Accelerate Your Career #6: The Rules of Connection (Classic)

What's up everyone. This is Alex Lieberman, co-founder and Executive Chairman of Morning Brew. Welcome back to Founder's Journal, my personal audio diary, where I give you, the business builder, the tools you need to think better in order to build better, whether that's building a business, a team, or a new product.

So this week on Founder's Journal, we've been doing things a little differently, dropping our very first mini series all about helping you to accelerate your career. And instead of just one episode, Monday, Wednesday, and today, we've released two: a new show you won't want to miss plus a classic episode you might not have heard before. You're listening to the classic episode right now, number six in the series, but make sure you catch today's new episode. All the episodes together, make a mini curriculum for you to take your career to the next level. If you haven't heard the previous parts in the series, definitely go back and check those out, and once you've listened to all six parts, let me know what you think. Shoot me an email to alex@morningbrew.com or DM me on Twitter @businessbarista. 

Today, I'm talking about what it means to network in 2021. The world has changed drastically in the last 12 months, and that means how we think about connecting with others has to change to reflect this new world we live in. I want to help you all evolve your way of thinking about connections in this world. So let's hop into it. During COVID, I've spent a lot of time reflecting on what it means to network and how we should be thinking about forming connections as people and professionals, and that's because this way of living and working that we have been forced into has fundamentally changed what it means to be connected with other human beings. Prior to 2020, I thought about connection in a very superficial way. I thought about it in the way we're told about the abstract value of network growing up or in school. It's about in-person connection, it's about building as large of a network as possible on LinkedIn, it's about reputation, it's about meeting people that can add social value to you, and it's about reciprocation. 

Don't get me wrong. All of these things can be important, but this is just one small sliver of what it means to build a network and form connections. This definition lacks so much of the nuance that is necessary to form connections for the right reasons and respect all of the possibility that has been opened up by the internet. I want to share with you some of the rules that I have hypothesized as I think about what it means to make connections in a post COVID digital era.

These are rules that I plan on referencing myself as I try to guide my network in a way that's based on my values, that's based on playing the long game, and in a way that's based on substance over signaling.

Rule #1: Depth of Conversation over Number of Connections 

So without further ado, rule number one: depth of connection over number of connections. I have 79,000 connections on LinkedIn. I know roughly 1% of the people that I'm connected with on that platform. Beyond having an audience for the content I create, I get and give no value to a network this large. I would way rather 79 deep connections who I form meaningful bonds with and who I learned from, and hopefully teach in some way.

Rule #2: Intrinsic Value of Connection Over Extrinsic Value of Connection

Rule number two: intrinsic value of connection over extrinsic value of connection. This rule is about playing the long game. It's about resisting the urge to form connections solely from likes, social validation, or for the purpose of being introduced to others. This rule is about finding connections that level you up internally. They push you to think deeper and in different ways, they help you feel deeper and get a better sense of yourself. And my view is that if you focus on connections that help you think better, ultimately things like likes, money, and career trajectory will happen as a by-product.

Rule #3: Relatability of Connection Over Proximity of Connection

Rule number three: relatability of connection over proximity of connection. Since the beginning of the pandemic, I have seen maybe five people outside of my family, my girlfriend, and my puppy. Despite that, I feel like I have formed more deep connections in the last 12 months than in the previous five years of my career. All of these relationships have been made online through platforms like Twitter, and in many cases, I haven't even met any of those connections in person. Our parents grew up in an era where you knew your neighbors, and we grew up in an era where meeting people in person was super important. And they are important, but even more important is connecting with people that share similar values and similar interests to you. I would way rather have conversations with someone on Twitter about crypto if we're both super interested in it, than form deep connections with my next door neighbor, just for the sake of saying I'm close with the people that I live near. 

Rule #4: Value of Connection Over Identity of Connection

Rule number four: value of connection over identity of connection. So, this one is very specific to the internet age, but I've experienced it firsthand. We live in a world where pseudonymous interactions are more and more common. Whether I'm interacting on Twitter with someone who uses a profile picture at a handle that disguises their born identity, or going back and forth with someone on a Reddit thread with a handle that says nothing about who they are, I find myself increasingly engaging with people who, not only do I not meet in real life, but I also literally have no idea who they are. They could be teens, or adults, they could live in the U.S. or elsewhere, but it really doesn't matter. As long as I find my interactions with these people to be valuable, I take that any single day over a connection with someone who I know, but whom my interaction with gives me no value or energy. Just to give you a concrete example. There's a Twitter account called rampcapital, who I have learned more about content strategy from than most people I've ever met, and I have no idea who rampcapital is. 

Rule #5: Psychological Safety of Connection Over Prestige of Connection

That takes me to rule number five: psychological safety of connection over prestige of connection. There are so many people who, in theory, would be great additions to your network or your professional connections. They have deep expertise in a topic, and there's so much you can learn from them, but then you speak with them and you just don't click. You start talking to them and realize that they get impatient as you ask what are considered to be elementary questions about their specific area of expertise. I don't want to surround myself with these people. I want to surround myself with people that provide me the psychological safety to learn and struggle with an idea without feeling judgment for being a novice. 

Here's an example. Late last week, I had an hour long conversation with this guy, Patrick, who is a software engineer at a blockchain startup called Mirror. He has spent thousands of hours learning about crypto and blockchain and knows at least 10 X more than I do about this specific corner of the world. But he was incredibly humble, he let me ask as many questions as I had, and he was patient with me as I tried to understand his world. I felt so energized after making this connection because I was provided a safe space to learn alongside an expert without any form of judgment. 

Rule #6: Diversity of Connections Over Density of Connections

Rule number six: diversity of connections over density of connections. I am in media. I am in the startup world. I don't want all of my connections to be in media and the startup world, no matter how amazing these connections are. I want diverse connections in every sense of the word. Diverse thinking, diverse backgrounds, diverse viewpoints. This is so important for many reasons. 

First, whether it's Morning Brew or any other content or product I'm creating, my audience will be diverse. To put out great products and ideas that respect the diversity of my audience, I need and want diverse connections that provide the right inputs and ideas. I need to force myself out of the echo chambers that are so easy to get comfortable in, in a social media age. 

Second, as I've gotten deeper and deeper in media, I realized that some of my best ideas come from corners of the world that couldn't be more different from media. My most creative thinking has been inspired by things like retail, gaming, financial services, and other industries that I would have never had exposure to if I didn't have connections that thought and obsessed about totally different things from myself. 

And the third reason that diverse connections are so important is, it's not just about bettering yourself professionally. If I focused on connections solely that got me to think about business in an elevated way, I'd only be working on myself and connecting with others in an important, but incomplete manner. Connections are also about personal engagement and growth. I think so many people forget about that. Some of my strongest connections are people that I talk to about everything other than work. I talk with them about relationships, anxiety, aspirations, things going on in the world, and how to disconnect from technology. 

Rule #7: Impact of Connections Over Lifespan of Connections 

And the final rule of connections, rule number seven: impact of connections over lifespan of connections. In life, when you make a losing investment or buy a house that's depreciated, we talk about this idea of sunk costs and cutting your losses ASAP. And I think we should think about connections in the very same way. So many people hold onto connections because of their longevity and the feeling of obligation that comes with it. But when a connection provides no value to anyone, it's a disservice to both parties. It's okay for your connections to turn over time. And it makes sense. People change, their interests change, their needs change, it only makes sense that connections should change based on how we evolve in our careers and lives over time. Don't hold onto connections for the sake of longevity, hold on to connections if there is value and impact not worth losing. 

I Want to Hear From You

And those are my seven rules of connecting and networking in a post-COVID internet world. Now, I want to turn the mic to you all. I want this show to answer the biggest questions you have about business or tackle the biggest challenges you experience as a business builder, send an email to alex@morningbrew.com with your biggest business questions or biggest business challenges. I'm going to do my best to turn your emails either into episodes or videos for social, so send me everything you've got. And finally, if you enjoyed the episode, please share it with a friend that you think would love to use Founder's Journal as a tool for thinking better in order to build better. 

Credits

Our show is produced and engineered by Dan Bouza. Our associate producer is Bella Hutchins. Alan Haburchak is Morning Brew's Director of Audio, and I'm your host, Alex Lieberman. Thanks so much for listening and I'll catch you next episode.