Transcript
1
00:00:00,150 --> 00:00:01,460
It's time to get mental.
2
00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:05,840
Uh, it really is.
3
00:00:05,860 --> 00:00:08,530
It's, we got to stop delaying this stuff.
4
00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:11,020
Uh, it is so valuable.
5
00:00:11,030 --> 00:00:13,110
You will see a difference.
6
00:00:13,169 --> 00:00:15,840
Uh, there's a lot of
different tools out there.
7
00:00:16,530 --> 00:00:18,940
Find the tool that works
for you and start using it.
8
00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:25,799
Here's the million dollar question.
9
00:00:26,389 --> 00:00:29,850
How do men like us reach our
full potential growing to the men
10
00:00:29,850 --> 00:00:33,130
we dream of being while taking
care of our responsibilities?
11
00:00:33,535 --> 00:00:38,005
working, being good husbands, fathers,
and still take care of ourselves?
12
00:00:38,935 --> 00:00:40,435
Well, that's the big question.
13
00:00:41,214 --> 00:00:44,155
In this podcast, we'll help you
answer those questions and more.
14
00:00:44,324 --> 00:00:46,944
My name is Brent and welcome
to the Fallible Man Podcast.
15
00:00:50,625 --> 00:00:52,035
Welcome to fallible man podcast.
16
00:00:52,035 --> 00:00:54,575
You're home for all things, man,
husband and father, big shout
17
00:00:54,575 --> 00:00:55,795
out to fallible nation and warm.
18
00:00:55,795 --> 00:00:57,095
Welcome to our first time listeners.
19
00:00:57,095 --> 00:00:59,354
Hey, I know there's a lot competing
for your attention out there.
20
00:00:59,554 --> 00:01:01,494
I appreciate taking the
time to check us out.
21
00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:05,174
Be sure and touch base with me at the
fallible man on most social medias.
22
00:01:05,354 --> 00:01:06,725
Let me know what you thought of our show.
23
00:01:06,754 --> 00:01:08,145
I'd love to hear your opinion.
24
00:01:08,164 --> 00:01:10,925
And like I said, we appreciate
you giving this chance and if you
25
00:01:10,925 --> 00:01:13,464
really enjoy the show, be sure to
leave us review on apple podcast.
26
00:01:13,475 --> 00:01:14,565
That really helps us out.
27
00:01:15,009 --> 00:01:19,060
Today, my special guest is
neuroscientist, CEO and co founder
28
00:01:19,060 --> 00:01:20,940
of The Mental App, Anson Whitmore.
29
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,600
Anson, welcome to the
Fallible Man Podcast.
30
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:24,600
All right.
31
00:01:24,620 --> 00:01:25,290
Great to be here.
32
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,460
Now, Anson, we, we start
on the lighter side.
33
00:01:28,460 --> 00:01:29,909
So, how's your trivia?
34
00:01:31,780 --> 00:01:36,540
Not as good as you would think for
someone with a PhD, but, but bring it on.
35
00:01:36,979 --> 00:01:39,810
I, I would assume that you were
busy studying more relevant
36
00:01:39,820 --> 00:01:41,240
things than random trivia facts.
37
00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:45,030
But, you know, just, just
that's a symptom of me.
38
00:01:45,060 --> 00:01:45,690
So I don't know.
39
00:01:46,925 --> 00:01:47,755
Yeah, I go deep.
40
00:01:47,765 --> 00:01:48,255
I go deep.
41
00:01:50,315 --> 00:01:53,495
What is the oldest soda
drink in the United States?
42
00:01:53,595 --> 00:01:54,215
Is it A.
43
00:01:54,235 --> 00:01:55,365
Coca Cola, B.
44
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,345
Pepsi, C.
45
00:01:56,345 --> 00:01:56,585
Dr.
46
00:01:56,585 --> 00:01:57,475
Pepper, or D.
47
00:01:57,615 --> 00:01:58,815
Canada Dry Ginger Ale?
48
00:02:01,075 --> 00:02:02,545
The ginger ale is interesting.
49
00:02:02,715 --> 00:02:06,145
I would guess it's, I mean, I know
Coca Cola is really old, so I'm
50
00:02:06,145 --> 00:02:10,755
gonna go with that, back to the days
when it had cocaine in it, right?
51
00:02:11,975 --> 00:02:13,445
Really happy days of Coke.
52
00:02:15,204 --> 00:02:18,650
And for all of you who didn't know that,
yes, Coca Cola was originally called
53
00:02:18,650 --> 00:02:20,290
Coca Cola because it had cocaine in it.
54
00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:20,400
Yeah.
55
00:02:21,030 --> 00:02:21,350
Wow.
56
00:02:22,125 --> 00:02:23,845
So guys, you know, the
rules don't skip ahead.
57
00:02:23,855 --> 00:02:24,365
Don't cheat.
58
00:02:24,365 --> 00:02:26,105
And for God's sake, don't
write down your answer.
59
00:02:26,105 --> 00:02:28,335
If you're driving, just remember
it and come back to it later.
60
00:02:28,335 --> 00:02:29,465
We'll deal with that later.
61
00:02:29,924 --> 00:02:32,204
Uh, Anson, I don't do introductions.
62
00:02:32,204 --> 00:02:33,984
That's that was about
as formal as it gets.
63
00:02:33,994 --> 00:02:36,604
So in your own words today, who is Anson?
64
00:02:38,035 --> 00:02:38,454
Yeah.
65
00:02:38,504 --> 00:02:44,094
Uh, PC neuroscience, uh, CEO and co
founder of mental building, mental
66
00:02:44,094 --> 00:02:49,874
health app built for men, dad of two
young boys, one years old and four
67
00:02:49,874 --> 00:02:55,765
years old, and also, uh, A kind of
retired out semi professional rock
68
00:02:55,765 --> 00:02:58,825
climber, but I still love to climb.
69
00:03:00,175 --> 00:03:01,035
Nice.
70
00:03:01,185 --> 00:03:02,005
Nice.
71
00:03:02,365 --> 00:03:04,755
I saw a picture on one of your
social medias of you climbing.
72
00:03:04,765 --> 00:03:08,624
So I didn't know if that was a hobby
or if that was a little beyond a hobby.
73
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:13,750
Yeah, I used to push it pretty hard,
uh, I used to, mostly it's like
74
00:03:13,780 --> 00:03:17,770
bouldering, but I used to also, uh, do
big walls, including some really big
75
00:03:17,770 --> 00:03:20,440
solos of thousand plus foot cliffs.
76
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:26,510
And now that I have the little kids,
uh, and a wife, I don't do that anymore.
77
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:30,140
Um, but maybe sometime like when
I'm retired, when the kids are old,
78
00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:33,220
well, you know, if nothing else,
you can hit a rock gym, right?
79
00:03:33,230 --> 00:03:35,100
Keep keeping a little
bit of shape that way.
80
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,579
I actually built my own
climbing wall in the garage.
81
00:03:38,980 --> 00:03:39,720
Yeah, I like that.
82
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,820
I don't park the cars
in the garage anymore.
83
00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:44,220
It's just a big gift, to be honest.
84
00:03:44,790 --> 00:03:45,989
Uh, but it's great.
85
00:03:46,950 --> 00:03:51,459
Hey, you know, I, I used to live a
couple blocks from a climbing gym in
86
00:03:51,459 --> 00:03:52,690
one of the towns I used to live in.
87
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,799
And honestly, like, that was
one of my favorite workouts.
88
00:03:55,799 --> 00:04:00,070
Like, I, I go in the evenings
and just go climb with my wife.
89
00:04:00,090 --> 00:04:02,420
And we, we got certified to
belay each other at the gym.
90
00:04:03,090 --> 00:04:04,450
Man, that was just a great workout.
91
00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:06,050
I loved every minute of it.
92
00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:12,699
Yeah, a big part is, uh, you just get so
into the flow and into the moment that
93
00:04:12,700 --> 00:04:16,519
I've noticed when I've gone into the gym
and climbed, whatever I was just kind
94
00:04:16,519 --> 00:04:19,679
of stressing about, worrying about, or
whatever was going on, by the time I
95
00:04:19,679 --> 00:04:22,360
leave the gym, it's just been wiped clean.
96
00:04:22,869 --> 00:04:26,560
And that's the power of spending
an hour or two just deeply
97
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:30,470
in the moment as stresses and
worries just kind of dissipate.
98
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:31,540
I love it.
99
00:04:32,659 --> 00:04:33,090
Clarity.
100
00:04:33,090 --> 00:04:34,350
I get money on a motorcycle.
101
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,159
When you do anything, you actually
have to be a hundred percent president.
102
00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:40,020
It's amazing.
103
00:04:41,790 --> 00:04:45,849
If you get sidetracked while you're
climbing and can fall to your death.
104
00:04:46,355 --> 00:04:47,545
You have to be in the moment.
105
00:04:47,965 --> 00:04:48,215
Yeah.
106
00:04:48,585 --> 00:04:50,185
Yeah thing on a motorcycle.
107
00:04:50,935 --> 00:04:55,555
It's the same Yeah, I had
a motorcycle for 15 years.
108
00:04:55,725 --> 00:04:57,025
All right, another thing.
109
00:04:57,795 --> 00:05:04,224
My wife is not happy with
me Sensible again, what is
110
00:05:04,224 --> 00:05:05,535
your best playground insult?
111
00:05:06,934 --> 00:05:08,194
What's my best playground?
112
00:05:08,754 --> 00:05:09,914
Playground insult.
113
00:05:11,794 --> 00:05:13,654
What is a playground insult?
114
00:05:14,055 --> 00:05:19,335
You know when you're a kid pushing
each other on the playground Your mom.
115
00:05:19,575 --> 00:05:20,820
Oh, insult , right?
116
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:21,380
Playground.
117
00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:21,780
Insult.
118
00:05:22,275 --> 00:05:22,455
Yeah.
119
00:05:22,544 --> 00:05:23,085
Playground.
120
00:05:24,185 --> 00:05:26,875
Um, oh, wow.
121
00:05:26,965 --> 00:05:30,495
Uh, yeah, I, that, that's a tough one.
122
00:05:30,585 --> 00:05:36,605
Um, I, I think we'd always just be
talking about your mom's face or . Um,
123
00:05:36,695 --> 00:05:39,784
I can't say I have too many good
ones off the top of my head anymore.
124
00:05:41,255 --> 00:05:43,515
See, we're tapping into a whole
different part of your brain today.
125
00:05:44,005 --> 00:05:44,475
Yeah.
126
00:05:45,015 --> 00:05:46,885
Weapon of choice in zombie apocalypse.
127
00:05:48,405 --> 00:05:51,294
Ooh, uh, yeah, I gotta say samurai sword.
128
00:05:52,615 --> 00:05:52,915
Nice.
129
00:05:53,724 --> 00:05:54,175
They're good.
130
00:05:54,175 --> 00:05:55,185
I mean, just keep using it.
131
00:05:55,245 --> 00:05:57,075
Hey, you've run out of bullets
with all the other ones.
132
00:05:57,085 --> 00:05:59,515
Samurai sword, you
know, it's fast, nimble.
133
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,030
Just taking heads off.
134
00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:01,650
I don't know.
135
00:06:01,990 --> 00:06:04,280
Wasn't there a character
in Waking Dead who had one?
136
00:06:04,670 --> 00:06:05,560
Yeah, I think so.
137
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,100
I didn't ever watch much of that one.
138
00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:12,579
I watched like a season or two and the
samurai sword just seemed most effective
139
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,010
and you never ran out of bullets.
140
00:06:14,310 --> 00:06:16,630
Right, and it's quiet so
you don't draw a crowd.
141
00:06:16,809 --> 00:06:17,289
That's true.
142
00:06:17,530 --> 00:06:17,770
Right?
143
00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:21,199
Loud noises in zombie
movies always end badly.
144
00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:22,089
Yeah.
145
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:23,489
So.
146
00:06:23,949 --> 00:06:26,989
If you had to eat one meal for the
rest of your life, what would it be?
147
00:06:28,339 --> 00:06:31,119
Ooh, that's a good one.
148
00:06:31,665 --> 00:06:33,545
Probably, uh, spaghetti.
149
00:06:34,345 --> 00:06:34,845
Spaghetti?
150
00:06:35,515 --> 00:06:37,085
I'm from, uh, Midwest.
151
00:06:37,085 --> 00:06:40,535
Grew up eating spaghetti outside Chicago.
152
00:06:40,684 --> 00:06:41,665
It was a big thing.
153
00:06:42,245 --> 00:06:46,275
Yeah, like, uh, maybe a parpadelli
or ragu or something like that.
154
00:06:46,494 --> 00:06:47,564
Oh man, so good.
155
00:06:48,395 --> 00:06:49,084
Meat or not?
156
00:06:49,884 --> 00:06:50,184
Meat.
157
00:06:50,250 --> 00:06:51,600
Yeah.
158
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,949
Yeah.
159
00:06:54,090 --> 00:06:54,669
What about you?
160
00:06:55,190 --> 00:06:57,460
Oh man, uh, chicken fries, steak and eggs.
161
00:06:58,060 --> 00:07:00,509
Oh, well, yeah, I'm, I'm a Southern boy.
162
00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:02,710
I grew up with a very Southern family.
163
00:07:02,719 --> 00:07:07,639
I didn't live in the South a lot, but I,
I grew up with a very deeply Texan family.
164
00:07:07,639 --> 00:07:11,099
So chicken fries, steak and
eggs, hash browns, gravy.
165
00:07:12,190 --> 00:07:13,669
I eat it morning, noon and night.
166
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,520
The only thing that comes
close is chili dogs.
167
00:07:16,175 --> 00:07:16,655
Chili dog.
168
00:07:16,745 --> 00:07:17,164
Nice.
169
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,534
. I'll eat chili dogs for breakfast.
170
00:07:19,625 --> 00:07:22,475
So you know, some people
eat pizza for breakfast.
171
00:07:23,155 --> 00:07:23,875
Can't stand it.
172
00:07:23,935 --> 00:07:26,005
But chili dogs, I'll eat
chili dogs for breakfast.
173
00:07:26,365 --> 00:07:26,905
Oh, whoa.
174
00:07:27,145 --> 00:07:30,905
Yeah, pizza used to be mine and I,
I used to, when I was younger, I'd
175
00:07:30,905 --> 00:07:32,225
be like, it's the perfect food.
176
00:07:32,225 --> 00:07:36,845
It's got carbs and if you have some
meat on top and vegetables, . I didn't
177
00:07:36,845 --> 00:07:39,875
really get when I was younger that I
was like, okay, maybe not the healthiest
178
00:07:41,789 --> 00:07:42,359
Fair enough.
179
00:07:43,059 --> 00:07:45,960
What purchase of 100 or less have
you made in the last year that's
180
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,419
had the biggest impact on your life?
181
00:07:49,820 --> 00:07:52,700
Well, now I'm thinking about food and
the best buy of last year was just
182
00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:54,729
like a cheese grater for Parmesan.
183
00:07:54,989 --> 00:07:57,284
That uh, Went on to the regu.
184
00:07:57,284 --> 00:08:00,044
I make, I was like, that
was the best Buy 2023.
185
00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,484
I don't know why we
didn't have one of those.
186
00:08:02,169 --> 00:08:05,914
is yours a totally homemade
regu, like from scratch?
187
00:08:05,979 --> 00:08:06,270
Yeah.
188
00:08:06,544 --> 00:08:07,354
Yeah, definitely.
189
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:07,990
Yeah.
190
00:08:08,094 --> 00:08:08,365
Yeah.
191
00:08:08,365 --> 00:08:09,655
I get into it, yeah.
192
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,245
It cooks for like three hours.
193
00:08:11,305 --> 00:08:12,205
Big process.
194
00:08:12,210 --> 00:08:13,135
It's a Sunday meal.
195
00:08:13,974 --> 00:08:14,275
Yeah.
196
00:08:14,304 --> 00:08:14,604
Yeah.
197
00:08:14,609 --> 00:08:18,715
I, I've got my red sauce, my ragu down to.
198
00:08:19,739 --> 00:08:20,559
13 hours.
199
00:08:21,650 --> 00:08:22,080
Oh, well.
200
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:23,169
It's a slow cook.
201
00:08:23,289 --> 00:08:26,299
Well, I make it, I only make
it maybe once a year and it's a
202
00:08:26,299 --> 00:08:30,450
really big pot and it's a slow cook
all day to cook everything down.
203
00:08:30,450 --> 00:08:34,089
And then there's enough sauce
for like, we jar it, give away
204
00:08:34,089 --> 00:08:36,000
to people, it's a couple mils.
205
00:08:36,569 --> 00:08:37,049
Oh man.
206
00:08:37,339 --> 00:08:38,869
You're going to have to
have me over at your house.
207
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:42,749
There's like, there's like four pounds
of meat, an entire bottle of wine.
208
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:43,789
Yeah.
209
00:08:45,099 --> 00:08:45,409
Yeah.
210
00:08:45,410 --> 00:08:45,959
It's awesome.
211
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:50,920
Slow cooking all those ingredients kind
of just like melt together and infuse
212
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:55,440
each other with their flavor and yeah,
oh, yeah Yeah, the longer it cooks the
213
00:08:55,440 --> 00:09:00,190
better because it just comes together
Ironically mine's hotter the next day.
214
00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:04,710
I don't know what I do to it But like
it's spicy or hotter the next day after
215
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:07,275
you refrigerated it one night It's weird.
216
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:08,815
Yeah.
217
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:12,735
You got to have a look in the original
little, little, little kick to it.
218
00:09:13,505 --> 00:09:16,765
If we were to sit down and have
dinner together, what's one funny
219
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:18,014
story your family would tell on you?
220
00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:24,505
Uh, that is, uh, a tough one.
221
00:09:24,505 --> 00:09:31,175
What would be the top one when was
drawn a blank here, I should have
222
00:09:31,175 --> 00:09:32,685
prepared for some of these questions.
223
00:09:32,944 --> 00:09:37,575
Um, the, a funny story about me.
224
00:09:39,090 --> 00:09:41,709
Yeah, but what would they tell
on you to try and embarrass you?
225
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,420
You can dig back a little farther
than your wife if you want, what
226
00:09:44,420 --> 00:09:47,890
your parents would tell on you, your
siblings, or Anything like that?
227
00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:54,280
I'm just thinking about, yeah, what
an embarrassing stories of myself.
228
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:57,480
I'm not sure if this would be
the, the go to story my wife would
229
00:09:57,489 --> 00:09:59,910
have, but it stands out in my head
as one of my more embarrassing
230
00:09:59,910 --> 00:10:01,790
stories, which is, I was young.
231
00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:06,360
I was at a movie theater, and we
were watching that movie Tom Hanks.
232
00:10:06,409 --> 00:10:09,540
I was like, vice versa, or one of
those, where they like switch bodies.
233
00:10:09,580 --> 00:10:15,430
I'm kind of aging myself, uh, here, but
we had, it was, you know, they're cheesy
234
00:10:15,430 --> 00:10:19,880
movies, but in the end, it had Just
like one of those sentimental scenes
235
00:10:19,890 --> 00:10:21,350
where everything was really quiet.
236
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:25,090
The theater is dead quiet and sad.
237
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:29,480
And I was like eight years old and
I just let out the largest fart
238
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:32,670
that I think my young body ever had.
239
00:10:33,129 --> 00:10:34,960
And it just erupted
through the whole theater.
240
00:10:34,989 --> 00:10:38,080
And the whole theater just
started laughing their asses off.
241
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,950
And everyone in front was
turning around and looking at me.
242
00:10:41,950 --> 00:10:44,500
And I was like scooting down
to my seat and pointing at my
243
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:46,000
friend who's sitting next to me.
244
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:49,670
It was a very mortifying experience
for me and when we left the
245
00:10:49,670 --> 00:10:53,670
theater, everyone was like, Oh, that
scene, that was an amazing scene.
246
00:10:54,380 --> 00:10:57,589
I guess it was everyone was thinking
that's like what that scene actually
247
00:10:57,650 --> 00:11:01,649
called for was, uh, that was
their review of the scene as well.
248
00:11:01,650 --> 00:11:04,819
Hey, you changed that
movie forever though.
249
00:11:04,839 --> 00:11:09,016
Those people are going to like laugh
every time they see that scene again.
250
00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:09,549
Yeah.
251
00:11:09,830 --> 00:11:11,040
I remember that scene, it sucked.
252
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:12,300
No, you, you, you did.
253
00:11:13,770 --> 00:11:15,420
Yeah, it was a little too mushy.
254
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:17,240
Too mushy.
255
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:17,890
Exactly.
256
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,490
What's one totally random fact
that people don't know about you?
257
00:11:24,230 --> 00:11:28,950
Um, yeah, I spent elementary
school in England.
258
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:33,620
And, uh, for a couple of years,
I was at a private school.
259
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:38,910
Um, and the private school had
a headmaster who had only one
260
00:11:38,910 --> 00:11:42,850
eye, because he, the other one
got shot out with his shotgun.
261
00:11:43,185 --> 00:11:48,834
Backfired and at the school they used
to hit you with rulers if you were
262
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:53,595
bad You'd have to hold your hand out
and they would and they just swat the
263
00:11:53,595 --> 00:12:00,734
slack So I used to experience corporal
punishment as a kid while I was in school.
264
00:12:01,265 --> 00:12:03,484
Can you imagine that modern school today?
265
00:12:03,859 --> 00:12:04,890
The love sweets.
266
00:12:05,410 --> 00:12:06,120
Wow, yeah.
267
00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:10,310
I can't imagine how pissed I'd
be if I found out that a teacher
268
00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:11,459
was hitting one of my kids.
269
00:12:12,719 --> 00:12:15,529
Yeah, and our parents were like, yeah, go
ahead, you probably deserved it, you know.
270
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:15,979
Yeah.
271
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:19,379
Yeah, if they weren't
smacking me, you know.
272
00:12:20,979 --> 00:12:24,219
What is something everyone should
know about you before we dig in today?
273
00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:26,150
Hmm.
274
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:33,189
Uh, deeply care about,
uh, amount of suffering.
275
00:12:33,540 --> 00:12:37,080
People go through, uh, it's really
just motivated a big part of my career.
276
00:12:37,260 --> 00:12:42,690
I really don't like to see people
suffer and I'm working hard most of
277
00:12:42,710 --> 00:12:46,250
my life to figure out ways to help
people, uh, experience less of them.
278
00:12:48,829 --> 00:12:50,759
Guys, we've been getting to
know Anson just a little bit,
279
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:52,210
who he is and connect with him.
280
00:12:52,685 --> 00:12:55,445
And the next part of the show,
we're going to dive into the under
281
00:12:55,455 --> 00:12:57,715
discussed topic of men's mental health.
282
00:12:58,105 --> 00:12:59,735
We're going to roll our sponsors
and we'll be right back with
283
00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:00,575
more from Anson Whitmore.
284
00:13:01,735 --> 00:13:04,425
Now, before we go any further,
I wanted to share with you guys.
285
00:13:04,735 --> 00:13:08,655
I don't always tell you how
much I love doing my podcast.
286
00:13:09,234 --> 00:13:12,024
Like I passionately love what I'm doing.
287
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:16,365
And one of the things that makes my
life better as a podcaster is to work
288
00:13:16,365 --> 00:13:20,724
with a company like grow your show,
grow your show is a one stop podcast.
289
00:13:20,735 --> 00:13:21,324
Do it all.
290
00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:24,635
Now I use grow your show for my
marketing, but grow your show
291
00:13:24,635 --> 00:13:26,004
is literally a one stop shop.
292
00:13:26,025 --> 00:13:28,354
You can record your episode
and just drop it off with them.
293
00:13:28,384 --> 00:13:29,265
And they take it from there.
294
00:13:29,314 --> 00:13:30,145
It's amazing.
295
00:13:30,869 --> 00:13:34,569
If you are interested in picking
up podcasting as a hobby, or maybe
296
00:13:34,569 --> 00:13:37,629
you're looking to expand your business
and use podcasting in that aspect.
297
00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:39,990
Talk to my friends over at Grow Your Show.
298
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,059
Adam will take care of you.
299
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:41,980
I guarantee it.
300
00:13:42,369 --> 00:13:43,009
I trust him.
301
00:13:43,019 --> 00:13:43,819
He's my friend.
302
00:13:43,859 --> 00:13:48,670
He's my business colleague and I
wouldn't trust anybody else with my show.
303
00:13:49,179 --> 00:13:49,869
Guys, welcome back.
304
00:13:49,890 --> 00:13:51,710
In the first part of the show, we
just spent some time getting to
305
00:13:51,710 --> 00:13:55,850
know who Anson Whitmore is, what
he's about and connecting with.
306
00:13:56,625 --> 00:14:00,245
who we are in life right now in this
part of the show we're going to dive
307
00:14:00,245 --> 00:14:02,935
into men's mental health and a lot
of you know that I'm very passionate
308
00:14:02,935 --> 00:14:06,810
about this topic I don't think It's
something we talk about openly in the
309
00:14:06,810 --> 00:14:10,060
community of men, near enough, and
it needs to be a normal conversation.
310
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,070
So we're going to get
into that with Anson.
311
00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:16,699
But first, we're going to ask Anson,
tell us, tell us the story, right?
312
00:14:16,710 --> 00:14:19,740
Because you've, you're a
neuroscientist, you've got apps,
313
00:14:19,779 --> 00:14:22,440
like this is, tell us about you.
314
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:27,479
Yeah, yeah, I, I don't really set out.
315
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:33,130
To work on men's mental health,
uh, in particular, but really
316
00:14:33,130 --> 00:14:37,410
looking back on it, it's just such a
logical next step for me to go here.
317
00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:41,080
I, my whole career, I've been
working in mental health really.
318
00:14:41,209 --> 00:14:46,669
And it started in many ways when I
was 19, my uncle who had been living
319
00:14:46,670 --> 00:14:51,700
with us to help us through tough times
when I was a kid at 19, when I was
320
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:56,600
19, he killed himself, uh, and that's
why I got my PhD in neuroscience.
321
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,650
Uh, I want to understand
why people like my uncle.
322
00:14:59,125 --> 00:15:03,725
Couldn't let go of his childhood, how that
led to depression, and ultimately suicide.
323
00:15:04,075 --> 00:15:07,065
My research is really focused
on rumination, or just that
324
00:15:07,065 --> 00:15:10,024
repetitive thinking where you
just can't let go of things.
325
00:15:11,224 --> 00:15:15,014
I was at Stanford doing research
on depression and anxiety.
326
00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:19,644
What are the cognitive, neural,
genetic causes of it, and my
327
00:15:19,644 --> 00:15:21,739
cousin other side of the family.
328
00:15:22,199 --> 00:15:23,340
He reached out to me.
329
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:29,510
I hadn't heard from him for a couple in
a few years and, uh, I didn't realize
330
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,989
from the message that he'd left that
it was a call for help and I didn't
331
00:15:32,989 --> 00:15:36,229
get back to him in time because a few
days later he killed himself as well.
332
00:15:37,099 --> 00:15:41,800
Uh, and that is what motivated me
in a major way to leave academia.
333
00:15:42,979 --> 00:15:45,339
Uh, we were just making tremendous
strides in understanding.
334
00:15:45,925 --> 00:15:48,235
What are the causes of mental illness?
335
00:15:48,704 --> 00:15:51,935
Um, but we're just doing so
little to scale up its solutions.
336
00:15:52,004 --> 00:15:56,954
Um, there's just not a strong seat of
academics, solutions, or moving fast.
337
00:15:57,204 --> 00:16:00,694
So for a dependent academia to do
this, I really believe it is going
338
00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:01,895
to take another hundred years.
339
00:16:01,934 --> 00:16:04,825
Um, so how do, how do
we move more quickly?
340
00:16:04,825 --> 00:16:07,164
And, um, that was a big
motivation going into tech.
341
00:16:08,154 --> 00:16:10,594
Um, and tech moves fast.
342
00:16:10,614 --> 00:16:11,904
They know how to scale things up.
343
00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:14,604
If there's a solution, they get it
into the hands of millions of people.
344
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:20,469
And I ended up joining, uh, CALM, a
mental health app, meditation app,
345
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:24,109
uh, as the founding data scientist.
346
00:16:24,140 --> 00:16:27,260
I was already pretty deep in machine
learning, AI kind of stuff, um,
347
00:16:27,269 --> 00:16:31,425
from my research, and I was employee
number 10, my co founder at Mental.
348
00:16:31,465 --> 00:16:32,795
He was the founding engineer.
349
00:16:33,005 --> 00:16:36,035
Basically built Calm with his bare hands.
350
00:16:36,035 --> 00:16:38,475
I think he wrote like 80 percent
of the code base over there.
351
00:16:38,535 --> 00:16:44,815
Um, and we, uh, you know, I
knew from research how much
352
00:16:44,844 --> 00:16:46,045
meditation could help you.
353
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:51,114
Back then it was still looked at
as pretty kind of niche and weird.
354
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:54,020
Um, We struggled to get
fundraising early on.
355
00:16:54,030 --> 00:16:57,780
One investor said, uh, meditation,
someone only done on college
356
00:16:57,780 --> 00:16:59,120
campuses and at Burning Man.
357
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:03,450
Um, and this is like 2017.
358
00:17:03,549 --> 00:17:06,089
Uh, so it's still kind
of really like woo woo.
359
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:09,029
Even though the research was behind
it, just nobody has spent the
360
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:13,209
time to make it feel more normal,
more commercial or mainstream.
361
00:17:13,209 --> 00:17:17,950
And it was a really big thing that we did
at Calm is we just kind of took away all
362
00:17:17,950 --> 00:17:20,370
those, those oddities are things that are.
363
00:17:20,945 --> 00:17:23,665
We're unusual to the American
culture and Western cultures
364
00:17:23,735 --> 00:17:25,795
made it more normal when we grew.
365
00:17:25,805 --> 00:17:31,355
We got tons of people in a meditation
millions Sometimes I would tell the head
366
00:17:31,355 --> 00:17:35,985
of UA user acquisition at home I was
like, I think maybe you got more people
367
00:17:35,985 --> 00:17:44,595
to meditate than anyone in the history of
humankind and So we were just, you know,
368
00:17:44,635 --> 00:17:48,905
proud of the work we did there, but it
was always just really clear, uh, that we
369
00:17:48,905 --> 00:17:50,445
were struggling to get through to guys.
370
00:17:51,435 --> 00:17:55,015
I look at the space, and it's
just clear, generally, we are
371
00:17:55,015 --> 00:17:56,505
struggling to get through to guys.
372
00:17:57,055 --> 00:17:59,944
There's, you know, men are
less likely to do therapy.
373
00:18:00,164 --> 00:18:02,205
You look at mental health app space.
374
00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:05,095
There's one report saying there's
been 20, 000 mental health apps
375
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:08,905
built, uh, basically since like
2017, which is pretty wild.
376
00:18:09,335 --> 00:18:13,595
Uh, and You know, a lot have been
built explicitly for women, so they're
377
00:18:13,595 --> 00:18:14,815
not getting it through to guys.
378
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:18,535
Uh, all the general use ones out there,
a lot of them are being used two to
379
00:18:18,535 --> 00:18:20,605
three times more by women than men.
380
00:18:20,665 --> 00:18:23,495
And if you look at their social
medias, the tools used, etc.
381
00:18:24,175 --> 00:18:28,074
Even though they say they're for a general
audience, they're pretty female centric,
382
00:18:28,145 --> 00:18:33,405
uh, when you look at it and, and the
problem to me, uh, you know, as I left
383
00:18:33,425 --> 00:18:40,145
home and started thinking about next steps
is men are 80 percent of suicides, mental
384
00:18:40,145 --> 00:18:45,475
health issues is Probably the biggest
cause of death in men under the age of 45.
385
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:48,005
We have a real mental health crisis.
386
00:18:48,635 --> 00:18:51,925
And if we don't figure out a way
to get through guys, we're never
387
00:18:51,925 --> 00:18:53,435
going to resolve a suicide crisis.
388
00:18:53,495 --> 00:18:55,155
This just won't happen.
389
00:18:55,835 --> 00:19:01,175
And we keep thinking these one size
fits all solutions are going to do it.
390
00:19:01,550 --> 00:19:04,700
But men's culture around mental
health, it is just different from
391
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:06,170
women's culture around mental health.
392
00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:10,600
We need different approaches, we
need different solutions, we need to
393
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:14,529
meet men where they're at instead of
expecting them to kind of come over
394
00:19:15,329 --> 00:19:17,329
and change before they get the help.
395
00:19:17,329 --> 00:19:19,959
This kind of weird catch
22 that exists right now.
396
00:19:20,469 --> 00:19:24,560
Um, and I think if we could follow that
kind of research on how to do it, uh,
397
00:19:24,669 --> 00:19:28,629
we can connect with men, we can help
them, and we can make a huge difference.
398
00:19:28,955 --> 00:19:32,715
And we ultimately will see
the suicide rate go down.
399
00:19:32,804 --> 00:19:38,135
And I think we're right now on this
precipice, where it's, you know,
400
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:41,354
five, ten years ago, it was weird
for men to think about mental health.
401
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:44,385
And I think now they're,
they're doing so a lot more.
402
00:19:44,385 --> 00:19:47,485
And I think in another five years
or so, it's going to be normal
403
00:19:47,495 --> 00:19:49,995
for guys to be doing stuff to
work on their mental health.
404
00:19:50,324 --> 00:19:54,675
They will actively realize
that it is important to work
405
00:19:54,675 --> 00:19:56,065
on it in a daily sort of way.
406
00:19:56,065 --> 00:20:01,190
So I think we're seeing this real Cultural
massive cultural shift happening and
407
00:20:01,570 --> 00:20:05,199
I believe mental app we're building
now the first mental health app built
408
00:20:05,199 --> 00:20:08,929
for men is going to be a brand that's
going to help push us over that
409
00:20:08,929 --> 00:20:12,639
tipping point and create this change
that I think we so desperately need.
410
00:20:14,469 --> 00:20:15,589
And so I'm going to say it.
411
00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:18,549
So, so, you know, that
way it's not on you.
412
00:20:18,749 --> 00:20:20,990
Um, it's my opinion and right.
413
00:20:21,030 --> 00:20:24,000
I'm just me guys, you know, I,
I'm opinionated about everything.
414
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,550
Uh, it's my opinion.
415
00:20:27,090 --> 00:20:30,640
based on conversations with other
mental health, uh, individuals, people
416
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:36,490
who specialize in mental health, that
most current forms of therapy or mental
417
00:20:36,490 --> 00:20:41,100
health treatment are actually geared more
around the way women's brains process
418
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:43,420
things and the way that women think.
419
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,219
Now, I know women can think however
they want, men can think however,
420
00:20:47,540 --> 00:20:50,930
but there is an instinctive way that
men and women prefer to deal with
421
00:20:50,940 --> 00:20:53,200
different stresses and different things.
422
00:20:53,895 --> 00:21:00,485
And that face to face cuddly conversation
that this traditional talk therapy is
423
00:21:00,485 --> 00:21:02,975
really not something that's aimed at men.
424
00:21:02,975 --> 00:21:07,605
That's not the way men process
things has been my experience.
425
00:21:09,175 --> 00:21:13,334
Do you think that has to do
with why we're having a, let
426
00:21:13,334 --> 00:21:15,624
me ask, do you, do you agree?
427
00:21:15,624 --> 00:21:19,725
Is there actually some kind of founding
behind my opinion on that or not?
428
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:22,000
Yeah, there's, there's a lot there.
429
00:21:22,010 --> 00:21:26,740
There's, uh, there are reasons to say
that the current therapeutic approach
430
00:21:26,740 --> 00:21:29,430
is female oriented, female centric.
431
00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:35,680
I mean, men, when they're stressed
about something, tend to prefer to try
432
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:40,220
to solve whatever is stressing them,
uh, while women are more likely to
433
00:21:40,230 --> 00:21:45,270
want to talk about how they feel about
being stressed, and therapy is a little
434
00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:47,030
bit more geared towards the latter.
435
00:21:47,380 --> 00:21:51,960
I think if you had If the mental health
profession was really built for men,
436
00:21:52,140 --> 00:21:55,430
instead of just being pure therapists,
they would be therapists slash coaches.
437
00:21:55,740 --> 00:21:59,940
As for example, you know, one classic
case is a guy who is struggling to
438
00:21:59,940 --> 00:22:04,490
get a job and, uh, goes to see a
therapist and therapists say, well,
439
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:06,590
how do you feel about not having a job?
440
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,049
And he's like, well, I feel like I
want to get a job, help me get a job.
441
00:22:10,019 --> 00:22:11,249
And that's kind of a coach, right?
442
00:22:11,259 --> 00:22:13,580
Like what are the steps you need
to take, holding you accountable,
443
00:22:13,580 --> 00:22:14,590
making sure it happens.
444
00:22:15,180 --> 00:22:19,240
But a therapist And then also go deeper
if there's a blocker there, you know,
445
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,130
the way you're showing up in interviews.
446
00:22:21,170 --> 00:22:24,390
Uh, if you're avoiding different
things, what's causing that?
447
00:22:24,420 --> 00:22:29,860
And so they're able to go deep, but
where you meet the man at is around
448
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,960
solving a problem and taking actions.
449
00:22:31,989 --> 00:22:33,179
That's the first step.
450
00:22:33,370 --> 00:22:36,749
And then you only kind of go deeper
into the other stuff if it's necessary
451
00:22:36,809 --> 00:22:40,600
versus We're going to prioritize
all the feeling part, that's the
452
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,500
first thing, and we'll always start
there, and we won't really even
453
00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:45,580
necessarily do any of the coaching bit.
454
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,549
Um, so yeah, that, that's part of it,
and what you're talking about, that face
455
00:22:49,549 --> 00:22:54,770
to face kind of thing, I mean that's
also really well known, is that, um,
456
00:22:55,069 --> 00:22:59,760
women tend to bond, are more likely to
bond face to face in conversations, uh,
457
00:22:59,770 --> 00:23:03,890
sharing, uh, feelings and how they're
working with, uh, relationships, etc.
458
00:23:04,509 --> 00:23:08,060
Men tend to bond in a way that's more
shoulder to shoulder, uh, where you're
459
00:23:08,070 --> 00:23:13,360
doing an activity together, uh, that
actually makes men more likely to
460
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,430
open up and share different things.
461
00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:19,730
Uh, if, we almost feel overly exposed
if we're sitting across from each other,
462
00:23:19,730 --> 00:23:22,220
making eye contact in ways that we don't.
463
00:23:22,289 --> 00:23:25,730
I mean, you take guys driving in a car
even, shoulder to shoulder, they're
464
00:23:25,730 --> 00:23:28,590
able to have deeper conversations
than they can if they're sitting
465
00:23:28,590 --> 00:23:30,510
across the table from each other.
466
00:23:30,570 --> 00:23:35,695
Um, but, so, when we think as well
about how to deal with, Loneliness and
467
00:23:35,695 --> 00:23:39,205
man, it's not necessarily just going to
these deep conversations is first and
468
00:23:39,205 --> 00:23:43,345
foremost, you know What are activities
that could bring us together to bond us
469
00:23:43,764 --> 00:23:47,565
then we will open up kind of more deeper
conversations about hey What's going on
470
00:23:47,565 --> 00:23:53,574
in life, etc So what I'm hearing here
is man, if you if you're working on your
471
00:23:53,574 --> 00:23:58,984
psychology or therapy What I don't even
understand what licenses do what but
472
00:23:58,984 --> 00:24:02,244
if that's something you're interested
maybe you should also get certified
473
00:24:02,244 --> 00:24:06,235
as personal trainer and just open a
gym and And work side by side, right?
474
00:24:06,284 --> 00:24:07,205
That's therapy.
475
00:24:07,685 --> 00:24:09,835
Talk to me about how I
feel about bench pressing.
476
00:24:09,875 --> 00:24:10,294
We're good.
477
00:24:11,344 --> 00:24:13,725
I mean, there's, there's
a massive amount there.
478
00:24:13,834 --> 00:24:19,254
I mean, look, I want to be careful
because therapy is research
479
00:24:19,274 --> 00:24:21,734
based and proven to help you.
480
00:24:21,935 --> 00:24:23,734
It is extremely effective.
481
00:24:23,864 --> 00:24:28,384
Um, but it's also, I, I view
everything in the space as different.
482
00:24:28,805 --> 00:24:29,435
They're tools.
483
00:24:30,155 --> 00:24:31,824
They serve different purposes.
484
00:24:32,135 --> 00:24:36,564
And to me, therapy, as I just said,
like with that person can't find the
485
00:24:36,564 --> 00:24:40,485
job, if there's a blocker there, like
the way they're showing up or they're
486
00:24:40,495 --> 00:24:42,984
avoiding different things, therapy
can help you figure that kind of stuff
487
00:24:42,985 --> 00:24:46,985
out or say something bad did happen
to you or you're going through grief.
488
00:24:47,005 --> 00:24:47,894
You lost somebody.
489
00:24:47,895 --> 00:24:49,905
Um, therapy is really good there.
490
00:24:50,595 --> 00:24:51,509
But if you look at.
491
00:24:51,850 --> 00:24:54,410
Uh, mental health issues.
492
00:24:54,460 --> 00:24:58,960
We're seeing a huge increase in people
struggling with their mental health.
493
00:24:59,030 --> 00:25:02,180
I mean, 80 percent of people
say they're stressed frequently.
494
00:25:02,230 --> 00:25:07,500
Um, their rates of depression, anxiety
keep going up year by year, particularly
495
00:25:07,530 --> 00:25:09,400
when you look at it since 2010.
496
00:25:09,580 --> 00:25:10,870
We've seen a huge increase.
497
00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:12,090
What happened in 2010?
498
00:25:12,130 --> 00:25:13,010
Smartphones.
499
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:17,160
Uh, and you just look at through
history where we're at compared to
500
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,180
a hundred years ago, our lifestyle.
501
00:25:19,790 --> 00:25:21,670
It's so freaking different now.
502
00:25:21,779 --> 00:25:23,330
It has changed a ton.
503
00:25:23,429 --> 00:25:25,430
Um, we sit all day.
504
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,490
Even if you exercise three
times a week, most of us are
505
00:25:28,490 --> 00:25:29,800
sitting the rest of the day.
506
00:25:29,860 --> 00:25:31,569
And we're sitting inside
where we don't get sun.
507
00:25:31,570 --> 00:25:32,770
We get light at night time.
508
00:25:32,839 --> 00:25:36,210
You know, we eat bad food instead
of socializing with friends.
509
00:25:36,935 --> 00:25:39,385
Look at social media
and hit the like button.
510
00:25:39,425 --> 00:25:44,565
Uh, there's so many parts of modern
society, the pressures and way
511
00:25:44,565 --> 00:25:46,915
we need to live now that aren't
good for our mental health, but
512
00:25:46,915 --> 00:25:48,695
it's just what our lifestyle is.
513
00:25:48,875 --> 00:25:50,775
But we're paying the consequences for it.
514
00:25:51,494 --> 00:25:54,354
And, look, if you actually went
and saw a therapist and they were a
515
00:25:54,354 --> 00:25:59,314
good therapist, The way they would
start and, and if your issue is not
516
00:25:59,314 --> 00:26:01,024
like, Hey, I'm going to have a loss.
517
00:26:01,044 --> 00:26:02,605
You're just like, I
feel kind of depressed.
518
00:26:02,735 --> 00:26:05,454
They would ask you like, what's
going on with your lifestyle?
519
00:26:05,465 --> 00:26:06,274
How are you eating?
520
00:26:06,315 --> 00:26:07,764
You know, are you socializing?
521
00:26:07,824 --> 00:26:13,524
And they would start by trying to fix the
lifestyle issues before they go into any
522
00:26:13,524 --> 00:26:16,184
kind of deep seated trauma, et cetera.
523
00:26:16,574 --> 00:26:18,334
And so to your point of.
524
00:26:18,575 --> 00:26:22,655
Lifting weights, going to the gym
and talking to somebody, well, yeah,
525
00:26:23,075 --> 00:26:28,275
exercising and socializing and being
present with other people and off
526
00:26:28,275 --> 00:26:30,615
your screens, massive difference.
527
00:26:30,625 --> 00:26:34,234
If you're not doing that and
you feel bad, you feel stressed,
528
00:26:34,235 --> 00:26:36,054
anxious, depressed, start there.
529
00:26:36,524 --> 00:26:40,175
There's a really good chance that that is
going to alleviate most of your issues.
530
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,550
If it doesn't and you fix other
parts of your lifestyle, eating well,
531
00:26:43,570 --> 00:26:46,520
getting off your screen more, etc,
and you're still struggling, okay,
532
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,250
maybe that's the time where you need
to go deeper and go see a therapist.
533
00:26:49,670 --> 00:26:52,290
But it's just kind of a
tool in where do you start.
534
00:26:52,350 --> 00:26:55,200
And I think for a lot of guys
out there, they're pretty open to
535
00:26:55,210 --> 00:26:58,100
starting with the lifestyle changes,
starting with changes with their
536
00:26:58,445 --> 00:27:00,225
How physical they are in exercise.
537
00:27:00,425 --> 00:27:03,625
They're just a little bit more
hesitant about going into talk therapy.
538
00:27:04,435 --> 00:27:08,675
Um, and I should, because I can, I can
come across pretty harsh on talk therapy.
539
00:27:08,725 --> 00:27:11,525
I'm not saying talk therapy
is not effective, gentlemen.
540
00:27:11,615 --> 00:27:14,105
I mean, let me be really clear
about this, because I don't want
541
00:27:14,105 --> 00:27:16,685
to discourage somebody from going
when they need to talk to somebody.
542
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:24,760
I'm saying, are suggesting that to
start those conversations with men,
543
00:27:25,660 --> 00:27:32,049
there may be a more effective tipping
point to start that work together.
544
00:27:33,159 --> 00:27:38,840
I think, uh, like a therapist, we'd
get a lot farther started going on a
545
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:43,020
walk and talking to somebody, right.
546
00:27:43,050 --> 00:27:47,620
Getting out of the office, which is an
uncomfortable environment for men, getting
547
00:27:47,620 --> 00:27:51,329
out of the face and just going for a walk
and starting that conversation there.
548
00:27:52,264 --> 00:27:55,485
per se than the traditional,
let's dive into this in the office
549
00:27:55,495 --> 00:27:57,625
for, you know, clinical setting.
550
00:27:58,255 --> 00:28:00,774
Uh, I think that would
be less imposing on men.
551
00:28:01,125 --> 00:28:04,845
So I think that there is
absolutely a value to talk therapy.
552
00:28:05,905 --> 00:28:10,804
I think the initiation of that could
be done better in some circumstances.
553
00:28:11,054 --> 00:28:13,054
And I'm sure there's probably a
therapist out there who actually
554
00:28:13,054 --> 00:28:14,004
does something like that.
555
00:28:14,534 --> 00:28:14,994
Oh yeah.
556
00:28:15,084 --> 00:28:18,354
Uh, just my experience
with them was never.
557
00:28:19,340 --> 00:28:21,410
It was here's the chair.
558
00:28:21,670 --> 00:28:23,130
You're looking at me.
559
00:28:23,230 --> 00:28:23,410
Now.
560
00:28:23,410 --> 00:28:24,350
How do you feel about that?
561
00:28:24,350 --> 00:28:29,540
Dallin really feel like I want to throw
something at you right now, you know It's
562
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:35,589
not a healthy Start for me that way so
I have a slightly slanted guys I have
563
00:28:35,590 --> 00:28:37,949
been to a therapist a long time ago.
564
00:28:37,990 --> 00:28:40,340
It was not a really positive experience.
565
00:28:40,899 --> 00:28:43,875
It was a very traumatic Scenario.
566
00:28:44,435 --> 00:28:48,564
So part of it had to do with the
situation I was in and where I was
567
00:28:48,564 --> 00:28:49,855
in, I was in the military at the time.
568
00:28:49,855 --> 00:28:51,334
It was, it was a mess.
569
00:28:51,334 --> 00:28:53,824
So I'm probably a little shaded, but
I just think there's better ways to
570
00:28:53,830 --> 00:28:57,855
start that conversation with men that
are gonna let men open up better.
571
00:28:59,034 --> 00:28:59,304
Yeah.
572
00:28:59,304 --> 00:29:00,205
And that's, uh.
573
00:29:00,580 --> 00:29:05,110
So one of my team, he's a chair
of a psych department and a world
574
00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:06,340
expert in men's mental health.
575
00:29:06,409 --> 00:29:10,570
And a lot of his research is
how to get through to guys and
576
00:29:10,570 --> 00:29:12,429
talk to them the way that works.
577
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:16,739
Um, and I love his approach because
it is, uh, he builds off like a
578
00:29:16,739 --> 00:29:18,259
strength based approach to masculinity.
579
00:29:18,260 --> 00:29:21,824
So instead of like, Hey, masculinity
is He has all these problems, he's
580
00:29:22,094 --> 00:29:23,915
full of deficits, and he's toxic, etc.
581
00:29:23,935 --> 00:29:25,085
He doesn't do any of that.
582
00:29:25,105 --> 00:29:28,755
He's like, masculinity has
all these great sides to it.
583
00:29:28,844 --> 00:29:33,014
So I'm going to find ways to meet guys
there and assume that masculinity is good.
584
00:29:33,014 --> 00:29:37,155
And what are ways that you
could work if you're a therapist
585
00:29:37,175 --> 00:29:38,215
with men in a better way?
586
00:29:38,255 --> 00:29:41,145
And one is, yeah, go for
walks with, with men.
587
00:29:41,395 --> 00:29:42,665
It is a really effective way.
588
00:29:43,575 --> 00:29:48,264
Um, I think unfortunately, there's the
way training is done in grad schools,
589
00:29:48,304 --> 00:29:51,185
there's not enough work being done.
590
00:29:51,860 --> 00:29:56,820
across different programs to teach,
uh, up and coming therapists how
591
00:29:56,820 --> 00:29:57,919
to work with men in particular.
592
00:29:58,475 --> 00:30:03,675
Usually, in fact, there's kind of a,
uh, gendered work, uh, being done.
593
00:30:03,685 --> 00:30:08,705
It's really focused on, uh, working with
females and, and, and women's health,
594
00:30:09,925 --> 00:30:12,705
which in some ways is understandable
if you kind of look back on, you
595
00:30:12,705 --> 00:30:19,035
know, historical dynamics, but in
the mental health fashion, it's 75
596
00:30:19,035 --> 00:30:21,445
percent of therapists are female.
597
00:30:21,555 --> 00:30:26,980
Um, most of the clientele are female,
uh, most researchers in space are female.
598
00:30:27,010 --> 00:30:29,910
So it, it, the people involved
there are mostly female.
599
00:30:29,910 --> 00:30:33,110
So it's actually one space where
it's really clear that there needs to
600
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:36,980
be actual work done to the opposite
end, uh, of understanding men.
601
00:30:37,270 --> 00:30:39,870
Like an example of this is I think
a lot of therapists out there.
602
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:45,100
don't understand, uh, what
is a male form of depression.
603
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:50,090
Uh, there's traditional form of
depression, which is just, uh, it shows
604
00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:55,130
up where you have anhedonia, a lack
of pleasure, or you feel sad, etc.
605
00:30:55,950 --> 00:30:59,910
Um, but for men, and if you were
to measure that in men, they're,
606
00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:03,470
you know, way less likely to
ever become depressed than women.
607
00:31:03,900 --> 00:31:07,700
But research lately has gone, wait, how
does depression actually show up in men?
608
00:31:07,750 --> 00:31:08,890
And it shows up differently.
609
00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:13,920
It shows up by anger, irritation,
uh, men descending into risk
610
00:31:13,950 --> 00:31:17,580
taking, into substance abuse,
men descending into workaholism.
611
00:31:17,660 --> 00:31:21,260
Uh, there's different ways that
it shows up with men and there's
612
00:31:21,270 --> 00:31:22,700
an avoidance component to it.
613
00:31:23,090 --> 00:31:25,830
And so it doesn't show up
just as the pure sadness side.
614
00:31:26,380 --> 00:31:29,150
But the issue is, is that if
therapists haven't been trained to
615
00:31:29,150 --> 00:31:33,660
spot that, they might not see a guy
who's angry and look behind that
616
00:31:33,690 --> 00:31:36,970
anger and go, well, oh, it's sadness.
617
00:31:37,220 --> 00:31:38,940
Oh, there's depression underneath here.
618
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,090
That's what's happening.
619
00:31:40,730 --> 00:31:46,910
Uh, so I'm really strongly believe that
a big need we need to see if we're gonna
620
00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:51,400
improve men's mental health is that the
therapy industry in general needs to
621
00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:53,860
become more aware of gender differences.
622
00:31:54,245 --> 00:31:56,785
And there needs to be more training
of therapists out there about
623
00:31:56,785 --> 00:31:58,705
how to work with men for walks.
624
00:31:58,715 --> 00:32:02,785
Understand mild depression, understand
that there maybe needs to be an
625
00:32:02,795 --> 00:32:05,495
element of coaching that goes with
the therapy and there needs to be a
626
00:32:05,495 --> 00:32:06,895
little bit more flexibility there.
627
00:32:09,965 --> 00:32:15,130
Why, why has it been, I understand
that it's been traditionally More
628
00:32:15,130 --> 00:32:19,750
female involvement in, uh, becoming
therapists and stuff like that.
629
00:32:19,750 --> 00:32:25,730
And working in therapy, why is men's
mental health such a awkward subject?
630
00:32:26,310 --> 00:32:28,080
I mean, we can look at the stats.
631
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,280
I love stats.
632
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,500
I'm a, I'm a huge stat nerd when
it comes to things like this and
633
00:32:32,500 --> 00:32:36,510
we can see the stats and the stats
have been, I mean, especially when
634
00:32:36,510 --> 00:32:37,870
you start talking about suicide.
635
00:32:38,425 --> 00:32:44,085
Uh, and depression, anxiety, the
stats have been there for a, it's not
636
00:32:44,085 --> 00:32:45,435
a short number at this point, right?
637
00:32:45,435 --> 00:32:47,215
It's not a new issue.
638
00:32:48,205 --> 00:32:53,335
So why has it been such an awkward
conversation so far in your opinion?
639
00:32:54,865 --> 00:32:55,275
Yeah.
640
00:32:56,785 --> 00:32:56,985
Yeah.
641
00:32:56,985 --> 00:32:58,925
I mean, that's tough.
642
00:32:58,955 --> 00:33:03,905
It's, it is a little bit
infuriating that for so long,
643
00:33:03,905 --> 00:33:05,675
it's just kind of been dismissed.
644
00:33:06,155 --> 00:33:12,910
Uh, and I, I think there's this element
where, uh, There's a, a blame that gets
645
00:33:12,930 --> 00:33:20,380
placed on men, I, so it's like men with
the suicide, well, it's men's fault for
646
00:33:20,460 --> 00:33:27,470
not dealing with their mental health, um,
and there's an element where men have,
647
00:33:27,790 --> 00:33:32,570
uh, been socialized for a long times
to like, Hey, growing up, don't cry.
648
00:33:32,980 --> 00:33:34,480
I think that's kind of diminished.
649
00:33:34,490 --> 00:33:36,940
It's like, okay, it's not
actually that bad of a thing.
650
00:33:37,390 --> 00:33:40,930
Um, I think there's elements,
you know, where we've been
651
00:33:40,940 --> 00:33:42,370
taught to control our emotions.
652
00:33:43,115 --> 00:33:47,555
And there's a really good side to that
that enables you to perform, uh, makes
653
00:33:47,555 --> 00:33:51,055
you resilient and makes you tough in
certain situations, but it could also
654
00:33:51,055 --> 00:33:56,145
have a negative side, um, where there are
times where you need to process and let
655
00:33:56,145 --> 00:33:57,895
go of the control so you can handle it.
656
00:33:58,485 --> 00:34:00,955
Uh, and move past
different problem points.
657
00:34:01,465 --> 00:34:06,805
So, I think there's an element that
masculinity and men bring that to the
658
00:34:06,805 --> 00:34:10,915
table, and so they get blamed for not,
uh, dealing with their mental health,
659
00:34:10,955 --> 00:34:12,175
and so it's kind of their fault.
660
00:34:12,405 --> 00:34:17,965
Um, and instead of going,
well, what are we doing to help
661
00:34:18,045 --> 00:34:20,255
men deal with things better?
662
00:34:20,335 --> 00:34:23,615
What are we doing as a,
like a system to help them?
663
00:34:23,635 --> 00:34:27,065
How are we creating more solutions
that will fit with their needs?
664
00:34:27,615 --> 00:34:30,505
Um, instead of just telling them
to be different, why aren't we
665
00:34:30,505 --> 00:34:33,015
meeting them where they're at and
helping them from that point on?
666
00:34:33,675 --> 00:34:39,255
It's like, there's just some weird
cultural, kind of, war stuff that
667
00:34:39,255 --> 00:34:43,425
happens in here that makes it a little
bit hard to just do what I think is
668
00:34:43,425 --> 00:34:48,885
important, which is Help people who
are suffering, um, and ignore all that
669
00:34:48,885 --> 00:34:51,205
other crap and just focus on that.
670
00:34:52,565 --> 00:34:57,195
Um, we, we talk about stoicism
periodically here on the channel and I,
671
00:34:57,285 --> 00:35:00,095
I'm a big fan of several stoic principles.
672
00:35:00,605 --> 00:35:06,535
However, one of the holes in that is,
I think is a gift that men are able to
673
00:35:06,835 --> 00:35:08,965
control their responses, their emotions.
674
00:35:09,825 --> 00:35:13,845
Uh, I think it enables men to do a lot
of things they couldn't do otherwise.
675
00:35:13,865 --> 00:35:17,575
However, there's never the tail
end of that when we're like,
676
00:35:17,575 --> 00:35:21,045
you know, control your emotions,
control your responses to things.
677
00:35:21,505 --> 00:35:23,345
But we never finished that sentence.
678
00:35:24,335 --> 00:35:28,905
And find a healthy outlet to
process that with once you're
679
00:35:28,905 --> 00:35:31,435
out of that scenario, right?
680
00:35:31,805 --> 00:35:34,535
That was one of the things
my dad worked with me with.
681
00:35:34,535 --> 00:35:36,505
I had anger issues in junior high.
682
00:35:36,885 --> 00:35:37,675
I was bullied.
683
00:35:37,675 --> 00:35:38,815
I was the fat kid.
684
00:35:39,025 --> 00:35:44,214
And so I was bullied and I was picked on
and I developed some major anger issues.
685
00:35:44,745 --> 00:35:45,895
And I would go split wood.
686
00:35:45,905 --> 00:35:49,975
I get home from school, like drop my
bag and go outside and just split wood
687
00:35:50,535 --> 00:35:55,205
because I had to, it was the only way
I could not take someone's head off.
688
00:35:55,215 --> 00:35:59,305
Cause I was getting to the point
where you said the wrong thing to me.
689
00:35:59,305 --> 00:36:01,485
And like, I'd bounce you
off a hallway locker.
690
00:36:01,535 --> 00:36:04,885
Cause I would went through a growth spurt
and all of a sudden I was bigger than
691
00:36:04,885 --> 00:36:07,215
everybody and stronger than everybody.
692
00:36:07,950 --> 00:36:12,360
But I was already so angry so my dad
started just the best he could do because
693
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:16,490
he knew I wasn't ready to talk About
things was he gave me a physical outlet
694
00:36:16,510 --> 00:36:23,080
to blow off and let me work But I don't
think we have that conversation when we
695
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:28,970
talk about it in modern masculinity we
go control things, but we don't then say
696
00:36:29,510 --> 00:36:35,335
but you have to find that healthy outlet
for you to process a And deal with those
697
00:36:35,335 --> 00:36:38,055
emotions and those feelings, right?
698
00:36:38,055 --> 00:36:39,945
I think we're missing
part of that conversation.
699
00:36:40,465 --> 00:36:42,635
Yeah, this is so spot on.
700
00:36:42,705 --> 00:36:48,235
Um, yeah, I didn't, I appreciate you
bringing up stoicism and, you know,
701
00:36:48,285 --> 00:36:52,675
things like mental toughness, the
word mental toughness, particularly
702
00:36:52,675 --> 00:36:57,055
with men is almost like viewed as a
negative because it's like, oh, okay.
703
00:36:57,055 --> 00:36:58,945
That means, you know, men
are processing things.
704
00:36:58,945 --> 00:37:02,525
They're just trying to be tough, but
look at the research on mental toughness.
705
00:37:02,780 --> 00:37:06,420
It is hugely valuable to
be more mentally tough.
706
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:07,780
It makes you resilient to stress.
707
00:37:07,780 --> 00:37:09,390
It means you can perform under pressure.
708
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,700
It means you can accomplish
things that other people can't.
709
00:37:11,790 --> 00:37:17,780
It is, uh, something that we are actually
seeing a decrease in, in people over time.
710
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:19,800
I mean, it's something we should
be cultivating the opposite in.
711
00:37:20,010 --> 00:37:21,210
More mental toughness.
712
00:37:21,220 --> 00:37:22,260
It is good for society.
713
00:37:22,260 --> 00:37:22,950
It's good for you.
714
00:37:23,870 --> 00:37:28,740
Um, and so, and I, I think with men,
they're not hearing the message.
715
00:37:28,740 --> 00:37:32,000
This is kind of like a part of
masculinity, uh, that controlling
716
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,770
of the emotions and, uh, drive
towards that mental toughness.
717
00:37:35,870 --> 00:37:41,500
And it's, I feel like a part we should
appreciate and encourage, you know, when
718
00:37:41,500 --> 00:37:48,450
I also talk about masculinity, it's when
you look at research, um, different ideas
719
00:37:48,450 --> 00:37:51,200
of what it means to be a masculine man.
720
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,220
And, and, you know, there
could be traditional.
721
00:37:53,590 --> 00:37:57,490
Ideas masculinity conservative
progressive ideas masculinity.
722
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,760
There's all kinds of different
ideas what it means to be a man
723
00:38:01,270 --> 00:38:06,060
the research Doesn't show that any
single one of them is an issue.
724
00:38:06,270 --> 00:38:09,210
Um, traditional masculinity is fine.
725
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:14,140
The only way you get into problems with
any form of whatever your view is of
726
00:38:14,140 --> 00:38:18,820
masculinity is when you have a really
rigid take on what it means to be a man
727
00:38:18,870 --> 00:38:21,810
and that you always have to embody that.
728
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:25,580
So, hey, to be a man is to be
mentally tough and control emotions.
729
00:38:25,890 --> 00:38:29,560
That means a hundred percent of my
time, I always need to be mentally
730
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,980
tough and control my emotions.
731
00:38:32,060 --> 00:38:33,900
And that is just not the case.
732
00:38:33,970 --> 00:38:37,650
Uh, you know, one of our
protocols, we have a master chief,
733
00:38:37,710 --> 00:38:40,090
uh, Navy SEAL who teaches it.
734
00:38:40,170 --> 00:38:42,800
And he was talking about in combat.
735
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:46,820
He's like, you know, in combat, uh,
if someone breaks down and cries,
736
00:38:47,140 --> 00:38:49,040
uh, it's not going to go well.
737
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:50,570
Like, you can't do that.
738
00:38:51,550 --> 00:38:53,720
Uh, you need to be in
control of your emotions.
739
00:38:54,820 --> 00:39:00,760
You know, if you've lost a comrade and
you're like at the funeral, um, and that
740
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:05,020
is a moment where it might be actually
good for you to grieve and let go of some
741
00:39:05,020 --> 00:39:10,480
of those emotions and not be in emotional
control, because ultimately you then, um.
742
00:39:11,210 --> 00:39:16,760
You know, more fine with whatever is
happening in life, more present, more able
743
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:22,960
to, you know, continue living a good life
if you sometimes do let go of that control
744
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,010
and process and deal with those emotions.
745
00:39:25,300 --> 00:39:26,910
So I think it's just really important.
746
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:31,495
It's like, It doesn't matter what your
view of masculinity is and if mental
747
00:39:31,495 --> 00:39:36,455
toughness is good, but it's just, we need
to realize being flexible in situations.
748
00:39:36,605 --> 00:39:39,205
That's where we open up a
lot of doors for ourselves.
749
00:39:39,535 --> 00:39:43,665
And that's why I often talk about, Hey,
just view everything as a different tool.
750
00:39:43,705 --> 00:39:45,565
What's the right tool
for the right moment?
751
00:39:45,745 --> 00:39:51,035
Uh, sometimes the tool in the moment
is to let go and deal with those
752
00:39:51,035 --> 00:39:53,155
emotions of sadness from a loss.
753
00:39:55,155 --> 00:39:58,185
Have you heard, uh, the
song from Dax to be a man?
754
00:39:59,935 --> 00:40:02,195
It was making a circle on social
media a couple months ago.
755
00:40:02,795 --> 00:40:03,575
Yeah, I didn't hear it.
756
00:40:03,645 --> 00:40:06,815
Yeah, Darius Rucker, Darius
Rucker re recorded it with him.
757
00:40:06,825 --> 00:40:08,484
Like it was a great duet.
758
00:40:08,665 --> 00:40:11,585
You should go check it out because
it's dealing with that concept of
759
00:40:12,645 --> 00:40:16,835
what is a man in modern society and
the pressures on them and stuff.
760
00:40:17,185 --> 00:40:21,835
I think it would really resonate
with some of the work you're doing.
761
00:40:22,265 --> 00:40:24,175
Now guys, I want to be fully transparent.
762
00:40:25,055 --> 00:40:27,465
I use the mental app currently.
763
00:40:27,795 --> 00:40:32,085
Uh, Anson was generous enough to
help me get started with that.
764
00:40:32,115 --> 00:40:35,795
And I've been using it regularly and
I will give you guys a full review on
765
00:40:35,795 --> 00:40:39,445
that upcoming, uh, not in this show, of
course, I don't want to take up that time.
766
00:40:40,225 --> 00:40:41,505
But I am using it.
767
00:40:41,585 --> 00:40:46,475
I've been using it now for I want to
say six or seven weeks Awesome, and I
768
00:40:46,485 --> 00:40:50,695
absolutely love this app You've heard
me talk about it once or twice on social
769
00:40:50,695 --> 00:40:55,435
media if you follow me on Instagram
But in the next part of show we was
770
00:40:55,465 --> 00:40:58,815
we've been talking about mental health
in general right now in the next part
771
00:40:58,815 --> 00:41:02,475
of show I'm we're gonna talk a little
bit about mental and how it works.
772
00:41:02,765 --> 00:41:04,345
How is different then?
773
00:41:04,815 --> 00:41:06,915
Some of the other options
that are out there.
774
00:41:07,005 --> 00:41:11,335
Uh, I will tell you, I'm, I'm a believer
after using it for several weeks.
775
00:41:11,725 --> 00:41:13,575
I look forward to using it.
776
00:41:14,055 --> 00:41:15,275
Uh, I'm enjoying it.
777
00:41:15,345 --> 00:41:18,845
I've been testing out protocols because I
wanted to give you guys full information
778
00:41:18,845 --> 00:41:23,495
about it and have a working knowledge
of it before I had answered on the show.
779
00:41:24,045 --> 00:41:25,305
So we're going to dive
into that a little bit.
780
00:41:25,305 --> 00:41:27,035
We're going to dive into how you can.
781
00:41:27,445 --> 00:41:31,935
Work on your own mental health and why
you should as a man, uh, we're going
782
00:41:31,935 --> 00:41:35,105
to go to our sponsor and we'll be right
back with more from answering Whitmore.
783
00:41:35,855 --> 00:41:37,085
How well do you sleep at night?
784
00:41:37,195 --> 00:41:39,765
Do you toss and turn and wake up
more tired than when you went to bed?
785
00:41:40,315 --> 00:41:42,935
Sleep is commonly one of
the critical elements people
786
00:41:42,935 --> 00:41:44,235
fall short on in their life.
787
00:41:44,565 --> 00:41:47,415
The quality of sleep you get directly
affects your ability to control
788
00:41:47,415 --> 00:41:50,815
your weight, your ability to add
muscle, your stress levels, and your
789
00:41:50,855 --> 00:41:52,455
everyday job and life performance.
790
00:41:53,150 --> 00:41:57,170
If you're ready to move to the next level
and sleep has to be part of the plan.
791
00:41:57,710 --> 00:41:59,120
Check out our friends at ghostbed.
792
00:41:59,120 --> 00:41:59,410
com.
793
00:41:59,420 --> 00:42:01,870
If you're ready to get your
best sleep, I love my ghost bed.
794
00:42:01,870 --> 00:42:05,010
I've been sleeping on one for a
couple of years and has made a huge
795
00:42:05,010 --> 00:42:07,380
difference in how I sleep, hit ghostbed.
796
00:42:07,420 --> 00:42:07,670
com.
797
00:42:07,670 --> 00:42:11,690
Use the code, the fallible man, 30 to
get 30 percent off your order and start
798
00:42:11,690 --> 00:42:13,530
getting better night's sleep tomorrow.
799
00:42:14,570 --> 00:42:17,020
Now let's go on to the show guys.
800
00:42:17,020 --> 00:42:18,490
Welcome back in the last part of the show.
801
00:42:18,500 --> 00:42:21,100
We've been diving into men's
mental health, which is.
802
00:42:21,525 --> 00:42:25,895
As you know, we believe is a really
important topic here on the show and
803
00:42:25,975 --> 00:42:32,755
Anson is just giving us a ton, a ton
of value in this, in this part of the
804
00:42:32,755 --> 00:42:37,465
show, we're going to talk a little bit
about the approach that they are taking
805
00:42:37,475 --> 00:42:39,355
with the middle of the mental app.
806
00:42:40,205 --> 00:42:42,635
I almost blurred that into one
word, the mental health app
807
00:42:42,685 --> 00:42:45,405
and I would get that right.
808
00:42:45,445 --> 00:42:45,725
Yep.
809
00:42:45,825 --> 00:42:46,055
Yeah.
810
00:42:47,045 --> 00:42:47,605
Kind of intentional.
811
00:42:48,115 --> 00:42:48,895
A different approach.
812
00:42:48,915 --> 00:42:54,215
Cause like it fascinated me when I
first got in contact with you guys, you
813
00:42:54,215 --> 00:42:56,615
said your first hire was a comedian.
814
00:42:58,125 --> 00:43:00,515
This is not something we generally
associate with mental health.
815
00:43:00,615 --> 00:43:02,235
So you instantly had my attention.
816
00:43:02,470 --> 00:43:06,900
It's like, wait, how does that work?
817
00:43:07,010 --> 00:43:09,810
So you guys are coming at a
totally different approach
818
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:11,890
aimed specifically at men.
819
00:43:12,340 --> 00:43:15,210
I already told you guys, I'm
having an incredible experience.
820
00:43:15,240 --> 00:43:18,020
I'm loving using this app
as part of my daily life.
821
00:43:18,570 --> 00:43:21,500
Uh, there are days I miss it because
I get busy and I tend to send my
822
00:43:21,500 --> 00:43:25,550
phone to the side and just focus on
editing or whatever I've got that day.
823
00:43:26,060 --> 00:43:32,340
And I actually noticed the days I don't
use it now after using it for, uh,
824
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:35,820
seven, eight weeks, I actually take note.
825
00:43:35,860 --> 00:43:37,670
My brain's like, you didn't do that today.
826
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,780
So I'm having a really great experience
with this, but tell us a little bit
827
00:43:43,790 --> 00:43:45,680
about this approach you guys are taking.
828
00:43:46,615 --> 00:43:46,975
Yeah.
829
00:43:47,795 --> 00:43:48,805
Yeah, definitely.
830
00:43:48,995 --> 00:43:54,525
Uh, only the only mental health company
app or anyone in the space who made
831
00:43:54,525 --> 00:43:56,485
hiring a comedian their first hire.
832
00:43:58,145 --> 00:43:59,795
And it's mental health.
833
00:43:59,815 --> 00:44:02,485
I mean, everyone here
has heard my story now.
834
00:44:03,105 --> 00:44:07,695
Mental health issues can be serious,
um, but it doesn't always have to be
835
00:44:07,695 --> 00:44:11,935
so damn serious, uh, and it's, I think
also you want to get through to guys,
836
00:44:11,955 --> 00:44:16,215
it can't be, you know, when I talk to my
buddies about what's going on with me,
837
00:44:16,235 --> 00:44:20,145
we always bring some amount of levity
and humor to it, it's just our way of
838
00:44:20,145 --> 00:44:24,225
talking about this kind of stuff, and,
but I also just think about it, it's like,
839
00:44:24,875 --> 00:44:30,390
man, All serious and boring and would I
prefer to do that or go look at social
840
00:44:30,390 --> 00:44:32,240
media or all the other things I could do?
841
00:44:32,240 --> 00:44:35,810
There's a lot of competition for
our attention right now And I think
842
00:44:35,820 --> 00:44:40,510
about like a brand like Liquid Death
who took something like water that
843
00:44:40,510 --> 00:44:44,460
was just like boring and serious
They made it fun and entertaining.
844
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,950
I'm like, why doesn't someone do
this in the mental health space?
845
00:44:46,950 --> 00:44:49,940
It's just like why can't we just
make it a little bit more fun?
846
00:44:50,285 --> 00:44:53,325
If you want guys to do stuff here
every day, it's got to be fun.
847
00:44:53,545 --> 00:44:56,385
If it's just serious, hard
work, you're only going to
848
00:44:56,385 --> 00:44:57,745
get through to so many folks.
849
00:44:58,295 --> 00:45:03,525
Um, so yeah, that's a big part and,
and a big part, probably already
850
00:45:03,635 --> 00:45:05,975
picking up on some of the ways that
we're approaching it differently of
851
00:45:06,005 --> 00:45:09,825
like thinking from the ground floor,
you know, what are men's needs?
852
00:45:09,825 --> 00:45:12,445
How do we meet them where they're
at and build them up from there?
853
00:45:12,655 --> 00:45:16,510
Um, And some of it is, you know,
guys are pretty open to tweaking
854
00:45:16,510 --> 00:45:19,780
their lifestyle and lifestyle
issues are such a major factor.
855
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:25,530
So there's one part of the app that's
just all kind of content, uh, media that
856
00:45:25,530 --> 00:45:30,045
is, uh, We call it a mental tainment
platform or entertainment for your mind,
857
00:45:30,115 --> 00:45:34,375
uh, it's supposed to fit seamlessly into
your daily routine to kind of just tweak
858
00:45:34,455 --> 00:45:36,285
what those routines are in a better way.
859
00:45:36,735 --> 00:45:40,155
Tongue in Cheek V1 of, uh,
the app was built around men's
860
00:45:40,225 --> 00:45:42,325
shit, shower, and shave routine.
861
00:45:42,465 --> 00:45:45,375
Um, so you have like the two
minutes of the daily deuce.
862
00:45:45,375 --> 00:45:49,065
So, uh, instead of doom
scrolling away your daily deuce,
863
00:45:49,205 --> 00:45:50,525
listen to the daily deuce.
864
00:45:50,555 --> 00:45:53,585
Uh, get a little bit of wisdom,
motivation, encouragement.
865
00:45:54,365 --> 00:45:58,975
I think of it almost like a microdose
of just mindset shift, where it's just
866
00:45:59,055 --> 00:46:02,675
a little story each day that pushes
your mind in the right direction,
867
00:46:03,215 --> 00:46:07,175
even if you've, if it's a lesson
you've heard before, rehearing it,
868
00:46:07,175 --> 00:46:11,675
it's just so important to have just a
little bit of good words in your mind
869
00:46:11,675 --> 00:46:15,995
ringing through your, through your
morning, um, cold shower protocol.
870
00:46:16,665 --> 00:46:17,565
I just love this.
871
00:46:19,545 --> 00:46:20,715
I'm on this guys.
872
00:46:20,775 --> 00:46:21,015
It's.
873
00:46:22,490 --> 00:46:25,040
And, and you got like the best
person in the world, like this,
874
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:28,820
the honest to God, I would not have
done this with you had found anybody
875
00:46:28,820 --> 00:46:30,320
else to oversee this protocol.
876
00:46:30,990 --> 00:46:31,400
Amazing.
877
00:46:31,810 --> 00:46:32,740
Please share that.
878
00:46:33,410 --> 00:46:33,760
Yeah.
879
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:34,050
Yeah.
880
00:46:34,100 --> 00:46:37,390
He's, uh, uh, about to start
recording more content with us.
881
00:46:37,390 --> 00:46:39,730
He's a master chief Navy SEAL.
882
00:46:40,710 --> 00:46:44,800
So this is guided, uh, cold shower
protocol where you actually press the
883
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:48,390
start button before you get into a hot
shower, um, so you do a normal shower and
884
00:46:48,390 --> 00:46:53,330
then he kind of starts talking as you're,
you know, finish up your hot shower.
885
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:56,040
You could set the time of how
long you want to do hot and then
886
00:46:56,050 --> 00:46:59,420
builds you up to turn the handle
to cold and just starts really easy
887
00:46:59,430 --> 00:47:01,210
habit formation, just showing up.
888
00:47:01,475 --> 00:47:06,255
5 seconds of cold water and it builds
up slowly over time to do it more cold.
889
00:47:06,845 --> 00:47:12,685
Uh, but everyday he gives you a mental
tool that's either from the seals or kind
890
00:47:12,685 --> 00:47:17,315
of, uh, mental health, uh, neuroscience,
mental health industry generally.
891
00:47:17,995 --> 00:47:22,505
But the tool's about how to handle
the stress and difficulty of
892
00:47:22,505 --> 00:47:24,055
something hard like cold water.
893
00:47:24,455 --> 00:47:27,875
And so you use that tool right
in the moment to handle the cold
894
00:47:27,915 --> 00:47:29,735
and it makes it a lot easier.
895
00:47:30,165 --> 00:47:35,145
Um, but you're also having to laugh the
same of comedian we have like pops in, uh,
896
00:47:35,155 --> 00:47:40,145
for different episodes and, uh, and he's
not a drill sergeant just yelling at you.
897
00:47:40,175 --> 00:47:44,335
There's amazing stories of his
time in combat, but also his time
898
00:47:44,335 --> 00:47:47,535
building out the warrior toughness
program for the, for the Navy.
899
00:47:47,535 --> 00:47:48,595
And, uh, there's.
900
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:53,790
It's entertaining, but really what
I is just so cool about is you
901
00:47:53,790 --> 00:47:58,310
ultimately you're training on your
stress to handle stress differently.
902
00:47:58,610 --> 00:48:00,660
And what we hear from
a lot of folks is that.
903
00:48:01,340 --> 00:48:06,050
Uh, every day kind of stress, like kids
yelling in the backseat, they're on a date
904
00:48:06,050 --> 00:48:07,590
or interviewing or something like that.
905
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:10,080
They just show up really differently.
906
00:48:10,110 --> 00:48:15,130
These kind of mental tools that they learn
turn on, uh, they stay relaxed, they stay
907
00:48:15,130 --> 00:48:17,120
focused and they handle themselves better.
908
00:48:17,170 --> 00:48:22,210
Um, and this is the part, we had a guy
write in recently, he said, um, He's a
909
00:48:22,210 --> 00:48:27,200
teacher and there was a school shooting
situation that happened and ended up
910
00:48:27,210 --> 00:48:33,630
being a false alarm But he said there's
three tools from the protocol That just
911
00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:38,740
all naturally turned on in the moment
He was like I handled myself the way I
912
00:48:38,740 --> 00:48:42,400
wanted to handle myself in front of my
students that I was the leader I wanted
913
00:48:42,410 --> 00:48:45,840
to be in that situation in ways that I
just would not have been two months ago
914
00:48:46,470 --> 00:48:49,110
And then we're like, you can amaze it.
915
00:48:49,370 --> 00:48:52,050
Um, yeah.
916
00:48:52,130 --> 00:48:56,100
And so that's, uh, that part of the
app is lifestyle kind of changes.
917
00:48:56,100 --> 00:49:02,940
And, um, and then we also have, uh,
AI coach, um, who can go deeper, uh,
918
00:49:02,940 --> 00:49:08,260
into what's going on with you if you're
kind of struggling, but also is more
919
00:49:08,260 --> 00:49:09,730
focused on what are the solutions?
920
00:49:09,730 --> 00:49:11,060
How do we work towards problems?
921
00:49:11,060 --> 00:49:15,220
And, and the AI is, uh, an AI
version of a legendary guy, like.
922
00:49:15,580 --> 00:49:20,180
Bruce Lee, uh, Bob Marley, Muhammad
Ali, the dude, Big Lebowski,
923
00:49:20,180 --> 00:49:23,520
uh, And they could talk to you
about whatever's stressing you.
924
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:27,640
And we have one, uh, conversation
you could do in particular where it's
925
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:28,890
like, Hey, I'm just feeling stressed.
926
00:49:28,970 --> 00:49:30,170
Help me take the edge off it.
927
00:49:30,290 --> 00:49:35,340
And guys report 32 percent decreases in
stress in just a 3 4 minute conversation.
928
00:49:35,980 --> 00:49:38,260
Um, which is pretty fucking amazing.
929
00:49:39,340 --> 00:49:41,320
And so, you could also go deeper.
930
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:44,535
And to us, It enables you to kind
of change your lifestyle, but if
931
00:49:44,545 --> 00:49:48,025
things pop up and you need to go
deeper, we also got you there.
932
00:49:48,055 --> 00:49:51,585
It's just kind of more of a full
solution to dealing with mental health.
933
00:49:52,725 --> 00:49:57,345
Guys, it's, it's very, you don't
feel awkward because it doesn't,
934
00:49:57,355 --> 00:50:01,665
it doesn't feel like someone's like
trying to get in touch with your
935
00:50:01,665 --> 00:50:07,255
feelings or it doesn't feel like our
preconceived notions of mental health.
936
00:50:08,255 --> 00:50:08,835
Right.
937
00:50:09,045 --> 00:50:13,095
Uh, from Hollywood, from our exposure
on TV and stuff like that, we, we
938
00:50:13,095 --> 00:50:17,205
all have that talk therapy, couch
therapist, picture in our head.
939
00:50:17,685 --> 00:50:19,055
You start talking about therapy.
940
00:50:19,055 --> 00:50:20,275
That's what you see in your head.
941
00:50:20,575 --> 00:50:24,495
Like I, I challenge you, I, I
swear, just, I challenge you.
942
00:50:27,085 --> 00:50:30,455
If I say therapy, what picture
jumps into your head right now?
943
00:50:31,235 --> 00:50:31,805
Guarantee.
944
00:50:31,805 --> 00:50:32,255
It's that.
945
00:50:32,755 --> 00:50:33,465
Sopranos.
946
00:50:33,885 --> 00:50:34,415
Yeah.
947
00:50:35,155 --> 00:50:35,675
It's a prank.
948
00:50:36,265 --> 00:50:36,645
What?
949
00:50:37,270 --> 00:50:42,210
We have been, what's the right word?
950
00:50:42,530 --> 00:50:46,150
Conditioned to think of by Hollywood.
951
00:50:47,230 --> 00:50:49,140
Whether it's televisions or
movies, that's what we've been
952
00:50:49,140 --> 00:50:51,020
conditioned to conceive of.
953
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:52,710
This is therapy, right?
954
00:50:52,830 --> 00:50:54,100
It doesn't feel like that.
955
00:50:54,460 --> 00:50:57,930
Like, I look forward to
listening to the Daily Deuce.
956
00:50:58,350 --> 00:50:59,750
It's freaking hilarious.
957
00:51:00,230 --> 00:51:02,060
Uh, there are times it's touching.
958
00:51:02,590 --> 00:51:07,290
Uh, background Christmas, you guys
had one where it talked about, you
959
00:51:07,290 --> 00:51:11,730
know, the truce going on between
two sets of freezing soldiers.
960
00:51:12,385 --> 00:51:16,685
And like, I, I teared up a little
bit, like it was just a beautiful
961
00:51:16,925 --> 00:51:24,435
story, but it also, then you turn it
around and implied it to me, you don't
962
00:51:24,485 --> 00:51:28,535
feel like you're doing therapy, but
like I said, I do actually feel the
963
00:51:28,535 --> 00:51:29,985
difference on the days I don't use it.
964
00:51:30,735 --> 00:51:32,105
I notice I'm not doing it.
965
00:51:33,025 --> 00:51:37,525
And the way you guys have set up
the protocols, like, so I know
966
00:51:37,525 --> 00:51:41,535
the science behind cold water
exposure for like athletic recovery.
967
00:51:41,535 --> 00:51:42,715
I am a personal trainer.
968
00:51:43,095 --> 00:51:45,025
Uh, I grew up as an athlete.
969
00:51:45,465 --> 00:51:48,175
And so like, I mean, even when I
was younger, I remember seeing the
970
00:51:48,195 --> 00:51:52,065
ice tubs at like college campuses
and stuff like that, high schools.
971
00:51:52,775 --> 00:51:56,945
Uh, for the athletes and I thought,
I don't ever want to do that.
972
00:51:57,135 --> 00:51:57,465
Right.
973
00:51:58,175 --> 00:51:59,315
I do know the research.
974
00:51:59,345 --> 00:52:02,875
I'm, I love like strong man training
and stuff like that and power lifting.
975
00:52:03,455 --> 00:52:06,715
And I know all those guys at the top
level all have ice baths in their home.
976
00:52:07,715 --> 00:52:11,975
They use hot tubs because
they're really big dudes.
977
00:52:14,485 --> 00:52:17,865
But I, I had some questions
in my head, right?
978
00:52:17,945 --> 00:52:20,055
I've always gone back and forth
because for a long time, there was
979
00:52:20,065 --> 00:52:22,685
debates on whether cold showers.
980
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:27,020
Had the same impact as
a submersion, right?
981
00:52:28,060 --> 00:52:32,120
But the fact that you guys reached out
to one of the middle toughness trainers
982
00:52:32,190 --> 00:52:36,900
for the seals, I thought if anybody can
teach me to handle the cold water, to
983
00:52:36,910 --> 00:52:43,240
even try cold showers, like they got
this, this incredible guy who, well,
984
00:52:43,250 --> 00:52:46,110
let's face it, all of us envision when
we were like tough dudes, we all pitched
985
00:52:46,110 --> 00:52:48,170
to the seals, the green berets, right?
986
00:52:48,170 --> 00:52:50,020
We're all thinking about
the special forces guys.
987
00:52:50,905 --> 00:52:53,455
And so I thought, okay, he's
going to teach me something
988
00:52:54,325 --> 00:52:55,675
about this that I don't know.
989
00:52:56,585 --> 00:52:59,005
And if anyone's going to walk me
through it, it's going to be this guy.
990
00:52:59,565 --> 00:52:59,925
Yep.
991
00:53:00,885 --> 00:53:05,655
So it's a very different, like, you don't
feel like you're in a therapist's office.
992
00:53:05,655 --> 00:53:09,775
You don't feel like someone's trying
to shrink your brain or make you feel
993
00:53:09,775 --> 00:53:16,405
a certain way, but you feel compelled
to grow and to work on yourself
994
00:53:16,605 --> 00:53:18,075
and to actually think a little bit.
995
00:53:18,645 --> 00:53:19,295
Mm hmm.
996
00:53:19,755 --> 00:53:21,575
It's a totally different approach.
997
00:53:21,575 --> 00:53:21,725
Yeah.
998
00:53:21,725 --> 00:53:21,874
Yeah.
999
00:53:24,655 --> 00:53:25,065
Yeah.
1000
00:53:25,205 --> 00:53:32,120
I think, um, That the daily do so we
we also followed up with that what
1001
00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:37,135
we call the daily do which is reflect
for a moment on what you just heard
1002
00:53:37,135 --> 00:53:42,865
and then our AI coach helps turn that
into a way for you to act that day.
1003
00:53:43,055 --> 00:53:46,335
What's a small thing you could do a
little bit to step in this direction?
1004
00:53:46,345 --> 00:53:47,995
And it's a big thing.
1005
00:53:47,995 --> 00:53:52,345
Like we listen to podcasts or, uh,
read book or something like that.
1006
00:53:52,345 --> 00:53:53,875
And we're like, Oh, that's
interesting insight.
1007
00:53:54,625 --> 00:53:58,585
But it's also, how does Insight
really apply to my life?
1008
00:53:58,705 --> 00:54:00,495
And that takes a little bit of work.
1009
00:54:00,905 --> 00:54:05,075
And then the work to also go, Oh, well,
if that's relevant to me that way, what
1010
00:54:05,105 --> 00:54:06,845
actually should I be doing differently?
1011
00:54:07,035 --> 00:54:08,125
And it's like, Oh, okay.
1012
00:54:08,195 --> 00:54:09,805
I'm going to do this differently today.
1013
00:54:10,515 --> 00:54:13,675
And if that's what your life starts
being, where you start learning
1014
00:54:13,715 --> 00:54:17,785
things and weaken your life and a
little bit differently every day,
1015
00:54:18,355 --> 00:54:20,975
it adds up in a major way towards.
1016
00:54:21,335 --> 00:54:24,235
Are you living a life where you feel like
you're on autopilot or are you living
1017
00:54:24,235 --> 00:54:27,915
a life where you think it's a life of
purpose where you know what you're doing?
1018
00:54:28,445 --> 00:54:33,105
Where you have stress and control,
um, and that is a big goal of it.
1019
00:54:33,105 --> 00:54:37,365
It's just little shifts and have fun
doing it, but it has a huge impact
1020
00:54:37,365 --> 00:54:38,935
on how you feel day in, day out.
1021
00:54:39,375 --> 00:54:41,945
I love the fact that you made it
where you can pick your AI coach.
1022
00:54:43,035 --> 00:54:44,525
That was such a cool move.
1023
00:54:44,605 --> 00:54:46,325
Just guys, you get it.
1024
00:54:46,335 --> 00:54:49,685
You don't, you're not stuck with
the big Alaski or Bruce Lee.
1025
00:54:50,100 --> 00:54:56,450
They have catalog of guys that
all of us know their names.
1026
00:54:56,590 --> 00:54:57,810
All of us respect them.
1027
00:54:58,050 --> 00:55:01,710
I promise you're going to find
somebody from the Stoics all
1028
00:55:01,710 --> 00:55:03,010
the way up to Andrew Huberman.
1029
00:55:03,420 --> 00:55:06,270
Uh, you're going to find somebody
in there that you're like,
1030
00:55:06,270 --> 00:55:07,420
dude, I listened to that guy.
1031
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:10,350
Like I, I, I listened to him.
1032
00:55:10,350 --> 00:55:11,510
I connect with what he says.
1033
00:55:11,510 --> 00:55:13,550
I value his opinion and advice.
1034
00:55:15,135 --> 00:55:18,105
Uh, that was such a cool feature
when I was setting up my profile.
1035
00:55:18,655 --> 00:55:18,875
Yeah.
1036
00:55:18,875 --> 00:55:21,945
How did you, I mean, how do you, I don't
even know, I don't understand how that
1037
00:55:21,945 --> 00:55:23,955
works in the background, but it's cool.
1038
00:55:24,775 --> 00:55:26,135
Yeah, no, it's exciting.
1039
00:55:26,135 --> 00:55:26,455
Yeah.
1040
00:55:26,585 --> 00:55:27,815
Uh, we didn't start with that idea.
1041
00:55:27,815 --> 00:55:31,645
We were just like, uh, when you
arrive in the app or like, which,
1042
00:55:31,675 --> 00:55:34,815
which guys do you look up to, uh, and
why do you look up to them just to
1043
00:55:34,815 --> 00:55:36,785
understand why people are coming in?
1044
00:55:36,785 --> 00:55:41,165
And, uh, for them to also understand
what we stand for as well.
1045
00:55:41,165 --> 00:55:42,875
And, and then we're like,
oh, well, if we're doing AI.
1046
00:55:43,650 --> 00:55:49,840
We could build out these models that they
be, uh, yeah, Bruce Lee or Muhammad Ali,
1047
00:55:49,890 --> 00:55:54,580
uh, talking to you and, or there's a, the
only one who's not a person is there's
1048
00:55:54,580 --> 00:55:57,670
a, just a Navy SEAL general archetype.
1049
00:55:57,710 --> 00:56:02,655
And then, uh, But yeah, I figure
that's maybe better than Goggins.
1050
00:56:06,425 --> 00:56:08,295
Oh, yeah, the Goggins.
1051
00:56:09,005 --> 00:56:11,155
That's a tangent.
1052
00:56:11,155 --> 00:56:17,905
Now, Anson, you are working to
change the face of mental health
1053
00:56:17,905 --> 00:56:19,645
for men and make it approachable.
1054
00:56:20,175 --> 00:56:25,435
Make it something that we actually
want to process and work through.
1055
00:56:26,070 --> 00:56:33,600
Uh, and have that conversation with
this company, but how do we start
1056
00:56:33,690 --> 00:56:34,980
this conversation at home for us?
1057
00:56:34,980 --> 00:56:37,140
Cause that's the first place we're
going to have the conversation, right?
1058
00:56:37,780 --> 00:56:42,250
So if our guys listening, because one
of the things that you and I totally
1059
00:56:42,250 --> 00:56:46,630
see an eye on, on that is I like the
daily do because I like action steps.
1060
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:48,180
I like takeaways.
1061
00:56:48,710 --> 00:56:51,310
So we've got men listening
to the show right now.
1062
00:56:51,580 --> 00:56:54,630
Now, obviously guys, I'm going
to say, even if Anson doesn't
1063
00:56:54,630 --> 00:56:58,370
say it, go download the app,
seriously, just do yourself a favor.
1064
00:56:58,675 --> 00:57:02,245
Like I said, full review coming out
later, but just, just go down on the app.
1065
00:57:02,255 --> 00:57:02,725
Okay.
1066
00:57:03,235 --> 00:57:04,735
You know, I don't promote apps.
1067
00:57:04,755 --> 00:57:08,455
This is the third app I've ever
covered on the show in season five.
1068
00:57:08,465 --> 00:57:10,625
This is the third app I've
ever actually covered.
1069
00:57:10,855 --> 00:57:13,055
One of them was also
another mental health app.
1070
00:57:13,565 --> 00:57:20,015
Uh, different build out interesting, but I
got to say this one, I've, I've used both.
1071
00:57:20,035 --> 00:57:21,445
I love your app.
1072
00:57:21,895 --> 00:57:22,815
I am a fan.
1073
00:57:23,405 --> 00:57:28,925
Uh, but I can tell you guys that,
but right now, maybe you're listening
1074
00:57:28,925 --> 00:57:30,885
to this conversation, right?
1075
00:57:31,205 --> 00:57:35,475
What are the first three steps
our listeners can take to start
1076
00:57:36,695 --> 00:57:42,275
adjusting their own self talk, their
own headspace to start looking at
1077
00:57:42,275 --> 00:57:43,695
dealing with their mental health?
1078
00:57:46,005 --> 00:57:46,435
Yeah.
1079
00:57:47,490 --> 00:57:51,460
Yeah, no, I mean it's so great
to have this conversation.
1080
00:57:51,650 --> 00:57:59,310
Um, you know, yeah Yeah, look at just
the rates of how much like it's eight out
1081
00:57:59,310 --> 00:58:04,400
of ten guys are reporting that they're
super stressed And stressed frequently the
1082
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:09,750
loneliness rates that we hear amongst men
are super high amount of money you feel
1083
00:58:09,750 --> 00:58:13,825
like they're on autopilot and not living
a life of purpose is It's wildly high.
1084
00:58:13,825 --> 00:58:14,695
It's gotten higher.
1085
00:58:14,795 --> 00:58:19,845
I mean, there's, it's, I think we used to
think, oh, this is kind of mental health
1086
00:58:19,845 --> 00:58:24,755
is like, oh, it's something like where
you're on medication and this is a few
1087
00:58:24,755 --> 00:58:28,235
people over here who are depressed and
have an issue and I'm not one of those
1088
00:58:28,245 --> 00:58:31,975
guys, but the reality is when you look
at the numbers, almost all of us are
1089
00:58:32,655 --> 00:58:34,544
dealing with issues around mental health.
1090
00:58:34,545 --> 00:58:35,695
It's a normal thing now.
1091
00:58:35,765 --> 00:58:37,045
It's not the odd thing.
1092
00:58:37,095 --> 00:58:38,165
It's the standard.
1093
00:58:38,235 --> 00:58:39,935
Um, and so, yeah.
1094
00:58:40,820 --> 00:58:45,940
We just live in a different society, you
know, a hundred years ago when, I don't
1095
00:58:45,940 --> 00:58:52,110
know, we lived in the high plains maybe,
was fine to just be the meanest son of
1096
00:58:52,110 --> 00:58:57,040
a bitch out there with the quickest draw
on the six shooter, but now we live in
1097
00:58:57,220 --> 00:59:01,660
an era where we have really different
pressures on us with social media, etc.
1098
00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:06,400
We need to be thinking about how to handle
those life pressures in a different way.
1099
00:59:07,070 --> 00:59:09,930
And the reality is, is
we have to combat them.
1100
00:59:10,070 --> 00:59:15,440
We need to actively work on countering
the ways that modern society is
1101
00:59:15,470 --> 00:59:18,250
pushing us to behave and act and feel.
1102
00:59:18,360 --> 00:59:23,030
Um, and so this requires a certain
amount of intentionality and training.
1103
00:59:23,260 --> 00:59:28,100
So, I think when it's just thinking
about mental health, it's, we're all
1104
00:59:28,100 --> 00:59:30,500
dealing with issues of modern society.
1105
00:59:30,500 --> 00:59:31,330
It is the norm.
1106
00:59:31,660 --> 00:59:35,940
I think that's the big thing people need
to Be clear about in their head, and
1107
00:59:35,940 --> 00:59:40,220
that the way to handle it, it doesn't
have to just be talk therapy or nothing.
1108
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:44,370
There is a tremendous number of
ways you could tweak your lifestyle,
1109
00:59:44,430 --> 00:59:48,430
uh, that will make you feel
fulfilled, happy, less stressed.
1110
00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:49,390
Life?
1111
00:59:50,660 --> 00:59:51,180
Short.
1112
00:59:51,500 --> 00:59:52,440
It's really short.
1113
00:59:52,550 --> 00:59:56,140
It's like, we all think we're going
to live to 85, um, be that old guy
1114
00:59:56,140 --> 00:59:57,570
who dies with family around him.
1115
00:59:57,660 --> 01:00:00,535
But We could die in an accident tomorrow.
1116
01:00:00,735 --> 01:00:02,835
You know, we could get
cancer in a couple years.
1117
01:00:03,345 --> 01:00:06,175
We don't realize how fleeting
it is until it's gone.
1118
01:00:06,235 --> 01:00:09,945
And so you need, it's like our one
opportunity to be able to appreciate, you
1119
01:00:09,945 --> 01:00:13,815
know, dancing with your wife or seeing
the sunset or all your kids growing
1120
01:00:13,815 --> 01:00:15,645
up or all the magical things we have.
1121
01:00:16,380 --> 01:00:19,960
But working on your mental
health and putting a little work
1122
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:24,060
there is what will enable you
to really appreciate that stuff.
1123
01:00:24,100 --> 01:00:27,450
Appreciate the magic of being live
for just such a short amount of time.
1124
01:00:28,030 --> 01:00:29,530
Try to hide all that stuff.
1125
01:00:30,690 --> 01:00:34,580
It's like we're just gonna let this
life go by without really any kind of
1126
01:00:34,580 --> 01:00:39,530
meaning to it, without being the sort
of man that you ultimately want to be.
1127
01:00:39,650 --> 01:00:43,620
And so I think without working on
your mental health, it ultimately
1128
01:00:43,620 --> 01:00:48,360
is a way to live a life with a lot
of regrets versus a life Uh, that is
1129
01:00:48,790 --> 01:00:50,690
full of, like, happiness and purpose.
1130
01:00:52,670 --> 01:00:56,680
So what I'm hearing you say is,
A, we have to first start to
1131
01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:57,860
normalize that in our brain.
1132
01:00:57,970 --> 01:01:02,710
It's not weird, it's not abnormal, it's
not something that doesn't make you
1133
01:01:02,710 --> 01:01:05,090
weird, or strange, or horrible, or broken.
1134
01:01:05,860 --> 01:01:06,170
Right?
1135
01:01:06,190 --> 01:01:08,220
So we have to normalize the
conversation in our head.
1136
01:01:08,590 --> 01:01:10,410
Makes you a modern human.
1137
01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:18,080
Then we have to look for a path,
a solution, that we want to
1138
01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:20,120
try, that we're willing to try.
1139
01:01:20,680 --> 01:01:20,940
Yeah.
1140
01:01:21,060 --> 01:01:21,440
Right?
1141
01:01:22,890 --> 01:01:24,620
And then not wait, right?
1142
01:01:24,620 --> 01:01:29,130
That's, that's the third thing is
do something don't, don't wait.
1143
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:32,740
So understand it's, it's normal.
1144
01:01:32,850 --> 01:01:33,510
It's okay.
1145
01:01:33,550 --> 01:01:34,780
It doesn't make you broken.
1146
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:40,170
Pick a solution to try, pick something,
pick a direction, whether it's talk
1147
01:01:40,170 --> 01:01:44,600
therapy, or if you don't think you
need talk therapy, maybe it's just
1148
01:01:44,610 --> 01:01:49,310
having like a group of friends that you
guys sit down and actually have real
1149
01:01:49,310 --> 01:01:52,300
conversations and then make it immediate.
1150
01:01:53,370 --> 01:01:53,690
Right.
1151
01:01:53,860 --> 01:01:55,700
That's what I'm hearing is don't wait.
1152
01:01:56,900 --> 01:02:02,350
Uh, if you're, if you're even starting
to question that you might have some
1153
01:02:02,590 --> 01:02:06,380
mental health concerns, whether it's
anxiety or depression, you guys, when
1154
01:02:06,380 --> 01:02:09,060
we say mental health, everybody's
like thinking about schizophrenia.
1155
01:02:09,430 --> 01:02:09,960
We're not.
1156
01:02:10,660 --> 01:02:10,910
Okay.
1157
01:02:10,930 --> 01:02:12,280
We're talking about depression.
1158
01:02:12,280 --> 01:02:13,590
We're talking about anxiety.
1159
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:17,430
We're talking about being
withdrawn from people, right?
1160
01:02:18,740 --> 01:02:23,740
Or just, just feeling stressed day
in, day out, overwhelmed at work.
1161
01:02:24,060 --> 01:02:28,600
You're worrying about your finances,
uh, you're fighting with your partner,
1162
01:02:28,640 --> 01:02:31,590
uh, like that's, that's mental health.
1163
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:34,890
I'm feeling like you're on autopilot.
1164
01:02:35,560 --> 01:02:36,440
That's mental health.
1165
01:02:36,550 --> 01:02:39,490
It doesn't have to, you
know, capital D depression.
1166
01:02:39,650 --> 01:02:43,470
Um, it's just, I'm stressed and
not feeling that great every day
1167
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:47,510
or, or I know I could be feeling
better and more on top of my game.
1168
01:02:47,740 --> 01:02:48,520
That's mental health.
1169
01:02:50,350 --> 01:02:52,600
So what's next for Anson Whitmore?
1170
01:02:52,610 --> 01:02:55,150
Are we, are you going to continue
to expand the app or are we
1171
01:02:55,150 --> 01:02:56,960
adding more things to it or?
1172
01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:56,970
Absolutely.
1173
01:02:56,970 --> 01:02:56,979
Absolutely.
1174
01:02:57,530 --> 01:02:59,530
Yeah, there's some vanilla
up over your sleeves, too.
1175
01:03:00,145 --> 01:03:00,625
Oh, yeah.
1176
01:03:00,665 --> 01:03:04,935
Uh, it's like we have our
next protocol in the works.
1177
01:03:05,025 --> 01:03:12,805
Um, we are just, um, just sorting out the
coach won't be Navy SEAL, but it, it might
1178
01:03:12,845 --> 01:03:19,875
be, uh, a very famous boxer, um, which
I'd be pretty excited if it goes that way.
1179
01:03:19,955 --> 01:03:24,035
Um, but again, it is,
it won't be cold water.
1180
01:03:24,105 --> 01:03:25,675
It'll be something physical.
1181
01:03:25,785 --> 01:03:28,715
And again, it's kind of that
combination of doing some physical.
1182
01:03:28,905 --> 01:03:31,085
A lot of guys like to deal
with their mental health.
1183
01:03:31,495 --> 01:03:36,805
By exerting themselves physically, but
that combination of what's your mindset
1184
01:03:36,845 --> 01:03:38,225
while you're doing some physical?
1185
01:03:38,235 --> 01:03:40,465
How does that mindset show
up in the rest of your day?
1186
01:03:40,855 --> 01:03:44,255
How's that mindset help you do that
physical thing even better than you
1187
01:03:44,265 --> 01:03:51,425
otherwise would so Entertainment and
fun plus like shifts in mind We have
1188
01:03:51,685 --> 01:03:53,525
yeah, there's there's a bunch coming up.
1189
01:03:53,565 --> 01:03:59,025
The next six months is all about building
different stuff out and Really excited
1190
01:03:59,065 --> 01:04:03,435
to for you to see where it's gonna
be come like June July That's cool.
1191
01:04:03,715 --> 01:04:05,255
I'm looking forward to that for sure.
1192
01:04:05,885 --> 01:04:08,325
Where is the best place for
people to connect with you?
1193
01:04:09,605 --> 01:04:12,925
Um, yeah, I, you could
find me on LinkedIn.
1194
01:04:13,425 --> 01:04:14,825
Uh, my full name.
1195
01:04:14,865 --> 01:04:15,925
Uh, that's a great spot.
1196
01:04:17,090 --> 01:04:20,810
We're at Get Mental, uh,
dot com is where we're at.
1197
01:04:20,810 --> 01:04:25,620
We like to tell everyone it's time to
get mental and you can actually get
1198
01:04:25,620 --> 01:04:27,900
ahold of me at anson@getmental.com.
1199
01:04:30,380 --> 01:04:33,650
Now, I know that everybody's
really concerned about this, that
1200
01:04:33,655 --> 01:04:36,410
the oldest drink in the United
States is not actually Coca-Cola.
1201
01:04:36,560 --> 01:04:36,710
Dang.
1202
01:04:36,710 --> 01:04:39,920
It is the ginger Pepper.
1203
01:04:40,585 --> 01:04:41,075
Oh, it's Dr.
1204
01:04:41,075 --> 01:04:41,585
Pepper.
1205
01:04:41,815 --> 01:04:42,065
Dr.
1206
01:04:42,065 --> 01:04:45,205
Pepper is the oldest soft drink
in the, in the United States.
1207
01:04:45,295 --> 01:04:46,755
Uh, they also own 7 Up.
1208
01:04:47,875 --> 01:04:48,315
Yeah.
1209
01:04:48,695 --> 01:04:51,045
It's, uh, it's still
independent, actually.
1210
01:04:51,435 --> 01:04:51,875
Uh, Dr.
1211
01:04:51,975 --> 01:04:54,575
Pepper is his own company down in Texas.
1212
01:04:55,655 --> 01:04:56,765
What, do you know what year?
1213
01:04:57,725 --> 01:04:58,865
I don't know what year.
1214
01:04:59,305 --> 01:04:59,595
Yeah.
1215
01:05:00,085 --> 01:05:00,545
I must say.
1216
01:05:00,835 --> 01:05:02,645
I look at these questions,
but I didn't have the dates.
1217
01:05:02,645 --> 01:05:04,555
I, I trusted one lying
to me when I was there.
1218
01:05:05,755 --> 01:05:06,515
I'm just amazed.
1219
01:05:06,515 --> 01:05:07,615
I, I love Dr.
1220
01:05:07,615 --> 01:05:08,315
Pepper growing up.
1221
01:05:08,945 --> 01:05:12,035
Anson, we, we've talked about some
really important things today.
1222
01:05:12,970 --> 01:05:16,400
But the, this is the moment,
okay, I want you to take us out.
1223
01:05:16,860 --> 01:05:20,940
If our listeners heard nothing
else that we talked about in
1224
01:05:20,940 --> 01:05:23,900
this entire conversation, what
do you want them to hear today?
1225
01:05:27,670 --> 01:05:29,910
First thoughts is it's time to get mental.
1226
01:05:32,200 --> 01:05:34,320
Uh, it really is.
1227
01:05:34,340 --> 01:05:37,000
It's, we got to stop delaying this stuff.
1228
01:05:38,200 --> 01:05:39,480
It is so valuable.
1229
01:05:39,500 --> 01:05:41,580
You will see a difference.
1230
01:05:41,640 --> 01:05:44,260
Uh, there's a lot of
different pools out there.
1231
01:05:45,010 --> 01:05:47,390
Find the tool that works
for you and start using it.
1232
01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:51,170
Guys for Ansel Whitmore and for myself.
1233
01:05:51,550 --> 01:05:55,000
Thanks for hanging out with us today
Be better tomorrow because what you
1234
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:56,320
do today, we'll see on the next one.
1235
01:05:57,850 --> 01:06:02,100
This has been the Fallible Man
podcast Your home for everything
1236
01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:04,200
man, husband and father.
1237
01:06:05,110 --> 01:06:09,010
Be sure to subscribe so you don't
miss a show head over to www.
1238
01:06:11,710 --> 01:06:11,930
thefallibleman.
1239
01:06:11,930 --> 01:06:16,390
com For more content and get your
own Fallible Man gear I'm not
1240
01:06:16,390 --> 01:06:20,085
takin I ain't waitin I'm not takin