In Search of Authentic Bonds Beyond the Glitter of Wealth

Transcript

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somebody he's cool with.

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He's not gonna marry somebody that he likes.

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Just because I like you don't mean I'm gonna marry you.

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You will not impress him with your looks.

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Your looks will get him to look, but afterwards he'll look the other way, because, as good as you think you look, there's another lady that looks just as good as you, if not better.

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Have you ever noticed that there are men who will marry a woman that looks less good because the true beauty in who she is is the fact that she challenges him to be a better person?

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You see, there's not one man in here who will marry a woman just because she looked good and just because she got a nice smile, just because that's not why he's marrying you.

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He's marrying you because one day he sat on a bed and he said this woman makes me want to do something real, this woman makes me want to have kids.

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This woman makes me want to have a business, have a job, get my money right, get it together.

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That's what relationship is all about.

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You see, relationship is not friendship, friendship is just courting, but relationship is partnership.

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Welcome to the Money Way Show, and I'm with your host, cj Money Way, let's get it.

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What's up, my good people, this is your boy, cj Money Way.

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Welcome to the Money Way Show, the Moneyway Experience on a Wednesday night.

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Today is May 1st.

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Again, I'd like to throw out there Steel Town Records.

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Hey, we coming back full force.

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I'm glad to have a part of this, I'm glad to have my hands in it and to get this record label back into the community.

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Get it at full strength.

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Like I said, you know, they got actors, they got actresses where they on the lookout for actors, actresses, independent artists, producers.

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So, hey, check out the website.

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They got some nice merch.

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Every time you hit me on the money way show, i'ma keep on spitting them out there like that, because it's something that I feel good to be a part of and I'm glad that they invited me into their family.

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Also, juneteenth, there's an event happening in Iowa.

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I'm glad that I've been invited to come there to do interviews, to get footage for my podcast.

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They're also going to be live streaming and so I'll be able to have the streaming sites and everything, the links and everything on my post and my show notes and everything.

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So, yeah, check that out.

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It's for Mental Health.

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Juneteenth, they got a lot of things going on.

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I'll be doing an interview with them pretty soon and they'll be able to explain everything that they're doing.

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But I'm just excited about that.

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So tune in to that.

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That's going to be June 15, 2024.

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So I will hope that you guys will tune in and just support what they're trying to do.

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It's something fascinating that they're doing out there in Iowa and it's something different, and I'm just glad that they asked me to be a part of it, man, so so welcome to the CJ Money Waste show today.

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I really didn't didn't mean to go there, this direction today, but I happened to stumble across something and it was talking about.

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You know, you heard the beginning where he was talking about a man finding a woman, and so I just want to share a little experience with mine on how me and my wife got together and how we you know how we wind up getting married and everything.

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So we met in 1992 and we kicked it off.

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But you know, I was a playboy At least I called myself a playboy so I was out there doing my thing.

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I was just being went out, had a lot of kids, went all around the world, but still, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't find my baby.

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I don't know and I don't know why.

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Yeah, that was me.

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Papa was a Rolling Stone.

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I know that's too damn song, but anyway, as time went by, I had some kids.

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My wife, she was just always.

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I never thought that I would marry her.

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I never thought that she would be my wife.

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I just always thought that she was a good lady, a good girl that was always there when I needed it.

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It was funny that I guess today was just meant to talk about this today, because I was talking to a young man and we had a pretty good discussion at work today, on top of me hearing this message, and so I guess that's that was just something that was in my spirit that I felt like I needed to talk about today.

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So so, yeah, so, um, I went around, moved to Detroit in 2000 yeah, 2000 stayed there for five years, had two kids, actually thought I was going to marry my son's mother, and that turned out to be something totally different.

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You have to check it out in the book Mud G the Confessions of a Rolling Stone.

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So that didn't work out and so I came back home and I got with my wife and all the things that I had did or whatever, she still took me back.

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And so in 2008, 2007, I believe I made the commitment to her.

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I said, look, if you take me back this time, man, I promise I'll be a better man and I'll change.

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Just like the guy say you know you want a woman that can see the inside of you.

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So you know so all the stuff that I did in life and all the women that I had been with, this, that and the third.

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She knew all that and so there were layers that she already knew about me.

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So it wasn't that she was coming into a situation where she was blind.

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And so I say that to say that sometimes, when people know who you are or know who you were, and then they can begin seeing the change in you because they knew how you operate, seeing the change in you because they knew how you operate, I mean it's not like you heard about this or somebody else told you about it or whatever.

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You lived it and you saw it.

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And now you see this transformation and just to have a woman that was willing to stick there by a man's side as he went through his trials and tribulations and I'm talking about pockets inside out man, like had a good job, you know, had some decent jobs, man.

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But when you live in this life and sometimes you think you winning and I'm talking to you brothers, man, I'm talking to some of you brothers out there Sometimes you think you, you winning, and you, out there, hot, rah, rah, right, you partying and kicking it like it's 1999 and you're going to the clubs, you popping bottles and you buying all the freshest gym shoes and this, that and the third.

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But, man, in reality though, in reality, it may seem like you winning, but, bruh, you can be losing like a mug, and that was your boy.

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I was straight losing.

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You can just put an L on my head loser, but in my mind I was winning.

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But, man, I was losing like a mug man.

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And you don't realize how, how bad you're losing, until you step into a situation.

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Then you realize that you don't have nothing.

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I remember going back to Detroit and I packed my stuff up.

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I packed all my clothes up and everything and all I had.

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I was able to pack up everything that I had in the backseat of my car and in my trunk and at that moment it made me realize, as I'm riding to Detroit, thinking I'm winning but I was losing, that I realized I didn't have nothing and I was like man Corey, you know, you got to change your life, man, you got to do better than this, because this is losing.

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Whenever you can pack up everything that you have, everything that you own, in your car, man, you ain't got too much of nothing, just some clothes, some shoes, some drawers, some socks.

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And when you ain't got nothing, that's even limited, because you're not thinking about the necessities and the things that you need in life.

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I got a couple pair of drawers, a couple pair of socks, some blue jeans, a couple of jogging suits.

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I'm fresh, I'm cool, man, life ain't all about that.

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And so, yeah, when I realized I ain't have a TV, when I realized I ain't have a bed, a couch or nothing, I ain't have nothing.

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So, in 2009, me and my wife got married and, honestly, man, that was the best thing that happened to me.

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Time.

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Was I still going out to the hood kicking it?

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Yeah, I was, but over time, though, when you begin to have a family, I'm sorry.

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I was watching this Lakers game and these Lakers was winning by 20 points and they messed around and lost at the last second of the game.

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Wow.

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Yeah, if everybody know, I'm a big Lakers fan—I got to cut this off.

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Man, I'm a little disgusted right now.

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I'm a little perturbed.

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So everybody know I've been a Lakers fan.

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If you don't know, I've been a Laker fan for 44 years.

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Do I think that they can?

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Did I think that they can beat Denver?

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No, but after going up, being in control of the game for the whole game up until the last second of the game and then lose after you was up by 20, yeah, it's a little discouraging, but I used to get mad about stuff like that where I couldn't watch SportsCenter or whatnot, man.

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But I'm a little older now.

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I realize sometimes that people in life they got one, they go home and they're going to be happy and they're going to be joyful, they got more money than you can imagine and they're going to take trips and support their families and this and that.

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So that's another story for another day.

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I just had to vent about that real quick.

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But getting back to the situation, when you have a woman on your team, man, that's down for you.

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That's there regardless.

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You know wherever the chips may fall for better, like the words say, when you get married for better or for worse.

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Man.

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That's something special because we're living in a day and time where If I was sinking and she was able to save herself, she gonna go save herself and will allow me to sink, unless I can find my way back to shore and get myself back together.

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Then she may come back.

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I don't want no woman like that.

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I don't want a woman that she's cool when everything is fine and everything is good on the surface, but then when we start hitting some turbulence, when we start going down a little rocky path and things of that nature, then you split on me, then you leave me.

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I mean, come on now.

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I mean I know some men deal with women like that and I know some women do that.

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But life is all about the choices that you make.

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And if you don't want to deal with something, you don't have to.

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And sometimes you go into certain situations and certain relationships blinded because you don't actually know that if things get hard and the times get rough, that that lady going to leave you.

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When it happened you don't know that.

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You hope that it don't happen, but a lot of times you got to read the signs a lot of times If your woman all about material things and that's the only thing that excites her.

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And when she can't get that Birkin bag, or when she can't get that Louis bag, or that Gucci bag, or them Gucci shoes, or them red bottoms, or the designer glasses and this and that, if that's what she focused on and if that's what her life has been built on, and this is what you have done to keep her satisfied, man, if you hit some rocky roads, bruh, she ain't going to be that long, because this is how you have built her up.

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These are the things that you have spoiled her with.

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And so if you can't get with these things, no more a lot of times I'm not saying all women I like that, I'm not, you know, don't get me wrong, don't get me twisted.

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I'm not saying all women I like that, but for a good majority, if our relationship is built on material things, then it's not built on love.

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It's built on what you can do for me, not what we have Now.

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We might have a nice home, because you provided me with a nice home, and I'm driving around in a Lexus or a Porsche or whatever the case may be, but it's the material things that attracted me and it's the material things.

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That's keeping me.

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But go broke and trust me, man, I've talked to a couple of people.

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I've done some interviews with a couple of people.

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I hope you all check it out.

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I did one with this guy named Martin Salama and he talks about this very thing.

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Man, he was a million, he was well, he.

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He built himself back up, but, um, millionaire.

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The podcast come out june 21st.

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Man, you're gonna have to check it out.

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Uh, he was a millionaire.

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They went to go build this property.

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They wanted to build like a tennis court, but they was, you know, said that they had to do a lot of stuff and build like some other amenities with it, like a swimming pool and basketball court and all that.

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So, anyway, the project was like $15 million.

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I don't want to get you all into the story, but I just you know.

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So I'm going to fast forward it.

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So in 2006, you know, then they didn't get the permits to 2008.

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And by this time the banks wasn't giving out loans because we was going through a recession, if anybody remember, at that time we was going through a recession.

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So at this point, now that he's got, the banks weren't giving out loans.

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So he and I already put three million of his dollars in and borrowed money from family because you know they they looking at a 15 million dollar project.

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They're gonna get money from the.

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He'll be able to pay people back, whatever.

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Whatever, it didn't happen that way, so he wound up losing.

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He wound up losing his investment and the house went into foreclosure.

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They came and towed his Mercedes in front of his house and I don't know we laughed about it because I don't know if anybody else have ever got their car repossessed and watched the repo man sit there and repossess their car.

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That is not a good feeling, but at the same time, it was some responsibilities that one wasn't taking care of, whether it was hardship, lost your job, whatever, whatever the case may be, it is what it is.

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I've lost my car.

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I watched the repo man take my car, had to put my keys under the seat and I just looked out the window and seeing him take my car, man, that was a hurting feeling.

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But uh, life goes on.

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So, yeah, he got his house taken.

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You know he didn't get his house taken because a lot of houses was going in foreclosure, but the the what I'm trying to get to is the.

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The point is is that when he was at rock bottom and he was trying to get into this training program because that's what he does now, the seven figure man he was trying to get into this program didn't have no money went.

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Told the guy look, I don't have no money.

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Told him the situation Blah, blah, blah.

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Skippy Guy said okay, man, I'll let you in the program as long as you pay me monthly and you can't get your certificate until you pay me all the money back.

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So he come home, tell his wife you know the good news, and before he can tell her what was going on, she said she wanted a divorce.

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And before he could tell her what was going on, she said she wanted a divorce Because now, the times that they had been through, she had lived this certain type of life.

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I'm just paraphrasing.

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You know, I don't know the whole situation or how she felt or whatever.

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I'm just saying how things get at times.

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It's like when you built up to a certain point and you're not living, you know, because you got family talking about you.

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Now they was talking about you when you had money because you thought that you was better than them, and so now that you have lost it all.

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Now you looked up high.

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Now you looking down low.

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Now you back down low with the low people.

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They're going to talk about you like a dog and so it's the taking the scrutiny of that and it's taking the scrutiny of your friends, your high society friends and things of that nature.

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You just get beat up in life.

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If a woman, if this is how you built her up, then this is what she expected, and when you can't do it, no more.

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I mean it's just like the drug game back in the day.

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I mean, I come from the 80s, I grew up in the 80s, in the 90s I was grown and so I was in the era where the drug game was big and cats was making money.

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Cats walking around, they coming in the clubs and chinchillas, they popping more wet.

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You know what I'm saying?

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I'm sipping on J Roger's Spumante.

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You know $3 a bottle, they popping $200 bottles.

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I ain't have that type of money and even if I did, I wasn't going to pop no $200 bottle because I had other things to do, other obligations.

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I didn't have money like that.

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I wasn't a baller.

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But so my point is is that the ballers, they got money and so they, but anyway they can do what they do, and so they get somebody, get locked up.

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So the ballers always had a fine piece.

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The pimp will call them the bottom one, and so, but when they go, but when they go to jail, what do that bottom one do?

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What do that fine piece do she gonna go to the next one, the next baller, the next cat that got money in his pocket?

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And I know that I'm not the only one that have seen this, or that I come from the only city where this has been done.

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This is just how it was.

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It's just how the game was, and so sometimes in relationships and in marriages it's the same way, and sometimes a woman can have, and a man too.

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I'm not going to sugarcoat it, but I think that it's more women nowadays than men.

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I could be wrong.

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If I'm wrong, check me, email me.

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Like I say I'm open, email me, comment, say hey, see you wrong about that.

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Let's talk about this.

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Come on, the Money.

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Way show, let's chop it up.

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I'm willing to listen, I don't know everything.

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Way show, that's chop it up.

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I'm willing to listen, I don't know everything.

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So, um, but I think that a lot of times is, a woman can have a good man or a man can have a good woman, but they don't check all about.

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I think we we look picky nowadays.

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It's so much that we want.

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We want the man that that look good, got a nice body, can bang, can bang it out, got a house, got a bank account full, can take care of me, can do all the things that I need to be done and this and that, and so that's what you're looking for.

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But you got this good dude that love you you know what I'm saying that want to be with you and want to build a life with you and want to build a family and want to have kids.

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But he's an ordinary guy.

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He working a regular nine to five and he out there maintaining.

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You want somebody that doing more than maintaining.

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You want somebody that can take you around the world.

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I want to go to Paris, I want to go to the Bahamas.

00:20:19.284 --> 00:20:19.785
I want to go to Bermuda.

00:20:19.785 --> 00:20:20.424
I want to go to Hawaii.

00:20:20.424 --> 00:20:22.926
I want to go to the Bahamas, I want to go to Bermuda, I want to go to Hawaii.

00:20:22.946 --> 00:20:26.769
See, you want all these things and so you look for the guy that can do all these things.

00:20:26.769 --> 00:20:31.815
But then you get with him, then you find out that he really ain't nothing.

00:20:31.815 --> 00:20:35.076
He ready to whoop your butt, or he ready to put his hands on you.

00:20:35.076 --> 00:20:36.020
He control.

00:20:36.020 --> 00:21:01.500
These are the things that you're looking for, and so we miss out on like the guy said, we miss out on the one that was meant for us, and so a lot of times we have to understand that it's not what we're really looking for, but it's who God sent for us, because we can man why you think so many marriages end in divorce right now, why you think so many marriages end in divorce right now.

00:21:01.500 --> 00:21:07.320
It's not because society say this, or because your mama and daddy went through this, or your mama was never married and your daddy no.

00:21:07.320 --> 00:21:08.125
That ain't what it is.

00:21:08.125 --> 00:21:24.346
It's because you're looking for something that is not obtainable, because you're always going to go through some rocky starts, and so you can go back on them experiences that you seen with your mom, or that you seen with your daddy, or what you didn't see.

00:21:24.346 --> 00:21:36.845
And so you run, and so you trying to find a safe place, and so you run into, you run in here, there and, like sidewall fair, you run in everywhere, because you're looking for comfort.

00:21:36.845 --> 00:21:40.152
You're looking for somebody to comfort you.

00:21:40.451 --> 00:21:49.042
You don't want to comfort nobody, and so that's what we're living in, a society now where women just won't, won't, won't, want comfort.

00:21:49.042 --> 00:21:55.624
They don't want to be a wife, they don't really want to do the things that their mama did or that their grandmama did.

00:21:55.624 --> 00:21:57.487
I don't want to live like that, no more.

00:21:57.487 --> 00:22:07.820
And that's perfectly fine if that's not what you want to do, but at the same time, quit perpetrating out here in these streets like it is what you want to do.

00:22:07.820 --> 00:22:13.451
How can a man know what you want when you don't even know what you want?

00:22:13.451 --> 00:22:25.038
But you get mad at somebody for not knowing what you want, but in reality, in reality, you do not know what you want.

00:22:25.505 --> 00:22:35.940
You're steady going out there searching for different things, because what you have is not what you really want, because you're looking for more.

00:22:35.940 --> 00:22:38.412
And it's the same way with me.

00:22:38.412 --> 00:22:42.816
I got something good, but it's not what I really want.

00:22:42.816 --> 00:22:44.898
I'm not going to get excited enough.

00:22:44.898 --> 00:22:48.295
She's a this one over here, a freaking this one over here.

00:22:48.295 --> 00:22:49.980
Do this and this and the third.

00:22:49.980 --> 00:22:51.546
That's what I'm looking for in my life.

00:22:51.546 --> 00:23:06.637
But you got a good wife at home that's sitting up there, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, going grocery shopping, cleaning the house, doing all the things that a woman does.

00:23:06.778 --> 00:23:08.721
And don't say that I'm a male chauvinist.

00:23:08.721 --> 00:23:25.587
I'm just saying a woman that enjoys being a wife, a woman that enjoys being a mother, a woman that enjoys the fact that I have a husband that loves me and I love my husband unconditionally, a husband that loves me and I love my husband unconditionally.

00:23:25.587 --> 00:23:26.989
But a lot of times that ain't what we.

00:23:26.989 --> 00:23:30.031
We want that, but we want more.

00:23:30.031 --> 00:23:35.196
And then we get baffled on why things ain't working out.

00:23:35.196 --> 00:23:39.781
Or I'm bringing home the money, what's she getting attitude about?

00:23:39.781 --> 00:23:43.239
I'm paying this, I'm paying that, but a woman needs more than that, fellas.

00:23:43.239 --> 00:23:49.265
A woman needs you to be your butt at home at night.

00:23:49.265 --> 00:23:55.748
She needs to be able to trust you so that she can give you all that she has Women.

00:23:55.807 --> 00:24:00.996
Same way, a man don't want no woman that's going out three, four times a week.

00:24:00.996 --> 00:24:16.529
I'm sorry, because if you're going out three, four times a week and you got a man at home that's not really into that lifestyle but he want to sit on the couch, chill, watch Netflix or whatever.

00:24:16.529 --> 00:24:21.926
If you got that type of man but you want to run the streets, but you still with the dude.

00:24:21.926 --> 00:24:28.532
He going to kick it with you because if he love you, he love you, but you ain't that wifey material.

00:24:28.532 --> 00:24:28.993
Why?

00:24:28.993 --> 00:24:33.798
Because when you going out like that, guess what you going out for.

00:24:33.798 --> 00:24:36.340
I'm going to see if I can find something else.

00:24:42.505 --> 00:24:55.952
You may say that that ain't what you doing, but if you keep on going to the same places where you're going to see the same people and you're going to run into the same dudes, or you're going to run into the same chicks or this and that, or you're going and having the same conversations here and there, or you're seeing some more eye candy or whatnot.

00:24:55.952 --> 00:24:58.377
On both sides, guess what.

00:24:58.377 --> 00:25:01.553
You're going to fall into the temptation sooner or later.

00:25:01.553 --> 00:25:02.655
So now guess what.

00:25:02.655 --> 00:25:26.037
You're still going to have that man at home and then you're going to have that one on the side and then somebody going to, then the one on the side going to start putting pressure, especially me, with a chick on the side, that woman going to start putting pressure on you, because every woman, especially a fine, a fine side piece, do not feel as though she should be a side piece.

00:25:26.037 --> 00:25:27.358
She should be the main.

00:25:27.358 --> 00:25:31.653
She should be a main course and you should be the only one that she want.

00:25:31.653 --> 00:25:32.592
And guess what?

00:25:32.592 --> 00:25:34.667
It's going to stop putting pressure on your household.

00:25:35.431 --> 00:25:39.833
And so I'm just going to end it like this, because a young man asked me today.

00:25:39.833 --> 00:25:43.191
He said see, he said so, man, you ain't into all that, no more.

00:25:43.191 --> 00:25:47.836
I said, man, when I was younger I was into all type of thing.

00:25:47.836 --> 00:25:50.372
I said but this is what I told him, and I want y'all to grow on this one.

00:25:51.526 --> 00:25:55.036
I said if you want peace, my household is peaceful.

00:25:55.036 --> 00:25:59.836
If you want peace, you got to bring peace with you.

00:25:59.836 --> 00:26:04.757
You got to bring peace to your household in order for your wife to be peaceful.

00:26:04.757 --> 00:26:06.992
You got to bring peace to your household in order for your wife to be peaceful.

00:26:06.992 --> 00:26:09.765
You got to bring peace to your household if you want your husband to be peaceful.

00:26:09.765 --> 00:26:14.654
You cannot bring mess and expect a peaceful situation.

00:26:14.654 --> 00:26:18.433
They're not going to happen, and so I bring peace into my household.

00:26:18.433 --> 00:26:21.575
And so when I mean peace, I ain't bringing no foolishness in here.

00:26:21.575 --> 00:26:25.115
I ain't bringing no other women into my household.

00:26:25.115 --> 00:26:37.811
I'm not allowing nobody to put no pressure on me like that, because it wouldn't be the person that's on the outside putting pressure on me like that It'd be me that didn't put myself in a situation, and so I'm putting pressure on myself.

00:26:37.811 --> 00:26:48.384
And so therefore and we'll get into that later on down the line on the CJ Money Ways show on a Wednesday night, we'll get into that later on down the line on the CJ Money Waste show on a Wednesday night.

00:26:54.244 --> 00:27:01.365
So, therefore, while we sit up there complaining about what the other person doing or what this person not doing, or what this person not doing, you have to sit back, like Michael Jackson said, and look at the man in the mirror and you have to take some accountability for what you're doing.

00:27:01.365 --> 00:27:09.246
You have to sit back and think about this, for what you're doing.

00:27:09.246 --> 00:27:12.832
You have to sit back and think about this what have I done to cause situation in this relationship?

00:27:12.832 --> 00:27:14.054
What part have I played?

00:27:14.054 --> 00:27:16.818
Because we all play a part.

00:27:17.118 --> 00:27:23.278
And here's the thing it's always two sides to a story it's your side, they side, and then it's the truth.

00:27:23.278 --> 00:27:27.451
And so if I'm only hearing your side, I'm not hearing their side.

00:27:27.451 --> 00:27:37.444
But if I'm listening to you and you telling me Some cockamamie stuff, and I'm talking to my brothers and you telling me some stuff, then I ain't feeling that, bro, cause I ain't finna agree with everybody.

00:27:37.444 --> 00:27:39.310
I ain't finna agree with everything.

00:27:39.310 --> 00:27:42.826
Somebody tell me I know a lot when I hear one, you wanna know why?

00:27:42.826 --> 00:27:44.409
Because I told plenty of them.

00:27:44.409 --> 00:27:46.432
Hey, this your boy, cj Moneyway.

00:27:46.432 --> 00:27:48.556
I'm out to the next time, peace.

00:27:49.037 --> 00:27:56.826
All too often, most people are looking in the right and wrong directions at the same time, but most of the time we are looking in the wrong direction.

00:27:56.826 --> 00:28:05.396
We see what we want to see and we hear what we want to hear, and most of the time we fail to understand the end result of both directions in which we are looking.

00:28:05.396 --> 00:28:11.680
The things we see, hear and speak are leading us to everlasting life, but where do you plan to spend eternity?

00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:13.964
Both eyes open and both eyes shut?

In Search of Authentic Bonds Beyond the Glitter of Wealth

From Dimmed Sight to Insight The Awakening of a Storyteller