How to Break the Chains of Your Story Addiction and Rewrite Reality - Shiraz Baboo is RightOffTrack | Anya Smith

most people don't realise that they're
addicted to their current circumstances hmm
you think that this is just what's happening to me
this is the way life goes
this is what happens to a whole bunch of people
but really you are creating
all your circumstances as you move through life
and then you're addicted to those circumstances
and when I work with people
we find out why you're addicted
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enjoy this episode
going off track is taking a chance in yourself
following your poles of curiosity
it's making your own decisions
the most wonderful adventure
hey friends
I'm your host Anya Smith
imagine transforming
your life's biggest hurdles into stepping stones
using nothing but the power of energetic magic
we're diving into the world where changing your story
can change your life
guided by the insides of an innovator
who has held thousands worldwide
his methods are groundbreaking
his results life changing
today we are joined by multi award winning author
international speaker and reality interventionist
Shraz Babu Shraz
pleasure to have you here
oh thank you honor
it's great to be here
my pleasure
and for all of us listening
can you tell us a little bit about
what does Energetic Magic do
and how does it facility transformation
it facilitates transformation
we get to the heart of what's going on
in your subconscious mind that's causing you to create
the life you
you're living right now
so most people don't realize that they're
addicted to their current circumstances
you think that this is just what's happening to me
this is just the way life goes
this is what happens all whole bunch of people
but really you are creating
all your circumstances as you move through life
and then you're addicted to those circumstances
and when I work with people
we find out why you're addicted
and once we see why you're addicted
we can try to invalidate
the reasons for those addictions
so for instance
often times
people say well
I'm not making a lot of money right
and I'm like
well do you
do you actually wanna make money
and they're like yeah
of course I do
but once we dig down
we find out there are things like
if I make a lot of money
I have to pay a lot of taxes
but I don't wanna pay a lot of taxes well
that means you don't wanna pay a lot of money right
and if I make a lot of money
people gonna come up and ask me
can I have some money
can you invest in my company
yeah are are
are you using your money the right way
and they'll
be telling you how to do things with money and like
I don't want to have any of those conversations
and then your brain says
well if we don't have the money
we don't have to have those conversations I got you
we'll just make sure we don't make a lot of money
and then on top of that
if you see someone else and they've got
issues because of the money they're having
they're complaining about taxes or complain that oh
I can't even tell people like me
for me or me for my money
you get this fix and it's like
I don't have to deal with that
cause I don't have that money and it feels good
and then your body looks for another dose of that
so you keep looking for people that have money issues
and even by having lots of money
and you say well
thank God right here that I don't have the money
you look for people that are complete jerks
because they have lots of money you like
I'm not not like one of those people
and you get another hit
you're hitting yourself with dopamine
oxytocin like sometimes adrenaline
if you get an accomplishment
by not having money
like just paying your bills at the end of the month
you just managed to do it
you get it from adrenaline
and you're like
oh that felt good
and then your body says
let's do that every month
so we can keep getting that fixed
every month
and the addiction is now there
so that's that's what I do
is I help you find out why you're addicted
then when you realize
well that sucks
like I want to keep doing that
then we can get you addicted to
reality with lots of money
with better relationships
with better health
whatever it is that you need to change in your life
absolutely and I think a lot
a lot of our audience have heard of other addictions
right whether it's be with alcohol
um other substances
so we're familiar with that
but here were conceptuals that our whole life
could have a broader range of addiction
so are there similar steps for
quote unquote
recovery on this addiction track
yeah it is it can be very similar
because it is a physical addiction
what I typically do with people is
when we find out what the addiction is
and we invalidate it
we start rewiring your neural pathways
and in the neural
rewind neural pathways
we decrease the need for the addiction
that's the people still go through withdrawal
they fall off the wagon
and they start having a different reality
let's say they start making more money and more money
and then the money just goes away
and they're like
I thought this was working
but that's a work
I'm like no
you went into withdrawal
like that's all that was
so let's just get you back on there
then you'll go further
then you might fall off again
and when you realize this is part of the process
just like someone of becoming smoking addiction
or alcohol addiction eventually
you get to a point where the money is just flowing
and you mention money
I can imagine that being a key thing
that people fixated their relationship to money
are there other key areas people have addictions with
that maybe we don't think about as normal addictions
so any consistent situation in your life
you are addicted to
so if no one acts like you say
no one ever listens to anything I'm saying
you're addicted to no one listening to what you say
if you never feel like you're enough
you're addicted to never feeling like you're enough
and we don't realize that
it's just you just think well
I people keeps telling me I'm not enough right
I can't get the accomplishments I want
and really you're doing that to feed the addiction
and you don't even know it
because you just think
I wanna feel like enough
right or I wanna have that amazing relationship
or I'm sick of being sick
I've suffered with rheumatoid arthritis for 18 years
before I realized that I was doing it
because I believed
I was responsible for everyone in my life
and if I if I didn't have the arthritis
I would be overwhelmed with responsibility
but if I have the arthritis
then I can be
lie in bed in pain
and not have it responsibility because no one could say
come take care of me
because they're looking at me in pain
so and then
I was addicted to the feedback people would give me
because they're like
oh sure as you're a great guy
it's so bad that this is happening to you
this love is coming in whenever the pain crops up
so then I create more pain
and I'm stuck in this addiction to an illness
that I don't even need to be it
and when when a coach of mine pointed that out
we shifted my beliefs around
the whole addiction and the need to be responsible
and the next day
my arthritis was gone wow yeah
that's so powerful is what you mentioned right there
is that it's not just the
the perceived habits we have
it's a physical
manifestation of things that support that habit
and what reminds me of like two things
one is that
like I am currently
I got into this mom group for working out
and it was like
I had all this knowledge in mind
but I remember that I set myself like a limiting belief
which could be a habit like oh
I can't go to that next level of you know
physical workout
whatever because you know
I don't have the time
it says well
if I'm a mom
then I definitely don't have the time
and I'm getting busy
but I was just creating this habit for myself
which was that you know
physically manifesting itself
cause I was like
okay no no no
I can't do this
I I can't get to next level
so why bother
so reminds me of some of those things where
if we tell ourselves that
like we are creating that habit
so getting back to this
how can people catch themselves
like what is the first sign that here you are
addicted to something and it's not serving you
so anything you're complaining about
either to other people or internally
that's happened to your life
in your life over and over again
you're addicted to it
you just don't realize
so if you're constantly tired
you're addicted to that
if you're always busy
you're addicted to that
if you never have enough money
you're addicted to that
if people are always coming to you to help for help
and you're the one that's taking care of everyone
you're addicted to that
and once you realize there's an addiction
you have to figure out what's the reason
for the addiction
if you start asking the question
why do I want this in my life
as opposed to why do I have to keep dealing with this
then that can cause
the answers to come up from your subconscious mind
but if they don't
you need to work with some sort of a coach
that can help you pinpoint these things
and that's that's one of the things I do
is we find out all this is what's going on
so I had I worked with the client
she's running an events business
but she had to keep casting on clients
because she kept getting chronic headaches
and she told me she had chronic headaches since she was
6 years old
and as we looked into it
we found out that her family taught her
that you've always gotta be working or you're lazy
but one time she had a headache
and then she didn't have to work
it was and she realized oh
I can use this as a way out right
and she didn't make it wasn't a conscious decision
but now from age of 6
chronic headaches through her life
right and it's basically whatever her body told her
I'm done I need a rest
and she wasn't in a place to actually take a rest
because she'd been taught if I rest I'm lazy
this was her way out
so now I said
we got it to one with you just rest when you want to
you work when you want to right
like you don't have to keep working
those that lesson you got taught is completely invalid
let it go and her headaches went away
it it is that typically the process
so you pinpoint you reflect
you pinpoint on what the center is of that habit
that addiction
and then you create a new habit
or does that realization release a lot of that energy
what happens at that point
typically that that realization releases it
and you can start coming out of the addiction
now I encourage you to
to set an intention to create a new addiction
cause your body wants to be addicted to something
it's going to create a new addiction
so you might as well to say
you know what
instead of instead of just paying the bills every month
I'm gonna be addicted to
raising the amount of money that's in my bank account
each month right
so now it's gonna be 10,000 that it's gonna be 15,000
I'm gonna get a fix every time I hit that new milestone
rather than get back to zero right
like that yeah
cause that's what people are doing
they're just getting back to zero
yeah and for example
like you how about the example of a
somebody having this fear about money
like they like
I logically want to have money
but then when I think about it
I don't wanna pay taxes
so when they realize that
and there's a conflict between logic
and subconscious perception
how do you battle those out
cause I find that sometimes
like logically I want something
but subconsciously I struggle with it
and I'm aware of that subconscious
but how do I then like rebuild the new habit
around that
so one of the things you can do is
start programming yourself to be in the life you want
so if you've ever seen movies like The Secret
they say if you wanna manifest something
imagine like if for a car
imagine being in the car and feeling the steering wheel
and the seat and seeing the road drive by
and just get into the full feeling of it
so to be clear
for doing things like that
you have to
imagine these things from a first person point of view
so you're not seeing yourself
you're seeing through your eyes
just like you do in real life
so that your brain thinks it's actually happening
and you have to hold that thought and the emotion
for a minimum of 30 seconds
because otherwise
if you're jumping from scene to scene to scene
your brain knows that's not actually happening
but when you're holding it for a certain amount of time
it's now a memory
and the more you are in that
future space of the successful you or the healthy you
or whatever the you
that's an amazing relationship
the more mural pathways get rewired to say
well this is just who I am
and it can have physical effects as well
so for instance
I was at on vacation last year
and you got pictures back from the ignition
and I saw my stomach and how big it was I'm like
when did I get so fat
oh my God I can't go to beaches
now until I get rid of that stomach
and then I I thought
what I I'm not really in the mood to work out
this is gonna be a whole ordeal
working out and getting myself in that place
but I take walks every morning and every evening
so in the morning walk to 40 minute walk
instead of just going for a walk
I usually listen to an audiobook
I imagine myself at the gym
having the body I want
and doing the exercises in real time at the gym
for 40 minutes
and every morning I would do that over
and over and over in the same routine just doing it
and within six weeks
I was losing weight
and starting to gain muscle mass
and I wasn't actually working out
within two months
I was craving actually working out because to my brain
I've been doing this for two months
so then I started working out in the mornings
and I still kept doing my walk
so I basically working out twice a day
and I'm seeing I went down to
two sizes on my belt right and
and it's because I was putting myself as a future self
so my reality had to catch up to it
my thoughts had to align to it
I found myself not craving as many sugary foods
because someone that has that body type doesn't
eat that much sugary foods
and I didn't have to put myself on a diet
I just stopped craving the things that that person
wouldn't eat
alright and you can do this for your body
you can do this for your success
your money your relationships
but it comes from that discipline
because holding a thought for 30 seconds continuously
is hard most people could hold a thought
for seven seconds or less
which is about the same as a goldfish right
wow that's amazing
my question is
how do we balance that
you and yourself being that 30 second
you know image of where you wanna be
who you wanna be
with also essence of being present
because what I see people doing is
they're often in their heads doing something
but without really being intentional about it
so how do you balance being present
and this ability to also see yourself in the future
and visualizing that
you can actually imagine your future self
in the present moment
so you may be doing things in the present
but you can do them
you can imagine that it's your future self doing it
like I'll be in the kitchen now and I'll be
doing the dishes and I'll be like maids off today
so I guess I'll just do the dishes
my future self has the maid doing it every single day
and so I I play these little games of
this is just what's happening in the moment
and as as a result
like my my income is going up
my business is going up
my connections are going up because I keep
seeing my future self already has this all in place
and so reality is catching up to who I am
and what do you think is the cost of people
who are mindlessly kind of wondering
like if you're just on autopilot all day
like it seems like we're really
we're creating something
but it's not serving us
we're subconsciously creating something that's based on
our limiting patterns
do you think that's correct
yeah so look at 95% of the people in the world
that's what they're doing right
we think that because we
we have these thoughts that we're
we're actually thinking
but most of the thoughts people have are
program responses to things that happened in the past
and you just Learned
that's how I'm supposed to respond to that right um
George Bernard Shaw said
2% of the people in the world think
3% think they think
and 95% would rather die than think
but I found that to be right
like I watch people
and you can see how they react in a certain situation
and then I can
I can just purposely create a similar situation
watch the exact same reaction
because they're not in thought
they're in complete reaction
which is just pre program responses
but they think they think
yeah so much of our habit takes over
yep so the more you are aware
the more you
you actually start to think
and you can start to make new choices
and that and new choices
you make a new reality
and you can even do the really simple exercises
like start brushing your teeth with the other
with the other hand for a while
because now you have to think
when you're usually brushing
there's no thought about
cause you now your mind thought of things
cause your your body is an autopilot while
you're brushing your teeth
but now you bring yourself into thought
because you're not used to doing it with the other hand
and you can do little things like that to bring
yourself totally present and in thought
because what you're doing is new now
and eventually you're gonna start to become aware
even when you do something automatically
like oh shoot
that was automatic
but that awareness is taking you above where
95% of the world is
and so would you recommend something like me
I'm trying to be more present and also see myself
as that future person now
so is there an advice for like how to balance it
again you can
you can see
be in the present about yourself in the future
but would you say like
try to do that as much as possible
like 30 minutes a day
10 times a day
is there a good amount or amount to strive to
or just do your best balancing those two
I would say do it a minimum of an hour a day
be in that future self
but you don't have to be like an hour a day sitting
and imagine your future self
it's like for me
I'm out for the walks
being my future self
and I was gonna do a walk anyway
so it's not cutting into my time
I'm just utilizing my time differently to create
to manifest what I want
and like with terms of fitness
every chance I get
when I realize I'm not doing it
I imagine I have the body I want
because that way
I'm just getting used to this is the new body
as opposed to the body that currently exists
and that helps
they've shown that
when you imagine yourself
doing things
the muscles will actually fire
which is why I started losing weight
and gaining muscle mass
because even though I wasn't doing those
exercises physically
my body was firing the muscles as if I was
so that's the one thing
the other thing is as I said
the more you do this
the more you rewiring your own pathways
so your mind thinks well
this is who I am
as opposed to
I'm just pretending
right right
yeah I I hear about this all the time
like how our mind perception is similar as
pretty much the same as a real experience
for example
if you think about apple
like a juicy
delicious apple
like you just smell it
you see it use
imagine the crunch
like you start salivating
and you're physically aren't even holding anything
right you're just imagining it
but your brain responds the same way
so it's a really powerful interaction
and on that note
could you show
go ahead if you wanna add something to that
another one is to anchor in your successes
so whenever I have a success
I say well that's how I roll
and I will do that when people are around as well
so something will happen and be really good for me
well that's just how I roll
and eventually they start
they see me having successes
and they'll say it back to me
well that's just how you roll
and the thing is
now when they're saying it to you
just like when other people around you
program you with their beliefs
they're reflecting the belief you've told them
back into you
so it's hitting your subconscious telling you
well that's just who you are
that's how you roll
so I've got all my friends programmed right now right
the two phrases that use on me all the time
that's how you roll
and everything always works out for you
yeah right so
and then that's the reality I create
as a result
so you just play with it
I'm like you when you're doing it in a playful way
they'll play with they'll play with you
if you do it in a way that's like wow
you know what I'm always the best in
then they they they're not gonna play as much
but and and especially when you encourage them to do it
cause I'll encourage them
if I see them having a success obviously
like that's just how you roll and they're like
you see them light up because yeah
that's how I roll
and then everyone gets it on the game yeah
you're making the world better right
if you show a better
it's not selfish
it's that you give other people the permission to do so
and you put your best self into the world
means that you have more capacity to
be better to give to grow to help inspire others
so I think we need to
get over the sense of being selfish or whatever
that negative connotation towards money whatever
but look at as a
the more you have within you
the more you can give to the world
and so it's a win win collaboration
yes exactly
and I'm curious
can you share a couple more examples
so you talk about yourself and that's how you roll
and everything works out for you
but are there a couple of clients or people
who have gone through this and had some incredible
transformations by going through his addiction
recovery and new addiction cycles oh yeah
so so many um
one of my favorite clients
I actually have a couple stories on her
so she came to me one time because she was
doing a online
conference I think it was called
and she's been doing it for eight years right
it's for the travel industry
3,000 people online every single year
and she calls me and she says
it's two days till the conference
there are 500 people registered
and I'm like okay
but you still got two days
that most people registered in the last two days
because I've been doing this for 80 for eight years
I know how many people should be registered
and we're way under
there should be at least 15 people registered 500
so we looked at that
I said okay
what's different this year
and she said well
I'm hosting it like you host it every year
she was no no no
I run it every year
I always hire a host
but we didn't get one this year
I'm hosting huh
and this is like shows this
this is gonna show how powerful we are
is as people are to so
you don't want people to show up because you're hosting
what are you afraid it's gonna happen
because what if I say the wrong thing
what if I trip on stage
what if I insult one of the guests
I'm like oh
there's a lot going on here haha
and we can actually cause people not to show up to
our events to our workshops to to buy our stuff
because of certain beliefs
and I've seen this happen over and over
and over with my clients
and once they get through the beliefs
those people start to show up
so we got her out of this
this belief that it's gonna be embarrassing and
she'll never recover from it
and people won't wanna work with her as a result
we got all that out
and then she calls me a day after
the conference is over
and I'm like
did the 3,000 people show up
she said no
8,000 people showed up
wow yeah right
I'm like so you were always holding back to some extent
and now it's gone
and then I was like a year later she calls me up
and she said
my brother and my boyfriend are fighting all the time
and I'm like
do you want me to talk to them
and she goes no
I want fighting right
right and I'm like
I can't make them stop fighting and she goes
you told me
that everything that's happening in my realities
because I creating it putting it there
so if they're fighting
it means that part of me wants them to fight
and therefore it's if it's me wanting them to fight
if we shift what's in me
they will stop fighting that's what you told me
I'm like yeah
yeah okay yes
I did tell you that right
I didn't think would come up in this particular
circumstances
but that's exactly what I've told you
you're creating everything
so we started looking at what was going on
and both her brother and her boyfriend
have the personality where they like to rib the
the people around them
and she had this belief that if they got along
she'd be the target of both of them
but if they fought
then she'd never be the target and she was safe
and so it was all about I don't wanna be the
the victim in this relationship with these
these two people
so we got her out of that victim mindset
and worrying about being attacked
and she calls me two hours later and she goes
they stop fighting thank you
right why yeah
she's one of my favorite clients cause she gets it
she gets she got
she got it to a level that I didn't even get it
I'm like yeah
I did say that
so let's work this out wow
it also that that's amazing
I love how just like that little responsibility
people do say that a lot
it makes me think also as a mom right
right now I have moments where the kids are kinda
yelling and demanding what knows
and I think well
how am I creating this right
cause obviously parties like well
you know they'll grow up in 5 years
haha just wait
just wait um
but there are two point is the sense of accountability
like how am I
what are my delinative beliefs
and that's my challenge honestly
for myself with like 10 second
what am I doing to create this reality right
um so that's a little bit of homework
for me to get out of it
and if you're free to add into that by more secures
you mention that there could be states of withdrawal
where people like hey
I'm on this
I'm on this
but then they see something change
how do people
overcome these withdrawals when they come up
it is a part of it is being forgiving of yourself
because a lot of times when we have
we're seeing the winds and then we lose it
we're like oh my God
what's wrong with you
are you stupid
like why why am I such a loser
like that these things come up
and when you get that
or you've just gone through withdrawal
then you wanna give yourself some love and some space
and say okay
you had a moment
let's get back on the wagon and do it again
and the more times you are forgiving of yourself
the easier it is to get out of the addiction
but you have to remember that you're gonna get
those symptoms coming up
I had a client
something went wrong every single day right
and he's like
I don't know what it is
something always goes wrong all the time
and when I started talking to my said huh
are you a problem solver
he goes oh yeah
I'm the most amazing problem solver
like I can solve any problem
like huh okay
so let me ask you this
as a problem solver
what do you have to keep having in
your life to make sure you feel you're valuable
and he's like oh crap
I'm like yeah
so here's the thing
instead of being a problem solver
why can't you just be
a person that can solve problems though
instead of having your source of value and pride
come from problems all day
it's just something you do
something you do really well
and then in that space
you don't have to have problems any and all the time
but when they come up
you can handle them
and that way like
and his job was all problem solving to it
and that way the problems can stick to the job
for the most part
you don't need them in the regular life because of the
you're getting paid to solve those problems
so he said huh
yeah okay I can see that that sounds good
and so then he calls me back like three weeks later
and I said hey
what's going on
what's happening
he goes had a problem today
and I'm like
why do you sound so happy about it
he goes well
we had our conversation
and the next week there were no problems
I was like this is amazing
the only problems I have are at work
this is great
this actually works
and then the week after that
I was getting a little anxious
because I was so used to there being something right
and then this week it was full on the
when is the shoe gonna drop
where the problem
and when the problem finally dropped I was
I felt relief
like there it is right
and I'm like yeah
that's withdrawal
right that's what you're doing
gotcha that is so interesting again
I'm just thinking about myself
like where areas where I'm perceiving value
or getting validation out of things that I Coco
don't enjoy
um so for all of our listeners
I'm curious
like where areas for you
like as you're hearing this
what are things that you don't logically say you enjoy
but where are you getting value out of that
what is the benefit
of the thing that is not serving you
and how can we
have challenged that to a more fitting place
where there's like hey
how can I do this at work
problems solved at work
uh what is the reality
I do wanna create
what is the new addiction
the positive addiction
cause we will look out for that
that we can create for ourself and trust
I'm curious two things
two examples
can recover um
to help other people listening
common addictions that come to mind is being busy
especially entrepreneurs oh yeah
like the the keyword is like
I'm so busy like oh
I'm busier than you no
I'm busier than you um
and then the second one is social media
can we tackle in your experience
what are some ways people to tackle this
constantly to be busy
and then if we have time to talk about social media
how do we get over that addiction
okay so with the busyness
busyness often starts from
the fact that people don't wanna say no
without having an excuse
they can't just say no
and make that a complete sentence right
they feel guilty if they tell people no
and don't have a legitimate excuse
and that's a decision you're making is
I'm gonna feel guilty if I just say no
so your mind says well
what excuse can we come up with so that when we say no
it's legitimate and it's real
so the three big things that happened is
I don't have any time
I don't have any money
or I'm too sick
and you're gonna
you're gonna have one
two or three of those in your life
if you don't wanna say no
to people and
and you think you have to feel guilty
so business I'm sorry
I'm too busy
so you don't have to do the things you don't want to do
and you have a legitimate excuse right
and then whenever you say sorry
I'm too busy and and you're actually busy
you actually get another fix
you get a nice dopamine hit
because you're not feeling guilty
and it's all true
so you have to keep being busy
when you can decide
I can say no
without feeling guilty
you don't need to be busy anymore
the other thing is just what you said
I'm busier than you
I'm busier than you
I've watched this with people
and you have
the conversations with the other people that are busy
and in the back of your mind it's like
how can I outdo the other people
so I have the best story to tell
and you get a fix whenever you're the one on top
so you've got a whole group of people that are all
making their lives worse
because they wanna win the gossip talk
right today
they want to be the top one that get the
get the prize for that particular day and yeah
I remember I went back when I was corporate
I was in the lunchroom
we're all chatting away
and I heard the competition going and I'm like
I can't stay here and listen to you guys
because it's
I know for you internally it feels good
but all I'm hearing is a bitching session that's it
in I'm curious can I accept for some reason sometimes
the bitiness also comes from desire to please people
where's the sense of oh
you know I wanna say yes to this because potentially
I can help and I can help here and I can help here
sometimes I don't necessarily being as a way to like
not saying no
is that desire to please
is it me to also
address that desire to please in this context
yep so if you're a people pleaser
you're gonna do whatever
you can to get your fix of them saying
oh my God thank you
and you can choose business as another form
and same thing
and you can choose giving money
or you can choose giving your uh
so your time
your money yeah
so your energy
it's so but now yeah
now you've created that addiction to
receiving love from other people
this is a big thing because
you could just
like everyone could be a source of love to you
you can be a source of love to yourself
and most people don't get that
and when you become the source of love to yourself
you don't need the love from anyone else
but you still get it
so instead of it being the meal
it becomes the dessert
because you've given yourself the meal in self love
and that way
if you're not getting it
you're still fine
you don't go into this place of withdrawal
I need to get someone to
I need to go be busy and help someone
so that I can get some love from them
she's like no
I'm all good
and if someone wants me to help them that I can do that
and I'll appreciate if they're thankful
but I don't have to do it
I don't have to get that fixed
I don't have to prove that I'm
useful or a good person or get them to like me
it's just I'm just gonna be me
it's a much easier way to live
do you have any advice on
how to cultivate that self sense of like I am
I am the dinner
so keep in mind that
you have a tremendous amount of value
you are born valuable
but then we get taught that in order to be value
you have to do things
and the thing you know
you're valuable because you got to look at it this way
have you ever hold held a Newborn baby in your arms
oh dude so from the way we are taught
that you've got to do things are to be valuable
that means that when you
were holding those babies in your arms
right after they're born
you're like
you're useless
you're worthless
because you haven't done a damn thing in your life
it's already day 1 you pooped
right no one does that right
you feel the value coming off that child
that child has not been taught to diminish their light
and think they have no value
it's in full value and you feel that coming off
you were once that child
that value hasn't diminished
it hasn't gone away
if anything has grown
so when you get that
and you don't do things to get value
you do things to express
the value that's already in you
and the more you learn the more
the more vehicles you have to express your value
and that's all that is
but we get taught no
I gotta learn and learn
so that's gonna give me more and more value no
it's the opposite
it's just you've got the value
just how do you wanna express it
right and when you really embrace this
people will pay just to be in the room with you right
and you know this cause there's some people out there
you'd pay to be in the room with
right right
right right
and what about social media
that's the other powerful addiction that I wanna get to
is that all around
we see that people are more and more
living with their phone attached to them
and I am no exception
I have spent too much time on my phone
how could people start getting over this addiction
of being on social media and being on their phones
being glued to those devices
so they've actually done studies and
staying on social media up to half an hour a day
actually raises your happiness level
after the half hour
it drops drastically
like it just goes down
so it's not that social media is a bad thing
it's just how long you're on
and just even the knowledge that if I
put in about a half an hour on social media
it's gonna make me a happier person
it's gonna it's gonna feed me
it's gonna you know
I'm still gonna have those connections to people
then then work within those boundaries
now for some people
if you're running your business through social media
you're gonna be on a lot longer
cause it's your business
but at that point
you're gonna wanna be aware
how much I'm actually doing my business versus
just the addiction of look at all the likes I'm getting
yes and here's the thing
if you're living for likes
you're not in your value and loving yourself
yours every like for you is someone loves me
and you're addicted to the love
you're getting from other people
and just become aware of that
so and and again
you can still be an appreciation when you get a like
but if you're dependent on a like
then those are the people that
put a post in that just like
okay there's a like
I'll put my phone down
go let me check
is there there's another like Yay
and then there's no like
oh my God I suck
I must be valueless because I didn't get a third like
you you're fully dependent on everyone else for your
for your joy
and joy is something you can create internally
sounds like there's a cycle though
no matter the diction
there's a root cause of it
and it seems like it's aligned to your self worth
and identifying the value they have eternally
and building things that serve that
like building the habits that serve your inner worth
and things you want versus things that can avoid
limit you and protect you
but in ineffective ways
yeah our two biggest drives are to be loved
and not be cast out
and everything else just sort of forms on top of that
whatever it is
and it can form in different ways
like when we're kids
we look around to see what love looks like
cause we wanna be loved
so if you're an abusive household
you decide abuse is love
if your your parents only uh
pay attention to you when you clean your room
then you learn that service is love
right if only
if you only get attention when you act out
you hear you believe attention is love
and you don't care if it's good
attention or bad attention
it's attention is love
and so you just try to figure out what love looks like
and then you go through life with that in mind
so one of my clients it was there was fighting
so parents would fight all the time
she goes oh
like she didn't consciously do this
but her little kids self said oh
that's what love looks like
and then when I was working with her
she goes I fight with every one of my boyfriends
and then we found out well
her parents always watches
she's just trying
this is her expressing love to them unconsciously
cause consciously she's like
I'm sick of fighting with my boyfriends
let's make it stop
I'm like but you love it
wow so powerful trust
and here you are
like having all the experience helping others
were you always so clear on this addiction pattern
or how did you get onto this path
how did you
how the heck
did you find yourself helping others in this face
so there's there were two pivotal moments for me
like number one was
I got arthritis when I was 22 years old
wow and I suffered with it for 18 years
was in every single joint in my body
so it got so bad that there were like
nights where I would sip my dinner through a straw
because my jaw was so swollen and painful
that I couldn't move it
like every single joint
and I tried everything
medication diet
supplements
like new new types of things that come out magnets
yoga meditation
nothing worked until I met a mentor
and he put me through this program
which I thought it was in India
so I thought
we could do some energy healing and stuff like that and
and he just talked to me for two weeks
going through my whole life story
and I think
try to think what
what's the point of this
I might as well be with the psychiatrist
I can get that back home
I flew all the way to India haha
and after two weeks he says
well sure us
you think you're responsible for everyone in your life
right and then I'm like no
I don't and he goes well
I know you don't think you do this is all unconscious
and then I said well
what's it got to do with arthritis
and he goes well
when you're sick in bed and people see you struggling
they're not gonna ask you to take care of them
this is your way out this is not a problem
it's a solution
I was like well
that sucks like that's that's ridiculous
and he said
but that's what most chronic illnesses are
so then I said okay
you know what
if that's true
then all I have to do is stop being responsible
for anyone else and my arthritis should just go away
he's like yeah
what he goes yeah
if you actually believe it deep down
and so I said okay
I'm not gonna be responsible for anyone but me
and the next day oh
it's gone wow
and to be to be clear
the damage done to my body was still there
cause what's physical damage being done to my body
but the arthritis itself was gone
so that was
that was the start because I realized oh my God
just these thoughts
create everything that's going on in my body
and that's when I started to figure out
it's not just about physical stuff
it's about money
it's about relationships
it's about everything
and then the second incident was
that I kept getting stopped at borders
and every time I traveled if I drove across the border
if I flew even if I was on trains
I would get stopped every single time
and I called some people out
I said is this your black check
and they said yeah
we have to check the black people
so I knew yeah
I knew exactly why
what was happening
and I'd be telling all these people
this is what happened this time I got
I got delayed
I got my luggage searched
I got my person searched
I got my vehicle searched
I was put in a room for a while
like all these things
and then finally
one of my coaches says
well Schrazzi
you ready to step out of that story
what are you talking about
this is not a story
this is racism
and he goes yeah
is racism involved
but it's not
it's not racism
it's a story
I'm like no
they said it's a black check
this is like and this
you can't tell me racism isn't real
it goes no racism is real
what you're experiencing is a story
how the hell is it a story
and he goes yeah
denied jobs because you're black
you don't get pulled over
at traffic because you're black
there's a whole bunch of things that happen to people
because they're black
you only get stopped at borders
that's it that's the only thing
that's a story
that's an addiction
it's happening over and over again
and so I said well
how how is it an addiction
because there's always some benefit out of an addiction
you're getting something out of it
and I said I'm getting delayed
I'm getting humiliated
I'm getting frustrated
like there's no positive thing to this
and he looks at me and goes Ross
when you tell your border crossing stories to people
you light up
you feed their responses to you
and you can't keep going the same border story
over and over again
so you have to keep getting stops
so you have new material
interesting
and I was like damn it
right and so I said okay
you know what I'm done
instead of getting love from people for my struggle
for my adversity
I'm gonna get love through my successes
and then I stopped getting stopped at borders
I was unconsciously doing things
to make them be suspicious of me right
and I found out there's non white customs agents right
I suddenly saw them
I saw the black one
and the Chinese one in the Indian one
because I was unconsciously lining myself up with
the white ones to make sure there was right haha
I just like you
I can see the whole world through a new lens
once you let go of the addiction
and but that it's still the same thing
if the same problem is coming up over and over again
there's an addiction there
and I see a lot of people complaining that I don't
I don't get these opportunities because I'm black
or because I'm a woman or because I'm this old
or because whatever it is
if you're constantly complaining about it
you're addicted to it
and often times
if you're physically complaining about this
other people and not just keeping it to yourself
you're looking for that love from them
from your adversity
so you have to keep creating that adversity
to keep getting the love
and this is another reason to start the love internally
cause then you don't need it from other people
so you don't need to create
the adversity in the first place
Oof makes me think about what my border story is
I can definitely
I'm definitely have some homework around this
and you're inspiring this
so to honestly
what is your border story
all right just like you said
like you could be
so sure that all this is definitely not serving me
it's just X
y Z it's happening like ah
and yet there's this level of honesty of like whoa
I do like this part of this
so it's making me question like
what do I like about things that I'm complaining about
even internally to myself
like sometimes I'm not telling everybody
oh this sucks
but internally every day I'm like
ah ah so um
even if it's not something
actually it gives me an extra oh
I can't do this cause I have XYZ
right or hey
I'm just so frustrated right now
I have to put up XYZ until later
so it just makes me really reflect on all things
so thank you so much for bringing this light
is there anything else
like how could people work with you
if they're catching themselves in their border stories
like you know what
I am thinking that maybe this thing is not just
you know um
I can do something about it
it's not just something that I can
I want to complain about all the time
there's actually something I can now make a change
how could people start doing that with your help
so my help it can start from listening to my audios
I've created a bunch of audios called
Stop Thinking like a goldfish so
so you got to start
and they train you to hold your thoughts
for 30 seconds or more
once you know
how to hold your thoughts for 30 seconds or more
then you can start doing those visualization exercises
and hold the thoughts and the feelings
is important to do both thoughts and feelings
so you can start rewiring your neural pathways
so when you get the
these audios on the success page of the audio
so you've you downloaded them and said success
you're gonna get the audios
it invites you to an event I do every single month
called Ignite Your Success
it's a free workshop where I work one on one
with the people in the workshop
to find out what their addictions are
and get them out of the addictions
and the cool thing is one person comes in and said
this is what my problem is
we find out what the addiction is
and like 80% of the people in the room oh my god
I got that too
so we get rid of it for everyone at the same time wow
this is amazing
I love this
thank you so much for doing this
I'm excited for all of us to check this out
now wherever you are
even if you're just thinking about starting Corbin
these techniques
if you are ready to take the next step further
check out this resource
and then like sign up for the monthly event
that sounds incredible
maybe you might find me in there
and if you chapter
I do a little bit of homework
and trust here at right Off track
we wrap up with we offer fire questions
so whenever you're ready
let me know and I will shoot
I'm all set okay
what is one piece of advice
for someone skeptical about changing the reality
one piece of advice skeptical of
wow is if you're skeptical of changing reality
is your reality actually working for you
like ask yourself that question
because if it's not
then maybe you really want to change your reality
the other thing is go read you are the placebo
yes yes do Spencer yes yeah
okay great advice
check out this book
does fence is incredible
and so much is in there about like the physics
and the science behind this um
this psychoplasic neuroplasticity
neuroplasticity okay
um let's see
the most unexpected
feedback from somebody you've helped
the most unexpected feedback
um oh I know
I was giving a workshop and there was a woman that
that was attending
and she didn't say anything through the
through the entire workshop
she just came in sort of said that when she said hello
and then that was it
and then she left without saying goodbye
and I thought oh
that was interesting
she probably didn't get a lot out of it
and I she sent me an email the next morning
and she said
I attended your workshop last night
I've had chronic pain in my arm for seven years
it's gone now
I didn't even work with her
what you heard from the other people
was enough to cause her to say I'm done
I'm done with this pain
let's get out of it
wow I love that
it's incredible it's
it's it blows my mind just how powerful our psyche is
and every day
like I love having conversations like this
you see more and more people are becoming a tune
to this tune to that
they can be creating the reality they want
by being aligned
with what they really want and what's not serving them
and where's the subconscious
where their subconscious is taking up okay
I can talk about this for hours
but I want to respect your time so
the last question is in the positive sense
going off track is
going off track it's
it's exactly what I talked about
getting out of the addiction
going on to a new track that creates more wonder
more adventure more opportunity more happiness for you
beautiful you put it so much as this was so much fun
it made me think
I hope everybody listening that you were thinking about
what addictions do you have
has this challenged your perception of addiction
has it broadened it to now question
what is really not serving you
maybe you thought addictions was a conventional like
you know alcohol drug substance
but has it got you thinking about
where are your border stories
how can you take a change of them
and if you're excited about this prospect
I encourage
you to check out resources with the schrasuses or just
you know take a
take it time to visualize the reality you want
have those feelings and see where that takes you
and feel free to share this with somebody
who might find it helpful
feel free to give us our comments
and thoughts about how
this is gonna help your life with things you wanna take
and as always
let's take over the world together
right off track
until next time
and thank you so much for the
such a pleasure
thank you Anya
it was great being here thank you