Mrs Lirriper's Lodgings Part 2 by Charles Dickens

Mrs Lirriper’s Lodgings by Charles Dickens: stories of a London landlady in Victorian England

Episode 2 – A Tragic Arrival

Cast
Narrator -                        Jim Newberry
Mrs Lirriper -                S J Vant
 Mr Edson -                    Jim Newberry
Major Jackman -        Mike Ayris
Postman -                      Mark Smith
Mrs Edson -                  Emma Willatts

Voice/text

FX Intro theme music

Narrator

Mrs Emma Lirriper, London landlady of the 1860s, is a woman of many opinions. In Episode 1, we heard how she first entered the lodgings business, and her views of Wandering Christians, the girls in her service and her arch-rival, Miss Wozenham, “lower down and over the way”.  We heard too of the arrival of her long-standing guest and confidant Major Jemmy Jackman. 

 In this episode, with two new guests on the Second Floor, events take a much darker turn.

 SCENE: Interior of lodging house room

 Mrs Lirriper

Such was the beginning of Major Jackman occupying the parlours, and from that hour to this he has been a most obliging lodger, except one irregularity which I need not particularly specify. But he has more than made up for this by being a protection to me, and once collared a young man who had the drawing room clock hidden under his coat; and once on the parapets with his own hands and blankets, he put out the kitchen chimney that was afire. 

He is ever quite the gentleman, though passionate, and though he is far from tall, he seems almost so when he has his shirt frill out, and his frock coat on, and his hat with the curly brims. And in what service he was in I cannot truly tell you my dear, whether Militia or Foreign, for I never heard him even name himself as Major but always simple “Jemmy Jackman”. In this respect, soon after he came, I let him know of certain facts.

FX the taking of tea

Major Jackman, I have to tell you that Miss Wozenham, lower down and over the way, has been putting it about that you are no Major, which of course you are, sir.

 Major Jackman

(Short pause)  Madam at any rate I am not a Minor, and sufficient for the day is the evil thereof.

 Mrs Lirriper

This cannot be denied to be the sacred truth, nor yet his military ways of having his boots, with only the dirt brushed off, taken to him in the front parlour every morning on a clean plate and varnishing them himself with a little sponge and a saucer, and so neat in his ways that it never soils his linen which is scrupulous, though more in quality than quantity.  

 Neither that nor his moustachios which are, to the best of my belief, done at the same time and which are as black and shining as his boots, his head of hair being a lovely white.  Many is the little ruffle in my mind that the Major has smoothed, for he is a clever man who has seen much.  

 It was nearly three years of the Major staying in the parlours that early one February morning, when Parliament was coming on - and you may therefore suppose that a number of impostors were about to take hold of anything they could get - that a gentleman and lady from the country came in to view the Second Floor. I did not quite take to the face of the gentleman, though he was good-looking, but the lady was a very pretty and delicate young thing.  

 Now it did so happen, my dear, that I had been forced to put five shillings weekly additional on the price of the Second Floor in consequence of another loss, with the lodger running away full-dressed as if going out to a dinner party, which was very artful and had made me, along with Parliament, rather suspicious of taking this booking.

 Mr Edson

We shall pay three months in advance with leave to renew on the same terms for six months more.

Mrs Lirriper

Oh…of course...excuse me a moment, I am not quite certain but I may have engaged myself to another party but would step downstairs and look into it.  Please take a seat.

 FX boot being rubbed and man whistling to himself

 FX door being knocked quietly

 Major Jackman

If it’s you, madam, come in.

 Mrs Lirriper

Sorry to disturb your boot varnishing, Sir, but can I have a word?

 FX Mrs Lirriper whispering, Major Jackman grunting acknowledgement 

 Major Jackman

Well, madam, I suppose you would be glad of the money?

Mrs Lirriper

(Quietly) Yes.

 Major Jackman

I am of opinion, ma’am, that when money is ready for you – when it is ready for you Mrs Lirriper – you ought to take it.  What is there against it, madam, in this case upstairs?

 Mrs Lirriper

I really cannot say there is anything against it, Sir, still I thought I would consult you.

 Major Jackman

You said a newly-married couple I think, madam?

 Mrs Lirriper

Ye-es.  Evidently.  And indeed the young lady mentioned to me in a casual way that she had not been married many months.

FX sponge in water, polishing, and quiet whistling

 Major Jackman

You would call it a Good Let, Madam?

 Mrs Lirriper

O certainly a Good Let, Sir.

Major Jackman

Say they renew for the additional six months.  Would it put you about very much Madam – if the worst was to come to the worst…in the family way for them?

 Mrs Lirriper

Well I hardly know.  It depends upon circumstances.  Would you object Sir for instance?

 Major Jackman

I? Object? Jemmy Jackman? Mrs Lirriper, close with the proposal!

 Mrs Lirriper

So up the stairs I went and accepted, and they came in next day which was Saturday and the Major was so good as to draw up a Memorandum of Agreement, in a beautiful round hand and expressions that sounded to me equally Legal and Military, and Mr Edson signed it on the Monday morning.

 The first three months paid-for had run out without any fresh overtures as to payment into May, my dear, when there came an obligation upon Mr Edson to go on a business expedition right across the Isle of Man, which fell quite unexpectedly on the pretty little thing, and the Isle of Man is not a place that, according to my views, is particularly in the way to anywhere at any time, but that may be a matter of opinion.  So short a notice was it that he had to go next day.

 FX Mrs Edson crying, sobbing

 Mr Edson

There, there now let me go Peggy.

Mrs Lirriper

I am sure I cried too when I saw her on the cold pavement in the sharp east wind taking a last leave of him, with her pretty bright hair blowing this way and that and her arms clinging round his neck.  And by that time it was plain that what the Major had been so accommodating as to say he would not object to happening in the house, would happen in it.

 FX Mrs Edson crying and sobbing

 Mrs Lirriper

(Comforting) There, there, you will soon have another to keep up for my pretty and you must think of that.

 Mrs Edson

(Sobbing) Yes.

 Mrs Lirriper

His letter never came when it ought to have, and what she went through, morning after morning, when the postman brought none for her.  But at last one morning, when she was too poorly to come running downstairs.

FX front door opening

 Postman

I have taken you first in the street this morning Mrs Lirriper, for here’s the one for Mrs Edson.

FX knock on internal door that opens; joy and excitement from Mrs Edson, tearing open of the letter

 Mrs Edson

Oh it’s very short!  O Mrs Lirriper, it is very short!

 Mrs Lirriper

My dear Mrs Edson no doubt that’s because your husband hadn’t the time to write more just then.

Mrs Edson

(Crestfallen)  No doubt, no doubt.

FX quiet sobbing, door closing and muffled sobbing continuing 

FX tapping on internal door

 Mrs Lirriper

(Whispering urgent)  Major!

 FX door opening

 Major Jackman

Hush! I see something’s the matter. Don’t speak - take time.

 Mrs Lirriper

Oh Major, I’m afraid there’s cruel work upstairs.

 Major Jackman

(Quick to anger) I shall never forgive myself madam that I, Jemmy Jackman, didn’t see it all that first morning – didn’t go straight upstairs when my boot sponge was in my hand – didn’t force it down his throat and choke him dead with it on the spot!

Mrs Lirriper

The Major and me agreed when we came to ourselves that just at present we could do no more than take on to suspect nothing and use our best endeavours to keep that poor young creature quiet.

 To see the postman now come near the house gave me such a fear that it was a reprieve when he went by, until about another 10 days or fortnight.

 FX knock at door and opening

 Postman

Here’s one for Mrs Edson – is she pretty well?

Mrs Lirriper

(For public consumption) She is pretty well postman, but not well enough to rise as early as she used.

 FX door closing

 Mrs Lirriper

(To herself) Which is so far the gospel truth.  Major I have another letter and I have not the courage to take it up to her.

Major Jackman

It’s an ill-looking villain of a letter.

Mrs Lirriper

(Trembling) I have not the courage Major to take it up to her.

 Major Jackman

(Anger) Mrs Lirriper I shall never forgive myself that I, Jemmy Jackman, didn’t go straight upstairs that morning with my boot sponge in my hand and force it down his throat – and choke him dead with it!

 Mrs Lirriper

(Hastily)  Major, you did not do it which is a blessing, for it would have done no good, and I think your sponge was better employed on your own honourable boots.

 Major Jackman

(Frustration) Hrmmph!

 Mrs Lirriper

So, we got to be rational and planned that I should tap at her bedroom door and lay the letter on the mat outside and wait on the upper landing for what might happen.  Never was gunpowder, cannon balls, shells, or rockets more dreaded that that dreadful letter was by me as I took it up. 

 FX a beat then blood-curdling scream from Mrs Edson, steps running quickly up stairs

Mrs Lirriper

Mrs Edson, oh Mrs Edson – Major!  She is on the floor as if her life has gone!

 Major Jackman

Coming madam!  

 FX Mrs Edson coming to

 Mrs Lirriper

Mrs Edson, you’re not well my dear and it’s not to be wondered at!

 Mrs Edson

(Groggily) Thank you Mrs Lirriper.  I will try to rest for my head is bad.

 Mrs Lirriper

(Whispering) Major, I beg and pray of you don’t go out.

 Major Jackman

(Whispering) Madam, trust me I will do no such thing.  How is she?

 Mrs Lirriper

Major, the good Lord above us only knows what burns and rages in her poor mind.  I left her sitting at her window.  I am going to sit at mine.

Major Jackman

Capital idea, Madam.

Mrs Lirriper

It came on afternoon and it came on evening.  Norfolk is a delightful street to lodge in – provided you don’t go lower down – but of a summer evening when the dust and waste paper lie in it and a kind of gritty calm and bake settles on it, it is a trifle dull.  Never shall I see it evermore without seeing that dull June evening when that forlorn creature sat at her open corner window on the Second and me at mine on the Third.  While it was yet light, I sat in my bonnet and shawl and as the shadows fell and the tide rose, I could sometimes see that she leaned out a little looking down the street.  

FX dramatic background music begins

 It was just settling dark when I looked up - and saw her in the street.  Fearful of losing sight of her, I went downstairs faster than I have ever moved in my life.  She was gone already.  I made the same speed down the street and when I came to the corner of Howard Street, I saw that she had turned it and was plain before me going west. 

 She was quite unacquainted with London so I knew she must be going at hazard; still she kept to the bye streets quite correctly as she went up into the Strand.  But at every corner I could see her head turned one way that was always to the river.

 All this time she never once looked back.  But now there was a great change in the manner of her going, instead of a steady quick walk with her arms folded, she now went among the dark dismal arches in a wild way with her arms open wide as if they were wings and she was flying to her death.  We were on the wharf when she stopped.  I stopped - saw her hands go to her bonnet strings - and took off as quick as I could.

FX Mrs Lirriper running, heavy breathing from exertion

 Mrs Lirriper

Noooooo!

 FX dramatic background music climaxes

 FX colliding bodies, resulting loss of breath, and brief struggle

 Mrs Edson

Oooh!

 Mrs Lirriper

(Breathless, recovering) Mrs Edson!  My dear!  Take care.  However did you lose your way and stumble on a dangerous place like this?  Why I thought nobody ever got here, except me to order my coals and the Major in the parlours to smoke his cigar.

 Major Jackman

(Throat clearing) Ha-ha-hum!

 Mrs Lirriper

And goodness gracious me, why here he is!  

 Major Jackman

(Military sentry) Halloa!  Who goes there?

 Mrs Lirriper

Well, if this don’t beat everything!  Don’t you know us Major Jackman?

Major Jackman

(Still “in the dark”) Halloa!  Who calls on Jemmy Jackman?

 Mrs Lirriper

Why here’s Mrs Edson, Major, strolling out to cool her poor head, which has been very bad, she has missed her way and got lost, and Goodness knows where she might have got to but for me coming here to drop an order into my coal merchant’s letter box, and you coming here to smoke a cigar.  

 And you really are not well enough my dear to be half so far from home without me – and your arm will be very acceptable I am sure Major, and I know she may lean upon it as heavily as she likes. 

 Mrs Edson

(Very weakly) Thank you.

 Mrs Lirriper

She was all in a cold shiver and she so continued till I had laid her in her own bed, she holding me by the hand.

Mrs Edson

(Moaning over and over) O wicked, wicked, wicked!

 Mrs Lirriper

From that time, she always had hold of my hand when I could spare it which was generally only when I read to her.  She had a grateful look in her eyes – like a little affectionate, half- broken hearted child - that never, never will be out of mine until they are closed in my last sleep.  

 FX Mrs Edson trembling, crying, whispering unknowable words

 Mrs Lirriper

No, my dear, not now, you had best not try to tell me now.  Wait for better times when you have got over this and are strong, and then you shall speak to me of whatever you will.  Only one word now my dear.  Is there anyone?

Mrs Edson

Anyone?

 Mrs Lirriper

That I can go to?  No one that I can bring?

 Mrs Edson

(Sobbing) No.

 Mrs Lirriper

No one is wanted by me my dear.  Now that may be considered past and gone.

FX sad music in background

FX Mrs Edson – heavy laboured breathing, continuing

Mrs Lirriper

Not much more than a week afterwards – for this was far on in the time of our being together – I was bending over her at the bedside with my ear down to her lips, by turns listening for her breath and looking for a sign of life in her face.  At last it came in a solemn way, like a kind of pale faint light brought very slow to the face.

Mrs Edson

(Breathing heavily, whispered, very weak) Is this death?

Mrs Lirriper

(Emotional) Poor dear, poor dear, I think it is.

FX Mrs Edson croaking  and coughing

Knowing somehow that she wanted me to move her weak right hand, I took it and laid it on her breast and then folded her other hand upon it.  She prayed a good prayer, oh so faintly, and I joined in it.  Then I brought the baby in its wrappers from where it lay and she kissed it and me for the last time.

 FX very young baby gurgling etc.

 Mrs Lirriper

(To Mrs Edson, emotional) My dear, this is sent to a childless old woman.  This is for me to take care of.  Please God, me and the Major.

 FX sad music builds

 Mrs Edson

(Dying breath)  Haaaaaa.

 Mrs Lirriper

I don’t know how to tell it right, but I saw her soul brighten and leap up and get free in a final grateful look.

 FX sad music builds to crescendo and fades