Transcript
WEBVTT
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Hey, what's up world? Welcome
to snack size, the podcast that will
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drag you into your most fabulous life. I'm your host, La La Luscious,
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also known as the snack of the
twin cities. I decided for myself
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that I can be whatever I want
to be. So I decided to be
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a drag queen, and if I
can live my dreams, you can to.
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The time has come to believing yourself
enough to turn your ideas into more
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than mere words, and, no
matter what you are doing in life or
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where you want to go, I
want to help you get there fabulously.
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Our ten minutes starts now. Hey, snacks, welcome back to snack size.
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Today's episode is very special to me
because we are featuring the winner of
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my casting call, which as for
people to send me their stories and I
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would pick one person to come on
here and share it with you all.
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Our guests today is Denzel Bilin,
an actor, improviser, writer and director
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currently based in Minneapolis Minnesota. He
currently writes and performs with the brave new
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workshop as a member of their mainstage
team and for Minnesota tonight. Denzel has
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worked with many theaters, including uprising
theater company Phoenix. Theater, freshwater theater
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and Minnesota French. He is also
one half of brother brother and Improv duo
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that performs often at huge theater here
in Minneapolis and is played festivals in the
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mini Polis area as well as Boston
Massachusetts. It is my honor to welcome
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Denzel to snack size. Let's give
them a call, hid and sell welcome
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to snack size. Hi, thank
you so much for having me. Thank
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you so much for being on here
with me today. Denzel won our casting
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call contest in which I was looking
for anyone who is an artist or a
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creative person to tell their story,
and I knew from the moment I got
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your email that you were definitely the
winner of the casting call for the listeners.
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The email subject says, laughing at
the bullshit, how finding satirical sketch
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comedy helped me process the world.
So I am very excited to hear about
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how your life as a comedian has
helped to live a happy and fulfilled life.
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I know that this is a really
hard time for creative people, so
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how are you holding up during this
time? As of today that we are
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recording this, I am doing pretty
good, I have to say. All
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things considered as a performing artist,
there has been lately a lot of really
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big announcements. Particularly the Gutthree Theater, which is our big regional theater,
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just announced that they are not doing
any shows until March of two thousand and
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twenty one. Oh my gosh.
Yeah, and I know a lot of
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theaters are influenced in like take note
of what the gut three is doing.
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So we could find ourselves in this
place where smaller theaters are maybe taking a
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year or more off to sort of
recoup and get back together in order to
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do what they love to do.
I don't know where my particular theater do.
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I work at the brave new workshops
landing. Fortunately, we are in
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a position where we are creating content
and I'm still getting somewhat of a paycheck,
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but we all know that that's only
for unlimited amount of time and we're
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just happy to do the work.
I think you had told me that the
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brave new workshop is the oldest Improv
workshop in the United States technically the longest
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running satirical comedy theater in North America. Wow, though, this content that
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you're creating now online, where can
we find it? A lot of it
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is through the brave new workshop.
I've also done some ticktock for another organization
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called Take Action Minnesota. I also
am going to do a really fun playwriting
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project with some student through the Pillsbury
House. So but that will be later.
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That sounds like you've had some really
exciting projects during this quarantine. So
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are you? Would you say that
you've been able to keep yourself inspired?
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I wouldn't say as sort of consistently
and feverently as I have been in the
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past, but I've been able to
like write some things. I've been able
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to take care of myself artistically and
honestly, it really helps my soul knowing
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that I'm getting paid for it.
So often as artist we are pushing our
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own craft on our own time,
spending our own money, you know,
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always netting a negative amount. It's
sometimes hard, hard to step back and
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be like, Oh, I could
be writing that next great American play,
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but that's going to be my time, my effort, and I won't see
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any finance until it sells, if
it sells. So tell me about a
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little bit about how you started in
comedy. Yeah, so when I went
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to college at Sat Olif College,
I didn't really know anyone. I hit
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win serve on this gut insting and
I had met someone who I was really
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you know, kicking it off with
having a good friendship, and I was
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like, what are you up to
tonight? And she was like, I'm
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gonna go to check out this improv
practice. You know, she explained it
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as most people typically do. It's
very whose line is it? anyways,
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and I was like, well,
I know stage. Let me go check
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this out. So I went there
and I was really fascinated by this idea
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of getting the chance to perform.
You didn't need to memorize any lines.
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That was oh so nice, because
time consuming sound. was like, why
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not, I'll give it a try. And you know, I'll be honest,
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for this first year, year and
a half, two years, I
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wasn't particularly good, but no one
should be, or really is when they
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first start out. But I never
think it's a bad thing that when you
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first try something, if you're not
brilliant at it, I think it's okay.
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So I kept doing that all four
years of my time. is saying
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all of it. So I decide
to stay in Minnesota. Through my Improv
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work, I was able to be
the lot of different people and so there
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was one day where I got a
message from a friend who was currently in
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a show at the brave new workshop
and he was like Hey, I need
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to ask if you are busy and
we are looking for like something extra and
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fun to do, and I was
like sure, I tell he's use a
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little bit of extra cash. And
I went into this meeting and I'll be
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honest, I thought I was there
because I was like maybe it's like a
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serving job, you know, maybe
I could run front of how something like
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that, and I quickly realize that
he was asking me to understudy for the
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show and I did not know that
and that excited me. That was such
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an opportunity and of course I said
yes, I'm going to understudy for the
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brave new workshop comedy theater. They
sketch comedy thing, and then I went
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home and I was like what exactly
is sketch comedy? But I quickly realize
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I need to take a class in
what sketch comedy was, particularly the writing,
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even though I wasn't doing writing.
I want to get into the world.
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So I took my first class at
strike theater for sketch comedy writing,
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and everyone's going around talking about why
they're taking the class. A lot of
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people are like, you know,
I'm a teacher and I'm looking for something
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different. And then there's me.
I'm about to understudy at the brave new
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workshop and I figured I should understand
what sketch comedy is, and everyone there
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was like what I was tempting at
the time a division of a big bank
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doing a small thing for them,
and it just wasn't what I had spent
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four year studying theater to do.
Exactly. Yeah, so I took the
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leap and I left that relatively well
paying job to go and, you know,
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take a little bit of a pay
cut and pursue art all on the
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fly, making the decision to kind
of just jump into what you love?
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Was that a scary decision to make? Absolutely, it was truly terrifying,
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but I feel like it's terrifying the
way that, like bungee jumping is terrifying,
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like you know that there's gonna be
a thrill and at a certain point
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you can only experience that thrill once
you step off. But I never thought
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I would make a substantial amount of
my income with me being on the stage
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performing. What is your creative process
when it comes to writing a sketch.
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My creative process is I have to
be authentically me as I'm writing. When
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I first started writing, I think
I was writing towards what I really thought
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was funny, and then I had
to learn, like the skills behind it,
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what makes a good sketch piece.
So I had to learn like jokes.
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I had to learn how to punch
up a script, I had to
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learn how to give notes to other
scripts. I just need to learn these
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technical things that I didn't have.
But now that I feel stronger in those
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skills, I can sort return to
that base thing and be like, I
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like this idea, this is me. When we talked before the show,
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you had mentioned that you had to
draw a line between you and your art.
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What are the challenges you face in
regards to that and how did you
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overcome them? Yeah, particularly with
sketch comedy, the way we write at
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the brake and workshop, so often
we write stuff like for our selves.
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However, that also blurs everything and
if you write yourself into like the funny
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comedic role and then someone at the
tables like I didn't find this particularly funny,
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where the Jukes were the joke,
it almost feels like you're not funny,
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you you're missing out on something,
and I had a hard time distinguishing
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this new thing, this new form, this writing. If they might,
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if they hate that, they must
hate my style of humor. And then
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the more conversations I had, the
more I learned about my art and really,
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I would say my artistic director,
Kault mcwen, he's like, I
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keep hiring you because I see what
you bring to the table and I eventually
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just have to trust that. And
they like I wouldn't be able to do
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show after shafter show if there wasn't
something in me that was working. Why
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should I be harder on myself then
the person who has other options? Something
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that people struggle with, especially creative
people, is that we have it in
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our minds that sometimes we don't deserve
the opportunities that we're getting. And while
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there is definitely times in life where
you will have to work really, really
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hard for what you want, there's
also the battle of accepting the fact that
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this is my time and I am
where I'm supposed to be. Because then
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our minds sometimes we don't know how
to handle that, especially as artist,
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when you struggle for so long,
when a break comes, you don't even
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know what to do, because all
you know is the struggle. Right.
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So accepting those people in your life
and listening to them and allowing them to
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accurge you is super important for following
your dreams. Yeah, and I really
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like what you mentioned there, because
I feel like there have been so many
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times where I've had such a hard
go at certain things that the comfort of
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being fine or being good or great
is so unfamiliar that I sort of that's
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what becomes the uncomfortable thing. So
to be put in a situation where primarily
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what I did was right and perform
after sort of having those experiences, was
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like why am I here? To
a certain degree, and especially being a
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black queer man, I was like
I'm the diversity. If you look at
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me, you know that I'm diverse, quote unquote, and so, you
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know, I had those nagging thoughts
in my head and it just really was
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me undercutting all the work I had
been doing so I could write something really
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amazing. It can make people laugh, but there's still part in my head
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that's like, well, you know, you're here because you're the black kid,
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which is again nothing that I got
from them themselves. Right, this
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is all me projecting onto them,
based off of life really, and me
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having to be so aware of my
race, of my sexuality so early and
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understanding what that means for the way
that people often perceived me. I put
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that and those guards that I had
onto my work, which in fact hindered
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my ability to grow. You know, it's a very interesting that you brought
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that up, because one of the
things I struggled with when I found success
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here was actually pressure from the Black
Queer community about my success. What I
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first moved here, I was lucky
enough to be named the host of a
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very big show and a lot of
the black quer community came to me and
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they said, well, you know, they've never picked a black person for
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that. I can't believe that they
picked you because they've never had a black
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coast before. And while there's an
important moment for that when a person of
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color sort of, I guess,
find success and anything it's important, at
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the same time I think one of
the biggest pressures for me was, did
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they only pick me for that reason
and then all your talent and all your
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hard work solely goes out the window
because you only become focused on is that
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the only reason I'm here and that
never feels good. So I'm glad that
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you found a way to work through
that and listen to the people around you
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and realize that it's your talent and
what you have to offer just as a
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person is what's propelling you for it
in your field. So often with in
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our communities it becomes this we're all
fighting for this one spot sort of idea
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that you know, there can only
be one black person on the stage,
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they can only have, you know, one black girl in the drag show.
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But what I've been doing personally in
order to combat that is, like
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I've been uplifting, like everyone right, like I take my success, I
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take my joys, I take where
I have found my height in the community,
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particularly in Improv, and I've been
like, you know what, but
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I really like that idea and if
you need help executing it, I'm more
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than willing to talk to you about
it. and rather than being like,
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you know, it is hard to
get a show up, because the reality
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is it is hard to get a
show up. But why? Why lead
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with that? Why be discouraging rather
than being like, here's the reality of
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it, but someone's got to do
it, so why not? You talking
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about just you as Denzel. What
is something that people seem to misunderstand about
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you? Particularly this last week in
like being a black male in America has
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been hard. Okay, very nice. You know, I had a moment
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when the stuff about the young man
who was shot while jogging. One the
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SOLACES I've been having your quarantine have
been I've taken two daily walks and I
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just had a moment where I'm like
I what can I do now? And
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I was like shaken to my core
about and like we can have conversations about
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the mask thing and how, like
so many communities, like the Agia communities
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in the black communities, are like
do I wear? Like I understand the
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health benefit of wearing this mask,
but also I could be judged and or
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shot for wearing this mask, and
who cares how healthy I am if I'm
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dead? I can't wear a Bandana
across my face exactly. I just can't.
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And when I see people doing it, part of me is like,
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thank God your white. It has
been very interesting for me to watch people
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who are not of color talk about
all my rights are being taken away.
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Oh, I can't believe that we
can't do this. And just with all
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the restrictions that have come from being
in this lockdown, how infringing it feels
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to them, and I think that
is how I live my life, that
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is how I wake up every day, and I have to make choices that
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have nothing to do with what I
may want to do or may what I
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feel I should be able to do, and I have to make choices for
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my day to day life, like
whether or not I'm going to walk or
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what I'm going to wear if I
go out for a walk, based on,
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ultimately, the fear that I could
die for making a simple wrong choice
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that day. And they have the
comfort of knowing that this time is temporary.
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They have the comfort of knowing that
at some point, you know,
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lockdown will end and things will go
back to normal. This is normal for
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us and I almost thought, like
when I heard about what happened to that
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poor man, that people would be
more understanding right now, and it just
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shocks me that at the same time, nothing's changed. Yeah, and you
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know what, like, while it
is shocking, there's a part of us
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that's like so not surprised exactly.
Things like the sadder thing, where I
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would almost be more shocked if this
did really resonate in change thing. You
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know, I'm what twenty seven and
I'm already like sort of jaded about that
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sort of progress happening quickly. This
is a really special conversation because we are
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two black queer men. So for
other Black Queer community people that may be
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listening, what would your advice be
for getting through the challenges that we just
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talked about? I'll answer when you're
done. Yeah, I would say communication.
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Communications been one of those things that
I have found one so much success
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in as far as like getting career
in everything, but also just within yourself
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and making sure that you're having those
conversations with yourself. And in my adult
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life more and more and I coming
to understand that there have been so many
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things that I have just sort of
kept in me because I need to present
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in a certain way, and just
being able to talk to anyone about it,
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a friend, a therapist, whoever
has the emotional energy, a hotline.
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Just that pressure to be silent is
what is harming us and is hurting
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us so deeply and I feel for
every black queer person because I know those
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pressures and I know that sometimes you
can't because you don't have the energy it's
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not a safe space, all those
different things, but if you if you
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can and you can work towards it, it can save your life. For
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me, I think that it would
be to have hope. I feel like
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every time our community is not down, it is really, really, really
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disheartening. But in my thirty one
years of life I've also seen a lot
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of things change, so I always
try to at least have a pinky wrapped
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around the hope that it will be
different in the future. Even my experience
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as drag queen. When I first
started drag it was not the thing to
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do. I was still getting beat
up for going out to, you know,
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my local bar dressed as woman.
But now drag is really penetrating mainstream
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culture. So something that I never
thought would change did, and I hope
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and pray all the time that this
particular issue with the black community and the
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Black Queer community will also change one
day. Yeah, and it just reminds
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me that, like we are entitled
to Joy. I think so much of
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our narrative is some laced in struggle
and working hard and, you know,
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defying the odds. But even to
see a celebrity like little not acts tweet
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and you can tell that, you
know he's just being himself and he's smiling
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and having good time and just being
a person like we are entitled to that
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as well, or even just be
feel free to like to the gas station,
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to the grocery store, day to
day things that you have to do
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that you feel sometimes feel this ominous
threat about, and nobody can ever really
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live that way. That's why,
in addition to the fact that we both
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work hard and we're very talented,
people will not know the mental struggle and
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the mental stamina you have to even
work through those pressures. Then you have
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to be talented, then you have
to go for what you want for so
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it's the fact that you and I
are making it. I think it's a
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beautiful, beautiful thing that we get
to sit here and say that and not
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many other people do. But I
hope the one thing that this podcast does
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is give them the inspiration and the
hope to keep going, because it can
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happen. You just have to work
for it and really really push through all
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those external factors. Well, thank
you so much. In the overcoming on
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snack size, it has been an
honor to do this episode with you.
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I know that people have a lot
to take away. I also have a
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lot to take away by cell from
it. So thank you so much for
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sharing. This was so wonderful and
truly it feels just as special to me
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as it does to so, if
people want to follow you, a normal
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about you, how do they do
that? Yeah, so I'm on facebook
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just as my regular name, and
on social media such as twitter, instagram
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and Ticktock, I'm at the word
from underscore Washington. All right. Well,
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thank you so much and snax.
We will talk to you later.
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By snacks. Okay, snack.
I hope you enjoyed this episode of snack
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00:21:23.660 --> 00:21:27.619
size. I also want to let
you know that this podcast is now on
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00:21:27.819 --> 00:21:33.690
iheartradio. Download the iheartradio APP and
follow snack size the podcast so you don't
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miss out on any of my content
exclusive to iheartradio. Also check out my
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00:21:38.609 --> 00:21:45.809
new website, www dot snack size
podcastcom, where you can listen to all
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00:21:45.849 --> 00:21:49.440
your favorite episodes and more. Until
next time, go be fabulous.