Traversing the Terrain of Parental Legacy: Love, Loss, and Electric Dreams in Gary, Indiana

MUSIC. Welcome, my good people, welcome to the CJD Moneyweight Show and I'm with y'all the CJD Moneyweight, let's get it.

Hey, what's up my good people? This is your boy, cj Moneyway. Welcome to the Moneyway Show. I got my boy, keith Rice, in the building with me today, hey, so tell me a little bit about yourself, keith.

Uh well, you know, I was born and raised in Gary, the GS. We called it just like you, uh. But now I'm down here in Indianapolis. I've been down here for 13 years now, just trying to you know what I'm saying. I ain't gonna say maintain, maintain and get a comfortable spot. If you don't go, no crash. So I'm trying to elevate you. So that's just what I'm doing, man. That's about it.

Okay, so tell them what you're doing. You know what I'm saying, like what you're doing in your professional life. You know what you're doing all around.

Okay, so I'm a production supervisor. This company called Parkville Lord, so we make a lot of glues, adhesives, resins mainly for electric vehicles, for the batteries to stay cool, to keep them in place, and things like that. But I also have a company that started up this past March this year. Keith Antoine writes LLC, doing business as K RKR LLC, and it's a management consultant company. So say, for instance, you have a company that you're looking to. If you want to save money or get some contract work done or you want to get staffing for your company, they can go through me and I can help them guide in the area that they need.

But also, what a lot of people don't know is that last, let's see, it's 2023. So in 2021, I got my top secret security class from the government. So because I used to do government work for the VA, that was a task to get, this year I end up getting my credentials for Hunman Security. So my title for when I do government work I'm a contract investigator. Oh, yeah, yeah. So I need to dig all the big past that we did.

Oh man, I want you digging up in my past, brother, my past, you know, it is what it is, man.

Well, bro, you know I ain't talking about just that people in general who are trying to get their top secret clearance. I dig up everything, that's the credit who you went to school with, who was your friends with If you were married, divorced kids, neighbors, everything. So that's what I do, that's what I'll be right there.

Oh, okay, man, that's what's up, man. So yeah, because I've never heard anybody say that they had a security clearance. I know y'all got to go through a lot of there's like a process, process you know what I'm saying To get that, because that's government right.

Yeah, so it actually took me 18 months to get my clearance. So I got it in January of 2021. But the process started back in probably late 2019.

Oh man. Well, congratulations bro. Now you get to handle what is the G14? Classified information?

It is something that because my top secret clearance, my tier, is a T5. Wow, it's like the next level is a T6, which is a top secret classified with polygraph. Oh yeah, yeah, that was a test. I don't have that one, but I do have a top secret to a T5, though.

Oh man. Well, you know, man, it's good to have friends like you, man. You know they can get some top secrets, you know, just in case I might want to plot something one day. Then again, let me take that back. I don't want to plot that, man. Hey, I'm just lying. I'm just lying, there ain't nothing I want to plot. I don't want to get my man in trouble. But nah, man. So, like you say, we grew up in the same place. We went to school from elementary all the way to high school. Man, and everybody that I bring gone, I just want them to give up, but saying like, how was it for them? So I'm going to ask you, how was it for you being raised and born and raised in Geary?

You know, man, I get there all the time when people ask me that about living down here and I just tell them you know, geary made me the person who I am or who I'm not. That's just playing myself. You know what I'm saying Because I think from the era that we grew up in and seeing things is totally different now. You know what I mean. So you know I love my city, but when I want to move back, no, that's why I'm glad my mom is moving back down here to Indianapolis Because, you know what I'm saying, she's closer to her children. But you know, you know, but for Geary man, it's like we have so many, so much talent that come out of Geary, so it's like so and you know it was crazy Like when people find out that I'm from Geary, they're like hey, you don't seem like you're from Geary.

You don't act like that. You don't know how people act, just because that's your assumption. So don't assume that I act a certain way because I'm from Geary, because there are some educated, smart people that come out of Geary. You know the people that come out of Geary and that's because what y'all hear in the past is not what is always like that you know I do so when they say that, I get offended because that's my city.

That's what I'm trying to say Dang, I put on for my city. I do like that. Hey, young G's, I put on for my city. Baby, I wear that G on my chest, you know G-I.

Hey, you know it's a long running joke with my wife because if I do something she's like oh, that's the Geary thing.

Oh, you know what, where your wife from.

Here, Indianapolis.

Oh, see my wife from East Chicago and she do the same thing, like that's that Geary stuff. Well, baby girl, you grew up on Guthrie, Come on now. Don't judge me.

I'm from the corner from the uh from uh.

From the corner from uh yeah, by Christopher Palace, the Dufftrap, you know, sat down the street from the Dirt. So yeah, so she always bring, like you say. You know, it's just a mentality and a lot of times it's perception, like what you hear, like you ain't never experienced it yourself, but because you've heard other people talk about it, you know what I'm saying In a negative way which give you you know you feel like you got the right to do it. I mean, I'm thinking back to that's how sometimes people get an assumption about you through somebody else and so when they meet you they really don't want to meet you because they already have a perception about you through somebody else's eyes Instead of knowing who. I see.

I always give a person a chance, like I don't care what nobody else say about this person, whatever that. I don't know what type of stuff you all been through, I don't know what type of vendetta y'all got with each other. So I would give you a chance. I want to get to know you for myself, because I might view you differently than they did, because I'm not coming in with you know what I'm saying. I'm not trying to make enemies and at the same time, I'm not trying to make friends either you know. But if it comes to that you know, then it be. But don't judge me based on what somebody else said.

Exactly, exactly. Because, like you said, you do not really paint a picture and a perception of me negative already. And it's not even the case, because once you get to know me, or I get to know you people like that that person wouldn't even touch the person at all.

Exactly. You know what I'm saying. Now, don't get it mis-conscruded, don't get it twisted. Now the person that told you that or that had something to say about me. I probably was like that with them because they probably was like that with me. You know what I'm saying. So I can't get into that mode like, look, I ain't got a fool with you. You know what I'm saying. I'm like I'm one of them people. If you don't speak to me today, you ain't got to speak to me tomorrow and the day after that. You know we and Drew are lying in the same and so we know we stand with each other, you know, and that's just how it is, and it ain't no hard feeling or whatever. So, but you can say whatever you want to say about me, you know. But, like you say, but when the next person gets to know me for yourself, then they be like wait a minute, you know he said he was like this.

He ain't nothing like that.

But I can't get it. I can't be like that. But I can be. That's the thing. Yeah, I can be. Now that's the GI in me, now that's the GI I can be like that. But you know, I'm not trying to be like that man. You know, we older now we try to be of different things. So I brought you on the day, man, we had a topic that we discussed. I believe the topic was a daddy's love is different from a mother's love, and so I just want to get your perception on what is the difference between the father's love and the mother's love.

Okay. So for me, I say to me, that's a hard question because of the situation that I was in when I was younger, with my father not being around. You know what I mean. So I say, for as far as my mom, my mom was everything she would do anything and everything for all six of us, whatever could be. You know what I'm saying At that time. Now she won't because for one, I'm 15, I'm everything. So she shouldn't have to do that and she's not you know what I mean.

But with my other siblings same thing. But it's something that she will help. But I tell you one thing, bro, my mom, I've seen this woman work and grind so much. When I was younger it was like she's really crazy, like she just grind all day. She worked all night and she did what she was supposed to do as a mother for raising her kids.

Now, you know what I mean.

So I'm the oldest out of six. So, with me being the oldest child, that makes me also the oldest grandchild out of 27, right, so yeah, so I've seen a lot. So I've seen how my grandmother, parent and dear Howard cherished over to my mom about me being the first child of hers and the first grandchild. So may a mother, they would do anything for them. I'm saying that a father won't, because there are some fathers that I know that are great fathers that do what they're supposed to do as a parent. You know what I mean. But for my mom she would do anything for us. I've seen her go without, so me and before my other siblings came for me and my brother Kevin could have whatever we wanted. You know what I mean and it's just one of those things, man, it's a different love Now for my dad, I mean he's talked before and me and him were close with our general at all. You know what I'm saying. He denied me till I was 16 years old and I was keeping 100, because that's what we do. He denied me till I was 16, until it was there One day, september 4th, when I turned 16, and my grandmother told him. She said you don't realize that that's your son. My grandmother hasn't told him that. And he just sat there and he looked, man, and I just seen him. I seen the hurt on him. But at that point I was like I don't feel sorry for you because you know this in the back of your mind, but you listening to your mom, which is my grandmother on his side, so you know what I'm saying. So we didn't click and we went tight. I loved him because I knew who he was. So when he would come around in the hood and you know what I'm saying my partners like hey, man, you're punched down the street. You know what I'm saying. I run down there gonna see him. And he's like hey, baby, how you doing? You know what I'm saying. Hey, you know what I'm saying. I was like go about your business. So at that point I was like, okay, what's going on? But I kept doing it. Then I was setting myself up and then, bro, one day, me and him was talking and he got to talk at breakfast about my mom. I lost it. Like you, just nothing to do on the street. Now You're not going to talk like that, because this the one that was here for me, my aunties and my grandmothers and my uncles was the one that was here for me, not you, so you're not going to disrespect her like that and he looked at me like dang. But he got to realize like yeah, you my dad, but you also gonna respect her as well as you don't respect me. So it was like at the wild.

When I got older. We talked every now and then in my twenties but then, like I told you before, we talked we didn't get close until my oldest son, london, was born, not first time, right and I first I wasn't gonna tell him. But then I was like you know what? That ain't right, because that's his blood and he has the right to know that he has a grandchild. So when I told him that we got close and which is crazy, because my son brought me and him close, so that's how I met him. So now we tight guy, we tight, it's just, but it's just a different love from a mother and a father. But as I got older he started telling me things that made sense to me about him.

Yeah, you know, sometimes coming up, you know, like your dad, I probably myself is in that situation, and there's a lot of untold stories, you know what I'm saying, a lot of untold situations, and of course there's a rock that me and you talking about this because, like you said, you had your mother there and she was everything. Your father was in present, and on the other side, I had my mother and father in the household. Okay, and so, which was a blessing, because, you know, I think out of all of my friends, like Glenn Park, I think only two of us had our mothers and fathers. That was actually present in the house, you know. So, like you say, if you go around, eight out of 10, or you know seven out of 10 families grew up without a father. And having a mother and a father in the house, I'm gonna tell you what's the difference for me is that, like you say, a mother don't do whatever she has to do, you know, say for her child, and a father, see, a mother by nature is a nature that's just by nature, that's biblical, and a father is a disciplinarian by nature, you know. And so sometimes, as children, we gravitate to our mothers more, because they seem as though they're more linear than your dad. You know what I'm saying, because if you get out of line, daddy gonna put you back in line. You feel what I'm saying.

So, as a mother, because of the mother's heart, like right now, you know, I got a little boy. You know what I'm saying. I got 13 years old and she can get on like she'll get on them. She do the whoopie and all that, but if I get on them too tough it hurts her feelings. You see what I'm saying. So a mother's feelings get hurt. And so, although it was times where my mother would rush us home from Washington to Glend Park, especially on report card dance, I mean I mean, bro, every light was green from King Drive all the way to 50. That is 50 of it. You know I'm saying like, hey, bro, every light green because it was time to get your butt. Well, you know, and although she put me in them situations, well, I put myself in the situations, but but once they get you there, it's like now, just the mother's love, like, well, don't walk them too hard, but they tried to hear all that.

You know what I'm saying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a mother would try to you know, like it was some things that I probably should have gotten in trouble for, and she knew I would have gotten in trouble by my daddy if she had told. And so it's something that they just don't say. You know what I'm saying. They just, they just let it go, they just let it ride, like now I want to get in trouble for this, I want to get in trouble for that, and so you know like, and then us, as being men too, a lot of time it's hard for us to say I love you, just genuinely, I love you. Or you know saying like we in our thirties and forties, you know, just see your man like, amen, I love you, whatever. So it's not that I don't love you, it's just that we don't say it as often as if I would tell my mother where it just come out fluently I love you. Hey, mama, you don't say I love you, you're saying this and that, but I'm going to tell you, man, I'm going to leave it at this.

It was one time I came in the house. We had just graduated from high school, in 92. And me, my cousin Tori and all us, man, we stayed out late, you know. We stayed out to the break of dawn, you know, and just came in, messed up and everything, man, and oh man, he was on his way to work, you know, because I was trying to come in before he left me, before I think he left, but he waited or he was running late or something. And when I came in the house and he had this look on his face and he said amen, you know, if you're going to be out all night, let me know.

You know what I'm saying, where you at, because I love you too and that always stuck with me. You know what I'm saying Because, like I say, it's hard for us to say that to one another, but he was letting me know, like, look, your mom ain't the only one that worries about you, the only one that, like, I love you too and I think more of me. Like, right now, you know, I take my little boy. We got a little handshake or whatever. I hug him and kiss him. You know, like, because as a young man, you have to feel love by your father, not just your mother. You have to know that your father is your security blanket, because we are the protection and that's just bottom line, absolutely.

You know that's uh, that's the straight thing we'll say. We'll say with my, with my oldest son and my daughter, but hand with my younger son, boas, and we talk about the phone. I tell them all the time I love you, son. He's like love you too, pops. You know it's one of those things that proceed.

Here's the thing that I learned from telling our young men that we love them, especially at a young age, because when they know they love and they heard that they're being told that you love them, that's teaching them is nothing. I'm afraid. To tell somebody that you love them and then you get a significant other, you can tell them you love them and show them that you love them at the same time. You know what I mean. So it's one of those things where some people like that I ain't sharing that L word. That's solved now, because if you don't express how you feel about a person, how would they know? So they don't walk around with dang. I think my dad loved me, I think my mom loved me, or you know what I'm saying. I trust you never have to wonder that.

No, well, you know too. You know you say that people say that when you say the love word is soft, and this is one thing, me and some of my other partners, we're in disgust and we had talked about a lot. You know, even the Bible say that. You know what I'm saying. The love of many has wax code. You know what I'm saying. Yep, and these are the perilous times that we're living in, where the love is wax and cold, and the love that I mean, even love in the families. You know what I'm saying. Like you know how we used to all get together family unions or Christmas or Thanksgiving, this, and that Now everybody seemed like they just go a separate way, or you got a certain amount of family that want to spend time with each other and everybody just not loving each other like we used to. You know it's like a separation or a divide. That's there.

And it's like, you know, one of those things there like family is so huge. Because it's important, shall I say, because I had a big family. You got to be family. We've been doing each other for years. Like you said, it's elementary, elementary and it's like elementary school. Man, it's like to have family. That's a big, big thing because you want to see your family succeed and grow and just be there for one another.

But that's hard because you have those family members who don't have that same mind, that same mind space. You know what I mean. And that puts you back. Okay, I ain't dealing with this today because I ain't got time for such a thing, but, that being the day, that's your family. But you know the tolerance level that you have as a human being, regardless of this family or not. You know what I mean. Yeah, you know, it's just man just to be able to try to pass along some sort of tradition to your children, even as, like I said, try to let them know that you love them, or having them hanging out and going to lunch, or whatever the case may be, because these are the things I know, life of myself, as far as from my dad. Those things are missing. Those things are missing. You know what I'm saying.

And, like, the biggest upset that I ever had from my dad was I kept my ticket for graduation and he didn't come. That was the biggest hurt. That was the biggest hurt Because that was an accomplishment that I did, that he didn't do. But now you know what I'm saying. We talked about it and he told me that man, he told me all the things. I'm sorry. I said that it's cool. I said it's cool. I said I'm good, you guys don't like that, you guys do, we're good. You know what I mean. But I had to let him know that because for a minute, man, it probably was 10 years after we graduated when I told him that. But I had to let him know. Like, hey, that wasn't cool, that hurt. You know what I mean Because you promised me like, save me a ticket, I promise I'm coming. I said I ain't cool, you did, he was dead on.

You know what I'm saying the thing. But you know, hey, I'm not going to let you know that. You know what I'm saying the thing. But you know, hey, you know a month, they're going to make a way. Like you said, they're going to find a way. They're going to make a way, they're going to do it, and nothing against fathers who do the same thing. You know what I mean Because, like I said, I know some great fathers that out there doing what they do in the hell of their business, even if they with the child, mother or not. You know what I mean, hey, because to the father's they're in the mother's out there Big ups.

Yeah, I mean, and I understand that, like you say, you got some fathers that they go over and beyond for their kids, but it's just something about, even if you do do that, it's just something about a mother's love. You see what I'm saying Like, even if the child is staying with the father, you know, because whatever situation happened with the mother and this, and that maybe they weren't able to take care of them, whatever, it's just still something in that child's like we can say, like if me and you didn't have our mothers in our lives and we was just with our father, it would be something missing. You know what I'm saying? It's just, it's an element that, okay, I mean, we can just take it as, as far as mother's day, where you go out to eat for mother's day, you got to. If you go out, you're going to be waiting for five hours we talking red lobster poppies, grandlust. Wherever you go, you're going to be waiting a very long time to get a seat on mother's day, but on father's day, oh, you're walking right in.

Oh man you're going to get hey, you're going to get a tie. You're going to get a T-shirt. You're going to walk right in. They're going to have your ham salad with that. We don't see that.

Hey, it's just a good okay. So I lost my father, right. My father passed away eight years ago, november 15th. He passed away eight years ago and I love my father, I miss him. You know what I'm saying. It hurt. I still go to the cemetery now. I still go to the cemetery for the day they passed away. So it hurts and everything right, but man, as much as that hurt I cannot imagine. You know what I'm saying. I can't even find him in right now. You know, like it's just different, because even with my father in the household and he was the breadwinner, he was the dyspilarian, he did everything. He showed us how to be, he showed me and my brother how to be a man, and all that. But I still saw mama do everything Cook clean, take us to school, take us here, take us shopping, dropping us off at school. You know what I'm saying. Just an everyday woman, you know, and that's just what mothers do.

Absolutely, absolutely. That's what they do, and you know it's like for me, right? So you say a mother's love to do anything, right? So for me, hey, my mom asked me for my birthday, on my 50th birthday. She said what you want for your birthday. I said I want a German track record and that's my favorite cake that she made. I've been since I was little and she know I love German track record.

It's just something about it, don't matter what type of love it is, it's something that's gonna draw you back to your mother or whatever the case may be. You know what I'm saying and I'm thankful and blessed that I still have my mother here and my father's still here. And for her to ask me what I want have I got it yet? No, I ain't been down there. You know what I'm saying, what she did, what she made, it's the three layer German track record. So it takes steps. You know what I'm saying. But you know what I'm saying? It's those things that keep you thinking about that love that a mother has, regardless of what it is. It's always gonna be something that's gonna remind you.

Of your mother, of your mother, of your mother. You know, it was like, although me and my father we talked, it was the point where I was running the streets, I was doing my thing and at that time he was reading the Bible and that wasn't my thing. So it was a separation there. You see what I'm saying, because we wasn't on the same level, we weren't thinking about the same thing. You know, it was a big point tied to because I was, you know, I thought I knew everything, I thought I knew everything, or whatever, and so I thought I knew everything or whatnot. And so therefore, it was a separation there too, because I was hardheaded and couldn't tell me nothing, and so it drew some tension between me and her too. You know what I'm saying, or whatever. But we reconciled that.

And then, when I started reading the Bible, when I started getting into the fold, me and my father, as I got older, had a white man. We was like that was my buddy, that was my friend, because we enjoyed each other's company, we enjoyed talking to each other. You know what I'm saying. So, yeah, man, you know just, you know just, a mother's love and a father's love, you know, I feel is just too different. It's just two different entities. It's just two different things. Not, like you said, not to say that fathers don't love just as much as mothers do, but it's just something different. It's just something different about a mother's love, you know. And so, man, we're going to end it on that, man, anything else you got to say about a mother's love. You know you want to give a shout out to your moms.

All right, yeah, I want to give a shout out to my moms, to Benita Blue, to all the beautiful mothers out there that are doing their job. Same thing, man. Shout out to the fathers out there, to my father, the best of the best. Hey, man, bro, I love you. Keep doing what you're doing, man, I appreciate it. I love to come back on the show Whenever you have me. You know I'm on my way down for a good time.

Oh, man, you know you always got a spot on the Moneyway show, keith. Hey, man, thank you for coming on. Hey, like he said, I'm a piggyback on that. Shout out to my mom, samela Johnson. Shout out to my wife, who was a wonderful mother herself. All my cousins, aunties, those mothers, hey, I love you all. God bless you. Hey, you been listening to the Moneyway show, thank you.

You're listening to the CJ Moneyway show, with my man, CJ Moneyway, tuning in every other Friday to one of the hottest podcast in the Midwest where you can hear exciting episodes and up-and-coming artists like myself, even inspiring authors, entrepreneurs and an everyday man and woman Right here on the CJ Moneyway show. That's good.