Embracing the Struggle The Art of Long Term Goal Achievement

Embracing the Struggle The Art of Long Term Goal Achievement

D Brent Dowlen: [00:00:00] Less than 6%. That is the likelihood of you reaching a goal. It's actually less than that because you have to be part of the 20 percent first to even have a 6 percent chance, but that's a whole nother discussion. Most people have no idea what it is to actually commit to long term growth and long term goals.

I'm really commit to growth and success. Unrealistic planning, unrealistic goals, lack of planning, motivation, But would you be interested in increasing that chance in today's conversation? We're going to talk to common man, OCR, AKA David McCarter, and look at real, a real life case study of what it looks like to spend a decade on a journey and share with you the good, the bad, and the actual useful pursuit of your goals.

Dave, welcome back to the fat woman podcast.

David McCarter: Hey, thanks for having me.

D Brent Dowlen: I got a strong question to start with Dave, in your opinion, in your experience, what is the biggest [00:01:00] roadblock in pursuing long term goals?

David McCarter: I would say the biggest roadblock would be getting started because. We tend to overthink it we tend to look at the big picture We tend to look at the like the enormity of the problem instead of breaking it down to smaller attainable goals um You may say I want to lose 100 pounds or I want to lose 50 pounds.

Well that starts by Changing your diet. What's that look like that starts by? Adding fiber to your diet and creating to your diet, etc, etc. Stop eating at mcdonald's um But we suck on the, I want to lose 50 pounds.

D Brent Dowlen: Absolutely. Guys, we're going to dig deep into this issue today. Let's get going. Here's the million dollar question.

How do men like us reach our full potential growing to the men we dream of becoming while taking care of our responsibilities, working, [00:02:00] living, being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves? Well, that's podcast, we'll help you with those answers and more. My name is Brent and welcome to the family man podcast.

Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast where we dive into everything about being a better man, husband and father. A big shout out to Fallible Nation. That's our longtime loyal listeners and a warm welcome to those joining us for the first time. We appreciate you choosing to spend some time with us and with all the options out there.

Thanks for checking out the show. Let me know what you think. You can catch me at the fallible man, almost any platform. My name is Brent today. My special guest is David McCarter, AKA common man OCR, who was just recently back from the Spartan world championships. David, welcome back to the show. Now, gents, before we dive into the meat of today's show, if you want to get to know Dave better, be sure and check out our new playlist, meet our guests over on YouTube, and don't forget to grab your companion download, no cost, no email required on our website.

It's [00:03:00] www. thefallibleman. com slash podcast. Extras is loaded with actionable ideas from today's show. Because I know you can't necessarily take notes while you're doing this. So if there's something that really resonates with you, there's a link in the description to download this free download that you can use to take what's been talked about today and just go from there so you know exactly where to start.

Now, Dave, I still like to start pretty easy. But I tailored the question for you because I know you hate trivia. I don't hate

David McCarter: trivia. I hate sitting in front of the

D Brent Dowlen: trivia. I tailored it just for you. Usually I tailor it against my guests, so this is in your favor.

David McCarter: Oh, thanks. Appreciate it.

D Brent Dowlen: Which group in Spartan society was responsible for agricultural leadership and supported the Spartan warrior class?

Was it the parochial, parochial, I can't say it. The Helots, the E4s, or the Krypteia?

David McCarter: The Krypteia and the Secret Police. I'll say it's the Helots. [00:04:00] I don't know if time ahead, but

D Brent Dowlen: all right guys, you know, the, the drill, don't cheat. Don't look it up. I had to look that one up. We'll come back to that later.

Cause I know no one actually gives a crap. Dave, in your own words today in this moment, who is David McArthur?

David McCarter: I'm just a guy who is trying to better himself, um, through the sport of obstacle course racing, uh, trying to better himself both spiritually, uh, through my work in the church and emotionally. Um, and if I can be 1 percent better every day or every week, that's good.

If I can drag a few people along with me, it's great. That's kind of who I am.

D Brent Dowlen: Living for audience. What do you do for a living?

David McCarter: I am an engineer at a reputable online services company. All right.

D Brent Dowlen: What is something that everyone should know about you before we dig into the show today? [00:05:00]

David McCarter: Don't ever tell me I can't I

D Brent Dowlen: like it guys.

We've been getting to know David just a little bit. And the next part of the show, we're going to dive into pursuing your goals in real life, mainly because yeah, anywhere else is kind of a waste of time. We're going to roll to our sponsors and we'll be right back with more from David McCarter.

Mike Lindell: I'm excited to announce our Christmas extravaganza is finally here.

Get this season's final sheets for as low as 59. 98. They won't last long. So get them while you can. Our famous MySlippers, they haven't been on sale for over a year. Regularly 119. 98, now only 59. 98. Our six piece towel sets are back in stock with extremely limited quantities. Only 29. 98! With hundreds of MyPillow products, there's something for everyone on your Christmas list.

Bathrobes, duvets, quilts, down comforters, and so much more! So go to MyPillow. com or call the number on your screen. [00:06:00] Use your promo code to save on all MyPillow products. For example, flannel sheets for as low as 10. 59. 98 for our six piece towel sets, just 29. 98, but that's not all. I'm extending our 60 day money back guarantee until March 1st of 2025.

Plus all orders over 75 or more ship absolutely

D Brent Dowlen: free. Guys, welcome back. I sleep on my pillow. I sleep on my pillow, giz sheets and with my pillow, body pillow, which I love. I have my pillow towels. My wife wears my pillow slippers. I would never recommend a company. I don't use or trust myself. We are proud to have Mike Lindell.

My pillow is sponsors of the show. You can go to my pillow. com and use the code T F M super complicated, right? The fallible man. I know I'm super original. Code TFM for up to 80 percent off your order and it's free shipping over 75 for our listeners. Thanks Mike, my pillow, Mike Lindell for that. Let's get on with the show.

In the first part of the show, we spent some time getting to know Dave. And in this part of the [00:07:00] show, we're going to talk about pursuing your goals in real life. Now, full disclosure, Dave is my best friend. He's a regular contributor to the Palpable Man. I tell you this because I've been around for this journey that he's been on for the last decade or so.

So if I ask really specific questions, it's because he's been a valuable part of my life since before this journey started for him. And I just want to be a hundred percent transparent upfront. Now, Dave, I was having a conversation with Abby for all of you who don't know who that is. It's my 12 year old daughter.

Um, and I was explaining to her that there are certain things that she wanted to do that she didn't comprehend the commitment behind them yet. Uh, the time requirements, it's just outside of a 12 year old's scope of understanding. And it occurred to me that most people don't really understand the time commitments when they take on big goals because we live in an instant gratification society, really.

So it doesn't maybe [00:08:00] Abby's not the only one. And I think that contributes to some of the difficulty with people not completing goals. Now. Right off the bat. Let me ask you, uh, I, I keep saying 10 years now, you've been doing Spartans for, uh, the journey towards Spartans started in nine. But really you started going back to the gym and taking care of yourself better about 10 years ago, this has been a thing.

So out of curiosity, what do you know now about pursuing your long term goals that you didn't understand 10 years ago?

David McCarter: It is not overnight. It's it's not going to be overnight. It's not going to be, um, um, It's not going to be something that you're just going to have it done in the next five minutes. You have to stick with it, even when it looks like you're never going to get there.

I [00:09:00] know in my own journey, um, for example, with Spartan and Tough Mudder, you know, all the races we do and I've done together, um, you know, I still can't climb a rope yet. I still can't climb a wall by myself. Um, you know, I can now do some things that I wasn't able to do before, but it took eight years or so to get there and The more you stick with those goals with that, that North Star.

Um, I think one of Joe DeSantis books is like find your why or find your North Star or something like that. Um, the more you stick with it and keep pursuing that goal, the more you're going to reach, the more able you're going to be to reach that goal. But you have to have that persistence and know that it doesn't matter how you compare yourself to others because you're, we're always going to do that.

But you're on your journey, people are on their journey.

D Brent Dowlen: Hopefully his book is Finding Your North Star because Finding Your Y would be plagiarized on that Simon

David McCarter: [00:10:00] Sinek.

D Brent Dowlen: Yeah, that's a valid idea. It's very similar to Find Your Y. It's, you know, find, find what leads you home. Find what leads you to the destination you're built for.

So, it's not instant. That is a, I, I, we live in an instant gratification society and it just amazes me how many people quit. Projects a day, a week into them. Um, you and I have talked about the dropout rate on new year's resolutions for the gym, right? Use 43 percent of them in the first month. Uh, the, the gym it's as gym guys, we, it's always entertaining to watch.

It's like, Oh man, the gym's crowded for January. Less so in mid February by March is about it leveled out again. Now, Dave, when all this started, [00:11:00] I, and I can say this cause you're my friend, you frequently struggled with self image, self doubt. And I know sometimes that's still actually a lingering issue in the back of your head.

So how do you proceed forward? How do you process these doubts now versus then? And then how do you keep from, how did you keep from quitting over the last 10 years when those thoughts were pressing on you?

David McCarter: To be honest, um, um, I still struggle with that, especially after my dad passed away in 22. Um, and there are some times where I don't want to keep going I don't want to move.

I don't want to go to the gym. I don't want to eat that bowl of broccoli I don't want to do this anymore. And I think about kind of what's the what's the alternative? Um Yeah, you could die. You could die a very painful death. You could not accomplish your goals and be a failure [00:12:00] um, you could Become what all those negative thoughts are saying and That's where I look at it of okay.

I'm not gonna let that win I'm going to keep pressing forward. Even if I can't do that particular thing right now, I'm going to make that goal. And I'm going to keep pressing forward because I'm not going to let the negative to the negativity win. That's how I process it, but it's still a constant struggle.

It's still something lingers in the back of my mind. Um, can I give you an example if you don't mind?

D Brent Dowlen: Yeah, go for it.

David McCarter: Um, Thanks. When I was on the Spartan beast in Greece here recently, uh, I was running a team Oscar Mike, and I'm now part of that team, which Oscar Mike shout out to you guys. I love you. Uh, they're a veterans organization that helps disabled athletes, disabled veterans, et cetera, be active, get on, get out on the course.

So if you ever see team Oscar Mike on the course, give him a shout out, give him a hand with the athlete, et cetera. Um, we saw our athlete [00:13:00] Jolene get third in the world prepared athletes, which is totally cool to watch. Um, but we're on one of the mountains. We're talking little mountains outside of Sparta.

And you're just to the point where you're, you've already apexed the mountain. You're starting to come down back into the valleys to get back to, to festivals where you can, uh, where you cross the finish line. And I had a pretty significant fall. Uh, my team was already going. I said, just don't worry about me.

Get the athlete across the finish line. And they took off and um, I had a pretty significant fall. I fell right on my left hip and it hurt and it hurt a lot and I sat there crying probably 15 minutes just bawling my head off and I'm like, I, I miss my dad. I don't want to keep moving. I want to quit. I want to stop.

I want to stop and I'm too stupid. I'm too fat. I'm too ugly whatever to do this all those negative thoughts kept invading my brain and After having all these spartans run by me asking if i'm, okay, i'm like, okay, okay I'll [00:14:00] be all right It was no one's coming to get you Get up and get moving you have to finish You're not going to be you're better than this.

You're not going to let this win and I got up and I finished And I was only about 40 minutes or so behind my team. And I held my head very high when I crossed the finish line at that medal.

D Brent Dowlen: Let's talk a little bit more about that because I want to dig into persperience when things don't happen as fast as you want them to.

So, you know, with your OCR journey, I I've been privileged and I do say privileged with all sincerity to walk alongside you for part of that, to be with you at several races. When your OCR journey started back in 2016, you did your first race together. It. It was nasty. It was a [00:15:00] nasty horrible. It was on a mountain.

It was all either uphill or downhill. There was freezing rain. I mean, they were taking people off the blankets. It was so cold and wet and miserable. So how do you persist from. This is your first encounter with this OCR world, right? And it was not a fun, pleasant encounter. Uh, you, you did your very best and I loved every moment of you with you.

You were kind of demoralized when you left the course, and I was really worried about how you were gonna respond to it. Now, that was in 2016. We were in Canada. And that was horrible.

David McCarter: In 2024,

D Brent Dowlen: you fly to Greece and drive to Sparta for the Spartan world [00:16:00] championships. There's a lot of miles in between them.

I meant to ask you before the show started, because I know Spartan used to track your total miles. But that's a lot of miles in the last decade, um, or just, um, sorry, eight years. What's your question? How do you go from this horrible experience to the spar world championships? How do you persist all the way?

Despite the horrible start, despite, you know, in, in eight years, I mean, this is a night and day difference between. Dave's experience with OCRs day one and this, you know, you stopped at my house on the way back from the airport on the way back from Sparta and the joy and the passion and the just [00:17:00] alive experience as you recounted this event, uh, three races in two days and All your adventures.

Three days. How, how do we go from point a to point B? How do you persist through all the tough times?

David McCarter: Well, to answer your first question on, or your first comment there, um, I'm at just Spartan right here. I'm currently at 98 races. Um, 25 trifectas, uh, 1056 kilometers. And basically 17 days on course. So that's, that's over the last, actually more than that because there's, they're missing like three miles of that.

Um, myself was, I had, so I finished, like I finished Tough Mudder Whistler. Um, but I didn't do the last couple of [00:18:00] kilometers because I finished the American Tough Mudder. Which is 10 miles. You guys finished the Canadian Tough Mudder, which is like 12 miles. Um, so I went across and I'm like, guys, there's a mountain.

I'm done. See you finish line. And you know, we all left. I'll pat them.

D Brent Dowlen: Hey, to your credit, there were a lot of people leaving the course and Zeke and I both wanted to walk away because the idea of trying to hike up the side of the Olympic ski jump after 10 miles. Dude, it was heinous. Uh, people were falling off the side of the mountain, just in tears, screaming from the muscle cramps.

Zeke and I were walking backwards to try and keep our, uh,

David McCarter: I watched it.

D Brent Dowlen: From pulling, and the incline was so severe that, like, on my feet, I could touch the grass in front of me because of the angle. Oh, wow. Like it was every bit as hideous as it looked and I both wanted to quit before we ever started up that hill.

So you [00:19:00] got the first 10. That was a huge wall.

David McCarter: I remember it was dad. Cause I went from that point where I split up from you guys and I went across the finish line. Um, I'm like, I'm just, I'm not going to do that. And dad and I sat there by Olympus or what's not Olympus. Was it called? That curved, the curved wall thing that you had done.

Um, I remember you, you had a problem. The

D Brent Dowlen: Warp Wall, I got, I got injured on that one. Actually,

David McCarter: it was in that one or the one before, because he looked at me and like, no,

D Brent Dowlen: that's the one I got injured on. I stopped doing the Warp Wall after that race because the guys who were up at the top, catching people, helping injured me, trying to help me over that wall because of the way, so I,

David McCarter: I Miles.

I remember dad and I sat there and we stood there and watched you guys for a little bit. I'm like no buddy um, but as far as perseverance goes, um, let's fast [00:20:00] forward a little bit to Later on that year Uh, you and I went to, actually it was you, Bruce, David and I, got on the excursion. And we decided to do our first Spartan race.

Again, we kept talking about Spartan, I'm like, I'm just gonna go try the Spartan thing. And, um, it was a three mile, or was it five miles then? I think it was five, by the time. And, was it three? Okay. Um, and we got into Portland, Oregon. And stay the night go out and then we drive back up to a shingle washington, which is right next to me And we saw it as far as print and I thought you know, I got I got through it um barely And um, you know had a good time but let's fast forward.

I think it was was it? 2017 and we met casey mcallister. It was 2017. It was you and I so I So I guess I have these [00:21:00] two races under my belt in 2016, right? You And I'm thinking, okay, this is kind of cool. This could be something I need to try this one more time and see if I'm Able to do this Brett and I hop in the truck.

We drive down to portland again, and we pop over to westerville And i'm sick the morning of i'm ready to quit before we ever get out there And i'm telling brent i'm gonna throw up. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this And I remember you looked at me and go dude. We just drove like 200 miles.

Let's just go try We

D Brent Dowlen: were both sick that morning

David McCarter: and I was being a total wuss so um We get out there and i'm I mean it took me hours You To do a three mile event and I remember at one point I get to this this obstacle. I'm looking at Brent and I'm like, I can't do this. I gotta stop. I get this tap at the back of the leg.

I think it was a Hercules for us to remember it. I get this tap at the back of the legs. I'm like, come on brother, we got this. [00:22:00] And I look down or I look, excuse me, I turn around. There's nobody there. I look down. There's a three foot man with no legs. This guy named Casey McAllister. They call him and he's literally scooting along on his trunk.

And his knuckles because he didn't have his uh, good shirt at the time and i'm sitting there going I have nothing more to complain about like if this guy this guy who was at this I don't want to say disadvantage because I know we both know casey. He's complete stuff Um, but this guy's got the these issues.

I got nothing, you know, um And we all finished the race together, and it was absolutely glorious. It was, I remember you catching him off one of the obstacles and going, Holy cow, he's actually got a bunch of muscle! Um, but, that was kind of the thing that really lit the fire under me, was, this is an opportunity to not feel like the fat kid, [00:23:00] to not look at myself that way, and be good at a sport.

I wasn't allowed to play sports as a child. Um, and this gives me an opportunity to have something to train for. I don't know if I told you this, but my, I, I learned after my dad passed away that he actually told my uncle, um, that he was very even with you back in 2016 for getting me to go on this, and dad went with us, that was the funny part, he drove in the car with us, and he was very ticked off of you for getting me involved in this, but he, and he only did it out of place of caring, but he actually told my uncle he thought I was too fat and I was going to die, so that combined with being Casey, I was like, no, I need to pursue this more.

And then you hit 2017. There was a couple of races, 2018, couple of races. You hit 2019 and I think in 2020, I bought my first race pass, uh, season pass for, for, uh, [00:24:00] Spartan. And of course then, you know, COVID hit. Um, but now it's like, instead of just having, like, I'm going to lose X amount of weight, or I'm going to better my skill, having this goal of kind of wishy washy goal.

This gives me something to train for. So, you know, I can't get sad and depressed because I don't have races to train for. That's kind of how I persevere and I keep going with it. Is, um, this gives me an avenue by which to utilize my training. Not just, I'm gonna go to the gym for an hour and do cardio.

Well, la dee da, but did you do anything? Not really. How about you give me an answer?

D Brent Dowlen: You know, I don't know if there's a wrong answer when we're talking about your journey and what you guys are doing on that path, right? Uh, having, having a why is ultimately what I'm hearing. You, you have a reason to do this because you've [00:25:00] decided I'm going to, I'm going to do these events, which means whether I want to or not, I'm going to the gym.

And guys, I can attest to this. I know Dave's schedule. He is incredibly persistent in the gym, seven days a week, sometimes twice a day, right? I'm, I'm very familiar with this. Cause he's like bailed on me when we were doing things. Cause he had to go to the gym.

David McCarter: Yeah. Sorry. Do you go to the gym? Dude, we're doing it.

Gotta go to the gym.

D Brent Dowlen: And so having a, I need to do this.

That's what you need. You need to hold on to something. Uh, North Star, your Y, whatever author you want to reference, right? Having a, I have to do this for me. I have to [00:26:00] race. In Dave's terms. Well, to keep racing, that means I have to eat better. I have to physically take care of myself and go to the gym. I have to take care of myself mentally and emotionally to be able to handle this because those courses will punish you.

They will punish you physically, guys, but it is April. Explaining about his experience in Greece, they will punish you mentally and emotionally as well, because when it starts to break down the emotion and the mental stops first,

Dave, what does pursuing your best life look like in the real world? Because a lot of coaches talk about it. There's a lot of gurus online and guys, I don't want to be the guru. I want to be a guy who's actually talking reality. So in the [00:27:00] real world, because we all know in the idealized society, how it works, but in the real world, what does pursuing your best life look like?

David McCarter: This is going to sound funny coming from me, Branton, since you know me so, so well, um, You have to understand that you're worth it. That's like the first thing. Um, I've lived a life where i've been so busy taking care of everyone else which Taking care of folks and taking care of their needs is great being a servant is fantastic.

Do not get me wrong But um, if you look at the scripture for what it for what it says It says love the lord. Love the lord your god with all your heart soul mind and strength and the second is like it When the apostles asked, or when the disciples asked, what's the greatest commandment? Um, Jesus said, love your neighbor as yourself.

So, meaning, and I don't mean to quote scripture, I know there's some folks that listen to this and are, you know, that way, but, Um, the, uh, if you don't love [00:28:00] yourself, you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anybody else. So, realize that you're worth it. And then, start formulating a plan of action.

I mean, how many discussions have we had? Brent, I don't know where to go with this. I've got no results in the gym. Well, let me help you. Um, I'm, I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to accomplish this goal. And then once you have that plan of action, it needs to start, start. Even if you don't have a plan yet, just start moving, start doing something to better yourself and don't give up.

Too many of us, when the going gets hard, we get going. We just forget about it and we, we walk off the course or we quit or we, we sit and cry on the top of a mountain. In a foreign country that I've never been to. I mean, we've never been to, excuse me. Um, and we, we decided that this is, this is it. I'm done.

Um, you know, you've got one life to live and why not try to pursue the best you [00:29:00] can.

D Brent Dowlen: So it's messy. Yeah, I'll

David McCarter: bet. It's messy. Just a stitch. It can be really messy. It's not orderly. Sometimes it sucks. Sometimes you get so down. That can be real, right? I can, I mean, not overly, but sometimes you get so down, you're like, I don't want to get up.

I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to move. I don't want to see anybody. I don't want to talk to anybody. I just want to sit here and sleep or whatever. And it's like, no, I need to move. I need to get going because I've got some stuff to accomplish. I've got a races coming up. I've got, you know, these events that I'm doing that are challenges for me and to sit here and not do anything is not going to help me get there.

Um, my weight loss journey is not going to happen if I sit on my couch all day.

D Brent Dowlen: Dave, you aren't just on a [00:30:00] physical journey, right? I mean, you referenced Spartan a lot, uh, and a huge part of your life, and that's a huge part of your method because you've got to be, you've got to stay on top of your other things to continue to do that. And I know your father wanted you to continue to keep racing cause he knew it was good for you mentally, emotionally, physically.

You guys, I'm not saying that all of you need to do OCRs to

I know for David, that that's a huge mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, this is a huge, huge mover for him to be focused on these OCRs. But you've been working on mindset. You've been working on self care, prioritizing your dreams, like narrow way motor ventures. We haven't talked about that a whole lot yet, but you've racked up almost 14, 000 miles for charity.

You've done not counting your other OCRs. You're approaching [00:31:00] your growth in a very holistic approach. You're not just going to the gym. You're not just trying to eat better. You're doing things to nurture yourself, but they're all multi year commitments, right? With, with narrow way motorcycles, you spent two summers, three weeks each time, three and a half weeks, doing these long distance charity rides, walking up thousands of miles on your motorcycle, raising money, um, For something that was important to both you and your dad.

I asked you, do you, do you take time and celebrate the little wins or what is your secret to continuing forward in all these things?

David McCarter: You do need to celebrate the little wins because we don't celebrate the little victories. The big victories aren't going to mean much. So going to, um, the narrow way motor ventures, uh, stuff when I did the narrow way around, you know, I had never ridden that far by any means.

I've ridden a lot over the last God knows [00:32:00] how long I've owned a motor school. But, um, I've never ridden in one sustained journey for, you know, 6200 miles by the time I was done. Um, I've never been to some of those states, but for me, the small wind was okay. I'm, I'm now in Montana. Cool. All right. No, wait, sorry.

I want to go the other way. Um, I've now ridden from Washington State. I'm now in, uh, You know, Idaho. Okay, now I'm in Utah. Okay, I've never been to Utah before. Okay, well now I'm in, now I'm passing through Wyoming. Okay, that's a win. And there were times during the journey where it's again, I need to run it home.

This is getting too hard. I'm not going to make it on time. And you have the next win, and you celebrate that. And the next win, you celebrate that. And when I finally got to the Harley Davidson Museum in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, it was like, that was my mission was to get there, because that was dad and I's first ride that [00:33:00] we had planned.

Um, and so, That was a culmination of the dream and a lot of those little wins. Uh, and it meant everything in the world to me to walk around that museum, see all the motorcycles there for the 120th anniversary celebration. But it took going through and celebrating all those little wins to get to the big win.

And of course it was coming home, which was challenging because I broke down for two days. Um, but yeah, you gotta, you gotta celebrate the little ones. Otherwise you're never gonna have the motivation to get to or get someone to the rest of them.

D Brent Dowlen: Dave, I want to ask you about mindset, right? So, because I've been on part of this journey with you, I know I was with you, Uh, the day before we lost your dad and the night you lost your dad.

And I know that [00:34:00] was a major, major moment in your life. And I know your dad wanted you to keep racing. I remember when he started getting sick, that he, he grumbled at you at the idea of not going to your races because you needed to stay with him. Um, I know that the narrow waver, uh, motor venture series that you're working on started with a dream of your dad, right?

This was a dream, your father, not you shared together. This was something you intended to do together, and you persisted. Part of this has to do with a strong emotional connection, obviously, to your dad. And that's, that's fine, right? There's nothing wrong with that. Part of it is, you've had to equip yourself with a mindset because of the loss of your father.

Because of the passions that you've committed to following. Both in his memory and [00:35:00] individually. So let's talk about the mindset that it takes. To pursue long term goals. Cause this is not a, Oh, I went and did a Spartan this weekend. You've been doing these for eight years. You have raced a lot of miles.

You've driven a lot of miles in the two years. And I know we're already in the process of your third trip, right? You've already started fundraising for your third trip and you're heading towards the art circle. And that's exciting. And you guys, I'll, I'll have all those links down below. So you can find out what Dave's doing there because, uh, I get to.

I'm the guy he calls and goes, Hey, I ran into this problem. Find me this. I'm the guy in the chair. Yeah.

I'm the guy in the chair, right? It's from the Spider Man series. [00:36:00] And you know what? I love being able to help you that way, but there's a mindset involved with doing all these things. So let's talk about. The mindset required to take on long term goals and actually succeed at them.

David McCarter: So let's come, let's come back to, uh, Idaho 2020.

Where, where, where are we?

D Brent Dowlen: Oh god

That was your first hurricane heat and I got injured

David McCarter: You did get injured, but you stayed you stuck around you took pictures for us the time which I said I

D Brent Dowlen: had to drop out of the event, but I followed you along and took pictures

David McCarter: So for those of you listening hurricane heat is another level of spartan.

It is a Um, and during this event where you, on the four hour one, you show up with a rucksack and whatever gear they tell you to bring, and you do whatever [00:37:00] they tell you to do. Um, and you do is like team exercise. They have a 12 hour and a 24 hour version as well, which I have not done. Um, and I think our first thing we had to do was like take buckets of water, From the irrigation canal and dump it off in the in the in the parking lot or in the field, right?

Um, so we had a whole be that going there anyway, um After brent had gotten injured. Uh, I was concerned for you. He's like, is he okay? Is he gonna walk out of here? I gotta carry him or something um I remember we had to Take our pvc pipes tie it to our bucket Take a rough way out of our pack put the right weight in the bucket and then haul the holes rig You Up the mountain to the flat in the flat part of the mountain or whatever And i'm so irritated with myself because my team is already gone.

They're up the mountain. They're running blah blah blah And i'm just sitting there [00:38:00] thinking okay fat kid, you know, all these negative thoughts come into my head And the whole rig starts to come apart the whole everything just starts to fall apart and I You weren't there you were I think you were already on top of the mountain or something taking pictures You But I've said some words I probably shouldn't have said, um, yeah, I, I, I cuss myself out a lot.

So my buddy Adam, my buddy now, um, the Kyrteia, the leader of the event, Dave, are you okay? And I said, I don't care if you fail me on this event or not, you will have to kill me and bury my fat butt on the side of that mountain to get me to stop. He goes, okay. And, uh, luckily, I got the rig put back together, a couple members of my team came down to the bottom and grabbed the rig and helped me get up the inside of the mountain.

And for me, that's always been the mindset of, I have this goal. And unless I die, I'm gonna [00:39:00] go complete that goal. Um, sometimes with goals you have to learn how to pivot. So, but if it's a goal that, you know, like, like narrow it, you know, my goal is to get to the other circle next year. Um, I'm gonna keep going until I get there, or the bike explodes.

Um, and not giving up, not, not surrendering anything. Because that's the goal I've set forth. That's the realistic goal. And I've got it broken down into small pieces, but, that's the biggest mindset thing I can tell folks is, When you've got that goal in mind, you do everything you can until you get there.

And then when you get there, you set a new goal.

D Brent Dowlen: I remember on our first race together in 2016, we were on top of Whistler mountain and your, your shoe got stuck in the mud. We, we were,

David McCarter: we were, we were on top of the mountain. Yeah. We were approaching the top of the mountain.

D Brent Dowlen: I

David McCarter: [00:40:00] remember

D Brent Dowlen: that. On Spartan race.

Like when we're talking about mud, we're talking about suck your clothes off kind of mud. People lose all kinds of. It took me and another guy, like we, we dug Dave's shoe out of the mud, uh, while he was taking a rest and helping him, um, but I remember our conversation because you, you were, you were, so it was your first event, you were out of shape and you were in so much physical pain and emotional pain at the time.

And you asked me, it's like, how do, how do we do this?

And the discussion evolved into when we let step left, stepped across the start line, [00:41:00] the only option was the finish line. It was a stretcher or the finish line. And that was the conversation we moved into, uh, as we were progressing those miles, reversing those miles together was we stepped across the start line.

The option is a stretcher or the finish line.

David McCarter: And

D Brent Dowlen: I remember thinking is like, we're all going to die up here.

David McCarter: Those

D Brent Dowlen: are too stupid to quit and we, we both should have, but because I was severely out of shape shape myself, but I, I remember that discussion, that discussion helped fuel me as we went through this event together was, um, Well, there's death and there's the finish line.

And I know [00:42:00] that probably sounds extreme to some people, but that is the mindset of successful entrepreneurs as well. And, uh, people you look up to like Elon Musk is once you start a project, there's utter and complete failure. Are there success? But no matter what, we're riding this sucker to the grave. Uh, I think a lot of us are worried about our self preservation.

And it kicks in. This is one of the things they told us when I was in the military was, Your mind will quit. At 70 percent your body still got over 30 percent left that it can put out, but your brain puts on the brakes to try and protect you. And I think we do that to ourselves frequently with goals.

We're like, well, I have to protect me. And so we're going to, we're going to stop [00:43:00] here. We have more to give.

David McCarter: Well, I'm on that note too, is. When They have those other failures. Um when you let elon has a project that fails He's learning how to pivot and make a new goal make a new project And I think that along the lines of the self preservation scenario that you're just that you're proposing is We don't make a new goal because oh I failed at that one.

So i'm obviously a failure instead of okay I need to make a new goal Um, like you said with the uh, the scenario are so many people coming to the gym in january. They're gone by february It's because And this is again my opinion because i've done that person before um It's oh, I didn't get the goal. I wanted I didn't lose You know 30 pounds in the first month, so i've obviously failed and they don't send another goal And they don't set a realistic goal.

They just stop [00:44:00] and like certain people on the podcast right now told me in races Where I wanted to quit just keep standing just keep standing He's saying that to be for an I want to say an hour while we were in whistler and i'm like, okay Shutting him off or i'm gonna punch it But he's but he's right Just keep moving.

D Brent Dowlen: I remember taunting you. It's like, Hey, if you can catch me, you can punch me. Does that mean you have to keep moving?

Everybody needs an asshole friend. Just like

We've been discussing In real life what that actually looks like That it's not clean that is not neat. It's certainly not like TV and the next one the show We're gonna dive into what actually happens You As far as how you stay in your journey in pursuing your real life goals. Now, Dave, the statistics tell us that [00:45:00] 80 percent of people like this, this blew my mind.

80 percent of people actually don't even set goals. At the beginning, I commented on 6%. You have a 6 percent chance of the 20 percent that actually set goals to succeed. 80 percent of people do not actually actually set goals or set any goals for themselves. And of the 27 percent who do only 6 percent succeed.

These statistics tell us just a crazy idea. So let me ask this in, in the,

why should our audience set goals for their life? Because apparently a lot of people don't and don't see the value in it. So from your perspective, why should our audience actually set goals for their [00:46:00]

David McCarter: Because if you don't, you're going to be. Going through the motions, you're going to live a life of mediocrity and you're going to always have the back end.

This again, in my opinion, um, you're always going to have in the back of your mind. What if, what if, what if, what if, instead of, you know, I tried, I gave it a shot. Um, I succeeded here, here and here. Um, I have these adventures. I've had these cool things happen to me, these bad things happen to me, whatever.

But without setting goals, you're just being, you're just, you're a robot, you're going through motions. You know, if I didn't set a goal, and I'll just show this to the audience, you know, this is the, the world championship medal for Sparta World Champions, Trifecta World Championships that I just completed.

And that was a goal, because that was way harder than American races. And that set my seventh trifecta for the year. Um, I'm on track to get eight next weekend in Phoenix and without setting goals [00:47:00] of I'm going to go to Sparta and go get that done or I'm going to go do this and get that race done. I would never be there.

I would be sitting back going, man, all them people running Spartan are having fun. Um, so I guess the question is what kind of life you want. Do you want to live a life that doesn't have any meaning or do you actually want to set some goals and do some things?

D Brent Dowlen: David in the, in the decade of journey with multiple projects and pieces, let's talk about tools that work and don't work.

So right off the bat, are you motivated all the time or is this a discipline thing because we we've already touched on it, but it's this discipline or is this motivation?

David McCarter: Discipline. Motivation comes and goes discipline stays forever.

D Brent Dowlen: I

David McCarter: hate to be that blunt, but it's just You know the days you don't want it the days you don't want to get up like today I did not want to get up and go to the gym.

Okay, [00:48:00] that's where I went I went to the gym got my workout done because I gotta get it. I've got to go get it done. Um motivation I'm not I'm not feeling up to it. Well, while these stinking dog buttercup get up. Let's go That's where discipline comes in

D Brent Dowlen: And, you know, if you've been around the social media world at all, you've probably seen somebody, right? There's always posts about motivation versus discipline. But the reality is, uh, motivation is, is so fleeting. It's like, I mean, we all experience it just in, just in the normal week, right? We get up in the morning.

We're like, man, I'm feeling pretty good today. I might even go for a walk or I might even do this. And then come like three o'clock, you're like, Oh, screw it. Um,

Dave now, a lot of people have a lot of ideas and I know you, you've had a lot of dreams. You've had a lot of ideas. You've had a lot of [00:49:00] different, Hey, we should try this or we should try this. And it's good. That's absolutely a good way to be, how do you decide what goals are worth pursuing out of all those?

David McCarter: That's where things get difficult because the way I look at it is, um, what's providing the most overall value long term. Um, for the listeners, I got a pretty significant health diagnosis back in May. Brent, you know the details of it. We're not going to share that because I'm not going to bore everybody.

Um, I'm not dying. I'm not going to die. Uh, but it was enough to scare the, scare the bejesus out of me. And, um, so lifestyle changes have to be made, et cetera, et cetera. So when I look at my goals, I have to look at it in the lens of that, like what's going to provide the best return on my time investment.

Overall, not just tomorrow. [00:50:00] So for example, you know, I don't drink alcohol But if I was the type that did I could make the decision like I'm gonna go out my buddies get plastered in it Well, that's fine. You can't drink but you don't go out to the bar and get you know, crap faced Um, I can go out to the I can go out tonight and go get plastered with my buddies But is that going to provide long term benefits for me?

Well, no because It's just going to leave me a hangover and whatever, but we're going to the gym, provide me a little better long term benefits. Yes. Well, I can go out tonight and I can go out to Applebee's and eat nachos till my head explodes. But is that the right way? No, no. Those are small examples. As far as like goals and projects and things you want to get involved in, it's the same idea of what's going to provide the better return on my time investment, my commitment investment.

On the long term so you gotta look big picture. You gotta look five six ten years out not just [00:51:00] tomorrow um you also have to counterbalance that with uh What needs to be done right now, you know what? What are the things that need to happen like, you know, you've got two girls and a wife and your mother, right?

So your projects look a little bit different Maybe you you take the family on vacation or something as opposed to going and racing at season postpartum races You Um, as a husband, I'm sure you have probably had that, that issue. What that idea of fold around once in a while. Um, so yeah, I'm not sure I answered the question appropriately or not, but, uh, look at the big picture, look at the long term time investment and look what's prudent right now.

Um, and as far, this is another way to say this, as far as prudent, this is something I've had to learn. So that was the hard way of don't just invest, don't just invest in just yourself. Invest in others. So if [00:52:00] If I had to go to the gym and You know, like brent's family was having a big thanksgiving Meal or something i'm gonna go to that because i'm investing in them as a family them as my friends, etc Not just me going to the gym.

That makes sense. Um because you also have to be You have to invest in like emotional connections. You have to invest in your social connections, not just You getting all slim and trim and stuff in the gym or at a Spartan race or whatever.

D Brent Dowlen: So what I just heard out of that is you're coming out for thanksgiving. That's what I

David McCarter: just heard. Yeah, well, there's that depends if you have a trophy

D Brent Dowlen: or

David McCarter: not. Not in my

D Brent Dowlen: house, but that's a whole nother conversation now guys We're talking about deciding what goals are worth pursuing Uh, be sure and check out my last episode where we talked about socrates triple filter system That will help you.

That was good, by the way, [00:53:00] with this. Oh, thank you very much.

David McCarter: You're welcome. That was really good. I appreciate it a lot.

D Brent Dowlen: I didn't even prompt him for that one.

David McCarter: No, you didn't. I just, I listened to yesterday and I'm like, dude, that rocks ,

D Brent Dowlen: right? That, that will help you guys as you're deciding on, you know, what ideas are worth actually pursuing now.

Dave coaches throughout all kinds of tools that they say work, which is great. You know, I've, I've heard a lot of things. Um, but in reality, right, what are some of the things that have helped you stay on track? Some of the tools. Some of the focuses, some of the ideals. What are some of the things that have actually helped you stay present and on track with your various goals?

David McCarter: So I, one thing that, um, I know Joe has said this before and others have said this, is get your own personal board of directors or board of trustees or board of advisors, wherever you want to call it. [00:54:00] People that are close to you and you're on this board, obviously, um, who will Not how do my dad used to say a little smoke up your tail, um, but they'll tell you like it is They'll tell you unbiased opinions and unbiased um Options and and count on those folks to help you stay on track.

Um Have people in your life. They're going to hold you accountable because you're the only one holding yourself accountable. That's a challenge um You know like yeah, it's just sometimes a challenge to hold yourself accountable. Uh, put a date on the calendar. Um I have Like, when I finished, uh, The Narrow Way South, which I did Route 66 from East to West this year, Um, I put a date on the calendar.

I will leave on the, the, uh, 5th of July. I'll return the 23rd of July. That is, that's when I'm coming back. Or 27th, whenever it was. Uh, 27th is 23 days. Um, [00:55:00] and put a date on the calendar, you know, my Spartan racing season, uh, we'll be playing here in the next couple of weeks, get dates in the calendar. That way you are trapped into that date.

Um, you're not running OCR. You're not doing something like that. Put a date on the calendar that you're going to walk around the block or, you know, that you're going to run your first mile or you're going to get that PR and weightlifting or whatever. Um, and track that accordingly on the like food side of things.

I learned this like Brenton, you know, talked about this repeatedly is track everything. Track any calorie that goes into your mouth because that will help you out so much for learning why your nutrition is out of whack. I had to learn that the hard way. Um, but, um, I have personal board of directors or advisors track, uh, put dates in the calendar, track everything.

And like for fear of tracking everything and, um, yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: What's your number one tool for staying [00:56:00] on track on focus?

David McCarter: My actual tool? My calendar. I kid you not. I eat, live, and breathe, and die by my calendar. Um, I use Outlook. That's not just a, not just a, uh, a plug or something, but, Um, you know, if I'm going to be like, I met with you today, it's on my calendar.

Um, my gym time is on my calendar. I, it's a tool that keeps you on track. It's a tool that helps you stay focused. Um, use to do list, use Microsoft to do, use Google to do, version of to do, whatever you gotta do. Uh, there's so many free tools out there. Uh, so many free calendar apps out there, um, that can help you with that.

And if you're not, um, If you're not a person that does that stuff, like maybe you're hearing this on somebody's, you know, gen one iPod or something Then Get a paper calendar and write it out manually, um, but keep, keep copious [00:57:00] notes in your calendar, um, that help you stay on track and stay on track toward your goals.

D Brent Dowlen: If you can go back 10 years, right, with all the wisdom. And experience you've gained from this journey for the last 10 years. If you go back 10 years and tell yourself something about this process back on day one, back in 2015, because I still remember this conversation back in 2015, I came to you. I said, Dave, I got an idea.

Are involved with a youth conference. And so I told Dave and Zeke, our other board director at the time, like Dave, Zeke, I got an idea. This is what we're going to do. We're going to beat into the theme of this year. And both of them are going to be like, What is all this? But I still remember that conversation.

And if you go back ten years, [00:58:00] and tell yourself something now, before we walked onto the mountain at Whistler, before we got in the car and left that morning,

David McCarter: It's gonna suck, but it's gonna be so worth it. I mean that's, it's gonna suck, but you're gonna come out the other side better. You're not gonna be able to do everything right away. You're still not, you're still gonna struggle. But you're gonna be better off now, better off later than you are right now. Um, now I can do a beast, and a Spartan beast would be pretty well okay.

I can't do a gospel yet, but like, I was telling somebody in Greece, I can pick the atlas stone up now by myself and chuck it at you. I can run with a hundred pound spherical stone on my shoulder. I remember when I couldn't pick that up. And, um, you know, I can do obstacles now that I never thought possible before.

And it all takes, it's, it's tough to get there. And you have all the plenty of doubts like we talked [00:59:00] about before. Um, but you're going to get there if you keep going. Embrace the suck and keep going.

D Brent Dowlen: Now, gentlemen, if you're getting something out of this, be sure, click the like button, do all the good social media nonsense that I absolutely hate and leave us a comment on whatever platform you're listening to us on.

Leave us a review. That's even better. We would love to hear what you have to say about the Fallible Man podcast, about the conversation we're having. Dave, for someone listening right now, you said at the beginning that one of the hardest things is just starting. So I, I'm a listener and I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm going to start, I've listened to this podcast, I'm motivated, I'm inspired, and I'm gonna start.

What are the first three steps that our listeners should take starting after this show to start this journey of pursuing their long term goals?

David McCarter: First three steps. [01:00:00] Wow. Commit to the goal, make a plan, get moving. Because if you don't commit, you will make a plan. If you don't make a plan, you will start moving. And a plan means putting a date on the calendar.

D Brent Dowlen: I think a lot of us skip over that portion of it. As far as putting, putting a date on the calendar makes it real.

Cause I, I'm, I'm a very much like you. I live by my calendar. Putting it on my calendar means it's real means I'm going, going to do this. It's going to happen. And I think a lot of us like to skip that detail because it's great to think about it in, Oh, you know, one day I will fill in the blank.

David McCarter: But one day or day one.

One day or day one. Do you know what that

means? Let's,

D Brent Dowlen: [01:01:00] let's work it out.

David McCarter: So one day means, one day, I will run a Spartan race. I will do a Spartan sprint. And I will have fun being muddy and gross. Uh, which I was muddy and gross. Or, day one, I showed up to Spartan in Washoeville, Washington. I showed my tail at the start line, and I crossed the start line, or the finish line.

Or, let's put it in a real context for the listeners. One day, I will lose the 50 pounds of overweightness that I have, overweightness, of weight that I have, I have to lose. Or, day one, you know what? I showed up to the gym, I am working with the trainer, and I am getting moving on my goals. Or even before that, or even before all of that, uh, day one, I got off the couch, or got on my recliner, and I walked around the block.

One day is a dream. Day one is real, and it's [01:02:00] first to get things moving. One day or day one.

D Brent Dowlen: What's next for the common man OCR, other notewise known as David McArthur.

David McCarter: Um, I will be going to the Spartan trifecta weekend in Phoenix next weekend. So if you're in the area, come on out to the Phoenix international raceway.

I'll be there all two, all two days. Um, it's part of it's three days. Um, and then first weekend in December or second weekend in December, whichever, um, I'll be heading to CDA Florida. For my last trifecta weekend of the year, uh, both racing with team Oscar Mike, so that'll be great. And then we'll see what 2025 holds.

D Brent Dowlen: Where's the best place for people to connect with you?

David McCarter: Uh, anywhere on social media at Common Man OCR, uh, Facebook, Instagram are my two primary ones. And then you can also go to, uh, Common Man [01:03:00] OCR. org. And that just goes right to my Facebook page. And

D Brent Dowlen: you can find Dave's full, full race schedule on there.

You guys are on the video version. You can see it in front of you. If you're on listening to us on a podcast platform, then yeah, you can check out. At Common Man OCR, uh, and I think I actually even have links on my website as well because like I said, Dave's a friend, Dave's a partner, and it's just yeah, we sell Common Man OCR merch on the foulman.

com shop. So that's foulman. com slash shop where you can get my merchandise, you can get Dave's merchandise, you can even get the great skid guard that he wears part of the time when he's racing. Custom made common man OCR skid guard proud of that one I designed that for him because we we wanted to do something for his adventures Dave [01:04:00] I know that you're super worried about what group Uh in sparta was responsible for the agricultural labor Your costs like I know that's a major concern you get B, which is Helots.

I'm sure I am saying that wrong because I can't speak Greek. Uh, you are correct. That is the correct answer.

If you guessed Helots, you were correct.

I know, right? Hey, I, like I said, I tailored it for you. I thought cultural crap. He will not know about Sparta.

David McCarter: I had no freaking idea.

D Brent Dowlen: Dave, our audience heard nothing else today. What is the most important takeaway you want them to hear today?

David McCarter: What are you doing to tell Luke Skywalker? Do or do not. There is no try. Um, [01:05:00] yes, you can try. You're going to fail, but keep going. You know, I would see. Um, when you're walking through hell, keep going.

D Brent Dowlen: I like it guys for common man, OCR, otherwise known as Dave McCarter, myself. Thanks for hanging out today. Make those long term goals and just start. That puts you far above everybody else. Go through the rest of the episode, be sure and download the companion download, because there will be a lot of great starting points on there for you to help you pursue these long term goals.

For Dave and myself, be better tomorrow because what you do today, we'll see you on the next one.

David McCarter: This has been the Fallible Man podcast. Your home for everything man, husband, and father. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www. thefallibleman. com for more content and get your own Fallible Man [01:06:00] gear.