From Self-Doubt to Self-Discovery - Chloe Street is RightOffTrack

Anya Smith:
Hello everyone. Welcome back to another exciting episode of RightOffTrack podcast, where we share inspiring stories of individuals who have taken unconventional paths in their lives and careers. Today, we have a special guest who is here to guide us on a transformative journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Joining us is Chloe Street, the founder of FlowByChlo, a certified professional coach, CPC, and corporate wellness leader as well. With over five years of experience as a global certified coach, Chloe has completed more than 320 hours of coach training and holds three prestigious coaching certifications. Utilizing evidence-based coaching techniques, technology, science, and fulfillment strategies, Chloe offers personalized support to her clients, helping them achieve their goals and master their overall wellbeing. Chloe's impact extends beyond coaching though, as she also serves as a corporate wellness consultant, facilitating cultural enriching events. designed to boost employee productivity, foster better leadership, build resilient teams, and achieve lasting organizational transformation. Incorporating research-backed methodologies, including somatic healing, yoga teaching, and a meditation facilitation, Chloe empowers her clients to drive meaningful change and build sustainable results. Step into the world of introspection and personal empowerment as Chloe illuminates the dormancy within us, helping us understand that our inner world shapes everything in our outer world. Allow Chloe to inspire you and ignite the transformation within you. And follow, tune in, flowing of Chloe on this enlightened episode of Write Off Track. I'm just going to repeat that one more time. Allow Chloe to inspire you and ignite the transformation within. Tune in to flowing of Chloe on this enlightened episode of Write Off Track. Welcome Chloe.

Chloe:
Hello, hello. Thank you so much for that wonderful introduction. You probably said it way better than I could even say it myself. And I'm incredibly humbled and honored to be with you today. And can't wait to see where the conversation takes us. So thank you for having me.

Anya Smith:
I feel so, so the same. And my heart is also warmed by the fact that I have known you a little bit outside of this whole podcast setting. We were coworkers at Meta, although to be transparent, we didn't necessarily work as closely together, but I also really admired the way you always showed up to help the team and you were organizing events there and just helping all of us grow and kind of find each other in that space. So thank you for also now sharing your story on this entrepreneurial side of the journey.

Chloe:
Yeah, it's my pleasure and I'm excited to. If my expression can help others find their own expression, then that's really why I'm here and what I'm interested in. And so I hope that your listeners are really inspired and motivated by our conversation today and whatever resonates for them.

Anya Smith:
Love it. And as we talked about, you have this amazing business, but you've been forming this whole process for years now, and you've been learning and adapting. Could you share a little bit more about this journey, the behind the scenes, and why the heck did you get into this space?

Chloe:
Yeah, great question. So it's ever evolving and continuing as we speak, right? I think my journey really started back in, I would say 2017, where I was working in New York City in that grind in finance. I was an HR professional, so I spent about nine years in HR. And while that was society's version of real success and security, I felt this nagging sense of dissatisfaction within me, almost like I was living on autopilot, just caught up in the daily grind of everything. And I was really filled with a ton of ideas, but honestly, like too scared to act on any of those ideas. And until I really regularly started practicing yoga, I started to actually recognize how disconnected I was with myself. and yoga became my entryway. So I was definitely an amateur yogi. I was not at all experienced and I started post-college when I was just again living in New York and that soon became an addiction. I loved yoga, I loved exercise, I loved staying healthy and when I was really attracted to it at first was sort of for the wrong reasons, if I'm completely transparent. But when I started to go to yoga regularly, what I came to realize was that it evolved right into more of just a practice and more of just a sweaty workout. It really became this meaningful and connective practice that helped me to build and propel myself into this world of self-discovery. What I really came to understand was that how you practice yoga is really how you live your life. So what I mean by that is if you're walking around your city or your streets, your neighborhood, comparing yourself to everyone around you, you're typically in class with that same comparison mindset, thinking about yourself on the mat if you're not doing things good enough, labeling yourself, trying to keep up, all of those things that we self-sabotage with. And so after coming to that realization, I wanted to really take my practice one step further. And so what I did then was became a yoga instructor. And one thing kept leading to the next, and I found myself just truly captivated by the human experience, by really understanding what keeps us stuck, how we can go about creating a more fulfilling life and more satisfaction in our daily lives. And so in typical me fashion, I woke up one day and I just became a yoga instructor by signing up for a 200 hour teacher training here in New York City. I had never been to the studio before. I had never met the leaders of the training, but I just felt like I was in the right place at the right time. And that... whole journey and experience was definitely really uncomfortable for me. It was something completely outside of my zone of familiarity. I had never been a performer or a dancer or even a wellness facilitator. I just know that I had a passion. And after that, I realized that my whole world had completely transformed by putting myself in uncomfortable scenarios, by challenging myself to think differently, by feeling into my vulnerability. And I just kept trying on different healing modalities. I just kept noticing that I felt incredibly satiated after each experience. And then I just kept wanting more. And my curiosity was truly insatiable. So I became a life coach as well as a health coach. And then I started on the side, just really networking with friends and family to create and cultivate events that would help them also tap into their own selves. And so as a... instructor and sort of trained facilitator, coach, and then also healer. I provide immersive experiences and unique ones for my students and my clients in order to help them embrace self-discovery and build mental wealth.

Anya Smith:
So, whoa, that's quite a journey. And that's a lot of commitment to also put into this whole process. And I can even tell from your voice just how much passion you have for this area and for the subject. And could you maybe touch upon, why is it important to have that balance? Because to your point, sometimes people get into yoga or maybe they avoid yoga because it seems like such a, well, it's an exercise. Right, what am I gonna get out of it? Maybe I'm not in the best shape. It seems intimidating. I don't have an hour. to start getting into a class at gym. Like, why is yoga or maybe important? And what is like the holistic approach that helps us be more fulfilled individuals?

Chloe:
Yeah, great question. Yoga really, for me, is a practice of grounding and building self-awareness. So we typically don't even necessarily understand our bodies. Where our bodies even live in space, a lot of our life is driven by the mind. And what yoga does is it's just... Yoga asana is one component of the practice, and that would mean postures. So that's the physical practice of yoga. And through the physical practice, what you come to learn is the power of your breath, the power of your mindset, the power of showing up on your mat and noticing what's happening for you. Because again, that same narrative of anything that's happening for you on your mat is how you are leading and generating your life outside of the space that you are practicing in. If you can step into, and maybe it's not yoga for you, some people find different ways and entry points into this personal development world in many different fashions and ways. And so that's one thing that I, as a coach, always try to instill in my clients, is that my way might not be the best way, and my way might not be your way. But how can we uncover and pick apart the societal conditioning and the ingrained Patterning that we've always lived in order for you to find what's true for you. What is going to make you? Excited to get out of bed in the morning And for me at first started with connecting with my body because I felt so disconnected to my body And so why yoga can be so important and impactful? At least in my experience is because it gives you that time to be with yourself We are so distracted in how we live every day, right? always getting to the next thing, always adding to our to-do list, always thinking about what's to come or thinking about what did or didn't happen. We're either in the past or we're in the future. And yoga helps to cultivate that presence, which is really where life happens. It's in the present moment. I think there's like a quote that says, in Vegas, right, you have to be present to win. And so that's really... perfect for this moment because that's exactly what we're talking about. It's about really creating the moments where you can be where your feet are instead of being this outside world that you can't necessarily even work in, right? Because if you're living in the past or you're living in the future, you have no control over that. The only thing you have control over is the present moment. And for me, that 60 minute class helped me to recognize how important presence is. It helped me to cultivate more presence in my life and it helped me to really understand myself in different ways so that I could then use those findings and transform them if I wanted to, right, or just really get to know myself on a deeper level.

Anya Smith:
I love that, thank you so much for sharing. And I've tried yoga for it and I've started and then I didn't keep up with it, honestly. I'm not a great practitioner, but the one practice that did stick out to me, we talked about it, I think offline, was yoga of Adrian. And I liked it just because it was shorter snippets of time. Like, and where I'm going with this is that, I think that to your point, you can find what resonates with you. It doesn't have to be yoga, but if you're curious,

Chloe:
Mm-hmm.

Anya Smith:
like there's not one style of yoga, there's not even one duration, and it's not even about, you know. doing the perfect pose or being so beautiful when you do it so you post on Instagram, but rather it's that point of pause and reflection to check in with yourself and catch your breath. And when I changed that perspective around yoga, it changed everything and like my attitudes towards it. And I was looking forward to it to pause for the day. And I always felt better afterwards because it wasn't like necessarily like a workout, although sometimes it is very, very challenging,

Chloe:
Mm-hmm.

Anya Smith:
but it was really just to feel better and feel calmer. And to your point, we can't avoid ourselves. Like, wherever we go, we are there, right? We're always in our heads, so the energy we cultivate is very important. And that naturally kind of makes me think about the coaching work that you're doing, right? You're helping people overcome these challenges. Can you talk a little bit more about like, how has that space been for you? And kind of what are some common challenges and themes that you see people have that you help them with?

Chloe:
Yeah, it's interesting because I have, I support rather a wide array of clientele, people who identify as male, identify as female, people in between, and all different age regions, all different stages of life. Some are becoming mothers, some are new mothers, some are CEOs and have been at this for a really long time in their late 50s. So it really spreads wide. And what I've come to understand is that there is such a shared human experience. And at the core of the work that I do, it's about this notion of us not feeling worthy or enough and operating with this felt sense of lack. So many of us are living in a fear-based mindset. And I always say my mission is really to help others in one-on-one or group settings. transform their view of self, and rewire their operating system from one that is rooted to fear, because that is how we were all raised, and that's sort of the world that we live in, to a operating system that is rooted in love. And when I say that, people can think immediately like romantic love. And what I really mean by that is love is very complex. It can be complex

Anya Smith:
Mm-hmm.

Chloe:
and it can be challenging. And that goes for yourself as well. This idea of self-love is really about acceptance, about compassion, about empathy. And so when clients come to me, they may come to me with a issue that they're facing, such as a career transition that they're wanting to seek, or they're just not happy in where they are, but they don't know where they wanna go. It could be gaining momentum and focus on the next. step in their life. It could be about again transitioning from motherhood and it could be about running their own business and how they see their work-life balance either tipping the scale in one direction or the other. And I also see a lot of people come to me where they feel stuck. They want to navigate a transition, but they just need a roadmap or some guidance and support and how to do that. And what most people struggle with is their mindset. Really, right? It's them holding themselves back, them engineering smallness in their life in order to keep them feeling safe and secure when meanwhile, what they're engineering is the exact outcome they're trying to avoid. And so what we do is we'll work through in-depth conversations, through tools and resources to help them really draw out their personal brilliance and draw out the answers from within to help them overcome some of the barriers that they're facing. And I can give you an example of how coaching works, right? So

Anya Smith:
I love it.

Chloe:
yeah, so if we want to do a little exercise and those listeners here online with us, please

Anya Smith:
Let's do

Chloe:
join

Anya Smith:
it.

Chloe:
in.

Anya Smith:
Love it.

Chloe:
But if I ask you, this will help you to conceptualize what coaching really is in two metaphors, if you will. So the first is if I asked you to look around your space and tell me everything that you see, that is the color black. And I'll give you 10 seconds to do that. And every listener as well, do that yourself if you're not driving and look around to see everything that's black and make a mental note of that. So you can start now. Okay, all good. Now, if I came back to you and said, please regurgitate all of the items in your space that are the color blue, you would probably look at me and say, Chloe, what do you mean? What are you talking about? You just asked me to look for everything that I see is black.

Anya Smith:
Yeah.

Chloe:
And that's the entire point of coaching. It's that we all have as individuals, these set of filters that we've been trained and ingrained to view the world as, right? And view the world through. So the image that you have of yourself really is based upon all prior experiences, successes, perceived failures, thoughts, emotions that you've held up into this very moment. And all of these things form the way that you view and then present yourself to the world. And so this practice is really the access point to creating more freedom within your inner world. And if you envision yourself standing at the base of the mountain, right, this is metaphor number two, that's where you are now. And through coaching, we guide you up the mountain slowly and steadily so that you get to the peak, which is where you can see 360 degrees around you. And so you really broaden your perspective, you broaden your view, you can see possibilities that weren't once there for you. And you can really... push yourself into taking inspired conscious action so that you can move from point A to point B.

Anya Smith:
I love that. And to be fully transparent, when Chloe's like, hey, you should try out this coaching with me. And I'm like, oh, okay, I don't know if you're ready for all this craziness. In my head, if anybody realized, I'm like psychoanalyzing all of my issues and I'm like, I'm deeply

Chloe:
Hmm?

Anya Smith:
aware of all the things that are going on. But I was like, hey, let's figure it out. Let's give it a try. And you know what? I really enjoyed our coaching session. Like there were some

Chloe:
Mmm, good.

Anya Smith:
questions that... made me think like you were not only just really present and caring and I could feel, I could feel you really, you know, acknowledging what I was feeling and coming up with these really good questions that weren't solving my issues, but just made me reflect on the situation differently and really focus my attention in the right space. And I was like, ooh, here I am thinking, I know the deep rooted issues that we're working with here. but it made me think differently and it did give me some practical things to take away that I implemented some into my life and it made it better. So to me, honestly, I'm a little bit skeptical about like what can help me at this point and like how much another person can help all this crazy, but I really valued our time. I was honestly surprised how much I appreciated. If you don't mind me asking, like if you recommend people to do coaching, what should somebody look for in a coach? Like what makes that relationship work or not work? And kind of if somebody's maybe on the fence, how should they approach this and see if it's right for them?

Chloe:
Yeah, thank you for sharing your experience and your shared experience with most of the people that I see. That goes for every modality that we're referring to, right? A lot of people have that exact notion about going into a yoga class. There's a lot of intimidation around facing your problems, facing your fears, facing your dreams even, because when we think about our dreams, we get really caught up in the how. and we get really caught up in the idea instead of springing into action. And that's where a lot of the suffering and pain can live for us is in the gray space, and in the mental narratives that we're crafting and creating and the stories that we tell ourselves, even the word crazy that you used, right? According to whom, right? But we have these stigmas about ourselves, and we have these beliefs and these limiting beliefs and thoughts about ourselves that pigeonhole us into places that we can't see ourselves out of. And so when you're looking for a coach, a few things come to mind in terms of what markers of connectivity you should be looking for. I would say the first is have a conversation with them. There are many people online that will promote and advertise services and have fancy language and marketing tactics and tools, but you won't necessarily know what that person's all about until you get them in the room and you get on the phone with them. Ask them questions. It's a two-way street. I always say to my clients, this is a co-creative experience. So I'm going to be the shepherd, if you will. However, you are really the teacher and you are really... the person that's guiding yourself into new realms of possibility. And so when you're thinking about who you wanna work with, I would say make sure that you feel supported and safe. I've worked with people before where on my initial consultation call, I felt a little bit of underlying judgment, and that was something that someone that I chose not to work with. Work with someone that has potentially experienced things that you are looking to gain help in. If they have that lived experience, they might have a bit more insight to pull out of you or to give. I would also say check in with yourself on what your goals are, because there are so many coaches that specialize in very different things. I mean, you could have a coach that specializes in just leadership coaching. You could have a coach that specializes in Um mental health, like health coaching, right? So physical coaching.

Anya Smith:
Right.

Chloe:
And there's just so many different avenues. And so if you can hone in on what avenue you're looking for, that will help you dictate who you want to work with. And then lastly, I would say someone that you feel motivated and inspired by. So someone that you're drawn to, right? Whether that is on social media, or whether that was a referral, or whether that was just an inner knowing, like a ping that you felt this person came into your life at a very specific impromptu time that you want to explore. Trust your gut on those things because your gut never steers you wrong and make sure that you feel that sense of comfort with the coach that you're looking for and that you really understand the services that they're providing.

Anya Smith:
I love that. And honestly, even when I hear your voice, it calms me down. And I see you

Chloe:
Oh,

Anya Smith:
on

Chloe:
thanks.

Anya Smith:
TikTok and Instagram and I enjoy how you share practical lessons and just your energy of the world through that space. And the other thing I wanted to ask about is that I see now you're calm, you're poised, you're bringing this to the world, but I know it hasn't been easy. And I'm really trying to also create an honor space for the reflection on our challenges, if you're OK. Do you mind sharing like what was the journey like to get here? And if you don't mind sharing, what were some of the challenges you had to overcome and learn from to be now in front of me sharing this experience?

Chloe:
Yeah. The first struggle that was with me for quite some time was the acceptance of my full self and the acceptance of where I wanted to go. And as I mentioned earlier, that non-traditional life. That was very overwhelming for me. And that was really hard for me to move through. And that kept me from, that kept me stagnant. right, it kept me in where I was because of fear and because of feelings of uncertainty. So that vulnerability and that exposure was number one challenge that I had to overcome. I even remember when I was thinking about creating an Instagram that, and this is again very transparent, I'm always an open book, but I created a separate Instagram because I never felt comfortable putting my personal development work on my personal Instagram because I felt like maybe that wasn't what my followers at the time wanted to see or would be accepting of, right? So it was a lot of external crises that I was facing there. Granted, I was very lucky to always have the full support of my family, which was really huge. But I think it was just an identity shift within me that I wasn't willing to fully embrace yet. Once I was... And I recognized that I had inherent gifts that were really silly for me not to share, right? I infused a lot of those challenges with humor. So I would say to myself things like, this is ridiculous. Why would I not share with the world what's helped me, right? Why would I not? I've had so many teachers in my life that I feel so connected to you and really... I feel drawn to. And so if I'm learning from them while also creating my own resources and tools, why wouldn't I want to help the person next to me? And it goes back to my remembering of why it is that I feel this way, why it is that I want to do what I set out to do in the world. My gifts are meant to be shared. They're not meant to be hoarded, right? And kept away. And I also think the fragility of life, right? Like you never know what's gonna happen and why not make our one life that we have to live the best one possible and make it one that we love living. And so throughout the challenges of that, as well as other challenges like financial stress, I, for those of you that don't know, just I was let go for Metta, right? And then I stepped into creating my own business and... That was a really scary moment because I wasn't on full-time salary. I had never been there before. I never didn't have benefits. Um, and I'm blessed to have had that in my life and worked towards that, but this was all uncharted territory. And so facing a lot of rejection has been a challenge that I've had to overcome. The adjustments to my lifestyle that I was making, um, and setting boundaries with. people and things that I would have otherwise let impact me in very big ways. And I would also say the last challenge was paralysis by analysis. So having so much to do, wanting to fulfill all of my creative ideas and not knowing where to start. And that overwhelm also kept me like my feet were in quicksand, right? It was that idea where if you walk into a grocery store, and there are 25 different cereals, this has been proven in research and backed by science that humans will probably not pick a cereal. But if you go into a store and there's only five boxes of cereal to choose from, you will then grab one and head out with a box of cereal. And so I had to get really serious about prioritizing and about taking really small baby steps forward because it's so hard. when I thought about the broader vision that I had for myself, I felt completely riddled with fear. And so how I overcame that was really through taking or putting things into motion, right? Like, just keep moving. Because I know that the... overwhelm lives in the space of I have all of this to do and I don't even know where to start and I would talk myself down off the ledge and say well, what's one thing I could do and Allowing myself a lot of compassion and grace as I'm going through this experience

Anya Smith:
Absolutely, it's such a strength to have compassion for yourself. I see posts on threads and wherever people will say, hey, be self-compassionate. People will be like, no, all my issues are because I'm too soft on myself.

Chloe:
Mm-hmm.

Anya Smith:
I respect people's opinions on their life, but I seriously believe being compassionate is a superpower because in my experience, if I'm really strict with myself and bring myself down, it's harder for me to pick myself up and keep trying. But when I'm

Chloe:
Hmm.

Anya Smith:
compassionate, it gives me the ability to still lift myself up while being real with what my challenges are, right? It gives me that safe space, like, hey, I'm not perfect. Here's the area for growth here, but I don't have to debilitatingly crush myself to prove a point.

Chloe:
Mm-hmm.

Anya Smith:
I can reflect and then still try again, probably faster than if I did it any other way. And I appreciate you being so transparent. Like there are so many... difficulties that are really raw and authentic. And I remember in our coaching session, I was talking about how I have a tendency to go all in. I have a very strong bias for action. It's not like, should I be doing this? I'm doing it and we're testing it out. And I'm like, ah, I have so much stuff to

Chloe:
Mm-hmm.

Anya Smith:
do. And where I struggle with is shared views, actually asking for people's help along the way. Because I do have resources and I'm very grateful for that, but it's really hard for me to say, hey, Can you help me, for example, watch the kids longer, or can you help me do all this stuff? And I'm grateful to have that, but it's hard for me to ask for help. And I really appreciate you, as a coach, giving me that reflection, like, hey, what about honoring your own needs? There's a really brilliant question. If you remember it, let me know. You put it a lot more beautifully, but it made me think, okay, yeah, why am I also not giving the same respect to myself as I am to others?

Chloe:
Thank

Anya Smith:
And

Chloe:
you.

Anya Smith:
so sometimes having that compassion and experience helps helps me be better what I'm trying to do anyways, that those big scary goals are actually more efficient and more likely to accomplish them if I give myself grace and give myself compassion. At least that's what I found in the journey. And some of your questions helped me see that. Like, okay, really I should work on this and I should ask for help because ultimately that will help me get towards what I wanna do.

Chloe:
Yeah, that's a very common thought that most people have. This. concept that we have to give, and that's inherently who we are. And if we stop for a second to feel into ourselves or give ourselves a pause or a beat or space, then that's one selfish, or I feel guilty because of it. Or I feel like I'm not being productive. There are so many ingrained beliefs that we hold about giving ourselves nourishment and nutrients in ways that really do help us show up for the other people that we love so deeply and dearly in much better ways. And it can sound corny, right? It's like the saying where you in order for you to give to other people, you need to give to yourself. But it really holds true. Because if you spend the day feeling completely depleted, you're going to be a lot more reactive. You're going to give from your empty tank. And if you think about a phone battery, right? Your phone has to charge every night.

Anya Smith:
We're always

Chloe:
We

Anya Smith:
charging

Chloe:
as humans,

Anya Smith:
the phone.

Chloe:
yes, exactly. We'll give the phone an opportunity to charge, but we won't give ourselves an opportunity to recharge. But in order for the phone to function properly, it has to be charged.

Anya Smith:
Absolutely, and if you don't mind me asking, one thing that even I struggle with is like, hey, here I am in this space, and I know my intention. I truly believe that sharing these stories, being raw and authentic will help people get a perspective of what's possible for them, and that it's not gonna be a perfect journey, but there is a lot of potential to live fulfilled, to do what you're passionate about, to learn along the way and overcome these challenges. But one thing that I do hesitate is like, well, I, I know. I'm a certain age and like I've had a certain kind of experience which does not, you know, cover the world of experiences like the decades that other people have. It's like who am I to share my wisdom and to give advice to other people? But then I realized, well, that's okay because everybody has their unique story and their perspective and that will relate to some people and not to others and that's okay. But I'm curious as you're actually doing coaching, to me that feels like even a more intimate space where we're saying, hey, I can help you in this area. Do you mind me asking how did you find that confidence? in being able to say, yes, I can do this for you, I can help you.

Chloe:
That's a tricky one. Because confidence is definitely still building, always will be. The imposter syndrome is what I'm hearing from you. Does that sound accurate?

Anya Smith:
Yeah, yeah, and I'm still doing it. You know what I mean? I'm like not letting that hold down, but it's definitely something like, okay,

Chloe:
Mm-hmm.

Anya Smith:
what, you know, who am I? And I just, I always respect people's way of like, how do they start and overcome that? For me, it's just realizing, well, it's okay if not everybody likes me. Like that gave me a lot of peace of mind. It's like there are billions of people in the world and some people will resonate with what I'm saying and the stories that we're talking about and some won't and that's cool. Like that gives me a lot of peace, but I'm curious, was there something? on your side that helped you build that confidence like to help others and offer your services.

Chloe:
Coaching, for sure. So I have coaches myself, and that undoubtedly helped me break through some of the constructs that I had formed for myself in the LAC department, right? And looking for, similar to the exercise we did earlier, looking for the reaffirming situations, circumstances, and outcomes that proved my capability and ability. were super helpful. Instead of looking for all of the moments in which I failed, in which I didn't live up to my expectations, that's always gonna keep the confidence levels low. But if you can look for the small moments and not even just in your career, in your personal life, I would think about friends that I've helped, I would think about family members that I've spoken to and the journey that I went on with them in order for... them to feel really supported and really connected, right, to what they wanted to do.

Anya Smith:
Mm-hmm.

Chloe:
I looked for the evidence that proved to be congruent with my inner knowing. And in addition to that, I would say I dedicated myself to this business. I am devoted to it, right? I am so passionate

Anya Smith:
Oof.

Chloe:
about it. Yeah, and it's that constant reminding and it's that practice. I think confidence is assumed to be a feeling. but really it's a mindset.

Anya Smith:
All right.

Chloe:
And it can happen in such small moments where something might happen in that inner voice, that inner critic might seep in and tell you that you can't or tell you that you're less than and tell you that it's not gonna work for you, but you have a choice in that moment. You can listen to that voice or you can come back at it and tell them, thank you for your information, right? Like thank myself for letting me know,

Anya Smith:
Yeah.

Chloe:
but I'm actually gonna choose to override that because The lack of confidence is still just a thought. So how can you compound that thought with a more generative, more aligned thought, knowing that thought's also gonna pass? And practice, right? Practice putting myself out there, practice with friends, with family before I took things off for payment, right? and a lot of inner work on what are some of my blocks, what are some of my stories, what are some of my limiting beliefs, and I'm covering those so that I know when they come up, I'm not gonna let that take hold.

Anya Smith:
Absolutely. That definitely makes sense. And in this space, I think there's so many learnings and there's so many suggestions and it could be a little bit overwhelming. Like, what do I follow? There's so much learning. Do you have any practical advice? How does somebody keep being curious or advancing themselves in this space? Or is it just, you know, find what works for you? Is there kind of a balance to keep learning how to grow themselves, but also not get overwhelmed of everything that's out there?

Chloe:
Yeah, find the people that speak to you and know that there will always be more. Find the things that you're curious about, the expanders in your life, whether that be people, places, experiences, modalities, that really fill you up. And when you feel that sense of overwhelm, Come back to yourself. Give yourself a minute and use your breath. The breath is arguably the most powerful tool that we have. And so if you can, again, meet your feet where your feet are, you'll help to alleviate some of that. The other thing I would say is... Talk to yourself as you would a friend. If you could personify yourself as you would a friend, you'll understand that the expectations that you have for yourself are way beyond any you would ever place on someone else outside of you. And so if you can console yourself in that way, you'll understand that what you're currently going through is something that can be resolved and something that can be softened once you lean in.

Anya Smith:
I love that. And could I add to that two things? Like one thing that I think about, and I also, the changes in my perspective on how I see other people interact in the world is that oftentimes we see reactions from others that maybe we don't like, or we react

Chloe:
Mm-hmm.

Anya Smith:
a certain way. And what I find, at least that I trust, is that oftentimes when we are critical of something, we are even, like we bring that criticism to others. So if somebody has some criticism towards you about whatever, they're probably just as critical about it themselves. Right, and if it affects us in some way, so example, if I call you a cucumber, you're not gonna get affected

Chloe:
Yeah.

Anya Smith:
because no party is like, you know, some part of me believes I'm a cucumber, right?

Chloe:
Mm-hmm.

Anya Smith:
But we only resonate or take to heart something that we potentially feel resonates with us, right? And so here is my thing

Chloe:
completely.

Anya Smith:
about A, if somebody's interacting with you in some way that's critical, it's probably their own limitation that they are very critical about that area in their life themselves. And B, if you're resonating, See, why does that resonate with you? Because the other thing I want to mention, at least it speaks to me, is that our emotions, they're not there, they're not random. A lot of times, like the feeling that we have of fear isn't there to be like destroying, it's really a safety mechanism, right? It's saying, hey, I don't want you to venture somewhere that feels uncomfortable because that's unsafe for us.

Chloe:
Who's

Anya Smith:
And

Chloe:
there?

Anya Smith:
that's okay if we go from a place of, again, compassion, it's like, hey, I appreciate you giving me this safety support, but I'm okay. or

Chloe:
Mm-hmm.

Anya Smith:
looking at those things that are maybe uncomfortable from a different perspective that is not against us, it's really trying to keep us safe. Don't go there, this feels really uncomfortable, I wanna keep you safe. So if we honor that reflection, say, hey, where am I feeling? What is that trying to do for me? And can I say, hey, I hear you, I appreciate you trying to keep me safe or whatever, but I'm okay. That really helped me with some of the healing and emotions and also, Sometimes I have like a couple podcasts I'm recording it and then I'm like, ah. I'm like, why do I do this to my life? Like, ah. But then I slow down and I reflect on it. And that gives me the energy to keep going and think, okay, maybe I should schedule things a little bit differently, right? So that reflection, that compassion, that feeling our emotions gives us space to make things better, to also kind of process emotions in a healthier way. And then the last part that I was mentioning is to also see how people interact with you and not take it as personally. Because you realize what they're probably criticizing, if there's negative something, reaction, it's probably coming from their own judgment of the life, that they're caring of themselves. So don't take it as a you thing. It's probably very much a them thing. Those

Chloe:
Absolutely.

Anya Smith:
random things that came up.

Chloe:
It's always a projection, always. And relationships are the biggest mirror that we can have in our life. When you feel triggered by someone else, it's usually because to your exact point, that thing lives within you and you're trying to move through it or you're trying to avoid it and you don't want it to be present within you. The other thing that you reminded me of, which piqued my... thought around just inquiry, right? Like asking yourself, questioning your thoughts and not taking that face value. Exactly to your point of if I was a cucumber, right? Am I really a cucumber? Is that really true for me?

Anya Smith:
Right.

Chloe:
Is that reality? And yeah, it can be funny in this situation. And sometimes it can even be funny with more serious thoughts. Like,

Anya Smith:
Yes.

Chloe:
how do I know that's true? If you can inquire with your thoughts and hold an- We talk to ourselves all day. We talk to ourselves more than we would talk to any other human on this planet.

Anya Smith:
Yes.

Chloe:
So if you can make that conversation a bit more inquisitive and a bit nicer, you'll see a lot of change happen for you.

Anya Smith:
I love that. And can I share one more example? I was working with somebody, was at Metta, I was working with somebody from Lyre for mental health, you know, whatever you want to call coaching. And one thing that they talked about is catastrophizing is where you imagine that everything's bad is gonna happen. Maybe that wasn't a serious degree, but it's something I do find really true. If you start your day and you anticipate how bad it's going to be, that sets a certain intention in your mind. And what I sometimes do is A, I try to catch that and be like, what if I imagine everything great happening today? Like what if like, no matter what, and I don't always do this, I forget it, but it is really helpful and it does change my day, even if I can catch it at some point. But the other thing, it helps anybody, when I have fear in my head, sometimes I just try to go ridiculous. Okay, this is gonna happen and it's gonna lead to this. And usually there's a mediator strike at the end of it. So like that's usually where it escalated so bad to my fear to think this is just ridiculous. and you have to take it there because why not? A lot of times I find that we spend so much energy in our head, stressed, worrying about what's gonna happen, and not only is it not that bad in the end, but it may not even happen at all. And we are living it in our head instead of being what's happening in the moment. That's just my little side conversation of everything that resonated with me from that.

Chloe:
100%, it's stimulus, something happens, right? And then we make it to mean X. We assume it to be Y. We craft all of these personal attack narratives that hold zero truth in reality. And everyone's reality is that of their own. So... your reality and my reality are going to be completely different. You'll walk into a room and see everything else that I don't see. And we will completely have different experiences of what we're envisioning in front of us. And so when you think about. the idea of even self-sabotage or self-critique, so much of that is generated from within. And that's why coaching can be so beneficial because it really helps you to deepen your connection with the inner world, right? Coaching helps you to explore unconscious or subconscious thinking and examine some of your belief systems, really replace all beliefs with new wisdom and devise meaningful strategies and take inspired action to help you combat some of that voice that you want to quiet a little bit.

Anya Smith:
Yeah, because we're all learning and growing. We're not stagnant. So if you have limiting beliefs, that doesn't mean they have to be true tomorrow or ever. So you

Chloe:
Mm-hmm.

Anya Smith:
shake those off, reflect on those what's no longer serving you. Get rid of that.

Chloe:
Yeah.

Anya Smith:
Tomorrow's a brand new day. And I'm looking at the time, Chloe. I wanna be respectful. We talked about so many great things. I had so much fun during this. Was there anything that we missed? Or are you working towards anything exciting that we can share with the world right now? And can you also touch on how- how people work with you and how do they find you.

Chloe:
Yeah. So I'll start with the first, which if you're wanting to dive into your own self-discovery journey, don't talk yourself out of it. I promise it's not as scary as it might appear or seem. Again, start small, start simple. Do something in the confines of your own home, your own space, if you feel like a group setting is not for you. I'll leave you with a few questions that you can ask yourself that might help you start the process. The first of which is ask yourself what you enjoy doing. Really simple. But what do you enjoy doing? Another question you can ask yourself is how do you spend your free time? And then last but not least is what do you daydream about? And those are great indicators into formulating maybe where you wanna go next, gaining a bit more clarity, focusing your attention, driving your energy into places and things that you really love and are excited about. And so I would invite you to explore those three questions. And then... In terms of what I'm working on, so I actually have an upcoming book club that's happening in August, which will be really exciting. It's totally free. I do different events and it will be completely online and virtual. So you can be anywhere in the world to participate. And we'll basically be meeting for five weeks for 30 minutes each week. And I give you a parameter of pages to read each week. It should be really exciting and thrilling. So if anyone's interested in joining. Just reach out to me in terms of where you can find me. That's on Instagram. I'm at flow by Chloe. You can also find me on TikTok. I'm there as well. My website is www.flowbychloe.com. If you're interested in working with me, you can work with me as a one-on-one coaching client. I am a life coach. I specialize in supporting folks navigate big life transitions or folks that are seeking a big life transition. I also work with companies and corporations in helping build team resilience, increasing employee motivation through workshops and through off-sites. So you can work with me in that way. And if you're interested in yoga, I'm also a yoga instructor, so I can do private corporate events there. And I do different types of programming for either private groups or corporations. So lots of different

Anya Smith:
Oof.

Chloe:
ways to get in touch, lots of different ways to connect with me. And hopefully I'll hear from some of you.

Anya Smith:
Okay, power, power lady, just doing it all. And again, I really think it's a holistic approach to life and you offer so much of that, which is great. And now to wrap up, whenever you're ready, I have three short bit questions to wrap us up. So let me know

Chloe:
Okay,

Anya Smith:
and we'll get,

Chloe:
I'm ready.

Anya Smith:
okay.

Chloe:
Let's hear them.

Anya Smith:
Let's jump into, okay. First thing that comes to mind could be a short sentence or go long, whatever, short bit questions. First one, success to me is.

Chloe:
Finding joy and feeling. confident in your own skin.

Anya Smith:
Okay, second one is, if I could have a superpower, it would be...

Chloe:
to make the world a more peaceful place.

Anya Smith:
You're amazing, you're so kind, love it. Okay, last one in a positive context, going off track is.

Chloe:
stepping into your alignment and listening to your true essence.

Anya Smith:
Amazing. Chloe, this was so much fun. I'm so grateful that life randomly brought us together through work and now we get to be entrepreneur buddies and I get to see your success and growth. And for everybody listening, please share with us what stood out to you, what questions came about. Please tag us on social media. We love to hear from you and we really appreciate you sharing this time and your journey with us. Thank you, Chloe, for being here today as well.

Chloe:
Thank you so much for having me. It was wonderful, as always. Love my time with you, and I hope your listeners enjoy the episode.

Anya Smith:
I love it. Well, thank you everyone again. Thank you for coming right off track with us and join us next time. Take care.