Transcript
WEBVTT
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Hey snacks, welcome to season two
of snacks eyes, the podcast that will
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drag you into your most fabulous life. I'm your host, Rabba Lush,
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has also known as the snack of
the twin cities, a drag queen that
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twirled her way into podcasting, and
the rest is a dream come true,
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and that's exactly what this podcast is
about, making your dreams happen for you
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fabulously. This season we are continuing
our journey in finding out what makes a
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happy and fulfilled life, going places
we've never been before. Don't forget that,
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when it comes to your potential,
the sky is the limit and it's
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never a bad time to beat you
are. Get you a snack, because
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your fabulous life starts now. Hey
snacks, I want to start off by
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saying I am so excited for this
guest for this episode. We recorded this
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interview about a month ago, and
it really says a lot that not only
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did I learn and grow from this
person while interviewing them, their words have
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really helped me with some things that
I have going on in my life right
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now. This guess was trained at
the American musical and Dramatic Academy and has
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an extensive background in beauty, entertainment
and entrepreneurship through his book, should have,
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could have, would a and his
podcast by the same name. This
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guess aims to help his audience by
sharing things with them he wished he would
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have knew before making various choices in
life, because this guess is literally overflowing
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with wisdom. This episode is a
little longer than usual, but I guarantee
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that you will love every minute.
So, even though this is snack size,
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let's get to this full, home
cooked meal. Welcome to the show,
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Dwight Allen O'Neal. Let's give him
a call. Dwight Allen O'Neil,
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welcome to snack size. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I
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am so excited to be here.
I am so thrilled to have you.
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I read your Fabulous Book and we're
definitely going to get into that. But
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I only got to listen to one
episode of Your podcast. But when I
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tell you that that one episode I
knew that we were going to be good
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friends. It was the one where
you were talking about we now we keep
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it classy out here, so we'll
just go be the fleet and the clear
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water. Oh my God, it's
all gonna. I was at work and
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I was like, Oh, you
know, I was like, I'll just
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get it an episode of this podcast
and I was like, Oh, maybe
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this wasn't the right word. To
listen to it where that? Oh,
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I see, but I honestly I
could have turned it off I enjoyed it
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so much. So I am really
looking forward to getting into it. You
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know what snacks. I'm going to
go ahead and say it. Should.
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I couldn't word a podcast. Gotta
listen to it. Let's probably what I'll
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do all weekend. So I look
forward to two more antics of it's anything
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like the first episode, I know
it's going to be epic. I can
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that way. It really is.
Thank you so much. We're actually on
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summer HIGHAUS and I return next week
with brand new episode, so I have
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to have you on. I would
absolutely love that. I'm sure you and
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I will find all types of things
to talk about. So your new book
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should I could have would that was
kind of like a quarantine project, right.
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Yes, it was. It was
a quarantine project, but it was
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also a companion piece in general to
my podcast. So there were certain things
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that I wanted to go in more
detail with and I felt that I needed
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longer than twenty to thirty minutes.
So I decided to actually work on a
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book, which I had been trying
to write a book for many, many
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years, and it honestly just made
sense. I was locked away in my
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home and I said, you know
what, I have all this material like,
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take this shit, package it up
and make a book out of it.
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Honestly, it is packed full of
drama and advice and adventure. I
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can't remember the last time that I
read a book and actually found myself laughing
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out loud. You did such a
great job. The stories are so compelling
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and I want to talk about some
of them right now, starting with your
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childhood. So this was a really
simple sentence in the book, but it
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just really stood out to me.
You said early on in my life I
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knew I wanted two things, a
husband and my own TV show. Baby.
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I had such a vivid imagination.
So tell us about what in your
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childhood inspired your passion for Beauty,
culture and TV. Oh my God,
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so I definitely believe in reincarnation a
hundred percent, because as a kid,
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the things that I was doing or
was like adult stuff. So I remember
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me and my favorite cousin actually used
to. We used to form, and
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I'll call it drag performing reform,
and I'm the living room, like while
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our moms were at work, and
we would chart to neighborhood kids fifty cents
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to come and watch US perform,
and we would serve them cheetos on a
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platter and we would cut up lemons
and put it in water and serve water
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and so like sell this for fifty
cents. So I always wanted to be
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like on stage and like in the
spotlight, just at a young age.
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And my first husband, I got
married when I was three, by the
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way, and I'm actually had the
same babysitter and we got married in front
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of a tree and the plan was
for us to go off to Hollywood.
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I was supposed to have a hit
TV show while he went to school and
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like we had it all figured out
and see left me for Latoya at seven
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years old. I'm not for Latoya's. They're always the worst. They're the
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worst. I actually remember reading that
chapter to your book and I thought it
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really spoke to innocence and how we
can be trained to proceed that something is
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wrong, and I know that you
talked about that a little bit because nothing
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was wrong until you all got older, and then I think you went to
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church and he figured out that that
this wasn't maybe the right thing to happen.
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Yeah, so, so the interesting
thing is, like I've always been
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rooted in Churt, so my family
actually went to church all the time,
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like eve when I was younger.
His family didn't. So apparently he went
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to church one time and overheard the
message about homosexuality being wrong and came back
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and reported that to me, and
I remember saying, Zam, I remember
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this conversation so vividly. I was
like no, that's not true, like
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I go to church every Sunday.
I've never heard them say that. So
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where did you get this information from? And I was just so puzzled and
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also so dramatic. I remember like
throwing like birthday gets he gave me and
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like his overnight bag, and I
was like, I want you out of
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my house. I'd never want to
see you again, like Bernadine Wayne.
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To exhale moment. But yeah,
it was definitely it was heartbreaking for me,
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like it really was my first heartbreak
and it was the first time I
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felt that something was wrong with me. That's why my heart goes out.
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I know, if you notice,
even in my you know my dedications.
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I dedicated my book to Carl Joseph
Walker Hoover and I never even met that
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kid. But I remember watching on
Oprah many, many years ago that he
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killed himself because kids picked on him
because, oh my God, because he
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was effeminate and they just so swoomed
he was gay and told him it was
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wrong. And this little boy hung
himself. I remember watching this on Oprah
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and I cried for four hours straight
because that was my childhood. So many
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times I went home thinking something was
wrong with me. I was like this
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poor kid didn't have, you know, the Dwight or someone else to look
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up to to really inspire him and
let him know that it gets better.
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One day someone's going to love you
just the way you are. And there
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were moments when I was a kid
where I didn't want to live in more
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because I thought I was gonna,
you know, something was wrong with me
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and that was going to burn in
Hell. And I didn't kill myself because
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I was scared I was going to
hell. I just kept thinking this is
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gonna go away, this is gonna
go away, and then finally, once
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I got into my teenage years,
I was like, screw that, like
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I am who I am and if
anything, I love me. And it
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was a process that to many,
many, many years to kind of start
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thinking that way. And even as
a teenager I still didn't believe it,
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but at least I started telling myself
the story and, like they say,
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thank it to you make it.
I start telling myself that it's okay and
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it will get better, and eventually
I believed it. I write for a
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magazine called twin cities gays and I
just did an article on mental health and
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they were talking about how, especially
right now, lgbt suicide attempts and stuff
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are up by forty percent and that's
super scary. But what I think that
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people don't realize is that that is
just a common part of the LGBTQ plus
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experience, you know, having those
feelings and not knowing how to deal with
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them. It's very scary. So
when I read books like should have,
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could have, would have, one
thing that I really really like is that
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it shows a success story, it
shows someone coming out on the other side.
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So I really really appreciate that you
are been able to share your successes
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with the world in such a way
because it inspires people like me and people
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who may be struggling with something.
You talk in the early part of the
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book about being shy. How did
you overcome your shy Jene and become the
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guy who was smiling on that book
cover, because that is a huge smile.
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I was like, this person is
not shy. There's that way.
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Well, the stage mother that I
never had, I end up inheriting when
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I moved to New York and embrace
my sexuality and came at his gay.
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So Nathan said this Scot God rest
the soul, is my mentor. Who
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his the angel? He's still with
me, still guiding me. That's who
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pushed me to to write this book, even in the afterlife. He's the
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stage mother and I remember I was. I was fortunate of I produce actually
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the first black a web series by
the name of Christira Street TV, which
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was inspired by Patrick and polks noahs
Ark, which was on logo, and
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I was selected to be a part
of a film festival. I remember sitting
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next to Nathan and I was so
terrified and so nervous and so shy about
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getting up in front of the people
like to talk and like I was literally
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shaking and he was like, what's
wrong with you? And I'm like,
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never met this guy, by the
way. He's that what's wrong with you,
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and I'm like, I'm shy.
He goes all no one's shy.
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He was like, you know,
being shy is something you've made up in
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your head. It's your way of
having to not deal with people, it's
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your way of hiding. It's it's
a defense mechanism that you created in your
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mind. He said, when you
were born, no doctor told your mom
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you have an eight pound, seven
ounces baby with curly hair, Brian as
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oh, and, by the way, he shy. It's something we create
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in our mind and it took gears
of practice. It definitely took me a
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lot of I like to call them
life coach exercises he would put me through,
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for instance, when we would go
to clubs, like he would make
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me go around and collect email addresses, and not only collect email addresses,
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but also like make genuine connections with
people so that I remember who they already
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encouraged me to speak to people and
just eventually, you know, I just
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learned that, no, you're not
shy, it's just that you honestly were
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insecure you were insecure and afraid of
rejection, and that's what prevented you from
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connecting with people in real life,
in real time. I'm so glad that
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you brought up Nathan, because he's
a super important part of this book and
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I want to read this quote that
really spoke to me. It's on page
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twenty one one. He said I
was so used to people doing things to
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help me in order to help themselves. He be Nathan really did see something
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special in me, something that I
didn't see in myself. Over the next
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few months, Nathan pushed me and
challenge me in ways I had never been
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challenging. He brought me out of
my Shell and taught me how to be
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this confident, funny, outgoing brand. Not to say that I am an
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in authentic individual. However, Nathan
taught me how to really turn it on,
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even when Dwight Allen O'Neil doesn't want
to be present. So I really
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love where you say that you have
to turn it on when it's not present.
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That's such a huge part of the
entertainment industry, the culture industry,
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podcast they would have you. You
have to be able to turn it on.
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How do you do that now?
Like when you're not feeling it.
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What inspires you to turn it on? Well, many years ago, beyond
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a retired Sasha fears and I was
invited to an auction where I purchased her.
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So, no, really, yeah, I was invited his private action
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and you know, Sasha fierus,
is that for sale? And I was
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like I need a little that in
me. Oh my goodness, I'm so
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jealous. It took all my life
savings. But no, seriously, I
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honestly I kind of adopted that like
I mean because beyonce used to talk about
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how, you know, she's she
would actually say shy and she's like I
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we use Sasha fears to turn it
on, but I turn it on.
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I forced myself to, you know, be on because end the day we
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all have problems, we're all dealing
with something. But perhaps me smiling like
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the cover of that book are perhaps
me filming my podcast today, perhaps me
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hosting its this event, can add
just a little bit of joy into someone's
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life or today, and if I'm
able to do that, I've done my
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part. Life gives us a clean
sheet of paper and it's up to me
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to decide what I want to put
on it. I want to put on
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my paper things that inspire the world, things that entertain people and things that
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make them happy. And a lot
of times when I'm dealing with something and
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I force myself to turn it on, it makes me realize that what I'm
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dealing with actually isn't really that important
after all. So in your book you
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introduced a host of characters that really
seemed to influence you, both professionally and
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personally. Can you talk a bit
about the importance of who you surround yourself
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with and how that has helped you
or hurt you hear and your career in
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life? Show me your friends and
I'll show your future. My grandmother always
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told me that it's all about building
an incredible tribe. And if we're all
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on our way to to loom are, to Seattle or wherever, perhaps I
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want to take a plane, you
want to take a bus, someone else
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wants to take a train. As
long as we're all going the same direction,
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we're going to get there. So
I like to call the different modes
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of transportation different opinions. So I
don't like this around myself, where on
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people that think just like me.
I cannot stand a yes or and I
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don't trust one if they're so one
in my ear that yes, is everything
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and loves everything about me. I'm
like child. What you want? Well,
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I definitely enjoy when a someone's like, well, I want to go
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to Seattle with you, but I'm
taking the bus. All right, let's
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debate on why we're not rinding the
bus. But when you have someone in
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your tribe that you're trying to go
to Seattle and they're trying to go to
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New Mexico, that creates the problem. Like we're not trying to go to
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the same destination. So I can
admire you and respect to but we're just
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on two different journeys and that's fine. And I've been really fortunate enough that
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I have had so many people that
love me and that actually support me and
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that a real friends. And along
the way, of course I've inherited some
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people that probably shouldn't have been there, but ultimately I actually learned something from
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them, even in my acknowledgements.
Actually thank every man that ever broke my
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heart, because of it weren't for
them, I wouldn't know my worth and
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I wouldn't know what I was looking
for in true love. And what do
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I deserves so I think it's really
important to really take inventory of those individuals
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that earn your life and if your
tribe is not worthy, it's time to
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give them the boot, and it's
that easy. One of the things I
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found super interesting is that you shared
that you recently made the decision to quit
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your job and go all in on
your dreams, which I admire so much.
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Was that a difficult decision to make? Chow? Now that I quit,
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my God, three that three weeks
later we went and pandemic and so
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all like, I had a lot
of freelance work like lined up and immediately
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all they got canceled. So I'm
like Um with I'm making the right choice,
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but totally was. So my thing
is this. I've always wants to
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be an entertainer and in two thousand
and twelve I went through a semi traumatic
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experience, which I discussed in the
book, as well as a part of
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a very public scandal, and it
kind of took my drive away as far
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as wanting to be in front of
the camera, because I was popular on
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Youtube back then, and when bloggers
begin to report about the story, they
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didn't know who I was, but
the things they were saying about me was
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very hurtful. I got really upset
because I was like, you know what,
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like if they knew it was me
what? They say these things and
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then I'm like, well, why
is the gay community or the community not
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even supporting this person who they don't
even know what it is like? Why
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are we turning on them? So
kind of took my drive away. So
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I went into regular corporate America,
but every time I would meet someone new
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and they would say what do you
do? I would say I'm the global
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director for Bubba Blah, Blah Blah. But there was a little voice in
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me that would always say no,
bitch, you're an entertainer, you are
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a multimedia personality, you're a writer, you're a director, you're a producer
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and if you introduce herself to people
in that little voice won't shut the Hell
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Up. It's time to listen that
little boys. I had got into a
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situation at work where I was not
happy. I had a new boss that
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did not like me. I did
not like her. I hope she's listening
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to this because, girl, I
just have a best on the book out
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and I left you. But moving
along, I went on a business trip
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and literally like I was at a
very high executive role, like my next
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promotion was VP of this company.
And Wow, this woman legit. Every
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meeting I had, she had me
text her after I would leave a meeting
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and I'm like what, this is
like micromanaging on a whole nother level,
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like seriously, and I knew she
was only doing that because, you know,
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I'm one of those people that I
tell my business. So I tell
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them I had met this guy in
Dallas and I was excited about, you
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know, going there. I was
an extend the trip a couple days and
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hang out with him and I felt
like she kept like micromanaging to ensure I
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was there working and on the the
plane right home, I'm like you're better
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than this, like yeah, are
you dealing with this? Like you're not
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a kid, you're a grown man
and you you're such a hard worker,
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like my cells are incredible, my
entire cells team love me. I'm like
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a great manager. And I landed
the plane and I send her an email
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and I said, you know what, I can't do this anymore. And
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I said, you know, I'll
give you guys another two weeks, but
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I need to work remotely or I
just won't come back she didn't want me
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to work remotely. I said well, douces, and I walked out on
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faith because I definitely believe you create
your greatness and you manifest whatever you want
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and you teach, you train people
how to teach you. And the way
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I was treated, it was so
insulting and it was so degrading at times,
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but I just stood there and I
stayed and I'm destined to do more
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and I launched my podcast instantly.
It was successful. You caught me quarantine
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project book. Here we are.
I don't regret anything and I really do
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believe in the law of attraction and, you know, manifesting things and no
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shade, I still make the same
amount of money I made from a very
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lucrative career. Like have not missed
a beat and I am not looking back
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and I'm so proud of myself and
I'm so happy. So anyone listening,
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if you are ready to walk out
on faith and reach your goals, do
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it and you decide that you want
to do it. Don't tell all your
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friends, don't tell everyone, because
unfortunately, sometimes people love us so much
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they plant seas of doubt in our
head. So I didn't tell anyone.
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I was doing this, because they
would have been like, you're crazy like
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him. This great job, you
live in New York and just bought this
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incredible home, like, are you
going to pay your bills? And it's
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because they love you and they care
about you, but they're planning seeds of
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doubt that's preventing you from reaching your
full potential and your goals. But you
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owe it to yourself to live an
authentic life for you. You only get
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one life. Go out there and
live the best Dan life you can.
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I really, really resonated with everything
you just said. When I started drag
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I was a server and, just
like you, every time someone asked me
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a really Oh, you know,
I'm a server at Buffalo Wild Wings,
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and I was like that's just not
me. So, honestly, one day
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I just started saying I was like
I'm a drag queen, and even though
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the looks up people's faces were just
so shocked, especially in my small town
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at Indiana, it just felt better
even just taking that small step to say
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no, I'm this first, and
then this is a job I have.
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You know everything, so I definitely
get that. I actually myself. I
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actually quit my job and try to
do drag. It lasted three months,
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but what I learned from that experience
was that drag wasn't something I wanted to
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be the full thing and was it. It's a very, very, very
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important hobby, but if I had
never done that, I would never know
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that. You know exactly you have. It's my release, it's my escape
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right, and so you have to
try. And so, no matter what
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the outcome is going to be,
I want those who know you were going
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to learn something from taking that step
and that leap of faith. Right,
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and just to be clear, listeners, don't just go and quit our job
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because I said that had okay.
Clear on that. On that plane back
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to New York, I literally went
online. I researched and marketing class that
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I want to take. Three Myth
Class I finished in a week and a
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half. From that, I went
online and I did a I took a
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class on marketing. My Book.
Faith with that work is dead. So
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I put in the work. All
right, I also had a savings going
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guys, but I literally went out
and I put in the work along the
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way. So definitely have a plan. Don't just quit your job, go
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home and bumbons like you need to
quit your job and create a strategy and
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actually make it happen. If you
don't want to quit, you can at
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least start the step toward it.
I just had the personality that I'm that
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cat that's going to land on their
feet and Strut away. Definitely have a
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plan that you want to put an
action. So don't hear this and just
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go and quit your job in while
and then called me be like girl,
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I can't pay my bills, I
don't like you. Didn't hear the whole
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interview, did you? So,
speaking of a plan, a really interesting
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concept that you have in the book
is called Reverse Engineering, and the character
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grammy I thought was so sweet.
Can you talk about reverse engineering, though?
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Reverse engineering is actually something that a
former boss of mine used to always
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saying. It would drive me freaking
crazy. The easiest way to explain it
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is think of like a GPS.
So if you know you're going to be
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taking your road trip to Little Rock, Arkansas, that's where I'm from,
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you're going to actually put in that
address in the GPS, is going to
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populate all the steps is going to
take to get there. So a lot
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of times, when it comes to
creating your goals, if your goal is
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to be a talk show host,
which that's my goal. Write that down
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and then work backwards as to what
you need to be doing to get there.
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So I want to be a talk
show host. The first thing I
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thought I should do is get a
podcast, so I started with a podcast.
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The next thing, I need to
release a book, so I released
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a book. The next thing I
need to do daily hosting so that I
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can practice. So it's really working
backwards to figure out what steps it takes
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to get to where you ultimately want
to go. You can reverse engineer anything
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from relationships to getting a new house, to buying a new shoe to going
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on a vacation. You just really
just pick out your in goal and you
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work backwards and planning out the steps
that's going to take to achieve that goal.
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That's an amazing concept. I think
that you can really do that with
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anything, like even simple stuff in
your life. That's amazing and it works.
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It totally works. He'll cleaning your
house. I need the whole house.
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Lame where I'm on the start.
All Right, okay, what do
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I hate doing most? The bathroom. Let's start there. You know,
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and I honestly I'm proved like you, couldn't have told me this time last
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year that I would have left my
very lucrative career and I would be following
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my dream and not missing a beat
and not worried about how am I going
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to pay my bills, because I'm
following my passion, and not very many
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people can say that. And it
happened because I planned it out and I
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actually had faith and I believe in
it and I've had people like you that
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have allowed me to even come and
just, you know, share my experience
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and promote myself in such a unique
way. So thank you for even having
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me here today. Really move the
world to me. Let Me Tell You,
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the pleasure is all mine. Speaking
of things that we have in common,
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I've have the you and I both
don't like to hear the word no,
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and a really powerful quote from the
book is you said truth be told.
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In Life, you will hear more
nose than guesses. It's just the
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fact just because you hear it doesn't
mean you are a bad person, untalented
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or won't be successful. Can Do
you have any advice for people who are
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in that stage in their career where
they're dealing with the nose and they haven't
369
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gotten their yest. Yet don't take
nose personal. Really Dun't. And I
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think it was really helpful because I
went to school for Music Theater and at
371
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this one teacher like he was the
rudest thing on earth and the planet,
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like we just evil and I could
not stand him. And it's so funny
373
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because I went to school for musical
theater and I grew up like a straight
374
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a student, but I struggle through
college and my dad was like how the
375
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hell are you in school for acting
and you're like barely making it, and
376
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I'm like, I have no idea, like I was the most talented person
377
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back come in Arkansas. I was
the drama club. And you know when
378
00:23:22.579 --> 00:23:26.299
he gave me my review, because
I'm also really bad at hiding facials expressions.
379
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Hence our BEF that chapter. So
I was given him a serious face
380
00:23:30.970 --> 00:23:34.089
of our BEF, which it wasn't
just our BF. I really was upset
381
00:23:34.130 --> 00:23:37.970
behind it because I didn't like the
feedback and he said something so powerful to
382
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me. He said, you know, I'm hard on you so that when
383
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you go audition for your first Broadway
show and you don't get it, I
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00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:48.440
don't have to look at the freaking
news and see you standing on the side
385
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of the Brooklyn Bridge jumping because of
rejection. So he really got as used
386
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to hearing no so that when we
got on the real world we heard it.
387
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It's like, you know what,
that's fine, it's okay, there
388
00:24:00.430 --> 00:24:06.029
are other roles or other opportunities,
but ultimately you can't take it personal.
389
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A lot of times you don't get
things, not necessarily because you're not talented,
390
00:24:10.180 --> 00:24:12.380
not necessarily because you're not smart enough, not necessarily because you don't have
391
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the skill set, but it's really
because they had something in mind. So
392
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we can't take it personal. Tier
banks as at this like you know,
393
00:24:19.380 --> 00:24:22.660
keep going into you hear yes.
It only takes one yest to really break
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up in that door for you.
So just keep going, stay inspired and
395
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don't take it personal. I always
believe that you say yes to yourself first,
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and I'm can clearly see the two've
done that. Do you remember your
397
00:24:33.369 --> 00:24:37.490
first yes and how did it feel? Oh my God, my first yes.
398
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I remember when I was in second
grade, I got the opportunity to
399
00:24:41.680 --> 00:24:45.359
play young Martin Luther King Jr and
wow, I remember. Yeah, so
400
00:24:45.440 --> 00:24:48.480
it was him when he was a
little boy, when he first realized that
401
00:24:48.519 --> 00:24:51.960
he was different, that he was
black, and me and my best friend
402
00:24:52.359 --> 00:24:56.789
Sydney were up for the part and
like this is when I knew, like
403
00:24:56.509 --> 00:25:00.549
I have drive and determination, because
that part was like I was a I
404
00:25:00.710 --> 00:25:04.430
was a dog and that would part
was a piece of meat and I wanted
405
00:25:04.470 --> 00:25:10.220
it and I remember it us like
reading up against each other and this this
406
00:25:10.619 --> 00:25:14.859
inner like drive and determination was coming
out of me and when I got the
407
00:25:14.980 --> 00:25:18.980
part, you would have thought I
had just got a part for an NBC,
408
00:25:18.259 --> 00:25:23.650
you know, pilot, little kid. I remember once I did my
409
00:25:23.809 --> 00:25:26.890
first like you know, real acting
world role where I was actually in a
410
00:25:27.410 --> 00:25:30.890
wide ay Stinger powers drink commercial.
Do you remember that drink? Why?
411
00:25:30.890 --> 00:25:33.690
Day Stinger? It was like Red
Bull Back A. Yeah, so I
412
00:25:33.769 --> 00:25:37.799
was in a commercial for that and
my second grade teacher, who directed it,
413
00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:40.599
reached out and she goes, you've
always had talent, and I was
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00:25:40.720 --> 00:25:41.920
like Oh, thank you. She
goes no, like you really actually were
415
00:25:41.960 --> 00:25:47.000
entertaining as a kid and that play, and I was like really, she
416
00:25:47.119 --> 00:25:49.029
was like yeah, like we laugh
for real. So this is really meant
417
00:25:49.069 --> 00:25:52.470
a lat full circle moment. I'm
glad you bought it back to your childhood
418
00:25:52.549 --> 00:25:56.230
because in the book you talked about
wanting to be popular in high school and
419
00:25:56.349 --> 00:26:00.990
even mentioning craving other people's approval,
but today it seems like the ture living
420
00:26:02.029 --> 00:26:04.339
life on your own terms. What
advice would you have for people that maybe
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00:26:04.500 --> 00:26:08.579
care too much about what other people
think of them? You could be popular
422
00:26:08.579 --> 00:26:12.059
in your own world if you don't
get out your ipod. I'm sorry,
423
00:26:12.220 --> 00:26:15.900
Oh God, I said Ipide Pool. Out Your Apple Iphone, go to
424
00:26:17.059 --> 00:26:21.730
itunes and you better pull up one
of my favorite songs ever. Pull up
425
00:26:21.769 --> 00:26:26.930
job breakers. You who? You
know the scene where they're walking down the
426
00:26:26.930 --> 00:26:30.170
hallway? Uh Huh, the slow
emotion? Put that on, put your
427
00:26:30.210 --> 00:26:33.279
headphones on and Strut down the hallway
and down the street. Yeah, and
428
00:26:33.400 --> 00:26:38.000
that your own Queen, be of
your war, of your life. May
429
00:26:38.079 --> 00:26:41.440
Be Your own Queen, be the
only in your world. And it took
430
00:26:41.480 --> 00:26:47.549
me honestly realizing that I don't need
the validation of anyone else. I know
431
00:26:47.670 --> 00:26:49.910
I'm great, I know I'm awesome, and that's all that matters. And
432
00:26:51.150 --> 00:26:55.150
did it take a long time to
get there? Absolutely do. I still
433
00:26:55.190 --> 00:26:56.950
look in the mirror and be like, Hey, I might going to lose
434
00:26:56.990 --> 00:27:00.150
a pound of to. I do, but then I also remember that,
435
00:27:00.309 --> 00:27:03.740
you know what, I love all
of me. And something I read recently
436
00:27:03.859 --> 00:27:06.859
that's been really helpful that I've been
telling a lot of people with life coaching
437
00:27:07.500 --> 00:27:10.819
is when you're down or hard in
yourself, you should take a picture of
438
00:27:10.859 --> 00:27:12.900
yourself in the mirror when you were
four years old, because a lot of
439
00:27:12.980 --> 00:27:17.329
times we're the meanest ourselves and we're
getting dressed in the mornings and when you
440
00:27:17.369 --> 00:27:21.809
look at that picture you'll want to
talk to that person. We're never mean
441
00:27:21.849 --> 00:27:25.289
to kids. We empower kids,
we inspire them, we're nice to them.
442
00:27:25.650 --> 00:27:27.650
So speak to yourself as if you're
that four year old and not be
443
00:27:27.809 --> 00:27:30.880
so hard on yourself. Would you
ever tell a four year old that they're
444
00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:33.279
overweight? You wouldn't, or if
you did, you need to be hit.
445
00:27:34.279 --> 00:27:37.319
You would find a kind way,
you know. So we have to
446
00:27:37.319 --> 00:27:40.599
be kinder to ourselves. So I'M
gonna get to my last question. I
447
00:27:40.720 --> 00:27:42.720
asked all my guests this. In
your own words, what do you think
448
00:27:42.839 --> 00:27:47.789
the secret to a happy and fulfilled
life is? The secret to a happy
449
00:27:47.910 --> 00:27:55.309
and fulfilled life is honestly learning that
you create everything. You are the master
450
00:27:55.470 --> 00:28:00.019
of your universe. You are the
creator of your everything. So the minute
451
00:28:00.059 --> 00:28:03.099
that you tap into that power and
realize that I can create happiness, I
452
00:28:03.180 --> 00:28:07.819
can create sadness, I can create
joy, I can create love, when
453
00:28:07.819 --> 00:28:11.660
you realize you have that power,
that's the secret. It's unlogged. I
454
00:28:11.859 --> 00:28:14.650
challenge people to just, you know, take a moment. I know it
455
00:28:14.730 --> 00:28:17.809
sounds like super light hippie but like
when you wake up in the morning,
456
00:28:18.289 --> 00:28:22.329
like start just giving gratitude and thanking
the universe for everything around you, or
457
00:28:22.369 --> 00:28:26.970
thanking God for everything that he's blessed
you with. And I'm also that person,
458
00:28:26.089 --> 00:28:29.640
like I'm definitely I have a really
close relationship with God, but I
459
00:28:29.720 --> 00:28:32.480
talk to God like I'm talking to
you, because in the day God knows
460
00:28:32.519 --> 00:28:36.319
when I'm doing some Shady Shit and
God knows and I'm doing right. God
461
00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:38.279
saw me when I was having sex
before mayor. He was there. So
462
00:28:38.440 --> 00:28:42.390
I don't talk to him like you
know, he's my friend. So I'm
463
00:28:42.470 --> 00:28:45.430
like, you know, God,
thank you for this, this and this,
464
00:28:45.670 --> 00:28:47.990
but you know, I'm not happier
that extra way. I put all
465
00:28:48.029 --> 00:28:51.910
what we gonna do about that?
But yeah, I think you know really
466
00:28:51.910 --> 00:28:56.420
learning that you know everything that we
ever would want our desire. It's already
467
00:28:56.420 --> 00:29:00.819
here on earth and it's about US
manifesting it. And when you realize you
468
00:29:00.900 --> 00:29:04.819
have that power. And I am
a witness. I walked away from a
469
00:29:04.940 --> 00:29:07.420
job and like, still living.
It's not the first time. I just
470
00:29:07.460 --> 00:29:11.450
quit a job, like I'll quit
anything. I'll quit a relationship or job
471
00:29:11.490 --> 00:29:15.369
in a minute. I don't say
I'm her happy. Yeah, I think
472
00:29:15.369 --> 00:29:21.089
that's the secret. Absolutely. Tell
us what is next for Dwight Allen O'Neal?
473
00:29:21.450 --> 00:29:23.480
Oh Wow, so next for me? You're actually going to be exclusive.
474
00:29:23.960 --> 00:29:26.599
So this is an exclusit of no
one knows this. I actually ain't
475
00:29:26.640 --> 00:29:32.039
the deal. This week I'm actually
in the process of creating a documentary around
476
00:29:32.359 --> 00:29:37.640
the porn industry. It's actors of
color, so the titles tinsive. So
477
00:29:37.759 --> 00:29:41.789
I'm working with huge porn star d'angel
Jackson. So that's something really big I'm
478
00:29:41.789 --> 00:29:48.990
working on right now. Also,
I host a daily broadcast on biggo called
479
00:29:48.029 --> 00:29:52.980
in the closet with Dwight. And
Yeah, I'm doing this virtual book tour.
480
00:29:52.059 --> 00:29:55.980
Hopefully I'll get a chance to do
something in person really soon so that
481
00:29:55.980 --> 00:29:57.619
I can meet people and actually sign
their book. Yeah, that's what's next
482
00:29:57.660 --> 00:30:02.140
for me. That's amazing. So
we can get your book on Amazon?
483
00:30:02.180 --> 00:30:07.289
Yes, and then your podcast is
what platform? Yes, my podcast is
484
00:30:07.609 --> 00:30:11.930
everywhere. It's on spotify, apple, podcast, just we're all major podcasts
485
00:30:11.970 --> 00:30:15.930
are. It's entitled should, I
Coulda Wood. A new episode every Wednesday.
486
00:30:17.210 --> 00:30:19.130
So I'm excited to listen to shit. I could have would and,
487
00:30:19.369 --> 00:30:22.880
if you all are not on Amazon
right now, type it in Shit,
488
00:30:22.920 --> 00:30:29.559
I coulda would. I absolutely love
this book and just from one Black Gamail
489
00:30:29.680 --> 00:30:33.519
to another, thank you for sharing
your voice and writing our story so that
490
00:30:33.640 --> 00:30:36.589
it's a part of the history and
Oh, thank you so much. It
491
00:30:36.710 --> 00:30:40.230
means the world to me that you
enjoyed it and I can't wait to meet
492
00:30:40.269 --> 00:30:42.990
you in person because I just feel
like we would be amazing friends. We
493
00:30:44.069 --> 00:30:45.630
have to go out for, you
know, mimosas. All right, sex.
494
00:30:45.710 --> 00:30:48.670
Thank you for listening and thank you
dry again for being on the show.
495
00:30:48.829 --> 00:30:52.500
We will talk to you later.
By by, Hey, snack I
496
00:30:52.619 --> 00:30:57.660
hope you enjoyed this episode. Snack
size podcast is sponsored by twin cities gay
497
00:30:57.779 --> 00:31:03.779
scene, the online magazine for events
and culture happening in the twin cities area.
498
00:31:03.259 --> 00:31:11.529
Check out my biweekly editorial snack scene
at www dot twin cities gay scenecom
499
00:31:11.089 --> 00:31:17.329
and for more fun with this podcast, head on over to www dot snack
500
00:31:17.450 --> 00:31:22.599
size podcastcom to leave a review and
follow me on my social media. Until
501
00:31:22.680 --> 00:31:23.920
next time, go be fabulous.