The player is loading ...
Sign up to get updates from us
In a very special episode, Leanna interviews her own mom (!!), her biggest supporter and #1 fan of this podcast. Michele Laskey has devoted the past 41 years of her life to motherhood and being an unwavering supporter, friend, and teacher of her three daughters and now 4 grandchildren. They discuss her unique journey, from the perspective of a mom with three grown children – what she’s learned, what she’s proud of, what she’d do differently, and her legacy. Throughout the conversation, you’ll hear and feel the love between mother and daughter. You’ll also hear cameos from the most important kids in Leanna’s life – her daughter, nieces, and nephews. Happy Mothers’ Day to all the moms out there doing the very hard work and making the world a better place!
Full transcript here.
Connect with Leanna here.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 0:08
Welcome to the executive coach for moms podcast where we support women who are attempting to find balance and joy while simultaneously leading people at work and at home. I'm your host Leanna Laskey McGrath, former tech exec turned full time mom, recovering perfectionist and workaholic, and certified executive coach.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 0:30
Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for tuning in. And welcome to this Mother's Day special. We're going to interrupt our regularly scheduled programming of the Transition to Motherhood series for today's episode. Moms make the world go round, we take care of our families, we keep track of everything going on in our kids and families lives, we're often the breadwinners, we're doing so many different things. And I think it's really important to stop and let ourselves be appreciated every once in a while, hopefully, more than once a year.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 1:06
I know that Mother's Day can be really tough for a lot of us as well, when we have complicated relationships with our mothers, if we've lost our mothers, if we are struggling and trying so hard to become mothers, I know Mother's Day was really tough for me for several years because of that. So I just want to acknowledge and send love to anyone who's having a tough time, this Mother's Day for any reason. And I also want to acknowledge and send love to all the moms out there doing so much to make the world a better place in your homes, in your communities, in your workplaces. Thank you so much for everything you do.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 1:48
I have a very special lineup. For this Mother's Day special. I am interviewing my mom. I had to kind of beg her to come on the podcast. And I'm so excited to share this episode. I feel really, really fortunate to have such an amazing mom. I mean, she sets the bar really high. She's incredibly supportive. And she's been there for me through the many different seasons over the course of my life. She's seen me at my best, and she's seen me at my worst, and she's loved me all the way through. She's my best friend. And we talk every day. And we have throughout my whole life. I grew up here in the Pittsburgh area, Western PA, and I moved away for 20 years and just moved back about three years ago. And throughout that entire time, we remained really close, we still talked every day. She's always been my rock and kind of that steady anchor that I can always come back to. And I just appreciate her so much. So I cannot wait for you to hear from her and hear about her story and her perspective on a motherhood journey that dates back to the 80s.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 3:00
And before we hear from her, I'd like to share a little special treat. I have cameos from all the most important kids in my life, my daughter, my nieces and my nephews, ranging in age from two to eighteen which I thought would be really fun to share. They're telling me what they love about their moms and sending Happy Mother's Day wishes. And it's just so sweet to hear. I think it's important to remember that these kids love us even with our imperfections. And I don't know about you, but it's helped me to learn unconditional love for myself as well. And I know, especially as they get older, they don't always show how much they appreciate us. But they really do. And I love hearing from them and asking them about why they love their mom and appreciate their mom. I hope it's a reminder to all the moms out there about what a positive impact you're having on the next generation. So Happy Mother's Day everyone, enjoy.
Liliana 3:58
She is very helpful. She's beautiful. She's there for people. She's selfless.
Evelyn 4:05
Molly hug me and and and kiss me.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 4:09
Hhe hugs you and kisses you.
Adela 4:11
She's kind and she's funny. She helps me when I'm learning new things.
Vionno 4:18
Thank you for all you've done for me. I am glad that I get to talk to you on the phone being up at campus that always brings a smile on my face. I love you so much
Liliana 4:27
Is really kind she makes sure that everyone around her is okay.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 4:34
What's your favorite thing that your mom does for you?
Evelyn 4:38
I get the present.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 4:40
She gets you presents?
Evelyn 4:41
Pink
Leanna Laskey McGrath 4:42
Pink presents.
Adela 4:43
She goes to the trampoline park and play together. Ninja and kiwico
Liliana 4:49
She makes me feel like I can be myself. She makes me feel happy. Like I can do anything. She always tells me I'm awesome. I'm beautiful. And she makes me feel like I'm the best person and the best thing that's ever happened to her. I mean, of course I am.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 5:09
What's your favorite thing to do with mommy?
Evelyn 5:11
Dance to music.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 5:12
Dance to music? Oh, that is fun.
Adela 5:16
She gives me hugs and kisses. It makes me feel happy.
Vionno 5:20
Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Thank you for always being there for me loving me supporting me.
Alyssa 5:25
Hey, Jameson. Why do you love your mommy?
Jameson 5:27
Because I do!
Evelyn 5:30
Happy Mo- birthday.
Liliana 5:32
Happy Mother's Day to you, Mom and Happy Mother's Day to all of you mothers out there.
Adela 5:37
Happy Mother's Day.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 5:38
Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Mother's Day special of the executive coach for moms podcast. I am so excited to be here with all of you and introduce the most special guest I've ever had on the podcast. My very own mom is here with me today. And she listens to my podcast religiously and has finally agreed to be a guest with me on the podcast for this Mother's Day special. So Hi, Mommy.
Michele Laskey 6:19
Hi, Leanna.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 6:20
You don't call me that?
Michele Laskey 6:23
Should I call you Nana roo?
Leanna Laskey McGrath 6:26
No, I guess you can call me Leanna today.
Michele Laskey 6:28
Okay.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 6:29
So I love hearing people's stories. As you know, if you listen to my podcast, memoir is my favorite genre of book. And I love having women on here to share their stories. And I am most interested in hearing my mom's story. So we're gonna hear my mom's story today, which is really special to me. And I can't wait. So Mom, can you say hi to everybody and introduce yourself and just kind of tell us a little bit about you.
Michele Laskey 7:03
Hi, everybody. My name is Michelle and I am Leanna's mom. I am the mother of three girls actually. And three granddaughters and one grandson. Before I became a mom. I was social worker and I worked with physically and mentally handicapped people. And then I became a mom and decided to stay home with Leanna because after I had her I was not prepared for the overwhelming feeling of love and protectiveness. And I had had my job set up so that I would go back part time. And I was able to bring her with me to the office. But after doing that for a couple of weeks, I decided that it wasn't for me and that I just wanted to be home with her all of the time. And so I trained someone to take over my position and became a stay at home mom.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 8:00
Yeah, I was just so irresistible.
Michele Laskey 8:04
Yes, you were.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 8:05
So lovable.
Michele Laskey 8:07
I'm sure that you and everyone else out there can relate to those overwhelming feelings that you get when you have your first baby and you hold that baby for the first time and you just want to cuddle all the time.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 8:19
Yeah. So had you always planned on motherhood as part of your life path? Like was that something that you had always wanted for yourself?
Michele Laskey 8:33
Yes, I always wanted children. And I always thought that I would have three children. And it would be two girls and then a boy. And my third pregnancy I had a miscarriage. And I think that was my boy because my next pregnancy resulted in another daughter.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 8:51
So when you were like a little kid did you and my aunts and Uncle play babies and house a lot?
Michele Laskey 8:58
We did play house a lot. Not with my brother but with my sisters. And hey, my brother's nine years older than me. So I I really don't think he was too much into that at that point. But yeah, I did. And then I my favorite girl's name back then was Lisa. And I always was supposed to have a daughter named Lisa. But then when I had you I didn't want the name Lisa anymore. You were kind of a combination of my mom's middle name was Lee. My confirmation name is Anna. So we kind of put them together and you became Leanna. And then we decided that we would use our first names as our first daughter and first son if we had one, their middle name and so you became Leanna Michele and I never did have a boy to use my husband's middle name so we just used his initials by the time we had our third child and we knew that there weren't going to be any more I said, why don't we just use your initials which were LLL, and so we named our daughter with those three beginning letters. Then it became confusing, though. When the mail came and there were LLL's. Was it for him or for her, but it worked out.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 10:15
So you went to college?
Michele Laskey 10:18
Yes.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 10:19
At IUP.
Michele Laskey 10:20
Yes.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 10:20
And studied sociology and criminology, right?
Michele Laskey 10:23
Yes.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 10:24
So I could never lie because you always knew.
Michele Laskey 10:28
Well, I always said I was a trained observer. So I could figure those things out pretty easily.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 10:33
What made you want to study that? Like, why were you interested in those topics?
Michele Laskey 10:38
Well, I was interested in criminology, because I thought that I would become, I would go into the prisons and rehabilitate the prisoners and make a better world for everybody. And then when I realized that that was an unrealistic goal, I added sociology to it. And my first job offering was working with handicapped people. And that's how I got into that route.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 11:06
So was that kind of your plan, then first, you were going to rehabilitate
Michele Laskey 11:10
Prisoners?
Leanna Laskey McGrath 11:13
And then you decided to work with folks from a sociology perspective. So you didn't have me until you were 28? Or 29? Right?
Michele Laskey 11:21
Right. 28.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 11:21
What was that time like for you like those kind of, I guess, six years between? You were done with college, and then, and having me?
Michele Laskey 11:31
Well, those were very fun filled years.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 11:33
Sorry.
Michele Laskey 11:36
I concentrated on, you know, building my career, there's no need to apologize, they just got better and better after I had you.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 11:43
Oh.
Michele Laskey 11:45
But um we moved around a few times, I really enjoyed what I was doing. When I had you, I was working for the Association for Retarded Citizens in Baltimore, Maryland area. And I really enjoyed it. It was kind of tough giving it up and I had the feelings of, Am I How am I gonna deal with social isolation? Yeah, having worked full time, and then being home all the time with a baby. But my days got filled up very rapidly taking care of you. And I really enjoyed it. So it really didn't become an issue.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 12:20
What was that transition like for you? Was it hard at first, the social isolation? And you said, you know, you really liked your career a lot and loved what you were doing, so did you miss it a lot?
Michele Laskey 12:35
I did. And it was, the social isolation was an adjustment period. And especially because, you know, I wasn't prepared at the time really, that I was going to give up my job. And when I did tell my supervisor that I was going to be leaving, she informed me that her and the powers that be, were discussing this huge promotion for me. So that would have been awesome. And that was a little bit of an adjustment. But I was just so mesmerized by this tiny little human that I was holding and nurturing every day that that time passed quickly. And it was just a lot of fun.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 13:19
Yeah, maybe this is hard coming from me. But like, do you have any regrets about passing up that promotion and kind of stepping away from your career?
Michele Laskey 13:30
No, not at all. There were times throughout the years of being home. You know, with my three children, that, you know, I thought about going back to work. My plan at the time, was that after the three of you were in school, I would go back and get my master's degree, and then go back to work. But as time passed, and I became busier and busier with your lives and the activities that you all were in, that never really came to fruition. But I didn't. I can't say that I regret it, I have regrets about my choices now.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 14:04
Yeah. What was it like? So you? Obviously, it was just you and me for, well and dad, obviously. But it was just you and me at home for a little bit over two and a half years. And then another sister came along, and then a few years later, another one. So like, what was it like having one versus two versus three? Were those like big changes?
Michele Laskey 14:27
They were when I had my second daughter, Alyssa. We had moved from Maryland to Ohio before that happened. It was different, of course, having a second child. But by that time I had reunited with one of my very good friends from college who lived in the same area. So there wasn't quite the, you know, isolation that I had in Maryland, because we got together on a regular basis and she had a daughter who was between your age and Alyssa's age. So, you know, like we would get together and the three of you would play a lot. I wouldn't say it was a hard transition, it was a busy time, the hard part about it was that she didn't sleep well at night. And so, you know, I was like trying to take care of you like a three year old and having a baby, you know, an infant at the same time. So that probably was one of the most difficult aspects of it.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 15:27
Yeah. And then once she was around three, you added another infant.
Michele Laskey 15:31
Yes.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 15:33
To the mix and moved again.
Michele Laskey 15:34
Yes, we were in a different location, then also. So by the time I had our third daughter, Laura, we were back in this area, which is where all of our family was. So we spent a lot of time with our family. And that was really good. We had some help with people that we knew and trusted prior to that, like, one of the reasons why I left my job with you is because I couldn't imagine leaving you with a stranger. And we really didn't know anybody in the area that I knew well enough and trusted to take care of you. So that was a game changer when we moved back to this area. Because with having the three of you if you know, I needed to take one of you to appointments or lessons or whatever, you know, I was able to get some help.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 16:21
So was it harder? With three? I'm just curious, because obviously, I only have one. And I can't imagine having more than one and managing all that. And of course, I'm sure many of our listeners have one or two or three or more. I guess I'm just curious, like what it was like for you. You know, this is like your full time job, your full time focus. Was it then harder having a third one and trying to manage three? Or was it easier because by that point you like knew what you were doing and so it felt like I've got this no problem, I've done this twice already? Like what was it like for you having three little ones like under six?
Michele Laskey 17:02
I think comfort came from knowing that you weren't as fragile by that point by time you have your third child and you realize that they're just not as fragile as what you feel like it is with your first one. And also because at that point, you were five years old. And you loved to play school by that point, having been to preschool, and so you played a lot with your middle sister Alyssa while I took care of the baby. So that really was very helpful. You're kind of like a built in babysitter, Leanna.
Michele Laskey 17:35
Well you're welcome.
Michele Laskey 17:38
Thank you. And you did a great job.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 17:41
Yeah, my free babysitting, geez. Be waiting for my check.
Michele Laskey 17:44
You were a leader way back then.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 17:47
Yeah, well, I think lots of oldest children probably can relate to that.
Michele Laskey 17:53
Firstborn, yeah.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 17:54
Yeah.
Michele Laskey 17:55
I suppose that's why historically firstborn children are generally leaders.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 18:02
Yeah.
Michele Laskey 18:02
That might be, it might attribute to it
Leanna Laskey McGrath 18:04
We get lots of practice early on.
Michele Laskey 18:06
Definitely.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 18:08
So I'm curious as we are growing up what was your favorite time with us in terms of like ages was it whenever we were really really little? Was it whenever we were teenagers and having lots of opinions? Like what was your favorite time?
Michele Laskey 18:25
Well, I'd have to scratch teenagers, but my, my very favorite age and and that remains true with my grandchildren is like 18 months when everyone's starting to talk and you can see a personality, interesst are starting to come through. So that's always been a very favorite time. I loved it when each of you went into like kindergarten first grade and you know, started learning things and come home and share things that were exciting to you.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 18:58
I think these are the things that are so interesting. One of the one of the things I do for Adela is like I write her letters. And I will just tell her about like things about my experience because I would love her to read these when if she's ever a mother, but also things about her because I think it's so fascinating to like hear these little tidbits about ourselves that we don't remember. I mean, I only remember this because you've told me a bunch of times. But I think it's so cool to kind of like piece together, you know, our personalities and like how our personalities develop over time. So you go ahead and tell the shoe story.
Michele Laskey 19:40
Well, on the first day of kindergarten when Leanna came home, I asked her about her day and about meeting new kids and you know what she liked and she she told me what color shoes everybody in the classroom was wearing. So we still laugh about I'd like to this day and you know, like anytime that she's been in a new situation throughout her life, I would say, Well, did anyone have the brown shoes on? So this is kind of a family joke.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 20:12
What color were their shoes? Yeah, and it's funny because I didn't turn out to be like a shoe-a-holic or anything.
Michele Laskey 20:19
That's right, I really thought you would. Yeah, yeah. But you're very practical in that respect. Although that may not be true, because you do have quite a few pair of shoes. You do.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 20:34
So you loved 18 months, you loved when we were starting school.
Michele Laskey 20:39
I did, I can't say that there were any other like, favorite times, I just really enjoyed watching each of you grow, and seeing your interests develop. And it's amazing. You know, we've said this repeatedly, how you all grew up in the same household with the same rules with the same parents, and how all three of you are so different. You're all, you know, have your unique individual aspects about your personality. And so that's really cool, getting to watch your child grow like that.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 21:12
What was it like having three very different children? Did you use the same parenting for us all, like something worked and then worked across the board? Or like you had to like, change it up for all of us?
Michele Laskey 21:27
Oh, there are definitely some changes based on personalities, and based on each person's strengths and needs, I don't think that you could have everything be the same for any amount of children at the same time, because they each have different needs. So yes, you know, there were some changes. And unfortunately, not all of your children were happy with those changes if something changed for one child that was different for them.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 21:57
Well, yeah, because you used the strictest approach on your oldest. And then you were like, they're not as fragile now. And we know that now. So we don't have to do that. And I was like, why are they going out on school nights? Or why did they get to do this, and I didn't, and why is it okay, if they get a B? And I got grounded?
Michele Laskey 22:18
Exactly. So those were challenging times having to answer all those questions. You weren't supposed to notice all those things, Leanna. No, but that's an example of each individual needs. And obviously, though, we probably were more strict with you just because you were our first and we were testing the waters, so to speak. But I think you turned out all right. I think all three of you did. I mean, we have three amazing, successful children. So I think our approach with each of you must have worked.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 22:54
Yeah. Yeah. What was your least favorite age for all of us?
Michele Laskey 22:59
For all three of you, it was ninth grade. It was amazing. A lot of challenges came with ninth grade. I don't know why. Three also was a challenging year. People, I always say this, you know this, but people always say that about the terrible twos. But for us, it was more the horrible threes. And I'm finding that actually, you know, with your niece who stays with me during the week while her mom and dad work, and she's approaching three, and it's becoming more challenging. So it just must be a magical age in our family. Ninth grade I think because there's so much peer pressure. And, you know, I understand the peer pressure starting earlier and earlier these days. And the bullying, like we didn't have to deal with bullying as much as what is prevalent, I think, nowadays with the social media and everything. But ninth grade was hard because of the peer pressure. And just seeing some of the things that other kids were doing that, you know, your very strict parents didn't want you doing. It was challenging.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 24:08
Yeah, I think ninth grade for me was when I was like, I will just wanted to like rebel like, I don't want to keep following these rules. But then I calmed down. I don't know why.
Michele Laskey 24:19
Yes, you did. By the end of ninth grade, all three of you did. I mean, I think it's just a year of independence. Like you just want to test out the waters a little bit more during, for your independence. And when I look back on my own life, ninth grade was the year that I was probably most challenging for my parents.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 24:36
Yeah. So we have that to look forward to.
Michele Laskey 24:38
Yes, you do.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 24:41
So you said you have three very different but very successful kids. And we're all grown up now in our 30s and 40s. And so, looking back on the experience, because this is obviously you know what you've chosen as your life's work. What are you most proud of about it?
Michele Laskey 25:00
I'm most proud that I am giving the rural three amazing individuals who are major contributors and loving responsible humans. And I'm also very proud that I kept you all alive all this time. I just remember when Adela turned one, you were so excited that you kept this human being alive for a whole year.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 25:25
I don't remember that time, I wasn't sleeping.
Michele Laskey 25:29
Yeah, you were like, it's her first birthday. And you know, we've kept this little girl alive all this time. So here you are all three of you still alive and well. Part of my legacy with that is that I am very proud of, I raised, three daughters that have awesome shopping skills.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 25:49
The most important thing of all.
Michele Laskey 25:51
No, it's not the most important thing at all. But it is pretty important when you think about it. With finances and all. But yeah, all three of you have become very intelligent, reasonable shoppers in terms of managing your finances?
Leanna Laskey McGrath 26:06
Yes. Anytime I would go shopping, I always would like to add up how much I would have spent and how much I actually spent because of the deals I got. And then tell you and Dad, but Dad doesn't seem to be quite as proud of that. Because he would say, if you didn't spend the money, then you wouldn't have saved.
Michele Laskey 26:26
That's right. And he would say that. Yeah. But ironically enough, he's very proud of himself. Now that he has become a better shopper and looking at prices and comparing. But I think part of it with all three of you is that I was very conscientious about when you wanted something I would say, well, let's wait till it went on sale. And then when it went on sale, I would, you know, let you know it was on sale, and let's go get it now. So, you know, and I think that's one thing that's extremely important in parenting is that you always hold true to your word, if you tell your child that something's going to happen, then it you should definitely make it happen. And I think that consequently, all three of you, like I didn't have a lot of problem with whining, we're just going to wait until that goes on sale. And you accepted that readily, because you knew it would happen when it went on sale.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 27:22
Yeah. On that note, what other things would you say as a veteran mother, kind of looking back, like, what are some things that were strategies that you use, that you feel really good about? You know, that you feel like, if I were to go back and do it again, I would definitely want to do that again? Or if I were giving parenting advice, that is something I would recommend?
Michele Laskey 27:46
I think one of the things that was a goal for me was for you each to become very independent people. And your dad always tells me that the reason that you went off to California after college was because I gave you so much independence when you were two picking out your own clothes. And I really did start that early. And I do think that it's very important to teach your children to, you know, make those choices. And the earlier the better, because they become independent people way back when you wanted to have pizza for dinner one night, and I said, Okay, call and order it. And you didn't want to call and order it because you were a little bit shy. And I said, Well, you know, if you want the pizza, you have to call and order it. So you did, and you had pizza. And I think it's a skill building tool, to help your children to become as independent as they can possibly be. I would say that was one thing, along with, as I said earlier, always following through on the promises that I would make to you. And I think also just being really involved. You know, you chose to have a child, so you should be involved in their lives and guide them as much as you possibly can. Be there to support them in any endeavor that they choose, whether it's something that you want them to be doing, or if it's a choice that they made that you wouldn't have chosen for them. It's just really important to be there to support them and love them and guide them.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 29:18
That was really beautifully said. And I feel like that's something that yins are always really good at doing for us.
Michele Laskey 29:24
Thank you.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 29:25
Although it was certainly clear when you didn't agree.
Michele Laskey 29:30
You mean when I tried to guide you to make a better choice?
Leanna Laskey McGrath 29:36
Yeah, I was thinking different choice. But yeah. Yes. So I want to know also what you wouldn't recommend, but first, I'm very interested in, you know, as you're talking about kind of helping your children to gain independence. And then you know, when I went off to California, one of the things that I have heard, I think Reese Witherspoon said It, is that Motherhood is practice in letting go, how did you do that? We all moved far away.
Michele Laskey 30:09
You all move far away. And as I said, that was my fault. Because I let you choose your clothes when you were two. It was difficult, you know, as you know, when you first went to undergrad and West Virginia, I cried the entire way their entire way home and, and Dad would like say it's okay, she's gonna be okay. And I was, I know she's gonna be okay, but I'm gonna miss her. You know, and then Alyssa chose to go to Rhode Island, Laura went to North Carolina. So I think that you just the letting go process is, I think somewhat similar to a grieving process, because it was so exciting to see the choices that you made, and to see you growing and pursuing what you wanted to do in life. But at the same time, it was a kind of a grieving process of like you not being home anymore. And you know, not being able to have that every day contact, which back when you went to school were the days of Instant Messaging. So that really helped a lot. Because you know, you're always just a computer away. You know, when I was in college, and I was very homesick, we had a phone available to us on Sunday nights, that we would stand in line in our hall. And we would have to call home and put our quarters in to talk to our parents. So I think that without Instant Messaging and cell phones, it would have been much more difficult. And a lot of the times, it didn't seem like you're as far away as what you were because, you know, I was still so involved in your life, being able to talk to you every day and hearing everything that you're doing. You know, what shoes people are wearing.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 31:56
Yeah, and probably for kids now, I mean, they can video chat, and
Michele Laskey 32:00
Exactly.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 32:01
Hopefully by the time Adela goes to college, there'll be like, you know, we can do like virtual reality and be sitting together in the same room or something.
Michele Laskey 32:10
Seriously, you probably will. Although you have said that when she goes to college, you're going to move to wherever she goes to college. So we'll see what happens.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 32:19
We'll see if she's in agreement with that. Yeah, seriously.
Michele Laskey 32:23
No, it really I mean, it's exciting to watch your child grow and have those experiences. And, you know, I think that makes the letting go process easier.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 32:34
Yeah, I feel like it would be hard to be like grieving one child, but also parenting, another child or two other children. How did you balance that?
Michele Laskey 32:44
You know, by that time, they were old enough that they had activities that kept me busy. And I you know, wanted to make sure that I was there to support them. And they understood that I was sad about you leaving and they were also sad about you leaving, I mean, it wasn't only me that it affected, although sometimes it felt like it was the most horrible thing that could happen. Yeah, and then I would just try to reserve my crying for when I was in bed at night, on the days that I felt like I really needed a good cry. I tried not to, for the most part, let them see that because I wanted to show them that them going off was a positive experience. And so I didn't want them to when the time came for them to leave. I didn't want them to feel like they couldn't go and enjoy themselves. Because oh my gosh, Mom's gonna be home crying all the time.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 33:35
I think one of the things that I appreciate about you and dad is like, whenever we kind of became adults, you became like real people. Not that you weren't our parents anymore, but it felt like you showed us your real selves a little bit more. And I guess I'm curious, like, as we grew up, became adults, like, what was that like for you? Because I know what it was like for me, but like, what was it like for you to kind of experience us that way and then be able to be different? I don't know if that was like a conscious decision, you know, of like, Oh, now we can show them our real selves, not just our parents, you know what I mean?
Michele Laskey 34:18
I do know what you mean. But I don't think there was ever a conscious decision about that. I think it just became that, you know, as we recognized that you were adults, and you know, we had more adult conversations. We weren't parenting you so to speak. You know, you were independent and we knew you could take care of yourself. I always, all three of you, trusted your judgment when you would pursue things. You know, I knew that you were all intelligent enough and wise enough that you investigated things thoroughly before you made a decision so it made me feel more comfortable with that. And so I guess that as you became adults and we spoke to you more in an adult manner is, I never thought about that. But you know, as what you just described, it just happened. The evolution.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 35:09
Yeah, was there anything that you did to kind of instill that in us? Like you said, we always would research things, we would, you know, make sure that we were making good decisions, and you felt confident about that. Like, is there like, how did we learn that did we just all like magically have that? Or is there anything that you and Dad did?
Michele Laskey 35:30
Well, as you know, I firmly believe that children learn what they live. And I think that you saw Dad and I model that behavior. Anytime there were any decisions to be made, I think you all saw me research extensively, you know, before I would make that decision, right down to maybe what television shows, you know, you're watching. So I think it's just children learn what they live in, you model that behavior.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 35:59
Yeah. So going back to earlier, I asked you about what things were things that you would recommend or that you would do again, in terms of parenting? Is there anything that you would do differently? Looking back on the last 41 years of parenting and life decisions and things like that? And is there anything that you would want to go back and, if you could go back and do differently?
Michele Laskey 36:24
You mean, like, not let you pick out your own clothes when you were two, so you didn't move to California? Rhode Island and.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 36:31
Maybe.
Michele Laskey 36:33
No, the only thing I think that I would do differently was concentrate a little bit more on Financial Planning and Investment. I think that when just a simple little thing, like birthday money or babysitting money, or when you started, you know, you were 16, and you had your jobs, I probably would have tried to guide you more into investing, you know, like putting that money in the bank and teach you investment skills. I think that's that really is the biggest thing that I would change or do differently. I think that you all turned out all right, you're all you know, like, amazing, and you're good people, I am proud to have raised, good people with good values that are responsible and loving and caring toward other people.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 37:21
Well, two things. One, what's ironic is that just last night, we had a babysitter come so that we could do some financial planning, so don't worry.
Michele Laskey 37:33
So I didn't really miss out on that.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 37:38
And then secondly, I think, you know, kind of going back to what I was talking about earlier, with us, being adults and our relationships changing, I think what is really cool, is how close we all are to you, right? Like both of my sisters, and I would all say that you're our best friend. And we talk to you regularly, you know, even wdhen I was in across the country in California, or in Florida, or in Texas, or West Virginia, or wherever I was living in and my sisters too. I mean, it's like we we talk almost every day or every week at the longest. And that feels really long. And so, and also, we're so different, all of us. And so, from your perspective, what that's like for you of like having those relationships with us, you know, now that we are adults, and also kind of maintaining those relationships with three very different people at very different distances away from you.
Michele Laskey 38:38
Well, first of all, while I'm there, I feel very blessed and very grateful that I do have the such close relationships with all three of you. I know of some people who don't even speak to their children once a month, you know, so I'm very grateful that we do have such a close relationship. And I think that with the three of you being so different, it just makes it more interesting for me, because you know, you each do things that the other one might not choose to do. I just think that it's very interesting to talk to three different people who have three different completely different lives and hear your stories and be a part of that. I'm very grateful.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 39:19
Yeah.
Michele Laskey 39:20
Yeah. makes it interesting. If you're all three the same, I wouldn't have that variety.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 39:25
You'd just talk to one of us.
Michele Laskey 39:26
Right? Okay. Yes, I would rotate your weekly.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 39:32
Give me the update for all of you.
Michele Laskey 39:33
No, I talk to you all pretty, you know, like, most daily basis, so I appreciate that very much.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 39:41
Yeah. Now you have grandchildren. What has the grandparent experience been like for you like doing it all over again, sort of, but from a totally different perspective and age. What does that experience been like for you?
Michele Laskey 39:56
It's interesting, because a lot of things have changed since I raised the three of you. And yet some things are the same. Like, I still try to teach core values, you know, like, I think it's very important to be a good person. So that's the same with, you know, like my grandchildren. It's different, because, you know, like, I have a fourth grader now. So things are definitely starting at a younger age. Like I mentioned before the bullying at a younger age, social media. I mean, she's got kids in her class that bring cell phones, you know, and I would never, ever have had you had a cell phone when you were 10 years old. So
Leanna Laskey McGrath 40:42
I don't think they had cell phones when I was 10 years old.
Michele Laskey 40:46
Actually, oh, my gosh, honey you're aging yourself.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 40:49
I know.
Michele Laskey 40:50
I don't think they did.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 40:51
I had that little flip phone when I turned 16 to like take that I was allowed to take with me when I was driving.
Michele Laskey 40:58
Yes. And I still think that that's a reasonable age to begin having a phone, although we didn't have like school shootings back when you were in school. So just in that respect, I think having a phone would be a good idea. So you could call for help if you need it. When I was raising you three, we didn't have sleep training, or baby led weaning or gentle parenting, we just parented the best that we could. So those terms are all different now. And it's interesting, because as different as each of you are you also parent different. So when I'm with each of your children, I have to incorporate some of those three things I just identified into my mimi'ing, my grandparenting.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 41:48
Depending on which kid that you have.
Michele Laskey 41:50
Which child, yeah, so that kind of keeps me on my toes. And is interesting.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 41:55
Yeah, how do you remember all of it? That's a lot to keep track of.
Michele Laskey 42:01
Blessed with a good memory. I think I, I think because I was so involved with each of you throughout your lives. And each grade, you all had different friends. And I had to keep track of friends. And then when you started working, you know, like learning your coworkers and all of that. So it just kind of flows from there.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 42:19
Yeah, I think about how grandma used to always say that the best years of her life were whenever she was home, and the kids were young, the four of you were young. But then I'm kind of like, what about whenever I was little and you used to watch me?
Michele Laskey 42:38
Yeah, I don't think that she was really referencing that at all. I mean, she, she loved you, as you know, and I had a very strong relationship with my mom, she was my best friend. And so we spent a lot of time with her. And consequently, you know, you and her became very close. And she got to know you very well. And vice versa. So yeah, so I think that she would include that in the best days of her life.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 43:04
Yeah. What about you like looking back? Were those the best days of your life, are the best days of your life now? Are they ahead of you? Like, how do you think about that?
Michele Laskey 43:13
I never really thought about when were the best days of my life, I have always enjoyed each stage of my life. I've always enjoyed each stage of your development, there were times in the three of your lives that I would say, Oh, I wish I could just freeze this time. They're just all at such a great ages. And it's just so much fun. And I wish I could freeze this time. So I guess if you want it to, quote unquote, those are some of the best days. But I've always like really enjoyed each, each stage of my life, I'm enjoying grandparenting now, I'm enjoying seeing each of you become mothers. It's been a really interesting journey for me to see each of you become mothers and to see what is important to you as a mom.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 44:02
Do you feel like you get to know us better or differently seeing us as moms?
Michele Laskey 44:07
I'd say, you know, I see a different aspect of your personalities, you know, what's important to you. I don't know that I would say better. Because, you know, I feel like I know each of you pretty well, from those daily conversations, you know, but yeah.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 44:23
Are you surprised by how we've all chosen to embrace motherhood? Or would you have predicted the ways that we have?
Michele Laskey 44:31
That's a good question. There have been some surprises along the way. Some good some things that I would do differently, but I respect that each of you have made your choices and I respect those choices and try to follow through with them. You know, as I said, like when I'm with your children. I know some individuals who are get really frustrated because their moms won't do what they want with their children when they have their children and consequently that has caused rift in their relationship, and they don't see their moms as much anymore. So I would never ever want that to happen. I also think that because I had such a strong relationship with my mom and I respected her so much that I want to continue that with my children.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 45:14
Yeah. Well, you have.
Michele Laskey 45:15
Yeah, I feel very blessed.
Michele Laskey 45:17
Well, so do I, Mommy.
Michele Laskey 45:18
Well, thank you. Leanna.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 45:20
Is there anything else that you would love to talk about or share about kind of your motherhood journey, your grandparenthoodr journey, your life, that we didn't talk about?
Michele Laskey 45:34
No. You know, I'm just happy, happy to, to watch, you all grow into motherhood, and I'm happy, I'm happy to be a Mimi. And I'm very grateful for the time I get to spend with my grandchildren and be a part of their lives. And hopefully, they'll all remember some of our fun times when they get older.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 45:55
Wonderful. Well, I have loved hearing from you, and hearing about your legacy of us and our kids. And just so cool the the life that you've built and the legacy that you have created. And also, I think to hear that you like have enjoyed it.
Michele Laskey 46:14
I have very much.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 46:16
I think that no matter what we choose for, like, how we want to live our lives, and how we want to approach motherhood, whether we're working or we're choosing to spend that time to focus fully on our kids, however we decide to do it. I just think it's the most important thing is that we choose what's right for us and that we enjoy it.
Michele Laskey 46:41
Exactly.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 46:42
Because it's like why do it if we're going to look back on it and regret it right or, or live without enjoying it. So I'm happy to hear that you've enjoyed it.
Michele Laskey 46:51
Exactly. You know, back to your question about things that I would have done differently. One thing that you're doing that I love, and I wish I had done is the journaling. I wish that along the way, I had written down to each of you different things in your life that were highlighted, you know, that I really enjoyed so that you had that Book of Memories. And you're doing that for Adela. And I think that's really great. I that's one thing that I would have done differently. And I think it would have been really interesting for me at this age, to sit down and read all that.
Michele Laskey 47:23
Yeah.
Michele Laskey 47:23
You know, and remember all those things. Because, you know, as you know, life is on a fast track most of the time and, you know, like you you make the best decision in the moment that you're in. And, you know, week later, you might forget that that even happened. And then you open this journal. And oh, yeah, yeah, that was, you know, a really great day. So I think that's one thing that I would have done differently, you know, in hindsight, but at the same time, when did I have time to do that? With three children. So somehow, I guess I, I could have made that time. And I wish I had I wish I had thought of even doing it which I didn't.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 48:04
Yeah, I think it's hard to find the time even with one but it really started with like late night pumping sessions whenever she was a few months old. And like, what am I going to do right now I don't really love watching TV. And I needed to stay awake enough, but not be like, you know, I couldn't like work because my brain wasn't on enough at three o'clock in the morning to work. So
Michele Laskey 48:27
Why not?
Leanna Laskey McGrath 48:28
I would just write to her about like, what we did that day or the key things she was doing. And that was kind of how it started. But but you could start now, Mom.
Michele Laskey 48:37
I could, couldn't I, when I'm nap trapped. That'd be a great time.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 48:41
Yeah, there you go. Well, thank you so much, Mommy, for coming on the podcast.
Michele Laskey 48:50
Well, you're so welcome.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 48:51
I hope that it's been an enjoyable experience for you. And that, well do you think you'll listen to it?
Michele Laskey 48:56
Probably. And you know what else I'll do?
Michele Laskey 48:58
Yeah?
Michele Laskey 48:59
I'll journal about it. That'll be the beginning of my journaling. I'll talk about the day I came on my daughter's podcast.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 49:11
I'll look forward to reading that some day.
Michele Laskey 49:13
Cause I'm very proud of you and how you're helping all these women to have shared experiences. And, you know, I think that when we hear other people's stories that gives us ideas and helps us learn and grow. So I think it's awesome that you're doing this.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 49:28
Thank you. Well, I appreciate you, your support, and also you coming on today. So thank you, Mommy.
Michele Laskey 49:36
You're welcome.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 49:37
I love you.
Michele Laskey 49:37
I love you too.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 49:39
All right, well, thank you everybody so much for tuning in for this special Mother's Day episode. And I hope that everybody has a wonderful Mother's Day. See you all next week.
Michele Laskey 49:51
Bye.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 49:52
Bye.
Leanna Laskey McGrath 49:57
Thanks so much for tuning into the executive coach for moms podcast. Please like subscribe or follow the show so you'll be notified when the next episode is available I hope you'll join me again next time. Take care.
