Navigating Grief and Rediscovering Joy in Memphis

Transcript

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I can hardly believe it is Tuesday again and I have so much to share with you, so much to share with you.

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This was a challenging week for me, extremely, extremely challenging week, and it was a lesson about managing emotions.

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It was a lesson about living your life to the fullest, because we're not promised tomorrow.

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There were many, many, many lessons that I learned in this week, and I flew a lot.

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I flew a three day trip, nowhere significant, where I had extra time to explore, but I'm currently back in Memphis Sadly, I'm not next to Graceland, but I'm at a beautiful hotel downtown and I was able to explore some new sites today and feel good today.

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Today is a new day.

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Today I feel good.

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So let me share with you a few stories.

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A few stories.

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So I had a dear friend that I've known for 30 years, and this friend was like a father figure, a big brother, a loved one, just someone that has been there for me, a loved one, just someone that has been there for me in so many different challenging situations.

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He was there when my kids were young.

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He was there so many times and he would just kind of show up at the times where I felt like I really needed that extra support and it was.

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It was so nice to have that person in your life.

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Do you?

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Do you have that person in your life, the someone that you turn to if you get into a car accident or you have something happen to you that's unexpected?

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You know who do you turn to.

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Well, this was that person.

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He was very special to me and sadly and very quickly he passed away, and there's several messages and lessons in this story that I'm sharing with you.

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He passed away suddenly on Tuesday night of a massive heart attack and we couldn't find him.

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We could not find him for a couple of days and, thank God, his neighbor alerted us to the fact that the ambulance and fire truck and police and everything showed up at his home because he lived alone and you know it.

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Really, we didn't know what to do.

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We were searching hospitals, we were searching the morgues, we were hoping for the best, but something felt off because our friend was very communicative.

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He would not message you back.

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If you messaged him, if he was busy, he would let you know.

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He was just that type of person.

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We didn't think to do a wellness check and I didn't even know such a thing existed that you can actually do a wellness check on a friend or family member, loved one, you could call the police and actually do a wellness check.

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We did.

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I did not know that.

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So we were searching for him for a couple days and then, unfortunately, it was confirmed that he had passed and I was at work, I was on a layover and it was to say, it was devastating.

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Is is an understatement.

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You know, this person that's been there for over 30 years in my life is no longer gone and we were a couple for a while, for about three years, and we had so many goals and so many dreams together that we wanted to do, and one of them was travel and we had planned, you know, many trips to go on together and there was just always something that came up responsibilities, money, just different things that came up that prevented us from traveling to those places.

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And I know he's probably up in heaven going dang.

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I wish I should have done that, I wish I should have gone, I wish I should have slowed down and he wouldn't say, he wouldn't say, smell the roses.

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But I am going to say, slow down and smell the roses.

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And you know we, we get into the grind, we get into the hustle, uh, we get into expanding.

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More is better, more is better, more is better.

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And it makes me think of a story about the fishermen on the dock or the pier.

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I don't know if you guys have ever heard that story, but it goes something like this and you might.

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You might be able to Google it.

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I'm sure you might be able to Google it.

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But the story goes something like this guy is, he's taking a siesta and it's like I don't know mid-afternoon and he's on the dock and this business guy comes up and says Senor, why are you taking a nap in the middle of the day?

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And he said well, I caught my fish for the day.

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And the business guy is like, no, you should be hiring people and you should be having more charters and you should be getting more fish and you should be doing this and this and this and this and this.

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And the guy says why?

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And he says, well, so you can rest more, so you can enjoy more, so you can take more naps.

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And he said but I'm already doing that and I know at one point with my friend, he had his real estate, business and money at a certain level that gave him that freedom and that joy.

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And he kept expanding and expanding and expanding and the joy and the time freedom was diminishing and we weren't able to.

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In his mind, we were not able to do what we had set our mind to do and that makes me sad.

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That makes me sad that we weren't able to live those dreams.

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But we did have lots of fun together.

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He was a part of a or created an exotic car group and we had many, many, many fun times with the friends and we had many, many, many fun times with the friends and the love that has been outpouring from our friends from the car group has been absolutely phenomenal and they will be honoring him and having some drives and having memorial service and really celebrating his life.

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So he did have a beautiful life, I think, just Few regrets that he would have for not, you know, living life to the fullest in certain areas.

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But I want to honor his memory and you can reach out with me privately.

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If you know me personally and want to know more, I'd be more than happy to share, but would like to keep his name and information private, just because I need to.

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It just because I need to, but it, just it really, when someone near you passes away, you really think about your own life, in your own shortcomings, in your own you know.

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Are you living life to the fullest?

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Are you doing what you want to do?

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And, as many of you know, I've been working with Coach CJ and he has, you know, really highlighted some points with me about are you living life to the fullest?

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To me it's interesting.

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Every coach needs a coach.

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He has a coach, I have a coach and I coach.

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It's very interesting how that kind of all works out, but we all need accountability.

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We all need that.

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I coach.

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It's very interesting how that kind of all works out, but we all need accountability.

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We all need that amazing coach.

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And I'm stepping in to my greatness even more than I have before, because we're not promised tomorrow.

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And if I can, if I can change one person's life to live more fully, to realize more dreams, to have more special memories, more vacations, more time with our loved one, I am there, I'm all in to help you.

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I offer coaching sessions privately.

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I offer probably the least expensive and great starting point to just kind of get in with working with me is my coaching group that we meet twice a month and we set one goal and we have accountability and action steps daily and hold each other accountable.

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And that group, our new group, is starting this Friday.

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So this resonates with you.

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You have a dream, you have a passion, you have a destination.

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Maybe you always wanted to go to Paris or France or Italy, wherever.

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Wherever that destination is, then reach out to me.

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Reach out to me and let's talk about it.

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Let's get you started in my group.

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Let's get your actions, your dreams, moving, because we aren't promised tomorrow.

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And you guys, this was challenging.

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This really, really, really knocked me down and I don't want to say I sunk into a depression, but darn near, and I had to push through it, as Coach CJ would say is like do it through it.

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And he challenged me to keep up some action steps that I had to do daily and it wasn't easy.

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I wanted to just stay in bed, I just wanted to cry my eyes out, and that wasn't doing me any good.

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I chose to continue working, which really was a challenge, and I had a great conversation with his sister that really helped me a lot, and she said he wouldn't want you to not keep on living your life, he wouldn't want you to sink into depression.

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It doesn't do any good, and so I'm grateful for the support, I'm grateful for the experiences, I'm grateful for the wake up of man.

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We are just not promised tomorrow, we don't know.

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He went very quickly from the time that he called 911.

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He passed within 45 minutes and I want to honor his life and celebrate his life and really step into my power and step into my greatness and serve and help and guide people, guide you, guide you to your dreams, to your goals, to your destinations.

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And listen the scrolling and the Netflix and the couch will still be there, my friends, the couch will still be there.

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So, yeah, so many lessons this week, and I woke up today with a new energy, with a new zest, with honoring him, with talking about wellness checks and the importance of them.

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Maybe I'll do a little fundraiser about it or see how I can become more of an advocate for people that live alone, because that is no one wants to die home alone.

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So those things are really important to get that message out there, and I know that he would really want that, and in the coming weeks, we will be having a celebration of life and really honoring his memories and I really hold the friendships and the conversations and the times that we had together, driving down the road in the McLaren with the wind in our hair and rocking out to the music and going with the car, friends and on those drives was really special, special times.

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So I am.

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I woke up here today and back in Memphis, like I said earlier in the podcast show and I decided okay, I got to keep on living, I got to keep on, I got to get out of my slump, I got to get out of my depression, I got to just wake up, work out, explore, record and get back to it.

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And I had so much fun today and I have a huge smile on my face.

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If you can't, you can't see me, but you can hear the smile on my face.

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I went to the pro bath shop pyramid.

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It's like a giant pyramid and I Ubered over there and it was so much fun over there and it was so much fun.

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Uh, when you, when you walk in, it's, it's all the hunting stuff, all the the boats and the water and they have alligators and fish ponds and giant fish I think they're catfish in there and bridges and it's like a.

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It's like a little Disney land in there, disney World in there.

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It's like you step back into, like the swamps and stuff.

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It was really cool.

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I explored all around and then I went up this elevator.

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It's $8 to go up to the top, to the restaurant and the observation deck, and it was really beautiful.

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And connect with me on my Facebook and my Instagram at, excuse me, at Take Flight with Monica and you will see my pictures.

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And I had so much fun.

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The observation deck was just beautiful.

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Then I went to the restaurant and had a black and blue salad and a steak salad.

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Oh my goodness, it was delightful, it was so yummy and I just I felt so alive and just like the sun on my face when I was out on the observation deck and the wind in my hair and just feeling like he would want me to move on to live life, to really just have those amazing experiences, and I just his memory will live on in my heart and my soul and he changed my life forever.

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So I was just enjoying my salad, just having a great, took all kinds of really super fun videos and pictures, just loved it.

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Went back downstairs, caught an Uber Uber yell when I got in the car.

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Oh my gosh, it smelled like marijuana.

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I'm like I hope I'm not getting high from secondhand marijuana.

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She was a brand new Uber driver.

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The license didn't match.

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I was like, oh my goodness, it was crazy.

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But um, I got in the uber and she just like dropped me off in the like practically the middle of the street in front of my hotel.

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But I'm grateful that she did that, because when I got out of the Uber I noticed this sign and this sign was talking about this place called Larsky Larsky.

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And come to find out not Larsky, excuse me Lansky Brothers.

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Lansky Brothers a clothier to the king brothers.

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Lansky brothers a clothier to the king, lucky Brothers was founded in 1948 by Bernard and Guy Lansky With a $125 investment from their father, sl Lansky.

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The store began at 126 Beale Street as an army surplus store but gradually changed to accommodate customers interested in one-of-a-kind look.

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At the time, beale Street was the center of the American social and music scene in Memphis.

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Sometimes outrageous, let's see sometimes outrageous, always years ahead of anything else in town.

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Many of the items were made of bright, vivid and silky fabrics.

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Lansky Brothers quickly became the fashion headquarters to musicians and the clothes savvy Wow, including BB King, isaac Hayes, david Porter, carl Perkins, johnny Cash, jerry Lee Lewis and Ruffus Thomas.

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It was Elvis Presley who helped establish Bernard Lansky's clothier to the King title and allowed for the global recognition.

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Bernard recalls looking up one day and seeing a young man looking in his windows.

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He walked up to greet him and told him come on in, let me show you around.

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The young man said I don't have any money, mr Lansky, but when I get rich I'm going to buy you out.

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And Bernard told him don't buy me out, just buy from me.

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Lansky outfitted Elvis for his performances on the Ed Sullivan show, dorsey Brothers show and the Louisiana Hayride.

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Bernard dressed Elvis in the pink and black combination which defined the cool colors of the 50s era.

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The Lansky family has cultivated a legacy that is three generations now and is still operating clothing stores in the lobby of the historic Peabody Hotel.

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You guys, that's where I went and it was so fun and so beautiful.

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And while I was there I had the great pleasure of working and talking not working talking with Rick Ballinger.

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And Rick was dressed to the nines.

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He looked absolutely amazing.

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And again, you can see my pictures, like on Instagram, on my tik-tok, and on my Facebook, and you will see how snazzy Rick was looking.

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But he showed me around and he showed me all the like the Ed Sullivan jacket.

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He showed me the replica of the jacket that Elvis got married in.

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He just showed me all around the store and I was having a blast.

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It was.

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I didn't even know that was here.

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I had no idea.

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I'm an Elvis fan and I've never even heard about it.

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So if you want to learn more and see the shop, well, come to Memphis for sure.

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But if you can't get here right away, the shop will come to Memphis for sure, but if you can't get here right away, then go to wwwlanskybroscom and check it out.

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You guys, I was like blown away, let me see.

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He gave me some information.

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It says let's see.

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Fun fact oh, oh yeah, we talked about that.

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Define the colors of the 50s with the pink and black combination.

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When Elvis was at the peak of his pink and black phase, he was buying his clothes from Lansky brothers as well as Cadillacs in the color pink.

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Prior to Elvis, men simply never wore pink.

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After Elvis wore this distinct color combination, all the guys in the neighborhood followed.

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We think these colors were defined the cool, electric colors of the long gone but not forgotten error.

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That's really cool.

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It says Elvis would walk into the Lansky brothers on Beale Street and Bernard Lansky would put together wild combinations in pink and black.

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Lansky brothers would like to take credit for pink and black because of Elvis popularity while wearing these colors in the 1950s.

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Now, listen you guys, if I wasn't paying attention at the uber crazy uber driver that's what it smelled like marijuana in there didn't just drop me off in the middle of the street and I happened to look up and see in the window.

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I want to noticed it, and so I'm so grateful that she did that and dropped me off.

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And so they have a men's shop and then they also have a ladies shop and they have a guitar collection in there of all the people that have bought from them and they autographed the guitars and I took pictures of, like, the guitars and the autographs.

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It was a delightful afternoon and you guys, guess, guess what.

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I could have just stayed in bed.

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I could have just cried my eyes out in a ball and sunken to depression.

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But that's not living my life, that's not honoring my friend.

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Yeah, I tell you, half the battle in life is getting up out of bed, getting up out of bed and making your heart like what makes you happy, what makes your heart sing.

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I had so many great experiences today and I feel so much better than I did over the past couple of days, because I've shifted into celebrating his life and laughing about the good times that we had together, the trips that we did go on, the drives that we just had, that music just rocking along and just enjoying.

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Enjoying every moment.

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And that is my message for you today Live life to the fullest, make those dreams happen, because we're not promised tomorrow.

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Get up out of bed, get off of Netflix, stop scrolling and if you're going to scroll, scroll for a little bit, set your timer and then get back to it.

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I encourage you to join my group.

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It's called Launchpad and if you're not able to meet us at the time that we're live, I'm setting up a plan where you can submit your dream and I'll do a recording.

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Recording and we will work together remote and move you forward with accountability, with action steps.

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We will be using a lot of the AI technology that I've learned and I want to share that with my group.

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As many of you know or maybe you don't know I was in a 16-week AI course and I learned a lot about it and I probably use it almost every day, almost every day, as a great tool and resource.

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So I encourage you just get up out of bed, get up, get up, get up out of bed, live your life to the fullest, make your dreams come true.

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Stop and smell the roses Sometimes, take that little nap in the afternoon, but get your action steps done, live life.

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My friends, until next week.

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Bye from Memphis.

Navigating Grief and Rediscovering Joy in Memphis

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