The reason my podcast is about solo moms is summed up in one phrase, "you are not alone". While the solo mom experience comes with unique challenges, none of us is alone. Millions of divorced, widowed, and single moms have dedicated their lives to the healthy growth of their children.
Determined to break generational patterns, they forge ahead despite the stiff winds of difficulties they face.
Background
I’ve spent the last 30+ years in some area of finance.
The last 12 years or so for a multinational investment bank on Wall Street. Before that I was a successful real estate salesperson. And prior to that 20 + years in insurance sales and underwriting, including owning my own agency.
But the job I’m most proud of is being a mom to my three sons. Life’s not without its challenges. And raising children solo has to be one of the most challenging experiences I’ve had.
Still despite the missteps and the disappointments, I wouldn’t exchange the experience for anything.
I would have absolutely wished for an easier life. But I believe all the things I’ve overcome -- broke with bad credit, physically and mentally unhealthy, crippled by fear and emotionally broken -- have prepared me for this moment.
Being a Solo Mom
At times when I look back over the last three decades and know that the challenges and experience was a mastermind of sort. Learning to heal myself; being a mentor, provider, and protector to my sons; and learning to trust a God who loves me enough to provide the security I needed.
This is why I do this. I would do it for free. But I believe SoloMoms! Talk Podcast would be even more successful if I wasn't doing it for free.
Dispelling the myth
When I researched starting a podcast for and about single moms, I was disappointed to read the negative connotation surrounding moms raising children solo.
Single moms are not viewed in a positive light online. The general consensus seems to be that single moms are gold digging, welfare harlots. Shocking right?
But I knew I wasn't any of those things. If anything quite the opposite. That's why I chose to name my podcast SoloMoms! Talk. Where moms raising children solo can share their stories. Not just the negative parts of their story but also the positive: escaping spousal abuse or bouncing back from the untimely death of her spouse, for example.
And after interviewing dozens of solo moms I realize that there were many more moms raising children solo through no fault of their own that there were included in the stereotypes.
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Exposing the lies
Moms like Naomi Mayme admit to marrying for the wrong reasons. But eventually they pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. Start a business and work hard to fight the stereotypes of being a single mom.
Solo moms are hard working and innovative. Usually their main concern is for the wellbeing of their children. Unfortunately that unrelenting love for their children will cause these moms to comprpomise their own sense of self-worth to make sure their children don't go without.
So many moms who shared their stories on SoloMoms! Talk shed a bright and hopeful light on who a solo mom really is. Moms like Shaniqua Garvin whose husband died at 39 years old leaving her to care for their young son alone. Or widowed mom Jenny Lisk who watched her husband slowly die from brain cancer. And moved on to pick up the pieces not only for her own children. She also helps other parents deal with the loss of their spouse.
And just in case you think that single moms are only prevelent in North America here are some statistics that may give you some perspectives:
Australia: 1.1 million families are headed by single parent with 79.8% being single mothers
China: 19 million single mothers
India: 13 million single mothers
However, the research suggests that single moms still struggle financially especially in the US.
Shining a light
My desire is that SoloMoms! Talk will help shine a light on the single mom lifestyle.
One atypical solo mom is Allison who had two children with her husband of 15 years. But during those years of marriage, her husband fathered three other children by two different women. Allison had high hopes for her marriage given her beliefs in her vows but being married but mothering solo took it's toll on her.
Another solo mom who shared her story is Doris. Not a single mom but married husband who is absent a lot because he's overseas serving his country.
SoloMoms! Talk is not about laying blame or pointing fingers. It's about curating these stories so other solo moms can see that they are not alone.
Providing encouragement
SoloMoms! Talk is about the story of the millions of moms worldwide who are still struggling to raise children on their own. It's about the millions more who have found the strength to push through despite hardships, to raise successful kids. Moms like Ayami Hiroshighe and Sonia Manboarde.
Some are moms who have worked through the tragedies of their pasts. These moms remain focused on helping others, while they steer their children away from destructive generational patterns they endured.
My desire is to provide a place where solo moms can share their stories. SoloMoms! Talk is also a place where you can speak your truth, while getting exposure for the work you continue to do on yourself. And for others.
So don’t give up. You are not alone. And you don't have to parent in silence.
Conclusion
The mission of SoloMoms! Talk is to focus on the immediate needs of the solo mom by:
- Encouraging self-love, self-care, mindset, and self-development because we believe that you have to put the oxygen mask on first so you can better help your children.
- Helping you live IN purpose and teaching you how to effectively communicate with your children is our secondary focus.
- Giving you the tools and strategies through courses, challenges and coaching to become a better version of yourself so you can attract the partner God has prepared for you.
These three areas of focus help us help solo moms live a life that set a good example for their children while giving them tools to establish a legacy that can break negative generational cycles.
Our strategies are designed to help solo moms of teens and young adults reduce the struggle and experience joy in the middle of life’s chaos.
