The Need to be Known

Hey, welcome to Self Talk. I'm your host, Dr. Ray Self. Thanks for listening to the show and be sure guys and share this and tell your friends about it. Download it and all that cool stuff. Today I'm talking about being known, being fully understood, having your heart seen and your heart, and your heart known because God knows you and it's important for us to be known and to be appreciated. It's a very basic human need and it's something that gets really messed up and confused so many times; so let's, let's talk about this today. It's a very important scripture concerning this in First Corinthians 13:12 “For now we see in the mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.” Are you understood? Do you want to be known? Do you feel you are known? To be known and been understood is a basic human need that so many times is confused and neglected. Anyway, let's talk about it in today's show. Thank you for being with me on Self Talk with Dr. Ray Self.

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All right, here we are again. Self Talk with Dr. Ray Self. Can you believe it, episode 133. So today is going to be a very special episode. I'm just- I want to talk to my listeners. You guys have been faithful with me for so long. I may take a break from podcasting for just a little bit to concentrate on some other things but I want you to understand there are 133 shows already uploaded and you can check out my shows on our podcast website which is at icmcollege.org/selftalk and that has all the shows. You can make comments, you can email me, you can get on our list, you can share, you can review, uh, there's a store. You can also support us which would really help a lot. Anyway, thank you for being a part of the show. Thank you so much for uh, for listening. I pray that through all these 133 episodes that somehow, someway, I've been able to impact your life for the better.

So this scripture that I read in the intro from Corinthians has always bothered me a little bit because it's, it's kind of a confusing scripture. But let's look at it again, First Corinthians 13:12. “For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part but, then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.” What I want to focus on, I believe he's just talking about end times when Jesus is coming back, but what I want to focus on when he said as I also have been fully known. You see, God sees us; God sees you. He sees you, He sees your heart, He sees who you are. A matter of fact, it's kind of a silly thing, but I was watching that uh, Avatar movie, and one of the things Avatar, the Avatar people, or the characters, say to each other when they're speaking love to each other, they go, “I see you; I see you.” And you see, God says I see you. God knows us he knows us intimately. 

Now, some people are comfortable with being fully revealed, other people are not. Many people hide a lot of parts of their life to operate in our culture, to operate in our society, to operate within our church, our job, within our friends. Sometimes we, we keep things packed away. We're not completely fully known because it's almost not practical. I don't need everybody to know everything that's going on inside my heart, I don't need everybody to fully understand everything about me. I mean, it's nice if people appreciate me, it's nice that people love me, but God knows everything about my heart. He knows my discouragements, He knows my, what makes me happy. He knows what hurts me, He knows what's good for me, He knows who I am, He knows how I tick. And sometimes, honestly, it can be a little unsettling because you know, I'm a human being; not everything in me is perfect, not everything in you is perfect. But God fully knows us. 

Truthfully, we need people in our lives that know us, to understand us. There is an innate desire I believe created within all of us to be known, especially by your spouse or maybe your best friend or it could, could be your parents; but to be understood, to be known, to be appreciated. Because not only- let me, let me rephrase that. To be known and to be appreciated for who you really are; to see your heart. So many times in the world, I've noticed in speaking just with friends and sometimes even with, with my wife you know, I say things and they get misinterpreted. You ever had that? We've talked about that in one show, about the spirit of Leviathan which is a spirit that twists our words, things get twisted, but sometimes it's difficult to get our words to match up with our heart, if you understand what I'm saying. In other words, I have this stuff going on in my heart, these feelings, these emotions, these ideas, these, these pictures in my heart that really fully represents me. But expressing that and letting that come out in the English language where other people can understand is not always easy and some people are better at it than others. I think I'm actually pretty good at it but sometimes I'm shy about it. It's not that I don't understand what's going on within me, I'm just a little shy about revealing what's going on within me. And then there's another thing to think about, another aspect to consider. Not everybody, not everybody you come across are safe people and so to reveal yourself to an unsafe person is not wise. But we need safe people in our lives that we can reveal ourselves to.

So we can be as the Bible says, fully known. We're built for relationship, we are built for connection. And true connection takes place when we are known. When a person understands me or understands you, you're talking to someone and you know, wow, they really get it. And sometimes getting it is a lot more than the words coming out of your mouth. It's seeing what's beneath the lies, it's reading between the lines, it's seeing what's in your heart. In other words, you say one thing but you're revealing so much more from your heart. And not everyone, and not everyone can see it. A lot of people just cannot understand it but we have a need to be understood. Now, let me tell you something. If you're married - a little tip about marriage - especially if you are the female in the marriage, okay, the wife of the marriage, the men have an especially deep-seated desire to be understood. It's one of the primary needs of a man. So I can tell you this, when it, when there is a conflict in a relationship, most men, what they really want is to be understood. It's not that I want to be- a man wants to be proven right or proven correct, what the man really wants is to be, know that the person he loves, the person that he's married to, understands him and values him.

You see, folks, listen to me. We can understand and we can value and know people without agreeing with them. Just because you understand doesn't mean you agree. But I want to be understood, I don't want to be misunderstood. It's incredibly frustrating to me when I know that I'm talking but, but my audience or the person I'm talking to does not understand me. As a preacher, when I'm preaching a sermon I want this sermon to be understood. I want them to really get the message. And sometimes coming up and packaging the words in a correct manner where the message can be fully understood is, is difficult. But, you need, you listen to me. Whoever's listening to me now, you also have a need to be understood; to be fully known. That is a need. See, God wants to know us. And He does know us, okay, but He also wants us to fully know Him. And that's our job is to get to know Him. God knows you. He knows your intentions, He knows your heart, He knows who you are. He created you, He knows you inside and out. Now you may be trying to hide things from God but you know that's not working so well. He does want you to confess things but He's not wanting you to conf- He doesn't want you to confess something because He doesn't know about it, that's just His principle. If you confess it, He's willing to forgive it. That's His principle. He already knows it but you have to confess it.

But to be known who are you really? Who are you inside? What, what really makes you tick, what are you really feeling? What… And not only do you need to be known, but you need to know that you are being valued and respected and appreciated, and loved for who you are. That is a human need; that is something we all need especially in intimate relationships. It'd be, it's also good, this principle applies to friendships and it applies to families. Now you're not going to be fully known by your boss, you may not be fully known by your coach or your teacher or the cashier at Walmart, I can promise you that. But to desire to be known, the need to be known and appreciated and valued unconditionally is, is innate within us. And that key word is unconditional.

See, another thing the society which is- our society has a lot of perversions, I guess you've kind of recognized that- is that our society gives value conditionally; gives appreciation conditionally; gives love conditionally; gives appreciation or value or uh, worth, under conditions. But you see, you are worthy, you are lovable, you matter, you count, your opinion matters; your thoughts matter; your frustrations matter; your desires matter; your ideas matter, your, your feelings matter, your dreams matter. And it's important not only that you're valued, but you are known and valued. We need to be known and I believe Satan does not want us to be known. I believe the devil wants to keep us hidden away because the truth is when you become fully known, one of the truths is you're a child of God carrying His authority. That is powerful folks, that is extremely powerful.

To be fully known, I believe, is something that's built within us. That desire to be fully known. I believe there have been forces, mostly demonic forces and sometimes just the forces of society and culture, that work against us to keep us from being fully known. How many times in your life have you been completely misunderstood? And how painful is that? How many times have you been accused of something that was completely untrue because they don't really know who you are? If they only knew who you are, they could not make that accusation. If they only valued who you are, there's no way they could make that accusation. But they don't know who you are. They don't know your heart, they don't know who you really are inside, who the- what your true God-given DNA is. And that is a desire that we all have. But in Corinthians 13:12, the last part of that scripture, “just as I also have been fully known.” I have been fully known, you have been fully known by God because God knows we need to be known.

We, we need people, especially God, but we even in addition to God we need people to under- who understand us, who get how we tick, who really, really understand us at a deep level and appreciate us. Now, there may be just very few people in a lifetime. They can, can reach that level. Hopefully, if you're married it's your spouse. Maybe it's your best friend, maybe you got one or two best friends who really get you. Hang on to them because they're jewels. Think back in your life who really understood you, how important was that person that really understood you? I think in my life has only been just a small handful of people who fully understood me and looking back - now I'm 72 years old - but looking back, man I value those people, man I value those people. And I want to tell you something. I can tell you right now there's so many people in the ministry, um, you know, I travel, I speak a lot, I do a lot of social media stuff, I'm kind of all over the place. And most of the people that know me don't really know me. They know of me, they've heard me speak, they've, they've heard me teach, they've heard me pre- they've heard me prophesy. But they don't really fully know me; and, and I need people in my life that fully know me, and you need people in your life that fully know you. You have God and that's, then that's great and God wants you to fully know Him. But I want to pray right now through this podcast that you will be fully known by the right people, by safe people. That you'll find those people in your life who really get you unconditionally and know who you are and know how you tick because it's critical. We need this, we need that. You need this. It's critical to your health, to your well-being, to, to your, to your relationships. Amen, amen, amen.

You know, this show's not gonna be long. Again, I'm thinking about taking a little seasonal break here and I appreciate you uh, especially if you can help me financially. This podcast has been very expensive and has not paid for itself um, and it is expensive to do so if you can help us financially, go to icmcollege.org/donate. That would be great. Another thing which is on, on my heart, I know there's people listening to me right now that God has called you to the ministry. You, you know God's called you to the ministry and if God's called you to something, you have a responsibility and a need to get equipped, to get trained, and that's what we do at International College of Ministry. We train you for the ministry and we give you a legitimate, accredited bachelor's degree or maybe even a master's degree or all the way to a doctorate degree in counseling, ministry or theology; or even the prophetic. And we have a new, we have a new degree coming out in praise and worship. If you have a call of God on your life, I think in my heart we have a responsibility to be trained for that call. Go to icmcollege.org/enroll. Check it out folks, check it out. I love you; let's pray.

Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ, I thank You for each person listening to this podcast. I pray, Father, and I thank You, Father, that You fully know us. You know all of us, You know us, Father. You know our hearts, You know our success, You know our failure, you know our good points, our weak points; You know us, Father. Lord, help us to know You. Lord, help us to become more intimate with You but Father, I pray that You will send divine connections into the lives of those listening. There's people listening here that just don't have those connections where they feel fully known, and send those connections, Father. Send the right people that can fully understand and know us, Father. The right relationship. And Lord, those of us who are hiding out and afraid to be known. Father, I thank You we're fearfully and wonderfully made, and Father, I rebuke the schemes of the enemy. I ask for healing right now to come on everyone listening to me that is afraid to open up, that have closed down their heart because of abuse or because of hurt or wounds, Father. I pray, Father, for healing of the wounded heart, Father, where we can all open up, Father, and be known and have those healthy relationships with people who unconditionally love and appreciate and value us. Connect us with those people, Father. Let us not be afraid anymore, Father, of being fully known because that's what your scripture said. You fully know us, Father. Lord, help us to connect to people who fully know us. And I rebuke every scheme of the enemy that has stopped us, that has attacked us, that has hindered us, that has tried to obstruct us from these healthy relationships you've called us to be in. We rebuke those schemes and we claim the name and the power and the authority of Jesus Christ over everyone listening to me that we have those people and we will have those people in our lives who fully understand and know us and we will not be afraid to be known because God already knows us anyway. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen, amen. Thank you so much for listening to Self Talk with Dr. Ray Self. God bless you, thank you. 

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Hey, thanks again for listening to Self Talk with Dr. Ray Self. This is me, Dr. Ray Self. You know folks, we've finished 133 episodes. Thanks so much to Charisma Magazine and Charisma Media. That's been uh, the network we've been a part of that's been such a wonderful ride. We may take a, a seasonal break here for a little while but in the meantime it really would help us if you would review this show on our website, icmcollege.org/selftalk. Give us review, share this show with people. The more downloads we have, the more people we can reach with this message of hope and that message of healing, um, and, and touch people for, for Christ. You know, I really appreciate you. Don't forget there's a lot of free offers on our website at icmcollege.org. Also, if you are called to the ministry, you need to enroll today. I'll tell you what I'll do. If you mention in your application, put down Self Talk with Dr. Ray Self. Just put it down under your education there's a little section of the application that says Self Talk with Dr. Ray Self. If you'll put that under previous education on your application, I'll give you a $300 Grant, $300 Grant towards your, towards your tuition, okay? We'll give it to- all you have to do is put in the comments under previous education Self Talk with Dr. Ray Self. You apply by going to icmcollege.org/enroll. Accredited degrees in ministry, theology, Christian counseling, and prophetic ministry. I love you much thank you so much for all the people that have sponsored our show, donated to our show, those that have bought my books, have bought our products, our t-shirts, and all that stuff; that's been wonderful. I thank you so much. I hope this show has been a blessing to you and just stay tuned, we'll be back but right now I think we're going to take a little seasonal break and uh, this is Dr. Ray Self and again, I love you much and the blessings and the power and the authority and the favor of Jesus Christ be upon all of you. Amen.