"Let Yourself Off the Hook: Liam Naden's European Journey to Self-Freedom

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what you would call being the best that we could be.

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What's the difference?

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And again, I found there's something very different.

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There's something very unique about what we need to do to become a happy, successful in every area of our life, successful person.

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And that's the focus ofJ Moneyway Show, and I'm with your host, cj Moneyway, let's get it.

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What's up, my good people?

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Welcome to the CJ Money Way show.

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Today I have teacher, writer, researcher, podcaster and author of the book.

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You have to Let Yourself Off the Hook, liam Nadum.

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Did I pronounce that right man?

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You sure did.

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Nadum, okay, nadum, yeah.

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So welcome to the show everybody.

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Liam, how you doing today, man?

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I'm great thanks.

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I'm looking forward to talking to you.

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Thanks for the opportunity to be on your show.

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Oh, man, thank you for you know reaching out and coming on.

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Man, I really appreciate it.

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So you're from New Zealand, right?

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I am indeed Okay.

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So what's the Now?

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Of course, I've never been that far, so what's the culture like there, man?

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Oh, it's wonderful.

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It's like, everywhere in the world, great people getting on with their lives, being loving, friendly, happy, positive, optimistic and really interested in helping others as well as themselves.

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Okay, okay, yeah everywhere I travel in the world, I meet people the same.

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Oh, okay, so I know, like in those parts of Europe and everything soccer that's the big thing over there.

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Okay, so I know, like in those parts of Europe and everything soccer that's the big thing over there.

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Huh, Is that big in New Zealand?

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Yeah, I don't really follow those sports so I don't know.

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Okay, is it anything, before we get started, that you would like to say Any projects that you have going on that we can look forward to?

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Yeah, I've got have going on that we can look forward to.

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Yeah, I've got lots going on, and I'm sure we'll talk about it maybe as we go along, because it all really relates to this burning question that I've been trying to find the answer to for most of my life, which is how do we really get the results we do in our life?

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Why do things really happen to us?

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And, for example, we might say, say, how is it that you and I are talking?

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and we might think we've planned it, but actually there's something else going on yeah, that's what I've.

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That's the basis of really and hopefully I can share some of this with your audience to start to think what you think is your life is not what's really going on.

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There's something else going on, but it's something far more exciting than you realize.

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It's something you have control over and it's something that you can use really to make your life as good as you want it to be.

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Okay, that sounds very interesting.

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So, liam, tell us what is the Growing In Love podcast?

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You know, as you being a podcast host and having your own podcast.

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What is that podcast all about, man?

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When I started off in my coaching work, I started off in the area of marriage and relationships and I found that it was an area I really wanted to study and figure out.

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Why is it that some people have fantastic relationships, marriages, and they could have been together for 30 years and it was like they'd only just met.

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You know, they were best friends, they did everything together, they were absolutely rock solid in their relationship and it seemed to get better with time.

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But they're only the tiny small percentage and yet most people in a marriage or relationship seem to me, including myself were struggling with problems and, you know, ending up in divorce.

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I mean, more than half of marriages end up in divorce.

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So I thought what's the difference between people who make it work and what is, unfortunately, the vast majority of people who seem to struggle with relationships and find it difficult?

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And that really led me, on a discovery of research, to see that these people, the small percentage of people, were doing something very different to what most people were doing in their relationship.

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So I developed this into helping people with their marriages and what I started to notice was it was really helping people turn their marriage around, even sometimes from the brink of divorce.

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You know a couple one or the other said I want a divorce, I'm sick of it.

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You know it's not working, and the other person was able to use some of the ideas that I had to turn the situation around.

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So I started to help people with their relationships and that really developed into some coaching programs, which I still have and I still do with people, and also a podcast called Growing in Love for Life.

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That was the first of three podcasts I actually host and that's all about marriage and relationships and you know, figuring out or learning what the small percentage of successful people do in a marriage and relationship that everyone else isn't doing, so that when you do it you get the same results and it doesn't matter where you are in your situation at the moment.

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Once you start doing the right things and stop doing the wrong things, you get a completely different result.

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And that led me on to my next podcast, or the one on my work expanded into that, to say well, what is it about successful people?

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Not just success in relationships, but success in life, because every now and then you meet somebody who really is happy, who really is successful, not just on the outside, not just with lots of money, and they're miserable, but they're really happy.

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They might not have a lot of money, but they're truly happy and fulfilled and excited about life and positive and optimistic, and they're the people you really feel good being around.

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That's the definition.

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They're what you'd call successful people.

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They're enjoying life to the full.

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I thought what's the difference between those people and the vast majority of us who are stressed, unhappy, struggling, who are not something very different?

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There's something very unique about what we need to do to become a happy, successful in every area of our life, successful person, and that's the focus of all my work these days.

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That's interesting, man.

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You know that you can go that far and that deep into the thought.

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You know as far as what makes a person successful.

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You know like what, not only from the outside.

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You know having money, being able to go buy whatever you want to go buy, but from the inside.

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You know being happy from the inside, because a lot of times we're not happy within, we can be miserable even with money.

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So I understand what you're saying on that level.

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As far as being a podcaster and I want to ask people that come on the show that also host their own podcast, because I haven't been on anyone else's show as a guest.

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So before I ever do, I just want to pick you guys' brains a little bit what is the difference between hosting the show and asking questions and being a guest on the show?

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Well, in some ways, there's not a big difference, because I think the most important thing that I've learned is to be successful.

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If this is what you're sort of asking to be successful either as a host or as a guest you've really got to think about what can I offer to whoever I'm talking to that's really going to make a difference in their life and that they're going to say you know, I haven't heard this before.

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This is something really interesting.

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I haven't heard this before.

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This is something really interesting.

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This isn't just the same run-of-the-mill stuff that the other 50 million podcasts.

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But this sounds interesting.

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This could really help me with my life.

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I want to find out more about what this person is saying, and I think too often we forget or we focus on the medium, so we say, right, I've got to have a podcast, or I've got to be a guest on a podcast, or I've got to have a blog, or I've got to have a website, or I've got to have whatever it is, without thinking the most important thing is to develop your unique inner voice, because all of us have a unique and valuable role to play in the lives of everyone else.

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We've all had unique experiences.

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We have our own unique wisdom and those things we can share with other people.

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We don't need to copy someone else and say, oh, that person's really successful, I'll just do what they do.

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We've got it within us to be unique, and when you let your uniqueness come out, that's what is very powerful.

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So that's what I think we should focus on, rather than saying, well, how many million dollars worth of ads do I need to spend?

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It doesn't work that way.

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People have become immune to noise, so to break through the noise, you have to say something that catches their attention.

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Okay, it's different and unique.

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Okay, just be your authentic self.

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Like you say, we all have something to give.

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You know, just like with this platform, that I'm trying to build.

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My platform is, you know, trying to get people's stories out.

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You know I did it for the community, for a lot of people that actually, you know, didn't have a voice and wouldn't be on a bigger podcast, and so that's what you know.

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Didn't have a voice and wouldn't be on a bigger podcast, and so that's what you know I tried to build, and so I'm excited to have someone like you, you know, with vast experiences and things of that nature.

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You know a man with a lot of wisdom, because if you can teach a podcast on how to stay married, that's some good stuff right there.

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So tell me, man, you know, know I was reading your biography and everything.

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So tell me, what is the experience like just sailing through europe?

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Because I see where you, uh, sailed through, like 15 countries or something through europe.

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Just tell me, man, what's the experience like sailing through europe, man, man on a yacht?

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Well, it's interesting.

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It's like any experience there's two sides to it.

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As you said, I spent eight years sailing around 15 countries in Europe on my own yacht.

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I finished that last year and since I've been now traveling in a motorhome I think you call them an RV or I'm traveling through Europe and that, and I'm back in New Zealand at the moment for a short break.

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So I just I have actually been a permanent traveler for about 13 years, my partner and I.

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The thing about travel and people say to me oh, you're so lucky, and you know that must be amazing.

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And it is incredible.

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You know different experiences all of the time, the freedom to go anywhere you want to go.

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You know a yacht is amazing.

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You're so connected with nature.

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You're anchored in a beautiful bay and there's just nature around you and it's peace and quiet.

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But there's another side to it and this is the biggest lesson that I learned from travel, and certainly travel in a yacht and also in a motorhome, and that is you've got to be.

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It helps or you have to develop the skill of coping well with uncertainty.

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And most people can't cope with uncertainty.

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But on a yacht you've got to be prepared to say here, we are anchored in this beautiful bay, but the wind has changed and we need to leave right now.

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Or you can plan a journey to be sailing to a destination and the weather might change and you say you have to make a decision, we're not going to get to that destination, we need to change course to somewhere else.

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And you arrive in places and they're not what you expect them to be.

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So you arrive in a place and you go.

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This is absolutely incredible.

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I didn't think it would be so beautiful.

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We're only going to be here for a day, We'll stay here for a week.

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It happened when we were sailing down the coast of Greece and Turkey was just right next door, the country Carter and I said Turkey didn't really appeal to us as an idea, but we'll just go there for a couple of days just to have a look at what Turkey was like.

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We got there, we stayed for over a year.

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It was the most incredible country.

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The people are wonderful, the food, the scenery.

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So you have to be prepared, when you're on a boat and when you're a constant traveler, to make decisions all of the time and some people find that tiring.

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Most people find that tiring because one of the reasons most people never, unfortunately, take much of a risk and go out and do something different because they want to know that it's going to work out.

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They want to know everything that's going to happen before they make a decision.

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But when you're on a yacht, you can't do that.

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You have to make decisions all the time.

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You have to change your mind and do things differently.

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Sometimes things don't turn out very well.

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You might, on the opposite side, say we're going to go here for a month and you only go there for a day because you didn't like the place.

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But that's a wonderful strength to develop, a wonderful thing that I'm grateful to have developed, which is to cope with and deal with uncertainty and make your decisions one at a time, not try and plan things out a year in advance, but just take it a step at a time and everything works out perfectly that way man I I think that's cool, man.

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You know, like you say, uh, you have to be prepared because, like one of my last guests, we were just talking about just being out on the ocean and out there in the sea and you know there's things that can happen, or you know what I'm saying, things that you know you have to think about.

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Like you say, you have to change course because the weather might get bad or whatever.

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So just the uncertainty of when you're out there, like that, I think that's a cool experience.

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One day I hope I can get a yacht and just sail around man.

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So tell us about your latest book man Marriage Uncounseling.

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Well, this has really come from my experience of what we've been talking about, which is that most people, unfortunately, are doing the wrong things with their marriage and with their relationship.

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And many people who have come to me for help and done my coaching programs or even done private coaching with me, most of them have tried some sort of counselling.

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Nearly all of them have said to me, regrettably, that it didn't really help.

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In fact, often it made things worse.

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And I'm not trying to criticise, criticize counseling or bag it per se, but what I noticed was in my experience of counseling as well, and what people were explaining to me was I was thinking this doesn't really fit in with my understanding of what really works to heal a relationship.

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So that's why I called it uncounseling, because in many ways it's the opposite of what counseling does.

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Because when you think about it, if you go to a counselor, if you're a couple or any sort of counseling, but particularly marriage counseling, if you go to a counselor to heal your marriage, what tends to happen is you go into the and you work on the problems.

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So you try and identify what are the problems in our relationship, what's going wrong and how can we fix those problems.

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But what I've noticed is and other people far more smarter than I have have described this as well and in life, what you focus on, you tend to get more of so if you focus on problems, you tend to get more of so if you focus on problems, you tend to get more problems.

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And it's very difficult, if not impossible, to try and solve a problem directly.

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What you need to focus on is the solution.

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So that's what uncounseling that's what my book is all about is changing your focus.

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Instead of being on the problems, focus on the solutions, focus on where you want to go and changing what you're thinking and doing.

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It's in harmony with that, not just focusing on the problems, because the other thing with problems is, as most people find, if you focus on problems, you can never get rid of them.

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Even if you think you solve a problem seem to keep coming along, and this is actually to do with how the brain functions.

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But that's what my book was all about.

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That's what uncounseling that's why I've called it uncounseling is to focus on the solutions.

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Focus on what you want and you find there's a.

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There's actually an easier path to getting there.

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Oh, okay, yeah, that sounds interesting, man.

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You know, like you're saying, and that's different because you know like a lot of people, like you say, go to counseling and we're those problems have mounted up to different type of problems and a lot of times you know, as you as a counselor and I know you can tell this and describe to this to me better than than I can is that when you don't handle an issue right right there, then it mounts up to where the couple or the marriage you know people that's married they don't talk about it, and so it mounts up until you know you get angry and sometimes that person don't even know what's really wrong.

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You know what I'm saying Because you're thinking about something that you think that somebody should have did or that your spouse should have did, but they had no clue that.

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You know what I'm saying.

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So, basically, sometimes it could be misunderstanding or things that we can talk about that we don't.

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That mounts into problems long time.

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Well, here's the thing, and I say this to people, and anyone listening or watching might like to think about or answer this question for themselves but if you're in a marriage or relationship, was there ever a time when you didn't have problems?

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when things were going really well, when things were easy and fun and stress-free and you absolutely loved being in that relationship.

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Was there ever a time and for most people there isn't a time and when was that?

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That's when you first got together.

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That was when the relationship was new and fresh and you weren't focusing on problems.

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You weren't trying to fix things.

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You weren't worried about the things that were going wrong or what the other person was doing.

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You were just there having a good time.

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And the thing to realize is what you were doing and thinking then is very different to what you do and think when you've got problems.

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So all you need to do and this is the basis of much of my coaching and some of the marriage and counseling book what you need to do is figure out what was I doing and thinking when I didn't have problems and stress in my life.

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I need to realize I'm not doing those things anymore.

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I'm doing all these other things that are making things worse.

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I need to go back to the thinking and doing that I did when things were going well at the beginning of our relationship, and it's not that difficult to do.

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It's not just about, oh, things were new and fresh and exciting, then Things can be new and fresh and exciting.

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Now I've met people who've been in a marriage for 30 years and it's like, as I mentioned earlier, it's still new and fresh and exciting.

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There's a way to make your marriage new, fresh and exciting, no matter how long you've been together, but you need to do those right things.

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You need to do and think and that's a lot to do with your thinking as well what you were doing when things were going well, not trying to fix things when they're not going well.

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If that makes sense.

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Yeah, that makes sense.

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Like you say, you know, when you first start off, you know you're just happy, you just want to be around each other and just go out and do things and whatnot.

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So it makes sense.

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You say, get back to that thought process before all the other things you know got added on to it.

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So yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

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So you have a course, a master class Let Yourself Off the Hook.

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Can you explain that to us, man?

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Like you know, what do you mean by when you say let yourself off the hook, and what do this class entails?

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Well, what most people are trying to do in life is they're trying to solve problems, just like we've been talking about.

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They've been trying to solve problems.

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They've tried to reach goals, they've tried to figure out how they can be happy.

00:20:23.798 --> 00:20:27.200
They've tried to work towards things to try to be happy.

00:20:27.200 --> 00:20:36.874
But most people are struggling and what they're doing the reason they're struggling is that they're using the wrong part of their brain Without knowing it.

00:20:36.874 --> 00:20:38.510
They don't understand Most of us.

00:20:38.510 --> 00:20:42.020
We've never been taught how this machine works, our brain works.

00:20:42.020 --> 00:20:45.859
So you will never figure out all of those things.

00:20:45.950 --> 00:20:53.720
You'll never live a life to your full potential when you're in the state of struggle and stress and trying to push and work things out.

00:20:53.720 --> 00:20:57.414
So what you have to do is you have to let yourself off the hook.

00:20:57.414 --> 00:21:08.281
And what letting yourself off the hook means is giving up that struggle, giving up what you think is your control and allowing what is within all of us.

00:21:08.281 --> 00:21:10.424
And this isn't woo-woo, this is biological.

00:21:10.424 --> 00:21:16.477
We have this energy, this creative energy, that flows not only through us but through every living thing.

00:21:16.477 --> 00:21:19.598
This is a biological law, if you like.

00:21:19.598 --> 00:21:43.714
So we need to start to allow that to flow through, because when we actually do that, when we let ourselves off the hook, stop putting the pressure on ourselves what we actually do is we activate a different part of our brain, a different part of our biology, and that part literally takes control and it leads and guides us down the easiest and fastest path to actually getting everything we want.

00:21:44.096 --> 00:21:50.661
And this is the part that's responsible when you suddenly meet somebody out of the blue and it turns out to be really good.

00:21:50.661 --> 00:21:54.357
I mean, when you meet the person who becomes your husband or your wife.

00:21:54.357 --> 00:21:56.343
You didn't plan it in advance.

00:21:56.343 --> 00:22:03.080
They just suddenly, out of the blue, they showed up and before you knew it you were in love and you know it changed your life.

00:22:03.080 --> 00:22:10.284
So this is we might call this luck or coincidence, but all of my research has found that it's not luck or coincidence.

00:22:10.284 --> 00:22:16.603
This is a very definite biological principle as to how we are designed to operate.

00:22:16.603 --> 00:22:35.270
But you can only activate that part of your brain, you can only see it work in your life when you let yourself off the hook, when you stop trying to be in control through struggle and force and trying to make things happen, because that literally, on a biological level, that blocks this other part of your brain.

00:22:35.531 --> 00:22:49.538
it prevents it from operating so when you talk about part of your brain, so I guess that when you say that this is part of your webinar that you teach, uh, unlock your brain's hidden power yeah, well, I have a webinar and a whole coaching.

00:22:49.810 --> 00:22:56.201
I mentioned my coaching program and people can find it on my website, liamnaydencom.

00:22:56.201 --> 00:23:05.559
But what it essentially is to help people understand is that your brain is a machine and it has four fundamental biological parts.

00:23:05.559 --> 00:23:09.432
They're all in different places in your brain and they all have a different function.

00:23:09.432 --> 00:23:29.599
So when you understand that it is a machine and that these four parts are supposed to work a certain way, then all you need to do is operate the machine the right way, because, if you think about it, we don't realize that the brain is a survival machine, and it's not just to survive at the basest level.

00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:43.819
Our brain is trying to make sure that we have the greatest chance for survival, that we live for as long as we possibly can, and the only way we can do that is by being our best, by being our happiest, by being our most fulfilled and not stressed.

00:23:43.819 --> 00:23:46.298
That's what's going to prolong our life.

00:23:46.298 --> 00:23:52.637
And so the brain is a machine designed to ensure that you are your best, so you have the greatest chance for survival.

00:23:52.637 --> 00:23:54.856
But it's like any other machine.

00:23:54.856 --> 00:23:56.798
It's like, for instance, a motor car.

00:23:57.349 --> 00:24:04.881
Now, a motor car is designed to get you from where you are to where you want to go, and you know it's going to do that if you drive it the right way.

00:24:04.881 --> 00:24:18.251
But if you get in it and you don't know what to do and you put the wrong fuel in and you press the wrong buttons and you've got your foot on the accelerator and the brake at the same time and you don't know what to do, you're not going to get anywhere and it's going to be a struggle.

00:24:18.251 --> 00:24:22.651
You're going to think this isn't working and you're also going to end up with problems.

00:24:22.651 --> 00:24:26.919
You're going to end up things going wrong and it turns out biologically.

00:24:26.919 --> 00:24:42.191
This is how we're designed when problems show up in our life and this is a stretch for most people to take on when I say it but when you start to research how the brain works, you realize it's true, problems are a sign that we're not using this machine the right way.

00:24:42.951 --> 00:24:52.436
So on my website I have a model, a description, an explanation of these four parts of the brain and how they work and how they're designed to be used.

00:24:52.436 --> 00:25:04.117
And the amazing thing is, when you start to use your brain differently, you do get different results, and you get them without the struggle and the force and the stress, things show up in your life.

00:25:04.117 --> 00:25:20.044
You come up with good ideas, new opportunities show up and you suddenly start to see a lot more success, inner and outer, happening in your life, and it's all because, not through struggling, but through understanding how to use your brain differently.

00:25:20.044 --> 00:25:22.135
That's what I was down to.

00:25:23.130 --> 00:25:24.431
That's interesting, man.

00:25:24.431 --> 00:25:39.901
I'm going to have to go on your website and check that out because you know, like you say, you can use these four parts of your brain either to, you know, move on in life, or we can let it stress us out, which you know could be detrimental.

00:25:39.901 --> 00:26:00.761
You know, because we know that stress can cause health issues and this and that, and so I think that's interesting, that you've come up with a model that you know to help people think differently and think, you know, freely and, you know, live a abundant life, you know, and as successful and as positive as you can.

00:26:00.761 --> 00:26:02.490
I think that's unique, man.

00:26:02.490 --> 00:26:03.332
That's real cool.

00:26:03.332 --> 00:26:05.756
I got a couple more questions for you.

00:26:05.756 --> 00:26:15.240
So I've been married for 15 years, right, and I'm not saying that everything's been smooth sailing, but it's been peaceful for the most part.

00:26:15.240 --> 00:26:24.309
So I guess my question to you is because I've seen this somewhere is say how can you achieve a problem-free marriage?

00:26:24.730 --> 00:26:25.894
Well, the first thing.

00:26:25.894 --> 00:26:39.778
It's quite a deep subject and I cover it in Marriage Uncounseling, but just think about this and it's a deep answer, if you like, and we'll probably need a book to explain it.

00:26:40.529 --> 00:26:44.781
Really think about what is the primary cause of every problem in a marriage.

00:26:44.781 --> 00:26:47.036
You know the answer to that.

00:26:47.036 --> 00:26:53.734
The underlying cause of every problem in your life, in your relationship, is fear.

00:26:53.734 --> 00:26:57.541
Deep down, you are afraid of something.

00:26:57.541 --> 00:27:03.401
So, for instance, when you think back to when you first got together, you weren't afraid of anything.

00:27:03.401 --> 00:27:06.115
You weren't afraid of the relationship ending.

00:27:06.115 --> 00:27:10.653
You weren't afraid of saying the wrong thing, you weren't afraid of not being happy.

00:27:10.653 --> 00:27:15.542
You weren't afraid of it not working as a relationship.

00:27:15.542 --> 00:27:17.334
You were just enjoying being there.

00:27:17.835 --> 00:27:20.461
But what happens over time is we develop these fears.

00:27:20.461 --> 00:27:27.175
So we've been married for 15 years and we think, oh, you know, something's going wrong or they're not listening to me.

00:27:27.175 --> 00:27:33.877
So we stop expressing ourselves fully because we're afraid we might upset our spouse.

00:27:33.877 --> 00:27:36.912
We're afraid we might create problems in the relationship.

00:27:36.912 --> 00:27:38.776
We're afraid they might misunderstand me.

00:27:38.776 --> 00:27:42.513
We're afraid that we're not going to be able to do the things that we want to do.

00:27:42.513 --> 00:27:46.990
We're afraid that it's not going to work out as well as it could.

00:27:46.990 --> 00:28:00.538
There are a lot of these fears that we have and when those fears start to come in, they start to restrict us from being ourself and just being the happy, fun, easygoing, nothing's a problem sort of person.

00:28:00.538 --> 00:28:04.400
So when that starts to happen, what are we doing?

00:28:04.400 --> 00:28:09.199
We're starting to focus on what's not right with our relationship and we're worried about things.

00:28:09.199 --> 00:28:14.298
Oh, we've got a problem here and we have this misunderstanding and I'm angry because they didn't hear what I said.

00:28:14.298 --> 00:28:22.397
So we're afraid that we're not being listened to, that we're not going to have the intimacy and the openness in our relationship that we really want.

00:28:23.230 --> 00:28:33.757
So what I find with couples who have great relationships with no problems and, yes, there are some people who have no problems in their relationship is they have no fear.

00:28:33.757 --> 00:28:41.096
So if something happens and you don't like it, instead of blaming the other person, you say why am I getting upset by it?

00:28:41.096 --> 00:28:44.176
It's no big deal, I'm not afraid of anything.

00:28:44.176 --> 00:28:48.213
Okay, so maybe we're not getting on Well, maybe we should end our relationship.

00:28:48.213 --> 00:28:49.675
Maybe it's no longer right for us.

00:28:49.855 --> 00:28:55.270
If we can't, if things don't work out or if they say something, why should I let it upset me?

00:28:55.270 --> 00:29:01.791
I'm not afraid of the consequences of anything, and there's not being stupid or naive or simplistic.

00:29:01.791 --> 00:29:10.450
It's just having the confidence to, and getting rid of any fears you have about your life that, whatever happens in your life, things are going your life, that whatever happens in your life, things are going to work out well.

00:29:10.450 --> 00:29:14.461
Whatever happens in your relationship, things are going to work out perfectly.

00:29:14.461 --> 00:29:19.561
And, as I say, when you're like that, you can just be fun and easy and free.

00:29:19.561 --> 00:29:23.940
Nothing's a big deal and it's all good, like you were at the beginning.

00:29:24.510 --> 00:29:26.595
Yeah, that's interesting.

00:29:26.595 --> 00:29:30.163
You know, like you say, stress-free again.

00:29:30.163 --> 00:29:40.082
And you know, even if I come through this roadblock or that roadblock, whether individually or as a couple, what is it to fear?

00:29:40.082 --> 00:29:42.198
You know, we going to get past this too.

00:29:42.198 --> 00:29:47.280
You know, as the old saying used to go, it says that this too shall pass.

00:29:47.280 --> 00:29:48.282
You know what I'm saying.

00:29:48.282 --> 00:29:55.842
So, you know, you just keep on moving, you move forward and you just make the best out of every situation that you're in.

00:29:55.842 --> 00:30:02.843
Man, I'm really getting it, man, this is some very vital information that you're giving out, leo.

00:30:02.843 --> 00:30:06.095
So, man, I just got one more question for you, man.

00:30:06.095 --> 00:30:12.244
So, in your own word, how did you discover true success?

00:30:13.351 --> 00:30:20.247
What actually happened to me was I'd been looking for true success all my life.

00:30:20.247 --> 00:30:27.570
From the youngest age I can remember I always wanted to know how can I be more successful, how can I have a great life?

00:30:27.570 --> 00:30:37.413
I didn't want to settle for just an average life, so I did lots of things and I always was working hard to be the best that I could be at anything that I was doing.

00:30:37.413 --> 00:30:44.738
And I was constantly even as a child maybe not quite so consciously then, but I was always looking throughout my life what do I need to learn?

00:30:44.738 --> 00:30:45.439
What do I need to do?

00:30:45.439 --> 00:30:45.901
How can I achieve more?

00:30:45.901 --> 00:30:46.521
How can I be more?

00:30:46.521 --> 00:30:47.865
How can I achieve more?

00:30:47.865 --> 00:30:49.209
How can I be more?

00:30:49.209 --> 00:30:50.632
How can I reach higher goals?

00:30:50.632 --> 00:30:53.258
And I became very outwardly successful.

00:30:53.258 --> 00:30:54.621
I became a millionaire.

00:30:54.621 --> 00:30:57.617
I had my own businesses, things were going really well.

00:30:57.617 --> 00:31:00.769
I was traveling, I had a yacht, I had all these things.

00:31:00.769 --> 00:31:07.175
But I wasn't really happy on the inside and I kept thinking I haven't found the answer yet to being successful.

00:31:07.175 --> 00:31:07.700
I need to learn more.

00:31:07.700 --> 00:31:08.304
I need to being successful.

00:31:08.304 --> 00:31:08.768
I need to learn more.

00:31:08.768 --> 00:31:14.442
I need to do another course, I need to go on another seminar, and I went to seminars all over the world.

00:31:14.442 --> 00:31:22.133
I read lots of books on everything you could think of religion, spirituality, self-help, personal development, goal setting.

00:31:22.133 --> 00:31:26.021
I learned any technique I could, but I still wasn't really happy.

00:31:26.363 --> 00:31:30.676
And then something happened when I was in my mid-40s that should never have happened to me.

00:31:30.676 --> 00:31:40.652
Being an expert on what success is and how to achieve success, I never felt I quite got there, but I knew everything about how to get there and I was on the path.

00:31:40.652 --> 00:31:48.173
But what happened was I went from being a multimillionaire to literally losing everything overnight and I became homeless.

00:31:48.173 --> 00:32:04.932
I had to move in with my elderly mother and sleep on the sofa in the living room in her small apartment and I thought, everything I've learned about what success is and how you achieve success I have to throw that all away because this wasn't on my goals list.

00:32:04.932 --> 00:32:06.065
This wasn't in my plan.

00:32:06.065 --> 00:32:07.665
I know how to be successful.

00:32:07.665 --> 00:32:10.469
I know how not to be homeless and penniless.

00:32:10.469 --> 00:32:12.266
So why has this happened to me?

00:32:13.140 --> 00:32:26.000
And when I realized that everything I learned was not actually helping me be more successful, and I realized that nearly everybody I knew who was also trying these approaches to be successful, they weren't really successful either.

00:32:26.020 --> 00:32:42.921
They were stressed, they had problems I thought I need to try a different approach, and I tried a different approach and that's when everything changed in my life and I went from being an unhappy, stressed millionaire to a happy millionaire, but with all the freedom doing things.

00:32:42.921 --> 00:32:48.209
I truly loved waking up in the morning and realizing what true success was.

00:32:48.209 --> 00:33:05.932
And true success is nothing more than feeling good, than being happy, because if you ask any scientist, biologist, spiritual person, throughout the teachings of all of science and all of spirituality, they tell us what true success is.

00:33:05.932 --> 00:33:14.628
The definition of true success is being the best that you can be, being happy, being fulfilled, and I realized that that's the answer.

00:33:14.628 --> 00:33:27.585
When you focus on that and when you use this machine, which is designed to bring you that success, it's going to happen, but it doesn't happen, as I said earlier, through struggle and force, and that's not using your brain the right way.

00:33:27.585 --> 00:33:33.189
That's not natural, that's not biologically the way we're designed to operate oh man.

00:33:33.209 --> 00:33:35.013
so that's cool, man.

00:33:35.013 --> 00:33:54.628
I thought that was interesting, where you know just the humility that that you speak with as far as being open about how you know you went from this to being penniless and staying with your mother, but you built yourself back up, man, and that's what true success stories are all about, man.

00:33:54.628 --> 00:33:58.711
I love it and I'm glad you came on today, man, and shared that with us.

00:33:58.711 --> 00:34:07.250
I think a lot of people can, you know, take something from that, because you know a lot of times we get down or we have something and then we lose it.

00:34:07.250 --> 00:34:14.152
You know we become down on ourselves and feel like that there's no way out of that or that we can't get back up from that.

00:34:14.152 --> 00:34:14.494
You know.

00:34:14.494 --> 00:34:20.112
But you know you're a living example that, hey, just be happy, be free.

00:34:21.219 --> 00:34:22.262
It says in the Bible.

00:34:22.262 --> 00:34:23.103
I mean the Bible.

00:34:23.103 --> 00:34:44.090
A lot of people profess to believe in the Bible and believe in God and all of that, but the Bible is an instruction manual on how to use your brain, and the Bible tells us this constantly to not be afraid, don't worry, give no thought, for tomorrow, you will be provided with what you need.

00:34:44.090 --> 00:34:47.148
Do not worry about what you shall eat, drink or wear.

00:34:47.148 --> 00:34:48.867
This will be provided for you.

00:34:48.867 --> 00:34:53.686
So if we really knew that, why are we all stressed and worried and trying to force things to happen?

00:34:53.686 --> 00:34:56.668
Because we don't realize that that is true.

00:34:56.668 --> 00:34:58.146
We will be provided for.

00:34:58.146 --> 00:35:02.023
All of nature is provided for, but the way to do that.

00:35:02.023 --> 00:35:07.927
We can only do that if we're using our machine, our brain and who we are.

00:35:07.927 --> 00:35:14.503
If we're operating in the right way, if we're like the car, if we're using it the wrong way, we're not going to get those results.

00:35:14.503 --> 00:35:18.250
So I want to speak to people who have a spiritual basis.

00:35:18.250 --> 00:35:20.027
Really think about what God is saying.

00:35:20.027 --> 00:35:27.688
God is saying I've created you to be the best that you can be, to be happy, to have an abundant life, like all of the rest of nature does.

00:35:27.688 --> 00:35:32.851
I've given you a machine that will guarantee that that will happen.

00:35:32.851 --> 00:35:42.592
It's called your brain, and you just need to use it the right way, like I've taught you, which means not to worry, not to get stressed, not to be afraid and just allow it to happen.

00:35:42.592 --> 00:35:44.827
That's what it's all designed to do.

00:35:45.920 --> 00:35:49.268
So we've been told this a million times, but we don't believe it because we don't understand.

00:35:49.268 --> 00:35:52.744
We can think about it as a spiritual idea, but we don't understand.

00:35:52.744 --> 00:35:53.927
This is pure biology.

00:35:53.927 --> 00:36:02.586
The way your brain works to make you the best that you can be and have the best life possible is as much a principle of nature as the law of gravity.

00:36:02.586 --> 00:36:14.672
And you know that if you want to walk out a 10-story building, it doesn't matter how much you pray, how much you believe, how much work you've done into changing your thoughts and how determined you are you're going to fall to the ground.

00:36:14.672 --> 00:36:18.208
You are controlled by nature, and it's the same with your brain.

00:36:18.208 --> 00:36:19.452
You are controlled by your brain.

00:36:19.452 --> 00:36:24.867
When you use it the right way, your life is going to unfold for the best, which is what it's supposed to do.

00:36:24.867 --> 00:36:28.512
If you use it the wrong way, you're going to end up with problems and stress.

00:36:28.512 --> 00:36:29.773
It's as simple as that.

00:36:29.773 --> 00:36:30.675
It's pure biology.

00:36:31.239 --> 00:36:36.393
Yeah, I mean, and I like the way that you added the spiritual element to that.

00:36:36.393 --> 00:36:43.483
You know, as far as, like you say he say the words, say that even the fowls are the air you know God feeds them.

00:36:43.483 --> 00:36:44.965
Say that even the fowls of the air, you know God feeds them.

00:36:44.965 --> 00:37:05.141
And so what makes you think that God wouldn't feed or provide for you you know what he say is if, like a father, you know if he would give his son something you know what I'm saying to eat or wouldn't withhold from him, why would you think that God would withhold from you, you know?

00:37:05.141 --> 00:37:10.188
So, yeah, I love the spiritual elements, I love talking about the word of God.

00:37:10.188 --> 00:37:12.005
Man, that's one of my things.

00:37:12.420 --> 00:37:16.331
God is sitting up there going look, I've given you the machine.

00:37:16.331 --> 00:37:18.648
I've given you the instruction manual.

00:37:18.648 --> 00:37:19.744
I've told you what to do.

00:37:19.744 --> 00:37:22.126
Don't worry, It'll be provided for you.

00:37:22.126 --> 00:37:24.987
I'm frustrated because you're not doing it.

00:37:27.181 --> 00:37:35.389
I can't stop you from having problems because you're not doing what I'm telling you to do Exactly and the reason we won't do it is we don't understand and it's explained in the Bible how the biology works.

00:37:35.389 --> 00:37:49.746
But what I've done is I've taken the scientific and the spiritual and combined it into this easy-to-understand model, so that when you see this model, this explanation of how your brain works it's like getting the instruction manual for a car.

00:37:49.746 --> 00:37:53.851
You suddenly go oh, it all makes sense now, this is how I should use it.

00:37:53.851 --> 00:37:56.773
Right, and you do it, you know.

00:37:56.773 --> 00:37:58.815
So that's why it's so powerful.

00:37:58.815 --> 00:38:06.679
All of this, this isn't just having faith and wanting to believe, because most people who say they have faith.

00:38:09.300 --> 00:38:11.505
They don't really, they're just hoping.

00:38:11.505 --> 00:38:13.007
There's a big difference between hoping and understanding.

00:38:13.027 --> 00:38:14.731
When you understand how it works, you know that's what real faith is.

00:38:14.731 --> 00:38:18.967
Yeah, and, like you say, some of us, we have faith, but we still have doubt.

00:38:18.967 --> 00:38:24.869
And, like the scriptures say, you say Lord, I believe, but help me with my unbelief.

00:38:24.869 --> 00:38:28.469
You know, but you want him to help you with your unbelief.

00:38:28.469 --> 00:38:34.632
But before he said that, he said I believe first, but help me in my unbelief.

00:38:34.632 --> 00:38:36.847
And so a lot of us just have unbelief.

00:38:37.239 --> 00:38:45.800
Hey, so, liam, man, I really appreciate you coming on the show, man, and giving us your wisdom on how the brain works, man, and enlightening us about your journey through the 15 countries in Europe.

00:38:45.800 --> 00:38:51.074
Man, and giving us your wisdom on how the brain works, man, and enlightening us about your journey through the 15 countries in Europe, man, I think that's very exciting.

00:38:51.074 --> 00:38:58.961
I wish you great success with your book, the counseling book, and with your course, man, let yourself off the hook.

00:38:58.961 --> 00:39:09.070
So, like I said, I'm going to go on your website, I'm going to check out how the brain functions myself, and so anything else that you have to say, man, before we leave.

00:39:09.579 --> 00:39:14.903
No, thank you very much for having me on the show and I really encourage people, as you've been saying, to really think.

00:39:14.903 --> 00:39:20.563
Instead of trying to focus on the surface stuff, focus on how it actually works.

00:39:20.563 --> 00:39:41.271
And when you focus, like your motor car, if your car's not running right, you don't go and change the wheels or change the stereo system or change the seats or polish it up you say there's something fundamental about how the machine works that isn't working right, that you get under the hood and you figure out what's going wrong or what you're doing wrong to make it not go properly.

00:39:41.271 --> 00:39:53.744
So this is really, to me, it is the most important thing you could do is start to understand how you work biologically, and when you do that, you're going to find life becomes what it's supposed to be, which is a great adventure.

00:39:53.744 --> 00:39:56.025
You know you could be sailing around Europe.

00:39:56.065 --> 00:39:56.746
Who knows?

00:39:58.420 --> 00:40:02.585
but you're supposed to be having an adventure in life, not struggling with stress and problems.

00:40:02.585 --> 00:40:03.548
That's not natural.

00:40:03.690 --> 00:40:03.931
Yeah.

00:40:07.500 --> 00:40:11.487
So I hope some people are encouraged to go to my website and really learn about this, and I think the lights will go on.

00:40:11.487 --> 00:40:13.947
They usually do for people to say this.

00:40:13.947 --> 00:40:20.188
I didn't realize how simple it was and how logical it all is and how it doesn't need to be all struggle.

00:40:20.188 --> 00:40:22.228
It just needs to be doing a few things differently.

00:40:23.001 --> 00:40:27.409
That's a little tweak here now, hey, so let him stay on for a minute.

00:40:27.409 --> 00:40:29.929
Hey, this your boy, cj Moneyway.

00:40:29.929 --> 00:40:32.141

"Let Yourself Off the Hook: Liam Naden's European Journey to Self-Freedom

From Dimmed Sight to Insight The Awakening of a Storyteller