Introducing My Co-Host The Jolly Viking

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Hello everyone. And welcome to the curious Ulsterman podcast. The podcast designed to give you the tools you need to thrive as an adult. And today's a special episode because today I get to introduce to you my friend and cohost Nathan senior , AKA the Jolie Viking. Uh, Nathan has very kindly agreed to come on and speak at least once a month on the podcast. And we also do either a first day or Friday night Twitch session , uh , just a casual chat , uh, between us , uh, which you are all more than welcome to join in. Uh , if you want to keep be kept up to date on that Twitch stream time and dance do subscribe to all the various social media platforms. Uh , the curious Ulsterman , uh, and in today's episode, I just get Nathan to introduce himself, give a bit of his background. And also we get into a discussion about why we both think new year's resolutions are pointless, and there's a better way to go about changing your habits, life , uh , chewed and all manner of things associated with that. Uh, the reason we're having this chat today is because , uh, if you'd listen to the trailer episode , uh, you'll heard me say that I would have had a financial advisor wrong , but as with all things , uh , life gets in the way, and unfortunately he wasn't available. So for the foreseeable future, me and near Finn , uh, knee first week of every month, we'll sit down and discuss a theme or topic and just give our opinions and perspectives on it. And yeah, it will be an interesting one. That's never a dull conversation with Nathan. Uh , and I'm so glad he's agreed to join me in this podcasting journey. So without further delay folks here is my conversation with Nathan. Kniffen welcome to the podcast.

Hello, Joni . Thank you very much for having me.

Yeah. So first off, thank you very much for being my co-host . And when I initially said, right, I'm going to make a podcast. I initially, one of the first questions I asked was I'm probably going to need a co-host upon occasion because obviously I could be at sea and I couldn't think of anyone better. You were literally the first and only person I fought. I want you, I want is my cohost for everyone, for everyone, everyone else in my, you know, friends, friends , circle, and family. I love you all. I really do. Don't take anything personally, but just, and brings a certain something that , uh , I think it would be very well suited to this podcast. Um, so yeah, I'm really glad you're here. This is our second ever episode, which is scary. It is bit scary. I'm not going to lie. Um, but I'm enjoying it so far. Uh , and I've enjoyed our little Twitch streams. I think we've had about four or five nights . Um, they've been good crack and I know certainly the private audience we were screening to before , uh, this podcast went up , uh, fairly enjoyed it as well. Uh, and D we , we missed it. We missed it. Uh , I think the week prior to Christmas and people were like, where's the , where's the Twitch stream, which is always a good sign. Definitely . Yeah. So, because you are going to be my cohost and you know, you're going to be a big part of this podcast. Uh, I feel that it's important that the audience get to know you. Uh, so if you want to give the audience your story and , uh, yeah, take it away.

My story. Well , um, I'm currently 2019 years old. I'm still in my late twenties . Um, for me like your good self of the maritime industry international , uh , currently in between jobs. So if anyone out there is listening and has got a job, an idiot can do , um, I'll say a kid , um, don't know what else to say. Um , I am a fully paid up card-carrying Christian. And so my views or things I'll be bringing to the podcast when we talking will be coming from , uh , will be peppered with that flavor, if you like, but it will be from a wagging finger . So ox, preachy type, but we'll have the flavor of the Christian viewpoint to it.

Yeah, I like that. Um, something I think that is worth mentioning because Niffin is very , um, humble, so to speak, and doesn't like to flaunt his various achievements and various things Niffin has also done a lot of mentoring and youth work, which I think is worth noting about actually, I mean, to my knowledge, it would be at least dozens of youth that you would have mentored and steered on a far better path,

Hopefully,

Hopefully. But yeah, I mean, certainly , uh , I look forward to the conversations we're going to have , we do differ slightly on some views, but that's also part of being adults. We don't agree on everything. And it also is nice because I can see it from your perspective and you can see things from mine and, you know, I mean , that would be a nice change because you just go on, I don't know, other podcasts or the internet in general, and it's just this viral , just this , this, you know, vomit, but it's just, you know, it's ridiculous that people, the Mo that , you know, modern adults can see an opinion, which they like, and it, it stresses them out a little bit too much. Whereas I think we're not going to have that problem. I think. Yeah. I mean, our conversations are usually filled with a good laugh. I'd usually leave smarter than when I started the conversation. Uh , and this usually involves copious amounts of beer, but I unfortunately cannot have a beer I'm about to drive after that Saturday . So

If you can't disagree with someone and remain friends, then I don't know . I worry for that kind of mentality. Oh yeah . A hundred percent. And also if you can't disagree with song, but still here to say it as well, you know , um, uh, another thing actually , you know, if I sat here and we just agreed with everything , you know, if everything I said, and you said that , I said , Oh yeah , he's great. You know, I'm never going to let anything, you know, and likewise, if I sat here and said, Oh yeah, a hundred percent, I agree with you. Um, you know, you'll never learn , uh , we, we, we, we bounce those things off each other. And , um, you know, we may still finish the conversation when neither of us agree, but we would, I would hope so hope that we would still remain friends, you know, and , uh , you know, friendship, isn't even an Appleton isn't agreeing with everybody or it's about listening and assessing, and then, you know, making, making you, making your mind based on the data that's presented. Yeah .

Well, we've , we've been friends for what we've been friends for. What? 10 years now?

Oh, well we made 2006 , 2007 .

No, no, it was , no, it was later than I think I was . I joined. Yeah. I joined when I start going to see , I still always in tan, tan. Yeah. It will be 10 years.

Yeah . Bye . Bye . I met you on your, when you, prior to going to see when you were still training .

Yes. Yeah. That was, yeah, that was definitely 2010. Cause I went to see for the first time in 2011, but yeah, a decade like it's , uh , yeah, I think after all this time, I would have found her something that we viciously disagree on, but we haven't. So, but I mean, it's been, it's, it's been very good because I mean, it's something that I know, certainly , um, during my time in Portsmouth , um, when we used to go to the Hong Kong, T-bar big shout out to that. Oh, can't , can't wait to go back. Um , yeah. And yeah, it was, it was always nice. It was just a nice time to go. We'd always have our Hong Kong. T-bar when we, and the, and I would end up going to brew house in the evening, watching, watching the rugby, getting far, far too drunk. Um, I just cha I wish in a way we could have recorded the conversations we had at Bri hosts , because that would have been some of the conversations we had were men men's , it was grit . And as something in the back of my mind as well, that if we're ever in port some of again, I would ask brew , host any chance we could set up a podcast in there. We'll give you a big shout out .

They're a big business now.

Yeah. Fair. I mean, I've only grown and I suppose there's a reason for that, but yeah, I mean, I do, I do miss our little chart , so I must've met. And then we had our whole lot of going down there. I didn't really , Although I have started that tradition. Well, prior to COVID, I can't really call it a tradition because when you do want to squeeze it in once, but I want to make it a tradition of, you know, we all meet up, back down again in port Smith . Me , you see , um, and Mikey and everyone else, cause it was grit . And yet every nationality for the six nations walked in there with a bar that was grit every, all the six colors. And you just sat there like, ah, this is great. Love them . Nice . So , uh, just the clue in audience, the idea of our little charts here , uh, which are in place for the financial advisor until I can find one or depending, actually, if you really enjoy these charts and would prefer a financial advisor to come on once in a blue moon. Um, yeah. The, these charts are going to , uh, involve basically a theme or a subject that we pull out of thin air most of the time and then just chat about it. Uh, so yeah, if you really enjoy this job or audience supplied very important that yes. So yeah, if you would prefer to hear this consistently, please do let me know , um, for any of the socials and , uh , the curious Ulsterman and yeah, we can, like this podcast is quite adaptable. I've got very clear direction. I'll take it, but it's also, I'm not deaf to listeners, so whatever you enjoy do, let me know. But for the first ever little chat between us, Nathan , what would you like to discuss

Happy new year happy new year. I would like to discuss the new year, new me nonsense the making of new year's resolutions and what I perceive to be a better means of doing a most sustainable means.

Interesting. I also agree if you, new year's resolutions are nonsense. Like I don't see why you should have to wait till a certain date to decide that you need to change it for something that's quite clearly needing changed in your life. Why wait until a certain day to do it? Why not just do it now , but that's just my 2 cents off the bat on that one.

Yeah. I mean, as well, you know, the other thing to remember is this is totally new year, according to the Gregorian calendar. And there are a bunch of other calendars that you can choose to start a new year , um, around the world. Um, so, but that said, you know, it is, it is a tradition and traditions is something that, you know , humanity thrives on , um, that, you know, all cultures have, you know , history and tradition . So there's no getting away from that. And that there is something to said about, you know, full that , you know, a, a marker , a line in the sun, if you like, where change or something new is going to take place. Um, and so I understand that the new year thing, the problem is that the main issue I have is that it feels like a lot of industries geared towards that. So, you know, over the last few days, it will be through the whole January as well. And you get , um, you know , assaulted , um , um, social media and on TV by adverts for , um, gyms, online fitness classes , um, diets and those kinds of things that would be, but also be those, those outrageous magazines that, you know, after 7,468 copies of this magazine, you can build your own version of a formula, one car or something. And the first one pushing 90 P and all the other ones after that cost you a tether. Um, you know, by which time the amount of money you spend, you could have probably bought a real formula one . Um, and this whole, you know, you, you just bombarded by these six cause it's the new year and it's what you should be doing something new. Um, and I, and this is only my own experience if I'm forcing or projecting my weaknesses and failures onto , onto you and onto your listeners, I apologize. But my experience is that, you know, you go right on camera to do this work . And , um, so just to sort of contextualize it a few years ago, I decided I would do, if we here already , I would do vegan January. Um, and , uh, you know, I'd made my decision that was going to join in with vegan January. This was going to be a great thing and that, you know, half past two on new year's day morning, so we're two and a half hours into the, into January. I was sat , the whole steps, took it into a kebab.

No .

And so I even made it to the first hurdle.

I even think at that point I was

Out of the starting block . Um, you know, I had already failed , um ,

Absolutely fast, you know, it doesn't matter

The rest of that month. I didn't eat any meat based or Honeywell based products. The fact is that I'd already failed. Um, and there was no, you know, you can't even say, Oh, I'll do, I'll do the 1st of February as well to make up for it either. You can't do anything about it, you're messed up. Um, and that's , you know, you laughed and rightly so, cause that's a lighthearted silly example from my own life. Um, you know, that there's been times where like, you know, you're speaking from the Christian viewpoint as well, like lent , um, where Christians are supposed to fast or give something up for 40 days. And , and this is going back again a few years where a friend of mine , um, challenge me to give up caffeine based products for lead . Um, and I did, I achieved the whole of led to caffeine free 40 days. Um, but on that Easter Sunday morning prior to going to church to celebrate the resurrection Sunday, the most important day in the Christian calendar, you know , um , what did I do? I went into good . I went to cafe narrows , the five shots of Marie karma . So , you know , did I learn anything from 40 days of giving up caffeine? No, I didn't like what was , what was the point? What was the point of do there? I didn't improve myself. I didn't learn anything. All I did was spend 40 days hating the choice I've made . And then the end of it, like, like a , like a junkie, you know, hitting myself up with so much caffeine. One go, I was, I felt ill like what an idiot. Um, and so I think, you know, when we, when we look at those things, when we look at new year's resolutions, changing, doing these things, also sometimes that we, we try and do too much in one go. So, you know, I'm gonna , I'm going to lose weight. I'm going to stop eating meat. I'm going to do this and not do that run every day. Like, and all of a sudden it becomes too much. And , or maybe like you get to do it on the first day because new year's day is a bank holiday. So that's okay. And maybe like, fortunately this year, so you have , you know, you have stuff today on Sunday as well. So you've got new year's day. And then two more, two more days, you might do three days of the new year with your resolution, with your plan and your dream. And then you hit Monday and you back you work and , you know, like a souffle cooked by an unskilled chef, you all your plans just fold and flop into, into, into nothingness. And , and then , and then what happens is, is the guilt monster comes along and the guilt monster goes on and tells you that your rubbish is your neck . And the problem with the guilt monster is , is there, it has your own voice. It has your, because actually is you shouted at yourself and, you know, you ended up, I'm not going to do it. Um, you do the bare minimum and you take that off as that . So K I clawed my way through January feeling miserable and wrong the whole time. And I think for me that that's not as not useful, it's not beneficial. I think you're just doing yourself harm , um, you know, your self harm mentally, physically, emotionally. Why, why would you, why would you voluntarily self harm for 31 days? Um, or whatever. And I was , and I'm not this, this is not, you know, I'm not having to go at any of these people, you know, like people like Joe wicks and , um , you know, people like that who are in the public consciousness at the minute who, you know , do these things. And I think it's great, you know, these people who are providing these things, I mean, he did it for free, for crying out loud. He just did these videos on YouTube free. And I think that's commendable, all the people who followed him, did what he was doing. Great. Um, and the problem is, is if you're anything like me, you've got that , you know, good-looking friend male or female, you know, who is just a wizard, everything I think, Oh yeah , I did . The only way I can send them a little finger for three hours. Brilliant. Thanks friend . You know,

Cause you were already

Beautiful. Now look at you. This is disgusting. I'm just going to go to another mince pie.

Yeah . And again ,

The guilt of the shame, wouldn't everything . So it comes back and let me hold, it sticks his tongue out at you and makes you feel like a Wall-E . Um, and I just think that, you know, we end up in this cycle of, you know, we , we start off with it. Everything's great. And then slowly, you know, all is upon , we start in . Um, and we think that the next thing is going to be the thing that's going to help us stop doing this or change that. And so I think when it comes to those things, I think mostly , you know, find, find one thing. Cause sometimes like a small change can actually, I think, without realizing other changes, follow along with it. So if you can choose one thing, you know, thinking and not put all your energies into it, because obviously you've got to have a job and you've got to have relationships and do all these things were put energy into making that one thing. Good. I think, you know, you'll do better than trying to do many things. And I don't think there's anything wrong either with setting a start date either. Um, you know, and , but I think I would say, you know, if you, if you think, if it comes to like mops, the fall team, you think, Oh , I need to make a change. So that needs to be different and make that change on March the 15th. You know, don't wait until January the first aware until an auspicious day, you know , where , you know , a goose has flown up in particular to the moon, across the rising of Jupiter, you know, this nonsense here, just start pick a day and stop . Um, but then also think that within that, what it was about to know site back to the conversation we were having at the beginning about when we, how we, how we are friends , um, and how we disagree on things. And sometimes we will say, Oh, something that's tough for the other one to take on board because we disagree . Um, and I think finding a good friend who is dependable, but he's also not afraid to tell you if you've been a moron and also who, if they tell you that you'd be tomorrow , you're not going to get upset. You're gonna go, Oh, you know, if it is Johnny who was telling me, I'm be the moral , I probably am be involved . I need to listen to it, you know , um, then find that person and then be accountable to them. They don't necessarily need to be accountable back to you. You know, it's not that kind of , it doesn't have to be a two way street in that respect. It's just, you know, you know, so tell me around and say, Hey Johnny, I've noticed that when I walk , pass away in scales, they laugh at me. Um, so what I decided to do is I want to reduce it from an open laugh to a little child . Um, and so what I'm going to do is I'm going to do something to lose weight. And what I'd like you to do is, is every week, ask me what my new ways for the next six weeks. I don't know , I'm picking, as you can tell, I'm not a clever person . I'm just pulling things out of the sky. Um, Oh , the other kind of thing, or if you were to say, actually, do you know what I'm really rubbish at it? I mean, cause this was supposed to be a financial hour, you know what ? We should have saving money. So you'd turn around to your brother or your cousin or your mate and you say, look, can you just, you know, if you see me going on to Amazon doing this, you say you don't need it. You know? Um, can you ask me at the end of every month, how much money I've saved, you know, and it's that kind of, you know, someone who will, who will robustly make you accountable and who you will listen to and hear if you're not actually doing this, that you said you were going at the table , um, and you know, whatever it is, you know, you know, whether it's something, as I dunno , say, like you say, you've got a long-term partner. Um, but you find yourself, you go , not that you ever act on it, but you have a wandering eye and you want to stop doing that. You know, you don't want to be, you know , I turn on me of the bloke, you know , you don't want to be that bloke in , in the meme anymore . So who'd you make yourself accountable to, you know, do you know what I mean? Is it , you know, make yourself accountable in, in, in what you're doing. If it's the fact that, you know, you, you've got yourself into a place where you need at least three cans of beer before you can fall asleep on a night , that's not a healthy place to be. So who do you talk to make yourself accountable to deal with that if it's, you know, saving money, if it's going for a job every day , um, you know, there are any, any, anything that you can think of right . Supply and exhaustive list , um, but find that person. So you set a date right under the mimic a change from the 4th of January, you know , um, because actually if you waited till after the first Jeremy, the hype Scott and everything's died down and no one's looking anymore as well. So that's also good, you know, and go, right. Okay. And then I'm going to find this friend and it's unfortunate as we are in the era of COVID. Cause I won't say, you know, posting in my passport , I would needed to be accountable to someone who was normally don't . They said, can we go another Bader ? Or can we go to have a coffee together and sat down with them and just said, look, this is where I'm at. This is what's going on. I would like you to just keep an eye on me , um, help me get through this because actually like, you know, the, your, your brain takes so many days to home accountant . Do you know where he is to follow this synaptic paths? Um, for a new, for a new behavior?

I think I was having a chat with my friend Ray , uh, on how do you get over your fear of the gym, which it should also be part of this batch of episodes I've dropped in launch day. And I think he said something along the lines of it takes 60 days to create a new habit.

So there you go. So if you were to say it to someone for the next two months, can you check on me, keep me accountable, make that , um, you know, let's use the Amazon thing preview , I'm sorry, I should , I don't want to Slack off Jeff, Jeff Bezos, the money saving thing. Sorry , the , you know , the , you know, I want to save money. Um, and so to do that, I need to stop going on eBay, Amazon. Um, I know all the places to people go to spend money now isn't it ? The internet.

Yeah , yeah, exactly. The internet. It's just where like my has just went over the past three months, especially setting up a podcast.

Well, I mean , but you know, [inaudible] , can you check up on me and it doesn't mean that you have to give this person, your bank details. Goodness. We know it's just that you you're honest with them. So if they, if they message you and say, you know, what, how have you spent in habit? It's been this week and you go, Oh, they're being pretty poor, actually. You know, and especially now mostly with people, you know, you know, this customer isn't, we can't do so much of that face to face . And I don't mean like they so presume where in theory we are face to face . Um, I think, you know , when you, when you physically with someone, I think someone that you get on really well with, you know, with , you know, with you're in a cup or a pint or wherever it is when you're actually there. If they know you well enough, they can see your body language, they know your towels. They know if you're talking about your backside in your arms . Um, and, and if they're a good enough freedom, they'll challenge you on it and go, no, you know, chatting nonsense, stop it. And for that time, it takes for your brain to rebuild those or to build new pathways and to break down the old ones so that you're now in a new mindset, be accountable for the time. It doesn't have to be for any eternal time. You know, it's just for a time long , beautiful , you know , to , to, to retrain yourself. And in that time, to be honest with that person, and it doesn't mean that every time you talk to them, it has to be winding on session. Or this is pretty difficult because actually the other thing I've found is that if you , you, the human brain is an amazing supercomputer , isn't it? Um, you know, it's just, if you, if you give yourself a prohibition, so like going back to the thing where I give coffee for, I'll give them caffeine for , um, for lent. I remember I was in the, I was in the restroom at work and then one of the guys came in and I went Kevin and went round the corner. Sue's right out the side of everybody. Okay. So we couldn't see it and didn't talk to anybody we walked in and I'm sat there. And I'm, I think we were about 22 days until that. So just halfway . No. And I got up and I walked around the corner and this land is salad with his handover , both his hands, over a camera to hide this camera, but I could smell it. And I think the reason I could smell it was cause I , I give it myself a prohibition, no caffeine. And so now my brain is on overdrive and look out for caffeine. And I was so angry with this and he did nothing wrong. He did nothing wrong on it . It was by himself at camp . And I was, I was so cross with them and I was horrible too much. I had to apologize afterwards and say, I'm really sorry. I did not. You know , you did not deserve for me to speak to you that way. Um , he laughed at me because he thought it was been ridiculous for apologizing, but I had to do to get that out of the way. But you know, the, you know, as soon as you give yourself a prohibition, that's what your brain stops thinking about. So you need to, you know, find something new, do something different. So it's not a case of saying, no, I can't do this thing. It's a case of going, yes, I can do this thing. And, and so you, you know, I have a , um, so again, rent it and [inaudible] , so I've got that on my phone and you know, I've had to train myself when I wake up on a morning ritual. I did that with no accountability and I woke up and I had to do that for a couple of months. So it must be 60 days. Yeah, that sounds about right. Okay. So what can I do this positive? What can I do is different than reaching for my fault ? And so it was just a case of finding something new to do, you know? And so I think if we, you know, that way, then what you're doing is you're taking your brain off , thinking about the prohibition, the thing you've said no to, and now thinking about something new. Um, and so if you can retrain your brain and particularly if you can find a positive thing, but then also equally, if you, you know, if you do get yourself, someone , you can be accountable to having the courage to say to that person. I want , you know what, I'm really sorry. Uh , but this afternoon, you know, I finished work and rather than just put, putting my laptop down and go downstairs and making a cup of tea, I've went on insert website name here and spend 200 quid , um, on a , on a golf ball. Cause I saw an advert for it and really what I I'm being slightly facetious. But you know what I mean? You know, having the courage, to be honest and owning that mistake because it's in that, that that person could then affirm you, remind you that you're okay. You're not, you know, you're not alluding, you know, a criminal, you just start fresh and, and continue to make strong choices, but being accountable. But also if you don't message that person, and then later on that day to go, Hey mate, how are you doing? How you get on having the courage to go, yeah, I'm a goon. I didn't do this thing. Or I did do this thing, you know, so it's, you know, I didn't go and run two kilometers, like I said, I was going to do. Um, so I think it's, you know, it's, it's about being positive and finding someone who you trust, who will speak positive into your life. And I think he's like , this is now not a facetious thing now. Cause I know I have been about, is that part of like the ethos of like the I council ? Do they do that kind of thing?

It is indeed. Yeah. You , you touched on something. So for example , um, I've got um, two or three guys , uh, that I meet up with once a week and uh, or over zoom because it is all over the planet. Um, and the, you know, I've set myself objectives and goals for the, what each quarter of the year and each week, if I don't meet them, they ask me, you know, why did, why did this not happen? But not in a accusatory way or in a judgemental way. It's right. Okay. Well, what circumstances led to you? Not for example, I'm not going to the gym or , uh, learning about cars or not meditating or working on a podcast for at least 30 minutes a day. That's like my four objectives for , for at least for the previous quarter. Um, and I, I, and you're totally right. I be totally transparent with them. Brutally honest. Okay. This day I was just lazy. I just, I just did not have the motivation to do it, to which their reply would be. Okay. No dramas. How about you stop relying on motivation and instead of establish a habit, so no matter how unmotivated you feel, it's so ingrained that you will do it anyway. Yes . It's having that positive affirmation. People who want, whose bet you're your best interest. They have your best interests at heart. Absolutely . You know, they're not gonna , I mean, like there's a difference in that, you know, you have to have a common sense us with all things and the , you know, Dave down the street, who's just a judgmental prick, apologize to anybody to call. Dave just texted me about a fit near there. But you know, the judgmental guy down the street who is just going to give you grief regardless, you know? Cause you said you were, you said over the pub and the conversation, Oh , you're going to start running for your four miles and John and you didn't as like, Oh, that didn't last long. Did it? Whereas your wife or your brother or sister, your best man says of what you were running three or four miles in January and you go just, you make your excuses because not to be too harsh or to hear , but they are excuses, you know, a bar breaking your leg, being a valid excuse or some other, you know, something reasonable. And it's like, well, okay, well what habits or what's your mindset that you didn't do it? And you know, saying it in a particularly blunt non-judgemental way, but then having that, well, I believe he can do it, that positive affirmation. And that's a lot more, that's something that you can do consistently because that's the key as well as like for me , um, a John re first wasn't when I started to improve this year, it was April 1st, April fool's day of all days. Like, so I just decided to get 1% better every single day, just 1%, by the end of the year, I've got a podcast. Um, my, you know, especially my mental health wise, taking up a lot of , uh, you know, positive habits that increase my , my mental health. Um, you know, I'm certainly the fittest I've been in a long time. Um, and yeah, I know a lot more about cars and I definitely did nine months ago. So it's, it's something it's a quite creating that consistency. Isn't it? I mean, even if it's like, yeah,

Go ahead . I was just going to say, if you, if you , um, do an internet search on, I mean, I know this is going back a few years now, but on Usain bolt's training program for running the a hundred meters and it was something like every day, he would, he was aiming to improve his time by, and it was, it was down to like hundreds of a second. So it wasn't even noticeable to the naked eye. If you, if you were to sit on video , if he was running on a truck and you were sat on a , on a bench at the side of the truck and you were watching him every day, you wouldn't even notice he was getting faster, but everyday part of his training and his diet and everything he was doing, it was about, I think it was something like no point , no , no, whatever the second faster. And you study that and you look at how many days he did that over the run up to the Olympics, no one , the doodle gold and also no wonder the golden in the last, was it 10 meters, a hundred meters. He puts his arms down by his side. It looks like he's walking. You know , like a guy isn't just fast is outrageously fast. But if you look at his training program, you know , he and his trainer committed to doing, and it is, you know, it , it's , it's such a small amount of difference each time you run the a hundred meters that if you were to sit and watch it , you wouldn't notice the difference. Um, I don't think sometimes we can set ourselves up with this idea, you know, like you were saying, Oh , I'm going to learn more about cars that, you know , you could set, set yourself this goal. And you're expecting that by lunchtime, the following day that you should know at all, when actually in reality, like let's, let's be realistic here. Let's say that by lunchtime, the following day, like you said, that I know 1% more than I knew yesterday. Um, and it's not defeatist that it's not weak and it's not rubbish. You know, it is truthful, honest, and it's realistic. And, and having that person, when you were saying , who will be positive and, and accept the fact that you turn around and go, actually I was just being bone idle and they go, all right , Cole , what are we going to do to stop that from happening? Um, and I think that's really valid and vital.

Yeah. But my thing as well is the, especially with goal setting for me, you have to be very, very Pacific. And so for me, and it's an ambitious goal on my part , uh , by the end of this quarter, I would like to on average, have 500 downloads a month, you know? So it's, it's within the realm of possibility, but it's also going to be challenging to get, you know, 500 people a month consistently downloading this podcast. Um, I would, you know, I'm not gonna lie. That's a bit of a nervous thing about that because I realized how much work that's going to be and, you know, but the thing is as well that the guys, the , the positive circle of men , um , I'm surrounded with who want to see me succeed , um, are like, yeah, great goal. So what are you going to do about it? So I know I'm going to have to work on my marketing skills. I know that I'm going to have to generate content that the audience are going to find valuable. Um, there's so many aspects to that, but the key as we've already discussed is having that positive circle of friends who have your best interests at heart and consistent in that . Because like, yeah, it's , it's easy to say on new year's Eve, I'm going to do this, but we don't win the tie . You know, when the tire meets the road and it's a miserable Monday morning in January, and it's like, do I really, you know, it's for me as well. It's kind of like, well pick a goal that you'll be obviously passionate about, but it's also achievable. But at the same time, what's going to move the needle forward the most. So for example , uh , people say they want to get healthier. They want to sleep there. They want to eat better. And you know, all the law , there's a lot of goals that can just be solved by exercise. So like, for example , um, if you walk , uh , if you go and just walk a mile, just start walking a mile, right? Not only are you going to like lose weight, you're going to have more energy. You're going to sleep better. Your mental health is going to get better. Your all, all the physical benefits are obviously gonna be , uh , transparent and not regard. Um, like just by doing one thing, walking a mile, so many aspects of your life change because of the action you took. Okay . So then in February walk two miles, March free miles, you know , and just carry on. And that's a lot more sustainable than saying, I'm going to go for a 10 mile run in January. It's like walk a mile, get up five minutes earlier, read 10 pages of a book each day, you know, like do something to take messy action. That's going to be , uh , a quote. You'll hear me say consistently in this podcast, like this podcast, I can tell you very, I can tell you. And I , and you obviously all know it already is not perfect. It is a long way to go, but like, I can't wait for perfection. And if you do, it's never gonna happen, but there's got to find that balance between taking messy action and not taking any at all, for fear of either judgment or your fear it's going to flop, or you don't think you're a good enough for like imposter syndrome and all that kind of thing. So, yeah. I mean, I think that new year's resolutions do come from a good place. I think people, I think people recognize that we can always do better, but there is this very insidious, almost like it's an insidious, like guilt feeling. It's almost like you're not good enough. Or, you know, you're not performing to your best, which the advertising agencies jump on, make you feel bad. And then that forces you to take action. Like you said, going coffee free for 40 days, which you hear it. Why would you, you know, w why, why go from having, yeah. Why would go from having say four cups of coffee a day to none , uh , for 40 days to know you're going to take it back up again after 40 days, vengeance, vengeance. Yeah. So why not create a mortgage sustainable Hobbit ? Why not say it to your best and yet, right. I'm going to try and walk half a mile or a mile, and I'm going to try and reduce from four cups of coffee a day to free. I'm going to try and finish a book, you know, by the end of January, I'm going to, you know, simple, the simple little things are going to move the needle forward and where you need to be. And as far as if your best mate checks in on you every so often , uh , and it's like, well, how's it going? Uh , because having that, having that sternal influence will be very important because it's going to be days where you just feel terrible or you feel like you can't see the progress you've made, whereas you're me or your family member could say, well, actually, you know, looking from an outside perspective, you're doing really well, keep going. Uh , but then on the other hand , there would be days you're like, I can't be arsed to do this. And I'm going to say , uh , not hopping on making. So, you know, totally. Yeah, you're doing it. You need that positive influence in your life.

I'll tell you what, then let's, let's put our money where our mouth is. Yeah . Okay. And see this , this is going to be broadcast to your 10,000 listeners.

Um,

I am moment of recorded . She's 48 minutes past the hour of seven in the United Kingdom. Um, made myself accountable to you, Jonathan Bell. I will aim to type, because I can't hand write to save my life. Um , 1000 words every day in a , in a story I'm going to try and write.

I like it. I like it very much. Yeah.

So I, I started it before Christmas because I was out for a walk one evening and an idea just started bubbling around in my head. And so I got home and threw some ideas down, but then, so there's already a few thousand words. Maybe I think there's a 10 or 15,000 words already written. Um, but then Christmas happened. I was going look , you know , it's Christmas day. And I'd much rather hang out with my nephew then, which is true because he's cool. And he's fun. Um, he's two years old, you know, cost is fun . Um, and then , and then the next day I was kept , well , you know , it's free to me. Um, and then basically since then , I've done nothing. I've opened the document once and looked at it, but the nothing. And actually, as, as we've been talking, I've had this overwhelming sense of go. You're suddenly you're telling these people to do this and you all not doing that. That would make me the worst of humans. I may as well call myself a Tory politician.

No shots fired, absolutely

Filthy socialist . I'm afraid of that . No better either . Um , and so in the spirit of maintaining this, I will make myself accountable to you for doing that. And a thousand words every day. What I'll do is I'll take a , a lope in the document. I'll take a photo of the word, count at the bottom at the start and take a photo of the word counter at the end and WhatsApp you the two pictures. And if there isn't a thousand difference , um , I dunno , you have permission to calm your route or wherever you see fit by a woman, myself, accountable to you in that enough. So that way I am practicing what I've just sat here and said, we should do.

Uh , great . Uh, and I will make myself accountable to you for reading. I'm trying to think of what's a reasonable one , cause I don't , I definitely don't read as much as I should. Uh , do you have a book? I do have a book of the month. I generally read, read with the gents , uh , previously mentioned, but I would like to maybe try and squeeze in two books a month because my lack of reading over the years, I think has been , um, less than ideal. So , um, the , the , the topic of the month , um, is imposter syndrome. So I can't remember what the actual book title is called, but I've got to read that this month, but I would like to increase my book, reading to at least two books a month. So

I'll, I'll keep you accountable to the second book and the I council can keep you accountable to them.

Hey, there you go. Sort of sorted. There you go.

What would you read is your second book and would you, would you be looking for another, like self-help teaching book or would you be looking for something completely

And any , I I'll read anything to be honest. I think that the book I got , um, wild at heart for Christmas , uh, by John Eldridge , uh, not, I'm just , uh , a key difference here for the audience. I am not religious. A little Nathan has said he is John Eldridge. It is a Christian book, but from what I've heard, it is a phenomenally good book that you can read what really you're religious or not. Yeah. No shame. Get the ballet show. Yeah. So yeah, two books a month. Um, and yeah, I think that, you know, there's no, there's no downside to reading too much. I think really. I mean, if you, you know, you're only going to get grew wiser and more learned. I hope that's the word. Um, uh , yeah , it is, it is a mess podcast. Uh , yeah. So , uh , two books a month for , until December next year. And , um, I know that's yeah . Whoa , don't tilt the somber . Oh , wait , wait, when do you want to go till January?

You said, you said December next year, is I assuming you mean 20, 20, 10

End of this year lofty goals there? Um , yeah, so, yeah, so , uh, that'll be , uh, two books a month and by the end I'll I'll I know that's possible because I just waste too much time on my phone or just, yeah, I could go on all day about how I waste time, whereas I can be more intentional with my time. Uh, I can become smarter and more well-rounded

Well, two , two recommendations off the bat for you. Okay. One I'm sure you've probably already read , um, which is musings by Marcus Aurelius. W what is it about ,

Huh ? I've read , um, I've, I've read, I think , uh, meditation's the first two or three chapters, and then I put it back and I've regretted that ever . I was like, that's such a good book

Meditations. That's the one I meant.

Yeah . Yeah. Meditations by Marcus a release . Yeah ,

It's really, it's very cool. It's a very talented guy , um, knowledgeable , um , um , would recommend it to anyone in fact , um , cause it's just, it's just good all around knowledge , um, because it's coming from a life of experience rather than anyway. Um, so I think that would be, would be a recommendation, but then just for something completely different, but actually joyous to read would be read, read the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett. Um, although it's , it's completely fictional , um, and at least frictional to the elves and trolls and walls at the star is also has a very , um, moral and interesting outlook on life and things that happened in the disc world. Uh, you know, it's, it's very much like he's holding a mirror to our world. Um, you know, you also get a good laugh, but he's very good at exposing , um, human behaviors and thinking patterns in a way that isn't confrontational because you don't realize it. One of his books is , is all about racism. And this is really interesting because it's all about this with this police officer and how we interact. And all of a sudden he realizes he's racist. Um , but it breaks down in such a cool it's done in a very clever way. I don't know , spoilers , um, and how he, everything suddenly changes in this one moment when he realizes , um, but he's still a really good police officer, you know what I mean? Um, and , and I think it's a really in many respects a way so how he was ahead of his time whilst being very much of the time he was writing as well. Um, and so, and it is also, there's just hilarious. I mean, any book, quite one of the main hub system characters is death and death is a funny, funny character who likes kittens each curries and Coles and his horse Binky. Um , you know , he rides out this is a white horse that he has chosen to call a Binky . Um , and it's just, it's just a very, very funny, clever of , uh , um, and so, yeah, like, I , I don't, you , you choose what you want, but they would be my recommendations to you.

Yeah. I'll give, I'll give him a look. I , um, I must admit for in a strange way, I love coal , but I obviously love it. If I, if I go on TV nine times out of 10, I'll just switch to some sort of comedy channel or if I'm on YouTube comedy. Um, but also I really love , um, anything that really gets the mind ticking . Like I love movies, like , um, interstellar , um, is it inception the one where it's like dreams of inner dream and stuff. Like, I love, I love plots that you have to really sit there and think about like, don't get me wrong. I occasionally obviously through love the, the occasional switch off, watch an action film, you know? Yeah, yeah. You don't need to think, you just need to watch and just kill a couple of hours of time. Um, but yeah, I would much prefer like really intricate plots and various things of that nature. Um, but then again, I also really like going back to the previous book recommendation of , uh, uh, meditations by Marcus Aurelius. I wouldn't say I obviously am not religious, but I think that's the closest I could probably get to a religion stoicism. Absolutely love it. So if you go over , you go onto my Twitter feed. You'll see. I probably retweet the daily stoic every day , big shout show to him. Um, his podcast is also pretty kick-ass um, yeah, it's, it's stoicism for me. Uh, it was a big eye opener actually in that one. I'll not going to go massively into it on, on this episode, but , um, it's definitely well worth a look on . Definitely gets the gears going in the head. Uh, it also just makes me feel really nice. You're you, you listen or you get little snippets every day and your Twitter feed of stoicism. It's like, Oh, that was really nice. I'm feeling better now.

You're more stoic and less than Epicurean.

Oh , I'll see. I wish I was there. I know, I know that there is a little bit of a bit between the two, but I'm not educated enough to comment perhaps after I read meditations, I will be.

Yeah .

But yes, that is something we'll hold each other to account for a a hundred percent agree .

And now our audience can also hold us accountable as well.

100% . Yeah. Well actually here , um, audience, what will you, what challenge will you take on and who will hold you to account do , uh , let us know on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, all the curious Ulsterman and , uh , actually while we're on a Niffin , um , where should the audience go if they want to find out more about you and if you put social media, huh?

I mean, I have, I do have Facebook. I, I visited so rarely, you know , um, I mean, I went to the yesterday to wish everyone, a hootenanny and a happy new year, but the next time I put anything on there might be like September. I mean, I, I used to have a, I used to have an Instagram account, but it just stopped working. Um, no idea why , um, that was just mostly just pictures of me, like steaks had just cooked or a hot sausage is made. Um, so I suppose it's not that I wouldn't be accountable in this because I don't think it's that important, but I suppose at some point this year, I might try and see if I can resurrect it. Um , and just go back to posting nonsense on the Instagrams . Um, I don't really, I don't really get down with Twitter or, you know , the only reason I have this is not, you know, the only reason I really have Facebook is because it's, it's the only platform where there were some friends that I keep keeping true . Then I wouldn't keep intuition in any other way. Um , fair enough . It's not really, it's not an essential part of my life. So apologies. Feel , feel free to hit me up on the, on the Facebooks if you want it . It's just Nathan Sr . Um, you, there were a few of the Nathan CDs. I think my profile pictures me with my beard . So I'm fairly, unless other dependencies youth with a big ginger beers . Um, but don't expect anything particularly amazing or earth shattering for me , I'm afraid .

Uh , so in that case, you probably just better come into the curious Ulsterman and I can, and I can pass on your thoughts and opinions and anything.

I probably, now that I'm actively involved in this podcast, I will check my Facebook more often what it will be just to go and look at y'all .

Well, actually the easiest, easier thing to do is just make your admin , not the curious Altman Facebook page. That'd be a lot easier. Um, yeah, but , uh, yeah, so that's , uh , that's all socials. There's obviously obviously our , um, Twitch as well, which depending on schedules is either first year , Friday. So you can sign up to all these socials and find out when that is. And I think, I think we're probably coming up to the are anyway. I have no idea how long we've been chatting, but it's been fun.

It's been good .

Yeah. So folks, if you have enjoyed our ramblings , quite frankly , um, and our chosen theme do let us know , um, via your preferred social media platform, let us know what you would improve or you loved it or not. And , um, yeah, we're all ears. And , uh, I think the winning other thing is to beg you all and good night and , uh, anything else from you UNIFEM and before we go,

No, it's been great. Thank you very much for having me. Um, and yeah, I'm looking forward to making this thing a regular, then again, hopefully your listeners enjoy it.

Yeah . Um, if there's a FIM for Fabry , you would like us to have a chat boat . Do let me know. And , uh, we'll ramble on about that first week of February and yeah. You know where to find me , uh, it's been an absolute pleasure, everyone. So I will see, you know, day on the socials and , uh, obviously engaging with the podcast as it grows and develops. So from me, our Niffin at the curious Ulsterman thank you very much for tuning in all the best bye . There you go. Folks. That was my conversation with Nathan. If you enjoyed that, then please do subscribe, leave a rating and review. And as I said in the episode, subscribe to all the socials. Glad you could tune in again this week until next time, all the best. Bye

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