A Game-Changing Mentorship Model for Students

Hey there, school counselor, welcome back to the School for School Counselors podcast. I'm Steph Johnson, a full-time school counselor, just like you, so excited that you've chosen to join me for another podcast episode, and this week you are going to hear such an inspiring story. I'm here to tell you, if you do not walk away from this feeling empowered, inspired and like you can make a true difference on your campus with even things that feel small at the beginning, then you haven't been listening closely enough, because this interview with my friend, Lydia Larimore, is going to be a game changer for you. I had the pleasure of speaking with Lydia over the holiday break, which now seems like a hundred years ago, doesn't it? But really it was only about six or seven weeks ago. So she answered an open call for podcast guests and as we were talking about this new initiative at her school, you know she kept saying man, I just, I really hope it lands the way it should land. We're seeing some tremendous growth. We're seeing some great numbers coming out of this. I just hope it continues. And it did. It sure continued. She was recently honored, along with her co-counselor, Allison Foltz, as a Virginia Department of Education Difference Maker for her region. That award goes to a school counselor or to a counseling team who make a true difference in the lives of the students they serve. So I'm going to let Lydia tell you all about her initiative in her own words and how she caught the eye of the Virginia Department of Education. But before she does that, I want to give her just a moment to introduce herself to you.

I'm Lydia Larimore. Today actually marks three years as a school counselor. I started during COVID. I activated my license during COVID, I worked at a title in school here in Northern Virginia, and the reason why I chose this demographic in this area is because I wanted to be the school counselor that I wish I had. I was a student, I had a counselor tell me that I would never be as successful as my brother, and that tore me to pieces. I let one person say something and it derailed me for a good two decades, as in my life, and I was about to give up my dream to become a school counselor until my husband said why, why would you stop? So in 2016, I went back to school, got my second master's in education, go counseling and didn't activate my license after I got licensed because I wanted to volunteer in as many schools as possible. But when COVID hit, I wasn't allowed to work with students unless I was employed and Prince William County was the only county that was hybrid at the time and fortunately, I was offered a position right away. Ever since then, I've just been loving that I get the freedom to make programs however I want to do, and because we're not fully accredited here. The one thing that was holding us back this year was attendance, and so I said game on.

I love Lydia's go-getter attitude, that can-do spirit that I'm sure serves her students well each and every day, and I think part of the reason that I love it so much is not just because it's great for students, but because I recognize it in so many of you. If you're listening to this podcast, I'm going to bet you have that same go-getter spirit too, and we need to make sure that we harness that power right, that we cultivate it to use it for the betterment of our schools and our communities. Lydia went on to talk about more of her background, how it informs her school counseling work today and they major hurdle she had to overcome. One of her passions is helping her students identify their own intrinsic power and how they can use their voices to not only elevate themselves but others around them.

Absolutely, because I have a background in logistics and I have a master's in business administration. I just took all the different tools that I picked up along the way and utilized it in this particular career. That's always been in my heart since I was a child. But I think, looking back now, I can think that school counselor is telling me that I would not be successful because it gave me a chance to grow up. It gave me a chance to see the world and it also gave me a chance to add more tools to my belt before I actually start working in this career, in knowing that I love it. Now that I teach a growth mindset too, it's how easily people have power over us by what they say or even what we say to ourselves. So I think when we learn the power that we have within ourselves and now that I get to teach it to other students like you hold the power your voice should be bigger. So I think once you find that power, that life up goes off.

Isn't this a neat story so far? I mean, if you just haven't fallen in love with Lydia so far, I don't know. I don't know what you need. It's amazing to hear how she was able to step into a new identity that she wasn't able to really see for herself before, and once she was able to do that, she was off to the races, making huge impacts for students.

And loving it every day, because I'm personally like well, what if I don't like it? What if she was right and what if I shouldn't be here? But coming into this with a different mindset, different perspective, different set of life experiences, because I'm a lot older now too, and I think having all of that come together in a way negative, positive, whatever it is does that be perfect. We just have to be here.

So now that you've heard part of Lydia's story and how she got where she is today, I know you're already super inspired by her determination, by her heart and by her spirit for her work. When we spoke, I asked her to tell me about the huge initiative that she had going on her campus at that moment. It was something she said she was super proud of and was starting to draw some attention in her neck of the woods. I asked her to tell everybody what it was all about, not knowing it was going to catalyze an award just a few weeks later.

It's taking off in some different ways. I had no idea that it would kick off like this. So back in September we realized that we needed to make a change to our school climate and culture. Not only a student should be at school, but also how can we empower students at our school. So I took that initiative and say, hey, I want to be accredited selfishly I do. I work with the upper class in the sure, and I wanted to give them the tools again, making them the driver in the driver's seat there and so encouraging the students to help other students, at the same time bringing students into school more so that we can get our test scores out, so that we can be accredited for attendance, and all this other good stuff is going to happen. And so in September I was sitting there, I was watching my kids. I have two boys in high school now and my youngest just started high school this year and he was so scared and so apprehensive he didn't want to go to school. And so my oldest one he's a mentor they call it ambassador at his high school and he said don't worry, mom, I got him and wasn't quite sure how that's going to look. But after a week of my oldest saying, no, I got him, I'll take care of him If I'm not there. He's got other mentors at their ambassadors at the school that can also show him the way or encourage him. So my oldest one, everything just like, checked in with him for just a few minutes. Everyone, hey, how are you doing today? What are your goals for today? What do you want to do today? And then, just seeing that, I was like, oh my gosh, it's like having a big brother and how can I harness that with my students at my school? So that's when the program came about watching their interaction and seeing my youngest one opening up more, wanting to go to school. Now it's like doing sports at school is crazy rough. And my oldest one feels I'm very empowered and you know I can do this as these cameras go off into the real world. But when I brought that initiative here, I literally had four days Like how can I do this before October, because October is our longest month, five weeks and they were also hitting the end of the quarter. And so, being my logistics mind again those different tools I've had before, through it all together collaborate with the teachers, got the mentors I needed, got the mentees that I needed by looking at their attendance, by looking at our chronic absentees and right by looking at all these different datas, pairing them up by Friday at a meeting. And the mentors mentees this is what it's all look like and it's how I presented to them. I said, you know, he mentors, I want to give you some leadership skills to work with kids K through a four and your goal is just to check on them, ask them how they're doing today and here's your tracking sheet for them and just mark that they're here. We're also a zone school so we do the four different zones language. So I said you know, ask them. What's the end of the end? Ask them do they need help or coping strategy? So it's a one minute check in every day. And they said, sure, I can do that. Then, with my mentees, I said you know, I need you to do a job. It's while your job is. When a mentor comes to checking with you. Your job is to ask them how are you doing? Practice your social skills and check in with them because they're checking with you, thank each other and then go about your business. So since that third October 2nd and the quarter was November 3rd, we went from 25% chronic absentee is the right last quarter, last school year, this quarter, this school year, quarter one we went down to 12.8.

Man. Think about the potential for change for these students and the way that they see themselves and what they believe they're capable of. Lydia's making huge impacts, not only for her students but for her community as a whole, through a program that, on the surface, seemed like a simple daily intervention.

I have a very empowering story. So we did round two after Thanksgiving and I had a student who moved away so he lost his mentee. My mentor lost a mentee and he wanted another student. Well, it kind of happened where I had another student who needed a mentor. He didn't have attendance issues, he just had some social issues. So I paired them up, had them meet and right away I felt tension. These two guys are bigger than me and they're staring each other down. I keep wondering what's going on. And I know where my mentor reached across and he said hey, dude, shake his hand. And he said we're good. He said I'm so sorry for what happened yesterday at recess. I didn't mean to make you mad, but can we be okay? And then he's like yeah, yeah, okay. He apologized and they did a fist bump and they went back to class. I'm walking with my mentor back and like what's going on? He's just going to be okay, I guess I'll fight. Like what's going on here? And he was like Miss Larmor, don't you worry about it. He's like I'm his mentor now I'm going to be better by him. That is just one of some of the examples that I've gotten so far in just a couple of months of pairing a mentor with a mentee, of how they just reach across their barriers, reach across the insecurities, reach across the anger they had before. I've had some of who are also in an after school club and I've paired them up. I forgot they were in my club together and instead of sighting in my club after school, like they're not in the deck, they actually want to help each other. Like they're like oh, it's cold outside, we're running outside here. I take my coat. I'm like, wow, what's going on here? Like, use my cheese mug, guys. They're just like we're going to do better, like we're going to walk the talk and then, like Miss Larmor, he always said about integrity, it's not integrity.

And you ever have imagined that checking in for one minute a day with selected students could make such a profound difference. It's super cool, right? I asked Lydia because I knew you were going to be wondering what are the logistics? How do you make this program roll on your campus? Where do you find the time for kids to make connections? How many kids are involved? And really, how does it all work?

I have all these folders that I create for every pairing and basically I can't be everything written out. They're prompt questions, also the data that they have to keep in there, have it all lined up. I can use the end of their lunchtime, so when they see it's 105, they see me up at the front of the stage waving my hand. They all come up, they grab their folder, they grab a pencil, walk out to check on their students and come right back in and then they lined up to go back to class. So it doesn't interrupt their academic times. It doesn't interrupt the other students' academic time. But a lot of it is behind the scenes of what I do Tracking the data and also creating the folders, doing the pairings, getting parent permission, of course. I like to do a debrief at the beginning. I just like to do this is what we're doing. This is how you interact with one another, laying that foundation, and then I don't make it difficult to make it as simple as possible. So one minute check-in. If a student says to you they want to talk about their boyfriend, girlfriend or whatever it is that they're on their mind, you just tell them. Very nicely, I'm so glad that you're here today. However, if you have anything else you want to talk about, I can refer you to our school chancellor.

As I heard Lydia talking about her program, I started wondering did she spend time coaching mentors on how to have these conversations? Was she teaching them how to politely decline some of the conversations or divert conversations to a different time or a different person? I assumed they got some help before they turned loose to mentor, but I wanted some more information.

Absolutely. We did it for both the mentors and the mentees, especially the mentee that likes to talk a lot, which also coached them on. This is not the time for you to unload on someone who's learned leadership skills. Your job is to practice your social skills with them, but not to inundate them. And that was a good learning experience for a couple of mentees who didn't have their social cues, and now they're reading those social cues a bit better. They're being more cognizant. Oh my gosh, I'm talking too much. Or, oh, I'm not practicing enough empathy. Someone's asked me how I am and I forgot to ask them how they are. Or someone's telling me they're sad. Do I just mark the folder and walk off, or do I actually ask them? Well, how can I help? It's been a huge one.

By this point in the conversation. I was sold on this style of intervention, but I wondered what happened once a mentor told their mentee they needed to refer them to the school counselor. What kinds of conversations followed that and what was the timeline for all of that? I was just trying to get an idea of how this could all come together to work smoothly.

When students come back with the folder, I ask them well, how's your mentee doing today? How was so and so doing today? And they'll say, well, it's Larry Moore, so is doing great today, or hey, so and so is stressed out today. They asked to see you today, or I think they're really sad, but I don't know what's going on. They don't want to talk about it, no worries, so by co-counseloring, depending on our grade level, I'll let her know. Hey, your fourth band right now is experiencing some kind of big feelings, not sure what's going on. Do you want to go check on them? So then we check on the mentees. So what they do? They come back and they have to report to us. Like, what's going on? If it's good, they just like, hey, we're good and they just gave it to me. And if it's something more than that, they definitely have to tell us. We don't just take the folders and run.

As school counselors, we are perpetually interested in the numbers, right. We are always thinking about how many we have on our caseload. How many does everybody else have on their caseload? If you're sitting there wondering how many students is Lydia serving, how is she able to make this all run? I just had to ask the same thing while we were talking.

We have over 600 students at our school. There are two counselors here, so I'm about a little over 300 students on my caseload this year. I'm first grade, third grade and fifth grade and that's why I'm able to work with the fifth graders this year. This is the first time they've ever had a mentorship program, so I'm excited to roll this out with them. Our first round of mentorship we had 24 mentors and 25 mentees, so I had one mentor who took it on two students. Round two I had so many students interested that we went up to three dozen. We had 36 mentors and 36 mentees. The first round was 24 school dates. Round two was eight-tone dates, so I gave them a chunk of time to do this and it's not forever. And then also mentors who may not want to get long-term can say hey, you know, I want to bow out for the next one. Or have other fifth graders who say, hey, you know, I want to do leadership skills. I want to know how I can talk to someone because I'm not really good about it. Is it absolutely? Let's go ahead and re-unbroke.

If you've been listening to Lydia's story carefully, you may have caught that she's a looping counselor. I asked her about her thoughts and impressions on looping with her students.

Yes, I am a looping counselor. I've been with the fifth grade groups since I was in second grade. I love looping because I get to see them grow up. I also get to advocate for them, because their teachers may not know their strengths, they may just see weaknesses in them. So I get to come in and say no, this is why you get to love them, this is why you should love them, this is why they're deserving of love. So, yeah, the best part of my job is standing up for my students. I love growing up with them so much and I think that's why our Mention Program is working this year is because I've loved them for so long. Because a couple of years ago, when I was a fifth grade counselor, I was still new in the position and we were coming out of COVID, but the behavior was skyrocketing. We were at 25, 30 percent chronic absenteeism. I couldn't reach them because I was still trying to get to know them, get to know what was going on. It was just me various at the time. But I think, having this group now building those relationships, seeing that we've come through so much together, I feel very grateful to have them trust me enough to go. Whatever your crazy ideas. This is where we'll run with you.

Isn't that fun. Lydia's passion for her work spills over not only to us but into her students. As she's pouring into them, they're getting excited, they're willing to step out of their comfort zones and they're willing to run with her. I think that's such a cool story. I was so inspired by everything that Lydia had to say, but I asked her one more question. I wanted to know, beyond the mentoring program, beyond slashing those chronic absentee rates, what are some things that she has going on on her campus that really makes her heart sing?

At the same time that I initiated the mentorship program, simultaneously I also threw together a Tier 1 attendance challenge, but it's a schoolwide challenge. In the month of October I had a golf theme, the acronym PGA. We changed it to a positive grade level attendance. It was grade level versus grade level, so I like to take patrons as a staff and then I Photoshopped them pulling golf clubs and really it was just I track every day. That was really hard because I have tracked every day grade level's absences. It's just what I can see, what the data looked like of Fritt and Center and in my hands. By doing that I got to see that we were about 95% in attendance every day, if not more. That was hard and it was fun because he just got to see and kids all just got to have it. This year I've been doing a lot of boards pretty much every board in the front hallway and that one kids just can actually see like, oh my gosh, my grade level is at this percent. Because every golf ball would show what the percentage was and if they made it into the whole first or not, or how far away were they from the other grade level. And they just tracked from day one until the last day. And then we gave out these little squishy golf balls that has our name and logo on there, so every kid in that grade level, and the teachers too, got one of these to take home. And then for our second round that we've started already. This time is called the Star because we're actually a star logo and it stands for Super Trail Attendance Race. So I made every grade level team a different winter sport.

Sounds like a lot of fun to be on that campus, doesn't it? It sounds like they're always up to something and it sounds like Lydia and her counseling team are always dreaming up stuff to try to get everybody buying in and investing in the goal, whatever that might be. And it's paying off not only for Lydia and her co-counselor as recipients of this Difference Maker Award, but also for students, for their parents and really in changing family trees, because as they continue improving these attendance rates, we know students' academic outcomes are going to be better. Hey, I hope you enjoyed this time hearing about Lydia Laramore and her initiative on her campus. I left the conversation feeling so inspired. I just wanted to run out and start my own program just like it, because I can see the potential on every single school campus there is. It reminds me a lot of a 2x10, if you've ever heard of one of those where one staff member makes a concerted effort to visit with the student for two minutes 10 days in a row, and we know that has tremendous impacts for student outcomes. It's building those relationships and having that one caring, trusted adult that they know they can rely on. This program takes it a step further through peer mentoring, where mentors are able to develop leadership skills, where mentees are getting the opportunity to practice social skills, to build relationships on campus with students they might not necessarily cross paths with otherwise and really start to feel empowered, feel like they can start a conversation and feel like they matter. That's important, isn't it? To feel like you matter each day that you arrive at school. I can't thank Lydia enough for sharing her story and I hope it touched your heart as much as it did mine. Keep listening. I'll be back soon with another episode of the School for School Counselors podcast. In the meantime, go back and check out some of the episodes you might have missed or, if you're feeling extra sassy, go leave us a review in Apple Podcasts. We would love to hear your thoughts on the podcast, to not only share them here with everyone, but to entice the algorithm to let other school counselors know about this resource. Alright, I hope you have the best week coming up. We're here, as always, if you need us. Check out our School for School Counselors Facement group. Keep fighting the good fight. Have the best week, take care.