"Wafflin' Around" with Taylor James

WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:05.080 Hey snacks, welcome to season two of snacks eyes, the podcast that will 2 00:00:05.080 --> 00:00:09.750 drag you into your most fabulous life. I'm your host, lava Lushes, 3 00:00:09.990 --> 00:00:13.910 also known as the snack of the twin cities, a drag queen that twirled 4 00:00:13.910 --> 00:00:18.230 her way into podcasting, and the rest is a dream come true, and 5 00:00:18.510 --> 00:00:24.899 that's exactly what this podcast is about, making your dreams happen for you fabulously. 6 00:00:25.420 --> 00:00:29.059 This season, we are continuing our journey in finding out what makes a 7 00:00:29.179 --> 00:00:33.899 happy and fulfilled life, going places we've never been before. Don't forget that, 8 00:00:34.020 --> 00:00:37.929 when it comes to your potential, the sky is the limit and it's 9 00:00:38.049 --> 00:00:41.409 never a bad time to be who you are. Get you a snack, 10 00:00:41.490 --> 00:00:55.759 because your fabulous life starts now. Hey snacks, welcome to season two of 11 00:00:55.880 --> 00:01:00.240 snacks eyes. I am so excited for the topics and the guests we are 12 00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:03.239 going to cover this season and, as always, I thank you for being 13 00:01:03.430 --> 00:01:07.549 on this journey with me. On this episode, I am going to bring 14 00:01:07.590 --> 00:01:10.870 on a guess and we are going to talk about mental health. I want 15 00:01:10.870 --> 00:01:15.430 to say that mental health is absolutely something that should be talked about. Speaking 16 00:01:15.469 --> 00:01:19.739 of about your mental health is an essential part of living a happy and fulfilled 17 00:01:19.780 --> 00:01:23.459 life. While I hope this episode starts a conversation in your life about men 18 00:01:23.659 --> 00:01:29.980 mental health, neither myself nor my guests are professionals. If you or someone 19 00:01:30.060 --> 00:01:34.530 you love is having a mental health crisis, please do not hesitate to get 20 00:01:34.569 --> 00:01:40.290 professional help. One resource is the substance abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 21 00:01:40.689 --> 00:01:44.810 and they can be reached twenty four hours a day at one eight hundred six 22 00:01:45.010 --> 00:01:49.959 to to help. This service is free, confidential and they will hope you 23 00:01:49.040 --> 00:01:53.879 find help in your area. Again, that's one eight hundred six to to 24 00:01:55.439 --> 00:01:59.480 help. So my first guest for season two is actually my first friend in 25 00:01:59.560 --> 00:02:02.150 the podcasting world. He lives all the way in Coventry, England, and 26 00:02:02.349 --> 00:02:07.950 hosts a podcast called the waffle shop, which is focused on conversations about mental 27 00:02:07.989 --> 00:02:10.629 health. In addition to be in a rock star host, this guest knows 28 00:02:10.669 --> 00:02:15.460 how to party and loves his concerts. He's seen everyone from pitfull to eminem 29 00:02:15.580 --> 00:02:21.340 to beyonce. However, behind his huge smile, life has presented some really 30 00:02:21.419 --> 00:02:24.219 difficult challenges that he has had to overcome, and I want my listeners, 31 00:02:24.259 --> 00:02:29.819 who may be facing their own challenges to hear his story. Welcome to snack 32 00:02:29.939 --> 00:02:36.490 size. Mr Taylor James. Let's give him a call. Hi, Taylor, 33 00:02:36.530 --> 00:02:38.409 welcome to sack s eye. Thank you so much for having me. 34 00:02:40.330 --> 00:02:44.960 For those of you who don't know, Taylor gave me my international debut in 35 00:02:45.039 --> 00:02:49.719 the US on his podcast, the waffle shop podcast, which is one of 36 00:02:49.800 --> 00:02:53.000 my absolute favorite podcast and I hear it's doing really well over there. You're 37 00:02:53.080 --> 00:02:58.479 like charting and everything. Let's stop it, you red nose. Yeah, 38 00:02:58.949 --> 00:03:00.550 it's kind of bizarre, to be honest. I mean you were like the 39 00:03:00.590 --> 00:03:06.710 final guests on my first ever season of it and for me having someone you 40 00:03:06.830 --> 00:03:08.949 know like yourself, for you know, it was insane because if oh my 41 00:03:08.990 --> 00:03:14.300 God, this is incredible. Now I've got my first international guests, and 42 00:03:14.500 --> 00:03:19.699 then people started getting interested, people started kind of getting involved and then it's 43 00:03:19.780 --> 00:03:23.539 just kind of now turned into this kind of I don't even know, like 44 00:03:23.699 --> 00:03:27.770 it's I'm very proud of it, very, very proud of it. So, 45 00:03:28.129 --> 00:03:30.370 for a my listeners that haven't listened to the waffle shout, Tell Abou's 46 00:03:30.409 --> 00:03:34.449 a bit about your Shell and explain. We're having a waffle me and I 47 00:03:34.530 --> 00:03:37.770 have to explain, because I think everyone thinks when they hit the waffle shop 48 00:03:37.849 --> 00:03:45.159 that immediately I either sell waffles or I make them. But in the UK 49 00:03:45.400 --> 00:03:50.080 we have this kind of slang term when someone's talking to much or they're kind 50 00:03:50.120 --> 00:03:53.360 of just, you know, talking a lot of rubbish. We tend to 51 00:03:53.439 --> 00:03:55.550 say like old, they're waffling, they're waffling on. So that, for 52 00:03:55.669 --> 00:04:00.389 me, especially if I've had a beer, is something that I tend to 53 00:04:00.469 --> 00:04:02.430 do. I could waffle all day, every day, no matter who you 54 00:04:02.550 --> 00:04:05.590 are. And then the shop part came to me. When you know, 55 00:04:05.830 --> 00:04:09.710 the shop is somewhere where you go to get your necessities. It goes, 56 00:04:09.750 --> 00:04:11.939 you know, you get what you need from it. So it was just 57 00:04:12.060 --> 00:04:15.379 like the waffle shops. So seen what I've seen a view from social media, 58 00:04:15.420 --> 00:04:18.860 because we've never met. You seem to be such a very, very 59 00:04:18.939 --> 00:04:24.449 happy person. You're a very vibrant life. It's awesome. How did you 60 00:04:24.649 --> 00:04:28.970 arrive and choosing mental health as the topic for your podcast? So I think 61 00:04:29.370 --> 00:04:31.850 exactly what you kind of just said then about like you know, like on 62 00:04:32.009 --> 00:04:34.930 social media it looks like I'm very happy and you know, I've got this 63 00:04:35.009 --> 00:04:39.199 virant lifestyle. Like I feel like social media does that, you know, 64 00:04:39.279 --> 00:04:43.759 like you you see what the person wants you to see. But I never 65 00:04:43.839 --> 00:04:49.000 understood mental health. I didn't ever experience it up until three years ago when 66 00:04:49.079 --> 00:04:53.790 I nearly lost my mom to an operation gone wrong. In a matter of 67 00:04:53.949 --> 00:04:59.189 hours, my whole life was no traumatically change direction. You know, I 68 00:04:59.230 --> 00:05:00.709 didn't know whether my mom was going to live. I had to become a 69 00:05:00.709 --> 00:05:04.430 father figure to my younger sister, had all these responsibilities like, you know, 70 00:05:04.629 --> 00:05:09.019 owning a house, you know, keeping my career go in and basically 71 00:05:09.579 --> 00:05:13.579 I'd slowly but surely, with being in and out of hospital and trying to 72 00:05:13.620 --> 00:05:16.860 keep everything going, I was slowly running myself down into the ground and then 73 00:05:17.300 --> 00:05:20.649 in January of this year it kind of took me to a place that I 74 00:05:20.930 --> 00:05:24.810 hope to God I never go back to because I just I just didn't want 75 00:05:24.850 --> 00:05:28.930 to live that life anymore. For me, I couldn't see a way out 76 00:05:28.970 --> 00:05:31.129 of it. That that's the head space that I was in. That's curious. 77 00:05:31.170 --> 00:05:34.490 How is your mom doing now? So she's doing great, like she's 78 00:05:34.610 --> 00:05:39.600 obviously she's in a rehabilitation home and she's and in how to kind of like 79 00:05:39.920 --> 00:05:44.920 walk, talk, user hands and now you know she's had coronavirus, which 80 00:05:45.040 --> 00:05:47.959 was fun, but she's beat that again, like she's incredibly strong, resilient 81 00:05:48.040 --> 00:05:51.430 woman and, you know, it's where I take a lot of my inspiration 82 00:05:51.470 --> 00:05:55.870 from. You know, I was experiencing, you know, anxiety, I 83 00:05:55.910 --> 00:05:59.629 did. I'd never even heard of like post traumatic stress, you know, 84 00:05:59.990 --> 00:06:02.589 anything like that, until I reached out and got the help that I needed. 85 00:06:02.949 --> 00:06:08.220 And then, obviously that's where the podcast kind of started, because I 86 00:06:08.379 --> 00:06:12.339 was having these therapy sessions to get me, you know, to process kind 87 00:06:12.339 --> 00:06:15.259 of like what had happened. And then covid happened, so I could no 88 00:06:15.379 --> 00:06:18.250 longer have these therapy sessions. You know, the therapist that I was so 89 00:06:18.529 --> 00:06:23.449 lucky to get, you know, went into lockdown. So I either stop 90 00:06:23.769 --> 00:06:28.050 and go backwards or I keep talking about it and getting things off my chest. 91 00:06:28.170 --> 00:06:31.209 And now I'm sat here, you know, six months on, feeling 92 00:06:31.250 --> 00:06:33.759 like a completely different person. You know, I get to speak to some 93 00:06:33.920 --> 00:06:38.839 incredible people, you know, about their own journeys, their own mental health, 94 00:06:38.879 --> 00:06:41.319 and it's making me feel like, well, okay, well, you 95 00:06:41.399 --> 00:06:44.480 know, I'm okay for feeling like this. I'm not kind of beating myself 96 00:06:44.560 --> 00:06:46.709 up, I'm not kind of, you know, feeling like I'm the only 97 00:06:46.829 --> 00:06:50.509 person who's dealing with this when there's so many people out there from all different 98 00:06:50.550 --> 00:06:54.709 walks of life and you know, we're all experience in the same things and 99 00:06:55.069 --> 00:06:58.670 it's changed my life. You would say that in January that was like a 100 00:06:58.709 --> 00:07:01.139 rap badom period for you and life. Hundred percent. I didn't see a 101 00:07:01.180 --> 00:07:05.300 way out in January. When did you start seeing a way out? It 102 00:07:05.420 --> 00:07:09.300 was when I reached out to one of my best friends, I reached out 103 00:07:09.300 --> 00:07:11.980 to my little sister, and I was just like, look on something, 104 00:07:12.060 --> 00:07:15.540 Ne's happened, like I'm I will find a joke and anything. That's my 105 00:07:15.660 --> 00:07:17.689 biggest mechanism is like I will bum a bit of a joker when it comes 106 00:07:17.730 --> 00:07:20.889 to stuff like that. And then it got to a stage where I wasn't 107 00:07:20.930 --> 00:07:24.850 even laughing, I wasn't joking, like I just I was kind of dead 108 00:07:24.889 --> 00:07:27.290 behind the eyes. But yeah, it was. It was for sure a 109 00:07:28.329 --> 00:07:31.360 rock bottom moment. There seems to be a stigma about talking about mental health, 110 00:07:31.360 --> 00:07:35.439 especially among men, and I what I noticed is that on your podcast 111 00:07:35.560 --> 00:07:40.720 you interview a lot of milk guests. On your show. Was Mental Health 112 00:07:40.759 --> 00:07:43.319 at one point hard for you to talk about, and do you find that 113 00:07:43.439 --> 00:07:46.350 it's hard to talk about among other men. You'd be the interviewed or, 114 00:07:46.389 --> 00:07:47.990 you know, you have US friends, anything like that. Yeah, I 115 00:07:48.110 --> 00:07:51.670 mean even now, like with my, you know, my male friends, 116 00:07:51.709 --> 00:07:56.829 like it's something that we don't really talk about and it's kind of being a 117 00:07:56.949 --> 00:07:59.699 man, you expected to be have this like, you know, this kind 118 00:07:59.740 --> 00:08:01.980 of bravado, like everything's okay, I'm the man of the House. So 119 00:08:03.100 --> 00:08:05.579 that was like an act edder, like added an extra layer of like Oh, 120 00:08:05.660 --> 00:08:09.939 you know, like responsibility, like I can't look upset. It's it 121 00:08:09.060 --> 00:08:15.209 doesn't look good if I cry and it's all like sorry if it's wearing. 122 00:08:15.250 --> 00:08:18.250 But it's all bullshit. It's like you can't go through life pretending everything is 123 00:08:18.329 --> 00:08:22.009 okay. Do you feel more secure in your mask, let any now that 124 00:08:22.089 --> 00:08:26.160 you have opened up? See, I hate this quest kind of question because 125 00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:31.600 I was raised by women, so it's quite strange for me to kind of 126 00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:37.759 feel masculine, if that's fair to say. Yeah, because I've never known 127 00:08:37.799 --> 00:08:41.710 any different. But it wasn't until kind of like the podcast and seeing like 128 00:08:41.789 --> 00:08:45.750 the way, you know, like male members of my family of kind of 129 00:08:45.870 --> 00:08:48.950 behaved with, you know, watching their sister go through what they have and 130 00:08:48.190 --> 00:08:52.110 I just feel like, would you know what? I'm so grateful I was 131 00:08:52.470 --> 00:08:56.220 raised by women because I have this kind of wide view of how, like 132 00:08:56.340 --> 00:09:00.419 the world works and stuff like that. But I see it in my friends 133 00:09:00.500 --> 00:09:01.220 like Oh, you know, I've got friends who are like, you know, 134 00:09:01.379 --> 00:09:05.059 football players, they you know, Avid Jim Goers. You know, 135 00:09:05.139 --> 00:09:07.419 there's this kind of like it's almost like an act, because then when you 136 00:09:07.539 --> 00:09:11.570 get them like one on one and they're very much like, oh, yeah, 137 00:09:11.570 --> 00:09:13.250 you know, I don't agree with this, I don't like this, 138 00:09:13.370 --> 00:09:15.970 I you know, this makes me feel uncomfortable. You know, we're living 139 00:09:15.970 --> 00:09:18.409 in this whole generation of like everyone she's trying to breathe be someone else. 140 00:09:20.049 --> 00:09:20.929 I mean, I'm probably saying that to the wrong person, Eider, when 141 00:09:20.929 --> 00:09:26.639 I'm talking to a drag queen, but in the general sense, with all 142 00:09:26.759 --> 00:09:31.440 the interviews that you've done, what are things that you learned about mental health 143 00:09:31.440 --> 00:09:35.200 that you didn't know before having this badcast? One thing that completely taught me 144 00:09:35.320 --> 00:09:39.509 by surprise is that everyone, at some part of their lives, no matter 145 00:09:39.590 --> 00:09:46.190 how old they are, will all face a mental health challenge or issue. 146 00:09:46.669 --> 00:09:48.350 Some of them, you know, don't realizing that they I mean I didn't 147 00:09:48.350 --> 00:09:52.470 realize I was having panic attacks and anxiety. I just thought it was like 148 00:09:52.750 --> 00:09:56.100 I had a dodgy stomach, you know, like my hands were like sweaty, 149 00:09:56.340 --> 00:09:58.460 like you know. There was there's so many different factors and it wasn't 150 00:09:58.460 --> 00:10:05.220 until I actually educated myself around mental health that was slowly started to understand why 151 00:10:05.259 --> 00:10:09.409 I was behave in a certain way. I think the biggest thing that's missing 152 00:10:09.529 --> 00:10:13.090 from mental health is the education, and that's the biggest but if I think 153 00:10:13.090 --> 00:10:15.370 it's the biggest problem in anything, you know, whether it's, you know, 154 00:10:15.850 --> 00:10:18.250 race, gender, anything like that, it's the lack of education. 155 00:10:20.009 --> 00:10:24.559 Well, I think that this is a particularly under educated subject for the general 156 00:10:24.679 --> 00:10:28.399 public because no one wants to talk about it. Race, we are finally 157 00:10:28.440 --> 00:10:31.559 getting into conversation. Gender, we are finally getting into conversations, but there 158 00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:37.509 seems to be something about mental health that people won't talk about. We will 159 00:10:37.509 --> 00:10:41.950 go out of our way to fix ourselves cosmetically, but like our most important 160 00:10:41.990 --> 00:10:46.029 part of our body, which is our brain, really will just let go 161 00:10:46.389 --> 00:10:50.419 and we ignore things and it's very important to talk about it's very important to 162 00:10:50.899 --> 00:10:54.379 have podcasts like yours, where the education is out there, and even if 163 00:10:54.419 --> 00:11:00.940 it's not just the education, just witnessing people having discussions about it promotes so 164 00:11:01.139 --> 00:11:03.529 much positivity and health for people. Even from when, you know, I 165 00:11:03.649 --> 00:11:07.970 had you on the show when you were talking about any like confidence and like 166 00:11:07.129 --> 00:11:11.330 what drag has done for you. And there is so much by just listening. 167 00:11:11.889 --> 00:11:16.610 We're living in this generation where people are talking at each other but no 168 00:11:16.730 --> 00:11:20.360 one's listen. In I never in a millionaires expected to speaking to yourself, 169 00:11:20.360 --> 00:11:24.480 you know, a drag queen from Minnesota, but from what myself and even 170 00:11:24.559 --> 00:11:28.120 my dad took from that conversation was that like be yourself, you know, 171 00:11:28.559 --> 00:11:31.120 you know, get yourself out your comfort zone. You know, there's so 172 00:11:31.159 --> 00:11:37.110 many different lessons that you can learn just by listening. What are your goals 173 00:11:37.230 --> 00:11:39.789 and dreams? I think it sounds really teasy block. I just want to 174 00:11:39.870 --> 00:11:46.509 see my mom and my sister happy, and then my goal for myself is 175 00:11:46.629 --> 00:11:50.059 just to kind of find what makes me happy. We're living in this hole 176 00:11:50.179 --> 00:11:52.460 again generation of like, you know, you'd turn this age and should have 177 00:11:52.500 --> 00:11:56.419 a house, she should have a child, you should have this, that 178 00:11:56.500 --> 00:12:00.419 another, and I'm just not interested in that. So I'm on this bit 179 00:12:00.460 --> 00:12:03.450 of a mission and the minute, you know, with the podcasts and you 180 00:12:03.529 --> 00:12:07.649 know various other aspects of my life that I'm just trying to find what actually 181 00:12:07.690 --> 00:12:11.769 makes me happy. Were we call it over here, is the American dream 182 00:12:11.889 --> 00:12:13.809 with the House and the kids and the white picked fence. Yeah, and 183 00:12:15.529 --> 00:12:20.600 that cookie cutter dream isn't for everybody and it's so ingrained in you as you 184 00:12:20.720 --> 00:12:22.320 grow up and as you develop in the world that that's what you want, 185 00:12:22.600 --> 00:12:28.720 and I want to encourage people to feel the security to challenge that and go 186 00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:31.190 find from definitely happy. The other thing I want people to notice is that 187 00:12:31.590 --> 00:12:35.350 you are definitely doing something about it. So many people say I want more 188 00:12:35.870 --> 00:12:39.429 and I, you know, want this, but then if they never actually 189 00:12:39.509 --> 00:12:43.299 do it. I watched your park cast grow from just something really small to 190 00:12:43.620 --> 00:12:48.259 charting on self help and, you know, getting attention from all types of 191 00:12:48.379 --> 00:12:52.059 UK celebrities and it's awesome and it happened really quickly, just like it did 192 00:12:52.139 --> 00:12:54.460 for me, you know, and so that really it's just that small step 193 00:12:54.820 --> 00:12:58.730 of taking like that, one tiny step toward your dream, and then the 194 00:12:58.809 --> 00:13:01.610 rest will really fall yeah place, and I don't want people to be afraid 195 00:13:01.610 --> 00:13:03.529 to do that, but I think you're a huge example of that, and 196 00:13:03.649 --> 00:13:07.450 it's you were probably the first person I'd actually something clicked with the podcast. 197 00:13:07.490 --> 00:13:09.250 I was like, Oh my God, okay, well, I need to 198 00:13:09.929 --> 00:13:13.279 you know, all these people like I was scared to reach out to I 199 00:13:13.399 --> 00:13:16.360 was scared to kind of take control of the podcast, I was scared to 200 00:13:16.600 --> 00:13:18.960 put myself out there more, and now I'm kind of taking those risks, 201 00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:22.559 I'm taking their those steps to get out of my comfort zone, and I'm 202 00:13:22.639 --> 00:13:26.629 seeing nothing but positive result. You know, there is nothing to feel bad 203 00:13:26.909 --> 00:13:31.470 in wanting better for yourself. You need to take that first step and that 204 00:13:31.590 --> 00:13:33.389 is one thing that I learned from you. I want to talk about something 205 00:13:33.470 --> 00:13:37.830 that wasn't necessarily on the list of questions, but I know that when you 206 00:13:37.990 --> 00:13:41.139 started the podcast you were with other people and then you found success and they 207 00:13:41.139 --> 00:13:46.059 were jealous. How have you felt with that? It's you know, it 208 00:13:46.220 --> 00:13:52.299 happens when you are doing well, people aren't always happy for you, and 209 00:13:52.419 --> 00:13:54.809 I'm just curious because I know it's a thing that really can affect your mental 210 00:13:54.850 --> 00:14:00.649 health. How are you dealing with that? Yeah, I started a podcast 211 00:14:00.850 --> 00:14:03.769 with a friend of mine who is still very much a friend of mine, 212 00:14:03.889 --> 00:14:09.009 so I had no control hole in the early days of the podcast of what 213 00:14:09.169 --> 00:14:11.720 was going on. You know what we were talking about, you know, 214 00:14:11.919 --> 00:14:16.039 anything like that. And it wasn't until I started, you know, gaining 215 00:14:16.200 --> 00:14:20.679 confidence and kind of, know, understanding my own self worth and what made 216 00:14:20.840 --> 00:14:26.029 me kind of happy that something was born from my idea that was again being 217 00:14:26.149 --> 00:14:28.429 taken out of my control. And then it got to got to a stage 218 00:14:28.509 --> 00:14:31.950 where I it was gained in momentum and I was like, okay, well, 219 00:14:33.149 --> 00:14:35.870 my confidence was growing. I was like, you know what, you've 220 00:14:35.909 --> 00:14:39.100 actually got a talent. This is the first time in thirty years I felt 221 00:14:39.100 --> 00:14:43.220 like I've actually got a talent. That's and I was not going to let 222 00:14:43.340 --> 00:14:46.860 someone else kind of dictate to me. I've lived after the past three years 223 00:14:46.899 --> 00:14:48.980 old. I've been dictated to, you know, is by doctors, by 224 00:14:50.059 --> 00:14:52.580 family members, like I should be doing this, you know, your mom's 225 00:14:52.580 --> 00:14:54.490 going to die, this, that and the other, and this is probably 226 00:14:54.529 --> 00:15:00.289 the most headstrong and confident I've ever been to say no, no, that's 227 00:15:00.289 --> 00:15:03.409 not right for me. You know, one you're not going to kind of 228 00:15:03.450 --> 00:15:07.679 push me into that version of myself again and to I'm not going to allow 229 00:15:07.759 --> 00:15:11.240 my mental health to be affected by other people's behaviors. It's it's going to 230 00:15:11.320 --> 00:15:15.799 hear you talk about this because I just see so much of myself in your 231 00:15:15.879 --> 00:15:18.919 story and really finding what I love. And you know, for me it 232 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:22.070 happens to be dragging. People tend to look at that and say, oh, 233 00:15:22.110 --> 00:15:24.990 that's so different and that's so out there, but really the moral of 234 00:15:24.070 --> 00:15:28.710 the story is if you are doing what you love, you are going to 235 00:15:28.789 --> 00:15:31.789 feel confident about it. You were going to be able to meet those decisions 236 00:15:31.830 --> 00:15:33.710 and that's what you're going for. It doesn't matter what it is, as 237 00:15:33.750 --> 00:15:37.059 long as it feels that way for you, then you know you're on the 238 00:15:37.100 --> 00:15:39.779 right path exactly. And I mean you mentioned like the you know, the 239 00:15:39.779 --> 00:15:43.379 jealousy word. It's like I've for want. I've never really understood it because 240 00:15:43.379 --> 00:15:46.980 I feel like if you want something that bad, then you will work your 241 00:15:46.019 --> 00:15:50.169 ass off to get it, you know, and it kind of got to 242 00:15:50.250 --> 00:15:54.049 a stage where people want to see you do good, but not better than 243 00:15:54.090 --> 00:15:58.450 them. I don't know if you are religious. I am, and I 244 00:15:58.490 --> 00:16:00.330 don't think I've ever even said that on this podcast before. So there's that. 245 00:16:02.049 --> 00:16:04.360 But one thing I learned from a young age is that what God has 246 00:16:04.519 --> 00:16:08.000 for me is for me and what God has for you is for you, 247 00:16:08.519 --> 00:16:14.000 and those two things don't necessarily the relate to each other. So in thinking 248 00:16:14.039 --> 00:16:17.320 about life that way and that when I have success it's for me and of 249 00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:19.269 course I want to share it, or if someone else's success, being happy 250 00:16:19.269 --> 00:16:22.590 for them doesn't really affect what's going to happen to you, I've been able 251 00:16:22.629 --> 00:16:26.990 to allow my haters to motivate me. In fact, one of the reasons 252 00:16:26.990 --> 00:16:30.350 I think this podcast is so successful is because I have a lot of love 253 00:16:30.509 --> 00:16:33.460 here, but I also have a lot of people who kind of want to 254 00:16:33.580 --> 00:16:37.700 see me fail. So they will still click and I still yet for everyone. 255 00:16:37.659 --> 00:16:42.379 Is One thing that I find really funny because you know, obviously with 256 00:16:42.580 --> 00:16:45.940 the various apps and stuff that you use, like you can see who kind 257 00:16:45.940 --> 00:16:49.090 of it, who's listening, who's there, and it's just sometimes you're a 258 00:16:49.169 --> 00:16:52.210 love will. You won't reach out and say like Oh, you know, 259 00:16:52.450 --> 00:16:55.769 I'm loving this, blah, blah blah, but I know you're listening. 260 00:16:56.250 --> 00:17:00.889 This is going to sound so cheesy, but this is a quote by Dumbaldore 261 00:17:00.049 --> 00:17:03.680 from Harry Potter and it said that takes a lot of courage to stand up 262 00:17:03.680 --> 00:17:07.839 to your enemies, but hall of a lot more courage to stand up to 263 00:17:07.839 --> 00:17:11.640 your friends, and that it's very true. So, thinking of all the 264 00:17:11.799 --> 00:17:15.990 amazing guests that you've had on your podcast, I know some of them you 265 00:17:15.150 --> 00:17:18.349 have seen in gigs. What are something you learned from a guess on your 266 00:17:18.390 --> 00:17:23.309 podcast that you found the most profound? Okay, that is a brilliant question. 267 00:17:23.349 --> 00:17:27.630 I think what I learned and it was from this. It's one of 268 00:17:27.630 --> 00:17:32.980 my favorite singers and named Shingy. She's from the band called the noisettes in 269 00:17:33.059 --> 00:17:36.380 the UK. This is my favorite bit review. This is my favorite. 270 00:17:36.500 --> 00:17:40.460 Oh my God, Litch, I cannot tell you I'm I don't even think 271 00:17:40.460 --> 00:17:42.339 I should probably say this, but like, I nearly probably wet myself about 272 00:17:42.339 --> 00:17:48.569 three times story in that interview I was so excited. But what I took 273 00:17:48.650 --> 00:17:52.970 from that is like, you know, you see all these like incredible songs, 274 00:17:53.210 --> 00:17:56.049 you know this, that near that, and you think you know that 275 00:17:56.170 --> 00:17:59.119 these, you know, these incredible artists have. You know, they have 276 00:17:59.240 --> 00:18:00.960 it made, they have, you know, the record contracts they have, 277 00:18:02.960 --> 00:18:06.920 you know, all this incredible kind of lifestyle, but deep down, like 278 00:18:07.039 --> 00:18:11.079 they're still feeling like what we're feeling, like the anxiety before they step out 279 00:18:11.079 --> 00:18:14.269 on stage. You know, we spoke about like her mom being in the 280 00:18:14.349 --> 00:18:18.589 similar situation that my mom was in and, you know, with you know, 281 00:18:18.710 --> 00:18:22.750 with a brain injury, and I was just like, you know what, 282 00:18:22.950 --> 00:18:25.630 never in a million years that I think I would be set across, 283 00:18:25.869 --> 00:18:30.460 you know, on zoom talking about this to one a little bit of like 284 00:18:30.539 --> 00:18:33.299 an idol to me, and all I took from it. Well, I 285 00:18:33.380 --> 00:18:36.859 took a lot of stuff from it, but it was, you know, 286 00:18:37.220 --> 00:18:40.579 we're all human, we're all feeling these emotions. Were all, you know, 287 00:18:40.660 --> 00:18:42.569 we're all going through the same things. Just inspires me with the podcast 288 00:18:42.609 --> 00:18:45.369 because, you know, it's come from such a painful, horrible part of 289 00:18:45.410 --> 00:18:49.289 my life, but it's now turned into one of the things I'm most proud 290 00:18:49.329 --> 00:18:53.369 of. There's a lot to be said about turning beauty into pain. I 291 00:18:53.529 --> 00:18:59.440 feel like it's a lot of the reason why I got into drag was because 292 00:18:59.480 --> 00:19:03.799 I spent so many years insecure with myself and listening to other people put me 293 00:19:03.920 --> 00:19:07.519 down. It was like I almost had to start being someone else to even 294 00:19:07.599 --> 00:19:11.269 like get the feel confidence or beauty felt like, and so I think that 295 00:19:11.390 --> 00:19:15.670 there's beauty in every situation, even no matter how illful of it, and 296 00:19:15.789 --> 00:19:18.430 just have to find it. And I've got a story for you that I 297 00:19:18.470 --> 00:19:22.109 don't think I've actually ever told you, but I saw it a few posts 298 00:19:22.150 --> 00:19:23.420 that you went. It was like a throwback to when you went to see 299 00:19:23.460 --> 00:19:30.539 beyonce yes and she bought me a pizza. Once she bought you a pizza, 300 00:19:30.819 --> 00:19:36.339 she brought me a pizza like about to Represa. My ex girlfriend was 301 00:19:36.380 --> 00:19:40.930 a huge beyond fan and I got managed to get tickets for this TV special 302 00:19:41.009 --> 00:19:45.410 shy she was doing in London and as we were waiting to go in them, 303 00:19:45.009 --> 00:19:49.809 we're in this little room and her sister came out with pizzas and were 304 00:19:49.890 --> 00:19:52.839 like, all these are from the carters, thank you for waiting. Oh 305 00:19:53.599 --> 00:19:59.799 my God, I'm so jealous. That's why I've never thought I'd bring it 306 00:19:59.880 --> 00:20:00.799 up, but I thought, you know what, though, like we're both 307 00:20:00.839 --> 00:20:03.440 be on safe fans. I I've got it. I've got a shared a 308 00:20:03.480 --> 00:20:07.349 little. Oh my goodness. So, even though this completely out topic, 309 00:20:07.390 --> 00:20:12.470 there's always time for beyonce, so thank you for sharing. I was an 310 00:20:12.470 --> 00:20:18.230 asked what are three things that every person must do to maintain good mental health. 311 00:20:18.390 --> 00:20:21.500 So reaching out is one. What words? What are two other things 312 00:20:21.539 --> 00:20:23.579 that you've done or you think other people should do to maintain their health? 313 00:20:25.180 --> 00:20:27.819 I think definitely number one, reach out if you're facing any kind of mental 314 00:20:27.859 --> 00:20:32.579 struggle, anything like that. Reach out, because a problem shared is a 315 00:20:32.619 --> 00:20:37.849 problem halved in my eyes. Number two is surround yourself with good people, 316 00:20:37.450 --> 00:20:42.650 and I cannot stress this enough, like surround yourself with good people that are 317 00:20:42.730 --> 00:20:45.930 on the same wavelength, that want to see you do well. And then 318 00:20:45.930 --> 00:20:49.480 the third one, I think, is to just be honest, like, 319 00:20:49.640 --> 00:20:53.319 if you're not feeling it today or Joe War, at least you got up. 320 00:20:55.240 --> 00:20:57.920 Just be proud of the little winds. That's what life is, though, 321 00:20:59.039 --> 00:21:00.759 isn't it? I think it's a bunch of little winds. Of course 322 00:21:00.839 --> 00:21:03.430 it is. And you know, and I think it's when you start to 323 00:21:03.509 --> 00:21:08.509 appreciate those little winds. They they build up into big wins and then taking 324 00:21:08.549 --> 00:21:11.670 a step back then like, O'd you know what, look at what I've 325 00:21:11.750 --> 00:21:15.470 produced, look what I'm capable of, look what you know I've achieved. 326 00:21:17.150 --> 00:21:19.500 So where can we follow you on social media and where can we find the 327 00:21:19.539 --> 00:21:26.539 waffle shop podcast? So I'm on Instagram, facebook, instagrams, where I 328 00:21:26.619 --> 00:21:30.500 do a lot more off covicy, the interaction. So I'm at waffle shop 329 00:21:30.859 --> 00:21:37.769 podcast on Instagram and you can find me on spotify, apple music and to 330 00:21:37.890 --> 00:21:41.329 search for the waffle shop podcast on I'm Bo. I'm hoping it POPs up, 331 00:21:41.609 --> 00:21:45.170 but yeah, if you ever fancy coming for a waffle, just drop 332 00:21:45.289 --> 00:21:47.559 me here. DM Well, tellor, thank you so much for coming on 333 00:21:47.640 --> 00:21:49.559 sack sighs, and if you want to listen to Taylor's podcast, I will 334 00:21:49.559 --> 00:21:52.960 leave a link in the show notes. Thank you so much for doing this. 335 00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:56.039 Thank you so much for having me. I'd love hearing from you. 336 00:21:56.160 --> 00:22:00.160 So it's been an absolute pleasure. All right, until next time. By 337 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:04.150 snacks. Hey Snack, I hope you enjoyed this episode. Snack size podcast 338 00:22:04.269 --> 00:22:10.230 is sponsored by twin cities gay scene, the online magazine for events and culture 339 00:22:10.509 --> 00:22:15.019 happening in the twin cities area. Check out my biweekly editorial snack scene at 340 00:22:15.259 --> 00:22:22.500 www that twin cities gay scenecom. And for more fun with this podcast, 341 00:22:22.859 --> 00:22:29.019 head on over to www dot snack size podcastcom to leave a review and follow 342 00:22:29.099 --> 00:22:33.329 me on my social media. Until next time, go be fabulous