J.R. Gonzales: The Impact of Culture, Family and Education

Judy Oskam: 0:02

Welcome to Stories of Change and Creativity. I'm Judy Oskam and I'm excited to share my interview with JR Gonzales. What an interesting individual, a character, a storyteller. Jr talks about the impact of family, culture and key decision points. Yes, he's an entrepreneur, a speaker, a trainer and a podcaster. He's also a proud Texas State University graduate and he's been a guest lecturer in our graduate program. Well, I thoroughly enjoyed my interview with JR. We did talk about his family and his passion for sharing the achievements of the Latino community. You'll also hear how his experience with a swimming pig just might have changed the course of his career. Well, I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did. J. R. Gonzales, can you introduce yourself a little bit? Give your elevator pitch, if you will.

J.R. Gonzales : 1:03

Elevator pitch. Okay, yes, Thank you. First of all, thank you very much for having me on this episode of your podcast. As J. R. Gonzales, I am a Bobcat, a proud Bobcat graduate of class of 81. And currently, I mean I've been very, very busy. Currently I do professional development, speaker training, involved in a lot of nonprofit work. I've had an outstanding or what I consider, a very blessed, a very fortunate lifetime and career, and a lot of it started right there. At the time that was Southwest Texas State University, now Texas State.

Judy Oskam: 1:41

Well, I love it. Well, you're an entrepreneur, You're a speaker, you know, nationally known on all of those fronts and you also host the podcast Latino Business Report.

J.R. Gonzales : 1:53

Well, you're very kind and I do a lot of things, and some people say I'm a jack of all trades, a master at none. I like to think that I pretty much master a lot of things, but once I master it I get bored. Let's go find something else. So I've been very fortunate in my lifetime not actually to be working in an industry that I enjoy working in what I studied in school and also have the flexibility. If I have a new idea I go well, heck, let's just quit this and go try something new for a while.

Judy Oskam: 2:24

I love that and I love that spirit too, and when I was talking to you on campus a couple weeks ago, you mentioned that when you were walking across when you were younger, in your younger days and your college days, you're walking across campus and you had some kind of a revelation. Let's start there and see where we go.

J.R. Gonzales : 2:42

Oh, wow, okay, yeah, the revelation, it was well. First of all, let me start off by saying that my intention back when I was what? 16, 17 years old and thinking about colleges with me, it was never a choice if I go to college, my mother was when you go to college. So I didn't have a choice and the idea was to go to two years down in San Marcos and finish up at the University of Texas. Being raised in Austin, I was a big Longhorn fan. That was the idea. However, after a couple of semesters and a year or so at now Texas State, I said no, I'm not going to transfer. I like this campus and this university too much, especially the people. But one of the things I do mention, especially in light of all this current political stuff with DEI and everything else and inclusion and diversity, I jokingly say when I enrolled at Texas State that I increased the Hispanic population on campus by about 33 percent because there was me, there was the cafeteria ladies and there was the groundskeepers and that was about it.

J.R. Gonzales : 3:52

It was not a very diverse school. There wasn't many students of color and of course, that has since changed tremendously, since I'm very proud of that fact. But it was also a little difficult in going there because there wasn't. I didn't have that cultural experience. I had very few students, other peers that had a similar background as me. So it was a little difficult adjusting but we made the adjustments. Got into a couple brawls every now and then over it, but it was that mental adjustment that I had to make that got me through. For example, I had a couple of in a dormitory I lived. I have a couple of guys that lived in the room next door and they were. They were students and they were also cowboys. They were rodeo riders One was a rodeo clown, one was a bull rider and they used to give me a hard time. They'd call me every name in the book. They called me Taco, bender, greaser, spick, I mean, you just name it. They were just in a kidding kind of way, but they were just being mean spirited.

Judy Oskam: 4:53

Yeah, yeah.

J.R. Gonzales : 4:54

So one day I just said that's it, you dumb redneck, blankety, blank blank. And I said, guys, you know you should be thanking me, you should be thanking me and my kind he goes. What are you talking about? I go think about it, guys. Do you think, did horses come over on the Mayflower? No, it was the Spanish conquistadores that brought them into Mexico and it was the Mustang herds that grew and it was the Mexican vaqueros that actually showed the Anglo settlers how to be cowboys. So without that culture you'd never be doing what you're doing on weekends and being rodeo riders and everything else. So it was an understanding that the tapestry or the culture, the Hispanic culture, is woven so much into what's currently Texas and, of course, the United States. But back in the 70s we just didn't get it.

J.R. Gonzales : 5:45

It was relatively new, but I had an epiphany into my sophomore year. I was just tired. I was tired, I was ready to quit, I was ready to drop out of school and go to work doing something full time. I was working. That summer, thanks to the local Chamber of Commerce, I got a job working a construction site and it was in Hunter, texas, and it was at a cement plant that's just right outside of San Marcos and we were coming home on the work bus. We had a work bus that day because it saved gas taking your own car and the bus took an alternative route for the first time. It drove by Sewell Park and I was looking out the window. It's 100, what it was? 104, 105 degrees that day, hard hats, long you know, steel-toed boots, long-sleeved shirts, blue jeans, just tired, just smelling like a locker room because of the sweat and all the other people in the bus. And I look over at Sewell Park and I see co-eds laying out in the sun.

J.R. Gonzales : 6:47

I see guys playing hacky sack by the river enjoying floating in their inner tubes, and it was a realization. I mean, I just got angry. I got angry why am I having to work on weekends? Why am I having to work all spring break and all summer to make money to help pay tuition or to buy books or to make the rent? I mean, it just didn't seem fair and I said that's it. But then, as my eyes focused on something, I just had the epiphany hit. Where I go wait a minute, jr, why are you mad? I go look at it out there.

J.R. Gonzales : 7:26

You had people laying out in the sun trying to get brown as they're studying their Spanish books. I go wait a minute, I'm already brown. God gave me that. I speak Spanish already, so I felt I was ahead of the game. , J udy, that's what kind of changed it. From then on, my whole mindset switched. Instead of being woe is me, it was to kind of like I have the advantage. So, as some people looked at my life or who I was as maybe a disadvantage, a young Latino minority kid trying to make his way through college, it just switched my whole mindset and I think that's what really catapulted myself into my career moves, my things that I decided to do and I have that attitude that, hey, there's nothing I can't do if I put my mind to it and it's helped me all through life. It's gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part it's's been, it's been, uh, it has served me well well, was there something in your childhood or your parents, or where did you learn that?

Judy Oskam: 8:33

how did you learn that mindset? That's because that's a real growth mindset, right there it was.

J.R. Gonzales : 8:39

I mean, I was very fortunate. I was born in the lower Rio

J.R. Gonzales : 8:41

Grande Valley, Mercedes, Texas, mercedes, right there on the Mexican-US border. Mom was a teacher and dad was in the military. So we kind of moved around in my younger years from base to base. But my dad used to tell me when I was young he'd go, mijo, let me tell you something, son, he goes.

J.R. Gonzales : 9:01

It's unfortunate that you're probably going to have to work twice as hard as the person next to you just to stay even Right. And I didn't get it at that tender age. And he's like why would I If I'm working twice as hard? I should be, you know, head and shoulders above everybody else. But he was referring to just you know the time and when he was telling me that there was the 60s, there was civil rights movements, there was prejudice and bigotry, everything that still happened. You still had restaurants that said no dogs, no Mexicans. You know were posted on the outside.

J.R. Gonzales : 9:32

So I think it was the thing that I'm going to have to just work hard and the fact that my parents were able to help me out my first semester in college, first two semesters actually. Then after that I was on my own student loans, working whatever, and they got me kind of acclimated and after that I was on my own and I really have to give both my parents a lot of credit, both loving parents, caring parents and, like I said, it wasn't if I go to college, it's when I go to college and that determination that I can, I can do it. So I kind of took that attitude going in and then as a realization I go, go. Oh heck, this is a whole different ball game yeah the, the campus, the, the activities.

J.R. Gonzales : 10:16

but because of some things coming out of high school, it's very active. In high school, um, played football, uh, forensically, you know, I, I, I did different extracurricular activities and help develop my overall social skill sets, if you will, interpersonal relationships and skill sets and social mannerisms. So that kind of helped me break through some of the ice at Texas State and then from there on I just started getting involved. Student government was the thing that I got involved in mostly and I kind of found that as my little corner of the world and just excelled from there.

Judy Oskam: 10:57

I see you sort of as an educator and a storyteller, of course, and I'm sure you have a lot of stories.

J.R. Gonzales : 11:06

Oh, I got some stories Let me tell you. We won't even talk about the first. It was the first week of school. It was the first week of school. It was the first week of school and I ended up in handcuffs with two cameras. I thought I was going to jail and I talked my way out of it, but that's for a different time. That is for a different time.

Judy Oskam: 11:25

Well, but my point is you're educating. You changed your mind, your mindset, and you decided how can I then move forward? And I see you helping other people do the same. I see you on your podcast helping others. You taught one of our graduate classes this last semester and I see you sharing your knowledge, but also your passion and your spirit, with our students, and I think that's something that started maybe from an early age. I think it was.

J.R. Gonzales : 11:59

And, of course, not to leave out, I always prefer getting interns out of Texas State.

Judy Oskam: 12:04

Oh, that's nice to hear. Love the interns.

J.R. Gonzales : 12:06

We'll nurture them, help them find jobs, whatever it takes. But I think a lot of it was my upbringing in that as other kids were trick-or-treating back in the day. I mean, I used to go trick-or-treating, but I also was. My mom had a little orange box of collecting for UNICEF or something along those times. My dad had a very strong work ethic and he made sure he instilled that in me and it wasn't a matter of you know, son, you can get out there and work.

J.R. Gonzales : 12:37

I remember one particular thing that really kind of stayed with me is dad was putting in a new yard, spreading the dirt, getting the sod, and he hired a couple of folks from the work quarter you know, undocumented workers, spanish speakers and he got the wheelbarrows and got all the equipment and everything. And he calls me over and says Jack, come here. Yes, sir, he goes, all right, you're in charge. I got to go, you're in charge of these guys. Make sure there's the dirts on the yard, make sure everything's covered and then start planting the grass. And he gave me instructions and I kind of I'd been through that before so I knew kind of what to do. And he goes okay, you're in charge, I go all right, then see you later. He goes well, I go. Well, what he goes. Where's your shovel? Where's your wheelbarrow? Where are your gloves? I thought I was in charge. I go. No, yeah, you're in charge, but you're working right alongside them.

Judy Oskam: 13:32

Next to them.

J.R. Gonzales : 13:33

Yeah and I go okay. So I kind of learned the work ethic in that if you're going to be a boss or you're going to be in charge, you've got to learn how to do it. And so as I sat there and worked side by side with these guys, talking to them, I learned a lot about their life and some of their obstacles and hardships that they've had, and it was a realization how fortunate I really was. So hard work has never bothered me, If you ask my wife and anybody else around. I try to avoid it whenever possible because I put a lot of it in at a young age, but it's not a problem. I'm one of those individuals that, to me, if I enjoy doing it, it's not necessarily work and I'll put in, you know, 60, 70 hours a week if need be in doing something I enjoy.

Judy Oskam: 14:21

Sure, sure, well, and something you enjoy, I think, is the podcast. Tell us how that started and what your goal is for that.

J.R. Gonzales : 14:32

The podcast is kind of funny. It was a pandemic. A lot of stuff was happening and then since, as you mentioned before, I had a lot of, I would do a lot of speaking engagements, a lot of after dinner speeches, a lot of I'd be a keynote speaker at a chamber, event or an organization. I'd also do a lot of professional development, training, and so when pandemic hit and we were kind of locked down, I didn't have that outlet to express myself. I didn't have that outlet to get in front of a group of people and and tell my stories or go through some training. I said, okay, well, let's try this podcast thing. Now everybody has a podcast, it seems like.

J.R. Gonzales : 15:08

But at the same respect, I go, I'm going to make mine. I didn't do a lot of research on podcasts. I just said you know what I'm going to do it, the way I want to do it, and right wrong, I just started. And then I'd tell people well, maybe after JR, when are you going to start monetizing? When are you going to start doing this, when are you going to start doing that? And I go, hey, give me, let me have about 100 episodes under my belt, and then I'll start getting serious with it, and so I just dropped episode number 106, so we're past that 100 mark.

J.R. Gonzales : 15:38

That's great. And we went ahead and we got a nice logo, we got a decent website, we got some merch, you know, to go along with it, we got some shirts and some caps and so really just having fun with it. The intent is not necessarily to monetize, but to get out there and kind of make friends and tell stories. And, Judy, I think that storytelling is important because as a community, as a Latino community, hispanic community, here, we don't tell our stories enough. A lot of the stories are related by other people who aren't even Hispanic, and I don't want to get into it. But now more than ever, with the political climate, with the stuff we're talking about mass deportation, about all the woes of the world, and we're criminals and we're drug dealers and everything else, it's a little discouraging to get up in the morning and face that on the news pretty regularly and it's kind of like well, wait a minute, we were actually here first. This was our, this was our, our, our country, before it was anybody else's.

J.R. Gonzales : 16:38

I mean, I'm often asked well, jr, what are you? And I go as I traveled in different parts of the world or different parts of the country, because a lot of people just can't figure out who I am. I go well, I'm, I'm, I'm Mexican, mexican-american. Oh, so your parents are from Mexico? No, oh, so your grandparents are from Mexico? No, not really. Well then your great-grandparents are from Mexico? Nope, wrong again. Well, how in the world are you Mexican-American if nobody ever came from Mexico? It was real simple.

J.R. Gonzales : 17:08

My ancestors never crossed the border. The border crossed them, because I can track my family roots to about 1710, when they came over from the Portugal-Spain area into Mexico, migrated up and settled in northern Mexico, which is now Texas. So it's amazing what a war can do. One day we're cattle ranchers and landowners and the next day we're squatters and thieves cattle thieves. So the war kind of changed everything. It's kind of funny, it's kind of a family joke. On my mom's side we actually have original Spanish land grants from Spain that show we own most of what's now in Brownsville, texas.

J.R. Gonzales : 17:46

But I really doubt we're ever going to win any kind of court battle to get that back, going to win any kind of court battle to get that back. But so families have been here for generations and there's a realization that in my mind. I feel that I'm very fortunate. I have a good education, I've been blessed. I've been blessed with the gift of gab. I can tell stories, and so let's get those stories out there and tell as many as we can, not only to educate our own community as to the achievements and accomplishments, but to also educate the non-Hispanic listener or folks out there. He goes look, you know, there's a lot of things that are really going on that you take for granted and don't even realize.

Judy Oskam: 18:26

Exactly Well, and the Latino Business Report. It's about more than just business, but everything is business right. It just crosses over everything.

J.R. Gonzales : 18:36

Well, I call it the Latino business report. In hindsight I probably should have came up with a different name, but at the time it seemed right. But as it evolved. We talk about people in business. We talk you know what's your business, what are you doing? We talk about business, of course, but we also talk about individuals, success stories, what motivated them, why they do things, and I've come across some amazing individuals that just blow me away going wow, and I've had some fun with it. One of my favorite podcasts is I interviewed Luis Guzman, the actor, the one that comes out on the Addams Family on Wednesday on Netflix. He's been around for a long time. He was a great interview. I've really enjoyed some of the interviews that I've done and I think to your point, it's my outlet. I'm a storyteller, I'm a talker. It's hard to just shut me up. In fact, when I was in high school, it was one of the things I was always getting in trouble for for talking too much, and now I get paid a decent amount of money, that's good.

J.R. Gonzales : 19:37

I love it. I want to go back to those counselors and teachers and go. You know, look what I made on this one hour show. You know, in a 20-minute speech I made this much. You know you made that more than the entire month of your salary back then, but it's fun, it's fun. So the podcast kind of evolved. I'm looking forward to doing more stuff with it, getting a little more creative and just getting a little more creative, innovative and just chase down those guests that are hard to chase down. That's the goal. I can get all kinds of guests, but let me find that interesting guest that's really going to resonate well with the audience and people will go like, wow, how in the world did you get that person?

Judy Oskam: 20:18

Well, I think you should also do some solo episodes that are themed and specific, because, you're right, you said it, you have the gift of gab, but you also have a front row seat to such a rich history, not only your own, but in Texas, and you can help tell that story. So I would challenge you to do some solos. That would really be interesting.

J.R. Gonzales : 20:44

Is that a challenge? Yeah, that's a challenge.

Judy Oskam: 20:47

I'm throwing it at you.

J.R. Gonzales : 20:49

And I might do that.

Judy Oskam: 20:50

I mean actually thinking about it's changing up um and doing I don't, I don't think I want to steady um no, but sprinkle some in sprinkle some, that's a way, I'm looking at doing some more solos as well and it's it's a little variety, you know, gives you a little variety, but some of your stories I mean you could take one instance and really explain all the nuances, and even your your first days at Texas state and how you navigated that those the you know, the rodeo cowboy people, I mean that's a, that's a teachable moment there.

J.R. Gonzales : 21:25

Well, I have to tell you what's a teachable moment and I don't tell it often, but since you challenged, I might do a podcast with it. One of my jobs, one of my very first jobs at Texas State is you know, I said my parents supported me for the first two semesters. After that I was on my own. But I got a job at Aquarena Springs when it was open and my job was I was a swimmer, I swam with Ralph the swimming pig.

Judy Oskam: 21:52

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.

J.R. Gonzales : 21:55

For about two and a half, a little over two semesters I swam with that damn darn pig. That is a story and that is the stories. Oh my gosh, yeah.

Judy Oskam: 22:07

But that pig. Maybe I saw you during that time because I came. You may have. I might have seen you back then.

J.R. Gonzales : 22:14

I would love to. I mean, this was before you know cameras on phones and everything. Yeah, I know I would love to find a picture of myself. You know swimming. You know 25, 30 feet underwater in that underwater submarine, back dressed up as Glurpo. You know one of the witch doctors. Yes, I mean we had the witch doctors, we had the mermaids, we had the swimming pig we had the whole bit.

J.R. Gonzales : 22:36

Right, right. So that was a heck of an experience and that was a really turning point because, even though I felt that I was one of the worst jobs in the world, people go oh, you're a swimmer, how cool. I go, yeah, we swam what? In a full day? Maybe five, six shows a day, sometimes maybe seven. But the thing is, in between shows we weren't just idle, we weren't just, you know, sunbathing, we had to work around there. I mean, jr, we've got to go clean out the alligator pits. I go, are you serious? Clean out alligator pits? When they made the movie Piranhas there on the shores of um, of ocarina springs, back in the, was it back in the 70s. Um, they needed a beach and the they were. The production company was too cheap to to um to go to a beach.

J.R. Gonzales : 23:25

Well, yeah, to go to a beach or to rent the equipment. They go, you swimmers. There's some wheelbarrows and there's some sand. Make, make a beach, I go. Are you freaking, kidding me? So we created the entire beach for one of the scenes. That's a great story. I love that. It was like you've got to be kidding me. And then the worst, not the worst the temperature there in the water is constant all year round because it's fed by an underwater aquifer. But the rules are you had to have X amount of people in a show to do a show, unless it was the last show of the day. So it's December. Aquarena Springs is about to close. It's the last show. It's cold outside. One lady, one elderly well, now she's probably one elderly at the time.

J.R. Gonzales : 24:11

When I was 18, 19 years years old. She was elderly she's probably 30 yeah, she, she, she buys a ticket and so we have to do an entire show for I mean like five people. Five, six people have to get in the water.

J.R. Gonzales : 24:21

The announcer, the whole bit yeah and so we had to do a show for one lady and she asked me can I bring in my dog? I said, why not? I mean it's, it's the end of the we're all. We want to go home. Halfway through the show she had to go to the restroom and she goes. Can you stop the show and pause it while I go to the restroom? They go no, ma'am, we got to keep going. So she goes. Well, I bought the ticket and I'm. Well, I'm going to leave my dog here to watch the show while I go to the restroom. So she goes to the restroom and we're performing for a Scottish terrier, for the dog.

J.R. Gonzales : 24:58

For a dog. That was unbelievable. But I go. Okay, you know the show must go on. So there's all kinds of crazy things. I love that. But performing for a dog in the wintertime in the last show, In the water, In the water, freezing, Okay, so here we go. But it definitely developed a sense of endurance, if you will.

Judy Oskam: 25:24

Yes, yes, yes. Well, and if you look at that job and what that taught you, then all of these jobs teach us something and you know, as we talk to students, you know they all teach us something.

J.R. Gonzales : 25:37

Well, I'm of the ilk that not only does it teach you something, but I tell people, especially young people, if you have a job that you hate, if you have a job that you don't like, just do it. Do it to the best of your ability, because it's not forever you know, unless you're making license plates in San Quentin.

J.R. Gonzales : 25:53

But the best of your ability because it's not forever, you know, unless you're making license plates in San Quentin, but it's kind of like it will turn. But let me tell you this, and this is for the listeners Even though it sounded pretty cool and I got the job, but after a while and keep in mind we were seasonal work, so we didn't even have to get paid minimum wage. I was getting like $1.95 an hour back then to swim in the water. But the pig experience or the Aquarium Spring experience kind of changed a lot for me because right out of school I was kind of recruited, if you will. I ended up working for two senators a US congressman and I was a senatorial aide in the state legislature all before the age of 25.

J.R. Gonzales : 26:32

But what got me on that track is I got a phone call. Someone recommended me for a job working at the state capitol and I got a call from a lady named Gail Harris. Gail says is this JR Gonzalez? I said yes, ma'am. She said I understand that you may be interested in working at the Capitol this session. I go, yes, ma'am. He said well, when can you come see me? I go, I can come see you. Right now he goes, jr, it's Thanksgiving holiday. Why don't you come see me Monday? And Monday I go up and I do an interview and it goes well, and about a week later I got a call and said you're hired. I was elated, I mean my first job out of college. I'm working in the state capitol and when I got there, one of the jobs I had, one of my first duties was to get all these other files of people who applied for the position and file them away. Well, me being who I am and kind of curious, I had to look at some of these applications.

J.R. Gonzales : 27:22

And I'm going my gosh. How in the world did I get this job? So about a month into it I feel comfortable enough. Where I go to the lady, ms Harris. I go Ms Harris, I have a question for you. She goes I got to confess I looked at some of those applications and there were some very, very qualified people. She says why me? And she just kind of smiles and says Jerry, you asked the wrong question. And I go what is the question that I should ask? She goes why did you get the interview? There's a lot of qualified people there, but it was who I interviewed that I chose from there. She says the question you should be asking is why did you get the interview? I go okay, why did I get the interview? She says I was looking through the applications.

J.R. Gonzales : 28:06

I go any man who put on his resume that he swam with a pig for a living, I just had to meet. So once you got in here, it was your experience, your personality and everything else that got you the job. And I'm figuring, but I just had to. Who in the world swims with a pig? I'd never come across that in my life. I probably never will be. So I just had to meet you, and so it was that that started the trajectory of everything else that I've done in life, and I mean I'm proud of the fact that we're just a poor little Mexican kid out of South Texas. I mean I have actually met six US presidents six US presidents, three out of Mexico, presidents out of other countries. I've stood on the Great Wall of China 13 times.

J.R. Gonzales : 28:45

I've traveled parts of the world and a lot of it can be related back to just swimming with that damn pig and getting an interview that opened up the doors for me to be in Washington DC for a period of time as well.

Judy Oskam: 28:59

I love that. Well, and what did that tell you about asking the right question?

J.R. Gonzales : 29:03

Exactly.

Judy Oskam: 29:04

Asking the right question. And then being humble enough to just vulnerable enough to just kind of lay it out there.

J.R. Gonzales : 29:13

And it also taught me no matter what the circumstances are, you put the right spin on it, you can figure out how to get ahead somehow some way.

Judy Oskam: 29:21

Yes, oh my gosh, I love that. See, that needs to be in your book as well. That's a chapter in your book.

J.R. Gonzales : 29:30

Well, somebody asked me about a book and I said and my standard response is maybe one day, but right now too many people are still alive.

Judy Oskam: 29:37

Yeah, yeah, yeah, too many people are still alive.

J.R. Gonzales : 29:38

Okay, yes, yes, in fact, the book, the working title of the book was that I've been playing with, and it's true and funny, you should mention it was called Swimming with Pigs. Yeah, swimming with Pigs. What kind of title is that?

Judy Oskam: 29:56

That can go a lot of different places.

J.R. Gonzales : 29:59

It really could. It really could. We don't put lipstick on our pigs, we just swim with them.

Judy Oskam: 30:04

We just swim with them. That's a whole other thing.

J.R. Gonzales : 30:06

Oh my gosh, yeah, I them, and that's a whole other thing. But, um, yeah, I mean, texas state was um instrumental in my, in my development. I learned a lot and what really surprised me, even today at my age, and some of the experiences that I have, or some of the situations that I face, I'll just my mind will flash back to, you know, 1979 or so, when I'm sitting in a classroom going, oh, I know that, and then it just kind of pops out of my mouth or just kind of, and people are looking at me like, wow, jared, that was really, that was really smart. And I'm going yeah, I are educated.

Judy Oskam: 30:40

I learned that Well and I really enjoyed seeing you interact with our students recently and teaching them what they need to know to be successful and sharing some of your insight. I think that's something. What would you tell students about how to kind of be comfortable in their own skin, if you will, literally and figuratively, but what would you tell someone who can learn something from your background?

J.R. Gonzales : 31:12

Wow, probably the best thing people can learn from my background is don't do a lot of the things I did.

Judy Oskam: 31:18

How about the positive things? Oh the positive stuff.

J.R. Gonzales : 31:24

Well, let's break that down a little bit. Let's go back a little bit. I think for anybody to be successful and to be confident, they have to have confidence in themselves. They have to believe in themselves that they can do it, Going out there and taking on the challenge. If you don't feel good about who you are and yourself and what you can do, it's going to be difficult. Then there's a situation well, I've heard young people go. Jer, I haven't done much in life. I haven't really done much. I haven't accomplished anything. So how can I learn from these experiences? I go. Well, let's talk about the experiences you've had and as you start talking about them and researching them a little bit more, it's kind of like come on. I mean, you came from a large family, your family didn't have a whole lot of money. You had to work your way through things. You overcame these obstacles, you got into school, you passed all the tests, all the exams. You're here. It's not so much where you've been, but where you're going.

Judy Oskam: 32:28

Yeah.

J.R. Gonzales : 32:28

And I also believe that to know where you're going you have to know where you've been. No-transcript some of the challenges they see today in the business world or getting a job or making it in society it ain't anything compared to what they've been through already. So it's kind of like if you have that confidence that you can do that, then from then on it's going to be smooth sailing.

Judy Oskam: 33:03

Yeah, and allowing yourself to recognize what you've accomplished yourself.

J.R. Gonzales : 33:08

Oh, absolutely. I mean, I have often, you know, dealing with US senators, congressmen, foreign diplomats. Everything at first is kind of like, oh, this is kind of scary. But then on the other result. And the other time I'm going wait a minute, I've sat down, I've met so many people in my life and very fortunate. I mean, how many people would say I have met six US presidents in my lifetime? And I'm going, if I can sit and have a decent conversation with some of these guys, this other person? No big deal, we're all people you know. It's just how you present yourself and how I don't want to say how smart you are is how you present yourself and how you're. A lot of it deals with social intelligence.

Judy Oskam: 33:55

Yeah, capital, social capital.

J.R. Gonzales : 33:56

Social capital and emotional intelligence and go. Can you read the situation and know which cards to play? Because sometimes some people are just. They may be highly educated but they're just dumb as dirt when it comes to some situations. I'm going my gosh people. So I've been very fortunate in that, in that I can usually read a room, read other people and then not capitalize, but at least to know which direction to go in to accomplish whatever goal we're going to go because people think differently and I learned that a long time ago is you appeal to the way people think. It may not be your way of thinking, but you're not trying to change your way of thinking. You're just trying to convince them to do something that maybe you want them to do, whether it be buy your product or go in a direction or vote a certain way. I often tell people everybody listens to the same radio station, wifm what's in it for me?

J.R. Gonzales : 34:51

So once I figure out what the other person wants, it makes it a lot easier to get to appeal to their senses. I love it.

Judy Oskam: 34:59

Well, I can't wait to listen to more of your podcasts and some of your stories there, and also read a future book.

J.R. Gonzales : 35:08

Yeah, the book. Thing.

Judy Oskam: 35:10

No pressure.

J.R. Gonzales : 35:11

Who knows who knows Transcripts from the podcast.

Judy Oskam: 35:15

Put those in there, just an idea.

J.R. Gonzales : 35:18

There is an idea, but I think I like the idea of doing a solo episode or two, because there are times I'll have a guest and I have to pull myself back because it's kind of like no, now you got me going, I just want to get on my foot.

Judy Oskam: 35:32

You have stories to tell and you need to share those stories. They will be valuable for the listeners. Well, thank you, thank you. Yes, I'm a fan, let me tell you.

J.R. Gonzales : 35:42

I love it. I would like to think that I do have some value to share, and then a lot of it is. People have asked sometimes, gerald, what do you attribute your success to? And I say, well, first of all, thank you very much for considering me successful. I don't, I still don't, I just say, I look at it. Is that? Actually?

J.R. Gonzales : 36:05

When I was in school, I read a book, confessions of an Advertising man by David Ogilvy, and one of the things, one of the passages and I'm paraphrasing in the book that really stuck out in my mind and still does. Ogilvie said, I think, the secret, the secret is you make your successes public and you keep your, your failures private. And so, as I've kept my failures private which I have, many, many, many failures and then publicize your successes, it just kind of makes it a little bit easier that whole public perception of who you are. But understanding that every time you're successful at something, it's kind of like it happened for a reason and you don't get all big-headed about it and you just go okay, I made it through this one. What's next Exactly? And let's tackle it by numbers and just don't think that it's necessarily you. It may be the position you hold. It may be the title, it just may be the right people, the right circumstances, but I've gone through things that it's kind of like I cannot believe. I talked my way through this and I was just thinking about it the other day.

J.R. Gonzales : 37:20

I was when I was up in Washington DC, when I was the president and CEO of the United States Hispanic Chamber of Commerce. I had some meetings in Mexico City and I leave DC, and when I left I forgot I didn't have my passport with me. And so they go, what are you going to do? Are you going to cancel the trip? I said no, they're depending on me.

J.R. Gonzales : 37:33

So when I got to San Antonio I went up to the ticket counter and said here's my, you know, gonzales, mexico City. Can I see your passport? And I didn't have a passport with me and I talked to the agent behind the counter. I smiled, I mean it's not that I have a. I mean I didn't flirt, I just smiled. I go, okay, look, we started talking and she was Hispanic. So I said where are you from? And she's from South Texas as well. So I played that card, I played every card I knew, and by the end of the conversation she went ahead and let me board. She broke the rules and let me board a plane. This was post-9-11 without a passport going into Mexico City, and so then I had my passport FedExed to me in Mexico.

Judy Oskam: 38:19

Oh, I was going to say how did you get back?

J.R. Gonzales : 38:21

Yeah, I wasn't going to try to get that lucky twice.

Judy Oskam: 38:24

Yeah, coming back.

J.R. Gonzales : 38:26

So they FedExed it to me and then I was able to come back. But it was a lot of folks go how do you get away with that? I go it's not getting away with it, it's just a matter of having the confidence in yourself and for the most part, I believe people are good and people want to help.

Judy Oskam: 38:43

People want to help you. I do too, so don't be afraid to ask. Yeah, yeah, don't be afraid to ask. Well, thank you for serving on the podcast today and I appreciate your time and sharing your stories, and we'll have to do this again.

J.R. Gonzales : 38:54

Let's do. The next time we do it, I'll have a different story for you.

Judy Oskam: 38:57

That sounds great. I look forward to it. Thanks, JR.

J.R. Gonzales : 38:59

Have a great day. And thank you for what you do. This is, this is a great, great podcast, great format. Really enjoy listening to it myself.

Judy Oskam: 39:06

Great Perfect, all right Perfect. I love the pig story Love it. I'm serious about the solo podcast.

J.R. Gonzales : 39:16

Yeah, you should think about that. The pig story is. I actually have done one or two the pig story and I'll let you go after this. I was asked to be the commencement speaker at a high school. It was a private school and I'm going, what the heck am I going to talk about? I got there and it was a private school, very upper class, I mean. It was nice, it was elegant, and so I said what can these kids relate to audience, the whole thing? And then, lo and behold, what started coming out of my mouth was the pig story and I incorporated the pig story into milestones of successes and measurements and everything else, and the audience was just looking at me with this dazed look on their face and I'm going.

J.R. Gonzales : 40:03

oh my gosh, I just bombed this one. Then it wasn't until afterwards when I heard the applause and people coming up to me and said I used to go to Ocarina. Springs, I probably saw you, yes, and it helped bring up those younger childhood emotions and everything. And I go, man, I got out of this one.

Judy Oskam: 40:21

Another one.

J.R. Gonzales : 40:23

And a person wrote on my LinkedIn and I'm very proud of that post from that event. They wrote about it. It's probably one of the best speaking reviews I've ever had. But you know, jr is obviously a masterful and experienced orator and he skillfully did this and that and engaged with the audience. I'm going dang. I've got to have this guy write all my stuff, but I got through it. But the pig story is something that is definitely real, it happened and yeah.

Judy Oskam: 40:53

I love that. I love that. Well, thank you for sharing your time and thank you for listening. I'll put some information about JR and his podcast in the show notes. Remember if you've got a story to share or know someone who does. Reach out to me at judyoskam.com. Thanks for listening.

It's probably one of the best speaking reviews I've ever had.00:40:32.333 --> 00:40:40.715


But you know, jr is obviously a masterful and experienced orator and he skillfully did this and that and engaged with the audience.00:40:40.715 --> 00:40:41.387


I'm going dang.00:40:41.387 --> 00:40:46.048


I've got to have this guy write all my stuff, but I got through it.00:40:46.048 --> 00:40:52.889


But the pig story is something that is definitely real, it happened and yeah.00:40:53.429 --> 00:40:54.012


I love that.00:40:54.012 --> 00:40:55.056


I love that.00:40:55.056 --> 00:40:59.291


Well, thank you for sharing your time and thank you for listening.00:40:59.291 --> 00:41:03.315


I'll put some information about JR and his podcast in the show notes.00:41:03.315 --> 00:41:07.335


Remember if you've got a story to share or know someone who does.00:41:07.335 --> 00:41:10.032


Reach out to me at judyoskam.00:41:10.032 --> 00:41:10.032


com.00:41:10.032 --> 00:41:11.135


Thanks for listening.