what I do every day if it wasn't for you.
00:29:43.914 --> 00:30:29.444
And so, like it's things that I realized that for me, even for me, and our success and my success and our success as a family and as a as a, we push forward, like how much of it is from you that, like I need to feel that love and support you like, and I need to feel that we're solid like in in, in in that like you know, feeling like that strength of our love, in that sense, right yeah um, those things that matter, like everything to me, and it's just like, and if I, if, if there's time that goes like, I mean like jesus christ, like like for us, it's like before, like two or three days, do you know what I'm saying?
00:30:29.684 --> 00:30:32.910
of, of, of you know where?
00:30:32.910 --> 00:30:35.634
We're just so busy yeah we're just like.
00:30:35.634 --> 00:30:38.086
So it's not like what you say.
00:30:38.125 --> 00:31:00.263
Don't love me anymore, like I know you're the worst, like, like like I think it's like well, let me like say like, like if we don't, if we're not constantly just having like that, that alone time with one another, just for like a little bit like in the day, like so about like you didn't love me, you love me, you didn't even love me, you mean like, what do you even do for me?
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