Apple Podcasts
Spotify
Castro
RSS Feed
Ever found yourself reaching for a slice of cake or a bag of chips during stressful times? You're not alone. This episode is a candid look at the trials of emotional eating, a habit I know all too well. Growing up, food was the heart of family gatherings, a tradition that turned into a source of comfort during personal crises. We've all faced moments of backsliding into old habits, especially when life throws us curveballs. Join me as we confront the very real struggle of regaining weight and the mental fog that clouds our best intentions, all while trying to be pillars of strength for those we care about.
There's a delicate balance between teaching our kids resilience and setting a poor example through our lifestyle choices. As I navigate this tightrope, I'm constantly reminded of the potency of practicing what I preach. It's not just about the food on our plates; it's about the messages we send with every decision we make. This episode doesn't shy away from the tough questions as it examines the ripple effects of our habits on our children's behavior. With insights from my friend John's awe-inspiring fitness journey and my own experiences as a parent, we uncover the ways we can inspire and motivate those around us, starting with ourselves.
True transformation is an inside job, and this episode is a deep dive into the mental retraining that lays the groundwork for lasting change. It's not just about shedding pounds or muscle gain; it's about sharpening the mind and finding clarity through practices like meditation. We discuss the importance of establishing consistent habits, confronting past traumas, and building mental toughness, not just for success but for the journey towards personal growth. So tune in and join me on this path of self-discovery, where we learn that the key to unlocking our potential is often found within the quiet corners of our minds.
Chapters
00:22 - Discussing Emotional Eating and Backslides
09:41 - Impact of Lifestyle Choices on Anxiety
14:05 - Parenting and Personal Growth Journey
18:33 - Building Habits for Personal Growth
32:12 - Building Mental Toughness for Success
40:19 - Mental Retraining for Personal Growth
Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:03.004 --> 00:00:04.488
so you want to talk about our backslides?
00:00:04.488 --> 00:00:10.086
Yeah, or probably don't want to talk about it, but we're gonna talk about it.
00:00:10.569 --> 00:00:14.242
I mean, I, I think it's it's important to talk about the backslide.
00:00:14.242 --> 00:00:39.826
I so, just so you guys know, like, what a backslide is, and so essentially is that we're rocking, like we're doing great habits-wise in the sense of that eating good, working out, you know being very constructive with our time and you know really feeling so great about it like ourselves.
00:00:39.826 --> 00:00:58.093
And it was just a difficult time happened and we let it become an excuse which then led to us having a backslide.
00:00:58.914 --> 00:01:06.427
Yeah, so we went through like kind of a tough time in our personal lives and back towards the beginning of February.
00:01:06.427 --> 00:01:10.965
So we're going on about two months ago now and we have not recovered.
00:01:14.442 --> 00:01:19.841
It's not funny obviously I think I think it's like funny, because like it's not funny, but I think it's.
00:01:19.841 --> 00:01:44.298
It's kind of like it's not funny, but I think it's kind of like we have to laugh at the fact that we now realize that in this backslide, you know, it has only made it harder.
00:01:47.040 --> 00:01:47.441
Yeah, of course, right.
00:01:47.441 --> 00:02:38.199
So I've talked before on the podcast about how I did 75 hard and obviously anyone who knows knows it's a really difficult thing to complete and it's so much hard work, right, and I was doing great and I kind of took the month of January off just to, like you know, let my body recoup from double workouts every day and stuff like that and I but I was still eating really healthy, I was still walking, all those things, and so I maintained and everything throughout January and then at the beginning of February was when that that thing kind of happened and I am such an emotional eater and it's something that I'm trying to deconstruct in my mind and I I have some ideas on why I'm such an emotional eater.
00:02:38.199 --> 00:02:40.806
Um, food's definitely a comfort for me.
00:02:40.806 --> 00:02:46.804
Like I grew up in a family, that food was like really important, right, I mean it still is right.
00:02:47.064 --> 00:03:17.662
You and I kind of like we started kind of processing through that like, because obviously we associate food with a good time because of like, especially with like your family, like you know, everyone gets together and in is on Sundays and it's like the whole family's there and so it's just nothing but right and like associate the good food with that and so yeah, like we always had dinner together as a family in my house and then, like once or twice a week, we would go eat at Nana's and Nana always had food and you know, nana was such a good cook.
00:03:17.762 --> 00:03:52.816
It is such a good cook and I think, um, I love food, like I grew up eating like really good homemade food and I've always just, you know some people, like my mom as an example, like she just eats to live, but like I live to eat, like right, and I'm one of those people that when I'm sad, when I'm upset, I want to eat, I want the comfort of eating, and it's disordered and it's something I really need to break down and like try to recognize it as I do it.
00:03:55.599 --> 00:04:13.086
But when that happened in our, in our lives, like I ate and ate and ate and eight, and I stopped exercising consistently, I still would kind of like, here or there, go for a walk, like you know, whatever.
00:04:13.086 --> 00:04:35.581
I lost 25 pounds when I did 75 hard, which was brought me down to 50 pounds total from my highest, but I still wanted to lose another 25, you know, and it took me 75 days to lose 25 pounds and, like I've said to you a few times, like it literally takes like five days, five days to put on five pounds.
00:04:35.581 --> 00:04:49.398
You know you can just do it so easily and you know now I'm kind of back in that same place that I was prior to doing 75 hard of gaining and losing the same five pounds over and over again.
00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:51.644
And space of that rut.
00:04:51.644 --> 00:05:15.372
Like you, just yourself, in like this fucking rut again and, like you know, like for me, I you know, when February happened, I didn't, I don't know, it was so tough, Like I think, I tried to block it out and then subconsciously it just absolutely derailed me.
00:05:15.680 --> 00:05:18.437
Yeah, I think it was creeping in where you didn't even realize it, correct?
00:05:19.120 --> 00:05:30.826
And so, like I was just trying my hardest to keep everything together, Because obviously it's like you know, I'm the man, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the father, I'm the husband, like I'm, I'm trying to stay strong for everybody.
00:05:30.826 --> 00:05:37.365
And so I'm just like I, I don't have a, I don't have the time right now to be emotional, right, I just need to just be strong.
00:05:37.365 --> 00:06:03.766
And it put me in such a mental fog that I just just like you, it's like I, like you know, I love food, like, like food is like a comfort to me, right, and cause that brings me joy in a sense, cause I associate it with good things and things.
00:06:03.766 --> 00:06:13.033
And you know, I'll never forget, like getting back, like that day, and I'm like I'm ordering a calzone right and that like.
00:06:13.072 --> 00:06:37.187
And just just so everyone knows, like leading up to that week I mean leading up to that day you had been on a very, very strict diet oh my god remember like I was making, like very specifically measuring out chicken breast, like measuring out broccoli, like yeah, like I literally ate the same thing every single day at the same time, every single day.
00:06:37.187 --> 00:06:42.942
It was like regimented, like I waited, I weighed out everything.
00:06:42.942 --> 00:06:44.944
It was this is what I was eating, that was it.
00:06:44.944 --> 00:06:54.656
And you know I, I gave myself the excuse in the sense of, like you know, life is so hard right now.
00:06:54.656 --> 00:06:55.983
I just I can't.
00:06:55.983 --> 00:06:59.732
Life is so hard that I just need something to be easy.
00:06:59.732 --> 00:07:05.771
And it was a cop-out, complete and absolute cop-out.
00:07:06.961 --> 00:07:32.339
And in me thinking that right, in me thinking, well, this is like life's so hard right now, I see something to be easy that I took an easy way out, so much to think, but it only made, it only amplified everything.
00:07:32.339 --> 00:07:49.908
Because now, all these good habits that was developing, like how I was feeling good, because I was eating right, and like I didn't feel like ass, like like I didn't feel so weighted down, like or so so bogged down, um me working out, like I had energy.
00:07:49.908 --> 00:07:52.194
Then I went, you know I stopped working out.
00:07:52.194 --> 00:07:54.084
So then, therefore, I started feeling tired.
00:07:54.084 --> 00:08:03.800
I started like, oh man, like I started feeling so bogged down and at that point now, like you're just backsliding, like one thing, I can honestly say that that we didn't do that.
00:08:03.821 --> 00:08:06.026
We didn't drink again yeah, I was gonna bring that up.
00:08:06.026 --> 00:08:11.524
I am really proud of us for not being like you know what I need?
00:08:11.524 --> 00:08:16.283
A drink, because if ever there was a time, right and like.
00:08:16.302 --> 00:08:23.612
for me, what was crazy was that like I didn't get the cravings to drink.
00:08:23.612 --> 00:08:31.009
I never had cravings leading up to that, but there was times like I'm like man, I just want a bourbon.
00:08:32.011 --> 00:08:32.192
Yeah.
00:08:33.041 --> 00:08:34.004
Like it was just like.
00:08:34.004 --> 00:08:41.046
That was like kind of like one of those things I'm just like and it's such a slippery slope, like it's just kind of like now.
00:08:41.046 --> 00:08:53.504
Like you're just like now, like you're falling down the mountain, you're just clawing and you're just trying not to freaking, but like you're just going down and and it's just so tough and it's like it's just obviously.
00:08:53.504 --> 00:08:59.645
It's something that like we're not holding each other accountable because we're like we understand one another.
00:08:59.645 --> 00:09:11.070
It's just like you're sad, I'm sad and like we're just like we're coping and this is how we're coping right, but in using those skills no sorry, those are not skills.
00:09:11.471 --> 00:09:15.066
Those are not skills that we should be using to cope.
00:09:15.066 --> 00:09:21.922
Right because by doing the easier things and those moments, we're making it harder.
00:09:21.922 --> 00:09:32.070
Right because, for me personally, like when I eat like shit and I don't work out, that's when my anxiety and my overstimulation kick back in.
00:09:32.070 --> 00:09:38.736
So my anxiety is already here from the situation that we're going through and it's just lingering here.
00:09:38.736 --> 00:09:52.532
Now I'm eating like shit and I'm not working out and it's like I'm surprised you can't see it coming out of my head yeah, it's just compounding, right, and and that's, that's exactly where it was.
00:09:52.591 --> 00:10:09.054
And then, like, for me it's like it would just lead into like because I have like this fog that I'm just kind of like now I can't do the stuff I need to do, and it I realize that it's become harder for me to do the things that I need to do.
00:10:09.154 --> 00:10:09.335
Yeah.
00:10:09.801 --> 00:10:15.309
And so I'm like well, it was already hard enough, as is Like I already have a problem with just focusing on doing the shit that I have to do.
00:10:15.309 --> 00:10:22.774
Now let's amplify it even more because of all these other like I'm basically like shooting myself in the foot, yeah that's what I'm saying.
00:10:29.059 --> 00:10:30.465
We're making things harder for ourselves and thinking that, like, like.
00:10:30.465 --> 00:10:30.946
But you know what it is?
00:10:30.946 --> 00:10:31.970
It's that instant gratification.
00:10:31.970 --> 00:10:36.245
It's that instant gratification of like, well, I can eat this p, I can eat this calzone right now.
00:10:36.245 --> 00:10:42.125
I'm gonna feel good for this fucking five minutes, for the first bite yeah, you know what I'm saying.
00:10:42.125 --> 00:10:47.991
And then like, obviously, because like dairy, like we're getting old now and so like we can't eat fucking dairy now.
00:10:47.991 --> 00:10:52.628
It's like, but it's like little stupid stuff, like that, like and like cheese or something that like.
00:10:52.628 --> 00:10:56.489
All of a sudden we feel like we have a lead weight in our stomachs and there's all these different things and it's just like.
00:10:58.783 --> 00:11:35.163
But then all it is you're just doing is that now you're just feeding yourself more, just so you can just keep on feeling that little hit of like yes, the dopamine hit that that initial hit and that's kind of like like the hardest thing about it and you just notice, right, like when we start eating, like that, when we stop working out, right, then it's like, instead of reading, we're on our phones, you know, instead of like doing something productive, we're, you know, sitting there watching a show or something, when, like, that's not something we would normally do.
00:11:35.163 --> 00:11:47.894
Right for me, it's like I hate the example that we're setting for the kids because it's basically showing them like when things get hard, it's just okay to just give up so it's.
00:11:48.902 --> 00:12:02.604
You know, when you said that, like, I was literally gonna say that like for me, you know, one of my great friends, literally like a brother to me, is John, right and and and John will be on the show eventually.
00:12:02.604 --> 00:12:10.366
But you know, in that I talk to him all the time because, like I mean, he's a huge motivation for me.
00:12:10.366 --> 00:12:15.172
He's in this gym seven days a week killing it.
00:12:15.172 --> 00:12:27.065
The guy's an absolute special, super disciplined, and you know, when I have the backslide he's somebody that kind of like slaps you back, slaps you back and stuff like that.
00:12:27.065 --> 00:12:41.647
I love him for that and it's like I was talking to him and I'm like what's crazy was that when I was at peak, when I was rocking and both killing it.
00:12:41.647 --> 00:12:50.347
I think about how it translated to the girls and how the girls friends like Mia, more specifically Mia would be like she set a huge goal.
00:12:50.347 --> 00:12:51.631
I want to go to Phillips.
00:12:51.851 --> 00:12:52.033
Yep.
00:12:54.279 --> 00:12:58.010
She's going to study help every day.
00:12:58.010 --> 00:13:00.668
She's doing this and she's doing that and she's rocking it.
00:13:00.668 --> 00:13:04.788
I'm going to go work out, I'm going to go get a workout in Rocking it.
00:13:04.788 --> 00:13:07.506
Yeah, like kiddo, like good for you.
00:13:07.506 --> 00:13:09.186
Like, if you want something, you got to work for it.
00:13:09.186 --> 00:13:09.727
Boom, boom, boom.
00:13:09.727 --> 00:13:27.113
Then I noticed that when I backslid, and yeah, I'm supposed to be doing something and I'm not, I noticed that she would then make choices, not do the things that she wanted to do.
00:13:27.113 --> 00:13:29.943
But then here I am saying to her I'm like she's like.
00:13:29.943 --> 00:13:32.841
I'm like she's like, oh, I'm not gonna go to extra help this morning.
00:13:32.841 --> 00:13:34.386
Well, why not?
00:13:34.386 --> 00:13:36.153
Oh, I'm just like tired and stuff like that.
00:13:36.153 --> 00:13:45.913
I'm like, well, you're not gonna get into phillips, if, if, if, you choose to do that, but meanwhile, the choices that we're making aren't putting us closer to our goals.
00:13:45.975 --> 00:13:46.174
Right.
00:13:46.174 --> 00:13:53.347
And then that's when I it hit me and I'm like Do your fucking hippo?
00:13:53.347 --> 00:13:53.769
Like?
00:13:53.769 --> 00:13:58.846
I'm like like what are you even saying right now to this kid?
00:13:58.846 --> 00:14:02.062
Like, who are you to say anything right now?
00:14:02.062 --> 00:14:05.759
Like it's like you're not leading by example, and then that's when it hit me.
00:14:05.759 --> 00:14:18.202
That's when it hit me, then I'm like man, like she was rocking it because she was saying this and like these are conversations I have with John, like and how he is and like and how his kids are with him.
00:14:18.202 --> 00:14:23.746
And then they're like and how his kids are with him, and and and, and then they're like oh yeah, like stuff like that.
00:14:23.767 --> 00:14:25.414
And like I'm like, yeah, like that makes complete sense.
00:14:25.414 --> 00:14:29.639
Like you're leading by example, like, and you know, and his kids are crushing it.
00:14:29.639 --> 00:14:35.480
In that sense, it's like Callie and Sean, like they, they kill it and everything that they're doing too.
00:14:35.480 --> 00:14:40.778
And it's just like, and it's awesome, it's awesome, it's awesome to see.
00:14:40.778 --> 00:14:41.239
And I'm just like man.
00:14:41.239 --> 00:14:50.625
I'm like I am, I'm hurting my kids and not even thinking that I don't only think I'm hurting myself, right, like I don't even think that they're noticing.
00:14:50.625 --> 00:15:01.719
Yeah, right, that they're noticing, but then, like you, like we don't understand, like the ripple effect that it happens from that and they might not even be consciously noticing, but subconsciously they are right, and then that's what I'm saying.
00:15:01.739 --> 00:15:06.096
So it's like for me as as my job as a parent is to notice that and notice it.
00:15:06.096 --> 00:15:07.418
Well, where is that coming from?
00:15:07.418 --> 00:15:11.024
And then like, well, shit, it's me.
00:15:11.024 --> 00:15:18.957
I'm doing yeah, I'm not showing them any different right, like I'm showing them, like this is the way how you handle when things get rough, isn't that?
00:15:18.998 --> 00:15:21.623
crazy too, because so many people parent like that.
00:15:21.623 --> 00:15:25.879
Like all your rooms a mess, like you, your, your room's a disaster.
00:15:25.879 --> 00:15:27.201
Like how can you live like that?
00:15:27.201 --> 00:15:29.746
Meanwhile, yeah, there's.
00:15:29.746 --> 00:15:36.288
Meanwhile they're a slob, yeah, right, it's like how can, how can you expect your kids to do something that you are not?
00:15:36.796 --> 00:15:46.043
doing, doing yourself right they're just human too right, and so it's just like and I think that that's something that you know.
00:15:46.043 --> 00:15:47.886
In that being sense, like now it's.
00:15:47.886 --> 00:15:49.697
It's cause for me to like.
00:15:49.697 --> 00:16:04.902
I want to understand, because the problem is that this is like my cycle, like right, like this is like my ebbs and flows, in the sense of that, like exactly you and I will become cognizant of it, we're fucking done.
00:16:04.902 --> 00:16:11.423
Oh, yeah, yeah, we'll do it and we're doing it, and then all of a sudden, backslide, then we get another freaking burst away.
00:16:11.423 --> 00:16:16.245
Okay, yeah, we're going backslide, and then it's just like it's the same thing and like it's just constant thing.
00:16:16.245 --> 00:16:22.735
So I'm like, this time around, I'm like, no, no, no, the same problem keeps on happening.
00:16:22.735 --> 00:16:24.620
Why is it happening.
00:16:24.759 --> 00:16:25.461
Why is this?
00:16:25.461 --> 00:16:26.924
Why is this a problem?
00:16:26.924 --> 00:16:28.816
Why am I still allowing this to happen?
00:16:28.816 --> 00:16:36.703
So this is the first time that I actually stopped to take a proactive approach in the sense of like okay, you know what I need to address, why I do this.
00:16:36.703 --> 00:16:39.394
Like, why is it that I feel this and I'm so?
00:16:39.394 --> 00:16:53.706
Therefore, it's it's led me to start deep diving into the theory behind it, like in the thoughts behind it, in the process of like you know what I'm making these decisions based on.
00:16:53.706 --> 00:16:58.243
You know my past, or seeing this is well understanding that it's instant gratification.
00:16:58.243 --> 00:16:59.567
Right, that's that.
00:16:59.626 --> 00:17:17.121
That was a big thing for me number one for me is instant gratification, right, because I'm very much like an all-or-nothing person, so like, instead of just implementing small habits that are easy to maintain even when things are rocky in our life.
00:17:17.121 --> 00:17:34.137
You know, I'm either running six miles a day, every day for you know six months, or I'm like, yeah, sit on my ass, yeah, yeah you know, and that's, and that's kind of like one of those things.
00:17:34.157 --> 00:17:41.567
It's like like you and I talked about it, like when we really we got so mad at each like got mad, got mad at ourselves, we're just like what the fuck?
00:17:41.567 --> 00:17:55.568
Like we were doing so well and it's because we want to do better for ourselves and that we're just kind of like you know, it's going to be hard regardless.
00:17:55.568 --> 00:18:03.777
Yeah, it's going to be hard regardless, and that was like like what we realized.
00:18:03.777 --> 00:18:05.721
I'm like we didn't make this any easier for ourselves.
00:18:05.721 --> 00:18:06.623
We made it harder.
00:18:06.623 --> 00:18:13.605
Yeah, like like literally it's like lumping off both of our feet, like it's like we made it so much harder for ourselves.
00:18:14.488 --> 00:18:30.381
And, underneath the guise of like, of like this little feeling for, like you said, that dopamine hit and like I said, it's like in conversations I have with John and like he would say he's like Kyle, he's like me.
00:18:30.381 --> 00:18:44.919
I go seven days a week because I know if I just take one day off, one's gonna lead to two, two's gonna lead to three, two's going to lead to three, three's going to lead to five, and then he's like I'm back in the same place.
00:18:45.078 --> 00:18:47.318
If, the next thing you know, you never go to the gym again, that's me.
00:18:48.578 --> 00:18:49.773
And that's just kind of like how it is.
00:18:49.773 --> 00:18:56.988
It's like we give ourselves these excuses right, and that's what they are.
00:18:56.988 --> 00:18:57.750
It's excuses.
00:18:57.750 --> 00:19:02.276
It's nothing else.
00:19:02.276 --> 00:19:02.376
It's.
00:19:02.376 --> 00:19:03.259
It's an excuse we're giving to ourselves.
00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:15.201
Yeah, we keep breaking promises to ourselves too, that we would never break to anybody else right and like we will let ourselves down before we will let anybody else down, and but it's like the worst way to think.
00:19:15.201 --> 00:19:15.883
It's the worst way.
00:19:15.883 --> 00:19:21.682
It's the worst way to think because it's just like what good are we to those other people if we're not at our best?
00:19:21.682 --> 00:19:26.823
We can only, we would only benefit everybody else that's in our life by us being at our best.
00:19:26.823 --> 00:19:29.855
That's the great thing about it and that's the thing is it's like.
00:19:29.855 --> 00:19:35.758
That's like the mindset that we have to kind of like develop and obviously in being human, right, we're gonna make these mistakes.
00:19:35.758 --> 00:20:06.445
Obviously in being human, it's like, but also, I think, a lot of it's the fact of like us addressing all these past issues and these past traumas and these in us deep diving for a deeper understanding, right, that we're able to kind of like, I think, finally remedy this like, so like, for instance, like for me, what one thing that's been helping me out tremendously and I never thought it would, and this is something I want to share with you I haven't shared it with you yet is reading.
00:20:06.445 --> 00:20:09.419
So I started reading more before.
00:20:09.419 --> 00:20:11.162
I used to give myself a goal of like you know what?
00:20:11.162 --> 00:20:13.827
I'm going to read 15 pages.
00:20:13.827 --> 00:20:18.856
I'm going to read 15 minutes Now.
00:20:18.856 --> 00:20:24.221
I read, to read and let me tell you something.
00:20:25.635 --> 00:20:28.464
I read this book that I'm reading right now.
00:20:28.464 --> 00:20:37.046
It's been helping me out tremendously as well, which is Hidden Potential, the Art of Achieving, the Science of Achieving Greater Things, great book.
00:20:37.046 --> 00:20:51.256
But in that book I remember I told you like when I was a kid I used to love to and I had that imagination that like, as I'm reading this, this book, um, the book is coming to life in my head.
00:20:51.256 --> 00:20:56.784
I have not had that passion since I was a little kid.
00:20:56.784 --> 00:21:06.153
The other day, as I'm reading this book, it came back and I can't tell you how happy it made me.
00:21:07.306 --> 00:21:19.833
As I'm reading this book, it's like the movie is playing in my head, like that imagination is starting to wake up and I felt great and I started realizing I'm like, wow, mike.
00:21:19.833 --> 00:21:25.210
So like John would always tell me he's like bro, he's like, wake up, I get my workout in.
00:21:25.210 --> 00:21:27.311
Start the day with a W, yeah.
00:21:27.311 --> 00:21:34.590
And I always hear his voice Like, because, like, while he's out there he's doing his workout, he shares his treadmill pic.
00:21:34.590 --> 00:21:44.352
And start the day with a W, like, I'll share my book pic, yeah, like that's my W Right now, that's my W, like I'm going to be here with him, like that's.
00:21:44.352 --> 00:21:51.038
I know that's my goal Because, like also in doing that, I'll meditate for like 15 minutes.
00:21:51.637 --> 00:21:53.940
Yeah, because you're building that.
00:21:53.940 --> 00:21:55.981
You're building that habit.
00:21:55.981 --> 00:22:06.529
Correct, because I just read a book recently and obviously anyone who knows me knows that I'm a voracious reader but a non-fiction book that I read.
00:22:06.529 --> 00:22:17.919
It's called Atomic Habit and it's basically about how implementing these little tiny behaviors every day can change your life, and it's basically like a building block.
00:22:17.919 --> 00:22:27.692
The example that he uses is he hated to floss, but he, like really needed to start and so he started by flossing one tooth.
00:22:27.692 --> 00:22:32.568
Literally, he would floss one tooth and when he was done, he would cheer for himself.
00:22:32.568 --> 00:22:35.655
Like he would say, like oh my god, you did such a good job, you.
00:22:35.655 --> 00:22:42.917
You flossed that one tooth even though you didn't want to, and the next thing you knew he was flossing every tooth.
00:22:42.917 --> 00:22:43.746
Like you know what I mean.
00:22:43.746 --> 00:22:45.409
Eventually, right.
00:22:45.409 --> 00:22:55.222
So, like, obviously your goal is to like get where John is, like fitness wise, right, but like you're building you're you're stacking habits, right.
00:22:55.222 --> 00:22:59.290
Like you're building those smaller habits to be able to get to that point, right.
00:22:59.571 --> 00:23:05.009
Right, and so like and like the way, how, like my book that I'm reading, it's called scaffolding.
00:23:05.009 --> 00:23:15.174
So it's a book, yeah, today's next chapter follower.
00:23:15.174 --> 00:23:18.900
But you know, like the friends, like in my book, it's like building scaffold.
00:23:18.900 --> 00:23:26.791
But also the way in how scaffolding is building, is that not so much as you yourself it's also scaffolding?
00:23:26.791 --> 00:23:51.366
Could be people so like for me, john's a scaffold, like he, he's somebody that he supports me in, in, in, in those times, and so, like you know, like I tell him like, almost like, like, whenever him and I talk, like how much I appreciate him because I get he helps me out immensely, mentality, wise, um, but in building that scaffolding, right.
00:23:51.366 --> 00:23:52.849
So it's like in how it's.
00:23:52.849 --> 00:23:55.615
Now it's translating to me.
00:23:57.538 --> 00:24:05.159
I've noticed that if I start my day with reading the book, I I'll read probably about 30 pages, 30 to 45 pages.
00:24:05.159 --> 00:24:09.067
Now, 30 to 45 pages, yeah, like that was.
00:24:09.067 --> 00:24:10.171
Now.
00:24:10.171 --> 00:24:14.833
I'm like cruising through books, yeah, and for me that was unheard of.
00:24:14.833 --> 00:24:16.530
I just couldn't do it.
00:24:16.530 --> 00:24:24.301
My attention span never lasted for that being, never lasted for that.
00:24:24.301 --> 00:24:41.363
And now I notice that the days that I would read, then I'll go into the car rather than listen to music or whatever or sit in silence, I'll put on another book, put on an audio book, I'll finish my other books and I'll go wow, like I'm taking in information, right.
00:24:41.767 --> 00:24:45.744
But then I realized that in doing that it's helped me out with feeling more confident in speaking.
00:24:45.744 --> 00:24:49.473
It's I definitely feel that I can articulate things a lot better.
00:24:49.473 --> 00:24:54.252
I'm not I don't feel myself the need to find words or where I'm stuttering or I'm doing this.
00:24:54.252 --> 00:25:01.847
Doing that, overall it's like much better mental clarity, yeah, and I'm able to have conversations with people in a much different way.
00:25:01.847 --> 00:25:04.565
So I'm like I'm developing something that I with people in a much different way.
00:25:04.565 --> 00:25:15.256
So I'm developing something that I know that when I do my meditations, the guy that I see, there's a guy when I do my meditation, that I see who I am, what I'm going to become.
00:25:16.046 --> 00:25:33.499
I see that person and that person's fit in that suit, addressing crowd and it's telling a story or leading my guys.
00:25:33.499 --> 00:25:35.692
But we're doing something big.
00:25:35.692 --> 00:25:39.291
It's nothing little, we're doing something big.
00:25:39.291 --> 00:25:43.787
That's when I see myself and I just realized so.
00:25:43.787 --> 00:25:55.615
Therefore, all these things that I'm implementing right now with and I never thought in a million years reading and it kind of goes back to a previous chapter.
00:25:55.615 --> 00:25:58.269
We talked about it before on the podcast.
00:25:58.269 --> 00:26:17.785
Like the book that the story gives about um was steve martin, right, yeah, and how he hated writing, yeah, and just had to swallow the frog like I hated, hated reading because I just, I don't know, I just I just couldn't do it and I just, like you know, I just need to do it.
00:26:17.785 --> 00:26:21.452
And just like how john told me, it's a non-negotiable.
00:26:21.452 --> 00:26:25.248
Non-negotiable, like like you're, you need to.
00:26:25.248 --> 00:26:28.394
Just like there's no way for you to bust about it.
00:26:28.414 --> 00:26:39.614
Like you wake up, you go to work, you don't have you don't have a choice, just like I get up and take care of the kids every day, regardless of regardless of how I feel it's a non-negotiable yeah.
00:26:41.155 --> 00:26:43.200
And that's the thing of like.
00:26:43.200 --> 00:26:48.008
I gotta basically tell myself I have no option.
00:26:48.008 --> 00:26:54.179
I have no option if I do not start my day like this, like this.
00:26:54.179 --> 00:27:00.467
It's not a matter of like, an if, because at that point I'm still doing myself, you're giving yourself an out, an out.
00:27:00.467 --> 00:27:06.172
Yeah, it's, I'm starting my day this way, and so, because what was ended up happening?
00:27:06.172 --> 00:27:14.917
Like before, like when we first met, I had no problem waking up at four right after the backslide six yeah, I couldn't.
00:27:15.220 --> 00:27:18.092
I could not jag my ass out of bed right.
00:27:18.172 --> 00:27:46.275
And then it's like the whole thing that like you're waking up and you're describing your phone and you're scrolling, and I've done like I've read so much about this that because scrolling provides you with those dopamine hits that if, for the first hour of the day, first thing you do is you're picking up your phone and you're scrolling, all day you're picking up your phone and you're scrolling all day, your body is in search of that dopamine.
00:27:46.275 --> 00:27:56.570
So it doesn't mean you're picking up your phone all day but maybe you're grabbing something shit to eat because you're looking for that dopamine rush or you're you know what I mean like you're doing something that you know you are.
00:27:56.731 --> 00:28:09.067
That's not good for you, because your body is literally like wanting that dopamine rush yeah, that ends the gratification yeah, so when I was doing 75 hard the first hour of my day I wouldn't even look at my phone.
00:28:09.067 --> 00:28:11.992
Remember I was keeping my phone outside of our bedroom.
00:28:11.992 --> 00:28:17.054
I would set the alarm and so that way I had to get up and I would go get it.
00:28:17.054 --> 00:28:22.594
I kept my phone on just in case any of the kids like needed me or in case of emergency or whatever.
00:28:22.594 --> 00:28:27.477
It was out of the bedroom and for the entire first hour of the day I wouldn't even look at it.
00:28:27.477 --> 00:28:33.988
And you know what's crazy Throughout the day I wouldn't even care about my phone, like I wouldn't know where it was.
00:28:33.988 --> 00:28:40.756
I was reading on my Kindle, so I didn't need it for reading, even like at a red light or something.
00:28:40.756 --> 00:28:52.454
When normally I would pick it up and like scroll through Instagram, I didn't even care to, and it's because I wasn't getting that hit first thing in the day, you know yeah, yeah, no, no, no.
00:28:52.494 --> 00:29:00.097
I did it like when you told me that that was something that I'm like I needed to really work on because, like, for me it's like I'll pick up.
00:29:00.097 --> 00:29:12.548
I do because, like, obviously it's like, like my phone going to sleep mode, I'll get late night texts or I'll get texts from the guys, and so therefore, like, especially if the guys have a nearly start, I'm like all right, like hey, this door is not open.
00:29:12.548 --> 00:29:13.513
This is that the other thing.
00:29:13.513 --> 00:29:15.305
So, like I'm addressing issues or something like that.
00:29:15.404 --> 00:29:21.832
But it was only a problem if I was waking up at 6.
00:29:21.832 --> 00:29:26.017
Exactly, if I went back to waking up at 4.
00:29:26.017 --> 00:29:29.119
You don't need your phone for the first hour, I don't need my phone for those hours.
00:29:29.119 --> 00:29:36.827
So that's when I realized I'm like Jesus Christ, everything's an excuse, everything's an excuse.
00:29:36.827 --> 00:29:38.875
It's an excuse because that's exactly what I'm saying.
00:29:38.875 --> 00:29:44.537
If I went back to starting my day at four, no one's sending me texts.
00:29:44.537 --> 00:29:51.594
Or if I'm getting an email, it's a freaking, it's a shitty email, like it's at the infomercial, even in the middle of the night.
00:00:03.004 --> 00:00:04.488
00:00:04.488 --> 00:00:10.086
00:00:10.569 --> 00:00:14.242
00:00:14.242 --> 00:00:39.826
00:00:39.826 --> 00:00:58.093
00:00:58.914 --> 00:01:06.427
00:01:06.427 --> 00:01:10.965
00:01:14.442 --> 00:01:19.841
00:01:19.841 --> 00:01:44.298
00:01:47.040 --> 00:01:47.441
00:01:47.441 --> 00:02:38.199
00:02:38.199 --> 00:02:40.806
00:02:40.806 --> 00:02:46.804
00:02:47.064 --> 00:03:17.662
00:03:17.762 --> 00:03:52.816
00:03:55.599 --> 00:04:13.086
00:04:13.086 --> 00:04:35.581
00:04:35.581 --> 00:04:49.398
00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:51.644
00:04:51.644 --> 00:05:15.372
00:05:15.680 --> 00:05:18.437
00:05:19.120 --> 00:05:30.826
00:05:30.826 --> 00:05:37.365
00:05:37.365 --> 00:06:03.766
00:06:03.766 --> 00:06:13.033
00:06:13.072 --> 00:06:37.187
00:06:37.187 --> 00:06:42.942
00:06:42.942 --> 00:06:44.944
00:06:44.944 --> 00:06:54.656
00:06:54.656 --> 00:06:55.983
00:06:55.983 --> 00:06:59.732
00:06:59.732 --> 00:07:05.771
00:07:06.961 --> 00:07:32.339
00:07:32.339 --> 00:07:49.908
00:07:49.908 --> 00:07:52.194
00:07:52.194 --> 00:07:54.084
00:07:54.084 --> 00:08:03.800
00:08:03.821 --> 00:08:06.026
00:08:06.026 --> 00:08:11.524
00:08:11.524 --> 00:08:16.283
00:08:16.302 --> 00:08:23.612
00:08:23.612 --> 00:08:31.009
00:08:32.011 --> 00:08:32.192
00:08:33.041 --> 00:08:34.004
00:08:34.004 --> 00:08:41.046
00:08:41.046 --> 00:08:53.504
00:08:53.504 --> 00:08:59.645
00:08:59.645 --> 00:09:11.070
00:09:11.471 --> 00:09:15.066
00:09:15.066 --> 00:09:21.922
00:09:21.922 --> 00:09:32.070
00:09:32.070 --> 00:09:38.736
00:09:38.736 --> 00:09:52.532
00:09:52.591 --> 00:10:09.054
00:10:09.154 --> 00:10:09.335
00:10:09.801 --> 00:10:15.309
00:10:15.309 --> 00:10:22.774
00:10:29.059 --> 00:10:30.465
00:10:30.465 --> 00:10:30.946
00:10:30.946 --> 00:10:31.970
00:10:31.970 --> 00:10:36.245
00:10:36.245 --> 00:10:42.125
00:10:42.125 --> 00:10:47.991
00:10:47.991 --> 00:10:52.628
00:10:52.628 --> 00:10:56.489
00:10:58.783 --> 00:11:35.163
00:11:35.163 --> 00:11:47.894
00:11:48.902 --> 00:12:02.604
00:12:02.604 --> 00:12:10.366
00:12:10.366 --> 00:12:15.172
00:12:15.172 --> 00:12:27.065
00:12:27.065 --> 00:12:41.647
00:12:41.647 --> 00:12:50.347
00:12:50.347 --> 00:12:51.631
00:12:51.851 --> 00:12:52.033
00:12:54.279 --> 00:12:58.010
00:12:58.010 --> 00:13:00.668
00:13:00.668 --> 00:13:04.788
00:13:04.788 --> 00:13:07.506
00:13:07.506 --> 00:13:09.186
00:13:09.186 --> 00:13:09.727
00:13:09.727 --> 00:13:27.113
00:13:27.113 --> 00:13:29.943
00:13:29.943 --> 00:13:32.841
00:13:32.841 --> 00:13:34.386
00:13:34.386 --> 00:13:36.153
00:13:36.153 --> 00:13:45.913
00:13:45.975 --> 00:13:46.174
00:13:46.174 --> 00:13:53.347
00:13:53.347 --> 00:13:53.769
00:13:53.769 --> 00:13:58.846
00:13:58.846 --> 00:14:02.062
00:14:02.062 --> 00:14:05.759
00:14:05.759 --> 00:14:18.202
00:14:18.202 --> 00:14:23.746
00:14:23.767 --> 00:14:25.414
00:14:25.414 --> 00:14:29.639
00:14:29.639 --> 00:14:35.480
00:14:35.480 --> 00:14:40.778
00:14:40.778 --> 00:14:41.239
00:14:41.239 --> 00:14:50.625
00:14:50.625 --> 00:15:01.719
00:15:01.739 --> 00:15:06.096
00:15:06.096 --> 00:15:07.418
00:15:07.418 --> 00:15:11.024
00:15:11.024 --> 00:15:18.957
00:15:18.998 --> 00:15:21.623
00:15:21.623 --> 00:15:25.879
00:15:25.879 --> 00:15:27.201
00:15:27.201 --> 00:15:29.746
00:15:29.746 --> 00:15:36.288
00:15:36.796 --> 00:15:46.043
00:15:46.043 --> 00:15:47.886
00:15:47.886 --> 00:15:49.697
00:15:49.697 --> 00:16:04.902
00:16:04.902 --> 00:16:11.423
00:16:11.423 --> 00:16:16.245
00:16:16.245 --> 00:16:22.735
00:16:22.735 --> 00:16:24.620
00:16:24.759 --> 00:16:25.461
00:16:25.461 --> 00:16:26.924
00:16:26.924 --> 00:16:28.816
00:16:28.816 --> 00:16:36.703
00:16:36.703 --> 00:16:39.394
00:16:39.394 --> 00:16:53.706
00:16:53.706 --> 00:16:58.243
00:16:58.243 --> 00:16:59.567
00:16:59.626 --> 00:17:17.121
00:17:17.121 --> 00:17:34.137
00:17:34.157 --> 00:17:41.567
00:17:41.567 --> 00:17:55.568
00:17:55.568 --> 00:18:03.777
00:18:03.777 --> 00:18:05.721
00:18:05.721 --> 00:18:06.623
00:18:06.623 --> 00:18:13.605
00:18:14.488 --> 00:18:30.381
00:18:30.381 --> 00:18:44.919
00:18:45.078 --> 00:18:47.318
00:18:48.578 --> 00:18:49.773
00:18:49.773 --> 00:18:56.988
00:18:56.988 --> 00:18:57.750
00:18:57.750 --> 00:19:02.276
00:19:02.276 --> 00:19:02.376
00:19:02.376 --> 00:19:03.259
00:19:03.279 --> 00:19:15.201
00:19:15.201 --> 00:19:15.883
00:19:15.883 --> 00:19:21.682
00:19:21.682 --> 00:19:26.823
00:19:26.823 --> 00:19:29.855
00:19:29.855 --> 00:19:35.758
00:19:35.758 --> 00:20:06.445
00:20:06.445 --> 00:20:09.419
00:20:09.419 --> 00:20:11.162
00:20:11.162 --> 00:20:13.827
00:20:13.827 --> 00:20:18.856
00:20:18.856 --> 00:20:24.221
00:20:25.635 --> 00:20:28.464
00:20:28.464 --> 00:20:37.046
00:20:37.046 --> 00:20:51.256
00:20:51.256 --> 00:20:56.784
00:20:56.784 --> 00:21:06.153
00:21:07.306 --> 00:21:19.833
00:21:19.833 --> 00:21:25.210
00:21:25.210 --> 00:21:27.311
00:21:27.311 --> 00:21:34.590
00:21:34.590 --> 00:21:44.352
00:21:44.352 --> 00:21:51.038
00:21:51.637 --> 00:21:53.940
00:21:53.940 --> 00:21:55.981
00:21:55.981 --> 00:22:06.529
00:22:06.529 --> 00:22:17.919
00:22:17.919 --> 00:22:27.692
00:22:27.692 --> 00:22:32.568
00:22:32.568 --> 00:22:35.655
00:22:35.655 --> 00:22:42.917
00:22:42.917 --> 00:22:43.746
00:22:43.746 --> 00:22:45.409
00:22:45.409 --> 00:22:55.222
00:22:55.222 --> 00:22:59.290
00:22:59.571 --> 00:23:05.009
00:23:05.009 --> 00:23:15.174
00:23:15.174 --> 00:23:18.900
00:23:18.900 --> 00:23:26.791
00:23:26.791 --> 00:23:51.366
00:23:51.366 --> 00:23:52.849
00:23:52.849 --> 00:23:55.615
00:23:57.538 --> 00:24:05.159
00:24:05.159 --> 00:24:09.067
00:24:09.067 --> 00:24:10.171
00:24:10.171 --> 00:24:14.833
00:24:14.833 --> 00:24:16.530
00:24:16.530 --> 00:24:24.301
00:24:24.301 --> 00:24:41.363
00:24:41.767 --> 00:24:45.744
00:24:45.744 --> 00:24:49.473
00:24:49.473 --> 00:24:54.252
00:24:54.252 --> 00:25:01.847
00:25:01.847 --> 00:25:04.565
00:25:04.565 --> 00:25:15.256
00:25:16.046 --> 00:25:33.499
00:25:33.499 --> 00:25:35.692
00:25:35.692 --> 00:25:39.291
00:25:39.291 --> 00:25:43.787
00:25:43.787 --> 00:25:55.615
00:25:55.615 --> 00:25:58.269
00:25:58.269 --> 00:26:17.785
00:26:17.785 --> 00:26:21.452
00:26:21.452 --> 00:26:25.248
00:26:25.248 --> 00:26:28.394
00:26:28.414 --> 00:26:39.614
00:26:41.155 --> 00:26:43.200
00:26:43.200 --> 00:26:48.008
00:26:48.008 --> 00:26:54.179
00:26:54.179 --> 00:27:00.467
00:27:00.467 --> 00:27:06.172
00:27:06.172 --> 00:27:14.917
00:27:15.220 --> 00:27:18.092
00:27:18.172 --> 00:27:46.275
00:27:46.275 --> 00:27:56.570
00:27:56.731 --> 00:28:09.067
00:28:09.067 --> 00:28:11.992
00:28:11.992 --> 00:28:17.054
00:28:17.054 --> 00:28:22.594
00:28:22.594 --> 00:28:27.477
00:28:27.477 --> 00:28:33.988
00:28:33.988 --> 00:28:40.756
00:28:40.756 --> 00:28:52.454
00:28:52.494 --> 00:29:00.097
00:29:00.097 --> 00:29:12.548
00:29:12.548 --> 00:29:13.513
00:29:13.513 --> 00:29:15.305
00:29:15.404 --> 00:29:21.832
00:29:21.832 --> 00:29:26.017
00:29:26.017 --> 00:29:29.119
00:29:29.119 --> 00:29:36.827
00:29:36.827 --> 00:29:38.875
00:29:38.875 --> 00:29:44.537
00:29:44.537 --> 00:29:51.594