part 2: Life's Unpredictable Journey Through Marriage and Self-Discovery
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Have you ever braced yourself for a heated conversation, only to be left standing in the silence of an unexpected concession? This is the heart of our latest episode, where we peel back the layers of marriage, revealing how even a simple act of agreement can leave a partner with a tangled web of emotions. Together, we open up about navigating these complex moments, delving into the intricacies of conflict resolution and the power of understanding, especially when our anniversary doesn't go as planned. We don't shy away from the heavy stuff, confronting the traits inherited from our parents that haunt the corridors of our relationship.
This candid conversation takes a turn into the raw territory of self-improvement, where owning up to manipulative behaviors and past mistakes is just the beginning of transformation. I lay bare my struggles with substance abuse, the steps taken towards sobriety, and the lifestyle shifts necessary for us to thrive as a family. We tackle the societal pressures that pigeonhole us, like the pervasive 'mom wine culture', and underscore the critical need for self-care. By sharing our personal revolutions, we hope to spark a flame in others to cultivate change that resonates through generations.
Wrapping up this journey, we celebrate the unsung heroes of support systems and the undeniable truth that success is a team sport. The episode transcends the individual, acknowledging the essential roles of external supporters in our personal and professional wins. It's a testament to the collective strength that powers us through the entrepreneurial rollercoaster and the unpredictability of parenthood. Our story is a mosaic of resilience, determination, and the embrace of life's curveballs, all shared with the hope of inspiring listeners to rise above the excuses and seize the opportunities that await.
00:00 - Struggles and Growth in Marriage
07:42 - Prioritizing Marriage and Self-Improvement
20:34 - Recognizing Growth and Chasing Success
27:58 - Gratitude and Growth in Marriage
36:29 - Overcoming Excuses and Embracing Opportunities
39:40 - The Power of Teamwork and Support
I always laugh because there's like that meme on Instagram. That's like when I'm trying to fight with my man and he just immediately says you're right, I'm sorry. Like what am I supposed to do with my anger? I have all this shit cut out to say I have a bad this fight in my head.
Speaker 2:There was. There was like the I don't know if you like in the beginning, the first time, you're like yeah, you're right, you're like.
Speaker 1:I'm like, but I had a lot of shit to say so yeah, you're like um, um, I think, was that?
Speaker 2:I actually remember that, like I remember the beginning, like like when we had the conversations and like when I would basically like hold up my shit and then you were just like, well, I was ready to fight. Yeah, what am I gonna do now?
Speaker 1:I'm like where's all this anger go?
Speaker 2:And I'm like, why you just hot me. You're like, yeah, but I'm gonna be bad for a little longer. I'm like, okay, don't be bad, don't be bad, but I'm ready to talk about it.
Speaker 1:Oh, don't talk about it, but um but yeah, so that was a hard time. That was definitely a hard time in our marriage. That was also right around our anniversary, which sucked.
Speaker 2:Oh, we didn't. We actually we did not celebrate our anniversary that that year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean we sent the kids to to my sisters and like we just spent time alone in the house.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but we literally like ordered food in and it was like awful. We were like, so we were so disconnected. Yeah, we were so disconnected, but I remember, like even for me, like I, I was so, oh, was I so sad of myself. It was just, but I think a lot of it had to be. Is that A hard realization, that that I did become my dad, that I was, I was still a lot of my dad.
Speaker 1:And in realizing that, like man, like that was, that was a hard thing for me that was a really really hard thing was that yeah, because I think you had thought, like, felt like like that part of you was beat, like you beat that right right.
Speaker 2:That was exactly. That was exactly with what it was like. I thought I'm like man, I thought you were over this, I thought you were out of this life, I thought that I was free and clear and and it was scary to me because I'm like fuck, what else is there?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I remember saying that.
Speaker 2:I'm like if this is still here. What else is like in me, and then like that I'm gonna justify and then it could potentially ruin my marriage. Like and thinking about that, like the stuff that that scares the shit at me. Or like like what's what's inside of me that that's gonna make me I'm gonna make the wrong choice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm gonna make the wrong move and it's just stopping from being where I want to be and I can actually remember that, like I was so mad and so upset but then, seeing like how upset and devastated you were, I started feeling bad for you. Yeah, I was like all right, all right, I'm not that mad anymore. I know, I remember, but no, I really did I remember that I I felt for you at that point, I think right.
Speaker 2:I think at that point you knew that, that where I you saw me, yeah, you saw that it wasn't I, I just had the wrong lens. It was not that I did anything with intention, right, it was, I had this wrong lens. And I think that our lives mold our lens right, like what we've been through and like one thing that we always say a lot to each other. It's like we grew up a ton away, but worlds apart. Yep, that was, yep, how your life was versus how my life was and the stuff that we've been through and stuff like that and how it molded us and but it's, it's crazy, but like in how this is what made us so perfect for one another. Was that because your perspective in your life was everything that I needed?
Speaker 1:But then also, as yeah, but I needed a lot of your perspective too, right?
Speaker 2:For as ugly as what my life was, it was the parts that you needed to harden up and and fix things that you didn't like about your life About myself. You know, letting people take advantage of you, letting people kind of walk all over you and stuff like that, or in you know People pleasing? People pleasing Like.
Speaker 1:Still working on it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I know, and then it stopped. It stopped, but you know, I think I remember after that like I stopped drinking for a while and then like, obviously the neighbors knew in the sense of that, like he's like, oh, they're like, what the fuck you do?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Like they knew. They knew I was the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he knew I was the way, he's, like you, fucked up, didn't you?
Speaker 2:He was like you came in with your tail between your legs like and I'm just like oh, like dude, I was like I just, and then like certain people that I know because like on social media, like obviously you know, I kind of dropped off. I distanced myself from a lot of different relationships at that point because I had to. It was like one of those things and it wasn't. It wasn't because of of you or whatever it's.
Speaker 1:No, but I mean a little bit because it's some things were like triggering me when, like people were commenting or like posting shit and stuff like that. It was very triggering and I think, like at that point you kind of realized that in some sense there needed to be like total removal from oh, right, like that, cut off like a bad toenail yeah. Just A classic Charlie Fischer role, like cut them off, like a bad toenail.
Speaker 2:You'll hear a lot of those. Yeah, you know, it's one of those things where you know it just changed me so much.
Speaker 1:Like it needed to happen. It made our marriage better.
Speaker 2:No, no, big time. Because like remember, like well, what was the other trips that I had prior to that, and it kind of it started like this wasn't the first time that this happened.
Speaker 1:No, like I'm just saying, this is not the first time it happened.
Speaker 2:This was like kind of like the pinnacle, where I was like no, no, yeah, this was like there's a tipping point.
Speaker 1:I let it go when you were in Atlanta. I let it go when you were in Cleveland. Cleveland, yeah, cleveland, cleveland, so Cleveland, yeah, so, like I said, like Because Cleveland was the time that your phone was dead from 9 pm until like 5 30 in the morning when you woke up and I was pissed, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'll never forget. I don't have like six battery packs on the next trip, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:I was like you keep that motherfucking phone charged. Okay, I'm like this, I'm at 100.
Speaker 2:I'm good.
Speaker 1:But I'm like I'm home with our kids. Anything could happen Like what if an? Emergency happened with one of the kids and I couldn't get in touch with you. I was ready to call your hotel. I was like I'm giving him till six o'clock in the morning or I'm calling that hotel and I'm going to be like wake his ass up, wake his ass up.
Speaker 2:I'll never forget it was trash. You come home and I'm coming to you. It was trash, jake. I'm here to take it on the fucking track.
Speaker 1:So I was already so mad I'm pulling the barrels to the trash and I'm like then I'll never forget Colleen was leaving the house and I'm, like you, believe this motherfucker has stolen his dad, I'm pulling the trash out. I was so mad, right, but that was you know, I let it. I kind of let things go after that, or whatever. So this Austin trip was definitely like sort of like the culmination of all those previous trips.
Speaker 2:I think honestly. But I think it kind of goes right back to like under, like who I was at that point, like in not realizing yet that you know how much I was still at that manipulator, and so like, like I, like I basically in those two trips, like basically made it, made you feel that like not validating your feelings, like that's what it was. Like I didn't validate your feelings. I think it was literally I'm like you don't need to freaking, I'm like you're at a pocket and you're freaking, you're forcing it. That was my oh my God. I hate the fact that I used to say that to you all the time. I'm like you're forcing it. You're forcing it Like like you're making a big deal out of this.
Speaker 1:And you just throw that blanket. Like you know I would never cheat on you, you know I would never do that and I'm like, yeah, I do know, but like you're just it's. You're walking such a fine line at that point, you know, like you're putting yourself in a like I said prior, like you wouldn't put yourself in this position if you weren't drinking.
Speaker 2:Oh no, forget about it. Right, I did know Like. So yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 1:You know, and then, after Austin, I was just like enough is enough, you know.
Speaker 2:Right, I remember that that was like the big thing, that like even for me I'm just like you know, I like something has to change. But it was great because going forward, that really curbed my drinking, in the sense that I'm just like you know what. Now I know what's happening, like I'm cognizant of it, like I know, like what my downfalls are, and so at that point I was very they kind of always kept me in check, right. Obviously they didn't stop us from drinking because, like I mean, we used to get shit house after that and we did, like I remember, like you, know, but then, but then like what ended up kind of like, changing to the point of like where I'm like you know, I got a sub, like I'm. I think I'm done with this too, because it never added anything to my life. Was that because I'm like the kids? I'm like you know what? Like I think with the older girls, right, and I think about it like like Carly and her friends or they'd have their friends over and stuff like that. And I remember just, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm buzzed and they're like well, this is how their friends are seeing me too, like, and then like they can go back home to like their families and basically be like, or their parents would be like, oh yeah, he was fucking pickled. Like you know what I'm saying? Like I'm like I don't want that for my kids, like I don't want them to deal with that. Because then I started thinking about the distress and anxiety of like my friends when they saw like my dad banged up and then like them saying something to me, and then I'm like, like he almost ashamed, like it's like all these different feelings are coming, kind of coming through and I'm like man, I'm like I'm doing it to them, like I'm putting them exactly what I've been through and I promise myself I never do that to my kids and it's just. But you don't realize it because it's.
Speaker 1:It's like I said it's like you're validating shitty behavior Like. You're validating this behavior of like.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm having a good time with an adult like freaking, like I'm not bothering you. Like, it's like that but it's just like you're not realizing the ripple effect, Like you're not realizing that and how it handles everything that's down downstream, and it's just like yeah, and I think, like for me too, like there's such like a mom, like wine culture, like, oh, like it's five o'clock.
Speaker 1:I've been dealing with these kids all day, like I need to drink, and I don't ever want my kids to feel like they're a burden. They're causing me to drink because it's so stressful to me to be a mom. Like I don't want them to feel that way when they grow up and they become a mom, you know, and that kind of goes back into like why I started taking care of myself more too, because I'm like I don't want them to feel like this if they decide to become a mom. I don't want them to not have a life outside of their kids. I don't want them to feel like they have to drink to escape the stressors of everyday life. Like I don't want them to feel like their needs and their feelings have to go behind everybody else's. So if I don't want that for them, then why do I want that for me?
Speaker 2:That's like pilot the pilot. One of the biggest things that I admire, that I see that you work so hard on, is that like you? you literally yeah, because I know how hard it is for you, like, you're just such like this selfless person like this. I mean there's last, and then there's you. I mean like this and but I think it's like, and finally, through all of this, like, in all of this course of us getting better, that you have finally given yourself that grace of like. I'm still a good mom if I take some time for myself. I'm still a good mom, like, if, if, if I don't like jump to like. It's like all these strides that you're making and as well as having identity outside of being a mom like you being Megan, like and you feeling good about yourself and in all these different things, and exactly like you just said, like you're teaching the girls, like you know, it's like you don't have to be that frumpy, overweight, over simulated, like all these different things, like all these negative things that get associated with stay at home moms, like the wine culture. There's these, all these different things that get associated with these like burnt out. Burnt out, it's probably the best way to put it like burnt out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, mothers, yeah, and it's, it's like all you see all over Instagram, right, you know, like all the funny, funny memes. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Funny, it's funny, but it's. But your kids see that it's a sad reality, right, it's a sad reality. Well, like your husband sees that too, all the Instagram things like just fucking trash in your husband.
Speaker 1:Like I hate that, like I don't want. I don't want the girls to grow up and think like, oh, it's like a trap to be married or like, oh, like you know whatever, but you've helped me so much with that. Like, I think one of the things about us is that I think, like, being a mom is very natural to me. I think being a spouse is very natural for you. Like I think it was easier for you, in a sense, to be like we need to prioritize our marriage because, from I know, you didn't grow up seeing it either but like. I grew up like my mom and dad. It was all about us all the time, not about them at all. So I think you've really helped me see that like if we don't have a happy, healthy marriage and we don't take the time to ourselves to cultivate the marriage that we want, that like the rest of our house is not gonna be happy, right.
Speaker 2:Right and it starts with us.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right cause like, but God's honest truth. I mean I'll give all that to grandpa Like grandpa, for me was he's. That was the best advice when, when, in grandpa, when we had dinner with them.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:The best advice ever given to me in my entire life. In the beginning, it's you two. In the end it's you two. Prioritize your marriage.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because at the end of the day, the kids are gonna grow up. They don't. They're not gonna wanna be with us forever.
Speaker 2:You know, and like you're not gonna, and at that point, like while you're having kids, like everyone talks about the roommate phase, it's just like you're just coexisting in this house and I don't want that. Like it's how you say, like I don't want that for the kids, that like they feel like they just have to just live, like they just life. Like it's like they're not living life, life is living them.
Speaker 1:Like it's just, they're not alive, right, they don't feel alive.
Speaker 2:It's just that rat race, it's like that and I think that that's the reasons why, like that's kind of been like the huge motivational force for us to basically be like we need to fucking like get our shit together.
Speaker 1:We need to change.
Speaker 2:We need to think of forward, because the thing is that I'm not gonna have, we don't want that for our kids, we don't want that for ourselves, that like it's that, that we're just gonna keep on repeating this cycle, yeah, of settling for what life has, like what we think life has to offer. That's right and that's probably like the biggest thing that I learned, like since meeting you and us getting together, was that like before you, right, this is what my life is, this is what we live. Yeah, this is what we live, like these are the way how broads are. These are the way how girls are. This is the way how friendships are. This is the way on how all these things are, and it's just like, but you don't realize that it's like every girl that you meet is gonna be a girl from the same. It's like a bird, like bird of a feather, flock together Right. So it's just like you're keeping yourself in this bowl, right. Essentially, that's the way how I probably see it and put it Is that, like you know, here you are and you just keep yourself like horse blinders of. Like this is what life is, because the only life you know. And then it was like all of a sudden, like there was like do that crack in my blind? Or that way, I am like Bright as hell over there, like, and I'm like looking over there and I'm like wow, there's a whole nother world over here remember you're that.
Speaker 1:Just just remember how Charlie would be like, yeah, right, like Meg's, not really like that.
Speaker 2:Remember oh yeah, he would be like she's just trying to get. She's just trying to get you, she's just trying to play the way, how, how rick says it, it's uh auditioning, the interviewing phase, it's like yeah, it's all good now she's interviewing. It's gonna stop after she gets a job.
Speaker 1:But I remember that's what charlie was like didn't even believe, like because if I would like make you guys food or like help you out with something, with like Just the intention of helping you out, not for anything else, that he would be like yeah right, she's just gonna turn into like in every other girl that you've ever been with right, and then that's just remember that, that it's Because it's just all we ever see.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like, this is what life is like, and you settle and that's all everyone does.
Speaker 1:It's so true because, even from my like, obviously we grew up very differently and I didn't see a lot of the things that you saw. But you know, everyone in my family got married super young or like to their first boyfriend or whatever. It was that generation that, like you, got married in your early 20s or whatever, and obviously I'm not gonna dog anyone's marriage or anything like that, but I think there was so much of like the well, that's just how life is like yeah, I mean, you got married young too, I mean yeah, it was 21. Yeah, I was 21 when I got married the first time.
Speaker 2:You know I had a lot of fail. I had failed engagements.
Speaker 1:I'm the first wife, baby. I was the first wife, baby, personally baby, that's right, um, but uh but yeah, I got married at at 21 and I think, from the examples that I had, I was just like, yeah, whatever, like this is just how life is. And honestly, I think if one of my aunts hadn't got divorced you know, I don't know that I would have ever like Left, you know, because I think that was just the example that I saw like, oh, just stick it out, it's not that bad, right, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Like well, like, exactly like and like, so like, how it was like for me, was that, for me, love was measured by how much you're willing to go through and still be there. Yeah, that was like the most Fucked up part about it for me was that, like, love was measured by how much shit can I put you through and you'll still leave me. Yeah, and then if you left me and be like, and, but like, it's like. Here's that this threshold of pain? Right, it's just like. You know, it's just like. Here's this threshold, it's just like, if you go over this like you don't love me, what like? But that's how love is for a lot of us Like and I know that for like my friends and people that that I grew up with, that's the way how we saw love, that's the way how love is like. It's, and like all my friends, that they'd be going through the same Battles, the same bullshit Baby mama, drama, all that stuff and it was in like, basically like they'd cheat on each other She'd cheat on him, he'd cheat on her back. It's math. They cancel each other out. Yeah, we're back at zero. It's just what. Yeah, that's how my life was. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like oh yeah, like you did that, I don't know what I would do it too. Yeah, we're good, we love each other and it's just like man. But that's that's reality, because that's what we saw. Like it was excuses and validations for shitty behavior constantly. And I think it's like in meeting you and gaining perspective and gaining perspective of like wow, there's actually more to life. And then, obviously, as soon as, like that glimmer happened and now, like my brain was peaked right, it's just kind of like oh, wow, there's actually more to life. So let me start looking.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, now the blind is just rather being like this, this Kind of starting winding up a little bit, and then now, you know, we, we put ourselves in those positions where we're not, we're no longer filling our minds with that negativity, we're no longer filling our minds with, like, the shit that's just keeping us there. It's just like, all of a sudden, it's just like you know what, let me, let me kind of, you know, like, start putting in more into, like, start pouring in more goodness into my, into my head. Like, let me start Putting out more goodness into this world and then, like, realizing that the more goodness you put out, the more good like it comes back to you, like tenfold, like, and, and, and that's essentially, I think, that that's been like the major catalyst for us, that that that we're able to kind of like, basically, like you know what, like, like, let's change this. Like, let's, let's be different and and want more and and ensure our kids. It's just like, don't be okay with being okay. Like, like, like, understand how much it took for you to be born, I know, and how much of a gift and how much of a blessing it is for you to be born, how many things, how to go right in order for you exactly right with precision yeah, like with precision. Right for you to come out healthy, for you to have 10 fingers and 10 toes and have a nose, and eyes at sea and ears that here and and lips you can vocalize, like all these different things that need to go right, like you have mobility, like you can do whatever the hell you want to do and you think that you will put on this earth To just be average, to settle and be average.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's one of the things I think I admire the most about you was like you know, we've been married for a little over five years now and like your growth as a human from when we met and now is, oh my god, like it's. I wish everybody could see you the way that I see you and just like how, how Much you put into Everything, like into being a better Person, like to being a better husband, to being a better father, friend, business owner. I mean, when we first got married, like you were working for somebody else, didn't have your license. Oh right, yeah and Since we've been married, you've Started your own business Started in other business like got two licenses, hired employees, we sold a house, bought a brand new big, beautiful house, like Everything, like so much work that you've put in and like I think it's all come to this point where, like, we are seeing it all come to fruition. You know and I just really admire that about you like how much you've grown over the past five years Like, and how much you want to continue To grow like, never stagnant.
Speaker 2:It's it's always hard, like to hear you say it, because it's just like it's hard to give myself credit. Yeah, it's hard to give myself grace because it's just like I've always been this shitbag, one person right and and it's hard. I think that that's the hard part about being a man sometimes is that like we just always, just we have all this pressure right to To provide and create for our families and things like that and and it's just like Next job. It's just like this task done, let's what's on, what's next, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, we've gone through that, right, because there have been times that you felt really down about like not being at a certain point in the business that you want to be. And I'll say to you, like hold on, take a step back, like, yeah, think about where we were a year ago, right, right, think about where you were six months ago, just because, like you don't have this exact dollar amount in the bank that you, that you want to have. Like you created this business, you've sustained our family on one income for and like boy, we got bills like five kids. We got a mortgage. Like our groceries are out of control, our kids can eat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know sports. We have day care.
Speaker 1:We have like not day care, we have preschool you know, like, wow, like we have expenses, and you have made that happen. Since you opened our sense, you open to the business you know, like. That's that success too, just because it's not the. You know you see other people doing, you know doing this or whatever, and you know you want to already have our lake house and or whatever, or a house in Florida or whatever like. But what you've done is really successful in its own right. You know you have to give yourself credit for that, Right? I try to remind you of that. I know it's, yeah, it's tough because it's obviously.
Speaker 2:it's like the pitfalls of social media, right Like it's like everyone only posts the good and everyone only posts the successes and the wins of life, and it's just like it's not reality, right Like it's just.
Speaker 1:It's a highlight reel. It's not real. Facts, facts, best way to put it. It's a highlight reel, it's not real.
Speaker 2:It's not real and you know not everything that it took to get to that point. And then it's, you know, but, like I said, it's, it's. There was times and this is like another mind shift that I've kind of like what's allowed me to get to this point, right, is a fact of that, like constantly learning from others and then developing that mind shift, right. It's just like, rather than you know, because there was a part where, like I had, like you know, I felt salty, you know, because somebody else had their time in the sun before me, right, and like you know, and like my problem was, is that like I would basically be like I'm not looking at it as like I've I'm going into my third year of business. Excuse me, I look at it as I am 18 plus years in this trade, yeah, and I'm looking at it as I've wasted all this time already. I'm only getting older. This is harder, yeah, and it's just like that urgency of that. I'm like I need to get there now. I need to be there, I need to get there now, right, and that's like the super, super hard part about it and it's, you know, that's been like the whole big thing for me and I kind of lost my train of thought.
Speaker 1:I think, just like something that you've really tried to do lately is like be grateful for what you do have like gratitude, right. That's why that's why you're the best I know.
Speaker 2:That's why I need you. I'm like. I'm like, I'm like here it is, um, but it's exactly that Like it's it's I remember you and I were talking about that conversation too. It's just like, like in how it pertains to you, right, it's just like you giving yourself more grace, Like I remember I used to come home and used to be like oh, I'm sorry, the house is a mess. I'm like, why are you sorry? I'm like I know how crazy your day is. Like I know that, like with these kids, it's like you can clean a room and it's a freaking tornado, tornado, and like it's, like, it's like, it's like it's a brush your teeth with pudding Like it's just it's just not going to happen and and, and. It's one of those things I say to you. I'm like babe, I'm like it's okay, like I think it mattered more to you than it than it did to me about it, cause I understand, like, where your day is at.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure, do you know? What I'm saying and then like we can do a whole episode on how I grew up and why I, why I feel that way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, and then it's just kind of you know those same exact reasons, like it's. It's just so much you know sometimes and and um, we don't give you, give, give ourselves a grace yet so true, right Cause we both give each other so much grace.
Speaker 1:I think, like you're definitely better about giving grace than I am. I think but, I do think we give each other like a lot of space and grace to like have the feelings that we do have about our respective jobs right, like me being a mom, the house, et cetera. Like you owning the business. Like we could do with giving ourselves more grace about the same things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I think. I think that that's definitely like the hardest parts about it and stuff like that and and obviously, like I said, it's it's like that shift right. So it's being grateful for those opportunities that we have in that, like one thing that I can honestly say like my whole entire life, that I feel like I was. I knew I was always destined for something like right, Like it was, I remember. That way I'm picking up where we left off. Yeah, I remember Like we were born with a dream. I'm a friend believing this. We're all born with a dream. We're all born with that dream that whatever it is that you believe in, whether it's God or the universal, whatever but something greater than you that puts into your heart and your soul and everything. I remember when I was a kid, you know, I would always say to my brother I'm like man, I'm like, yeah, you won't be able to drive down the street without seeing my name 10 times Like. And I would see it as like whether it'd be storefronts and be this and that, and you know just these things of like.
Speaker 1:I didn't know what the hell it was.
Speaker 2:I'm just like do you going to see my name everywhere? Yeah, you can see our name everywhere and then life tries to snuff it out. You know, like you, just you go through life and you have these trials and these tribulations and everything you go through and all of a sudden, like that, that dream just starts to go away and then life takes over and then it's just kind of like it's just gone Right and then. But I was always that person where I don't consider myself ever having a failure. It's always a lesson learned. Yeah, I will take the good out of everything. I remember I went to a salvo Lord with my mom, and where my mom was from it's very poor. Yeah, and I remember that, like you know, here I am. You know, I'm a US citizen. I'm used to running water, I'm used to freaking coming. Yeah, I'm used to all this shit, and it's just like here I am and like I'm in, like this bubble right, like this house, and you know it's there's some electricity there but there's no running water, and I'll never forget. But I loved it. It was raw life, like it was life, and I remember being there and like you know where she was, there was. You know there was still kind of somewhat of a war that they rationed the water. Water only got turned on at night and you know everyone would have to fill up these rain barrels of water and that's what you cook, that's what you cleaned with, that's what you took a shower in, that's what you did your laundry with, that's everything was that one barrel. And then you know, wake up. And wake up in the morning it was like you hear the roosters and then you hear marching and just, and it just grew from the distance and they run, they marched right by your house and I loved it. I loved every second of it and it was because it made me appreciate what it is, what it is that I had. Yeah, cause, let me tell you something like it made me appreciate plumbing I had an electrician Like the fact that I can even say that you know what I'm saying, cause I'm just like, like you value plumbing. When you have to like load up like your own water to fill a tank so you can flush your toilet, like you're just like damn, like especially like food out there, like it's different, but and then it's just, I always kind of had that knack that I was able to to, to, to learn and appreciate the and learn from the good. I mean like learn from the bat right and learn what not to do. And that's like, like you said earlier, like in the sense of that, we're very proactive and it's how it's translated into our marriage of being proactive in our marriage. Is that because we're not going to sit there and wait for it, like we're going to learn from other people's mistakes.
Speaker 1:We're going to learn from mistakes that we make, yeah, our own mistakes, yeah, our own mistakes.
Speaker 2:And navigate away from them, right, and you know, I think that that's it brings me back to like my story, where I kind of started in saying this part right now is that one thing that I'm actively working on right now is that to allow myself that grace and and and, and allow myself that to be grateful for the stresses that I have.
Speaker 1:Mm, hmm.
Speaker 2:Be grateful for, for, like, when I feel the weight of the world or the show like my shoulders, like be grateful for that weight because I'm in a position to support that weight. I'm in a position where it's just like that weight is what pushes me forward, like that weight is what keeps me hungry, like that fear, like all those different things. It's just like I value fear because it was something that, like, even on the drive here today, you said that You're like, you know, like when we thought about when we started the business right, and then, like, when I highlight the first employee, I'm just like, damn, like, how am I gonna freaking pay this dude 15, 15 hour? And it's just like, how am I gonna do this Like how am I gonna make this and then pay my bills? like you're just like that, and then it's just like that fear, and then it's just the fear that I have to. Even now, till this day, like you know, I've only taken on more.
Speaker 1:I've never taken off.
Speaker 2:I've only added more on my plate, right, and because the thing is that you're never gonna grow, and that's what I realized. You're never gonna grow, being comfortable Cause why it's seemingly going to the gym Like it's like, yeah, you can do 10, but your muscles are gonna grow with that extra two, yeah, and it's gonna suck each fucking time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you have to do the hard things to get to the good things right and I think that and also to appreciate them, yeah.
Speaker 2:Like right, like you gotta go through the rain, appreciate a rainbow. It's definitely like those things that that I feel have been like the major catalyst and so of us getting to where we are now, of, like you know, same thing. Like now, let's talk about what we're doing right now.
Speaker 1:Right, that's what I was gonna say. I feel like all this to say, like why we're so excited about this year and like all the things that are happening and doing this podcast, after talking about it for over a year, you know, I think it was exactly.
Speaker 2:but it was also like that mind shift in both of us. Yeah, Like, like here we are, we became real about the expectations. Right, Like here we are. Thinking like we gave each other every excuse and this kind of goes back to us talking about 75 hard right? Yeah, it's like like my reasons are the reasons why I failed at it. It was an excuse. Yeah, it was an excuse.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:If I really wanted to do it, you could have done it. I would have done it, I would have done it and it was an excuse, absolutely. And the same exact deal. Like here we here, we are doing this part right now, and then thinking like, well, we got to get equipment, we got to do this, we got to do that right, and now we're doing all these different things, right. And then it's just kind of like we would have just failed and we gave each other every excuse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we gave each other excuses, every excuse to reasons why we didn't do it. Oh well, we have the kids. Oh well, the money.
Speaker 2:Oh well, we won't have time to edit it, we don't have the time, we don't have this, we don't have that. Yeah, it was an excuse, and then finally we just said, fuck, excuses.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think we really did get into that mindset towards probably like October of last year, like after I did have the health scare and stuff. I think that was kind of like because it's finally like okay, no, that's enough.
Speaker 2:But it's also I think it also plays into like the fragility of life.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like, how many opportunities are we gonna have, because you know, god forbid, something does happen.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying. Like, why wait? There's no such thing as the right time. There's no such thing as being prepared. It's like being a parent. I think that that's the way how I can probably equate starting a business. Everything you're gonna go through in life is like being a parent, right, and that's probably the best way, cause, like people or parents, they can understand this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, You're never gonna feel ready. You're never gonna feel you can read all the books.
Speaker 2:You can have a million dollars, you can have all this shit on the bank, like you can do all this, but it's Give it when that baby is placed on you and you're like holy fuck, like this is. But the.
Speaker 1:Thing is the way to the world, you know Right but you know what it is.
Speaker 2:You're always gonna have that one variable you can't control.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that's just what it is. No matter how much you do in life, you can never control everything. All you can do is control how you handle it and the way how you go forward with it yeah, and the way how you adapt to it, and then that's essentially what it is, that you know. I feel that it's contributed to a lot of where we are now. Like you know, the moves that we're making and the growth of where we started, right Of us, like breaking up, freaking all those times, like you know, us getting married after being together a year and a half, dealing with everything that has been in between of, like you know, insecurities, anxieties. You know axes and kids and the manipulations and family, and you know all the traumas that we've been through. You know, from now until, here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you guys are gonna hear it all, yeah.
Speaker 2:It's wild, but then also, like you know how we've learned from each other and all those tools that we've essentially developed with one another, that is only gonna set us up for success and how, ultimately, in the end, it's also. I can't do this without you.
Speaker 1:Right Likewise.
Speaker 2:You know, I can't, I can't do that.
Speaker 1:I couldn't do anything without you. Yeah, and that's the things that I've succeeded at has been because I know you have my back.
Speaker 2:Right, and it's the same thing Like anybody else that's in our circle, like we can't do this alone, like, even with us, there's outside people that are part of this too, that have helped us yeah, absolutely, and gets us there, and things like that, and I think, ultimately, it's just like people that understand it. It's like, you know that's probably another thing too Everyone's like oh, lone wolf, and there's all those different stuff like that. Yeah, to a certain point there is. I think that there's a point where you have to be alone to struggle, and that's just to build the character that you need in order to be a part of a team.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you need a village.
Speaker 2:You need a village, you do Absolutely. I'm a firm believer in that, that. I think that Ron is that toughness. That Ron is that toughness you definitely need, right, and it's something that you build through going through life.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right, and then you know, when you acquire all those skills, you get to that next point.