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Dec. 21, 2023

Bullying (Navigating Fatherhood: Instilling Strength and Compassion in Our Sons)

Bullying (Navigating Fatherhood: Instilling Strength and Compassion in Our Sons)
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Good morning to all our listeners out there grappling with the complex roles of fatherhood and the tough lessons we have to teach our kids. Today's talk is spurred by a profound passage that hit home for me, a reminder that while we strive to nurture our boys into kind souls, we must also equip them with the strength to confront and challenge the darkness that exists in the world. It's a precarious balance between teaching them to be peacemakers and yet, protectors when necessary—a mantle that we, as fathers and parents, bear.

In a candid recounting of a personal family episode, I take you through the confusion that arises when our children face the age-old problem of bullies—heightened in today's world where the lines between self-defense and aggression seem blurred. The story involves a call from the vice principal about my son, an incident that echoes the experiences of many parents, and prompts a discussion on how our society's approach to handling bullies and self-defense has shifted over time. The conversation promises to be an insightful exploration of our roles as parents in guiding our children to stand their ground, while still advocating for peace in an increasingly complex social landscape.

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Transcript
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Good morning.

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It is Wednesday, december 20th, coming down to crunch time to the end of the year, christmas right around the corner.

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One of the topics that you'll see on an upcoming podcast episode is the subject of bullying.

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I don't recall where I first found this passage, but I really like it.

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I want to share it with you because this kind of gave me the idea.

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Dads, we must teach our boys to be kind, but also to punch bullies in the face.

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We must teach our sons to prefer peace, but also how to make war.

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There is still darkness in the world and good men are required to keep it at bay.

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The responsibility to raise those men lies with us.

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Alright, so a lot of truth to that statement, and anyone who ever says they've never been the target of bullying, they're lying to you or they just don't get it themselves.

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I think I speak for all of my peers when I say growing up, I was picked on from time to time.

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It's what you do about it, but back then there was nothing wrong with standing up for yourself.

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I'm totally confused, having raised three children, all of whom are young adults now.

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I don't recall exactly when the wheels fell off.

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When did it become punishable to stand up for yourself.

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When did it become punishable to defend yourself?

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I got a phone call from my son's vice principal.

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He's no longer vice principal, he's since moved up.

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But I get a call one afternoon, friday afternoon, at Michael's, in trouble for fighting.

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So first things first, as my father did and I learned from him, my wife and I get together, we call our son into the room and I say alright, lay it out, tell me what happened.

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So he explains his side of the story.

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He's a kid who, from preschool, likes everybody, everybody likes him.

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Easy day, alright.

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So now fast forward junior high.

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This other student evidently had been given him a hard time.

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Constantly, boom, boom, boom, just constant, constant, constant.

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Well, my son doesn't say a word, doesn't say a word about it to anyone.

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Alright, I guess one day, this day, he finally has enough.

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So the kid starts you know, boom, boom, boom, verbal, you know barrage.

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And my son gets up, turns on him, looks right at him and he says I'm not going to name names.

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Alright, my son says douchebag, do you really want to fight me?

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Because if you do, don't be surprised when I bounce your head off that wall.

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That's it, that was it.

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That was the beginning, middle and end of that confrontation.

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Now I, my wife and I, have to call the vice principal and I have to get at earful of how my son acted inappropriately.

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We are so far down the rabbit hole right now we can't even see the rabbits, okay.

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So that's going to be subject matter for an upcoming episode.

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Hope you tune in.

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Thank you.