How to Align Personal Health and Business Success as a Chronically Ill Entrepreneur with Teresa Heath-Wareing

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 0:00

It all comes down to a mindset. I can give you the best marketing strategies in the world, and if you don't want to do it, or if you're scared, or if you don't think you are the right person for it you have imposter syndrome then you're not going to do it.

Nikita Williams: 0:14

Welcome to Crafted to Thrive, the globally ranked podcast for entrepreneurs living with chronic illness. I'm your host, Nikita Williams, and after being diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses myself, I figured out the surprisingly simple missing links to growing a profitable business without compromising my health. Since then, I've helped dozens of women just like you learn how to do the same. If you're ready to own your story and create a thriving business that aligns with your health and well-being, you're in the right place. Together, we're shifting the narrative of what's possible for entrepreneurs with chronic illness. This is Crafted to Thrive. I am so excited to have Theresa on the show. I recently got to meet her and chat with her and it's been such an honor. So please tell us who you are, what you do, where you're from.

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 1:14

Thank you so much for having me on, and you're right, we got on a conversation and we were like we need to continue this somewhere, so I am so grateful that you've had me on the podcast. So, as you already said, I'm Theresa Heath Waring and I am based over in the UK. I'm kind of in the middle of England, and I work online with business owners not specifically online business owners which predominantly tend to be female, just because I tend to attract more of a female audience and I help them to create a life and business that they dream of, which, whenever I say that always makes me feel a little bit like you is that spammy, horrible stuff? And it really isn't. It's about getting them to understand what is important with them, what's important to their world, what season of life they are in and therefore, what business do they want right now that's going to fit with them, and I do this through various different ways. I have a membership, I have a small group coaching program and then I have one-to-one work where we do all sorts of different things around marketing. That's my background and then business, and then in the last sort of five years, I've really got into mindfulness and mindset work and coaching. So now I focus a lot around that because, like you will probably know, it all comes down to a mindset I can give you the best marketing strategies in the world and if you don't want to do it, or if you're scared, or if you don't think you are the right person for it you have imposter syndrome then you're not going to do it. So for me, I found out that's going to say quickly. I didn't find out quickly. It took me a while to work so I actually, mindset was so important, and that's what I do with my amazing members.

Nikita Williams: 2:55

It is. You're so right about that and I love that it's not cheeky sounding like at all, because I used to say that all the time too, I'm like because it's important. I know there are people out there that feel like this has to be like so straight and narrow and professional and like a very particular way it needs to look and feel. But for women, I feel like it's very different. It's very different. It kind of needs to have that part that tugs at our heart and our soul and like what we love to do, and so definitely building something you love is so important, I think, as women for sure.

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 3:36

I think so and I think when we look at, maybe, people who when, especially when I first got into the industry, it was mostly males, it was all males saying this is how you should live your business, this is how you should live your life, this is what you should do, and it's like run a home with children and have to do all those other things. And also, as women, we are different. We aren't so confident in ourselves or most of us aren't we aren't so kind of. We just don't have the same traits. So for me it was. It took me a long time to go. Oh, hang on a minute. You're telling me what to do and yet you don't know my life one second of it. Like you can't even start to relate, and that's the other thing. Just because I'm a mom and a stepmom and a dogmom and all those other things doesn't mean I can. I can tell someone else what to do in their business. Someone asked me earlier today. I was being interviewed earlier and they said could you give me a best sales strategy? And I think I'm really annoyed them because I was like my best sales strategy for me because I know me and how I work is I can't say that's going to work for everyone else because, everyone's different. So, and I think there's not enough of that, I think there's too much of the here's the broad brush, here's the everyone do this, everyone show up this way, everyone do this thing, everyone have this type of business. And there you go, you'll be a success. And if you don't, if you're not a success, that's your own fault. That's nothing to do with me and my way and like, and therefore you're made to feel like the failure, when of course, that isn't going to work for you because you might not want to work like that, you might not even want that business. So I think getting really clear on who you are and what you want in a business is so very important. And then not apologizing for it and I think this is another thing. Like I've got a lovely member who's in my small group coaching and she has flown in this last 12 months Like she is like my poster child, but she was told by another coach a long while ago you're not charging enough and by this stage in your business you should be earning more money, you should be bringing in more money. And she has two young children and she's like I want to do the school run and I want to be able to take weeks off in summer and I want to be able to take the whole Christmas off and I want to do this and I know, and she knows, that, yeah, we could. She has, by the way, increased her income, which is wonderful, but you know, we know she could probably increase it double again if she was happy to work all the hours that God sends and not see her kids, but she doesn't want to do that. So again, it's getting clear on what she wants and going right that you're earning this amount of money, great that you've got this life balance. Like people can't full-time job, people can't earn what you're earning, working effectively school hours, like so go you, you are crazy successful, but in someone else's eyes, they don't see that.

Nikita Williams: 6:31

So important and obviously y'all know why I said yeah, it's for Theresa being on the show. We're so in alignment with this. It's I mean, to the point like that, a poor part of what I do with my clients. It's the same thing we first discover what is the real you, what is the vision Like? Because your vision means it's a different path, it's a different journey, just like you were saying, and it's not going to look the same. There might be bits and pieces. I like to tell people it's like bits and pieces you might take from other people's journey, but it has to be intentional for you and I love that you are doing that with other women and showing them how to do that in a way that feels good to them. And when we talked initially, one of the things that I really connected with you on was the fact that how we live, specifically for women living with chronic illness, affects what our vision is going to look like, how we are going to do that. So has that been a part of your personal journey in building what you're building today?

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 7:33

Yeah, it has to be. I think, when we think about, especially if you're living with a chronic illness like what could your life look like if you didn't have your own business? Like how difficult might it be to be in a job? And again, right, someone might be sat there going well, your business isn't successful because you don't earn X amount money. No, but if I don't feel great, if I need to suddenly disappear off the face of the earth for two, three days, I can do that. Now, how flipping amazing is that? And yet people don't see that, they don't think about that. But I think it took me a really long while to get clear on who I was and what I wanted. And actually, yeah, I had a great conversation with my coach where she was saying to me it was like I started off and I'm over here Okay, I'm over on the left-hand side because this side is what everyone else did. So I look at what everyone else does and like, right, that's what I need to succeed. So I literally take them like a manual and I follow the instructions and the rules and I do all the thing and then I'm about like a Year or so in and I go what am I doing? These aren't even my values, these aren't even. And I started to realize that some of the things I was teaching I didn't like and it was not in line with me. It felt yucky and horrible. So then I Literally flipped over to the other side and then, over here on the right-hand side, I did the complete opposite. So that wasn't right either, because, like, it was like okay, yeah, I don't want to do that, but I'm still not sure what I should be doing or how I should be showing up. So I'm gonna completely flip over to the right-hand side, where I'll just do the complete opposite. And she said it's like you're playing golf. She goes it's like you're taking a swing and someone's taught you how to swing, but that doesn't work for you. So you've literally spun around and now you're trying to hit it the wrong way, wrong in of the golf. Yeah, yeah, like, literally. She's like well, I don't want to do it, that I'm gonna do the complete opposite. She's not working either. So it took me a long while to go Okay, let's and it's hard to like ignore all the external stuff, like, but what is it that I want to do? How do I want to show up and it changes and, like I said, the season of life thing is so important and you know I'm gonna keep saying for women, but it really is for women. When I started my business, I was a single mom of a four-year-old. Like that is a very different world to the world I'm in today as a mom of a 12, nearly 13 year old. Oh my gosh, girls, it's just like that is a whole nother podcast and it's up and yeah, like and being a stepmom and being remarried, and so I'm changed. Like the time I can commit has changed. You know, like I'm very lucky I get to travel and that's one of the things I love the most. But I can now because my daughter spends half a time with her dad and half time with me, like. So it's gotta come down to you and personally you and how you feel and what's going on in your life. And I think it needs to. For me, it needed someone else to go. Okay, well, what is important to you? And I think that's hope through what we do for the people we work with, we give them that space to sit and talk about. Or why is this important? Because otherwise you end up creating something you hate, and Then that ego of ours goes. Well, I can't give it up, though, because what people think? They'll think I failed and they'll think I did, and it's like yeah, but what was like? If someone takes a job and then goes, I don't like this job and goes and does another job, no one goes. Oh, what have you done? Like, but somehow we feel like we get stuck in our business and we're like, yeah, no, I'm stuck here now. I've created this monster for myself and I've got to keep doing it, but we absolutely don't have to.

Nikita Williams: 11:07

Yeah, and that's the power. Right like that's the power, I think we we forget that is actually one of the powerful tools in our Wheelhouse of being our own business owners is that we can look at it today and decide, you know what? No, like this, it's not what it is. We need to put this on its head, or whatever we need to do in order to make it work for us. So I love that you shared that. What has been some like personal challenges for you through this journey of building your business, that that someone who's listening could be like oh my gosh, I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one experiencing this, and how has that informed how you continue to grow?

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 11:50

I love that question. That's a great one. So For me, I think one of the biggest problems was I looked at other people. Not only did I let them inform what I wanted, but I took their success and I measured myself against it, and I Don't think there are enough people in this world, in the business world in general, who are honest about how hard it is and what it takes. So for me, that doubt and I never wanted to be a business owner I never, ever, like I wasn't one of those people that, like at school, started selling something or like it never appeared in my radar until, literally, I handed my notice in and a job. I was a single parent, I needed to earn money and I couldn't find another job and I just thought what if I can do this for myself, because I've been doing it for years, I've worked in marketing forever. So For me, I looked at other people and thought, okay, that's the way you know, they're really successful, they're doing this and therefore, every time something didn't go as planned which always happens to everyone at every point there is not a single business owner out there who was literally just like breezing through this journey but because no one talked about it and therefore I felt like I'm getting this wrong or I'm not a real business. I hear that a lot. You know, I'm just playing at this thing. I think the other thing when I got started was I didn't have anybody like, I Didn't have that community, I didn't have those people I didn't have. I was surrounded by people who are employed. I was surrounded by my family who thought I was mad, mad and probably still do to this day, like and they'll talk about the business, like oh, how's it going? And and like as if it's this some little silly thing type, whatever. And it was funny. The other day I felt like a bit of an idiot actually. My sister messaged me saying my auntie's birthday is coming soon. Can you send a video message, right? Well, she literally lives like 30, 40 minutes away from me, so I find that a bit weird, why I've got some video message. Anyway, I was getting really busy, didn't have time to do it. Got to Athens where I was doing a talk and thought, oh, I haven't done this video message my sister going is it too late? She's like no, you've got to do it today, though I'm sad at this place, right? Do I work with my microphone. I think I'm a daughter or something for doing this thing. You're like, hey, have an amazing birthday. Sorry, I'm just hearing Athens Send it to my sister when, if it's ridiculous, don't send it, and she's like, no, it's fine, but like that, you know, no one gets what you're doing. And also some of the people who love us the most, they're the worst, like. It's so true, but it's so true really don't mean to be, but they think they're being kind. Like my husband will say to me I'm, you work too hard. I didn't set my desk to 11 o'clock this morning. I'm gonna show him, I'm all right, like, don't know me, and He'll see me because, like you know, I, we do it live later on, so it's in the evening. So are you working? Yeah, I'm not working too hard and I get to do something I love. So even the ones who think they're trying to be kind by going are you sure you don't want to get a job? No, I don't want a job, thank you, but you could probably earn more money. It's better in the early days, yeah, but I would hate it. So, I think, being alone and then being alone and seeing these other people. So I think what I'm trying to do in my world is I'm really honest, like and sometimes I I worry that I may be too honest and maybe like people are like God, this running your business is doom and gloom. Like it's awful and it's really not, it's amazing, I love it. But like I put a new product out there and I put it at a lower price because I was constantly being told you're too expensive and no one bought it. So I left it a few months and then I closed it down. And then I wrote an email to my list going I've just closed this down and this is why because it didn't work. I was trying to do this. It didn't work right, so I've stopped it, and the amount of people who come back to me and I thank you, theresa really appreciate you saying that. I just sent out an email today because I've been Getting more in a line with stuff. I've just up to my prices, or my prices are up and at the end of this week and they are more than doubling like and I sent Out an email today and the title was how can I justify putting my prices up? And you know what it's that in the email and it sounds really arrogant and I'm really not like this. I put I don't have to. I don't have to justify it, neither do you. It's your business. You get to do what the hell you want with your business. And Actually now I feel way more aligned with my pricing and it feels great, whereas I was trying to meet and be and do and everything to everyone else, and now I've gone. No, this is where I'm at, this is what I'm worth, and I don't have to to justify that to anybody, because I, I remember it's this. I get to make the decisions. So I think for me, finding that community early on and finding those people who go, yes, I I guess perceived by you as are successful, but it's not as easy breezy as people think, and even when you reach this level of having a team or Getting flown out to like do things, there are always things that are going to come and scare the living day, like that, yeah, and it's about being honest about it, or I think it is.

Nikita Williams: 17:13

I think that's a really powerful point. I think I know you're 100% right about the information and what's out there about what the ups and downs of business looks like. I mean, some people talk about it but it's like a blip, like if you can see my finger, it's like a blip today. It's not anything you're thinking. Oh yeah.

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 17:36

I just wanted to say, because I felt the sentiment OK now, and all this money came flowing in.

Nikita Williams: 17:40

Yeah, right, yeah, nobody's talking about the time you were sitting under your table crying, or in the closet or looking at your business thinking why am I doing this? Should I throw this out? Why did I start this? We have those moments and it's always interesting when I interview other women, when I ask them sometimes what has been some challenges, and they're like it's like that wasn't really a challenge. That sounds very certain. It sounds like a way to appear as if you don't have downs and everyone does. And I think it's so important, like you said, that we normalize that business is not always going up Like we see all of the time, especially I know with your marketing background, that if you look at these, even big corporations, they're not seeing all the ways going up, like in their stats and all that they're having down moments, up moments Like. Think about the stock market. Y'all Like how often is that thing going off the chain.

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 18:38

It's a great example, and you're right, and also as a side note to that which is so good, it doesn't always have to be either. Like people always talk about growing, getting to the next level, expanding. Again, if you know you and if I know my audience and my members, one of the things to do in small group coaching is we goal set. We obviously, every quarter, we have a goal. We have three goals in which they go for, and some of them the goals are like I need to earn this or I want to grow this or want this. And the one when we came on, I was just like my goals are really dull, like they're really boring admin goals, and it's like but actually you are in a great place at the moment. You have grown your business to the point you need to grow it, and now you want to put some systems in place, or now you want to get consistent with this. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with going. Do you know what? I'm good? Where I am right now. I just want to make it a bit more streamlined. We don't always have to be going for the next big thing. Or just because you hit like one financial goal doesn't mean now you've got to double it and you've got to go for double next year. Like, you've got to weigh up. And again, this is where, knowing you in the season of life and what you want, you've got to weigh up. Ok, yeah, I could add that goal to go big next year at May Income. But what would it take and what would have to change, because something will have to change. You know we can't do the same thing and hope to double our income. That would be amazing. But and are you willing to have that change and are you OK with the? There's always some kind of downside to this. Ok, if I want to increase my income here, I might have to work that day I take off currently, or I might have to bring on a team. So, yeah, I could double my income, but my profit is not double. So it's about working that out. But you don't always have to be growing and jumping to the next thing. Yeah, great if you want to, but don't feel like because other people are going. You've got to have this, but you need to do that.

Nikita Williams: 20:39

Yeah, exactly, I love that. I think that's the theme of this is just don't build a business or a vision on someone else's highway. Yeah, yeah, just just don't do it, just don't do it. Yeah, figure out. I always say figure out what it is that you need in the season is always good advice 100 percent and I say don't measure yourself by someone else's ruler.

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 21:06

So like don't measure your level of success by someone else's ruler, it can only be by yours.

Nikita Williams: 21:11

Yeah, and everyone's ruler is different, like you know, I find for myself personally I'm in a group coaching program too and there are women in there who are definitely wanting to reach, you know, millions and millions, and it's like for me, that's not my season, that's not where I'm seeing, that's not what I want, and sometimes I think as a coach and you let me know if this is something you find, theresa that as coaches, we can at times make our vision seem as if it should be our client's vision.

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 21:46

Yes, yeah, I totally get that Like. I think sometimes do you not find that people you attract people that want similar to what you've got, which makes perfect sense because you know, if you know someone's got what you want, then you're going to like and you can be taught by them and you can be coached by them than 100% do that. But it doesn't have to be like that and I feel like sometimes our job is to go and I try really mindfully to just go. This is me, this is what I want, this is what I choose. That doesn't mean that has to be for the rest of you. The other thing I did in my group which is difficult, but I'm just about making it work the requirement to join is not a financial requirement, as in. It's not a financial level they have to have hit. Because I've got people in there who will never make six figures Never, because their business isn't set up that way. They don't want it, the balance they want in their life. They just don't want six figures, but they're willing to work really hard and they want to put the time and the focus near to their business. Then I've got other people who want to hit seven figures and that's fine. And it's weird because most coaching group coaching I've been in you've got to be at this level. And it is interesting because I totally get that. I totally get like you want to be challenged, you want to know that there are other people in the room that can help lift you to where you want to be. But also I feel like, especially in my world, it's a mindset, so it's like someone could have the money. So there are people that have come to me and gone. I'd like to join and I've gone, okay, but are you going to put the work in? Are you going to show up? Are you going to do it? I don't care if you can afford to join. That's not the question here. The question is everyone who's in there shows up. They do the work, they get on the calls, they support each other. They're a community, they're great together. And just because one is bringing in 70,000 a year and one is bringing in 700,000 a year, that makes no difference to them. They're okay with that and I know not everybody would. And again, that's fine. It's about the effort they want to put in. It's about that accountability they want, about how they want to show up, what that community they want. So those things are so important and I know people who have amazingly hit on a niche and suddenly flown and they've been phenomenal and got a huge income. But it doesn't mean that they're right for doing that kind of program. So I think it's a really interesting one and again, I wouldn't be standing by what I said if I said you have a lot of money. You have to win over this amount of money to come in, because I'm not letting you decide what you want for your business.

Nikita Williams: 24:29

Yeah, and I think what I have found too is that when it's not based on money and it's more based on those values and the work, you actually have a much more colorful experience of getting to whatever growth that looks like for you. Because growth I've been talking about this a lot on the podcast growth is beyond just numbers. There is the I mean, mindset. To me is probably the biggest growth, as you mentioned, that most of us experienced, no matter what level you're in. The money is the money Like, it's like the money, but the mindset, work and the personal development really honestly is. You know, if you want to, if you want to get better as a person, become an entrepreneur you have to do so much work on yourselves and your thinking in order to be open and humble. You know that I'm learning.

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 25:27

And do you know what it is such a good word in terms of being humble? Because I think that's another thing that we have to teach ourselves. That again, and I don't know whether to say with you, when you know some of the stuff I've been in and some of the stuff I regret bringing in, quite honestly, that it teaches us something every time.

Nikita Williams: 25:43

Always.

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 25:44

But it was so ego driven and it was so like if you weren't at this amount of money then you weren't worthy. And it's like you know what. What was lovely when I started the coach point was I took them from my membership and I said to them individually I'm starting this thing. This is a couple of years back. I'm starting this thing, would you like to be part of it? And I chose a real array of like I guess, if you were looking, just the income, incomes. However, I took people who worked so flipping hard but they were so far off where they needed to be from a personal development point of view. I took people who didn't want to earn a lot of money, weren't that bothered about any money, but from personal development point of view, they had done so much work and could add so much value. And I think you're right when we talk about growing, it has to be in all aspects, because, a bit like we were saying earlier, like I know, my husband said to me like if he says working hard, he's like are you sure? Like what? Could you not just go back to being an agency, because you used to bring in so much money? When you're an agency, it's like I don't want to be an agency Like and this is the thing it's like I know I could bring in, I could do just consultancy and charge an app slip, flip and fortune. However, I love working with small business owners. It makes me so very happy. So again, that wouldn't be success. Yeah, it might look like it on paper because it might go wow, look how much you're earning. I could probably go out and get a marketing director's job with a really good salary, but again, I wouldn't be happy. So we've got to look at it. And another thing we do in the group I teach is we don't just look at the money, but we look at how your team is. We look at how you are as a person, we look at how your downtime is, how. We did an exercise the other way Exercise the other week where we were working out what your true north was, and we did a kind of very, very mindful type exercise where I got them, I did a meditation with them. I got them to feel in their body like what it felt like when things were good. So they imagined like an amazing moment in their life where they were the happiest, and I got them to feel it in their body. And then we imagined something that didn't go so well or they didn't like and nothing too traumatic, but just you know that sucked. All that made me feel really uncomfortable and imagined how that felt in their body. And then what I got them to do is go through all the aspects of their business and sit with it and go how does that make me feel? To look for their true north, to look for Am I in my business and does it feel good? And it resulted in someone ditching a client because they were like, do you know what I was doing? Exercise, and I thought about working with this person. I was like, yeah, great, and that felt good and this was yeah. And then I thought of this and I was like and it's like when they listen to themselves, they were like I don't like that. So again, it's, that's a measure of success. You know she could have kept that client to keep the money, but she didn't enjoy working with them. So it's that kind of this work and vision work and goal work, and I think sometimes it can be seen as like a bit frivolous or a bit silly or a bit like is it really that important? Should I really sit there and do a big goal setting thing and think about my vision and think about my true North. Yeah, like, any amount of time you spend in this is going to come back 10 fold because you're going to love what you do and you're then going to make sure that you're geared up to only do those things, or to make sure you get more of that stuff, whereas you could just end up earning money and it's sucking and then that's not sustainable, like, no, you're not going to do that.

Nikita Williams: 29:17

Yeah, and especially if you're living with chronic illnesses, is something I will say that I am most aligned with. Most of the women I choose to be. My coach is right, but there's always a piece sometimes that I find that I'm a little bit of out of alignment with the concept that business is business, and my thought is that business is the most personal thing you can do. Oh, so much Like outside of, like our relationships and our spirituality and all of that stuff. Business is the most personal thing you can do and if you look at it like it's this, this, like thing that's over there, I don't see how that's sustainable, especially with most people. What I will say that I've worked with in myself living with chronic illness, especially women who are highly sensitive we feel all of the things in our bodies, regardless whether we want to or not.

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 30:12

Yeah, so if we're cinema sometimes, but exactly so.

Nikita Williams: 30:16

If we're building a business that we don't feel good doing it and we're marketing a way we don't feel good doing it, if we're attracting clients that we don't like, you cannot sustain that, even physically Right Like, your body will respond to that Like it's like I hate that, like it's going to try to protect you from this thing that you're building that is so ugly and so disgusting to your body that it's not going to work Long term. It's not going to work.

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 30:45

Yeah, and you'll write. And I think you are battling with something like with a chronic illness, with anything that you are having to deal with on a daily basis that is causing you discomfort, whether it's physical or mental or whatever discomfort. The last thing you want to do is bring something else in like that's going to do the same, because it's just going to exacerbate all of it, whereas I think and again, you want to work with people where they understand those things. Like one of my members, she only works with women who are parents, because she's a woman who's a parent and she gets what that's like. She gets that she finishes it three o'clock because she goes on the school run and so she doesn't want to work with people. That and she's had them before, and this is one of the reasons now why she's so sort of fierce about this that she has to apologize. The fact I'm going to do the school run or I'm taking the afternoon off because it's sports day, again, we don't want to deal with people, and especially with a chronic illness. You don't want to work with people or create a business where you are too embarrassed or too you don't feel good going. You know what I'm just going to have to take a bit of time. I'll be back or I can work in this way, like it might be that you choose to work in a way that isn't as reactive because you don't know how you're going to feel on a particular day, whereas you can work a month in advance with stuff, because then you can do it when you feel good it's done and you don't have to worry when you don't feel so good. So, again, it's creating all of us in our life, but, especially if you're living with certain iconic illness, ease has got to be the word. Like everything needs that element of ease, and your business has to be that too. And you're so right with and this took me a while I came from a corporate world. I came from a very male dominated corporate world. They didn't want to know if you were married. They didn't want to know if you had kids. They didn't want to end like you weren't even allowed to pretend you had a life out of that work. And so when I came into my business and starting my business, I ended up sharing an office with some absolutely showbizistic paid guys, like they were the worst. So that carried on for a little while and then suddenly I realized that actually people were signing up because of me and part of me was the fact of all these other elements. It's not just Teresa who has a degree in marketing and has all these years experience. It's Teresa who can have a laugh. It's Teresa who likes a gin on an evening. It's Teresa who has a child and has to juggle these things. And especially now even more, I embrace all of it because I can relate to other people who can relate to me now because they can go. Oh, thank God there's someone out there doing it that is like me, that looks like me, that sounds like me, that has the same issues that I have or has the same problems that I have. So I know, in not every business and not every world you're going to be able to fully embrace those things, but life is just so much easier if you can, surely.

Nikita Williams: 33:53

Yeah, so many nuggets in there, especially about the piece about people being attracted to all the things that you don't think are that big of a deal, and especially as online entrepreneurs. Sometimes we're still focused on the certifications and all of the actual work experience, but the thing that people are like watching you and looking at you for like it's so funny you say this that we're talking about this because I went, I did a little story on my Instagram the other day and I was going to a doctor's office and I it actually takes me really a very intentional thought to say I'm going to show this because obviously I work with women with chronic illness growing a business, so don't want them to ever feel like me. Running my business means that I'm just never in a flare up. I'm never going and doing those things Like no, I'm totally like you and I was like I'm going to share this and I look probably not the best. I look kind of like not that cute, like let's just be real, okay, and I was like just sharing and going to the doctor's office. I'm not going to look you especially this particular doctor's office, but anyway, I'm going and I'm like having this realization that I need to share something that's on my heart about this process, and I can tell you I had so again. It always reminds me like this is what people want for me more of right. It's not about the tips, it's not about you know all of these things I learned about the mindset like, yeah, they love that. But when I come in and show the real, all of these little parts of me that are not always connected to my business, people are like, yes, give me more.

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 35:40

Yes, and that's for a couple of reasons. One, people like people, people like to see people and real people, stuff, and and they remember stories. They remember that kind of detail. They won't necessarily remember like that you've got a degree in something or a particular stat by something. They're not going to remember that, but they will remember when you tell a story, because stories sit better in our brain. The other thing that's really interesting about this is I did some I'm not certified in this at all, but I did some work in story brands, building a story brand and when it talks about the meets, the guide and you are the guide, are you where the guides as business owners? It says that you have to show them two things. You have to show them authority, which I think we're very good at doing. This is why I'm good at my do the. Here's a blog on this thing, here's a podcast on this thing. But the other thing we have to show them is empathy and because so many of us and I'm a good example, you're a good example we are our customers. Like you know, we deal with people who are like us. So in order for us to show empathy to them, in order for them to see that actually we get it. We've got to show that stuff too. We can't say, especially with Unikitty. You can't say we can create your business that you can work with with the chronic illness, it's okay, it's this. If you're not saying like this is how I do it or this is how I manage it. Like, if you go, oh, it's okay for you to show vulnerability, but I couldn't possibly show that for one minute, Right Again, it's no good me saying to my audience you need to show up brave like this and you need to do this thing, or you need to think about what you want for your business. When I'm trying to do a flipping copycat of something else that I've seen, because I think that's the way to do it. I've got to show up as me and go this is what I want for my business, this is how I want to appear. So we've got to be the kind of the example of it and in our marketing and if you're listening to this in your marketing you need to show the authority and the empathy and often the empathy, because we often deal with clients who are ourselves. The empathy is showing up. The real stuff is showing up the real life stuff and, like you said, that's the stuff. And even if you just want to do it for the algorithm, like if you want to literally go in, this is going to get good interaction, which is going to help the next two posts. But you're right, like that was the thing. So we were talking before we got on. I've just been to Athens to do a workshop all day and I'm obviously not based in Athens and I flew over and I had an extra day there and I was really nervous about being on my own there and traveling on my own and sight seeing on my own and all this sort of thing in another country. And I put on my Instagram stories. I'd been posting stories all day. They'd been getting some good interaction, like not you know, just kind of average interaction, and then I posted that it surprised me how okay I was. So I was very honest about because, again, like, if you've seen, I've been to Dubai, I've been to the States, I get you know, especially before lockdown, I'd be flown all over to speak. So people must look at me and think, oh, she just loves it, it's easy and it's like well, yeah, either I fly in and fly out again, or I know someone there, or my husband comes with me. So this is the first time where I was on my own. I had a whole day sight seeing on my own. So I put you know, I'm really surprised how much I've actually been okay with this. Have you ever been on holiday on your own? And I asked a poll and the interaction on that was huge, so big, because people who had been on holiday on their own were like, yes, I love it, it's brilliant. And then a load of other people like no, I don't think I could. And then I was able to reply to all these people going like I didn't think I could next time. Really surprised, I feel really brave. Like that, I've done it. And then, if you just want to think about the algorithm, the next few posts had three times the amount of views than the post previously because I'd had that interaction. So that's the stuff like, yeah, someone might be looking at me thinking, oh, I'd love to speak, I'd love to be someone flying me out somewhere and speak, that'd be amazing. But that didn't get. The like yeah, they were like that's awesome, but it was the me going. Actually, that was a bit scary and I've just done this. I brave am. I like that's what got the interaction, so so showing that stuff is so very important.

Nikita Williams: 39:57

Yeah, that is so true and I agree with you. That story I did see that on Instagram and I was like, yes, I kind of sort of feel the same way. Even if I'm not going out of town, I do so much with my husband that at this point, if I go somewhere I did that last week I went on like a little spa day and it was just me and I did dinner with myself and I was like as weird as this feels, I'm actually surprised of how excited I feel in this moment. But yeah, it is the human part of us that we. It's such a vulnerable place, right, it's such a vulnerable place to show up in that way sometimes. And I'm the first one to tell people you're going to tell everybody everything, but just showing pieces like flex of what that looks like in your life can make such a difference for someone who is like looking at you and wondering, like, are you really a human?

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 40:49

Yes, yeah, because often people don't show that or they they show this real highlighted view of, like you said, oh, it's going to be down five minutes, but I'm okay now. Business is great. Thanks very much. Like we do need to see that and remember someone saying that you know, you don't tell them when you're in the weeds. You wait till you got yourself out the weeds and then you tell them. You were in the weeds and I do agree with that. I agree that no one wants to go. No one wanted to see a story of me as I was going to go to be on my own. What am I going to do? Yeah, I'm sure, but no one needed to see that Then me going. I'm really surprised. I wasn't keen that actually it was really good. Like that's fine. Like we're not saying go online sobbing. Like I mean, if you want to, you can I mean you want to go with that, Go on business. Your choice. Like that is cool, but for me that wouldn't do. Like I will be really open about stuff Once I've kind of worked out like, oh okay, I'm on the next stage now I've just moved slightly on and therefore I'm happy to admit this didn't go as well, or I wasn't keen on this, or you know, whatever it might be. So, yeah, I think you've got to be the boss of that. You've got to decide whether that's what you want or not. You know, like you said, we can't just say show everything. And some people are really comfortable and really kind of happy to show everything, some people not at all. So it's where you are really Well, this has been great.

Nikita Williams: 42:18

Can you tell us anyone who is and I know I'm not going to ask the question of like, what's the one tip, but the best advice you've ever received, or you feel like you've received, in growing your business?

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 42:32

Good one, okay, and you know what it sprung to my mind instantly. So I know it's the right thing. I started working with my amazing coach. We all need a coach, fyi, yes, the coaches need coaches. I started working with my amazing coach. I started working with them when I had an agency, when we had clients, so years and years and years ago now, and I'd lost a couple of big clients for no good reason, like it wasn't like we'd upset them or it wasn't like they hated us, it was just the project came to an end, or actually it just stopped, and they were big money clients. And I went on to a coaching call with it and I was like freaking out and I was like this is, you know, the nightmare. This is awful, this is just like just give it a minute and we calm down. And she was like what if you were exactly where you're meant to be?

Nikita Williams: 43:17

And I was like did you know what I'm saying?

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 43:21

She was like, seriously, though, what if you were? And I'd sat there and thought, whether I believe that or not, whether I sit there and go, that's just, that's a rubbish Mary, I don't know what you're talking about. It just feels nicer Like thinking, oh, I'm meant to be here. Just feels so much nicer than freaking out because of what's happening, and also like freaking out isn't going to change anything. I mean losing it because I lost those clients and sobbing because that income's gone wasn't going to get the income back. It wasn't suddenly going to make them go oh sorry, theresa, here we go. Or another client go, here's some money. That wasn't going to change that at all. So actually all that was doing was upsetting me and bothering me. So, just by her going, what if you are exactly where you're meant to be? And you know what? She was right, because when I lost those two clients, it freed me up enough space to start the online business, which I mean wouldn't start, which then resulted in, a few months later, me sacking the rest of my clients. So I should do the online business, which I've done ever since. So I was exactly where I needed to be. But, like I said, even if you're sat there going what a load of rubbish it just feels nicer. It just feels nicer saying to yourself what if I'm exactly where I need to be, rather than this is horrendous, I'm going to cry. I've got to get a job at the local supermarket.

Nikita Williams: 44:43

It's so funny that is such a good piece of advice, Like it's like a good coaching, like to be so funny. I just had a conversation with one of my clients that very same situation. It was like yeah, but what if this is what's supposed to be happening right now? Like what if you know? I love that. You shared that and I think it's powerful to understand that if everything flips upside down tomorrow or if you haven't even started, whatever it is you think you need to have started. Maybe the reason why is that you never should have started in the first place and something else is coming, or this is your time to reset, to really be intentional and be like what opportunities are actually in front of me? When we're in freak out mode, we can't see those opportunities.

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 45:37

No, and we don't make good decisions. So if it just comes you down to make a better decision, then go right. And it happens all the time Like really stupid small stuff. But my husband and I were going to London next week because I bought some stuff down there that I've got to do and we tried to book a hotel and it didn't go through properly and it was really annoying and we had to get it sorted. Anyway, today I went to book the trains and there's a train strike, so we've had to change all our plans. So it's like and I know you might be listening to Sink and Well, that's just stupid, but, like you know, the hotel was meant to be booked. We should have had it booked. And a problem happened and he was a bit annoyed with me because I hadn't sorted it out yet and I was like I just haven't had time. And then, of course, this happened. I was like that's why I hadn't had time, because now we don't need that hotel, because now we can't do the trip as we needed to do. So everything's changing. So, and you can't see it, and even the big stuff in life I got a divorce, like when my daughter was four, like that was bad, like that was a big thing in my life, you know. But if I haven't got divorced, I wouldn't have started my business, I wouldn't have met my now husband, I wouldn't live where I am in the house I am, I wouldn't be as happy as like, you can't always say I'm not saying everything is like that but, like I said, it just feels a whole lot nicer to think that, even if you don't believe it.

Nikita Williams: 46:52

Yeah, exactly, it feels a lot nicer and like your nervous system is like thank you, yes, yes it is, yeah, it's like that fight of light is like you can just calm you down.

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 47:05

Now we're taking over it's far.

Nikita Williams: 47:07

Yeah, exactly. Well, how can we find you, and is there anything special coming up that we?

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 47:13

should know about. So you can search Theresa Heath wearing anywhere the advantage of having a very unusual name because I appear everywhere. My favorite is Instagram, so you will find me most often on there and you can go to Theresa Heath wearingcom and everything's on there, including my podcast, which is your dream business. And what have I got coming up? That's exciting. Well, going into 2023, I'm actually doing some in-person events myself, which is very exciting, but they're mainly based in the UK, so that's a bit unfortunate, although I am trying to find somewhere in the States because I do like going over there. But, yeah, just come and check out the 90 day program and the group coaching and all that good stuff.

Nikita Williams: 47:52

So awesome. Thank you so much for being on, Theresa.

Teresa Heath-Wareing: 47:55

Thank you so much for having me. It's been an absolute joy.

Nikita Williams: 48:01

That's a wrap, y'all. Thanks for tuning in to Crafted to Thrive, the podcast that helps entrepreneurs with chronic illness to thrive and build a holistic business in life. Check out our website at CraftedToThrivecom for this episode show notes and all the gifts and goodies. Connect with me on Instagram at thrivewithnakeda for more tips and behind the scenes and more Tap me to share what you loved about this episode and I'll feature you on an upcoming episode. So until next time, remember, yes, you are crafted to thrive.