10 Characteristics of Long Lasting Marriages!

1 00:00:00,581 --> 00:00:05,710 Picture this, two people deeply in love, weathering life's storms together. 2 00:00:06,260 --> 00:00:11,139 They share secrets, dreams, laughter that can light up the darkest of days. 3 00:00:11,709 --> 00:00:14,630 But what makes their love story truly remarkable? 4 00:00:15,629 --> 00:00:18,129 Well, join me on this episode of the Fallible Man podcast 5 00:00:18,130 --> 00:00:19,690 and I'll reveal the 10 secrets. 6 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:24,650 The fuel, this extraordinary love affair, if you ever wondered what it 7 00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:28,330 takes to create a love that lasts a lifetime, you won't want to miss this. 8 00:00:28,530 --> 00:00:32,180 So stay tuned because the journey to lasting love begins right here. 9 00:00:37,799 --> 00:00:39,089 Here's the million dollar question. 10 00:00:39,690 --> 00:00:43,150 How do men like us reach our full potential growing to the men? 11 00:00:43,150 --> 00:00:47,490 We dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, 12 00:00:47,820 --> 00:00:51,300 being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves. 13 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,289 Well, that's the big question in this podcast. 14 00:00:55,630 --> 00:00:57,430 We'll help you answer those questions and more. 15 00:00:57,620 --> 00:01:00,310 My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man podcast. 16 00:01:04,590 --> 00:01:07,810 Welcome back to the Fallible Man podcast, your home for all things, man. 17 00:01:08,179 --> 00:01:11,480 Shout out to Fallible Nation and a special welcome to our first time listeners. 18 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:14,450 Hey, thanks for giving us a chance and spending some time with us. 19 00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:15,809 I hope you enjoy the show. 20 00:01:15,820 --> 00:01:17,100 Love to hear what you think about it. 21 00:01:17,670 --> 00:01:19,009 I'm your host, Brent Allen. 22 00:01:19,010 --> 00:01:22,339 And today we're diving into something that many people see, 23 00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:25,899 but not everybody finds these days. 24 00:01:26,899 --> 00:01:31,339 What are the secrets behind building rock solid, long lasting relationships? 25 00:01:32,390 --> 00:01:35,470 But guys, I've been married for 22 years and I know that to some 26 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:36,790 people, that's not a long time. 27 00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:39,380 I know to some of you, that seems like a lifetime. 28 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,270 I've been married for 22 years. 29 00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:42,880 I've done hundreds of interviews. 30 00:01:43,249 --> 00:01:46,570 I've been mentored by older couples than my wife and I. 31 00:01:47,139 --> 00:01:50,964 I've spent years going to relationship classes and marriage classes. 32 00:01:51,895 --> 00:01:54,815 Frankly, just have a real conversation with couples that have been together 33 00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:57,955 for 40, 50, and 60 plus years. 34 00:01:58,354 --> 00:02:02,774 I've isolated 10 characteristics I see in almost every relationship 35 00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:04,874 that stands the test of a lifetime. 36 00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:08,834 And that's a really big goal, but it's a great goal to have. 37 00:02:09,634 --> 00:02:13,239 And it's absolutely something you can achieve in your life. 38 00:02:14,810 --> 00:02:15,620 Now I get it. 39 00:02:16,090 --> 00:02:19,400 We're not always the most open book when it comes to matters of the 40 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,630 heart as men, but stick with me. 41 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,950 I promise this one is worth your time. 42 00:02:24,329 --> 00:02:30,229 If your goal is lasting romantic relationships, whether you're a 43 00:02:30,230 --> 00:02:35,259 seasoned relationship pro navigating the unpredictable seas of love 44 00:02:35,549 --> 00:02:37,719 are just curious about what makes. 45 00:02:38,054 --> 00:02:39,045 Lasting connections. 46 00:02:39,045 --> 00:02:40,315 You're in the right place. 47 00:02:41,105 --> 00:02:43,725 We're about to break down the essential elements that any guy 48 00:02:43,734 --> 00:02:46,655 can appreciate when it comes to keeping love alive and thriving. 49 00:02:47,035 --> 00:02:52,155 So gents, let's get real and explore the 10 keys to creating a love story. 50 00:02:52,685 --> 00:02:54,714 That's as solid as a brick house. 51 00:02:56,814 --> 00:02:58,484 The first trait. 52 00:02:58,935 --> 00:03:01,775 These relationships is they laugh together. 53 00:03:02,825 --> 00:03:07,965 Laughter is a universal language, transcends boundaries and differences. 54 00:03:08,525 --> 00:03:12,995 Couples who find humor in everyday life, they share inside jokes. 55 00:03:13,035 --> 00:03:14,464 They tease, they laugh. 56 00:03:14,914 --> 00:03:19,224 They embrace silliness together, often better equipped to face adversity in life. 57 00:03:20,095 --> 00:03:24,165 Laughter reduces stress, fosters emotional intimacy, and reminds 58 00:03:24,165 --> 00:03:26,355 us not to take life too seriously. 59 00:03:27,705 --> 00:03:29,415 Now pay attention to how I worded that. 60 00:03:29,515 --> 00:03:31,255 They laugh TOGETHER. 61 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,965 Couples that laugh at each other? 62 00:03:34,795 --> 00:03:36,465 That's a wholly different outcome. 63 00:03:37,765 --> 00:03:38,524 Number 2. 64 00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:40,284 They show affection. 65 00:03:40,905 --> 00:03:44,504 Affection isn't just about romantic kisses and passionate embraces. 66 00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:48,555 We're not talking like the PDA displays that most people 67 00:03:48,555 --> 00:03:49,565 don't want to see in public. 68 00:03:50,084 --> 00:03:52,745 It's everyday gestures that count. 69 00:03:53,220 --> 00:03:57,450 A reassuring hand on the shoulder, a spontaneous hug, a heartfelt compliment. 70 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,980 All these things can convey love and appreciation in powerful ways. 71 00:04:03,024 --> 00:04:06,385 One of the things I've been told is most annoying about me and my wife and 72 00:04:06,394 --> 00:04:10,515 most endearing at the same time, which I'm not sure how that works is that 73 00:04:10,645 --> 00:04:14,905 I just can't keep my hands off of my wife when I'm around her, I'm not like 74 00:04:14,935 --> 00:04:18,415 mauling her or making my kids freak out and be like, Hey, that's great. 75 00:04:18,415 --> 00:04:19,415 Now it's none of that. 76 00:04:19,905 --> 00:04:21,565 It's, I want to hold her hand. 77 00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:22,915 I want to sit next to her. 78 00:04:22,915 --> 00:04:23,955 I want to put my arm around her. 79 00:04:23,955 --> 00:04:26,995 If I'm standing by her, I've got my hands on her shoulders, on her hips. 80 00:04:27,265 --> 00:04:29,425 I want to be physically touching my wife. 81 00:04:29,735 --> 00:04:30,665 All the time. 82 00:04:30,995 --> 00:04:34,405 I just, if I'm close enough to be able to touch her, I want to be able 83 00:04:34,405 --> 00:04:36,885 to touch her because I love her. 84 00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:38,535 And just that touch is reassuring. 85 00:04:39,825 --> 00:04:44,135 Number three, they appreciate each other's individual strengths and gifts. 86 00:04:46,265 --> 00:04:47,084 Moving forward. 87 00:04:47,094 --> 00:04:52,655 We encountered this concept that for some people seems counterintuitive. 88 00:04:53,635 --> 00:04:55,695 Everybody goes, oh, you become one person. 89 00:04:55,935 --> 00:04:56,485 No, no. 90 00:04:56,485 --> 00:04:58,345 You become one goal together. 91 00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:03,690 You're still two individuals making up this better team and a successful 92 00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:08,879 relationship or successful partnership differences aren't seen as obstacles, but 93 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:13,589 as unique qualities that compliment each other and make you stronger together. 94 00:05:14,179 --> 00:05:16,649 Recognizing and celebrating each other's strengths is a 95 00:05:16,809 --> 00:05:18,630 key to harming a harmonious. 96 00:05:18,964 --> 00:05:19,934 Relationship. 97 00:05:20,985 --> 00:05:23,585 See, this is what I get when I use big words, I start to 98 00:05:23,635 --> 00:05:24,895 butcher them on the recording. 99 00:05:26,585 --> 00:05:30,025 Point number four brings us to a crucial aspect of lasting love. 100 00:05:30,395 --> 00:05:31,914 It's a team mentality. 101 00:05:32,294 --> 00:05:33,895 It's us versus the world. 102 00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:38,184 A strong partnership is like a fortress built on mutual support. 103 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:43,430 When couples face external challenges, they stand together, united against 104 00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:45,240 whatever life throws their way. 105 00:05:46,330 --> 00:05:50,410 I've met a lot of couples who have been together going on 50, 60 years. 106 00:05:50,810 --> 00:05:52,030 I love seeing it. 107 00:05:52,460 --> 00:05:57,819 And there is nothing more fierce than anything trying to come at them because 108 00:05:57,910 --> 00:06:00,209 together they can take on anything. 109 00:06:00,249 --> 00:06:01,629 It's incredible to watch. 110 00:06:02,969 --> 00:06:04,079 Number five reminds us. 111 00:06:04,570 --> 00:06:10,050 Of the power of forgiveness, because this trait is important in all really 112 00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:11,480 healthy, romantic relationships. 113 00:06:11,780 --> 00:06:15,819 If you have any chance of going a lifetime, and that's the fact 114 00:06:15,820 --> 00:06:20,370 that forgiveness is given freely means that grudges have no 115 00:06:20,370 --> 00:06:21,780 place in a loving partnership. 116 00:06:22,304 --> 00:06:26,995 Mistakes are acknowledged, dealt with, forgiven, and used as 117 00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:28,755 opportunities to grow together. 118 00:06:29,545 --> 00:06:33,455 But forgiveness is a free flowing thing in a healthy relationship. 119 00:06:35,585 --> 00:06:39,104 Looking ahead, point number six, they dream of and plan 120 00:06:39,104 --> 00:06:40,235 for their future together. 121 00:06:42,070 --> 00:06:45,230 This highlights the importance of shared goals and aspirations. 122 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:49,340 Couples who envision their future together and work towards it have 123 00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:54,769 a deeper sense of purpose and unity and often actually reach those goals. 124 00:06:55,550 --> 00:06:57,680 It's great, you're going to have individual goals. 125 00:06:58,030 --> 00:07:01,680 Professionally, personally, and they should compliment your bigger goals as a 126 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:09,300 couple, as you grow together, but couples that last, they dream about a future where 127 00:07:09,310 --> 00:07:13,080 they're together, doing things together, where they're moving into whatever 128 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:17,540 years, where they're moving to whatever successes they dream and they vision 129 00:07:17,540 --> 00:07:19,230 this and they talk about it together. 130 00:07:20,870 --> 00:07:23,430 Number seven, it's effective communication. 131 00:07:24,590 --> 00:07:26,800 Now effective communication is the cornerstone of any 132 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:27,970 successful relationship. 133 00:07:28,450 --> 00:07:31,150 If you ever heard me talk about relationships on this podcast, which 134 00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:35,890 I talk about pretty regularly, you know, that communication is critical. 135 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:38,680 Like just so critical. 136 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,750 It is the foundation. 137 00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:43,909 The cornerstone is a good word of a successful relationship. 138 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:49,340 However, they can fit, they communicate effectively eventually. 139 00:07:50,450 --> 00:07:53,049 So let's acknowledge that is not always easy. 140 00:07:53,650 --> 00:07:57,029 And especially in the early days, you're going to have a lot of miscommunications. 141 00:07:57,659 --> 00:08:01,300 It takes a while to learn, to communicate effectively. 142 00:08:01,685 --> 00:08:05,984 With your spouse, you have to learn how they hear things, how they hear 143 00:08:05,984 --> 00:08:08,315 love, how they hear frustrations. 144 00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:10,945 You have to learn their personality really well. 145 00:08:10,994 --> 00:08:14,875 And the way they prefer to communicate takes a while. 146 00:08:14,935 --> 00:08:15,635 Effective 147 00:08:18,834 --> 00:08:21,184 relationships communicate effectively. 148 00:08:21,645 --> 00:08:25,875 Eventually, so if you haven't got this locked down and totally figured out, 149 00:08:25,965 --> 00:08:29,335 Hey, I've got a lot of episodes and you should check out more of my episodes 150 00:08:29,335 --> 00:08:31,345 on relationships and communication. 151 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:35,304 Cause I have episodes on both together and separately because 152 00:08:35,314 --> 00:08:40,454 communication is that important, but understand it's a learning process. 153 00:08:40,455 --> 00:08:41,745 It's going to take you a while. 154 00:08:41,934 --> 00:08:44,525 You're not going to have it perfectly to start with. 155 00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:48,975 And that's fine, but learning to communicate openly and honestly is 156 00:08:48,975 --> 00:08:51,875 essential for resolving conflicts and nurturing a healthy bond. 157 00:08:53,365 --> 00:08:53,984 Next up 0. 158 00:08:53,985 --> 00:08:56,585 8, they prioritize each other. 159 00:08:57,324 --> 00:09:00,985 Now, this is really something that should be obvious. 160 00:09:01,685 --> 00:09:05,965 I would think, but all you have to do is look around at relationships 161 00:09:05,965 --> 00:09:10,564 of society and you know, it's not in a world full of distractions. 162 00:09:10,574 --> 00:09:14,635 It's crucial to make time for your partner, for your spouse, to 163 00:09:14,635 --> 00:09:16,795 prioritize their needs and desires. 164 00:09:17,235 --> 00:09:22,055 This dedication helps maintain that spark that ignited your love in the first place. 165 00:09:22,775 --> 00:09:24,175 They have to be. 166 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,180 First place, you've got to be walking hand in hand. 167 00:09:27,490 --> 00:09:30,540 Your spouse can't come number three or four on the priority list. 168 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,760 They have to come number one. 169 00:09:32,069 --> 00:09:34,900 If you want to make those 40, 50, 60 year relationships. 170 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:40,319 Point nine, they make up after their conflicts. 171 00:09:41,469 --> 00:09:46,760 There is so much unresolved anger in so many relationships these days because 172 00:09:46,770 --> 00:09:53,010 for some reason we've decided we don't have to make it up after we have a 173 00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:55,230 disagreement or an argument or a conflict. 174 00:09:57,130 --> 00:10:00,450 Disagreements are inevitable in every relationship. 175 00:10:00,470 --> 00:10:04,329 You're going to have conflicts, relationships that don't have 176 00:10:04,339 --> 00:10:07,289 conflicts, don't exist because they aren't really relationships. 177 00:10:07,609 --> 00:10:11,550 They're people trying to pacify each other and not actually have a real relationship. 178 00:10:12,470 --> 00:10:14,529 What matters most is how you handle them. 179 00:10:15,079 --> 00:10:17,989 And successful couples are willing to put aside their pride, 180 00:10:18,470 --> 00:10:20,330 apologize when necessary, right? 181 00:10:20,330 --> 00:10:20,980 We go back to. 182 00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:26,320 Forgiveness is free flowing and work towards reconciliation, reconciliation. 183 00:10:27,010 --> 00:10:29,130 There's the old adage of never go to bed angry. 184 00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:29,670 Well, you know what? 185 00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:31,389 That doesn't work for all couples. 186 00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:34,980 Some couples need a longer cool down period. 187 00:10:35,019 --> 00:10:38,259 And so you better talk about it the next day, or you might not stay a couple. 188 00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:43,670 Other couples need to get it done that night or whenever it's happening, find 189 00:10:43,670 --> 00:10:45,410 out what works in your relationship. 190 00:10:46,055 --> 00:10:51,204 Find out what you guys need to do to process the conflict maturely and 191 00:10:51,204 --> 00:10:54,985 respectfully with each other with forgiveness in your heart and love for 192 00:10:54,985 --> 00:10:56,615 each other, prioritizing each other. 193 00:10:57,074 --> 00:11:00,584 But I promise successful couples, they learn to make 194 00:11:00,594 --> 00:11:01,854 up after they have conflicts. 195 00:11:03,494 --> 00:11:04,355 Number 10. 196 00:11:05,895 --> 00:11:07,534 We arrive at the last one. 197 00:11:07,535 --> 00:11:11,474 I want to touch on and that is they never stop growing together. 198 00:11:12,454 --> 00:11:15,655 A lasting love story is one that evolves over time. 199 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,045 I hate Disney movies for this reason. 200 00:11:19,890 --> 00:11:21,250 None of them are realistic. 201 00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:27,040 All of them have princesses following, following love at first sight with their 202 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,339 happily ever after quite literally. 203 00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:32,520 Sometimes they've only ever seen the person for like 30 seconds. 204 00:11:34,140 --> 00:11:38,290 It is the most obnoxious thing when you're raising children. 205 00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:42,470 I have two daughters and it pisses me off, frankly, because 206 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:45,740 that's not how real love works. 207 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:48,310 It doesn't happen instantly. 208 00:11:49,020 --> 00:11:51,000 A love story grows over time. 209 00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:54,450 It doesn't matter if you're new to your relationship, or you've been 210 00:11:54,450 --> 00:11:57,619 in a relationship for 20 years like my wife and I, or you've been in 211 00:11:57,620 --> 00:11:59,870 a relationship for 40 to 60 years. 212 00:12:00,530 --> 00:12:05,050 That love story never stops evolving in all that time. 213 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:10,180 So couples who continue to learn, adapt, and grow together find that their bond 214 00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:14,600 is strengthened as the years go by because they're growing hand in hand 215 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,950 together towards those goals they've set. 216 00:12:17,329 --> 00:12:21,750 Communicating, forgiving each other, all these things interplay guys. 217 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,980 I've talked to so many couples over the years. 218 00:12:25,275 --> 00:12:27,915 And I'm always curious what makes their marriage work. 219 00:12:28,525 --> 00:12:32,465 What gets those 50 year, 60 year relationships, 70 year relationships. 220 00:12:32,695 --> 00:12:33,675 I met a few of those. 221 00:12:35,675 --> 00:12:38,804 In conclusion, gentlemen, these 10 pillars are things that 222 00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:40,454 lasting love is built upon. 223 00:12:41,324 --> 00:12:45,214 For those successful happily ever afters, not the Disney movie junk. 224 00:12:45,774 --> 00:12:47,255 Actual happily ever afters. 225 00:12:47,795 --> 00:12:52,734 It's work, but these 10 traits are paramount to making it work. 226 00:12:53,295 --> 00:12:56,375 Whether you're in a relationship now or you're seeking to nurture deeper 227 00:12:56,375 --> 00:13:00,795 connections in the future, Remember that love is an ongoing journey of laughter, 228 00:13:00,805 --> 00:13:05,535 affection, appreciation, teamwork, forgiveness, shared dreams, effective 229 00:13:05,575 --> 00:13:10,395 communication, priorities, prioritization, reconciliation, and never ending growth. 230 00:13:11,795 --> 00:13:14,085 That's a mouthful guys. 231 00:13:14,115 --> 00:13:17,815 If you found this episode insightful or valuable, please consider sharing the 232 00:13:17,815 --> 00:13:21,725 fallible man podcast with your friends, family, and anybody else who could 233 00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:26,245 benefit from thoughts that's been shared here today, help those relationships 234 00:13:26,245 --> 00:13:27,525 out that matter in your life. 235 00:13:27,525 --> 00:13:32,414 Maybe you, you know, somebody who needs this, your support helps us to continue 236 00:13:32,414 --> 00:13:35,645 our mission of supporting men and their personal growth journeys and building 237 00:13:35,825 --> 00:13:40,185 stronger relationships with the people they care about subscribe to the podcast. 238 00:13:40,509 --> 00:13:41,280 Leave us a review. 239 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:45,319 That helps us a lot and connect with us on social media at the fallible man. 240 00:13:45,319 --> 00:13:46,910 Stay updated on future episodes. 241 00:13:47,550 --> 00:13:50,570 Be better tomorrow because what you do today, we'll see on the next one. 242 00:13:51,810 --> 00:13:54,300 This has been the fallible man podcast. 243 00:13:54,839 --> 00:13:58,160 You're home for everything, man, husband, and father. 244 00:13:59,059 --> 00:14:00,209 Be sure to subscribe. 245 00:14:00,209 --> 00:14:02,990 So you don't miss a show head over to www. 246 00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:05,890 thefallibleman. 247 00:14:05,890 --> 00:14:10,284 com for more content and get your own fallible man gear. 248 00:14:11,245 --> 00:14:14,359 I ain't waitin and wishin