Empathy

Welcome to Self Talk. I'm your host, Dr. Ray Self. This show is sponsored by the International College of Ministry at www.icm.org. We are enrolling right now; degrees in ministry, theology, counseling, and prophetic ministry, and praise and worship. Associate’s, bachelor's, master's, and doctoral programs. Check it out. Thank you for listing today. A very important show today, I'm going to talk about empathy. We're missing it, it's just not there. We need to talk about it and I hope this show will be a blessing to you. This is Dr. Ray Self and again, thank you for everyone who listens to the show. Be sure and check out the show website at icmcollege.org/selftalk. Love you so much for listening, I appreciate you. Be sure and share it with a friend. God bless you.

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All right, let's get started. First things first, let's pray. Heavenly Father, I thank you for the time together with my friends, for those who have downloaded this show. Father, I just pray that I can be a voice for you and that your Holy Spirit will come and, and bless me as I speak and bless those that are hearing. Let us receive what you want us to receive, know what you want us to know, and become all you want us to become. We pray this in Jesu’s name. Amen. Amen. I want to uh, talk to you again about love…but, a few weeks ago I did a story or podcast on compassion: where is compassion? Whatever happened to compassion? Well, I decided we should go a little bit deeper with that. And let me tell you what um, what caused this, what inspired me. So, I was doing a little weightlifting um, about a little over a week and a half ago, and apparently, I injured my shoulder pretty good, uh, lifting weights. I've been on an exercise program and for about over a year now, and I’ve done very, very well. This guy, I– you can't see me on this show, but I've actually lost over 63 lbs since uh, since January. Got, got in shape, feeling really good. 

So, but I hurt myself and I was in excruciating pain and I needed, I needed help. And so I was referred to an orthopedic place and uh, I won't give you the name of it but it's in Orlando, Florida. And so I go into the orthopedic place, the orthopedic doctor's office, and sit there and had to do a lot of paperwork…and, and I'll have, I'll have to say, the lady, the young lady behind the counter was very, very good. As a matter of fact, she would uh, walk from around the counter to come into the waiting room to get face to face just to talk to me about what they needed. And I could tell that this lady actually cared. She knew I was hurting and she knew that we needed this paperwork but she didn't want to have to call me forward to the counter, she would actually walk around the counter through a side door into the waiting room just to speak to me. That actually impressed me. So after a lot of paperwork and waiting, I finally get in to see the doctor. Now, the doctor comes in and um, I explain to him what happened and I'm really I'm, I'm in severe pain and I'm, I'm hurting. I could not– it was so bad I couldn't sleep the night before. Um, I could not even raise my left arm, um, I couldn't raise my left arm past my stomach. And anything– moving, walking, getting out of a chair, trying to sleep, anything I did was just extremely painful. 

So I was explaining this to the doctor and of course he…he had me do a few motions which hurt, he asked me a couple of questions, he was very professional and uh, he eventually said uh, “Let's get an x-ray. I'll have the technician come in.” He walked out very rapidly, technician came in, took me down the hall and they did a series of X-rays. And after a while of waiting, the doctor comes back in and says, “Okay, this is what I see right here. You've got this going on, you've got that going on, you've got this going on…” Matter of fact, it actually really was a multitude of things and um, I said, “Well, am I going to need surgery?” He goes, “No, uh, I think it's really a–” matter of fact, it's interesting, he said, “There's so much damage, I don't think surgery would help you. Uh, I'm going to give you a shot, I'm going to recommend you for physical therapy, and I'm going to give you some pain pills,” and he walks out. He walks out. Now, everything he did was correct, and by the way, I am feeling better after a few days, I have to admit that. But what was lacking here, I mean, he did everything by the book, he said everything correctly, he did his job, but there was no concern at all. Now, it's not that I, I need, you know, a lot of concern, but I keep thinking, here we go again. We're, we're missing compassion and empathy in our culture. We– he was doing his job. He, he did everything he was supposed to do. He, he said the right words, he wrote the right prescriptions, he took the right actions, but I, I left there thinking, you know, I was just another number for this guy. He didn't really care. I don't think he cared at all. I think he was just going– like it was almost mechanical. Like a, like a robot who's programmed and doing their job. Now, I'm a big boy, I can handle it; it's, it's not a huge issue, but as a Christian, I'm going, we can't do this, folks, we can't be so involved in doing the task that we forget to care about people. I left this office– and I'm a very discerning person – I did not believe that this doctor actually cared about me at all. I believed he was professional, I believe he was doing his job, I believe he was saying the right things, I think he wrote the right prescriptions, he gave me the right instructions, and, and thank you for that– and I'm grateful for that. I don't want you to think I'm not grateful for that. But I knew he really had no concern for me at all. 

And sometimes I think as Christians we may do the same thing. We may say the right things, we may do what we're supposed to do when we interact with other people. And maybe it's, you know, ministering to someone who's hurt or lonely or depressed or, or whatever, but do we care? Do we care? I mean, do we have any empathy for that? Let me, let me share a scripture with you, which I think points this out very, very clearly. In Isaiah 53, verse four, we have the prophecy, very accurate prophecy about Jesus and His crucifixion. And in verse four of the book of Isaiah, it says “Surely our griefs he himself bore–” “...our griefs he bore, our sorrows he carried; yet we ourselves esteemed him stricken and smitten of God and afflicted.” He carried…He carried upon– He took ‘em upon Himself. It wasn't like, “Okay, this is what I have to do so I’m going to do this because this is the loving, nice thing to do.” And sometimes as Christians, we will do the loving nice things to do, but do we care? According to this scripture, Jesus had empathy. He had– He was taking our burden upon Himself. Our griefs, our sickness, our shame, and all the stuff that was exchanged at the cross - He carried it upon Himself. That's empathy. Empathy is a deep form of love. 

See, love can be an action word. Now, was that doctor doing loving things for me? Well technically, yeah. He did his job. He, quote, did his job– he did the task correctly but there was no empathy, there was no concern, therefore, there was no real love. And it's– now, maybe a doctor, maybe he was not a Christian, okay. So be it. Now, did I have to have it? No, but it also– what hit me so strongly was I think this is all over the Christian culture. I think we, we do the right things, we say the right things, we do the right motions…we may go feed the homeless, we may go feed the poor, okay, but do we care? Do we take the burden upon ourselves? 

You know um, just the other day there was a guy standing on the in the street down here in Orlando - we get a lot of guys standing in the street at stop lights, you know, and they have, you know, and they have a piece of cardboard: homeless, hungry, all this kind of stuff. And there was this guy and I felt compassion for him, I felt empathy for him and I gave him some money. Now, people go, “Oh, don't give them money,” you know, “they're going to go buy alcohol.” I don't know what he's going to do with the money, I mean, I don't know, but it, it touched my heart. And I think as Christians we're called to have empathy. Empathy is when you're able to feel the other person's burdens and help share that burden. Galatians 62 says bear one another's burdens and therefore fulfill the law of Christ. Do what? Bear one another's burdens. That's empathy. You see, love is kindness and love is doing the correct thing. I don't think it's enough, I think, without compassion. And then the next level empathy, love is not enough.

See, compassion is “I'm concerned about you,” empathy is, “I share your burden, I feel what you're feeling.” I know it's not always easy, but empathy is a deep form of love and compassion and I see it missing. And, it’s disguised because it looks like we're preaching the right thing, we're singing the right praise and worship songs, okay? We're giving our tithes and offerings, we're doing all this good stuff, but do we have empathy for people who are hurting? Do we care on a deep level for people that are hurting? Or, I mean, maybe you know - and I've been guilty, I've been guilty. I do a lot of praying for people, especially at the, at the, what we call the altar, you know after service people– the end of service people come forward for prayer. And people come up to me with all kinds of burdens and I pray for the Lord to help them, the Holy Spirit to touch them and to heal them. And I've got to be careful because sometimes I don't have the empathy but if I'm going to bear another person's burdens just like Jesus bore my burden, I need empathy. And it may be something– if you're listening to me and you say, “Well, yeah, I'm guilty of this,” um, maybe we need to pray, “Lord, help us to feel– help us to feel deeply more than just love and doing the right things, but to have compassion and empathy.” I, I think you could call it three levels. Level one is love, level two is compassion, level three is empathy, I feel– I care– love…love, I'm doing the right thing. Compassion, I care about you. Empathy, I feel. I feel for you. I feel for you, I literally do. And I think that's what Paul was talking about, bear one another's burdens and fulfill the law of Christ. That's, that's a– that's a, that's a meaty statement: “Bear one another's burdens and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.” That's what Christ wants us to do, He wants us to bear each other's burdens, and that's empathy, that's sharing the burden. Sharing the burden. And I need help doing that, you need help doing that. 

We've got to go– we've got to get better with love, we've got to get better than just doing the right thing, saying the right thing, making– doing the right task. You know, doing what we're supposed to do. That doctor, he did what he's supposed to do, but he didn't care, I didn't feel like he had any real concern for me. Now, I didn't need that doctor's concern, what I needed was for him to tell me how to get out of the, you know, fix my shoulder, okay? I'm praying for it, I'm believing God's going to heal it too. I needed that from him, but he taught me a lesson. I'm going, wow, there's no empathy with this guy, there's no empathy with a lot of people, there's no empathy with a lot of Christians and we have no excuse. We have no excuse. This is something that we can pray for, we can ask God for. We can say, “God, help me to be empathetic to those that are hurting and suffering.” Jesus felt what we felt. Jesus felt our sin, He felt the weight of our sin, He felt the weight of our disease, He felt the weight of our shame and iniquity, He felt it, He took it, He took that burden, He felt it, He felt for us. Jesus felt for us, He had empathy for us, that's why you see in scripture multiple times it said Jesus was moved by compassion. I think it's an area as Christians that many of us including the church need to grow in. And I'm going to say this again, I'm going to say this strongly: just doing something is not enough. Do you care? Do you have empathy for those you're doing it for? “Well, I, I fed them, I gave them scripture, I counseled them, I prayed for them,” I'm telling you right now, it's not enough. It's not enough. “I gave him some money,” it's not enough, it's not enough. We need to have empathy, real, true, deep-level concern, and love– the love that Jesus had for us when He took our burdens, He took our iniquities, He took our shame, He took our condemnation, He felt it all. That's why He cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” He was– He took that too. We were forsaken by God because of our sin, and He took that– He took it all. I– He felt it, He felt it deeply. Why? Because He loved. 

So love is an action word, that's true. Faith without works is dead. But I'm telling you, love without compassion and empathy is a hollow form of love. Now, you may agree with me, you may disagree with me, but we need more empathy. Let me pray for you, okay? Heavenly Father, I thank you for those listening to me, and maybe, Father, that those listening to this podcast are convicted right now, “Lord, I, I need, I need to care more. I need that empathy. I need compassion, empathy like Jesus had. I know it's not an easy thing, Father, but Lord, people need to feel cared for so Lord, help me with that. Give me opportunity and, and give me the anointing and the grace to do it, Father.” To have the empathy like Jesus, Father.” Lord, I ask you to touch. Holy Spirit, touch each person listening to this now, in Jesus’ name, each person listening to this podcast, Father, in Jesus’ name. Touch them, Holy Spirit. Help them, Holy Spirit. And, and I pray, Father, nobody will feel condemned or guilty because of this - there's no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus - but just maybe a conviction that we can do better with the help of the Holy Spirit. Amen, amen.

So what I'm saying is, just wrapping up, is empathy is a very deep form of love. It is being able to feel and share the burden of those around us. And you know what, folks? We need this. People need empathy. It's not just a commandment for us to give, it is something that those around us desperately need. Now, when I saw that doctor, he gave me no empathy but I tell you what, if he had shown empathy to me, I would have never forgotten him. And you think back in the history in your life…in your life history, people who have shown you true empathy, I bet you you remember them. I bet you they have a special place in your heart that you have never let go. Let's do better. Let's work on it with the help of the Holy Spirit, amen. Amen. God bless you, this is Dr. Ray Self.

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Well, that did it. We just completed my 178th episode of Self Talk with me, Dr. Ray Self. Thank you for being a part of today's show. Hey, please be sure and share this with people. Let's get some more downloads, let's get some more people hearing the show. And my goal is not to do anything but bless people, let people hear the truth of the gospel, the truth of Jesus Christ. And maybe…maybe this show can, can bless more and more and more…that's what I want, that's what I want, amen. Um, if you feel led to donate to help us out, that'd be great, icmcollege.org/donate. We all always appreciate that but even if you don't, you know what? I'm just glad you were here. I'm glad you're a part of the show and I just pray that the Holy Spirit will bless you. And please, don't be…don't get convicted, uh, or condemned. I mean, you might get convicted about empathy, don't ever feel condemned or shamed. Jesus took that to the cross, there's no condemnation, there's no shame. But conviction means God's trying to get you to make a change and He will always help you do that, okay? Amen. Thanks again for listening to Self Talk with me, Dr. Ray Self. Amen, amen. Hallelujah.