April 18, 2024
Turning Compost Into Blooms: Sowing Seeds of Resilience in the Garden of Life's Adversities
Have you ever considered that the messiest parts of life could be the most fertile ground for growth? That's exactly what we dive into on the Empowerment Couple podcast with your hosts, Zuri and Mikey Starr. This week, we're unfurling the concept of compost as more than just decomposed organic matter, but as a powerful metaphor for personal transformation. We share how we turned our own financial setbacks into rich soil for new beginnings and invite you to reflect on how your challenges can serve as pivotal nutrients for your life's greatest blooms.
Embrace your history with pride, even the parts that smell a bit ripe. Our conversation this week ventures into the art of 'celebrating your shit' and learning from the financial missteps that catch us off guard. We recount our journey through the muck and how it led to not just survival, but thriving in both life and business. Beyond our own stories, we pay homage to the age-old wisdom of our elders and their guidance in nurturing growth from life's compost-rich experiences. Their teachings remind us that even in adversity, there's a seed of opportunity waiting to sprout.
Relationships, much like gardens, can weather storms and droughts if tended to with care and dedication. In this episode, we discuss how to fortify your partnership, viewing every setback as an opportunity to enhance the connection rather than a weed to be pulled. We stress the significance of mutual responsibility and growth, whether you're flying solo or navigating the journey with a partner. Our banter will not only entertain but also inspire you to cultivate a more empowered and intertwined existence by tilling the soil of life's challenges and planting seeds for a flourishing future.
Manifest everything you want in your life, using our HoldTheVibe.com course! 5 modules led with audio and video by Mikey and Zuri to help you unlock the magic of manifesting using a simple step-by-step process.
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Chapters
00:00 - Embracing Compost for Personal Growth
05:12 - Turning Shit Into Flowers
20:38 - 'Nurturing Relationships Through Challenges
35:58 - Empowerment Couple Private Coaching Services
Transcript
WEBVTT
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Okay, okay, let me get my scroll real quick.
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Yeah.
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I'll try not to be long winded.
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Hear ye, hear ye, On the 15th of April 2000.
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It's like when somebody says like oh well, tell me about yourself.
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Well, I was born.
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I was born in a barn, just like Jesus.
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And when I was born in that barn, like no, I don't mean like, tell me your life story.
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I mean like what, what?
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What makes you tick?
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Welcome to the Empowerment Couple podcast, where your path to self-mastery expands.
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My co-host is Empowerment Coach Zuri Starr.
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And he's Expansion Coach Mikey Starr.
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Together, we are the.
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Empowerment Couple.
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Our mission is simple to serve you, love, so you can make informed decisions to regain and maintain your personal power.
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We'll take you on a journey to a life filled with purpose, passion and limitless possibilities, while sharing stories of transformation, wellness hacks and healthy habits backed by science and ancient wisdom.
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Plus, we'll keep you entertained with engaging games, banter and funny innuendos along the way.
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Each episode is an exciting blend of education, entertainment and empowerment designed to help you create a mindset to be a magnet for more love, happiness and abundance.
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Together with our special guests.
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We are dedicated to sharing information that empowers you to co-create your most beautiful life.
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So if you're ready to embrace the power within, hit that subscribe button and let's embark on this empowering journey together.
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Yes, yes, for sure.
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I mean, if you are an artist, you understand why you go through the pain that you go through.
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Whatever you go through, you're like, oh, I'm going to turn that into a song.
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Or oh, I'm going to turn that into a piece of art, oh, I'm going to turn that into a stand-up bit, Like.
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If you're an artist of any form, you know that that's important and that's where compost comes in in this time of year.
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Love compost.
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All winter long we have been putting our scraps into a bin and turning it, and every single piece of scrap that we have goes into this compost, right.
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And so this time of year we're like we have all of this great compost.
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Let's turn this compost, also known as shit, okay, and let's bloom some flowers.
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Now, mind you, there's multiple types of compost.
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Right, there's the physical compost.
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Right, you go outside and we have a compost turner and all that stuff.
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But compost could also be extra weight.
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Compost can also be you know, a couple bounce checks in your history.
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And who writes checks anymore.
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But yes, I know what you're talking about, but compost can be anything.
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That is negative shit, you know.
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So today's analogy is all about compost being something that has happened in your life, because none of us are experiencing life without a contrast.
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So compost analogy is your contrast, like your contrast is something that is causing you to expand and become more, and in this analogy we've talked about it a lot about gardening and planting seeds and really like anything that you are looking to grow, and right now, all of us are trying to grow ourselves or aiming to grow ourselves.
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We're all aiming to expand, and Mike is an expansion coach and he can tell you that the only way to expand is to use the compost that comes into your life so that you can bloom flowers.
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Correct.
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Correct so that you can grow a business, so that your seeds have enough nourishment.
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And I would say, as an empowerment coach and a lot working with entrepreneurs and professionals and performance professionals, is that your compost, all those things that happened in your life that were seen as a negative or that were painful or that made you feel a certain way.
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Those are the things that, if you expose them and transmute them, those are the things that are going to have people latch onto you and want to work with you, because they're like if she could get through that, then I can get through that, and if she can turn this into whatever business, multimillion dollar business, because she used the compost rather than just getting buried with it Cause all of us can get buried with it Like, sometimes it's overwhelming, Sometimes it feels like an avalanche of shit landing on you.
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And we've been there, Mike and I have been there, and recently we had this experience and it inspired us to do this episode with you about compost.
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Because recently I had an experience where I was looking to do something financially and I wasn't paying attention to stuff that was happening with my finances and I got mega burned and didn't get what I wanted out of the equation because I got complacent.
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I'm going to call myself out on it and if you listen to our other episode about complacency and your comfort zone, you know like you have to lift the needle and in this case there was so much compost on me that I was like man, this is a lot of shit that I'm going to have to fix.
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I'm going to have to be on customer service calls.
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I'm going to have to be on, you know, disputing things.
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I'm going to have to deal with this fraud, stuff Like wow, this is a lot of shit that I attracted onto my beautiful farm and I'm going to have to rebuild.
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I'm going to have to use it and figure out why not why but I'm going to have to figure out what to do with it.
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And to that I say congratulations.
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Yeah.
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If, if anyone, if you're, if you're sitting on, you know you know some some bad financial decisions.
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If you're sitting on, you know some health related issues.
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If you're sitting on, you know if you can look back at your life and be like, oh, this didn't happen and this didn't happen, this didn't happen and just you know just a nice laundry list of things that are negative.
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Congratulations it means that you have an extremely fertile garden Fertile.
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You have enough leverage.
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You have enough shit, you have enough leverage to make a significant move.
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You just have to use it, you have to transmute it.
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Take that seed analogy like you were talking about.
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You take a seed and you plant it in soil that has no fertilization.
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You're not really going to get a whole lot of of blossoms, right?
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You know that that seed isn't it.
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It doesn't have all the nutrients that it needs to grow into its full potential.
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Those seeds are your ideas.
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Those seeds are your, your versions of yourself, your finances, your relationships that you want to see for yourself.
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Well, if you don't have that, but you have a bunch of shit, right?
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It means, oh, I am poised to get what I want.
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All I have to do is celebrate my shit.
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Yeah, you got to celebrate your shit.
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And I think that, from my wealthiest friends to my friends who are just starting out, or my daughter's friends who are still teenagers whatever Starting out or restarting yeah, starting out or restarting Shit is kind of just experience that we experience in our life that make us expand.
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This is why our elders, not so much in this country but a lot in other countries, are so well-respected, because they have experience, and experience means that they went through some shit.
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They went through some really hard times that helped them become more and that help them just survive.
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Honestly, like there are people who are alive right now, especially like the centurions like that have been through multiple rounds of war, multiple, you know.
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They've been through depressions, they, they have been through some shit.
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Housing crises yes.
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Wars yes, yes.
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Famine Pandemics yeah.
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The list is very, very long, and I think that we are not recognizing how valuable the voices are for our elders, because they really know how to get through some shit and use that shit in order to blossom, to bloom, to be fruitful, and all of us have that opportunity.
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It really just comes down to choosing it.
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Yeah, so we had this experience with a Like I was saying we've had this experience recently.
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With a like.
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I was saying, like we've had this experience recently.
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But in talking with people, young and old, most people have had an experience in even the very, very wealthy, like I said, or the very, very just starting out, and the elders, like people, have had an experience where somebody has scammed them, right, like, we've all had that, and it doesn't make you unique, but it certainly does not make it that there's something wrong with you.
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Correct, and I think that that is the message that is most important to hear when you're going through this is that it's not time to lose self-respect.
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It's not time to lose your self to this shit.
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It's not happening to you.
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It is happening for you.
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For you.
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And that's hard.
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There are things that, for example, like the grief process, when you're like this is happening for me, like what you know and losing our beloved puggle, you know like death, death, death, death, death, right, and I think when I look at those situations I understand like, okay, that was actually happening for me because I needed to change my business structure.
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But I can say that now it took time to get here and we know when somebody's older nobody lives forever we know, like Aries, you're going to die.
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You're going to die, libra, you're going to die.
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But before you die.
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But before you die, and honestly, when somebody you love that has lived a long, beautiful life goes, you often will get kind of like downloads or experiences, or they will inspire the next version of you and it's, I feel like, spiritually speaking, it's a way of them gifting to you some wisdom that you didn't maybe have access to when they were even alive.
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It's like, okay, homeboy, time for you to carry the torch, you know.
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Or like, hey Zuri, time for you to step up and you know, like, live this way.
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It can inspire you and it can not just be, you know, horribly awful.
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What happens right after?
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In my opinion, if you do it correctly, what happens right after you get dumped a bunch of shit is the possibility of sprouting something new inside of you.
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Yeah, you know, for me I'm kind of going back to my shoulder injury, because it was profound.
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You know, having your strong arm suddenly your weak arm, you're like what the heck?
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You know and I'm a balanced person yoga meditation.
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So when half of my body was not working, you know, there was a part of me that was like you know, why is this happening to me?
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Why is this?
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Why is this?
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But I used it right.
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I used it to turn the dial and now my body is healthier than it had been in the last 20 years.
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And in proximity to you.
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I used it to deepen some of my healing ability and I called in different healing devices, and I called in different healing devices and I called in different like healers, and my own ability expanded for healing.
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You know, like there was lots of Reiki, there was lots of like intuitive downloads, and it's like, okay, we need to do this.
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And like, okay, we need to do this, and like just pivoting to be of purpose to your struggle, you know, and like that's that's where, if you allow your partner to be, you know your, your, your VIP when you are down.
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You know, like you allow them to be the star player while you were, like on the bench.
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If you allow that to happen, just see, like, how much you expand by taking.
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You know, kind of like you had to rest, like you had to, you had to take a a more feminine approach to healing, which is really hard as a male, and, like your, your ability to do that, though, made you more balanced, correct, and that's where it is interesting.
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Like life just gives you that, like, oh, we gave you this shit because you actually needed to expand this part of yourself.
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And then once, once I got past that, then I'm looking back at my life and I'm like wait a minute.
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I had I've had the power to do that the whole time.
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I didn't have to wait until I got sick to get healthy.
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I could have just been healthier and even healthier.
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So when you get past one of those scenarios right where you heal yourself or you sprout in a bed of shit or fertilizer, it gives you inspiration to look across your life and be like okay, so I was able to fix this, I'm going to fix this, this and this.
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I'm going to level myself up because Level up?
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Because I'm either moving forward or I'm moving backwards.
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Yeah.
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There's no such thing as pause.
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Okay, so I have a funny game to play with you.
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Okay.
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Okay, so we're going to use the shit and the flower analogy.
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Okay, and I want you to describe short, short description.
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Short description.
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I'll do my best.
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Yeah, I want you to describe three times where you took shit and you turn it into flowers.
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My in and out with corporate was shit.
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Right, my experience with corporate America was shit, and from that experience I blossomed into our current level of living, where I had the opportunity to raise our daughter and-.
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Create your own schedule.
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Create my own schedule, not trying to time for money and rebirth myself based on my skill sets, not on um skill sets that I needed in order to do a mundane job.
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Ooh, I love that.
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That's good, Okay.
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Number two number two I'm going to say health, because health was definitely a um, uh, a major, uh, major player in my everyday activities and being able to go from a place of pain and discomfort to a place of power and flexibility Super nice.
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And then just my third, of course, would be, you know, the good old-fashioned daddy issue that I have Issues, issues Plural, my plural daddy issues.
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But you know, my number one daddy issue, of course, was, you know, the abandonment and not having him around my life To rebrand who I am, because I'm not living any type of pattern laid out from him, because there was no pattern there, right, the only pattern that was there was abandonment.
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So I was able to take that and be part of Zarell's life every single day.
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Our daughter's life.
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Every single day.
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Yep.
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I went from having, yeah, Our daughter's life Every single day, Like you know.
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I went from from having, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's that, it's, it's that you know those shitty things.
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You turned into flowers flowers.
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What about you?
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Um, I could do this.
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I could tell you the three things, or I can tell you three more things to build you up and to fill up your cup, because there's three other things that I actually thought you were going to say, and I think that would be a funnier part of the game.
00:17:34.165 --> 00:17:36.153
Oh, so you have your own list of my fuck ups.
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Well, I, I'm kidding.
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Yeah, I thought you were going to say this, michael.
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Remember when you did this and you fell on your ass?
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Why didn't you say this one?
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Let me see my list.
00:17:51.855 --> 00:17:53.298
No, that's not what I was saying.
00:17:53.765 --> 00:17:57.036
You're talking about keep it light, but you pulled out your own scroll.
00:17:57.904 --> 00:17:59.869
I didn't say keep it light, I said keep it short.
00:17:59.869 --> 00:18:05.294
I mean, we don't go light, we go like you know here's my heaviness Like let's go deep.
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Let's go deep and really dig in this shit and really make flowers.
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This podcast alone right now, what we are doing, talking this way where we are honest and radically willing to put it all out there.
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And serve love.
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And serve love.
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Like that is us digging in the shit to make the flowers, and we hope that it.
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You know, our hope, our concentrated effort of doing these shows, is that you take the shit that we are exposing and maybe you look at some of your shit and then maybe you're like, hey, I could turn that into flowers.
00:18:43.036 --> 00:18:49.311
Like you know, it's starting to sound like a Miley Cyrus song, yeah, but here's three things.
00:18:49.311 --> 00:18:49.874
Here's three things.
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Okay, here's three things that I thought you were going to say so, and no, it's not, because I have a long list of all the things that you've, you know, had done or like no.
00:19:00.970 --> 00:19:01.652
But you do have a list.
00:19:02.113 --> 00:19:04.738
Well, of course, I'm a wife.
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We have lists.
00:19:06.406 --> 00:19:08.672
Okay, don't get it twisted.
00:19:08.672 --> 00:19:25.073
So what I was going to say is that you, I was going to say that you took the issues that you had, for example, with alcohol and you turned it into a yoga practice Correct.
00:19:25.073 --> 00:19:32.428
And you turned the issues that you had with like focus into a meditation practice Correct.
00:19:32.428 --> 00:19:52.696
And you turned the issues that you had with your situation of feeling like you were stuck in some generational bullshit, some, some cycles, and you decided you're going to be a cycle breaker and, in your healing process, help other people heal Correct.
00:19:53.025 --> 00:20:07.836
So those would be three ways that I would say you took shit that was given to you, that you inherited, that you encountered, that you experienced because you needed some compost to create those flowers Correct.
00:20:07.836 --> 00:20:08.998
So that's what I would say.
00:20:08.998 --> 00:20:36.442
I can do my own too, but I just wanted to reflect that that I see you and I appreciate how much you have expanded and how much you have turned a whole bunch of shit into some beautiful flowers which, by the way, btw, mike gives me flowers almost every week which, by the way, btw, mike gives me flowers almost every week and when I do my coaching calls or I'm in sessions with clients for the various businesses, I always have flowers next to me on camera.
00:20:38.847 --> 00:20:39.229
What does Tony say?
00:20:39.229 --> 00:20:43.538
If you do the things in the beginning of the relationship, at the end of the relationship, there's not an end to the relationship.
00:20:43.538 --> 00:20:47.894
Yes, you're my biggest asset, honey.
00:20:48.435 --> 00:20:48.896
You're mine.
00:20:48.896 --> 00:20:56.910
So I'm going to, I'm going to continue planting beautiful seeds in your big pile of shit.
00:20:56.910 --> 00:20:58.511
I was like, oh, where is this going?
00:20:58.511 --> 00:21:03.818
He said planting seeds and I was just like what I'm like?
00:21:03.818 --> 00:21:04.619
Am I ovulating?
00:21:09.326 --> 00:21:11.894
Some of the times where he's like I'm a shit bag.
00:21:11.935 --> 00:21:14.403
Oh, oh, let me grab my seeds real quick.
00:21:14.403 --> 00:21:18.366
Wait a minute, I am not shit, I am not, I am not the pile of shit.
00:21:18.386 --> 00:21:18.827
How did this go there?
00:21:18.827 --> 00:21:20.410
Well, we know I'm talking about when you get woe is me.
00:21:20.410 --> 00:21:21.392
When I get woe is me.
00:21:21.392 --> 00:21:31.813
When I get woe is me, the very first thing that you do, I feel like your finger is just like pushing seeds into my soul, like, oh, oh, oh, you feel bad about yourself.
00:21:31.813 --> 00:21:36.113
Boom, boom, boom, boom, and then as a what are the seeds?
00:21:36.345 --> 00:21:37.449
Well, give me an example.
00:21:37.509 --> 00:21:50.191
That doesn't sound very good the seeds are like you can make a lot of money doing this, or you can be very happy doing this, or, you know, if you stopped beating yourself up on a regular basis, you're going to experience this.
00:21:50.191 --> 00:21:57.672
And at the time as you're shoving your finger in my self-loathing, I'm like no, get your fingers out of there.
00:22:02.211 --> 00:22:04.316
But, within a couple of hours, you're like oh, what is this?
00:22:04.316 --> 00:22:08.111
It's like is this movement Like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa?
00:22:08.111 --> 00:22:10.974
I didn't know, I could be a little bit happier today.
00:22:10.974 --> 00:22:12.130
Like, oh, okay.
00:22:12.484 --> 00:22:14.411
So you're saying you need a safe word?
00:22:15.012 --> 00:22:15.575
A safe word.
00:22:15.575 --> 00:22:16.911
There's no such thing as safe words.
00:22:17.204 --> 00:22:28.008
You said you're sticking your fingers here and you're sticking them like what would be your safe word Zeo Maxi Wombdweebee.
00:22:28.008 --> 00:22:28.996
Oh, I can't say that, Come on.
00:22:30.527 --> 00:22:33.570
Super Califragilistic Expealadocious.
00:22:33.611 --> 00:22:36.384
Supercalifragilistic Expealadocious.
00:22:36.384 --> 00:22:47.205
Oh yeah, Okay, that's our safe word, oh yeah, okay, supersonic.
00:22:47.205 --> 00:22:48.490
Supersonic.
00:22:48.490 --> 00:22:51.757
Yeah, let's just have it be that.
00:22:54.648 --> 00:22:59.909
So sometimes when you're, when you're digging in my shit, you're, you're not, you're not, you're not digging in it, you're just planting.
00:23:00.651 --> 00:23:05.695
Yeah, and I would say that you and I have had what we're doing right now the banter.
00:23:05.695 --> 00:23:12.776
We haven't stopped giving each other shit in terms of like messing with each other in a banter way since we met.
00:23:12.776 --> 00:23:18.820
So, going back to do the things that you know worked in your relationship in the beginning.
00:23:18.820 --> 00:23:29.730
Don't stop doing them, because you'll never have an end if you continue to carry those out, and most of us do get complacent and most of us don't use the things that happen to our relationship as compost.
00:23:29.730 --> 00:23:46.433
I know plenty of relationships that have had the worst things that can happen in a relationship where there was infidelity or fraud or divorce and they have figured out how to actually use those things and turn them into something Correct, and so the choice is yours.
00:23:47.075 --> 00:23:59.157
By the way, as you're dealing with your own shit your own fertilizer be very careful not to take your fertilizer and put it to someone else's garden bed.
00:23:59.157 --> 00:24:02.251
Right, Keep your own shit, it's valuable.
00:24:02.532 --> 00:24:02.752
Yeah.
00:24:02.772 --> 00:24:11.375
Right, don't try to offset, don't try to blame your shit on someone else, yep, because it's literally removing your potency yep right.
00:24:11.615 --> 00:24:14.287
So if you have shitty things in your past, own them.
00:24:14.287 --> 00:24:17.334
Those are yours, protect them, transmute that.
00:24:17.334 --> 00:24:23.737
Don't try to take your shit and put it in someone else and be like oh you know, you're the reason for this and you're the reason for this.
00:24:23.737 --> 00:24:24.929
That doesn't work.
00:24:24.929 --> 00:24:26.693
It doesn't transmute.
00:24:26.693 --> 00:24:36.440
The same way it may empower your partner to transmute twice as much as you and then you're left behind.
00:24:36.440 --> 00:24:41.410
So your shit is your fertilizer.
00:24:41.410 --> 00:24:47.336
It's going to allow you to grow at a level that is right for you at the time.
00:24:47.917 --> 00:24:58.978
Yeah, and you know your, your partner, is going to be a reflection of you, unless you drift apart and then you separate.
00:24:58.978 --> 00:25:18.925
Because oftentimes what I'm experiencing in working with like couples and you know clients who end up inadvertently telling me all about their relationships is that you have the ability to grow together or grow apart.
00:25:18.925 --> 00:25:45.393
And when you start blaming the other person for anything negative that's happened in your life that's the example of what Mike is saying Like in real talk terms when you blame your partner for why you are not being successful in any area of your life or you blame the relationship, you are literally taking whatever shit that has been gifted to you and you're putting it.
00:25:45.393 --> 00:25:46.935
You're not using it.
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