Just Do It!

WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.840 --> 00:00:05.519 Hey snacks, welcome to season two of snacks eyes, the podcast that will 2 00:00:05.519 --> 00:00:10.269 drag you into your most fabulous life. I'm your host, rather lushes, 3 00:00:10.470 --> 00:00:14.390 also known as the snack of the twin cities, a drag queen that twirled 4 00:00:14.429 --> 00:00:18.710 her way into podcasting, and the rest is a dream come true, and 5 00:00:18.989 --> 00:00:25.420 that's exactly what this podcast is about, making your dreams happen for you fabulously. 6 00:00:25.899 --> 00:00:29.899 This season we are continuing our journey in finding out what makes a happy 7 00:00:30.019 --> 00:00:34.340 and fulfilled life, going places we've never been before. Don't forget that, 8 00:00:34.500 --> 00:00:38.689 when it comes to your potential, the sky is the limit and it's never 9 00:00:38.729 --> 00:00:42.210 a bad time to be who you are. Get you a snack, because 10 00:00:42.210 --> 00:00:47.530 your fabulous life starts now. I've been sitting there drinking. Now I'm thinking, 11 00:00:47.649 --> 00:00:53.560 what's guess me? No Boma bullet ever do it. No Man, 12 00:00:54.039 --> 00:01:00.280 no ghost. One thing makes my skin keep going that fun things. You 13 00:01:00.560 --> 00:01:07.950 Bust News, and some of you I'm gonna I'll woke up from the night 14 00:01:07.390 --> 00:01:19.980 falling and guns, sad life. What I'M gonna do? Hey snacks, 15 00:01:21.420 --> 00:01:25.819 you are listening to the single scare me most from my guests for this episode. 16 00:01:26.379 --> 00:01:30.299 This guess is a soul full, spooky pop artist raised in Syracuse, 17 00:01:30.420 --> 00:01:34.129 New York and now lives in Los Angeles. He is the son of two 18 00:01:34.250 --> 00:01:38.489 ministers and first fell in love with music during his upbringing in the church. 19 00:01:38.090 --> 00:01:42.170 Now he writes his own songs as an indie artist with no management or backing. 20 00:01:42.569 --> 00:01:48.400 He is completely self produced, whether it's a catchy tune or a stunning 21 00:01:48.439 --> 00:01:52.480 music visual this, guess, is an example of what it means to live 22 00:01:52.640 --> 00:01:57.200 your dreams. Welcome the snack size, Trent Park. Let's give him a 23 00:01:57.280 --> 00:02:02.390 call. Hi and tried and welcome to snack size. Hi, thanks so 24 00:02:02.430 --> 00:02:07.349 much for having me said it. I am so excited. So scare me. 25 00:02:07.430 --> 00:02:09.509 Most is my new favorite thing. I love the beat. So I 26 00:02:09.550 --> 00:02:13.870 would love to hear about what inspired that single and what is the story behind 27 00:02:13.909 --> 00:02:16.340 it. Yeah, so very most was like an idea. I always had 28 00:02:16.819 --> 00:02:21.580 this concept of love. Is like a villain, like villainizing the idea of 29 00:02:21.699 --> 00:02:25.340 love. I think love is always persona fied as this like beautiful, magical 30 00:02:25.500 --> 00:02:31.449 thing. But I think for me, just like my experience of love is 31 00:02:31.569 --> 00:02:37.250 like I'm very empathetic and so like what I go on dates. Not Saying 32 00:02:37.250 --> 00:02:39.729 that I fall in love but the idea of love is always present. So, 33 00:02:39.930 --> 00:02:43.289 like when I wrote this song, I kind of got an idea of 34 00:02:43.370 --> 00:02:46.039 like, okay, let's say this was a Disney love story, but, 35 00:02:46.159 --> 00:02:51.199 like we put, love is like the ultimate villain of it of because, 36 00:02:51.319 --> 00:02:53.919 you know, love ends up makes us the most vulnerable, I think, 37 00:02:54.319 --> 00:02:58.120 and you see, the most like powerful people when they fall in love, 38 00:02:58.159 --> 00:03:00.789 they become this completely other type of person. So I just want to do 39 00:03:00.990 --> 00:03:04.990 like in terms of scared me most, like I just made like I'm not 40 00:03:05.310 --> 00:03:08.110 afraid of like demons or ghosts or anything, when it comes to the idea 41 00:03:08.150 --> 00:03:12.509 of love, I get kind of, you know, scared of it because 42 00:03:13.020 --> 00:03:15.460 you become vulnerable and you have no control what the other person feels. You 43 00:03:15.580 --> 00:03:21.020 just know the love that you feel. I read a really interesting interview with 44 00:03:21.180 --> 00:03:24.379 you on hbycom and one of the things you said is that you went on 45 00:03:24.419 --> 00:03:29.610 a lot of great dates, but it ultimately felt like you were dating ghosts, 46 00:03:29.689 --> 00:03:31.169 and I thought that was such a powerful statement to make a specially in 47 00:03:31.250 --> 00:03:35.169 relation to this song. I know that for me, I personally believe that 48 00:03:35.210 --> 00:03:38.449 people coming to our lives were a reason, a season or a lifetime, 49 00:03:38.889 --> 00:03:42.360 and it kind of sounds like this song is about the seasonal people. So 50 00:03:42.599 --> 00:03:46.039 how do those relationships affect you personally and as an artist just living in Los 51 00:03:46.080 --> 00:03:49.919 Angeles? I emergently from New York. I've been out here about six or 52 00:03:49.919 --> 00:03:55.710 seven years, and I mean the dating game is real, like like it's 53 00:03:55.789 --> 00:03:59.949 just so crazy. It's just like these different levels, and the one thing 54 00:03:59.990 --> 00:04:03.789 I really like about La dating scene is like the majority of guys I go 55 00:04:03.870 --> 00:04:08.750 out on dates with, I'm attracted to delf motivated people. They don't have 56 00:04:08.789 --> 00:04:12.979 to be successful, but like just doing their own thing, and I respect 57 00:04:13.060 --> 00:04:16.699 that. You'll always be second in a career type mindset. So I kind 58 00:04:16.740 --> 00:04:20.939 of when I did like start dating all these guys or whatever, I'd already 59 00:04:20.980 --> 00:04:25.730 feel sack it right off the bat, which is fine, but you just 60 00:04:25.810 --> 00:04:28.810 kind of feel like you know their first love is like their career, which 61 00:04:28.850 --> 00:04:32.649 I get it because it's kind of mine to but yeah, like dating ghosts 62 00:04:32.769 --> 00:04:36.529 is like it's a real thing. Would you say music is your most consistent 63 00:04:36.649 --> 00:04:40.480 relationship in life? I would say so, because, I mean I had 64 00:04:40.519 --> 00:04:45.120 to love and hate relationship with music for my like entire life, but the 65 00:04:45.319 --> 00:04:48.240 love was always the first one that irritation of it is when I kind of 66 00:04:48.319 --> 00:04:51.639 turn it into a business. You know, I was exploiting my talent to 67 00:04:51.720 --> 00:04:57.550 do like art that I necessarily didn't resonate with as a creative. But that 68 00:04:57.829 --> 00:05:01.149 love of music has always been consistent. When you're able to put that emotion 69 00:05:01.389 --> 00:05:05.149 that you fell into a song and then feel the emotion back when you hear 70 00:05:05.230 --> 00:05:10.379 it, it's very cathartic and that's kind of like my therapy. So so 71 00:05:11.100 --> 00:05:14.699 one of the things I want to do with this particular podcast is try to 72 00:05:14.819 --> 00:05:17.339 help people find their inspiration and I know that for me, I tried a 73 00:05:17.819 --> 00:05:20.930 ton of things before I found out that drag was that one thing that really 74 00:05:21.089 --> 00:05:24.970 just lit me up. When did you know that music was that type of 75 00:05:25.009 --> 00:05:28.089 thing for you? I could kind of pinpoint it, to be honest, 76 00:05:28.410 --> 00:05:30.129 and a lot of people can't, but when I was young, I think 77 00:05:30.129 --> 00:05:33.129 I was like ten or eleven, or maybe even younger, to be honest, 78 00:05:33.170 --> 00:05:38.959 but I got a piano for Christmas and I remember like coming up with 79 00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:44.120 ideas in my head and letting my fingers do it on the keys and then 80 00:05:44.160 --> 00:05:47.319 hearing it back and just like manipulating the music. So it kind of that 81 00:05:47.560 --> 00:05:51.189 love came very, very easily, where I just like it was like my 82 00:05:51.389 --> 00:05:56.709 internal voice within doing music and all that stuff. So I think that's where 83 00:05:56.709 --> 00:06:00.509 I kind of can pinpoint my love of music. But I grew up in 84 00:06:00.550 --> 00:06:04.139 the church and my parents are pastors. Once I like learned the piano, 85 00:06:04.579 --> 00:06:10.139 I kind of got forced to like play piano for people and and for the 86 00:06:10.259 --> 00:06:14.540 congregation or whatever, and the black church is always like very unforgiving. They're 87 00:06:14.540 --> 00:06:15.819 always like you're doing really great, but they'll like, you know, if 88 00:06:15.819 --> 00:06:18.370 they're not into it, they're not into it. And I love, you 89 00:06:18.490 --> 00:06:21.970 know, I love being in that demographic because you get called out, but 90 00:06:23.170 --> 00:06:26.129 in a very like you know, you just had to have thick skin. 91 00:06:26.649 --> 00:06:30.449 But the cool thing about like learning piano was, especially within the community that 92 00:06:30.490 --> 00:06:34.160 I grew up in, is like they grew up on emotion rather than like 93 00:06:34.399 --> 00:06:39.120 the analytical side, like a lot of people that I played with then. 94 00:06:39.199 --> 00:06:44.600 It like no scales or key or BPM or whatever, but they knew the 95 00:06:44.680 --> 00:06:47.430 emotion and the heartbeat of a record and how to play and how to sing. 96 00:06:47.709 --> 00:06:51.269 Growing up in that environment really helped me kind of find my voice within 97 00:06:51.389 --> 00:06:56.230 that music. I actually stumble across an interview from you in two thousand and 98 00:06:56.230 --> 00:06:59.870 fourteen where you're talking about writing, lyrics and poetry, and you said, 99 00:06:59.910 --> 00:07:02.180 since I can remember, I have been a person fascinated by the art of 100 00:07:02.339 --> 00:07:08.220 conversation. See my father work as a minister, crafting words to motivate a 101 00:07:08.339 --> 00:07:12.819 congregation, is where I was first exposed to the power of words. Do 102 00:07:13.019 --> 00:07:16.250 you still incorporate that time into your life, into your music today? You 103 00:07:16.370 --> 00:07:20.170 know, I actually they have my masters in creative writing and I have my 104 00:07:20.250 --> 00:07:26.970 Undergrad in literature and philosophy. So I really genuinely like I took my fascination 105 00:07:27.129 --> 00:07:31.439 to another level of really like exposing myself to it in the most dramatic of 106 00:07:31.560 --> 00:07:36.560 ways to really educate myself. Of Okay, words are very fascinating, but 107 00:07:36.759 --> 00:07:42.720 like, how did the greats, the great philosophers and a great writers and 108 00:07:42.839 --> 00:07:46.829 historic historians really motivate these people and how could they be so classic from like 109 00:07:47.149 --> 00:07:50.990 thousands of years ago with their words? And a lot of it was I 110 00:07:51.230 --> 00:07:56.189 took of, you know, emotion and storytelling. Like a lot of people 111 00:07:56.230 --> 00:08:01.259 like storytelling and they connect with emotion and keeping it really broad, like a 112 00:08:01.420 --> 00:08:07.500 broad kind of topic where every type of person can rely on the spectrum, 113 00:08:07.660 --> 00:08:11.139 so more people could connect with it, it could become more classic. So 114 00:08:11.220 --> 00:08:16.009 I for sure the art of conversation is Super Key and all my music I've 115 00:08:16.089 --> 00:08:20.209 done, the single after scarmy most was don't take my life away, which 116 00:08:20.209 --> 00:08:24.769 is a narrative on the social injustice is happening within the black community, and 117 00:08:24.050 --> 00:08:28.360 I always just want to have it a conversation piece and open thing where like, 118 00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:31.080 even if someone that was not a person of color or someone that's not 119 00:08:31.200 --> 00:08:37.360 in a marginalize demographic can resonate with that emotion and still kind of here at 120 00:08:37.399 --> 00:08:41.240 the pain. I can definitely see where your mind is working in your writing 121 00:08:41.470 --> 00:08:45.669 to kind of bring people in and it. That's really effective. You are 122 00:08:45.789 --> 00:08:50.149 self produced and self promoting right now, right correct. I am a one 123 00:08:50.230 --> 00:08:54.190 man band. I have some people that support me within the arts, but 124 00:08:54.710 --> 00:08:58.059 the majority of my art direction, my writing production, filters through me. 125 00:08:58.379 --> 00:09:03.299 What has your experience been? This is selfpromoted artist. The really cool thing 126 00:09:03.419 --> 00:09:07.100 that I'm finding now, as a solo artist and completely, fully independent, 127 00:09:07.460 --> 00:09:13.129 literally every artwork, piece, graphic visual that I put on Youtube, everything 128 00:09:13.250 --> 00:09:18.330 is completely like produced by me. So it's a blessing in disguise, because 129 00:09:18.330 --> 00:09:22.250 I've always wanted a team and I want to management and distribution all this stuff. 130 00:09:22.649 --> 00:09:26.639 But I think I always live by the quote from Arthur ash start where 131 00:09:26.639 --> 00:09:30.120 you are, use what you have and do what you can. I don't 132 00:09:30.200 --> 00:09:35.039 have that right now. So I really value like learning all the processes from 133 00:09:35.120 --> 00:09:39.389 like submitting my music to spotify and to curators and, you know, doing 134 00:09:39.429 --> 00:09:43.110 as much as I can to learn the entire scope of the business, because 135 00:09:43.149 --> 00:09:46.870 there's so many colors within the music business that I don't think people ever will 136 00:09:46.870 --> 00:09:50.870 understand unless they do it themselves. I've been doing it all all my myself. 137 00:09:50.070 --> 00:09:52.899 I'm kind of I'm not over it yet, but I'm soon to be 138 00:09:54.700 --> 00:09:58.740 my patients where my patients is wearing thin because, you know, with everything 139 00:09:58.860 --> 00:10:03.019 there's a bandwid and I think you know creativity, you do have a certain 140 00:10:03.019 --> 00:10:05.940 amount that you give out and you need to replenish yourself. To be honest, 141 00:10:05.940 --> 00:10:09.450 I do have a circle of people that motivate me that may not be 142 00:10:09.649 --> 00:10:13.649 part of my projects, but I'm they, you know, stimulate stimulate me 143 00:10:13.850 --> 00:10:18.090 doing this stuff and there are and their music. So that's really good. 144 00:10:18.250 --> 00:10:22.039 Having a good friendship base within that but I do. I've I've been slowly 145 00:10:22.480 --> 00:10:28.840 picking pieces and people from various projects that I've worked on in the past to 146 00:10:30.080 --> 00:10:35.000 kind of help me with my vision and that's just been such a blessing to 147 00:10:35.789 --> 00:10:39.110 to get their support. I can't wait till I get, you know, 148 00:10:39.309 --> 00:10:46.110 like funding and like I just my ideal dream is just to be do exactly 149 00:10:46.149 --> 00:10:48.389 what I do just but on a bigger platform. To what advice would you 150 00:10:48.429 --> 00:10:52.700 have for the creative people or the people who want to start something new and 151 00:10:52.740 --> 00:10:58.379 maybe it's entrepreneurial and putting themselves out there? I always advise people do it 152 00:10:58.940 --> 00:11:01.139 and and that's like such a simple phrase, but it's very complex. I 153 00:11:01.259 --> 00:11:05.409 have a lot of you know, people always ask advice of like well, 154 00:11:05.450 --> 00:11:07.210 how do I do and all this kind of stuff. And you know, 155 00:11:07.370 --> 00:11:13.169 in the beginning phases of creating art or starting Your Business or whatever whatever it 156 00:11:13.330 --> 00:11:18.250 is, you know there's a fear because a lot of people in their mind 157 00:11:18.000 --> 00:11:22.639 they have really good content or they have a really good idea and they know 158 00:11:22.840 --> 00:11:26.440 the level of that idea so high and when they're out putting it it's not 159 00:11:26.799 --> 00:11:31.320 meaning that idea within their head. And as creatives that's really difficult because you 160 00:11:31.399 --> 00:11:33.870 know you want the best. As for your brand, we all know, 161 00:11:33.070 --> 00:11:37.590 like you got to look que have the right filter do this. Your brand 162 00:11:37.669 --> 00:11:41.149 has to be popping SB feature and yeah, kind of stuff. But like 163 00:11:41.309 --> 00:11:45.230 in the beginning, like really humble yourself and forgive yourself and let yourself go 164 00:11:45.470 --> 00:11:48.740 through these modes of creativity, because there's phases to it and it's there's such 165 00:11:48.779 --> 00:11:54.299 a beauty to becoming an entity and a lot of people think it's like an 166 00:11:54.340 --> 00:11:58.940 overnight thing or maybe they'll think I'll never happen for them, but I just 167 00:11:58.460 --> 00:12:01.889 is like just do it and forgive yourself. You're going to make some mistakes, 168 00:12:01.929 --> 00:12:05.049 it's going to get messy, it's going to get weird, it's may 169 00:12:05.129 --> 00:12:07.970 not look exactly like how you do it, but with each thing that you 170 00:12:09.090 --> 00:12:11.730 output, whether it's a song, whether it's like a fashion design or like 171 00:12:11.929 --> 00:12:16.360 doing makeup for drag or whatever you're going to do, you know it may 172 00:12:16.440 --> 00:12:18.120 not be the best, but it's going to be next time it's going to 173 00:12:18.159 --> 00:12:20.759 be better and it could be in the next time could be worse. But 174 00:12:20.879 --> 00:12:26.559 just know if you're consistent, consistency will always bread a good characters be your 175 00:12:26.559 --> 00:12:31.750 own fan, like even like now, every post I make on Instagram, 176 00:12:31.309 --> 00:12:35.350 I'm always the first to like it, like once I post it, I 177 00:12:35.549 --> 00:12:39.110 like it because if I even if no one comments or likes it, I'm 178 00:12:39.110 --> 00:12:41.830 going to be like, I back it. I made this art and I'm 179 00:12:41.830 --> 00:12:46.100 proud of it, so I'm always the first. Like, I have a 180 00:12:46.179 --> 00:12:48.539 phrase I always say you need to be able to cosign your own bullshit, 181 00:12:48.620 --> 00:12:52.299 and I tell that to my dry kids all the time. You may go 182 00:12:52.379 --> 00:12:54.460 out on stage, you know, knowing that it's a mess, but you 183 00:12:54.580 --> 00:12:58.850 need to sell it like it is a you know, couture garment, whatever 184 00:12:58.929 --> 00:13:01.370 the case maybe, and people love that, I think. I think more 185 00:13:01.409 --> 00:13:07.009 than ever, people value honesty and transparency and I think the cosmetic perfectness of 186 00:13:07.370 --> 00:13:11.809 life is kind of over. I think people really love to see the human 187 00:13:11.850 --> 00:13:16.759 because we've seen so much auto tune and so much perfection on TV or reality 188 00:13:16.759 --> 00:13:20.799 TV and stuff where when you see someone being a human and they're really trying, 189 00:13:20.919 --> 00:13:26.360 I think people will always connect and empathize with that. So another thing 190 00:13:26.399 --> 00:13:28.269 you said in one of the interviews. The quote is I personally think in 191 00:13:28.389 --> 00:13:33.230 artists should develop their own business practices, relationships, knowledge and crafts so that 192 00:13:33.350 --> 00:13:37.509 they can learn to be who they want to become. Have you had people 193 00:13:37.629 --> 00:13:41.190 in your life tried to change who you are and how did you deal with 194 00:13:41.309 --> 00:13:45.820 that? Yes, I think a lot of people come in, especially other 195 00:13:45.980 --> 00:13:52.580 creative business mind people will come in and they'll always have a perspective, which 196 00:13:52.620 --> 00:13:56.809 I will value a hundred percent, but there's something within an artist gut and 197 00:13:56.889 --> 00:14:01.370 they could just tell and they're like this ain't right. I'll try it, 198 00:14:01.929 --> 00:14:05.409 but it doesn't narrate well to my brand. So I've had people, you 199 00:14:05.529 --> 00:14:09.600 know, pitch music to me or even beyond set and give me ideas that 200 00:14:09.639 --> 00:14:13.200 I don't necessarily resonate with. I always want to be a person with open 201 00:14:13.240 --> 00:14:16.679 ears, but there does come a time and I think I've just because I've 202 00:14:16.679 --> 00:14:20.200 been in the game for a little bit, where I really know my brand 203 00:14:20.240 --> 00:14:24.309 and who I want to be. It's going to grow, it's going to 204 00:14:24.350 --> 00:14:26.629 be different in the future, I know that, but for now I really 205 00:14:26.750 --> 00:14:31.149 like know it. So I think just trust your gout with certain scenarios because, 206 00:14:31.710 --> 00:14:35.389 yeah, for me, people like will try to get it in and 207 00:14:35.830 --> 00:14:37.230 they'll see the work that you do and they want to put their name on 208 00:14:37.309 --> 00:14:41.019 it. In a bigger way when they really didn't do anything. But that's 209 00:14:41.059 --> 00:14:45.340 just that they'll be like, oh, I'm X Y Z and I'm like, 210 00:14:46.620 --> 00:14:50.899 prove it. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got from 211 00:14:50.899 --> 00:14:54.289 my English nature and college was that you should be mindful of what others think, 212 00:14:54.370 --> 00:14:58.649 but you should never write to please them, and I think that can 213 00:14:58.690 --> 00:15:03.250 apply to whatever type of art or you know undertaking that you wanted to apply 214 00:15:03.370 --> 00:15:05.730 to a strong sense of self is what's going to keep you grounded and going 215 00:15:05.889 --> 00:15:09.519 in this industry, and critique is wonderful, but you also have to keep 216 00:15:09.519 --> 00:15:13.799 that sense of who you are absolutely. I think knowing who you are is 217 00:15:13.879 --> 00:15:20.200 evolving, but knowing your comfort levels and really praising like what you know in 218 00:15:20.320 --> 00:15:24.190 your brand that you built, you should be confident with like never never died 219 00:15:24.230 --> 00:15:26.470 yourself. Speaking of evolving, another quote. You have an interview where you 220 00:15:26.590 --> 00:15:31.389 said I was scared to let my true art envision come to life because I 221 00:15:31.429 --> 00:15:35.230 was scared to fail, but now I am more confident than ever. Talk 222 00:15:35.309 --> 00:15:37.259 about the time in life where you were scared to fail and how you became 223 00:15:37.259 --> 00:15:41.100 who you are now. I think it was a lot of layers of things, 224 00:15:41.299 --> 00:15:45.740 one because like the output that I was doing with in my creativity wasn't 225 00:15:45.779 --> 00:15:48.059 matching what I saw in my head and that just really hurt me because, 226 00:15:48.379 --> 00:15:54.610 like I try to communicate myself and my artistic view through what I'm doing and 227 00:15:54.769 --> 00:16:00.450 it wasn't done properly and it was just getting me really irritated. And even 228 00:16:00.490 --> 00:16:04.480 even now, you know, like whether it's experiences or budget or whatever, 229 00:16:04.679 --> 00:16:07.600 there was never like kind of fully coming out there, but kind of like 230 00:16:07.720 --> 00:16:11.200 we were kind of speaking of early, of just finding your confidence within your 231 00:16:11.279 --> 00:16:17.600 flaws. Even within that past self exploration, like years ago, I was 232 00:16:17.720 --> 00:16:21.669 just growing into myself and a human being. Like I'm black, I'm Mexican 233 00:16:21.710 --> 00:16:27.549 in a Christian household, gay and primarily going to like a white school, 234 00:16:27.789 --> 00:16:33.419 but like living in in the city and like trying to find my identity with 235 00:16:33.460 --> 00:16:37.580 an all these different subcultures of who I was was really hard for me and 236 00:16:37.700 --> 00:16:41.379 I think even growing up as a teenager and adult, like I had to 237 00:16:41.500 --> 00:16:47.889 find my like place within the culture and the demographic and the you know, 238 00:16:48.009 --> 00:16:49.649 sexual identity of who I was, and it was kind of tricky and I 239 00:16:49.809 --> 00:16:55.210 it was hard for me to be confident because I didn't know that. But 240 00:16:55.690 --> 00:17:00.049 like living in Los Angeles and like seeing all these people and like seeing behind 241 00:17:00.090 --> 00:17:03.600 the Curin of like, Oh my God, I've seen you on TV or 242 00:17:03.679 --> 00:17:06.920 like Oh, I see you're like on instagram of all these followers, and 243 00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:11.079 then I've met with so many amazing people and they're like Yo, I have 244 00:17:11.240 --> 00:17:15.789 this problem or like this insecurity or x y Z, and just learning that 245 00:17:15.950 --> 00:17:18.789 all people are people and they have struggles just like me. That really like 246 00:17:19.069 --> 00:17:22.029 encourage me, not the fact that they were going through stuff, but just 247 00:17:22.190 --> 00:17:26.109 knowing that I wasn't alone and anything. And it's still true this day of 248 00:17:26.150 --> 00:17:33.140 Hollywood stars whoever like the prettiest people or most fit and like perfect skin and 249 00:17:33.220 --> 00:17:37.259 hair, like, are going through certains situations like we are. So that 250 00:17:37.380 --> 00:17:40.500 kind of just made me like, okay, forgive yourself, grow into this 251 00:17:40.579 --> 00:17:42.220 identity and just know that it's kind of evolved and you're going to get more 252 00:17:42.220 --> 00:17:48.650 and more confident. But you know, I think celebrating myself more helped with 253 00:17:48.849 --> 00:17:53.289 growing my identity of confidence, celebrating like the little things, you know, 254 00:17:53.490 --> 00:17:59.039 like I just started my youtube channel that I like have like awesome under a 255 00:17:59.119 --> 00:18:02.039 four hundred followers, but I'm like yes, killing it, killing the guy 256 00:18:03.440 --> 00:18:07.759 and like which eat each like thousand views or whatever. I'm just like celebrating. 257 00:18:08.000 --> 00:18:11.200 Well, Hey, four hundred isn't bad, if it makes you feel 258 00:18:11.200 --> 00:18:14.869 any better. While I have tons of listeners on the podcast platforms, I 259 00:18:15.150 --> 00:18:18.309 actually only have like thirteen followers on youtube, so just because youtube was really 260 00:18:18.349 --> 00:18:23.549 for podcast, but I would like a little bit more than that. I'm 261 00:18:23.950 --> 00:18:29.539 really glad that you touch on the identity stuff, because something I definitely want 262 00:18:29.539 --> 00:18:32.660 to talk about is your single don't take my life away. As we know, 263 00:18:32.859 --> 00:18:37.299 it's a very difficult and, you know, weird and interesting and in 264 00:18:37.380 --> 00:18:40.420 a good way and in bad ways time to be black and also to be 265 00:18:40.500 --> 00:18:42.650 black and gay. So I kind of want to know what inspired that song, 266 00:18:42.769 --> 00:18:45.450 where your head was at, how you came about writing it, what 267 00:18:45.650 --> 00:18:49.210 was your process? Yeah, I mean, man, that it was such 268 00:18:49.289 --> 00:18:56.279 a hard time during that week when floyd was murdered, because it's been happening 269 00:18:56.400 --> 00:19:00.359 for so long and it's just was like just it just broke, you know 270 00:19:00.519 --> 00:19:03.599 when things just really break your heart, like it really broke me, to 271 00:19:03.720 --> 00:19:07.880 be honest, when all the riots were happening and like I was here in 272 00:19:07.960 --> 00:19:12.950 La and my apartment and just like hearing helicopters and like seeing the craziness of 273 00:19:14.069 --> 00:19:18.069 it and the depth of it. It just really, really just brought this 274 00:19:18.710 --> 00:19:25.460 darkness over my whole mood, my whole energy, everything. The Sunday morning 275 00:19:25.500 --> 00:19:30.019 after that happened, I just like woke up just crying, like and I 276 00:19:30.140 --> 00:19:33.099 felt like I wasn't crying for myself. It was like because I've had a 277 00:19:33.180 --> 00:19:37.220 lot of, you know, racist scenarios that happened to me. My Dad 278 00:19:37.380 --> 00:19:44.289 has, my whole family has, my community has. So I just felt 279 00:19:44.369 --> 00:19:48.450 that like cry from like, like I call it like a cry from my 280 00:19:48.490 --> 00:19:52.480 ancestors, like I really felt it. So I ended up going to a 281 00:19:52.519 --> 00:19:57.400 bunch of Marcher marches protest. I knew I need to do something creative. 282 00:19:57.440 --> 00:20:00.599 I just didn't know what I was going to do. But during the march 283 00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:04.319 everyone was chanting. I can't breathe, I can't breathe. I was with 284 00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:08.069 a buddy and I was like this sounds like a song. So I pulled 285 00:20:08.069 --> 00:20:12.109 out my phone and voice memo that the chanting and I got into the studio 286 00:20:12.549 --> 00:20:15.869 with the producer and the crazy thing is with the process of that song, 287 00:20:17.190 --> 00:20:22.579 the entire verse is exactly what I sang the first time I've ad Lib like 288 00:20:22.819 --> 00:20:26.700 we didn't cut or added anything in terms of the Ity, you know, 289 00:20:26.779 --> 00:20:30.099 we darken the room. I was just all in my feels and I was 290 00:20:30.180 --> 00:20:33.420 just like Nanna, so I can't bring it, and it was just so 291 00:20:33.619 --> 00:20:38.569 emotional for me to like sing it and then wrote it the words the next 292 00:20:38.609 --> 00:20:42.970 day put it out like so quick because I'm just like I was inspired by 293 00:20:44.009 --> 00:20:48.490 a Nina Simon interview where she says an artist duty is to reflect the times. 294 00:20:48.529 --> 00:20:51.880 It's not a luxury to reflect the times, it's a duty for us 295 00:20:51.920 --> 00:20:56.200 to reflect the times. So I'm like it's not perfectly. My voice isn't 296 00:20:56.240 --> 00:20:59.759 perfect, like the production isn't exactly how I want it, but I'm like 297 00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:03.240 this needs to be heard from me and it's a lot of people may be 298 00:21:03.430 --> 00:21:07.430 doing their own records, but I need to do my record well. It 299 00:21:07.589 --> 00:21:10.869 is an amazing song and I can definitely hear the realness and the you know, 300 00:21:10.950 --> 00:21:14.470 the raw emotion and in that definitely comes through. One more question. 301 00:21:14.710 --> 00:21:18.420 What do you think the secret to a happy and fulfilled life is just comfort 302 00:21:18.700 --> 00:21:22.339 in your flaws. Is just a beautiful, beautiful thing. To me, 303 00:21:22.660 --> 00:21:27.339 and even your perfection could be a flaw to someone else, but it ain't 304 00:21:27.339 --> 00:21:33.930 their business. I think the the secret to happiness is really finding balance within 305 00:21:33.329 --> 00:21:37.490 the emotion of whatever you feel. Say you're mad, say you're sad, 306 00:21:37.970 --> 00:21:42.450 whatever that feeling is, let yourself feel that, but find the balance within 307 00:21:42.529 --> 00:21:48.160 yourself of contentment and knowing that it's okay to hurt, it's okay to be 308 00:21:48.319 --> 00:21:52.559 mad, it's okay whatever emotion you feel. It's okay. But just don't 309 00:21:52.759 --> 00:21:57.000 sit in that too long and don't let that cloud your vision of your journey 310 00:21:57.039 --> 00:22:00.839 and who you are and who you're meant to be. What is next for 311 00:22:00.920 --> 00:22:03.589 you? What is next for me? Well, I always just encourage people 312 00:22:03.589 --> 00:22:08.190 to follow my youtube because Youtube and Instagram I'm very, very active and I 313 00:22:08.349 --> 00:22:12.109 like I take it very serious and I'll always give the best content and you 314 00:22:12.150 --> 00:22:17.779 kind of like see into my spooky pop type mind. Where can we find 315 00:22:17.819 --> 00:22:22.180 you online? So you can find me everywhere. It's at Trent Park, 316 00:22:22.460 --> 00:22:26.059 on Instagram, at trump park, as well as Youtube. Throw me a 317 00:22:26.140 --> 00:22:29.339 DM. I love talking to people too, so well, try and thank 318 00:22:29.380 --> 00:22:32.410 you so much for coming on, sack size. It was absolutely a pleasure. 319 00:22:32.450 --> 00:22:36.970 Yes, thank you and thanks for creating this platform for artist, creatives 320 00:22:37.089 --> 00:22:40.490 and people to talk about there, there art. I think it's a very 321 00:22:40.529 --> 00:22:44.519 powerful and needed so thank you all. Right, snacks, not as all 322 00:22:44.599 --> 00:22:47.880 for today. I will see you next time. By snacks. Hey, 323 00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:52.039 snack I hope you enjoyed this episode. Snack size podcast is sponsored by twin 324 00:22:52.160 --> 00:22:57.119 cities gay scene, the online magazine for events and culture happening in the twin 325 00:22:57.200 --> 00:23:03.869 cities area. Check out my biweekly editorial snack scene, at www dot twin 326 00:23:03.950 --> 00:23:10.029 cities gay scenecom. And for more fun with this podcast, head on over 327 00:23:10.230 --> 00:23:15.140 to www dot snack size podcastcom to leave a review and follow me on my 328 00:23:15.259 --> 00:23:19.019 social media. Until next time, go be fabulous.