How to Harness The Power of Being Alone w/J. Rosemarie Francis

J. Rosemarie Francis (00:00.078)

Today I'm gonna talk about isolation. Now, we sometimes find that we crave isolation. Well, I do. I want to be alone a lot of times. Just be by myself, to think, to read, to write, to do the things that I enjoy doing without disruption. And... It's something you crave when you're in the middle of raising your children alone. You crave solitude when a noise and a chaos is there. You like in your mind, in your heart, you yearn for peace and solitude. But when you have that, when you get that, it's not everything it's cracked up to be.

because it can be lonely being alone. But the key to not fall into depression or to get in such a way that you are totally isolated is to one, is to plan that time away intentionally. To decide what you want and how you want that time away, that time alone, how you want it to be, what you want it to look like. what you want to get out of it. And it doesn't have to be anything formal. It's just something you could make up your mind to do. And that way you will get what you're looking for, most likely. The second thing is to remember that

J. Rosemarie Francis (01:59.01)

you have to love yourself to want to be alone with yourself because wherever you go, there you are, right? And this is my most important point. And the most important thing I want to bring out on this episode is that if you are not happy with you, you're not comfortable with you, and you don't love you, you'll always be seeking

to be with other people because you feel inadequate, you feel, and at the same time, you don't want to be around people because of these feelings of self-loathing. So I'm going to ask you to, as we near the end of the year and a new year coming up, God willing, we'll all be around.

that you consider you take stock of and you do some self-reflection. How much do you love yourself? How much do you care about your own wellbeing? And that is a strange question to ask because naturally we are human beings like to preserve themselves.

We're programmed to preserve ourselves. The fight or flight inclination is self-preservation. When we are hurt, we try to get rid of the hurt. If somebody's hurting us, we try to get away from that person normally. But I want to ask you to consider today that if you want to be alone with yourself,

or even if you don't, because you may end up alone. You may end up alone not because nobody wants you, or because, but maybe because you choose to be alone for a time, for a period, or you may decide you want to be, just stay alone for the rest of your life. It could be you're in a place where,

J. Rosemarie Francis (04:25.826)

You're hoping your kids will come visit you, know, daily or weekly or monthly, but they don't because they're busy with their lives. And you have to be comfortable with who you are. You have to accept who you are as a person. And if who you are as a person isn't acceptable to you, then it's time to do some work on you.

Right? And there are many ways you can do that. Maybe you want to go back to school. Maybe you feel you're not qualified for something that you want to do. Maybe you are not as healthy as you'd like to be. And those things are what we struggle with as solo moms. We tend to be

Because we spent years focused on others and not too much focus on ourselves, we are getting to the point now where we, know, especially if the kids are out of the house, where we are.

lacking or we feel inadequate because we didn't quite prepare ourselves for our future. And a lot of people talk about retirement and money and how much money you're going to have, but not many people talk about taking care of your mental and physical health as a solo mom because ours, anyone really, because

whatever money you save up for retirement, 65, 70 and beyond, is no good to you if you're not healthy. And so I want to talk about and keep talking about and keep emphasizing the need for mental and physical health for us as solo moms, for us who have gone beyond the

J. Rosemarie Francis (06:45.358)

throws of raising young children and have now sent them off to college or they're out in the workforce doing their own thing, they're now trying to parent us, right?

Take care of yourself.

Be in a place where you are happy to be alone with you. And when I say alone, I don't mean, you know, not be with a partner. You know, this is not a relationship talk. Well, it may be a relationship talk because it's a relationship with yourself. It's how, what I want to say is be contented.

with who you are. And if you are not contented with who you are, then do some work. Find ways to love who you are as a person and what you're not happy with, fix it. Because you can fix whatever is broken. And whatever need you have, whether your kids are 3 or 33,

There is no place for guilt because you were created to be creative. And so whatever purpose you feel you have in life, don't be ashamed to think about them, consider them and prepare to fulfill those purposes. But the thing is that you have to be healthy.

J. Rosemarie Francis (08:33.834)

I there's so many other ways to put this but I just want to say be healthy, be strong, be you. You're uniquely qualified for something and but you have to be in a place where being alone because that's where you find out who you are when you're alone with yourself and when you're alone with this with yourself.

Do you like who you are? Do you love who you are? Would someone looking at you know and well, it doesn't really matter what people think really, right? What do you think? How do you feel? I want you to consider joining our Solo Moms Connect group because one of the things we lack is

People who think like us are people who understand what we're going through connecting. Without the stuff that goes on on social media where we get judged and disqualified and canceled because we state our position or give our opinion or talk about what we're going through.

So consider joining Solo Moms Connect. I did have this group a long time ago and with my traveling and everything it kind of phased out. But I want to start this again because it was a very helpful group to moms who were raising their children alone. I think it works whether you are your children are 2 or 22. And so I invite you to click the link below and sign up.

We just need your first name and email address and your phone number if you feel like it. And just let us know, just come and meet us and let's talk. Let's talk about if this resonates with you, is. There's nothing to be ashamed of if you're raising your children alone. As a matter of fact, I think it's a badge of honor if you've been left to raise your children alone.

J. Rosemarie Francis (10:55.544)

however you've been left. And whatever guilt you feel is you putting it on yourself because God does not condemn you and you have children to raise and even if they're older now and don't need you raising them, they still need you in one way, shape or form. So be an example, be healthy, be strong and be good with being who you are.

and spending time with yourself. Join Solo Moms Connect today. Thank you, I'm J. Rosemarie.