Welcome to the Fallible Nation!

Getting Mental: Why We Need to Rethink Men's Mental Health

Hey guys, ever felt like mental health advice just isn't cutting it for you? Told to "just tough it out" or "talk about your feelings" but still feeling overwhelmed and stressed? If you're tired of ineffective solutions and ready for real results, le...

Hey guys, ever felt like mental health advice just isn't cutting it for you? Told to "just tough it out" or "talk about your feelings" but still feeling overwhelmed and stressed? If you're tired of ineffective solutions and ready for real results, let's talk about getting your mental well-being back on track.

"It's time to get mental. We've got to stop delaying this stuff. It is so valuable. You will see a difference. There's a lot of different tools out there. Find the tool that works for you and start using it." - Anson Whitmer

In this episode, you will be able to:

  • Discover how to prioritize mental health with a men's mental health app.
  • Learn to infuse humor into mental health for a refreshing approach.
  • Explore the significance of normalizing mental health conversations.
  • Take proactive steps to improve your mental well-being today.
  • Uncover the importance of lifestyle changes for better mental health.

My special guest is Anson Whitmer

Anson Whitmer is a neuroscientist and advocate for mental health. He has dedicated his career to understanding the complexities of mental well-being, driven by personal experiences with the tragic loss of family members. Anson's work in neuroscience and research on rumination, depression, and anxiety has led him to prioritize scalable solutions for mental health, particularly for men. His involvement in founding a mental health app and his insights into the different cultural approaches to men's mental health shed light on the critical need for tailored solutions in this space. Anson's expertise and passion for this topic make him a valuable voice in the conversation around men's mental health.

The key moments in this episode are:
00:00:00 - Introduction and Podcast Overview
00:01:15 - Introduction of Anson Whitmer
00:12:57 - Sponsorship and Testimonial
00:13:49 - Transition to Men's Mental Health Discussion
00:14:26 - An Emotional Journey
00:18:39 - Men's Mental Health Crisis
00:21:20 - Gender-specific Approaches
00:24:24 - Lifestyle Impact on Mental Health
00:27:33 - Redefining Talk Therapy
00:28:48 - Better Ways to Approach Men's Mental Health
00:30:37 - Lack of Understanding in Therapy
00:35:31 - Stoicism and Mental Toughness
00:39:39 - Flexibility in Masculinity
00:42:44 - Unique Approach to Mental Health
00:43:35 - Making Mental Health Fun and Approachable
00:49:48 - A Full Solution for Mental Health
00:53:24 - Reflect and Take Action
00:54:39 - Living a Purposeful Life
00:56:30 - Starting the Conversation at Home
00:58:39 - Adapting to Modern Society
01:00:30 - Embracing Life
01:00:58 - Normalizing Mental Health
01:03:02 - Future Plans

Guest Links:

Website:

https://www.getmental.com/

Get the Mental App:

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/mental-strengthen-your-mind/id6444276517

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/company/getmental/

Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/thementalapp/

X:

https://twitter.com/thementalapp

FaceBook:

https://www.facebook.com/thementalapp

 

 

Join our Exclusive Private Community – Fallible Nation

https://bit.ly/FallibleNation

 

Sponsors:

Grow YOUR Show: The Easy Button for Podcasters

Have you thought about starting a podcast to grow your business or even as a hobby? Then you need to go talk to my friend Adam Adams. I trust him and so you should you!

https://growyourshow.com/

 

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Transcript
1
00:00:00,150 --> 00:00:01,460
It's time to get mental.

2
00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:05,840
Uh, it really is.

3
00:00:05,860 --> 00:00:08,530
It's, we got to stop delaying this stuff.

4
00:00:09,120 --> 00:00:11,020
Uh, it is so valuable.

5
00:00:11,030 --> 00:00:13,110
You will see a difference.

6
00:00:13,169 --> 00:00:15,840
Uh, there's a lot of
different tools out there.

7
00:00:16,530 --> 00:00:18,940
Find the tool that works
for you and start using it.

8
00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:25,799
Here's the million dollar question.

9
00:00:26,389 --> 00:00:29,850
How do men like us reach our
full potential growing to the men

10
00:00:29,850 --> 00:00:33,130
we dream of being while taking
care of our responsibilities?

11
00:00:33,535 --> 00:00:38,005
working, being good husbands, fathers,
and still take care of ourselves?

12
00:00:38,935 --> 00:00:40,435
Well, that's the big question.

13
00:00:41,214 --> 00:00:44,155
In this podcast, we'll help you
answer those questions and more.

14
00:00:44,324 --> 00:00:46,944
My name is Brent and welcome
to the Fallible Man Podcast.

15
00:00:50,625 --> 00:00:52,035
Welcome to fallible man podcast.

16
00:00:52,035 --> 00:00:54,575
You're home for all things, man,
husband and father, big shout

17
00:00:54,575 --> 00:00:55,795
out to fallible nation and warm.

18
00:00:55,795 --> 00:00:57,095
Welcome to our first time listeners.

19
00:00:57,095 --> 00:00:59,354
Hey, I know there's a lot competing
for your attention out there.

20
00:00:59,554 --> 00:01:01,494
I appreciate taking the
time to check us out.

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00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:05,174
Be sure and touch base with me at the
fallible man on most social medias.

22
00:01:05,354 --> 00:01:06,725
Let me know what you thought of our show.

23
00:01:06,754 --> 00:01:08,145
I'd love to hear your opinion.

24
00:01:08,164 --> 00:01:10,925
And like I said, we appreciate
you giving this chance and if you

25
00:01:10,925 --> 00:01:13,464
really enjoy the show, be sure to
leave us review on apple podcast.

26
00:01:13,475 --> 00:01:14,565
That really helps us out.

27
00:01:15,009 --> 00:01:19,060
Today, my special guest is
neuroscientist, CEO and co founder

28
00:01:19,060 --> 00:01:20,940
of The Mental App, Anson Whitmore.

29
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,600
Anson, welcome to the
Fallible Man Podcast.

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All right.

31
00:01:24,620 --> 00:01:25,290
Great to be here.

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Now, Anson, we, we start
on the lighter side.

33
00:01:28,460 --> 00:01:29,909
So, how's your trivia?

34
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Not as good as you would think for
someone with a PhD, but, but bring it on.

35
00:01:36,979 --> 00:01:39,810
I, I would assume that you were
busy studying more relevant

36
00:01:39,820 --> 00:01:41,240
things than random trivia facts.

37
00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:45,030
But, you know, just, just
that's a symptom of me.

38
00:01:45,060 --> 00:01:45,690
So I don't know.

39
00:01:46,925 --> 00:01:47,755
Yeah, I go deep.

40
00:01:47,765 --> 00:01:48,255
I go deep.

41
00:01:50,315 --> 00:01:53,495
What is the oldest soda
drink in the United States?

42
00:01:53,595 --> 00:01:54,215
Is it A.

43
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Coca Cola, B.

44
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Pepsi, C.

45
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Dr.

46
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Pepper, or D.

47
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Canada Dry Ginger Ale?

48
00:02:01,075 --> 00:02:02,545
The ginger ale is interesting.

49
00:02:02,715 --> 00:02:06,145
I would guess it's, I mean, I know
Coca Cola is really old, so I'm

50
00:02:06,145 --> 00:02:10,755
gonna go with that, back to the days
when it had cocaine in it, right?

51
00:02:11,975 --> 00:02:13,445
Really happy days of Coke.

52
00:02:15,204 --> 00:02:18,650
And for all of you who didn't know that,
yes, Coca Cola was originally called

53
00:02:18,650 --> 00:02:20,290
Coca Cola because it had cocaine in it.

54
00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:20,400
Yeah.

55
00:02:21,030 --> 00:02:21,350
Wow.

56
00:02:22,125 --> 00:02:23,845
So guys, you know, the
rules don't skip ahead.

57
00:02:23,855 --> 00:02:24,365
Don't cheat.

58
00:02:24,365 --> 00:02:26,105
And for God's sake, don't
write down your answer.

59
00:02:26,105 --> 00:02:28,335
If you're driving, just remember
it and come back to it later.

60
00:02:28,335 --> 00:02:29,465
We'll deal with that later.

61
00:02:29,924 --> 00:02:32,204
Uh, Anson, I don't do introductions.

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That's that was about
as formal as it gets.

63
00:02:33,994 --> 00:02:36,604
So in your own words today, who is Anson?

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00:02:38,035 --> 00:02:38,454
Yeah.

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00:02:38,504 --> 00:02:44,094
Uh, PC neuroscience, uh, CEO and co
founder of mental building, mental

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health app built for men, dad of two
young boys, one years old and four

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years old, and also, uh, A kind of
retired out semi professional rock

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climber, but I still love to climb.

69
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Nice.

70
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Nice.

71
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I saw a picture on one of your
social medias of you climbing.

72
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So I didn't know if that was a hobby
or if that was a little beyond a hobby.

73
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Yeah, I used to push it pretty hard,
uh, I used to, mostly it's like

74
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bouldering, but I used to also, uh, do
big walls, including some really big

75
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solos of thousand plus foot cliffs.

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And now that I have the little kids,
uh, and a wife, I don't do that anymore.

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Um, but maybe sometime like when
I'm retired, when the kids are old,

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well, you know, if nothing else,
you can hit a rock gym, right?

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Keep keeping a little
bit of shape that way.

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I actually built my own
climbing wall in the garage.

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Yeah, I like that.

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I don't park the cars
in the garage anymore.

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It's just a big gift, to be honest.

84
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Uh, but it's great.

85
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Hey, you know, I, I used to live a
couple blocks from a climbing gym in

86
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one of the towns I used to live in.

87
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And honestly, like, that was
one of my favorite workouts.

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Like, I, I go in the evenings
and just go climb with my wife.

89
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And we, we got certified to
belay each other at the gym.

90
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Man, that was just a great workout.

91
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I loved every minute of it.

92
00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:12,699
Yeah, a big part is, uh, you just get so
into the flow and into the moment that

93
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I've noticed when I've gone into the gym
and climbed, whatever I was just kind

94
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of stressing about, worrying about, or
whatever was going on, by the time I

95
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leave the gym, it's just been wiped clean.

96
00:04:22,869 --> 00:04:26,560
And that's the power of spending
an hour or two just deeply

97
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in the moment as stresses and
worries just kind of dissipate.

98
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:31,540
I love it.

99
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Clarity.

100
00:04:33,090 --> 00:04:34,350
I get money on a motorcycle.

101
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When you do anything, you actually
have to be a hundred percent president.

102
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It's amazing.

103
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If you get sidetracked while you're
climbing and can fall to your death.

104
00:04:46,355 --> 00:04:47,545
You have to be in the moment.

105
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Yeah.

106
00:04:48,585 --> 00:04:50,185
Yeah thing on a motorcycle.

107
00:04:50,935 --> 00:04:55,555
It's the same Yeah, I had
a motorcycle for 15 years.

108
00:04:55,725 --> 00:04:57,025
All right, another thing.

109
00:04:57,795 --> 00:05:04,224
My wife is not happy with
me Sensible again, what is

110
00:05:04,224 --> 00:05:05,535
your best playground insult?

111
00:05:06,934 --> 00:05:08,194
What's my best playground?

112
00:05:08,754 --> 00:05:09,914
Playground insult.

113
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What is a playground insult?

114
00:05:14,055 --> 00:05:19,335
You know when you're a kid pushing
each other on the playground Your mom.

115
00:05:19,575 --> 00:05:20,820
Oh, insult , right?

116
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Playground.

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00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:21,780
Insult.

118
00:05:22,275 --> 00:05:22,455
Yeah.

119
00:05:22,544 --> 00:05:23,085
Playground.

120
00:05:24,185 --> 00:05:26,875
Um, oh, wow.

121
00:05:26,965 --> 00:05:30,495
Uh, yeah, I, that, that's a tough one.

122
00:05:30,585 --> 00:05:36,605
Um, I, I think we'd always just be
talking about your mom's face or . Um,

123
00:05:36,695 --> 00:05:39,784
I can't say I have too many good
ones off the top of my head anymore.

124
00:05:41,255 --> 00:05:43,515
See, we're tapping into a whole
different part of your brain today.

125
00:05:44,005 --> 00:05:44,475
Yeah.

126
00:05:45,015 --> 00:05:46,885
Weapon of choice in zombie apocalypse.

127
00:05:48,405 --> 00:05:51,294
Ooh, uh, yeah, I gotta say samurai sword.

128
00:05:52,615 --> 00:05:52,915
Nice.

129
00:05:53,724 --> 00:05:54,175
They're good.

130
00:05:54,175 --> 00:05:55,185
I mean, just keep using it.

131
00:05:55,245 --> 00:05:57,075
Hey, you've run out of bullets
with all the other ones.

132
00:05:57,085 --> 00:05:59,515
Samurai sword, you
know, it's fast, nimble.

133
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,030
Just taking heads off.

134
00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:01,650
I don't know.

135
00:06:01,990 --> 00:06:04,280
Wasn't there a character
in Waking Dead who had one?

136
00:06:04,670 --> 00:06:05,560
Yeah, I think so.

137
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,100
I didn't ever watch much of that one.

138
00:06:07,540 --> 00:06:12,579
I watched like a season or two and the
samurai sword just seemed most effective

139
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,010
and you never ran out of bullets.

140
00:06:14,310 --> 00:06:16,630
Right, and it's quiet so
you don't draw a crowd.

141
00:06:16,809 --> 00:06:17,289
That's true.

142
00:06:17,530 --> 00:06:17,770
Right?

143
00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:21,199
Loud noises in zombie
movies always end badly.

144
00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:22,089
Yeah.

145
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:23,489
So.

146
00:06:23,949 --> 00:06:26,989
If you had to eat one meal for the
rest of your life, what would it be?

147
00:06:28,339 --> 00:06:31,119
Ooh, that's a good one.

148
00:06:31,665 --> 00:06:33,545
Probably, uh, spaghetti.

149
00:06:34,345 --> 00:06:34,845
Spaghetti?

150
00:06:35,515 --> 00:06:37,085
I'm from, uh, Midwest.

151
00:06:37,085 --> 00:06:40,535
Grew up eating spaghetti outside Chicago.

152
00:06:40,684 --> 00:06:41,665
It was a big thing.

153
00:06:42,245 --> 00:06:46,275
Yeah, like, uh, maybe a parpadelli
or ragu or something like that.

154
00:06:46,494 --> 00:06:47,564
Oh man, so good.

155
00:06:48,395 --> 00:06:49,084
Meat or not?

156
00:06:49,884 --> 00:06:50,184
Meat.

157
00:06:50,250 --> 00:06:51,600
Yeah.

158
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:52,949
Yeah.

159
00:06:54,090 --> 00:06:54,669
What about you?

160
00:06:55,190 --> 00:06:57,460
Oh man, uh, chicken fries, steak and eggs.

161
00:06:58,060 --> 00:07:00,509
Oh, well, yeah, I'm, I'm a Southern boy.

162
00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:02,710
I grew up with a very Southern family.

163
00:07:02,719 --> 00:07:07,639
I didn't live in the South a lot, but I,
I grew up with a very deeply Texan family.

164
00:07:07,639 --> 00:07:11,099
So chicken fries, steak and
eggs, hash browns, gravy.

165
00:07:12,190 --> 00:07:13,669
I eat it morning, noon and night.

166
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,520
The only thing that comes
close is chili dogs.

167
00:07:16,175 --> 00:07:16,655
Chili dog.

168
00:07:16,745 --> 00:07:17,164
Nice.

169
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,534
. I'll eat chili dogs for breakfast.

170
00:07:19,625 --> 00:07:22,475
So you know, some people
eat pizza for breakfast.

171
00:07:23,155 --> 00:07:23,875
Can't stand it.

172
00:07:23,935 --> 00:07:26,005
But chili dogs, I'll eat
chili dogs for breakfast.

173
00:07:26,365 --> 00:07:26,905
Oh, whoa.

174
00:07:27,145 --> 00:07:30,905
Yeah, pizza used to be mine and I,
I used to, when I was younger, I'd

175
00:07:30,905 --> 00:07:32,225
be like, it's the perfect food.

176
00:07:32,225 --> 00:07:36,845
It's got carbs and if you have some
meat on top and vegetables, . I didn't

177
00:07:36,845 --> 00:07:39,875
really get when I was younger that I
was like, okay, maybe not the healthiest

178
00:07:41,789 --> 00:07:42,359
Fair enough.

179
00:07:43,059 --> 00:07:45,960
What purchase of 100 or less have
you made in the last year that's

180
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,419
had the biggest impact on your life?

181
00:07:49,820 --> 00:07:52,700
Well, now I'm thinking about food and
the best buy of last year was just

182
00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:54,729
like a cheese grater for Parmesan.

183
00:07:54,989 --> 00:07:57,284
That uh, Went on to the regu.

184
00:07:57,284 --> 00:08:00,044
I make, I was like, that
was the best Buy 2023.

185
00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,484
I don't know why we
didn't have one of those.

186
00:08:02,169 --> 00:08:05,914
is yours a totally homemade
regu, like from scratch?

187
00:08:05,979 --> 00:08:06,270
Yeah.

188
00:08:06,544 --> 00:08:07,354
Yeah, definitely.

189
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:07,990
Yeah.

190
00:08:08,094 --> 00:08:08,365
Yeah.

191
00:08:08,365 --> 00:08:09,655
I get into it, yeah.

192
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,245
It cooks for like three hours.

193
00:08:11,305 --> 00:08:12,205
Big process.

194
00:08:12,210 --> 00:08:13,135
It's a Sunday meal.

195
00:08:13,974 --> 00:08:14,275
Yeah.

196
00:08:14,304 --> 00:08:14,604
Yeah.

197
00:08:14,609 --> 00:08:18,715
I, I've got my red sauce, my ragu down to.

198
00:08:19,739 --> 00:08:20,559
13 hours.

199
00:08:21,650 --> 00:08:22,080
Oh, well.

200
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:23,169
It's a slow cook.

201
00:08:23,289 --> 00:08:26,299
Well, I make it, I only make
it maybe once a year and it's a

202
00:08:26,299 --> 00:08:30,450
really big pot and it's a slow cook
all day to cook everything down.

203
00:08:30,450 --> 00:08:34,089
And then there's enough sauce
for like, we jar it, give away

204
00:08:34,089 --> 00:08:36,000
to people, it's a couple mils.

205
00:08:36,569 --> 00:08:37,049
Oh man.

206
00:08:37,339 --> 00:08:38,869
You're going to have to
have me over at your house.

207
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:42,749
There's like, there's like four pounds
of meat, an entire bottle of wine.

208
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:43,789
Yeah.

209
00:08:45,099 --> 00:08:45,409
Yeah.

210
00:08:45,410 --> 00:08:45,959
It's awesome.

211
00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:50,920
Slow cooking all those ingredients kind
of just like melt together and infuse

212
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:55,440
each other with their flavor and yeah,
oh, yeah Yeah, the longer it cooks the

213
00:08:55,440 --> 00:09:00,190
better because it just comes together
Ironically mine's hotter the next day.

214
00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:04,710
I don't know what I do to it But like
it's spicy or hotter the next day after

215
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:07,275
you refrigerated it one night It's weird.

216
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:08,815
Yeah.

217
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:12,735
You got to have a look in the original
little, little, little kick to it.

218
00:09:13,505 --> 00:09:16,765
If we were to sit down and have
dinner together, what's one funny

219
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:18,014
story your family would tell on you?

220
00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:24,505
Uh, that is, uh, a tough one.

221
00:09:24,505 --> 00:09:31,175
What would be the top one when was
drawn a blank here, I should have

222
00:09:31,175 --> 00:09:32,685
prepared for some of these questions.

223
00:09:32,944 --> 00:09:37,575
Um, the, a funny story about me.

224
00:09:39,090 --> 00:09:41,709
Yeah, but what would they tell
on you to try and embarrass you?

225
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,420
You can dig back a little farther
than your wife if you want, what

226
00:09:44,420 --> 00:09:47,890
your parents would tell on you, your
siblings, or Anything like that?

227
00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:54,280
I'm just thinking about, yeah, what
an embarrassing stories of myself.

228
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:57,480
I'm not sure if this would be
the, the go to story my wife would

229
00:09:57,489 --> 00:09:59,910
have, but it stands out in my head
as one of my more embarrassing

230
00:09:59,910 --> 00:10:01,790
stories, which is, I was young.

231
00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:06,360
I was at a movie theater, and we
were watching that movie Tom Hanks.

232
00:10:06,409 --> 00:10:09,540
I was like, vice versa, or one of
those, where they like switch bodies.

233
00:10:09,580 --> 00:10:15,430
I'm kind of aging myself, uh, here, but
we had, it was, you know, they're cheesy

234
00:10:15,430 --> 00:10:19,880
movies, but in the end, it had Just
like one of those sentimental scenes

235
00:10:19,890 --> 00:10:21,350
where everything was really quiet.

236
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:25,090
The theater is dead quiet and sad.

237
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:29,480
And I was like eight years old and
I just let out the largest fart

238
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:32,670
that I think my young body ever had.

239
00:10:33,129 --> 00:10:34,960
And it just erupted
through the whole theater.

240
00:10:34,989 --> 00:10:38,080
And the whole theater just
started laughing their asses off.

241
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,950
And everyone in front was
turning around and looking at me.

242
00:10:41,950 --> 00:10:44,500
And I was like scooting down
to my seat and pointing at my

243
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:46,000
friend who's sitting next to me.

244
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:49,670
It was a very mortifying experience
for me and when we left the

245
00:10:49,670 --> 00:10:53,670
theater, everyone was like, Oh, that
scene, that was an amazing scene.

246
00:10:54,380 --> 00:10:57,589
I guess it was everyone was thinking
that's like what that scene actually

247
00:10:57,650 --> 00:11:01,649
called for was, uh, that was
their review of the scene as well.

248
00:11:01,650 --> 00:11:04,819
Hey, you changed that
movie forever though.

249
00:11:04,839 --> 00:11:09,016
Those people are going to like laugh
every time they see that scene again.

250
00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:09,549
Yeah.

251
00:11:09,830 --> 00:11:11,040
I remember that scene, it sucked.

252
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:12,300
No, you, you, you did.

253
00:11:13,770 --> 00:11:15,420
Yeah, it was a little too mushy.

254
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:17,240
Too mushy.

255
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:17,890
Exactly.

256
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,490
What's one totally random fact
that people don't know about you?

257
00:11:24,230 --> 00:11:28,950
Um, yeah, I spent elementary
school in England.

258
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:33,620
And, uh, for a couple of years,
I was at a private school.

259
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:38,910
Um, and the private school had
a headmaster who had only one

260
00:11:38,910 --> 00:11:42,850
eye, because he, the other one
got shot out with his shotgun.

261
00:11:43,185 --> 00:11:48,834
Backfired and at the school they used
to hit you with rulers if you were

262
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:53,595
bad You'd have to hold your hand out
and they would and they just swat the

263
00:11:53,595 --> 00:12:00,734
slack So I used to experience corporal
punishment as a kid while I was in school.

264
00:12:01,265 --> 00:12:03,484
Can you imagine that modern school today?

265
00:12:03,859 --> 00:12:04,890
The love sweets.

266
00:12:05,410 --> 00:12:06,120
Wow, yeah.

267
00:12:07,620 --> 00:12:10,310
I can't imagine how pissed I'd
be if I found out that a teacher

268
00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:11,459
was hitting one of my kids.

269
00:12:12,719 --> 00:12:15,529
Yeah, and our parents were like, yeah, go
ahead, you probably deserved it, you know.

270
00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:15,979
Yeah.

271
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:19,379
Yeah, if they weren't
smacking me, you know.

272
00:12:20,979 --> 00:12:24,219
What is something everyone should
know about you before we dig in today?

273
00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:26,150
Hmm.

274
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:33,189
Uh, deeply care about,
uh, amount of suffering.

275
00:12:33,540 --> 00:12:37,080
People go through, uh, it's really
just motivated a big part of my career.

276
00:12:37,260 --> 00:12:42,690
I really don't like to see people
suffer and I'm working hard most of

277
00:12:42,710 --> 00:12:46,250
my life to figure out ways to help
people, uh, experience less of them.

278
00:12:48,829 --> 00:12:50,759
Guys, we've been getting to
know Anson just a little bit,

279
00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:52,210
who he is and connect with him.

280
00:12:52,685 --> 00:12:55,445
And the next part of the show,
we're going to dive into the under

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00:12:55,455 --> 00:12:57,715
discussed topic of men's mental health.

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00:12:58,105 --> 00:12:59,735
We're going to roll our sponsors
and we'll be right back with

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00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:00,575
more from Anson Whitmore.

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00:13:01,735 --> 00:13:04,425
Now, before we go any further,
I wanted to share with you guys.

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00:13:04,735 --> 00:13:08,655
I don't always tell you how
much I love doing my podcast.

286
00:13:09,234 --> 00:13:12,024
Like I passionately love what I'm doing.

287
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:16,365
And one of the things that makes my
life better as a podcaster is to work

288
00:13:16,365 --> 00:13:20,724
with a company like grow your show,
grow your show is a one stop podcast.

289
00:13:20,735 --> 00:13:21,324
Do it all.

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00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:24,635
Now I use grow your show for my
marketing, but grow your show

291
00:13:24,635 --> 00:13:26,004
is literally a one stop shop.

292
00:13:26,025 --> 00:13:28,354
You can record your episode
and just drop it off with them.

293
00:13:28,384 --> 00:13:29,265
And they take it from there.

294
00:13:29,314 --> 00:13:30,145
It's amazing.

295
00:13:30,869 --> 00:13:34,569
If you are interested in picking
up podcasting as a hobby, or maybe

296
00:13:34,569 --> 00:13:37,629
you're looking to expand your business
and use podcasting in that aspect.

297
00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:39,990
Talk to my friends over at Grow Your Show.

298
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,059
Adam will take care of you.

299
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:41,980
I guarantee it.

300
00:13:42,369 --> 00:13:43,009
I trust him.

301
00:13:43,019 --> 00:13:43,819
He's my friend.

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00:13:43,859 --> 00:13:48,670
He's my business colleague and I
wouldn't trust anybody else with my show.

303
00:13:49,179 --> 00:13:49,869
Guys, welcome back.

304
00:13:49,890 --> 00:13:51,710
In the first part of the show, we
just spent some time getting to

305
00:13:51,710 --> 00:13:55,850
know who Anson Whitmore is, what
he's about and connecting with.

306
00:13:56,625 --> 00:14:00,245
who we are in life right now in this
part of the show we're going to dive

307
00:14:00,245 --> 00:14:02,935
into men's mental health and a lot
of you know that I'm very passionate

308
00:14:02,935 --> 00:14:06,810
about this topic I don't think It's
something we talk about openly in the

309
00:14:06,810 --> 00:14:10,060
community of men, near enough, and
it needs to be a normal conversation.

310
00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,070
So we're going to get
into that with Anson.

311
00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:16,699
But first, we're going to ask Anson,
tell us, tell us the story, right?

312
00:14:16,710 --> 00:14:19,740
Because you've, you're a
neuroscientist, you've got apps,

313
00:14:19,779 --> 00:14:22,440
like this is, tell us about you.

314
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:27,479
Yeah, yeah, I, I don't really set out.

315
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:33,130
To work on men's mental health,
uh, in particular, but really

316
00:14:33,130 --> 00:14:37,410
looking back on it, it's just such a
logical next step for me to go here.

317
00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:41,080
I, my whole career, I've been
working in mental health really.

318
00:14:41,209 --> 00:14:46,669
And it started in many ways when I
was 19, my uncle who had been living

319
00:14:46,670 --> 00:14:51,700
with us to help us through tough times
when I was a kid at 19, when I was

320
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:56,600
19, he killed himself, uh, and that's
why I got my PhD in neuroscience.

321
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,650
Uh, I want to understand
why people like my uncle.

322
00:14:59,125 --> 00:15:03,725
Couldn't let go of his childhood, how that
led to depression, and ultimately suicide.

323
00:15:04,075 --> 00:15:07,065
My research is really focused
on rumination, or just that

324
00:15:07,065 --> 00:15:10,024
repetitive thinking where you
just can't let go of things.

325
00:15:11,224 --> 00:15:15,014
I was at Stanford doing research
on depression and anxiety.

326
00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:19,644
What are the cognitive, neural,
genetic causes of it, and my

327
00:15:19,644 --> 00:15:21,739
cousin other side of the family.

328
00:15:22,199 --> 00:15:23,340
He reached out to me.

329
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:29,510
I hadn't heard from him for a couple in
a few years and, uh, I didn't realize

330
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,989
from the message that he'd left that
it was a call for help and I didn't

331
00:15:32,989 --> 00:15:36,229
get back to him in time because a few
days later he killed himself as well.

332
00:15:37,099 --> 00:15:41,800
Uh, and that is what motivated me
in a major way to leave academia.

333
00:15:42,979 --> 00:15:45,339
Uh, we were just making tremendous
strides in understanding.

334
00:15:45,925 --> 00:15:48,235
What are the causes of mental illness?

335
00:15:48,704 --> 00:15:51,935
Um, but we're just doing so
little to scale up its solutions.

336
00:15:52,004 --> 00:15:56,954
Um, there's just not a strong seat of
academics, solutions, or moving fast.

337
00:15:57,204 --> 00:16:00,694
So for a dependent academia to do
this, I really believe it is going

338
00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:01,895
to take another hundred years.

339
00:16:01,934 --> 00:16:04,825
Um, so how do, how do
we move more quickly?

340
00:16:04,825 --> 00:16:07,164
And, um, that was a big
motivation going into tech.

341
00:16:08,154 --> 00:16:10,594
Um, and tech moves fast.

342
00:16:10,614 --> 00:16:11,904
They know how to scale things up.

343
00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:14,604
If there's a solution, they get it
into the hands of millions of people.

344
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:20,469
And I ended up joining, uh, CALM, a
mental health app, meditation app,

345
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:24,109
uh, as the founding data scientist.

346
00:16:24,140 --> 00:16:27,260
I was already pretty deep in machine
learning, AI kind of stuff, um,

347
00:16:27,269 --> 00:16:31,425
from my research, and I was employee
number 10, my co founder at Mental.

348
00:16:31,465 --> 00:16:32,795
He was the founding engineer.

349
00:16:33,005 --> 00:16:36,035
Basically built Calm with his bare hands.

350
00:16:36,035 --> 00:16:38,475
I think he wrote like 80 percent
of the code base over there.

351
00:16:38,535 --> 00:16:44,815
Um, and we, uh, you know, I
knew from research how much

352
00:16:44,844 --> 00:16:46,045
meditation could help you.

353
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:51,114
Back then it was still looked at
as pretty kind of niche and weird.

354
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:54,020
Um, We struggled to get
fundraising early on.

355
00:16:54,030 --> 00:16:57,780
One investor said, uh, meditation,
someone only done on college

356
00:16:57,780 --> 00:16:59,120
campuses and at Burning Man.

357
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:03,450
Um, and this is like 2017.

358
00:17:03,549 --> 00:17:06,089
Uh, so it's still kind
of really like woo woo.

359
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:09,029
Even though the research was behind
it, just nobody has spent the

360
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:13,209
time to make it feel more normal,
more commercial or mainstream.

361
00:17:13,209 --> 00:17:17,950
And it was a really big thing that we did
at Calm is we just kind of took away all

362
00:17:17,950 --> 00:17:20,370
those, those oddities are things that are.

363
00:17:20,945 --> 00:17:23,665
We're unusual to the American
culture and Western cultures

364
00:17:23,735 --> 00:17:25,795
made it more normal when we grew.

365
00:17:25,805 --> 00:17:31,355
We got tons of people in a meditation
millions Sometimes I would tell the head

366
00:17:31,355 --> 00:17:35,985
of UA user acquisition at home I was
like, I think maybe you got more people

367
00:17:35,985 --> 00:17:44,595
to meditate than anyone in the history of
humankind and So we were just, you know,

368
00:17:44,635 --> 00:17:48,905
proud of the work we did there, but it
was always just really clear, uh, that we

369
00:17:48,905 --> 00:17:50,445
were struggling to get through to guys.

370
00:17:51,435 --> 00:17:55,015
I look at the space, and it's
just clear, generally, we are

371
00:17:55,015 --> 00:17:56,505
struggling to get through to guys.

372
00:17:57,055 --> 00:17:59,944
There's, you know, men are
less likely to do therapy.

373
00:18:00,164 --> 00:18:02,205
You look at mental health app space.

374
00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:05,095
There's one report saying there's
been 20, 000 mental health apps

375
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:08,905
built, uh, basically since like
2017, which is pretty wild.

376
00:18:09,335 --> 00:18:13,595
Uh, and You know, a lot have been
built explicitly for women, so they're

377
00:18:13,595 --> 00:18:14,815
not getting it through to guys.

378
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:18,535
Uh, all the general use ones out there,
a lot of them are being used two to

379
00:18:18,535 --> 00:18:20,605
three times more by women than men.

380
00:18:20,665 --> 00:18:23,495
And if you look at their social
medias, the tools used, etc.

381
00:18:24,175 --> 00:18:28,074
Even though they say they're for a general
audience, they're pretty female centric,

382
00:18:28,145 --> 00:18:33,405
uh, when you look at it and, and the
problem to me, uh, you know, as I left

383
00:18:33,425 --> 00:18:40,145
home and started thinking about next steps
is men are 80 percent of suicides, mental

384
00:18:40,145 --> 00:18:45,475
health issues is Probably the biggest
cause of death in men under the age of 45.

385
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:48,005
We have a real mental health crisis.

386
00:18:48,635 --> 00:18:51,925
And if we don't figure out a way
to get through guys, we're never

387
00:18:51,925 --> 00:18:53,435
going to resolve a suicide crisis.

388
00:18:53,495 --> 00:18:55,155
This just won't happen.

389
00:18:55,835 --> 00:19:01,175
And we keep thinking these one size
fits all solutions are going to do it.

390
00:19:01,550 --> 00:19:04,700
But men's culture around mental
health, it is just different from

391
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:06,170
women's culture around mental health.

392
00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:10,600
We need different approaches, we
need different solutions, we need to

393
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:14,529
meet men where they're at instead of
expecting them to kind of come over

394
00:19:15,329 --> 00:19:17,329
and change before they get the help.

395
00:19:17,329 --> 00:19:19,959
This kind of weird catch
22 that exists right now.

396
00:19:20,469 --> 00:19:24,560
Um, and I think if we could follow that
kind of research on how to do it, uh,

397
00:19:24,669 --> 00:19:28,629
we can connect with men, we can help
them, and we can make a huge difference.

398
00:19:28,955 --> 00:19:32,715
And we ultimately will see
the suicide rate go down.

399
00:19:32,804 --> 00:19:38,135
And I think we're right now on this
precipice, where it's, you know,

400
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:41,354
five, ten years ago, it was weird
for men to think about mental health.

401
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:44,385
And I think now they're,
they're doing so a lot more.

402
00:19:44,385 --> 00:19:47,485
And I think in another five years
or so, it's going to be normal

403
00:19:47,495 --> 00:19:49,995
for guys to be doing stuff to
work on their mental health.

404
00:19:50,324 --> 00:19:54,675
They will actively realize
that it is important to work

405
00:19:54,675 --> 00:19:56,065
on it in a daily sort of way.

406
00:19:56,065 --> 00:20:01,190
So I think we're seeing this real Cultural
massive cultural shift happening and

407
00:20:01,570 --> 00:20:05,199
I believe mental app we're building
now the first mental health app built

408
00:20:05,199 --> 00:20:08,929
for men is going to be a brand that's
going to help push us over that

409
00:20:08,929 --> 00:20:12,639
tipping point and create this change
that I think we so desperately need.

410
00:20:14,469 --> 00:20:15,589
And so I'm going to say it.

411
00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:18,549
So, so, you know, that
way it's not on you.

412
00:20:18,749 --> 00:20:20,990
Um, it's my opinion and right.

413
00:20:21,030 --> 00:20:24,000
I'm just me guys, you know, I,
I'm opinionated about everything.

414
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,550
Uh, it's my opinion.

415
00:20:27,090 --> 00:20:30,640
based on conversations with other
mental health, uh, individuals, people

416
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:36,490
who specialize in mental health, that
most current forms of therapy or mental

417
00:20:36,490 --> 00:20:41,100
health treatment are actually geared more
around the way women's brains process

418
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:43,420
things and the way that women think.

419
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,219
Now, I know women can think however
they want, men can think however,

420
00:20:47,540 --> 00:20:50,930
but there is an instinctive way that
men and women prefer to deal with

421
00:20:50,940 --> 00:20:53,200
different stresses and different things.

422
00:20:53,895 --> 00:21:00,485
And that face to face cuddly conversation
that this traditional talk therapy is

423
00:21:00,485 --> 00:21:02,975
really not something that's aimed at men.

424
00:21:02,975 --> 00:21:07,605
That's not the way men process
things has been my experience.

425
00:21:09,175 --> 00:21:13,334
Do you think that has to do
with why we're having a, let

426
00:21:13,334 --> 00:21:15,624
me ask, do you, do you agree?

427
00:21:15,624 --> 00:21:19,725
Is there actually some kind of founding
behind my opinion on that or not?

428
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:22,000
Yeah, there's, there's a lot there.

429
00:21:22,010 --> 00:21:26,740
There's, uh, there are reasons to say
that the current therapeutic approach

430
00:21:26,740 --> 00:21:29,430
is female oriented, female centric.

431
00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:35,680
I mean, men, when they're stressed
about something, tend to prefer to try

432
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:40,220
to solve whatever is stressing them,
uh, while women are more likely to

433
00:21:40,230 --> 00:21:45,270
want to talk about how they feel about
being stressed, and therapy is a little

434
00:21:45,270 --> 00:21:47,030
bit more geared towards the latter.

435
00:21:47,380 --> 00:21:51,960
I think if you had If the mental health
profession was really built for men,

436
00:21:52,140 --> 00:21:55,430
instead of just being pure therapists,
they would be therapists slash coaches.

437
00:21:55,740 --> 00:21:59,940
As for example, you know, one classic
case is a guy who is struggling to

438
00:21:59,940 --> 00:22:04,490
get a job and, uh, goes to see a
therapist and therapists say, well,

439
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:06,590
how do you feel about not having a job?

440
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,049
And he's like, well, I feel like I
want to get a job, help me get a job.

441
00:22:10,019 --> 00:22:11,249
And that's kind of a coach, right?

442
00:22:11,259 --> 00:22:13,580
Like what are the steps you need
to take, holding you accountable,

443
00:22:13,580 --> 00:22:14,590
making sure it happens.

444
00:22:15,180 --> 00:22:19,240
But a therapist And then also go deeper
if there's a blocker there, you know,

445
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,130
the way you're showing up in interviews.

446
00:22:21,170 --> 00:22:24,390
Uh, if you're avoiding different
things, what's causing that?

447
00:22:24,420 --> 00:22:29,860
And so they're able to go deep, but
where you meet the man at is around

448
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,960
solving a problem and taking actions.

449
00:22:31,989 --> 00:22:33,179
That's the first step.

450
00:22:33,370 --> 00:22:36,749
And then you only kind of go deeper
into the other stuff if it's necessary

451
00:22:36,809 --> 00:22:40,600
versus We're going to prioritize
all the feeling part, that's the

452
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,500
first thing, and we'll always start
there, and we won't really even

453
00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:45,580
necessarily do any of the coaching bit.

454
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,549
Um, so yeah, that, that's part of it,
and what you're talking about, that face

455
00:22:49,549 --> 00:22:54,770
to face kind of thing, I mean that's
also really well known, is that, um,

456
00:22:55,069 --> 00:22:59,760
women tend to bond, are more likely to
bond face to face in conversations, uh,

457
00:22:59,770 --> 00:23:03,890
sharing, uh, feelings and how they're
working with, uh, relationships, etc.

458
00:23:04,509 --> 00:23:08,060
Men tend to bond in a way that's more
shoulder to shoulder, uh, where you're

459
00:23:08,070 --> 00:23:13,360
doing an activity together, uh, that
actually makes men more likely to

460
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,430
open up and share different things.

461
00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:19,730
Uh, if, we almost feel overly exposed
if we're sitting across from each other,

462
00:23:19,730 --> 00:23:22,220
making eye contact in ways that we don't.

463
00:23:22,289 --> 00:23:25,730
I mean, you take guys driving in a car
even, shoulder to shoulder, they're

464
00:23:25,730 --> 00:23:28,590
able to have deeper conversations
than they can if they're sitting

465
00:23:28,590 --> 00:23:30,510
across the table from each other.

466
00:23:30,570 --> 00:23:35,695
Um, but, so, when we think as well
about how to deal with, Loneliness and

467
00:23:35,695 --> 00:23:39,205
man, it's not necessarily just going to
these deep conversations is first and

468
00:23:39,205 --> 00:23:43,345
foremost, you know What are activities
that could bring us together to bond us

469
00:23:43,764 --> 00:23:47,565
then we will open up kind of more deeper
conversations about hey What's going on

470
00:23:47,565 --> 00:23:53,574
in life, etc So what I'm hearing here
is man, if you if you're working on your

471
00:23:53,574 --> 00:23:58,984
psychology or therapy What I don't even
understand what licenses do what but

472
00:23:58,984 --> 00:24:02,244
if that's something you're interested
maybe you should also get certified

473
00:24:02,244 --> 00:24:06,235
as personal trainer and just open a
gym and And work side by side, right?

474
00:24:06,284 --> 00:24:07,205
That's therapy.

475
00:24:07,685 --> 00:24:09,835
Talk to me about how I
feel about bench pressing.

476
00:24:09,875 --> 00:24:10,294
We're good.

477
00:24:11,344 --> 00:24:13,725
I mean, there's, there's
a massive amount there.

478
00:24:13,834 --> 00:24:19,254
I mean, look, I want to be careful
because therapy is research

479
00:24:19,274 --> 00:24:21,734
based and proven to help you.

480
00:24:21,935 --> 00:24:23,734
It is extremely effective.

481
00:24:23,864 --> 00:24:28,384
Um, but it's also, I, I view
everything in the space as different.

482
00:24:28,805 --> 00:24:29,435
They're tools.

483
00:24:30,155 --> 00:24:31,824
They serve different purposes.

484
00:24:32,135 --> 00:24:36,564
And to me, therapy, as I just said,
like with that person can't find the

485
00:24:36,564 --> 00:24:40,485
job, if there's a blocker there, like
the way they're showing up or they're

486
00:24:40,495 --> 00:24:42,984
avoiding different things, therapy
can help you figure that kind of stuff

487
00:24:42,985 --> 00:24:46,985
out or say something bad did happen
to you or you're going through grief.

488
00:24:47,005 --> 00:24:47,894
You lost somebody.

489
00:24:47,895 --> 00:24:49,905
Um, therapy is really good there.

490
00:24:50,595 --> 00:24:51,509
But if you look at.

491
00:24:51,850 --> 00:24:54,410
Uh, mental health issues.

492
00:24:54,460 --> 00:24:58,960
We're seeing a huge increase in people
struggling with their mental health.

493
00:24:59,030 --> 00:25:02,180
I mean, 80 percent of people
say they're stressed frequently.

494
00:25:02,230 --> 00:25:07,500
Um, their rates of depression, anxiety
keep going up year by year, particularly

495
00:25:07,530 --> 00:25:09,400
when you look at it since 2010.

496
00:25:09,580 --> 00:25:10,870
We've seen a huge increase.

497
00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:12,090
What happened in 2010?

498
00:25:12,130 --> 00:25:13,010
Smartphones.

499
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:17,160
Uh, and you just look at through
history where we're at compared to

500
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,180
a hundred years ago, our lifestyle.

501
00:25:19,790 --> 00:25:21,670
It's so freaking different now.

502
00:25:21,779 --> 00:25:23,330
It has changed a ton.

503
00:25:23,429 --> 00:25:25,430
Um, we sit all day.

504
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,490
Even if you exercise three
times a week, most of us are

505
00:25:28,490 --> 00:25:29,800
sitting the rest of the day.

506
00:25:29,860 --> 00:25:31,569
And we're sitting inside
where we don't get sun.

507
00:25:31,570 --> 00:25:32,770
We get light at night time.

508
00:25:32,839 --> 00:25:36,210
You know, we eat bad food instead
of socializing with friends.

509
00:25:36,935 --> 00:25:39,385
Look at social media
and hit the like button.

510
00:25:39,425 --> 00:25:44,565
Uh, there's so many parts of modern
society, the pressures and way

511
00:25:44,565 --> 00:25:46,915
we need to live now that aren't
good for our mental health, but

512
00:25:46,915 --> 00:25:48,695
it's just what our lifestyle is.

513
00:25:48,875 --> 00:25:50,775
But we're paying the consequences for it.

514
00:25:51,494 --> 00:25:54,354
And, look, if you actually went
and saw a therapist and they were a

515
00:25:54,354 --> 00:25:59,314
good therapist, The way they would
start and, and if your issue is not

516
00:25:59,314 --> 00:26:01,024
like, Hey, I'm going to have a loss.

517
00:26:01,044 --> 00:26:02,605
You're just like, I
feel kind of depressed.

518
00:26:02,735 --> 00:26:05,454
They would ask you like, what's
going on with your lifestyle?

519
00:26:05,465 --> 00:26:06,274
How are you eating?

520
00:26:06,315 --> 00:26:07,764
You know, are you socializing?

521
00:26:07,824 --> 00:26:13,524
And they would start by trying to fix the
lifestyle issues before they go into any

522
00:26:13,524 --> 00:26:16,184
kind of deep seated trauma, et cetera.

523
00:26:16,574 --> 00:26:18,334
And so to your point of.

524
00:26:18,575 --> 00:26:22,655
Lifting weights, going to the gym
and talking to somebody, well, yeah,

525
00:26:23,075 --> 00:26:28,275
exercising and socializing and being
present with other people and off

526
00:26:28,275 --> 00:26:30,615
your screens, massive difference.

527
00:26:30,625 --> 00:26:34,234
If you're not doing that and
you feel bad, you feel stressed,

528
00:26:34,235 --> 00:26:36,054
anxious, depressed, start there.

529
00:26:36,524 --> 00:26:40,175
There's a really good chance that that is
going to alleviate most of your issues.

530
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,550
If it doesn't and you fix other
parts of your lifestyle, eating well,

531
00:26:43,570 --> 00:26:46,520
getting off your screen more, etc,
and you're still struggling, okay,

532
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,250
maybe that's the time where you need
to go deeper and go see a therapist.

533
00:26:49,670 --> 00:26:52,290
But it's just kind of a
tool in where do you start.

534
00:26:52,350 --> 00:26:55,200
And I think for a lot of guys
out there, they're pretty open to

535
00:26:55,210 --> 00:26:58,100
starting with the lifestyle changes,
starting with changes with their

536
00:26:58,445 --> 00:27:00,225
How physical they are in exercise.

537
00:27:00,425 --> 00:27:03,625
They're just a little bit more
hesitant about going into talk therapy.

538
00:27:04,435 --> 00:27:08,675
Um, and I should, because I can, I can
come across pretty harsh on talk therapy.

539
00:27:08,725 --> 00:27:11,525
I'm not saying talk therapy
is not effective, gentlemen.

540
00:27:11,615 --> 00:27:14,105
I mean, let me be really clear
about this, because I don't want

541
00:27:14,105 --> 00:27:16,685
to discourage somebody from going
when they need to talk to somebody.

542
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:24,760
I'm saying, are suggesting that to
start those conversations with men,

543
00:27:25,660 --> 00:27:32,049
there may be a more effective tipping
point to start that work together.

544
00:27:33,159 --> 00:27:38,840
I think, uh, like a therapist, we'd
get a lot farther started going on a

545
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:43,020
walk and talking to somebody, right.

546
00:27:43,050 --> 00:27:47,620
Getting out of the office, which is an
uncomfortable environment for men, getting

547
00:27:47,620 --> 00:27:51,329
out of the face and just going for a walk
and starting that conversation there.

548
00:27:52,264 --> 00:27:55,485
per se than the traditional,
let's dive into this in the office

549
00:27:55,495 --> 00:27:57,625
for, you know, clinical setting.

550
00:27:58,255 --> 00:28:00,774
Uh, I think that would
be less imposing on men.

551
00:28:01,125 --> 00:28:04,845
So I think that there is
absolutely a value to talk therapy.

552
00:28:05,905 --> 00:28:10,804
I think the initiation of that could
be done better in some circumstances.

553
00:28:11,054 --> 00:28:13,054
And I'm sure there's probably a
therapist out there who actually

554
00:28:13,054 --> 00:28:14,004
does something like that.

555
00:28:14,534 --> 00:28:14,994
Oh yeah.

556
00:28:15,084 --> 00:28:18,354
Uh, just my experience
with them was never.

557
00:28:19,340 --> 00:28:21,410
It was here's the chair.

558
00:28:21,670 --> 00:28:23,130
You're looking at me.

559
00:28:23,230 --> 00:28:23,410
Now.

560
00:28:23,410 --> 00:28:24,350
How do you feel about that?

561
00:28:24,350 --> 00:28:29,540
Dallin really feel like I want to throw
something at you right now, you know It's

562
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:35,589
not a healthy Start for me that way so
I have a slightly slanted guys I have

563
00:28:35,590 --> 00:28:37,949
been to a therapist a long time ago.

564
00:28:37,990 --> 00:28:40,340
It was not a really positive experience.

565
00:28:40,899 --> 00:28:43,875
It was a very traumatic Scenario.

566
00:28:44,435 --> 00:28:48,564
So part of it had to do with the
situation I was in and where I was

567
00:28:48,564 --> 00:28:49,855
in, I was in the military at the time.

568
00:28:49,855 --> 00:28:51,334
It was, it was a mess.

569
00:28:51,334 --> 00:28:53,824
So I'm probably a little shaded, but
I just think there's better ways to

570
00:28:53,830 --> 00:28:57,855
start that conversation with men that
are gonna let men open up better.

571
00:28:59,034 --> 00:28:59,304
Yeah.

572
00:28:59,304 --> 00:29:00,205
And that's, uh.

573
00:29:00,580 --> 00:29:05,110
So one of my team, he's a chair
of a psych department and a world

574
00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:06,340
expert in men's mental health.

575
00:29:06,409 --> 00:29:10,570
And a lot of his research is
how to get through to guys and

576
00:29:10,570 --> 00:29:12,429
talk to them the way that works.

577
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:16,739
Um, and I love his approach because
it is, uh, he builds off like a

578
00:29:16,739 --> 00:29:18,259
strength based approach to masculinity.

579
00:29:18,260 --> 00:29:21,824
So instead of like, Hey, masculinity
is He has all these problems, he's

580
00:29:22,094 --> 00:29:23,915
full of deficits, and he's toxic, etc.

581
00:29:23,935 --> 00:29:25,085
He doesn't do any of that.

582
00:29:25,105 --> 00:29:28,755
He's like, masculinity has
all these great sides to it.

583
00:29:28,844 --> 00:29:33,014
So I'm going to find ways to meet guys
there and assume that masculinity is good.

584
00:29:33,014 --> 00:29:37,155
And what are ways that you
could work if you're a therapist

585
00:29:37,175 --> 00:29:38,215
with men in a better way?

586
00:29:38,255 --> 00:29:41,145
And one is, yeah, go for
walks with, with men.

587
00:29:41,395 --> 00:29:42,665
It is a really effective way.

588
00:29:43,575 --> 00:29:48,264
Um, I think unfortunately, there's the
way training is done in grad schools,

589
00:29:48,304 --> 00:29:51,185
there's not enough work being done.

590
00:29:51,860 --> 00:29:56,820
across different programs to teach,
uh, up and coming therapists how

591
00:29:56,820 --> 00:29:57,919
to work with men in particular.

592
00:29:58,475 --> 00:30:03,675
Usually, in fact, there's kind of a,
uh, gendered work, uh, being done.

593
00:30:03,685 --> 00:30:08,705
It's really focused on, uh, working with
females and, and, and women's health,

594
00:30:09,925 --> 00:30:12,705
which in some ways is understandable
if you kind of look back on, you

595
00:30:12,705 --> 00:30:19,035
know, historical dynamics, but in
the mental health fashion, it's 75

596
00:30:19,035 --> 00:30:21,445
percent of therapists are female.

597
00:30:21,555 --> 00:30:26,980
Um, most of the clientele are female,
uh, most researchers in space are female.

598
00:30:27,010 --> 00:30:29,910
So it, it, the people involved
there are mostly female.

599
00:30:29,910 --> 00:30:33,110
So it's actually one space where
it's really clear that there needs to

600
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:36,980
be actual work done to the opposite
end, uh, of understanding men.

601
00:30:37,270 --> 00:30:39,870
Like an example of this is I think
a lot of therapists out there.

602
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:45,100
don't understand, uh, what
is a male form of depression.

603
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:50,090
Uh, there's traditional form of
depression, which is just, uh, it shows

604
00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:55,130
up where you have anhedonia, a lack
of pleasure, or you feel sad, etc.

605
00:30:55,950 --> 00:30:59,910
Um, but for men, and if you were
to measure that in men, they're,

606
00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:03,470
you know, way less likely to
ever become depressed than women.

607
00:31:03,900 --> 00:31:07,700
But research lately has gone, wait, how
does depression actually show up in men?

608
00:31:07,750 --> 00:31:08,890
And it shows up differently.

609
00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:13,920
It shows up by anger, irritation,
uh, men descending into risk

610
00:31:13,950 --> 00:31:17,580
taking, into substance abuse,
men descending into workaholism.

611
00:31:17,660 --> 00:31:21,260
Uh, there's different ways that
it shows up with men and there's

612
00:31:21,270 --> 00:31:22,700
an avoidance component to it.

613
00:31:23,090 --> 00:31:25,830
And so it doesn't show up
just as the pure sadness side.

614
00:31:26,380 --> 00:31:29,150
But the issue is, is that if
therapists haven't been trained to

615
00:31:29,150 --> 00:31:33,660
spot that, they might not see a guy
who's angry and look behind that

616
00:31:33,690 --> 00:31:36,970
anger and go, well, oh, it's sadness.

617
00:31:37,220 --> 00:31:38,940
Oh, there's depression underneath here.

618
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:40,090
That's what's happening.

619
00:31:40,730 --> 00:31:46,910
Uh, so I'm really strongly believe that
a big need we need to see if we're gonna

620
00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:51,400
improve men's mental health is that the
therapy industry in general needs to

621
00:31:51,410 --> 00:31:53,860
become more aware of gender differences.

622
00:31:54,245 --> 00:31:56,785
And there needs to be more training
of therapists out there about

623
00:31:56,785 --> 00:31:58,705
how to work with men for walks.

624
00:31:58,715 --> 00:32:02,785
Understand mild depression, understand
that there maybe needs to be an

625
00:32:02,795 --> 00:32:05,495
element of coaching that goes with
the therapy and there needs to be a

626
00:32:05,495 --> 00:32:06,895
little bit more flexibility there.

627
00:32:09,965 --> 00:32:15,130
Why, why has it been, I understand
that it's been traditionally More

628
00:32:15,130 --> 00:32:19,750
female involvement in, uh, becoming
therapists and stuff like that.

629
00:32:19,750 --> 00:32:25,730
And working in therapy, why is men's
mental health such a awkward subject?

630
00:32:26,310 --> 00:32:28,080
I mean, we can look at the stats.

631
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,280
I love stats.

632
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,500
I'm a, I'm a huge stat nerd when
it comes to things like this and

633
00:32:32,500 --> 00:32:36,510
we can see the stats and the stats
have been, I mean, especially when

634
00:32:36,510 --> 00:32:37,870
you start talking about suicide.

635
00:32:38,425 --> 00:32:44,085
Uh, and depression, anxiety, the
stats have been there for a, it's not

636
00:32:44,085 --> 00:32:45,435
a short number at this point, right?

637
00:32:45,435 --> 00:32:47,215
It's not a new issue.

638
00:32:48,205 --> 00:32:53,335
So why has it been such an awkward
conversation so far in your opinion?

639
00:32:54,865 --> 00:32:55,275
Yeah.

640
00:32:56,785 --> 00:32:56,985
Yeah.

641
00:32:56,985 --> 00:32:58,925
I mean, that's tough.

642
00:32:58,955 --> 00:33:03,905
It's, it is a little bit
infuriating that for so long,

643
00:33:03,905 --> 00:33:05,675
it's just kind of been dismissed.

644
00:33:06,155 --> 00:33:12,910
Uh, and I, I think there's this element
where, uh, There's a, a blame that gets

645
00:33:12,930 --> 00:33:20,380
placed on men, I, so it's like men with
the suicide, well, it's men's fault for

646
00:33:20,460 --> 00:33:27,470
not dealing with their mental health, um,
and there's an element where men have,

647
00:33:27,790 --> 00:33:32,570
uh, been socialized for a long times
to like, Hey, growing up, don't cry.

648
00:33:32,980 --> 00:33:34,480
I think that's kind of diminished.

649
00:33:34,490 --> 00:33:36,940
It's like, okay, it's not
actually that bad of a thing.

650
00:33:37,390 --> 00:33:40,930
Um, I think there's elements,
you know, where we've been

651
00:33:40,940 --> 00:33:42,370
taught to control our emotions.

652
00:33:43,115 --> 00:33:47,555
And there's a really good side to that
that enables you to perform, uh, makes

653
00:33:47,555 --> 00:33:51,055
you resilient and makes you tough in
certain situations, but it could also

654
00:33:51,055 --> 00:33:56,145
have a negative side, um, where there are
times where you need to process and let

655
00:33:56,145 --> 00:33:57,895
go of the control so you can handle it.

656
00:33:58,485 --> 00:34:00,955
Uh, and move past
different problem points.

657
00:34:01,465 --> 00:34:06,805
So, I think there's an element that
masculinity and men bring that to the

658
00:34:06,805 --> 00:34:10,915
table, and so they get blamed for not,
uh, dealing with their mental health,

659
00:34:10,955 --> 00:34:12,175
and so it's kind of their fault.

660
00:34:12,405 --> 00:34:17,965
Um, and instead of going,
well, what are we doing to help

661
00:34:18,045 --> 00:34:20,255
men deal with things better?

662
00:34:20,335 --> 00:34:23,615
What are we doing as a,
like a system to help them?

663
00:34:23,635 --> 00:34:27,065
How are we creating more solutions
that will fit with their needs?

664
00:34:27,615 --> 00:34:30,505
Um, instead of just telling them
to be different, why aren't we

665
00:34:30,505 --> 00:34:33,015
meeting them where they're at and
helping them from that point on?

666
00:34:33,675 --> 00:34:39,255
It's like, there's just some weird
cultural, kind of, war stuff that

667
00:34:39,255 --> 00:34:43,425
happens in here that makes it a little
bit hard to just do what I think is

668
00:34:43,425 --> 00:34:48,885
important, which is Help people who
are suffering, um, and ignore all that

669
00:34:48,885 --> 00:34:51,205
other crap and just focus on that.

670
00:34:52,565 --> 00:34:57,195
Um, we, we talk about stoicism
periodically here on the channel and I,

671
00:34:57,285 --> 00:35:00,095
I'm a big fan of several stoic principles.

672
00:35:00,605 --> 00:35:06,535
However, one of the holes in that is,
I think is a gift that men are able to

673
00:35:06,835 --> 00:35:08,965
control their responses, their emotions.

674
00:35:09,825 --> 00:35:13,845
Uh, I think it enables men to do a lot
of things they couldn't do otherwise.

675
00:35:13,865 --> 00:35:17,575
However, there's never the tail
end of that when we're like,

676
00:35:17,575 --> 00:35:21,045
you know, control your emotions,
control your responses to things.

677
00:35:21,505 --> 00:35:23,345
But we never finished that sentence.

678
00:35:24,335 --> 00:35:28,905
And find a healthy outlet to
process that with once you're

679
00:35:28,905 --> 00:35:31,435
out of that scenario, right?

680
00:35:31,805 --> 00:35:34,535
That was one of the things
my dad worked with me with.

681
00:35:34,535 --> 00:35:36,505
I had anger issues in junior high.

682
00:35:36,885 --> 00:35:37,675
I was bullied.

683
00:35:37,675 --> 00:35:38,815
I was the fat kid.

684
00:35:39,025 --> 00:35:44,214
And so I was bullied and I was picked on
and I developed some major anger issues.

685
00:35:44,745 --> 00:35:45,895
And I would go split wood.

686
00:35:45,905 --> 00:35:49,975
I get home from school, like drop my
bag and go outside and just split wood

687
00:35:50,535 --> 00:35:55,205
because I had to, it was the only way
I could not take someone's head off.

688
00:35:55,215 --> 00:35:59,305
Cause I was getting to the point
where you said the wrong thing to me.

689
00:35:59,305 --> 00:36:01,485
And like, I'd bounce you
off a hallway locker.

690
00:36:01,535 --> 00:36:04,885
Cause I would went through a growth spurt
and all of a sudden I was bigger than

691
00:36:04,885 --> 00:36:07,215
everybody and stronger than everybody.

692
00:36:07,950 --> 00:36:12,360
But I was already so angry so my dad
started just the best he could do because

693
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:16,490
he knew I wasn't ready to talk About
things was he gave me a physical outlet

694
00:36:16,510 --> 00:36:23,080
to blow off and let me work But I don't
think we have that conversation when we

695
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:28,970
talk about it in modern masculinity we
go control things, but we don't then say

696
00:36:29,510 --> 00:36:35,335
but you have to find that healthy outlet
for you to process a And deal with those

697
00:36:35,335 --> 00:36:38,055
emotions and those feelings, right?

698
00:36:38,055 --> 00:36:39,945
I think we're missing
part of that conversation.

699
00:36:40,465 --> 00:36:42,635
Yeah, this is so spot on.

700
00:36:42,705 --> 00:36:48,235
Um, yeah, I didn't, I appreciate you
bringing up stoicism and, you know,

701
00:36:48,285 --> 00:36:52,675
things like mental toughness, the
word mental toughness, particularly

702
00:36:52,675 --> 00:36:57,055
with men is almost like viewed as a
negative because it's like, oh, okay.

703
00:36:57,055 --> 00:36:58,945
That means, you know, men
are processing things.

704
00:36:58,945 --> 00:37:02,525
They're just trying to be tough, but
look at the research on mental toughness.

705
00:37:02,780 --> 00:37:06,420
It is hugely valuable to
be more mentally tough.

706
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:07,780
It makes you resilient to stress.

707
00:37:07,780 --> 00:37:09,390
It means you can perform under pressure.

708
00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:11,700
It means you can accomplish
things that other people can't.

709
00:37:11,790 --> 00:37:17,780
It is, uh, something that we are actually
seeing a decrease in, in people over time.

710
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:19,800
I mean, it's something we should
be cultivating the opposite in.

711
00:37:20,010 --> 00:37:21,210
More mental toughness.

712
00:37:21,220 --> 00:37:22,260
It is good for society.

713
00:37:22,260 --> 00:37:22,950
It's good for you.

714
00:37:23,870 --> 00:37:28,740
Um, and so, and I, I think with men,
they're not hearing the message.

715
00:37:28,740 --> 00:37:32,000
This is kind of like a part of
masculinity, uh, that controlling

716
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,770
of the emotions and, uh, drive
towards that mental toughness.

717
00:37:35,870 --> 00:37:41,500
And it's, I feel like a part we should
appreciate and encourage, you know, when

718
00:37:41,500 --> 00:37:48,450
I also talk about masculinity, it's when
you look at research, um, different ideas

719
00:37:48,450 --> 00:37:51,200
of what it means to be a masculine man.

720
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:53,220
And, and, you know, there
could be traditional.

721
00:37:53,590 --> 00:37:57,490
Ideas masculinity conservative
progressive ideas masculinity.

722
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,760
There's all kinds of different
ideas what it means to be a man

723
00:38:01,270 --> 00:38:06,060
the research Doesn't show that any
single one of them is an issue.

724
00:38:06,270 --> 00:38:09,210
Um, traditional masculinity is fine.

725
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:14,140
The only way you get into problems with
any form of whatever your view is of

726
00:38:14,140 --> 00:38:18,820
masculinity is when you have a really
rigid take on what it means to be a man

727
00:38:18,870 --> 00:38:21,810
and that you always have to embody that.

728
00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:25,580
So, hey, to be a man is to be
mentally tough and control emotions.

729
00:38:25,890 --> 00:38:29,560
That means a hundred percent of my
time, I always need to be mentally

730
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:31,980
tough and control my emotions.

731
00:38:32,060 --> 00:38:33,900
And that is just not the case.

732
00:38:33,970 --> 00:38:37,650
Uh, you know, one of our
protocols, we have a master chief,

733
00:38:37,710 --> 00:38:40,090
uh, Navy SEAL who teaches it.

734
00:38:40,170 --> 00:38:42,800
And he was talking about in combat.

735
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:46,820
He's like, you know, in combat, uh,
if someone breaks down and cries,

736
00:38:47,140 --> 00:38:49,040
uh, it's not going to go well.

737
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:50,570
Like, you can't do that.

738
00:38:51,550 --> 00:38:53,720
Uh, you need to be in
control of your emotions.

739
00:38:54,820 --> 00:39:00,760
You know, if you've lost a comrade and
you're like at the funeral, um, and that

740
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:05,020
is a moment where it might be actually
good for you to grieve and let go of some

741
00:39:05,020 --> 00:39:10,480
of those emotions and not be in emotional
control, because ultimately you then, um.

742
00:39:11,210 --> 00:39:16,760
You know, more fine with whatever is
happening in life, more present, more able

743
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:22,960
to, you know, continue living a good life
if you sometimes do let go of that control

744
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,010
and process and deal with those emotions.

745
00:39:25,300 --> 00:39:26,910
So I think it's just really important.

746
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:31,495
It's like, It doesn't matter what your
view of masculinity is and if mental

747
00:39:31,495 --> 00:39:36,455
toughness is good, but it's just, we need
to realize being flexible in situations.

748
00:39:36,605 --> 00:39:39,205
That's where we open up a
lot of doors for ourselves.

749
00:39:39,535 --> 00:39:43,665
And that's why I often talk about, Hey,
just view everything as a different tool.

750
00:39:43,705 --> 00:39:45,565
What's the right tool
for the right moment?

751
00:39:45,745 --> 00:39:51,035
Uh, sometimes the tool in the moment
is to let go and deal with those

752
00:39:51,035 --> 00:39:53,155
emotions of sadness from a loss.

753
00:39:55,155 --> 00:39:58,185
Have you heard, uh, the
song from Dax to be a man?

754
00:39:59,935 --> 00:40:02,195
It was making a circle on social
media a couple months ago.

755
00:40:02,795 --> 00:40:03,575
Yeah, I didn't hear it.

756
00:40:03,645 --> 00:40:06,815
Yeah, Darius Rucker, Darius
Rucker re recorded it with him.

757
00:40:06,825 --> 00:40:08,484
Like it was a great duet.

758
00:40:08,665 --> 00:40:11,585
You should go check it out because
it's dealing with that concept of

759
00:40:12,645 --> 00:40:16,835
what is a man in modern society and
the pressures on them and stuff.

760
00:40:17,185 --> 00:40:21,835
I think it would really resonate
with some of the work you're doing.

761
00:40:22,265 --> 00:40:24,175
Now guys, I want to be fully transparent.

762
00:40:25,055 --> 00:40:27,465
I use the mental app currently.

763
00:40:27,795 --> 00:40:32,085
Uh, Anson was generous enough to
help me get started with that.

764
00:40:32,115 --> 00:40:35,795
And I've been using it regularly and
I will give you guys a full review on

765
00:40:35,795 --> 00:40:39,445
that upcoming, uh, not in this show, of
course, I don't want to take up that time.

766
00:40:40,225 --> 00:40:41,505
But I am using it.

767
00:40:41,585 --> 00:40:46,475
I've been using it now for I want to
say six or seven weeks Awesome, and I

768
00:40:46,485 --> 00:40:50,695
absolutely love this app You've heard
me talk about it once or twice on social

769
00:40:50,695 --> 00:40:55,435
media if you follow me on Instagram
But in the next part of show we was

770
00:40:55,465 --> 00:40:58,815
we've been talking about mental health
in general right now in the next part

771
00:40:58,815 --> 00:41:02,475
of show I'm we're gonna talk a little
bit about mental and how it works.

772
00:41:02,765 --> 00:41:04,345
How is different then?

773
00:41:04,815 --> 00:41:06,915
Some of the other options
that are out there.

774
00:41:07,005 --> 00:41:11,335
Uh, I will tell you, I'm, I'm a believer
after using it for several weeks.

775
00:41:11,725 --> 00:41:13,575
I look forward to using it.

776
00:41:14,055 --> 00:41:15,275
Uh, I'm enjoying it.

777
00:41:15,345 --> 00:41:18,845
I've been testing out protocols because I
wanted to give you guys full information

778
00:41:18,845 --> 00:41:23,495
about it and have a working knowledge
of it before I had answered on the show.

779
00:41:24,045 --> 00:41:25,305
So we're going to dive
into that a little bit.

780
00:41:25,305 --> 00:41:27,035
We're going to dive into how you can.

781
00:41:27,445 --> 00:41:31,935
Work on your own mental health and why
you should as a man, uh, we're going

782
00:41:31,935 --> 00:41:35,105
to go to our sponsor and we'll be right
back with more from answering Whitmore.

783
00:41:35,855 --> 00:41:37,085
How well do you sleep at night?

784
00:41:37,195 --> 00:41:39,765
Do you toss and turn and wake up
more tired than when you went to bed?

785
00:41:40,315 --> 00:41:42,935
Sleep is commonly one of
the critical elements people

786
00:41:42,935 --> 00:41:44,235
fall short on in their life.

787
00:41:44,565 --> 00:41:47,415
The quality of sleep you get directly
affects your ability to control

788
00:41:47,415 --> 00:41:50,815
your weight, your ability to add
muscle, your stress levels, and your

789
00:41:50,855 --> 00:41:52,455
everyday job and life performance.

790
00:41:53,150 --> 00:41:57,170
If you're ready to move to the next level
and sleep has to be part of the plan.

791
00:41:57,710 --> 00:41:59,120
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792
00:41:59,120 --> 00:41:59,410
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793
00:41:59,420 --> 00:42:01,870
If you're ready to get your
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794
00:42:01,870 --> 00:42:05,010
I've been sleeping on one for a
couple of years and has made a huge

795
00:42:05,010 --> 00:42:07,380
difference in how I sleep, hit ghostbed.

796
00:42:07,420 --> 00:42:07,670
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797
00:42:07,670 --> 00:42:11,690
Use the code, the fallible man, 30 to
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798
00:42:11,690 --> 00:42:13,530
getting better night's sleep tomorrow.

799
00:42:14,570 --> 00:42:17,020
Now let's go on to the show guys.

800
00:42:17,020 --> 00:42:18,490
Welcome back in the last part of the show.

801
00:42:18,500 --> 00:42:21,100
We've been diving into men's
mental health, which is.

802
00:42:21,525 --> 00:42:25,895
As you know, we believe is a really
important topic here on the show and

803
00:42:25,975 --> 00:42:32,755
Anson is just giving us a ton, a ton
of value in this, in this part of the

804
00:42:32,755 --> 00:42:37,465
show, we're going to talk a little bit
about the approach that they are taking

805
00:42:37,475 --> 00:42:39,355
with the middle of the mental app.

806
00:42:40,205 --> 00:42:42,635
I almost blurred that into one
word, the mental health app

807
00:42:42,685 --> 00:42:45,405
and I would get that right.

808
00:42:45,445 --> 00:42:45,725
Yep.

809
00:42:45,825 --> 00:42:46,055
Yeah.

810
00:42:47,045 --> 00:42:47,605
Kind of intentional.

811
00:42:48,115 --> 00:42:48,895
A different approach.

812
00:42:48,915 --> 00:42:54,215
Cause like it fascinated me when I
first got in contact with you guys, you

813
00:42:54,215 --> 00:42:56,615
said your first hire was a comedian.

814
00:42:58,125 --> 00:43:00,515
This is not something we generally
associate with mental health.

815
00:43:00,615 --> 00:43:02,235
So you instantly had my attention.

816
00:43:02,470 --> 00:43:06,900
It's like, wait, how does that work?

817
00:43:07,010 --> 00:43:09,810
So you guys are coming at a
totally different approach

818
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:11,890
aimed specifically at men.

819
00:43:12,340 --> 00:43:15,210
I already told you guys, I'm
having an incredible experience.

820
00:43:15,240 --> 00:43:18,020
I'm loving using this app
as part of my daily life.

821
00:43:18,570 --> 00:43:21,500
Uh, there are days I miss it because
I get busy and I tend to send my

822
00:43:21,500 --> 00:43:25,550
phone to the side and just focus on
editing or whatever I've got that day.

823
00:43:26,060 --> 00:43:32,340
And I actually noticed the days I don't
use it now after using it for, uh,

824
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:35,820
seven, eight weeks, I actually take note.

825
00:43:35,860 --> 00:43:37,670
My brain's like, you didn't do that today.

826
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,780
So I'm having a really great experience
with this, but tell us a little bit

827
00:43:43,790 --> 00:43:45,680
about this approach you guys are taking.

828
00:43:46,615 --> 00:43:46,975
Yeah.

829
00:43:47,795 --> 00:43:48,805
Yeah, definitely.

830
00:43:48,995 --> 00:43:54,525
Uh, only the only mental health company
app or anyone in the space who made

831
00:43:54,525 --> 00:43:56,485
hiring a comedian their first hire.

832
00:43:58,145 --> 00:43:59,795
And it's mental health.

833
00:43:59,815 --> 00:44:02,485
I mean, everyone here
has heard my story now.

834
00:44:03,105 --> 00:44:07,695
Mental health issues can be serious,
um, but it doesn't always have to be

835
00:44:07,695 --> 00:44:11,935
so damn serious, uh, and it's, I think
also you want to get through to guys,

836
00:44:11,955 --> 00:44:16,215
it can't be, you know, when I talk to my
buddies about what's going on with me,

837
00:44:16,235 --> 00:44:20,145
we always bring some amount of levity
and humor to it, it's just our way of

838
00:44:20,145 --> 00:44:24,225
talking about this kind of stuff, and,
but I also just think about it, it's like,

839
00:44:24,875 --> 00:44:30,390
man, All serious and boring and would I
prefer to do that or go look at social

840
00:44:30,390 --> 00:44:32,240
media or all the other things I could do?

841
00:44:32,240 --> 00:44:35,810
There's a lot of competition for
our attention right now And I think

842
00:44:35,820 --> 00:44:40,510
about like a brand like Liquid Death
who took something like water that

843
00:44:40,510 --> 00:44:44,460
was just like boring and serious
They made it fun and entertaining.

844
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,950
I'm like, why doesn't someone do
this in the mental health space?

845
00:44:46,950 --> 00:44:49,940
It's just like why can't we just
make it a little bit more fun?

846
00:44:50,285 --> 00:44:53,325
If you want guys to do stuff here
every day, it's got to be fun.

847
00:44:53,545 --> 00:44:56,385
If it's just serious, hard
work, you're only going to

848
00:44:56,385 --> 00:44:57,745
get through to so many folks.

849
00:44:58,295 --> 00:45:03,525
Um, so yeah, that's a big part and,
and a big part, probably already

850
00:45:03,635 --> 00:45:05,975
picking up on some of the ways that
we're approaching it differently of

851
00:45:06,005 --> 00:45:09,825
like thinking from the ground floor,
you know, what are men's needs?

852
00:45:09,825 --> 00:45:12,445
How do we meet them where they're
at and build them up from there?

853
00:45:12,655 --> 00:45:16,510
Um, And some of it is, you know,
guys are pretty open to tweaking

854
00:45:16,510 --> 00:45:19,780
their lifestyle and lifestyle
issues are such a major factor.

855
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:25,530
So there's one part of the app that's
just all kind of content, uh, media that

856
00:45:25,530 --> 00:45:30,045
is, uh, We call it a mental tainment
platform or entertainment for your mind,

857
00:45:30,115 --> 00:45:34,375
uh, it's supposed to fit seamlessly into
your daily routine to kind of just tweak

858
00:45:34,455 --> 00:45:36,285
what those routines are in a better way.

859
00:45:36,735 --> 00:45:40,155
Tongue in Cheek V1 of, uh,
the app was built around men's

860
00:45:40,225 --> 00:45:42,325
shit, shower, and shave routine.

861
00:45:42,465 --> 00:45:45,375
Um, so you have like the two
minutes of the daily deuce.

862
00:45:45,375 --> 00:45:49,065
So, uh, instead of doom
scrolling away your daily deuce,

863
00:45:49,205 --> 00:45:50,525
listen to the daily deuce.

864
00:45:50,555 --> 00:45:53,585
Uh, get a little bit of wisdom,
motivation, encouragement.

865
00:45:54,365 --> 00:45:58,975
I think of it almost like a microdose
of just mindset shift, where it's just

866
00:45:59,055 --> 00:46:02,675
a little story each day that pushes
your mind in the right direction,

867
00:46:03,215 --> 00:46:07,175
even if you've, if it's a lesson
you've heard before, rehearing it,

868
00:46:07,175 --> 00:46:11,675
it's just so important to have just a
little bit of good words in your mind

869
00:46:11,675 --> 00:46:15,995
ringing through your, through your
morning, um, cold shower protocol.

870
00:46:16,665 --> 00:46:17,565
I just love this.

871
00:46:19,545 --> 00:46:20,715
I'm on this guys.

872
00:46:20,775 --> 00:46:21,015
It's.

873
00:46:22,490 --> 00:46:25,040
And, and you got like the best
person in the world, like this,

874
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:28,820
the honest to God, I would not have
done this with you had found anybody

875
00:46:28,820 --> 00:46:30,320
else to oversee this protocol.

876
00:46:30,990 --> 00:46:31,400
Amazing.

877
00:46:31,810 --> 00:46:32,740
Please share that.

878
00:46:33,410 --> 00:46:33,760
Yeah.

879
00:46:33,840 --> 00:46:34,050
Yeah.

880
00:46:34,100 --> 00:46:37,390
He's, uh, uh, about to start
recording more content with us.

881
00:46:37,390 --> 00:46:39,730
He's a master chief Navy SEAL.

882
00:46:40,710 --> 00:46:44,800
So this is guided, uh, cold shower
protocol where you actually press the

883
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:48,390
start button before you get into a hot
shower, um, so you do a normal shower and

884
00:46:48,390 --> 00:46:53,330
then he kind of starts talking as you're,
you know, finish up your hot shower.

885
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:56,040
You could set the time of how
long you want to do hot and then

886
00:46:56,050 --> 00:46:59,420
builds you up to turn the handle
to cold and just starts really easy

887
00:46:59,430 --> 00:47:01,210
habit formation, just showing up.

888
00:47:01,475 --> 00:47:06,255
5 seconds of cold water and it builds
up slowly over time to do it more cold.

889
00:47:06,845 --> 00:47:12,685
Uh, but everyday he gives you a mental
tool that's either from the seals or kind

890
00:47:12,685 --> 00:47:17,315
of, uh, mental health, uh, neuroscience,
mental health industry generally.

891
00:47:17,995 --> 00:47:22,505
But the tool's about how to handle
the stress and difficulty of

892
00:47:22,505 --> 00:47:24,055
something hard like cold water.

893
00:47:24,455 --> 00:47:27,875
And so you use that tool right
in the moment to handle the cold

894
00:47:27,915 --> 00:47:29,735
and it makes it a lot easier.

895
00:47:30,165 --> 00:47:35,145
Um, but you're also having to laugh the
same of comedian we have like pops in, uh,

896
00:47:35,155 --> 00:47:40,145
for different episodes and, uh, and he's
not a drill sergeant just yelling at you.

897
00:47:40,175 --> 00:47:44,335
There's amazing stories of his
time in combat, but also his time

898
00:47:44,335 --> 00:47:47,535
building out the warrior toughness
program for the, for the Navy.

899
00:47:47,535 --> 00:47:48,595
And, uh, there's.

900
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:53,790
It's entertaining, but really what
I is just so cool about is you

901
00:47:53,790 --> 00:47:58,310
ultimately you're training on your
stress to handle stress differently.

902
00:47:58,610 --> 00:48:00,660
And what we hear from
a lot of folks is that.

903
00:48:01,340 --> 00:48:06,050
Uh, every day kind of stress, like kids
yelling in the backseat, they're on a date

904
00:48:06,050 --> 00:48:07,590
or interviewing or something like that.

905
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:10,080
They just show up really differently.

906
00:48:10,110 --> 00:48:15,130
These kind of mental tools that they learn
turn on, uh, they stay relaxed, they stay

907
00:48:15,130 --> 00:48:17,120
focused and they handle themselves better.

908
00:48:17,170 --> 00:48:22,210
Um, and this is the part, we had a guy
write in recently, he said, um, He's a

909
00:48:22,210 --> 00:48:27,200
teacher and there was a school shooting
situation that happened and ended up

910
00:48:27,210 --> 00:48:33,630
being a false alarm But he said there's
three tools from the protocol That just

911
00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:38,740
all naturally turned on in the moment
He was like I handled myself the way I

912
00:48:38,740 --> 00:48:42,400
wanted to handle myself in front of my
students that I was the leader I wanted

913
00:48:42,410 --> 00:48:45,840
to be in that situation in ways that I
just would not have been two months ago

914
00:48:46,470 --> 00:48:49,110
And then we're like, you can amaze it.

915
00:48:49,370 --> 00:48:52,050
Um, yeah.

916
00:48:52,130 --> 00:48:56,100
And so that's, uh, that part of the
app is lifestyle kind of changes.

917
00:48:56,100 --> 00:49:02,940
And, um, and then we also have, uh,
AI coach, um, who can go deeper, uh,

918
00:49:02,940 --> 00:49:08,260
into what's going on with you if you're
kind of struggling, but also is more

919
00:49:08,260 --> 00:49:09,730
focused on what are the solutions?

920
00:49:09,730 --> 00:49:11,060
How do we work towards problems?

921
00:49:11,060 --> 00:49:15,220
And, and the AI is, uh, an AI
version of a legendary guy, like.

922
00:49:15,580 --> 00:49:20,180
Bruce Lee, uh, Bob Marley, Muhammad
Ali, the dude, Big Lebowski,

923
00:49:20,180 --> 00:49:23,520
uh, And they could talk to you
about whatever's stressing you.

924
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:27,640
And we have one, uh, conversation
you could do in particular where it's

925
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:28,890
like, Hey, I'm just feeling stressed.

926
00:49:28,970 --> 00:49:30,170
Help me take the edge off it.

927
00:49:30,290 --> 00:49:35,340
And guys report 32 percent decreases in
stress in just a 3 4 minute conversation.

928
00:49:35,980 --> 00:49:38,260
Um, which is pretty fucking amazing.

929
00:49:39,340 --> 00:49:41,320
And so, you could also go deeper.

930
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:44,535
And to us, It enables you to kind
of change your lifestyle, but if

931
00:49:44,545 --> 00:49:48,025
things pop up and you need to go
deeper, we also got you there.

932
00:49:48,055 --> 00:49:51,585
It's just kind of more of a full
solution to dealing with mental health.

933
00:49:52,725 --> 00:49:57,345
Guys, it's, it's very, you don't
feel awkward because it doesn't,

934
00:49:57,355 --> 00:50:01,665
it doesn't feel like someone's like
trying to get in touch with your

935
00:50:01,665 --> 00:50:07,255
feelings or it doesn't feel like our
preconceived notions of mental health.

936
00:50:08,255 --> 00:50:08,835
Right.

937
00:50:09,045 --> 00:50:13,095
Uh, from Hollywood, from our exposure
on TV and stuff like that, we, we

938
00:50:13,095 --> 00:50:17,205
all have that talk therapy, couch
therapist, picture in our head.

939
00:50:17,685 --> 00:50:19,055
You start talking about therapy.

940
00:50:19,055 --> 00:50:20,275
That's what you see in your head.

941
00:50:20,575 --> 00:50:24,495
Like I, I challenge you, I, I
swear, just, I challenge you.

942
00:50:27,085 --> 00:50:30,455
If I say therapy, what picture
jumps into your head right now?

943
00:50:31,235 --> 00:50:31,805
Guarantee.

944
00:50:31,805 --> 00:50:32,255
It's that.

945
00:50:32,755 --> 00:50:33,465
Sopranos.

946
00:50:33,885 --> 00:50:34,415
Yeah.

947
00:50:35,155 --> 00:50:35,675
It's a prank.

948
00:50:36,265 --> 00:50:36,645
What?

949
00:50:37,270 --> 00:50:42,210
We have been, what's the right word?

950
00:50:42,530 --> 00:50:46,150
Conditioned to think of by Hollywood.

951
00:50:47,230 --> 00:50:49,140
Whether it's televisions or
movies, that's what we've been

952
00:50:49,140 --> 00:50:51,020
conditioned to conceive of.

953
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:52,710
This is therapy, right?

954
00:50:52,830 --> 00:50:54,100
It doesn't feel like that.

955
00:50:54,460 --> 00:50:57,930
Like, I look forward to
listening to the Daily Deuce.

956
00:50:58,350 --> 00:50:59,750
It's freaking hilarious.

957
00:51:00,230 --> 00:51:02,060
Uh, there are times it's touching.

958
00:51:02,590 --> 00:51:07,290
Uh, background Christmas, you guys
had one where it talked about, you

959
00:51:07,290 --> 00:51:11,730
know, the truce going on between
two sets of freezing soldiers.

960
00:51:12,385 --> 00:51:16,685
And like, I, I teared up a little
bit, like it was just a beautiful

961
00:51:16,925 --> 00:51:24,435
story, but it also, then you turn it
around and implied it to me, you don't

962
00:51:24,485 --> 00:51:28,535
feel like you're doing therapy, but
like I said, I do actually feel the

963
00:51:28,535 --> 00:51:29,985
difference on the days I don't use it.

964
00:51:30,735 --> 00:51:32,105
I notice I'm not doing it.

965
00:51:33,025 --> 00:51:37,525
And the way you guys have set up
the protocols, like, so I know

966
00:51:37,525 --> 00:51:41,535
the science behind cold water
exposure for like athletic recovery.

967
00:51:41,535 --> 00:51:42,715
I am a personal trainer.

968
00:51:43,095 --> 00:51:45,025
Uh, I grew up as an athlete.

969
00:51:45,465 --> 00:51:48,175
And so like, I mean, even when I
was younger, I remember seeing the

970
00:51:48,195 --> 00:51:52,065
ice tubs at like college campuses
and stuff like that, high schools.

971
00:51:52,775 --> 00:51:56,945
Uh, for the athletes and I thought,
I don't ever want to do that.

972
00:51:57,135 --> 00:51:57,465
Right.

973
00:51:58,175 --> 00:51:59,315
I do know the research.

974
00:51:59,345 --> 00:52:02,875
I'm, I love like strong man training
and stuff like that and power lifting.

975
00:52:03,455 --> 00:52:06,715
And I know all those guys at the top
level all have ice baths in their home.

976
00:52:07,715 --> 00:52:11,975
They use hot tubs because
they're really big dudes.

977
00:52:14,485 --> 00:52:17,865
But I, I had some questions
in my head, right?

978
00:52:17,945 --> 00:52:20,055
I've always gone back and forth
because for a long time, there was

979
00:52:20,065 --> 00:52:22,685
debates on whether cold showers.

980
00:52:23,160 --> 00:52:27,020
Had the same impact as
a submersion, right?

981
00:52:28,060 --> 00:52:32,120
But the fact that you guys reached out
to one of the middle toughness trainers

982
00:52:32,190 --> 00:52:36,900
for the seals, I thought if anybody can
teach me to handle the cold water, to

983
00:52:36,910 --> 00:52:43,240
even try cold showers, like they got
this, this incredible guy who, well,

984
00:52:43,250 --> 00:52:46,110
let's face it, all of us envision when
we were like tough dudes, we all pitched

985
00:52:46,110 --> 00:52:48,170
to the seals, the green berets, right?

986
00:52:48,170 --> 00:52:50,020
We're all thinking about
the special forces guys.

987
00:52:50,905 --> 00:52:53,455
And so I thought, okay, he's
going to teach me something

988
00:52:54,325 --> 00:52:55,675
about this that I don't know.

989
00:52:56,585 --> 00:52:59,005
And if anyone's going to walk me
through it, it's going to be this guy.

990
00:52:59,565 --> 00:52:59,925
Yep.

991
00:53:00,885 --> 00:53:05,655
So it's a very different, like, you don't
feel like you're in a therapist's office.

992
00:53:05,655 --> 00:53:09,775
You don't feel like someone's trying
to shrink your brain or make you feel

993
00:53:09,775 --> 00:53:16,405
a certain way, but you feel compelled
to grow and to work on yourself

994
00:53:16,605 --> 00:53:18,075
and to actually think a little bit.

995
00:53:18,645 --> 00:53:19,295
Mm hmm.

996
00:53:19,755 --> 00:53:21,575
It's a totally different approach.

997
00:53:21,575 --> 00:53:21,725
Yeah.

998
00:53:21,725 --> 00:53:21,874
Yeah.

999
00:53:24,655 --> 00:53:25,065
Yeah.

1000
00:53:25,205 --> 00:53:32,120
I think, um, That the daily do so we
we also followed up with that what

1001
00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:37,135
we call the daily do which is reflect
for a moment on what you just heard

1002
00:53:37,135 --> 00:53:42,865
and then our AI coach helps turn that
into a way for you to act that day.

1003
00:53:43,055 --> 00:53:46,335
What's a small thing you could do a
little bit to step in this direction?

1004
00:53:46,345 --> 00:53:47,995
And it's a big thing.

1005
00:53:47,995 --> 00:53:52,345
Like we listen to podcasts or, uh,
read book or something like that.

1006
00:53:52,345 --> 00:53:53,875
And we're like, Oh, that's
interesting insight.

1007
00:53:54,625 --> 00:53:58,585
But it's also, how does Insight
really apply to my life?

1008
00:53:58,705 --> 00:54:00,495
And that takes a little bit of work.

1009
00:54:00,905 --> 00:54:05,075
And then the work to also go, Oh, well,
if that's relevant to me that way, what

1010
00:54:05,105 --> 00:54:06,845
actually should I be doing differently?

1011
00:54:07,035 --> 00:54:08,125
And it's like, Oh, okay.

1012
00:54:08,195 --> 00:54:09,805
I'm going to do this differently today.

1013
00:54:10,515 --> 00:54:13,675
And if that's what your life starts
being, where you start learning

1014
00:54:13,715 --> 00:54:17,785
things and weaken your life and a
little bit differently every day,

1015
00:54:18,355 --> 00:54:20,975
it adds up in a major way towards.

1016
00:54:21,335 --> 00:54:24,235
Are you living a life where you feel like
you're on autopilot or are you living

1017
00:54:24,235 --> 00:54:27,915
a life where you think it's a life of
purpose where you know what you're doing?

1018
00:54:28,445 --> 00:54:33,105
Where you have stress and control,
um, and that is a big goal of it.

1019
00:54:33,105 --> 00:54:37,365
It's just little shifts and have fun
doing it, but it has a huge impact

1020
00:54:37,365 --> 00:54:38,935
on how you feel day in, day out.

1021
00:54:39,375 --> 00:54:41,945
I love the fact that you made it
where you can pick your AI coach.

1022
00:54:43,035 --> 00:54:44,525
That was such a cool move.

1023
00:54:44,605 --> 00:54:46,325
Just guys, you get it.

1024
00:54:46,335 --> 00:54:49,685
You don't, you're not stuck with
the big Alaski or Bruce Lee.

1025
00:54:50,100 --> 00:54:56,450
They have catalog of guys that
all of us know their names.

1026
00:54:56,590 --> 00:54:57,810
All of us respect them.

1027
00:54:58,050 --> 00:55:01,710
I promise you're going to find
somebody from the Stoics all

1028
00:55:01,710 --> 00:55:03,010
the way up to Andrew Huberman.

1029
00:55:03,420 --> 00:55:06,270
Uh, you're going to find somebody
in there that you're like,

1030
00:55:06,270 --> 00:55:07,420
dude, I listened to that guy.

1031
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:10,350
Like I, I, I listened to him.

1032
00:55:10,350 --> 00:55:11,510
I connect with what he says.

1033
00:55:11,510 --> 00:55:13,550
I value his opinion and advice.

1034
00:55:15,135 --> 00:55:18,105
Uh, that was such a cool feature
when I was setting up my profile.

1035
00:55:18,655 --> 00:55:18,875
Yeah.

1036
00:55:18,875 --> 00:55:21,945
How did you, I mean, how do you, I don't
even know, I don't understand how that

1037
00:55:21,945 --> 00:55:23,955
works in the background, but it's cool.

1038
00:55:24,775 --> 00:55:26,135
Yeah, no, it's exciting.

1039
00:55:26,135 --> 00:55:26,455
Yeah.

1040
00:55:26,585 --> 00:55:27,815
Uh, we didn't start with that idea.

1041
00:55:27,815 --> 00:55:31,645
We were just like, uh, when you
arrive in the app or like, which,

1042
00:55:31,675 --> 00:55:34,815
which guys do you look up to, uh, and
why do you look up to them just to

1043
00:55:34,815 --> 00:55:36,785
understand why people are coming in?

1044
00:55:36,785 --> 00:55:41,165
And, uh, for them to also understand
what we stand for as well.

1045
00:55:41,165 --> 00:55:42,875
And, and then we're like,
oh, well, if we're doing AI.

1046
00:55:43,650 --> 00:55:49,840
We could build out these models that they
be, uh, yeah, Bruce Lee or Muhammad Ali,

1047
00:55:49,890 --> 00:55:54,580
uh, talking to you and, or there's a, the
only one who's not a person is there's

1048
00:55:54,580 --> 00:55:57,670
a, just a Navy SEAL general archetype.

1049
00:55:57,710 --> 00:56:02,655
And then, uh, But yeah, I figure
that's maybe better than Goggins.

1050
00:56:06,425 --> 00:56:08,295
Oh, yeah, the Goggins.

1051
00:56:09,005 --> 00:56:11,155
That's a tangent.

1052
00:56:11,155 --> 00:56:17,905
Now, Anson, you are working to
change the face of mental health

1053
00:56:17,905 --> 00:56:19,645
for men and make it approachable.

1054
00:56:20,175 --> 00:56:25,435
Make it something that we actually
want to process and work through.

1055
00:56:26,070 --> 00:56:33,600
Uh, and have that conversation with
this company, but how do we start

1056
00:56:33,690 --> 00:56:34,980
this conversation at home for us?

1057
00:56:34,980 --> 00:56:37,140
Cause that's the first place we're
going to have the conversation, right?

1058
00:56:37,780 --> 00:56:42,250
So if our guys listening, because one
of the things that you and I totally

1059
00:56:42,250 --> 00:56:46,630
see an eye on, on that is I like the
daily do because I like action steps.

1060
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:48,180
I like takeaways.

1061
00:56:48,710 --> 00:56:51,310
So we've got men listening
to the show right now.

1062
00:56:51,580 --> 00:56:54,630
Now, obviously guys, I'm going
to say, even if Anson doesn't

1063
00:56:54,630 --> 00:56:58,370
say it, go download the app,
seriously, just do yourself a favor.

1064
00:56:58,675 --> 00:57:02,245
Like I said, full review coming out
later, but just, just go down on the app.

1065
00:57:02,255 --> 00:57:02,725
Okay.

1066
00:57:03,235 --> 00:57:04,735
You know, I don't promote apps.

1067
00:57:04,755 --> 00:57:08,455
This is the third app I've ever
covered on the show in season five.

1068
00:57:08,465 --> 00:57:10,625
This is the third app I've
ever actually covered.

1069
00:57:10,855 --> 00:57:13,055
One of them was also
another mental health app.

1070
00:57:13,565 --> 00:57:20,015
Uh, different build out interesting, but I
got to say this one, I've, I've used both.

1071
00:57:20,035 --> 00:57:21,445
I love your app.

1072
00:57:21,895 --> 00:57:22,815
I am a fan.

1073
00:57:23,405 --> 00:57:28,925
Uh, but I can tell you guys that,
but right now, maybe you're listening

1074
00:57:28,925 --> 00:57:30,885
to this conversation, right?

1075
00:57:31,205 --> 00:57:35,475
What are the first three steps
our listeners can take to start

1076
00:57:36,695 --> 00:57:42,275
adjusting their own self talk, their
own headspace to start looking at

1077
00:57:42,275 --> 00:57:43,695
dealing with their mental health?

1078
00:57:46,005 --> 00:57:46,435
Yeah.

1079
00:57:47,490 --> 00:57:51,460
Yeah, no, I mean it's so great
to have this conversation.

1080
00:57:51,650 --> 00:57:59,310
Um, you know, yeah Yeah, look at just
the rates of how much like it's eight out

1081
00:57:59,310 --> 00:58:04,400
of ten guys are reporting that they're
super stressed And stressed frequently the

1082
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:09,750
loneliness rates that we hear amongst men
are super high amount of money you feel

1083
00:58:09,750 --> 00:58:13,825
like they're on autopilot and not living
a life of purpose is It's wildly high.

1084
00:58:13,825 --> 00:58:14,695
It's gotten higher.

1085
00:58:14,795 --> 00:58:19,845
I mean, there's, it's, I think we used to
think, oh, this is kind of mental health

1086
00:58:19,845 --> 00:58:24,755
is like, oh, it's something like where
you're on medication and this is a few

1087
00:58:24,755 --> 00:58:28,235
people over here who are depressed and
have an issue and I'm not one of those

1088
00:58:28,245 --> 00:58:31,975
guys, but the reality is when you look
at the numbers, almost all of us are

1089
00:58:32,655 --> 00:58:34,544
dealing with issues around mental health.

1090
00:58:34,545 --> 00:58:35,695
It's a normal thing now.

1091
00:58:35,765 --> 00:58:37,045
It's not the odd thing.

1092
00:58:37,095 --> 00:58:38,165
It's the standard.

1093
00:58:38,235 --> 00:58:39,935
Um, and so, yeah.

1094
00:58:40,820 --> 00:58:45,940
We just live in a different society, you
know, a hundred years ago when, I don't

1095
00:58:45,940 --> 00:58:52,110
know, we lived in the high plains maybe,
was fine to just be the meanest son of

1096
00:58:52,110 --> 00:58:57,040
a bitch out there with the quickest draw
on the six shooter, but now we live in

1097
00:58:57,220 --> 00:59:01,660
an era where we have really different
pressures on us with social media, etc.

1098
00:59:01,720 --> 00:59:06,400
We need to be thinking about how to handle
those life pressures in a different way.

1099
00:59:07,070 --> 00:59:09,930
And the reality is, is
we have to combat them.

1100
00:59:10,070 --> 00:59:15,440
We need to actively work on countering
the ways that modern society is

1101
00:59:15,470 --> 00:59:18,250
pushing us to behave and act and feel.

1102
00:59:18,360 --> 00:59:23,030
Um, and so this requires a certain
amount of intentionality and training.

1103
00:59:23,260 --> 00:59:28,100
So, I think when it's just thinking
about mental health, it's, we're all

1104
00:59:28,100 --> 00:59:30,500
dealing with issues of modern society.

1105
00:59:30,500 --> 00:59:31,330
It is the norm.

1106
00:59:31,660 --> 00:59:35,940
I think that's the big thing people need
to Be clear about in their head, and

1107
00:59:35,940 --> 00:59:40,220
that the way to handle it, it doesn't
have to just be talk therapy or nothing.

1108
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:44,370
There is a tremendous number of
ways you could tweak your lifestyle,

1109
00:59:44,430 --> 00:59:48,430
uh, that will make you feel
fulfilled, happy, less stressed.

1110
00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:49,390
Life?

1111
00:59:50,660 --> 00:59:51,180
Short.

1112
00:59:51,500 --> 00:59:52,440
It's really short.

1113
00:59:52,550 --> 00:59:56,140
It's like, we all think we're going
to live to 85, um, be that old guy

1114
00:59:56,140 --> 00:59:57,570
who dies with family around him.

1115
00:59:57,660 --> 01:00:00,535
But We could die in an accident tomorrow.

1116
01:00:00,735 --> 01:00:02,835
You know, we could get
cancer in a couple years.

1117
01:00:03,345 --> 01:00:06,175
We don't realize how fleeting
it is until it's gone.

1118
01:00:06,235 --> 01:00:09,945
And so you need, it's like our one
opportunity to be able to appreciate, you

1119
01:00:09,945 --> 01:00:13,815
know, dancing with your wife or seeing
the sunset or all your kids growing

1120
01:00:13,815 --> 01:00:15,645
up or all the magical things we have.

1121
01:00:16,380 --> 01:00:19,960
But working on your mental
health and putting a little work

1122
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:24,060
there is what will enable you
to really appreciate that stuff.

1123
01:00:24,100 --> 01:00:27,450
Appreciate the magic of being live
for just such a short amount of time.

1124
01:00:28,030 --> 01:00:29,530
Try to hide all that stuff.

1125
01:00:30,690 --> 01:00:34,580
It's like we're just gonna let this
life go by without really any kind of

1126
01:00:34,580 --> 01:00:39,530
meaning to it, without being the sort
of man that you ultimately want to be.

1127
01:00:39,650 --> 01:00:43,620
And so I think without working on
your mental health, it ultimately

1128
01:00:43,620 --> 01:00:48,360
is a way to live a life with a lot
of regrets versus a life Uh, that is

1129
01:00:48,790 --> 01:00:50,690
full of, like, happiness and purpose.

1130
01:00:52,670 --> 01:00:56,680
So what I'm hearing you say is,
A, we have to first start to

1131
01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:57,860
normalize that in our brain.

1132
01:00:57,970 --> 01:01:02,710
It's not weird, it's not abnormal, it's
not something that doesn't make you

1133
01:01:02,710 --> 01:01:05,090
weird, or strange, or horrible, or broken.

1134
01:01:05,860 --> 01:01:06,170
Right?

1135
01:01:06,190 --> 01:01:08,220
So we have to normalize the
conversation in our head.

1136
01:01:08,590 --> 01:01:10,410
Makes you a modern human.

1137
01:01:11,240 --> 01:01:18,080
Then we have to look for a path,
a solution, that we want to

1138
01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:20,120
try, that we're willing to try.

1139
01:01:20,680 --> 01:01:20,940
Yeah.

1140
01:01:21,060 --> 01:01:21,440
Right?

1141
01:01:22,890 --> 01:01:24,620
And then not wait, right?

1142
01:01:24,620 --> 01:01:29,130
That's, that's the third thing is
do something don't, don't wait.

1143
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:32,740
So understand it's, it's normal.

1144
01:01:32,850 --> 01:01:33,510
It's okay.

1145
01:01:33,550 --> 01:01:34,780
It doesn't make you broken.

1146
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:40,170
Pick a solution to try, pick something,
pick a direction, whether it's talk

1147
01:01:40,170 --> 01:01:44,600
therapy, or if you don't think you
need talk therapy, maybe it's just

1148
01:01:44,610 --> 01:01:49,310
having like a group of friends that you
guys sit down and actually have real

1149
01:01:49,310 --> 01:01:52,300
conversations and then make it immediate.

1150
01:01:53,370 --> 01:01:53,690
Right.

1151
01:01:53,860 --> 01:01:55,700
That's what I'm hearing is don't wait.

1152
01:01:56,900 --> 01:02:02,350
Uh, if you're, if you're even starting
to question that you might have some

1153
01:02:02,590 --> 01:02:06,380
mental health concerns, whether it's
anxiety or depression, you guys, when

1154
01:02:06,380 --> 01:02:09,060
we say mental health, everybody's
like thinking about schizophrenia.

1155
01:02:09,430 --> 01:02:09,960
We're not.

1156
01:02:10,660 --> 01:02:10,910
Okay.

1157
01:02:10,930 --> 01:02:12,280
We're talking about depression.

1158
01:02:12,280 --> 01:02:13,590
We're talking about anxiety.

1159
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:17,430
We're talking about being
withdrawn from people, right?

1160
01:02:18,740 --> 01:02:23,740
Or just, just feeling stressed day
in, day out, overwhelmed at work.

1161
01:02:24,060 --> 01:02:28,600
You're worrying about your finances,
uh, you're fighting with your partner,

1162
01:02:28,640 --> 01:02:31,590
uh, like that's, that's mental health.

1163
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:34,890
I'm feeling like you're on autopilot.

1164
01:02:35,560 --> 01:02:36,440
That's mental health.

1165
01:02:36,550 --> 01:02:39,490
It doesn't have to, you
know, capital D depression.

1166
01:02:39,650 --> 01:02:43,470
Um, it's just, I'm stressed and
not feeling that great every day

1167
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:47,510
or, or I know I could be feeling
better and more on top of my game.

1168
01:02:47,740 --> 01:02:48,520
That's mental health.

1169
01:02:50,350 --> 01:02:52,600
So what's next for Anson Whitmore?

1170
01:02:52,610 --> 01:02:55,150
Are we, are you going to continue
to expand the app or are we

1171
01:02:55,150 --> 01:02:56,960
adding more things to it or?

1172
01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:56,970
Absolutely.

1173
01:02:56,970 --> 01:02:56,979
Absolutely.

1174
01:02:57,530 --> 01:02:59,530
Yeah, there's some vanilla
up over your sleeves, too.

1175
01:03:00,145 --> 01:03:00,625
Oh, yeah.

1176
01:03:00,665 --> 01:03:04,935
Uh, it's like we have our
next protocol in the works.

1177
01:03:05,025 --> 01:03:12,805
Um, we are just, um, just sorting out the
coach won't be Navy SEAL, but it, it might

1178
01:03:12,845 --> 01:03:19,875
be, uh, a very famous boxer, um, which
I'd be pretty excited if it goes that way.

1179
01:03:19,955 --> 01:03:24,035
Um, but again, it is,
it won't be cold water.

1180
01:03:24,105 --> 01:03:25,675
It'll be something physical.

1181
01:03:25,785 --> 01:03:28,715
And again, it's kind of that
combination of doing some physical.

1182
01:03:28,905 --> 01:03:31,085
A lot of guys like to deal
with their mental health.

1183
01:03:31,495 --> 01:03:36,805
By exerting themselves physically, but
that combination of what's your mindset

1184
01:03:36,845 --> 01:03:38,225
while you're doing some physical?

1185
01:03:38,235 --> 01:03:40,465
How does that mindset show
up in the rest of your day?

1186
01:03:40,855 --> 01:03:44,255
How's that mindset help you do that
physical thing even better than you

1187
01:03:44,265 --> 01:03:51,425
otherwise would so Entertainment and
fun plus like shifts in mind We have

1188
01:03:51,685 --> 01:03:53,525
yeah, there's there's a bunch coming up.

1189
01:03:53,565 --> 01:03:59,025
The next six months is all about building
different stuff out and Really excited

1190
01:03:59,065 --> 01:04:03,435
to for you to see where it's gonna
be come like June July That's cool.

1191
01:04:03,715 --> 01:04:05,255
I'm looking forward to that for sure.

1192
01:04:05,885 --> 01:04:08,325
Where is the best place for
people to connect with you?

1193
01:04:09,605 --> 01:04:12,925
Um, yeah, I, you could
find me on LinkedIn.

1194
01:04:13,425 --> 01:04:14,825
Uh, my full name.

1195
01:04:14,865 --> 01:04:15,925
Uh, that's a great spot.

1196
01:04:17,090 --> 01:04:20,810
We're at Get Mental, uh,
dot com is where we're at.

1197
01:04:20,810 --> 01:04:25,620
We like to tell everyone it's time to
get mental and you can actually get

1198
01:04:25,620 --> 01:04:27,900
ahold of me at anson@getmental.com.

1199
01:04:30,380 --> 01:04:33,650
Now, I know that everybody's
really concerned about this, that

1200
01:04:33,655 --> 01:04:36,410
the oldest drink in the United
States is not actually Coca-Cola.

1201
01:04:36,560 --> 01:04:36,710
Dang.

1202
01:04:36,710 --> 01:04:39,920
It is the ginger Pepper.

1203
01:04:40,585 --> 01:04:41,075
Oh, it's Dr.

1204
01:04:41,075 --> 01:04:41,585
Pepper.

1205
01:04:41,815 --> 01:04:42,065
Dr.

1206
01:04:42,065 --> 01:04:45,205
Pepper is the oldest soft drink
in the, in the United States.

1207
01:04:45,295 --> 01:04:46,755
Uh, they also own 7 Up.

1208
01:04:47,875 --> 01:04:48,315
Yeah.

1209
01:04:48,695 --> 01:04:51,045
It's, uh, it's still
independent, actually.

1210
01:04:51,435 --> 01:04:51,875
Uh, Dr.

1211
01:04:51,975 --> 01:04:54,575
Pepper is his own company down in Texas.

1212
01:04:55,655 --> 01:04:56,765
What, do you know what year?

1213
01:04:57,725 --> 01:04:58,865
I don't know what year.

1214
01:04:59,305 --> 01:04:59,595
Yeah.

1215
01:05:00,085 --> 01:05:00,545
I must say.

1216
01:05:00,835 --> 01:05:02,645
I look at these questions,
but I didn't have the dates.

1217
01:05:02,645 --> 01:05:04,555
I, I trusted one lying
to me when I was there.

1218
01:05:05,755 --> 01:05:06,515
I'm just amazed.

1219
01:05:06,515 --> 01:05:07,615
I, I love Dr.

1220
01:05:07,615 --> 01:05:08,315
Pepper growing up.

1221
01:05:08,945 --> 01:05:12,035
Anson, we, we've talked about some
really important things today.

1222
01:05:12,970 --> 01:05:16,400
But the, this is the moment,
okay, I want you to take us out.

1223
01:05:16,860 --> 01:05:20,940
If our listeners heard nothing
else that we talked about in

1224
01:05:20,940 --> 01:05:23,900
this entire conversation, what
do you want them to hear today?

1225
01:05:27,670 --> 01:05:29,910
First thoughts is it's time to get mental.

1226
01:05:32,200 --> 01:05:34,320
Uh, it really is.

1227
01:05:34,340 --> 01:05:37,000
It's, we got to stop delaying this stuff.

1228
01:05:38,200 --> 01:05:39,480
It is so valuable.

1229
01:05:39,500 --> 01:05:41,580
You will see a difference.

1230
01:05:41,640 --> 01:05:44,260
Uh, there's a lot of
different pools out there.

1231
01:05:45,010 --> 01:05:47,390
Find the tool that works
for you and start using it.

1232
01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:51,170
Guys for Ansel Whitmore and for myself.

1233
01:05:51,550 --> 01:05:55,000
Thanks for hanging out with us today
Be better tomorrow because what you

1234
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:56,320
do today, we'll see on the next one.

1235
01:05:57,850 --> 01:06:02,100
This has been the Fallible Man
podcast Your home for everything

1236
01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:04,200
man, husband and father.

1237
01:06:05,110 --> 01:06:09,010
Be sure to subscribe so you don't
miss a show head over to www.

1238
01:06:11,710 --> 01:06:11,930
thefallibleman.

1239
01:06:11,930 --> 01:06:16,390
com For more content and get your
own Fallible Man gear I'm not

1240
01:06:16,390 --> 01:06:20,085
takin I ain't waitin I'm not takin

Anson Whitmer Profile Photo

Anson Whitmer

Neuroscientist, CEO and Co-Founder of The Mental App

I have a PhD in neuroscience with a focus on mental health (depression, anxiety, etc; ex-Stanford). I was a founding team member of the first mental health app to become a unicorn - Calm. At Calm, we realized we were not getting through to guys - that nobody is. This is a problem. Men are 80% of suicides. And this matters to me. My whole career has been motivated by the loss of two close male relatives to suicide. So I created Mental - the first mental health app built for men. I'm CEO and co-founder along with Calm's founding engineer.