Breathe, Write, Rewire: Experiencing the Life-Altering Impact of Storywork Coaching

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Welcome to the Fallible Man podcast.

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At the end of this episode,
you'll know what story work is.

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If you didn't know what it was before,
you'll understand how it works and how

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it could possibly apply to your life.

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And if it's something you are actually
interested in utilizing and for the first

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time ever on the show, You can experience
a live story work coaching session with

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our guest Dave Robinson as he coaches me
directly and you indirectly because you

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can play along as you listen and you can
see what story work does in real time.

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And if it's something that would
be worth your time or something

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you think might help you.

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Dave also has an incredible
offer for our audience.

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So be sure to stick around through
the end, check out this thought

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from Dave and let's get into it.

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Breathe, breathe.

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There's my, my favorite quote
is a Viktor Frankl quote.

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He wrote man search for
meaning tremendous book.

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If you haven't read it, um, in between
stimulus and response, there is a

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space in that space is our power to
choose our response and our response

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lies, our growth and our freedom.

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So in between stimulus, what happens
to you response, how you respond.

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There's a space that I like to call
the wedge, and any, any personal

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development work is all about expanding
that wedge between the stuff that

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happens to you and how you react.

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And in that wedge, no matter how big
or small that wedge is, you can always,

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you can always take a breath.

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And that will change how you react,
whether you do that at work, you do

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that at home when you're dealing with
your kids or your spouse, whether

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you're working through something
super positive or super negative.

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Anything in between.

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Breathe and your life will change.

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Here's the million dollar question.

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How do men like us reach our full
potential, grow into the men we

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dream of being, while taking care
of our responsibilities, working,

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being good husbands, fathers,
and still take care of ourselves?

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Well, that's the big question.

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In this podcast, we'll help you
answer those questions and more.

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My name is Brent, and welcome
to the Fallible Man Podcast.

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Welcome to the album, man podcast, your
home for all things, man, husband, and

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father, big shout out to fallible nation.

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That's our private community.

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And there's links down in the description
or the show notes, wherever you're viewing

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this or listening to this show guys,
warm welcome to our first time listeners.

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Hey, if you're just checking
us out for the first time.

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I know there's a lot
competing for your attention.

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So thanks for checking us out.

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I'd love to hear what you think about it.

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You can reach me at the fallible
man on almost any social media

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platform or leave us review.

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Tell us what you thought of the show.

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I'd love to check that out.

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My name is Brent today.

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My special guest is master
story work coach, Dave Robinson.

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Dave, welcome to the
valuable man podcast brand.

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Thank you for having me, man.

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I am pumped to chat with you
and your audience and have an

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awesome conversation today, man.

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This is going to be good, man.

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I'm, I'm, I'm excited for this one,
but we like to start pretty light days.

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So how's your trivia?

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It depends on the subject matter.

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So we'll find out.

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That's fair.

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That's fair.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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How long did dinosaurs live on the earth?

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Is it a 100 to 150 million years,
be 150 to 200 million years.

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See 200 plus million years are D.

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Never.

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I like your D never answer, but I'm
not going to go with that as the final.

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Uh, I'm going to go see
longer than 200 million years.

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All right, guys, you know, the rules.

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Don't cheat.

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Don't go ahead.

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Don't look it up, play
along for God's sake.

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Don't write it down if you're driving.

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And we'll come back to
that later in the show.

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Now, Dave, in this moment,
just today, nothing else.

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Who is Dave Robinson in your own words?

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Dave Robinson is a man who
inspires others by helping people

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to enter the depths of their own.

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Inner cave and fight
their own inner dragon.

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Um, Dave is a man who loves nature,
loves impact, and is stoked to be alive.

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Dave, are you a Harry Potter person?

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My two sisters are, my two sisters are.

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Um, I'm not as much of
a Harry Potter person.

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I'm, I'm privy to Harry Potter.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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Well, at the beginning, your first
year in, in Hogwarts, the sorting

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hat puts you into one of four houses.

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Do you know the houses?

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I don't know the houses.

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The houses are Slytherin,
Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, or Ravenclaw.

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Which house would the
sorting hat put you in?

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Ravenclaw sounds pretty tight.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And I don't know whether
that's good or bad.

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Okay.

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Perfect.

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I'll take, I'll take the Ravenclaw then.

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That sounds, that sounds cool
for not knowing about that.

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You're doing good, right?

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In the zombie apocalypse.

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What's your weapon of choice?

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Uh, my zombie apocalypse weapon
of choice is my 12 gate Mossberg.

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Okay.

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In the bathroom may or
may not actually be there.

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We'll go with the may.

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And, uh, yeah, that's probably
what I'm going to grab.

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It's an interesting place to keep
it, but yeah, you never know.

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You never know.

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There are others elsewhere.

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Uh, and I feel like that's the middle of.

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The house situation.

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And I was thinking one day I was
like, yeah, what if I'm in the

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shower or something like that?

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You know, like I gotta have
something in the bathroom.

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So that's, that's where my mind went.

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No, no little plexiglass box with
the, you know, break break if need.

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Yeah, no, no, no, no.

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Thank you.

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I, my first thought though, was I, I.

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Um, I have a recurve bow.

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Like I really love shooting bows
and arrows and I've never actually

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shot a compound bow, but, um, my
grandfather gave me his, uh, like

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70 year old cherry wood recurve.

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And I have had such a joy shooting that.

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And, um, I'd like to say I would be.

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Good enough to, you know, pick heads off
at distance and reload fast enough, but

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it's probably not going to be the case.

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And so I went with the more modern,
uh, weapon of choice there, but in my

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heart, I'm, I'm a Lord of the Rings guy.

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And I'm just like picking
people off on the run with,

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you know, with my recurve bow.

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So, well, you can't go
wrong with the Mossberg.

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I love my Mossberg.

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Uh, but I feel you on the bow.

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I actually learned how to
shoot bow on a recurve.

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Um, I have a nice compound bow for
hunting, but I grew up shooting

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regular bows, recurve bows.

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And then eventually, like I was, I
think 17 before I got the compound

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bows, uh, but we just actually
finished rewatching the Lord of the

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Rings, the movies with my daughters.

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It's awesome.

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They love Legolas.

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Like they are so interested in
archery just because of that movie.

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Good for them.

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And good for him.

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You know, I think he inspired
a generation, you know,

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it's a, it's fantastic.

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They got to shoot him at girl scout camp.

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Now they both want bows.

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It was like, okay, it's a
good problem to have, man.

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It's a really good problem to have.

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Yeah.

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As a father, yeah.

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Drinks, coffee, tea, energy
drink, soda, or something else.

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Coffee.

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I'm a coffee guy.

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My, uh, my fiance, Ruslana, uh, actually
owned a coffee shop and when we first met.

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And so I would sneak my way over there
whenever I could to pay by, you know,

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hang out with her more and get her
coffees and smoothies and stuff like that.

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And so, uh, I am.

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Drinking a coffee right now.

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It's actually her old, her old coffee mug.

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Her, uh, shop was called Pulp Fiction.

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And then she got a nice cease
and desist letter from the, you

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know, Hollywood or whatever it is.

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And so she, Changed her name
to pulp RVA, which Richmond,

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Virginia, where we're from.

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So, um, I'm a coffee guy.

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They suck, man.

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I would take that as like flattery.

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That's what I thought.

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It's like, it's coffee, not movie.

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It's totally different.

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I thought the trademarks didn't have to
overlap like that, but that was apparently

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not a battle she wanted to fight.

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I don't blame her.

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Yeah.

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I'm not sure I'd take them
to the movie studios myself.

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Right.

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They, they, they don't
have a sense of humor.

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No, not in the least.

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What purchase of a
hundred dollars of less?

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Or less have you made in
the last year that's had the

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biggest impact on your life?

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Great question.

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Um, I'm a, I'm a gear guy, right?

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And, uh, I have bought a lot of gloves,
like good, good, I've run too, right?

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So like good running gloves.

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You know, and I think that there's
no such thing as cold weather.

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It's just bad gear.

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So I've got like good hats.

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I've got good gloves.

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And, um, there's an outdoor company
called O R I don't know whether you

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say that or, or it's just, or, uh,
I don't know, but, uh, I think it

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stands for like outdoor recreation,
but don't quote me on that one.

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I'm not a hundred percent positive.

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Um, but I got a couple of their gloves
and it's just, you know, it's winter

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time here and there's, it's perfect.

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It's just, it's great.

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So if you have poor weather where
you are by good gear and you'll be

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able to go outside and the elements.

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No, I've, I've lived in Norfolk.

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How's the weather
comparatively in Richland?

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It is, um, It's cold.

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We're having a cold winter and, you
know, obviously cold is relative, uh, all

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things considered, you know, if it's below
freezing Fahrenheit, it's cold to me.

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And, you know, we've been dipping
down into the tens and twenties at

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night so much so that, um, our, we
have, we've raised rabbits on our

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little homestead for meat and, and
fertilizer and things like that.

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And all their, their Uh, I got to
buy new bottles for everybody because

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they've all frozen and cracked and, you
know, we're going out there and pouring

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almost boiling hot water into the,
their new little tin water containers

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to melt out the ice and get it so
they can actually drink their water.

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So, you know, we're, it's cold,
man, but it's, well, springs

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are coming as it always does.

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So I'm excited.

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Eventually it's going to get there.

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Yeah.

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What is your best playground?

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Insult?

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Oh man.

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Playground insult.

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So this is pg, uh, or g?

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Um, I feel like it's gotta
be a yo mama type situation.

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Joke, you know, I don't know any good
yo mama jokes anymore, but I think,

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uh, response to anything with yo mama.

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Mm-Hmm, is probably, uh, adequate.

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Playground fire upper, you know, like
that's going to escalate the situation

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regardless of what was said or anything,
you know Yo mama response for sure.

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Yeah, let me guess over 35.

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I am 35 36 next week

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Well done Sorry, there's a whole
generation where those were The answer.

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And then they kind of like
disappeared, which blew my mind.

242
00:11:39,110 --> 00:11:39,910
Cause I'm riding the ride.

243
00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:40,800
I'm 44.

244
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:44,140
I just hit, I'm riding that age
group of that was like, I remember

245
00:11:44,140 --> 00:11:45,920
when your mama jokes became a thing.

246
00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:48,454
And were for years.

247
00:11:48,555 --> 00:11:51,525
And it was, it was the ultimate,
like upper, someone would

248
00:11:51,525 --> 00:11:52,805
say something about your mom.

249
00:11:53,215 --> 00:11:53,415
Yeah.

250
00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:54,215
Oh my God.

251
00:11:54,225 --> 00:11:55,595
That hit me in my chest.

252
00:11:55,604 --> 00:12:01,155
Just you doing that right there,
you know, those are fighting words.

253
00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:02,464
That's that's fantastic.

254
00:12:02,465 --> 00:12:06,204
I might bring them back on social
media, you know, to haters.

255
00:12:07,234 --> 00:12:07,614
That'd be good.

256
00:12:07,704 --> 00:12:08,334
Thing is like.

257
00:12:09,105 --> 00:12:12,135
You get below 30 and they
wouldn't get it at all.

258
00:12:13,205 --> 00:12:16,045
It's not, it's not a knock
on, on that generation.

259
00:12:16,045 --> 00:12:17,695
It's just right.

260
00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:21,224
Certain things hit with certain
generations with the way people's

261
00:12:21,234 --> 00:12:26,165
outlooks are and attitudes are much
below 30, they're gonna be like.

262
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,429
What's that even supposed to mean?

263
00:12:28,730 --> 00:12:29,149
Yeah.

264
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:29,730
Yeah.

265
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:34,230
Well, my second answer, which was like
a G 13 answer was the triple X, the, the

266
00:12:34,230 --> 00:12:38,980
socket like that, that would, that would
absolutely be, you know, up there as well.

267
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:42,609
Uh, cause I don't know how that
swept the nation, but it sure did.

268
00:12:42,659 --> 00:12:48,640
So if you could go back and give
your 18 year old self one piece

269
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:49,720
of advice, what would it be?

270
00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:54,260
Don't go to college.

271
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:56,640
I like it.

272
00:12:57,060 --> 00:12:57,379
Yeah.

273
00:12:57,650 --> 00:12:59,650
Um, travel instead.

274
00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:04,840
I feel like it was a, all things
considered, you know, I graduated, I

275
00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:09,149
have a, I've got a degree, you know,
I've et cetera, et cetera, et cetera,

276
00:13:09,150 --> 00:13:13,789
but all things considered looking back,
it was not worth the money that I spent.

277
00:13:14,180 --> 00:13:21,439
And, uh, nor was I, do I feel like it
was worth the four years of my prime time

278
00:13:21,439 --> 00:13:29,425
life to go and just, you know, Party and,
you know, mess around and study stuff

279
00:13:29,425 --> 00:13:31,025
that I didn't really give a crap about.

280
00:13:31,135 --> 00:13:33,455
And so, uh, I would have traveled instead.

281
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:34,605
You party?

282
00:13:34,635 --> 00:13:35,435
No.

283
00:13:35,444 --> 00:13:35,764
No.

284
00:13:36,335 --> 00:13:37,254
Not in college.

285
00:13:37,974 --> 00:13:38,404
No.

286
00:13:38,784 --> 00:13:39,244
That doesn't happen.

287
00:13:39,434 --> 00:13:40,355
That's just in the movies.

288
00:13:40,974 --> 00:13:41,314
Right.

289
00:13:41,355 --> 00:13:43,764
And it's because it's in the
movies that it ends up happening.

290
00:13:43,775 --> 00:13:45,795
That's, that's, we're coming
back to Hollywood here.

291
00:13:46,334 --> 00:13:48,505
You know, yeah, it's like hypnotherapy.

292
00:13:48,505 --> 00:13:49,175
It's just in the movies.

293
00:13:49,175 --> 00:13:51,385
Yeah, exactly.

294
00:13:51,555 --> 00:13:52,675
Free show joke.

295
00:13:53,244 --> 00:13:53,615
Sorry.

296
00:13:53,635 --> 00:13:54,004
Sorry.

297
00:13:54,005 --> 00:13:59,564
If you guys have been around the show
before, you know, I, uh, I actually did

298
00:13:59,635 --> 00:14:04,114
a show with a hypnotherapist and she
was very gracious when I made that joke.

299
00:14:04,745 --> 00:14:06,935
Uh, so shout out to her for that.

300
00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:13,064
What is one totally random fact
that people don't know about you?

301
00:14:14,345 --> 00:14:17,484
Totally random fact that
people don't know about me.

302
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:22,195
Um, well I would say the rabbits,
but I already spoiled that one.

303
00:14:22,625 --> 00:14:25,155
Um, I hate baseball.

304
00:14:26,894 --> 00:14:29,944
I know that's going to, yeah,
people are going to hit ends.

305
00:14:29,944 --> 00:14:32,185
You know, there's a small
segment of the population is,

306
00:14:32,185 --> 00:14:33,175
you know, let's screw this guy.

307
00:14:33,474 --> 00:14:36,115
You know, but I just, I, I hate baseball.

308
00:14:36,115 --> 00:14:37,274
I grew up a soccer player.

309
00:14:37,594 --> 00:14:42,834
Um, my best friend, five houses down,
also named Dave, since I was eight

310
00:14:42,834 --> 00:14:45,054
years old, was a huge baseball player.

311
00:14:45,055 --> 00:14:48,984
And his dad tried to get me to play over
and over and over and over and over again.

312
00:14:48,994 --> 00:14:52,085
It just was, you know, I played a
ton of sports growing up and I just

313
00:14:52,105 --> 00:14:57,464
couldn't stand it and I still, to
this day, I probably go to like,

314
00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:58,905
we've got a double way team here.

315
00:14:59,219 --> 00:15:04,260
And I go to one game every half dozen
years just for the sake of like, you know,

316
00:15:04,310 --> 00:15:07,910
just poking around and checking it out
and I show up in like the third inning

317
00:15:07,910 --> 00:15:11,190
and I'll leave by like the seventh inning
and I'm like, Oh, that's enough baseball

318
00:15:11,190 --> 00:15:13,679
for the next half dozen years, dude.

319
00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:16,400
So, yeah, I am just not a baseball guy.

320
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:18,740
You know, I, I totally get you.

321
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:23,589
I, I had a friend who's actually a
professional pitcher and I, he'd come

322
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:27,940
to Washington and His team would come to
Washington and play against the Mariners,

323
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:29,450
and I wouldn't even go for his games.

324
00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:31,690
I don't like you that much, dude.

325
00:15:31,690 --> 00:15:34,439
I'm not driving to Seattle and
paying that price and sitting

326
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,150
there for that long for that.

327
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:37,100
Yeah.

328
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:37,380
Yeah.

329
00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:38,730
I'm gonna have to like,
wave at you for two minutes.

330
00:15:38,750 --> 00:15:40,269
I can, I can jump on a Zoom call with you.

331
00:15:41,180 --> 00:15:42,250
Catch me afterwards.

332
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:42,580
Yeah.

333
00:15:42,619 --> 00:15:42,879
Yeah.

334
00:15:43,099 --> 00:15:44,229
Let me know where y'all are going.

335
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:46,190
I'll see you there.

336
00:15:46,210 --> 00:15:46,400
Yeah.

337
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:47,310
That type of situation.

338
00:15:47,790 --> 00:15:51,890
I went to, uh, event someone put
on, they were like trying to get,

339
00:15:52,609 --> 00:15:54,030
uh, I used to be a youth minister.

340
00:15:54,469 --> 00:15:56,719
And so they were trying to connect
with local youth ministers,

341
00:15:56,759 --> 00:15:58,759
uh, for their mission project.

342
00:15:59,390 --> 00:16:02,849
And they, they got like the
big box and stuff like that.

343
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:06,070
So my wife and I went because
I'd never been in a box, right?

344
00:16:07,029 --> 00:16:07,769
And free food.

345
00:16:08,189 --> 00:16:08,469
Yeah.

346
00:16:08,479 --> 00:16:10,319
Free food, box seats.

347
00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:16,050
The best part of the whole game was like
the, the field crew, like did this, like

348
00:16:16,189 --> 00:16:20,549
coordinated dance on the diamond as they
were straightening it up between Indians,

349
00:16:21,620 --> 00:16:22,879
best part of the whole game, right?

350
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:24,550
A hundred percent, a hundred percent.

351
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:30,020
We do, um, uh, there's the local
team, like in and around July 4th,

352
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:34,170
it's like the June 30th to July
10th games all have fireworks.

353
00:16:34,719 --> 00:16:36,359
And, uh, when I was in, in.

354
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:38,580
High school or probably middle school.

355
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:42,740
My dad would drag us to,
to that is like a twofer.

356
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:46,419
It's like, I took you to a, an event
and there's free fireworks here.

357
00:16:46,450 --> 00:16:49,870
So, you know, it was like a kill
two birds with one stone situation.

358
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,920
But I, I totally can appreciate
a hundred percent now.

359
00:16:54,119 --> 00:17:00,959
Um, I have since gotten privy to that, to
the, the, the idea that there's fireworks

360
00:17:00,959 --> 00:17:04,549
here and there's our favorite ice cream
joint is just right down the road.

361
00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:08,119
And so now what we'll do is we'll go
and get ice cream and just kind of walk

362
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:13,355
up the hill a little bit about 9 30 on,
you know, July, Second, third, fourth,

363
00:17:13,355 --> 00:17:14,585
fifth, sixth, something like that.

364
00:17:14,595 --> 00:17:15,994
Don't need to go to the game.

365
00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:18,405
Don't need to pay anything
other than for the ice cream.

366
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,444
And then we get to watch the
fireworks and then go home.

367
00:17:20,815 --> 00:17:25,614
And that is my hack of,
of Richmond, Virginia.

368
00:17:25,625 --> 00:17:28,945
If you ever come and visit around that
timeframe, that's, that's what to do.

369
00:17:29,375 --> 00:17:30,054
I dig it.

370
00:17:30,064 --> 00:17:31,844
That's a, that's a much better solution.

371
00:17:31,865 --> 00:17:32,975
Eat ice cream and watch that.

372
00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:34,905
It's hard to hire fireworks.

373
00:17:36,284 --> 00:17:36,725
Good point.

374
00:17:37,085 --> 00:17:37,504
Good point.

375
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:41,100
What's something everyone should
know about you before we dig

376
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:42,320
into the meat of today's show?

377
00:17:44,540 --> 00:17:46,780
Crushing it with these
with these questions, man.

378
00:17:47,110 --> 00:17:53,545
Um, I Have found my hedgehog.

379
00:17:55,345 --> 00:17:56,495
I have found my hedgehog.

380
00:17:56,515 --> 00:18:02,244
It's a concept by Jim Collins who wrote
good to great and The hedgehog is the

381
00:18:02,245 --> 00:18:05,914
intersection think of a Venn diagram
The hedgehog is the intersection of the

382
00:18:05,914 --> 00:18:11,604
thing that you love to do that you not
that you like not that you good at You

383
00:18:11,605 --> 00:18:15,665
know the thing that you love to do that
you would do for free but also drives

384
00:18:15,665 --> 00:18:20,024
your economic engine or fills your
economic reservoir and the third thing

385
00:18:20,124 --> 00:18:26,070
is This thing has to be something that
you were born for, created for, or could

386
00:18:26,070 --> 00:18:27,310
one day be the best in the world at.

387
00:18:27,770 --> 00:18:31,050
And, uh, that for me is story work.

388
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:36,900
Uh, it wasn't, you know, coaching in a
D1 strength and conditioning department.

389
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:39,790
It wasn't, um, you
know, fitness or health.

390
00:18:39,799 --> 00:18:41,009
It wasn't financial planning.

391
00:18:41,010 --> 00:18:45,330
It wasn't any myriad number of other
things that I've, I've hats that

392
00:18:45,330 --> 00:18:47,060
I've jobs that I've done, et cetera.

393
00:18:47,330 --> 00:18:51,730
Um, I never either loved it or You
know, like I love soccer, like, but

394
00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:53,310
no one's paying me to play soccer.

395
00:18:53,310 --> 00:18:54,720
Like, that's not the hedgehog, right?

396
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,520
I have to pay twice a year, 80 now.

397
00:18:57,530 --> 00:18:59,070
No, they raised it to 90 last fall.

398
00:18:59,070 --> 00:19:02,870
So 90 twice a year for the privilege
of playing soccer with my friends.

399
00:19:03,189 --> 00:19:04,630
You know, so that's not
the hedgehog, right?

400
00:19:04,630 --> 00:19:07,789
But this, this story work is my hedgehog.

401
00:19:07,789 --> 00:19:08,359
So I.

402
00:19:08,620 --> 00:19:11,590
When you hear us talk about
this, I truly love this.

403
00:19:11,830 --> 00:19:13,760
And it's something that I'm going
to do for the rest of my life.

404
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:15,160
Awesome.

405
00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:16,790
Awesome guys.

406
00:19:16,790 --> 00:19:20,070
We've been getting no Dave so far
and just who he is, what he's about

407
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,490
a little bit about his personality.

408
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:22,629
Next part of the show.

409
00:19:22,630 --> 00:19:24,110
We're going to dive into Dave's story.

410
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,709
What is story work?

411
00:19:25,710 --> 00:19:26,860
Since that's what we're
talking about today.

412
00:19:26,900 --> 00:19:29,990
How can it help you was
beneficial, et cetera, et cetera.

413
00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:31,790
We're going to roll to our
sponsor and we'll be right

414
00:19:31,790 --> 00:19:33,100
back with more for Dave Robson.

415
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And my pillow delivers guys walking
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443
00:21:03,959 --> 00:21:06,860
We just spent some time getting to
know who Dave is, what he's about, what

444
00:21:06,860 --> 00:21:10,340
he's like, and this part of the show,
we're going to dive into Dave's story.

445
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:12,550
And what, what is story work?

446
00:21:12,550 --> 00:21:15,040
We're talking about story work
today and how it can help you.

447
00:21:15,050 --> 00:21:15,280
A bit.

448
00:21:16,580 --> 00:21:19,500
When Dave and I connected, I
honestly, that was my first question.

449
00:21:19,509 --> 00:21:20,560
It's like, what the hell is story work?

450
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:21,630
I have no idea.

451
00:21:22,260 --> 00:21:26,320
So we're going to dig into that
and why we're actually even talking

452
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,669
about it, because I think it's
going to be really important and

453
00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:30,569
really relative to your life.

454
00:21:30,929 --> 00:21:34,520
So Dave, tell us your story, right?

455
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,029
You, you mentioned a couple
of different things in the

456
00:21:37,030 --> 00:21:38,629
previous portion of the show.

457
00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:42,219
Uh, you, you have a background
of jobs like myself.

458
00:21:42,219 --> 00:21:45,169
You've been through several
and you landed in this.

459
00:21:45,900 --> 00:21:47,780
You're, you started out
as a teacher, right?

460
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:50,040
So tell us the story of Dave Robinson.

461
00:21:51,330 --> 00:21:51,560
Yeah.

462
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:56,690
So I, um, I looking back, I've
always been in the service industry.

463
00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,669
I've always wanted to impart
knowledge or, or teach or coach

464
00:22:00,669 --> 00:22:02,099
or advise in some capacity.

465
00:22:02,389 --> 00:22:03,480
Um, I've been an athlete.

466
00:22:03,645 --> 00:22:05,825
my my whole life, but
never really a good one.

467
00:22:05,915 --> 00:22:08,675
I've been more multifaceted
and well rounded.

468
00:22:08,675 --> 00:22:14,145
So if you baseball side, you put a
sports ball or item in front of me,

469
00:22:14,145 --> 00:22:18,235
I'm gonna look like I've at least
done it a couple times in the past.

470
00:22:18,265 --> 00:22:21,650
And so I was always athletic.

471
00:22:21,650 --> 00:22:27,760
I feel like I've got enough of
the ADHD in me to be a jack of

472
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,529
all trades and a master of few.

473
00:22:29,540 --> 00:22:32,290
I don't like the phrase master
of none, but a master of few.

474
00:22:32,660 --> 00:22:37,779
And I actually went to college to
be a high school history teacher.

475
00:22:38,319 --> 00:22:42,774
And Again, in the previous segment,
you know that my true thoughts was I

476
00:22:42,774 --> 00:22:45,504
should have just traveled the world
for four years during that time frame.

477
00:22:45,504 --> 00:22:50,744
But, uh, I found out a couple
weeks before I graduated as I was

478
00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:52,244
applying to master's programs.

479
00:22:52,245 --> 00:22:56,855
I had the realization, the download,
the, the come to Jesus moment,

480
00:22:56,855 --> 00:23:00,619
the, you know, finally listened
to my gut of like, ah, I did it.

481
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,570
don't really want to do this.

482
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:07,490
And I realized that I didn't want to
be the teacher that only wanted to

483
00:23:07,490 --> 00:23:12,340
have his summers off and coach high
school soccer and, you know, connect

484
00:23:12,340 --> 00:23:13,939
with, with the students, right?

485
00:23:13,939 --> 00:23:18,749
I, like, I didn't care about the
subject matter at all whatsoever.

486
00:23:19,060 --> 00:23:20,619
Um, I could read, I could write.

487
00:23:20,619 --> 00:23:21,469
That's why I chose it.

488
00:23:21,509 --> 00:23:23,839
And I had a minor in education.

489
00:23:23,839 --> 00:23:27,250
And so again, I like teaching,
but I didn't want to teach that.

490
00:23:27,250 --> 00:23:33,150
Um, And so I had fallen in love with
strength and conditioning over the

491
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:38,229
previous four years as my random roommate
freshman year was like a four time

492
00:23:38,229 --> 00:23:40,049
national junior powerlifting champion.

493
00:23:40,059 --> 00:23:44,080
So I got to school as a little skinny
soccer player and I ended, you know,

494
00:23:44,089 --> 00:23:49,010
with being totally obsessed with
powerlifting and strongman stuff.

495
00:23:49,605 --> 00:23:52,615
That led me to get a job
in the library at school.

496
00:23:52,615 --> 00:23:58,405
That was my part time job so that I could
go, uh, sneak off into the nutrition

497
00:23:58,405 --> 00:24:01,765
journal section and, you know, have access
to all the pub med stuff that I wouldn't

498
00:24:01,765 --> 00:24:03,675
have access to, you know, otherwise.

499
00:24:03,675 --> 00:24:08,654
And so I did a powerlifting competition
in my hometown of Richmond, Virginia,

500
00:24:08,665 --> 00:24:12,865
like three weeks before I graduated,
right after I had made this, Oh, I'm

501
00:24:12,865 --> 00:24:14,534
not applying for master's programs.

502
00:24:14,565 --> 00:24:16,264
Oh, I'm not going to be a history teacher.

503
00:24:16,284 --> 00:24:19,294
Now I have nothing to do, or don't
know what I'm going to do anyway.

504
00:24:19,610 --> 00:24:25,960
Um, right after that decision, I
meet this guy named Jay, Jay DeMaio.

505
00:24:25,980 --> 00:24:28,629
And Jay DeMaio is still at
the university of Richmond.

506
00:24:28,659 --> 00:24:35,750
Um, and he shared with me that they had
an opening that I could or should apply

507
00:24:35,750 --> 00:24:38,629
for, which I did, and I got the job.

508
00:24:38,629 --> 00:24:44,870
So I was a full time intern with the
university of Richmond for over a year.

509
00:24:45,050 --> 00:24:47,050
Uh, I worked with football, men's soccer.

510
00:24:47,585 --> 00:24:49,575
women's soccer, field hockey, lacrosse.

511
00:24:49,835 --> 00:24:56,194
I worked as a personal trainer at
a gym and I worked as a coach at

512
00:24:56,194 --> 00:24:59,725
a youth strength and conditioning
facility here in town as well.

513
00:25:00,185 --> 00:25:05,304
And what I found was as much as I
loved, loved, loved the subject matter,

514
00:25:05,304 --> 00:25:10,085
as much as I loved, um, you know,
being around the team, like traveling

515
00:25:10,085 --> 00:25:13,095
with the football team and sideline
for games, like that was super cool.

516
00:25:13,365 --> 00:25:14,945
Uh, as much as I loved.

517
00:25:15,590 --> 00:25:17,740
imparting that knowledge in that capacity.

518
00:25:17,990 --> 00:25:20,540
I didn't love the lack of flexibility.

519
00:25:20,850 --> 00:25:22,649
I didn't love the lack of income.

520
00:25:22,959 --> 00:25:26,119
And I didn't feel like my greatest
impact in my life was teaching

521
00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:30,280
people how to back squat and,
you know, uh, recording 40 times.

522
00:25:30,540 --> 00:25:31,579
Um, so.

523
00:25:32,410 --> 00:25:38,200
Because of that and those things, I ended
up leaving after about a year to get

524
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:44,040
into financial planning, which I felt was
my opportunity to make my family proud,

525
00:25:44,250 --> 00:25:49,069
put on a suit and tie, get a big boy
job, go to an office, uh, learn a whole

526
00:25:49,069 --> 00:25:52,290
bunch of stuff that I figured would be
valuable and important down the road.

527
00:25:52,705 --> 00:25:57,215
Uh, but most importantly for me at the
time was to gain that flexibility of time

528
00:25:57,215 --> 00:26:00,645
and income and feel like I was making
more of an impact in people's lives.

529
00:26:01,785 --> 00:26:04,715
And frankly, man, I didn't think I
was ever going to leave that career.

530
00:26:04,775 --> 00:26:09,784
I had planned on doing that for 30
years and retiring and being done, you

531
00:26:09,784 --> 00:26:13,465
know, as it turns out, I was in for
about six and a half, close to seven.

532
00:26:13,515 --> 00:26:20,910
And, uh, I, I knew probably four
years in five years in that I was

533
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,890
starting to get the rumblings of like,
uh, I don't really know about this.

534
00:26:24,170 --> 00:26:26,780
Um, I was working my butt off.

535
00:26:26,820 --> 00:26:29,909
I was grinding and this is
my early to mid twenties.

536
00:26:29,909 --> 00:26:31,669
So it's kind of what
you're supposed to do.

537
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:32,259
Quote unquote.

538
00:26:32,609 --> 00:26:37,409
But I, I, Was burning the candle
at both ends, you know, 6 a.

539
00:26:37,409 --> 00:26:37,710
m.

540
00:26:37,710 --> 00:26:38,520
to 8 p.

541
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:38,780
m.

542
00:26:38,780 --> 00:26:42,379
And then networking afterwards and
then back and, you know, back and

543
00:26:42,379 --> 00:26:44,839
forth again, working on weekends,
whole nine yards, trying to build

544
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:46,139
a network, build a business.

545
00:26:46,540 --> 00:26:50,759
And, uh, again, I kind of got the
rumblings of, I don't really love this.

546
00:26:51,299 --> 00:26:54,080
So I started a.

547
00:26:54,780 --> 00:27:00,279
a side business writing workout programs
for folks and for, you know, doing some

548
00:27:00,279 --> 00:27:04,400
nutritional coaching for folks and got
that up to the point where I was like, Oh,

549
00:27:04,459 --> 00:27:08,400
I wonder if I were to do this full time,
you know, obviously would exponentially

550
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:10,789
grow, you know, obviously, right.

551
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:13,590
Uh, translation, it didn't.

552
00:27:13,830 --> 00:27:19,670
And I had this, where I had my first,
first major health scare of my life.

553
00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:23,980
Uh, now I've like broken my wrists
and collarbone and had ankle

554
00:27:23,980 --> 00:27:27,250
stuff going and had concussions,
but I got bit by a spider.

555
00:27:27,550 --> 00:27:32,309
I got bit by a spider and that sent
me into the hospital, uh, for like

556
00:27:32,309 --> 00:27:35,490
three days and yeah, it was a bummer.

557
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:42,450
Um, and the, the kicker with this was,
you know, I would never was going to die.

558
00:27:42,764 --> 00:27:42,935
Right.

559
00:27:42,945 --> 00:27:44,195
They just were trying to figure it out.

560
00:27:44,225 --> 00:27:48,815
They get the infection down and
Saturday night turned to Sunday.

561
00:27:49,245 --> 00:27:52,905
It's now my third day in and I'm
supposed to be released Sunday afternoon.

562
00:27:53,195 --> 00:27:54,024
And it's like 1 a.

563
00:27:54,024 --> 00:27:54,435
m.

564
00:27:55,555 --> 00:27:58,344
Sunday morning and I'm like hooked
up to all these machines and,

565
00:27:58,354 --> 00:28:01,675
you know, like, et cetera, et
cetera, as one is in the hospital.

566
00:28:01,725 --> 00:28:06,465
And I had the thought
of, uh, today's Sunday.

567
00:28:07,370 --> 00:28:08,720
That means tomorrow's Monday.

568
00:28:09,510 --> 00:28:10,870
That means I have to go back to work.

569
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:13,380
Maybe I'll just stay here another day.

570
00:28:14,030 --> 00:28:18,409
And it was like, pssst, lightning
bolt to the head of, dude, you want

571
00:28:18,409 --> 00:28:22,529
to stay in a hospital bed rather
than go back to your own firm?

572
00:28:22,529 --> 00:28:23,799
It's not like I had a boss.

573
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,420
It's not like I had, like, had to go back.

574
00:28:28,090 --> 00:28:31,400
I laid in that hospital bed
for the next couple hours.

575
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,780
I think I eventually got some
sleep, but I fast forwarded.

576
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:39,320
you know, the 25 30 years and looked at my
life and like kind of played it all out.

577
00:28:39,340 --> 00:28:43,080
And I came to the realization and
the conclusion that if I stayed

578
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,680
and did this job, I would have a
B minus to be plus life at best.

579
00:28:47,410 --> 00:28:49,150
You know, like, okay, I'll retire early.

580
00:28:49,150 --> 00:28:49,480
Okay.

581
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:50,470
I have some money.

582
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,670
Like, you know, but I, like,
it's not what I want to do.

583
00:28:53,670 --> 00:28:57,130
It's not how I want to be
spending the majority of my time.

584
00:28:57,429 --> 00:28:57,709
Okay.

585
00:28:57,710 --> 00:29:01,329
The majority of my life
doing this is not it.

586
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:05,709
And so I wish I could say I put in
my two weeks ended up being put in

587
00:29:05,709 --> 00:29:10,100
my like three months, cause I had to
wind some things down and, uh, Got

588
00:29:10,100 --> 00:29:13,270
back into coaching the thing that I
knew, which was fitness and health.

589
00:29:13,300 --> 00:29:18,420
And I had a outdoor workout program here
and did group community workouts and

590
00:29:18,420 --> 00:29:19,770
connected with the Richmond community.

591
00:29:19,770 --> 00:29:20,549
We had an app.

592
00:29:20,909 --> 00:29:22,359
I did a bunch of talks everywhere.

593
00:29:22,620 --> 00:29:24,540
Um, it was really cool.

594
00:29:24,670 --> 00:29:26,050
And it didn't work.

595
00:29:26,059 --> 00:29:29,335
It didn't make, nearly the money
that I needed to make to do

596
00:29:29,335 --> 00:29:30,515
the things that I needed to do.

597
00:29:30,545 --> 00:29:35,184
And, um, I learned a ton of
lessons about entrepreneurship in

598
00:29:35,185 --> 00:29:37,655
that, in that collective failure.

599
00:29:38,025 --> 00:29:44,504
And I, uh, ended up moving to Mexico
to, for a couple of reasons, mainly to

600
00:29:44,524 --> 00:29:48,544
open a health and wellness retreat, but
also because I figured that the cost of

601
00:29:48,544 --> 00:29:49,895
living would be way cheaper down there.

602
00:29:50,804 --> 00:29:53,659
And I might have a better chance
of, Pulling this thing off.

603
00:29:53,669 --> 00:29:55,559
If I was, you know, paying 1.

604
00:29:55,559 --> 00:29:56,380
50 for tacos instead of 9.

605
00:29:56,380 --> 00:29:57,820
50, you know, where I was.

606
00:29:57,820 --> 00:30:03,565
And so, um, I partnered with
an old business partner of mine

607
00:30:03,565 --> 00:30:07,235
and we moved six hours south of
Cancun in the Yucatan Peninsula.

608
00:30:07,575 --> 00:30:11,655
Uh, we're just north of Belize, this
tiny little town of 1500 people.

609
00:30:12,015 --> 00:30:19,155
And we found an amazing opportunity to put
a down payment on a, on a big compound.

610
00:30:19,155 --> 00:30:22,335
It's like seven, eight rooms
and a big open covered space.

611
00:30:22,335 --> 00:30:26,195
And, you know, I'm playing
barefoot soccer with the Ninos.

612
00:30:26,205 --> 00:30:28,615
I'm learning like five
Spanish words a day.

613
00:30:28,615 --> 00:30:30,045
I'm drinking coconut out of trees.

614
00:30:30,045 --> 00:30:30,965
Everything's awesome.

615
00:30:31,300 --> 00:30:36,219
The only issue with all this is we moved
down to Mexico on March 2nd of 2020.

616
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:43,290
And timing wise, that was as poor as
it gets as three weeks later, all the

617
00:30:43,290 --> 00:30:50,020
borders are shut the world's, you know,
freaking out, uh, regardless of how that

618
00:30:50,020 --> 00:30:54,810
ended up and thoughts about the entire
world situation over the past four years

619
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:59,710
at the time, given the information we
had, we made the right and tough decision

620
00:30:59,710 --> 00:31:02,560
to bail and come back to the States.

621
00:31:03,620 --> 00:31:07,600
Because we just didn't know what we didn't
know and I think at the very beginning of

622
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:12,040
all that there was a lot of unknowns and
a lot of scary stuff and I was learning

623
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:17,540
Spanish not not fluent in Spanish and
I wouldn't know whether you know people

624
00:31:17,540 --> 00:31:21,900
are On on my side in my corner or not.

625
00:31:22,060 --> 00:31:25,930
And so I was like, all right We should
we should get out of here So I came

626
00:31:25,930 --> 00:31:30,660
back and I lived in that guy's walk in
closet for about a month And I ended

627
00:31:30,660 --> 00:31:35,300
up working for him and his dorm room
furniture removal business, which was

628
00:31:35,980 --> 00:31:41,790
scrubbing moldy refrigerators in a, you
know, 100 degree steel warehouse for 3.

629
00:31:41,790 --> 00:31:42,360
A fridge.

630
00:31:42,380 --> 00:31:47,615
And you know, my, Next come to Jesus
moment was when he asked if I wanted

631
00:31:47,625 --> 00:31:49,095
to learn how to drive the forklift.

632
00:31:49,755 --> 00:31:52,655
And buddy, I did not want to
learn how to drive the forklift.

633
00:31:52,675 --> 00:31:57,035
Uh, that is not how I projected
forward how I wanted to spend my time.

634
00:31:57,035 --> 00:32:02,635
And so I connected with an old mentor
of mine in the coaching industry and he

635
00:32:02,995 --> 00:32:07,765
helped me personally first, you know, get
wrapped my head around this loss of this

636
00:32:07,765 --> 00:32:09,385
dream that I had had for a long time.

637
00:32:09,405 --> 00:32:13,675
And I saw how effective it was in
such a short period of time that I.

638
00:32:14,065 --> 00:32:19,345
Wanted to learn more about it
and, um, ended up once I, I did

639
00:32:19,555 --> 00:32:21,515
learn more about story work.

640
00:32:21,575 --> 00:32:25,405
I made a pretty quick commitment to
like, all right, I'm going to do this.

641
00:32:25,545 --> 00:32:27,495
I'm going to give this a real solid go.

642
00:32:27,535 --> 00:32:31,295
I'm going to do a thousand sessions,
professional, professional sessions.

643
00:32:31,690 --> 00:32:34,910
And, uh, today, four years later,
three and a half, four years

644
00:32:34,910 --> 00:32:38,040
later, I'm up to 1150, right?

645
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:40,290
So I've met and surpassed that goal.

646
00:32:40,310 --> 00:32:42,339
My next goal is 10, 000, right?

647
00:32:42,340 --> 00:32:46,000
Uh, which is cool to have like
a 25 year goal, also a little

648
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,410
daunting, but still very cool.

649
00:32:47,750 --> 00:32:54,250
And, uh, I pretty much knew from
the first time that I saw this work

650
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:56,960
that this is going to be it for me.

651
00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:00,985
Like, this is, not only fulfilling,
but it's incredibly impactful.

652
00:33:00,985 --> 00:33:03,685
And I saw it as the through
line between everything else.

653
00:33:04,005 --> 00:33:08,295
So I like to say that looking
backwards, we can, uh, collect the

654
00:33:08,295 --> 00:33:10,035
dots before we connect the dots.

655
00:33:10,065 --> 00:33:13,415
And once I've collected all my dots,
I can see how this led to that.

656
00:33:13,415 --> 00:33:16,055
And that led to this and this, Oh,
that's why I had to go down that

657
00:33:16,055 --> 00:33:17,854
path and you know, yada, yada, yada.

658
00:33:17,855 --> 00:33:21,705
And I, I do have quite the collection of.

659
00:33:22,190 --> 00:33:26,430
Uh, career skills to get me to this point.

660
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:32,770
That's quite a journey
and timing just that sad.

661
00:33:32,900 --> 00:33:34,880
I'm a personal trainer.

662
00:33:35,030 --> 00:33:40,480
Uh, I can attest that if you're not in
the right place, it's a really bad living.

663
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:47,340
Uh, and as much as I love that industry,
just, Yeah, you're not in the right place.

664
00:33:47,910 --> 00:33:48,710
It's bad.

665
00:33:49,030 --> 00:33:52,500
Yeah, it sounded like you guys thought
that would have been cool total fitness

666
00:33:52,500 --> 00:33:57,750
retreat center There's an ulterior
universe where I am about 19 shades

667
00:33:57,750 --> 00:34:02,900
darker 100 percent fluid in Spanish
I got 12 dogs running around and we

668
00:34:02,900 --> 00:34:05,760
are rocking and rolling on the lagoon.

669
00:34:05,910 --> 00:34:09,150
But you know, that is
not This current reality.

670
00:34:09,150 --> 00:34:10,510
And that is perfectly okay.

671
00:34:10,750 --> 00:34:14,640
That has led me to many of my
greatest, um, things in my life.

672
00:34:14,720 --> 00:34:15,060
So.

673
00:34:15,950 --> 00:34:22,630
So you fell in love with story work
because your friend helped you first here.

674
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,700
Here's the big question
that everybody's got now.

675
00:34:26,770 --> 00:34:28,400
What is story work?

676
00:34:29,530 --> 00:34:34,120
Because you and I started talking, I'm
like, I think I've heard the term once,

677
00:34:35,620 --> 00:34:40,850
but I, I sure as was like, I'm curious.

678
00:34:40,850 --> 00:34:42,840
I don't understand it at all.

679
00:34:42,850 --> 00:34:43,330
So.

680
00:34:43,970 --> 00:34:45,230
What is story work?

681
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:51,190
So, shocker, we all use words
when we speak, when we think,

682
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:52,580
when we write, when we read.

683
00:34:53,220 --> 00:35:00,400
Words are the foundation of our culture
and in my argument and in the way I

684
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:03,660
like to talk about it's the foundation
of our perception of reality, right?

685
00:35:03,660 --> 00:35:08,945
Because words create stories aka belief
systems And those belief systems, how

686
00:35:08,945 --> 00:35:13,085
you see the world, how you see your past
experiences, your present day life, your

687
00:35:13,085 --> 00:35:18,675
future experiences is going to, again,
dictate your actual lived life experience.

688
00:35:18,705 --> 00:35:23,345
And so story work is the process
of becoming aware of speech

689
00:35:23,345 --> 00:35:27,495
patterns and the stories we
tell ourselves, aka our beliefs.

690
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:35,250
And, uh, taking them from our heads and
putting them on to a page, or in my case,

691
00:35:35,260 --> 00:35:39,160
professionally, 99 percent of my work is
done remote via zoom and a Google doc.

692
00:35:39,390 --> 00:35:43,680
So when I say write something down, I
most likely mean type it out, right?

693
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:47,420
But you can grab a pen and write it down
just as easily, easily as you could pull

694
00:35:47,420 --> 00:35:49,500
up a new Google doc and type it out.

695
00:35:50,510 --> 00:35:52,500
But StoryWorks taking our thoughts.

696
00:35:53,495 --> 00:35:58,025
specifically as it relates to
past experiences that maybe were

697
00:35:58,035 --> 00:36:01,135
hurtful or traumatic or haunting.

698
00:36:01,515 --> 00:36:04,925
We're taking our thoughts as it
relates to our current day experience

699
00:36:04,935 --> 00:36:09,395
where, you know, we're stuck or we
have imposter syndrome or we just

700
00:36:09,395 --> 00:36:14,165
feel like, ugh, or, um, maybe there's
an inner critic or an inner bully

701
00:36:14,165 --> 00:36:17,645
that's really, really loud and mean.

702
00:36:18,035 --> 00:36:25,410
Um, once we get those Words onto paper or
onto the screen, then we slowly start to

703
00:36:25,410 --> 00:36:30,050
downshift ourselves from the fight, flight
or freeze sympathetic nervous system

704
00:36:30,050 --> 00:36:33,920
response state that we're in because we're
thinking and saying those things into the

705
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:42,960
rest and relax, feed and breed
parasympathetic nervous system response

706
00:36:42,970 --> 00:36:47,555
state, and it's in that state where,
which is the opposite of Fight or flight.

707
00:36:47,725 --> 00:36:49,105
The opposite of stress.

708
00:36:49,525 --> 00:36:53,685
It's in the calm state where we
can store our memories, process our

709
00:36:53,685 --> 00:36:57,125
emotions, heal ourself, heal ourselves.

710
00:36:57,415 --> 00:37:01,305
And once we do that, we can look
forward with great clarity as

711
00:37:01,305 --> 00:37:06,545
opposed to through opaque and dirty
windows and actually architect

712
00:37:06,545 --> 00:37:07,995
the reality we want for ourselves.

713
00:37:08,265 --> 00:37:12,435
So story work is a process and a
methodology to help us deal with

714
00:37:12,435 --> 00:37:16,425
the stuff that we don't like about
our past, present, and get really,

715
00:37:16,425 --> 00:37:17,855
really clear about the future.

716
00:37:19,835 --> 00:37:23,965
What is people's common reaction when
they're first introduced to this idea?

717
00:37:24,455 --> 00:37:26,235
Like I said, I, I, I had no idea.

718
00:37:26,235 --> 00:37:30,005
I'm like, I'm not even sure what that
is, but yeah, let's talk about it.

719
00:37:31,295 --> 00:37:33,585
Most people think I have
something to do with copywriting.

720
00:37:33,905 --> 00:37:37,615
Um, or, you know, I'm like make
videos for people or like help people

721
00:37:37,615 --> 00:37:39,269
write books or something like that.

722
00:37:39,470 --> 00:37:41,040
Uh, that is not accurate.

723
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:41,940
None of those are accurate.

724
00:37:42,210 --> 00:37:49,450
Um, a lot of people compare it to therapy,
which is, uh, partially in an honor and

725
00:37:49,450 --> 00:37:51,900
partially like, no, no, not that at all.

726
00:37:52,110 --> 00:37:53,910
Um, it is therapeutic.

727
00:37:54,210 --> 00:37:55,320
It is certainly not therapy.

728
00:37:55,690 --> 00:37:57,090
Therapy has helped a lot of folks.

729
00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:00,420
I am a big advocate for talking
about the things that are bothering

730
00:38:00,420 --> 00:38:03,410
you and sharing and expressing
your emotions, especially as men.

731
00:38:03,410 --> 00:38:06,150
We don't often do that as
much as we should or could.

732
00:38:06,150 --> 00:38:12,760
Um, And therapy often has, uh, lacks
resolution and has people just like

733
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:14,420
talking in circles and drama bonding.

734
00:38:14,540 --> 00:38:18,460
And so, um, that goes way
beyond that story work does.

735
00:38:19,530 --> 00:38:24,150
We get to resolutions very
quickly, very effectively.

736
00:38:24,170 --> 00:38:30,380
And, um, like it's not a 60 percent
of the time it works every time.

737
00:38:30,380 --> 00:38:33,850
It's like a, every time it works
every time type type situation.

738
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:39,960
So I'm glad you answered that because
I was going to relate it to therapy.

739
00:38:39,970 --> 00:38:40,460
Sorry.

740
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:41,600
That's okay.

741
00:38:42,110 --> 00:38:47,150
So looking into you and researching
what you do a little bit.

742
00:38:48,175 --> 00:38:52,465
What kind of things can this help people
process because you mentioned that

743
00:38:52,495 --> 00:38:56,985
inner critic I've done entire shows
about our negative self talk is for men.

744
00:38:56,985 --> 00:39:01,835
That's a really really harsh issue
Most men struggle with that, but

745
00:39:01,835 --> 00:39:07,620
I saw like you doing anxiety and
stress What, what can this do?

746
00:39:07,620 --> 00:39:09,900
What kind of things can this
help people work through?

747
00:39:10,650 --> 00:39:11,530
Yeah, great question.

748
00:39:11,550 --> 00:39:13,890
Um, you know, let's start with
the negative self talk piece.

749
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:17,990
If you're watching this via video, I've
got a really cool representation of

750
00:39:17,990 --> 00:39:19,820
the light wolf, dark wolf behind me.

751
00:39:20,220 --> 00:39:24,550
And that's an old native American tale
where, you know, there's a battle between

752
00:39:24,770 --> 00:39:28,410
the light wolf and the dark wolf that's
been waged inside every single one of

753
00:39:28,410 --> 00:39:30,020
us since the very beginning of time.

754
00:39:30,090 --> 00:39:32,660
And the dark wolf manifests itself as.

755
00:39:33,145 --> 00:39:38,095
evil and fear and envy and jealousy
and hatred and sadness and etc.

756
00:39:38,125 --> 00:39:42,435
The light wolf manifests itself as
love and joy and peace and kindness and

757
00:39:42,465 --> 00:39:44,865
altruism and happiness and etc, etc.

758
00:39:45,335 --> 00:39:47,605
And somebody asks, which one wins?

759
00:39:48,365 --> 00:39:51,425
And the answer is the one
you feed the one you feed.

760
00:39:51,755 --> 00:39:57,580
And ultimately, many people are feeding
their dark wolf with The negative

761
00:39:57,960 --> 00:39:59,760
inner critic, the negative self talk.

762
00:40:00,110 --> 00:40:05,260
And one of the very first things I
do with a lot of folks coaching wise

763
00:40:05,300 --> 00:40:11,550
is we name the dark wall and we get
verbatim on paper on the worst days.

764
00:40:12,230 --> 00:40:13,010
What does he say?

765
00:40:13,420 --> 00:40:17,070
So, first of all, that's really important
for people because they're disassociating

766
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:19,300
that negative voice from them.

767
00:40:19,770 --> 00:40:23,070
You know, the self with a capital
S or the soul with a capital

768
00:40:23,070 --> 00:40:24,580
S it's something different.

769
00:40:24,930 --> 00:40:26,990
It's typically something
learned from the outside.

770
00:40:27,310 --> 00:40:29,570
And most oftentimes it's not accurate.

771
00:40:30,020 --> 00:40:31,520
Even though it's very mean, right?

772
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:37,140
And then once we can see that, once we
can downshift a bit into that state,

773
00:40:37,170 --> 00:40:40,680
as it relates to that thing on the
screen that, you know, was repeating

774
00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:43,660
in your head over and over and over
again, and causing a negative feedback

775
00:40:43,660 --> 00:40:45,550
loop or causing a shame spiral, right?

776
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:49,700
Once we create that space and that
distance, then we're able to name

777
00:40:49,700 --> 00:40:54,460
your light wolf and translate it, not
English to French or French to Italian,

778
00:40:54,460 --> 00:40:57,020
but, you know, change the words.

779
00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:02,050
for two words that can help uplift
and inspire and again, architect

780
00:41:02,050 --> 00:41:03,480
the reality we want for ourselves.

781
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:09,130
And so self talks, huge imposter
syndromes, huge identity work is huge.

782
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,220
How you define yourself, right?

783
00:41:11,490 --> 00:41:18,270
Um, the crux of this work is in working
through past experiences, right?

784
00:41:18,270 --> 00:41:24,885
So, um, I like to say stuck,
hurt, haunted, we'll add

785
00:41:24,885 --> 00:41:25,975
traumatic in there as well.

786
00:41:25,985 --> 00:41:29,855
Stuck is more kind of present day, but
it's, it's decisions, you know, should

787
00:41:29,855 --> 00:41:35,355
I stay or should I go, uh, transitions
from a, a work or relationship or just

788
00:41:35,355 --> 00:41:39,905
like general feelings of apathy or
like the wheels aren't turning, man.

789
00:41:39,915 --> 00:41:42,165
Like you were just in the
sand, stuff's not working.

790
00:41:42,165 --> 00:41:43,035
I don't know what to do.

791
00:41:43,185 --> 00:41:43,865
That's stuck.

792
00:41:44,775 --> 00:41:45,265
Hurt.

793
00:41:45,495 --> 00:41:47,895
We've all experienced hurt in our past.

794
00:41:48,590 --> 00:41:53,900
All of us, something somebody said,
something somebody did or did not do,

795
00:41:54,250 --> 00:41:58,140
this could have been last week, could have
been when you were seven years old, uh,

796
00:41:58,150 --> 00:42:04,870
it was a breakup, this is loss, this is
grief, this is disappointment, etc, etc.

797
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:07,170
Alright, everyone has experienced hurt.

798
00:42:08,270 --> 00:42:12,010
Some people have even experienced
haunted, we're talking Hollywood,

799
00:42:12,010 --> 00:42:14,870
this is the stuff that the horror
movies are made out of, right?

800
00:42:15,110 --> 00:42:17,070
Um, you know, assaults.

801
00:42:18,135 --> 00:42:23,335
murders, you know, my first story
ever was a kidnapping story.

802
00:42:23,715 --> 00:42:27,575
Uh, I've, my third or fourth story
I ever worked was the guy was

803
00:42:27,575 --> 00:42:29,865
a 50 Cal gunner in Iraq, right?

804
00:42:29,865 --> 00:42:34,575
Like a lot of heavy stuff that people
have been through in their past and

805
00:42:35,115 --> 00:42:39,155
traumatic experiences are defined
as experiences that actually cause

806
00:42:39,155 --> 00:42:40,455
physiological changes in the brain.

807
00:42:40,875 --> 00:42:44,475
So it makes the brain more susceptible to
going into that fight, flight, or freeze

808
00:42:44,615 --> 00:42:46,625
to protect from that experience again.

809
00:42:46,985 --> 00:42:49,985
And again, most of us have experienced
traumatic experiences in our life too.

810
00:42:50,435 --> 00:42:56,365
And so what all of that
does is it creates dis ease.

811
00:42:56,755 --> 00:43:02,405
Not necessarily disease, but it creates
dis ease in our bodies when we think

812
00:43:02,415 --> 00:43:06,115
about that thing, or if we're triggered
by something in and around that thing.

813
00:43:06,455 --> 00:43:10,725
Or if we hear a song that, you know,
so and so used to love and now so and

814
00:43:10,725 --> 00:43:12,435
so broke our heart or passed away.

815
00:43:12,435 --> 00:43:15,615
And now it's just like, uh,
hits us super, super hard.

816
00:43:15,905 --> 00:43:16,455
And so.

817
00:43:16,895 --> 00:43:22,655
Story where it can help get those
emotions up and out and get that negative

818
00:43:22,665 --> 00:43:26,465
energy, you know, I'm trying to keep
it as, as unwoo as I can, you know,

819
00:43:26,465 --> 00:43:29,145
but get the, get, yeah, you're welcome.

820
00:43:29,335 --> 00:43:33,045
Get, get the stuck suck out so that.

821
00:43:33,300 --> 00:43:35,520
You know, when you think about
that thing right before you go to

822
00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:38,950
bed, you can actually process it
and your brain and body actually,

823
00:43:39,140 --> 00:43:41,510
again, heal from those experiences.

824
00:43:41,790 --> 00:43:48,090
And so, it allows people to work
through the stuff that they would

825
00:43:48,100 --> 00:43:49,530
have rather not gone through.

826
00:43:49,590 --> 00:43:52,940
And we obviously can't go back in
time and change things, but we sure

827
00:43:52,940 --> 00:43:56,360
as heck can change our perception to
the things that we've experienced.

828
00:43:56,610 --> 00:44:00,695
And once we take something out of
our head, And put it onto the paper.

829
00:44:01,545 --> 00:44:09,235
Um, we are able to create
distance in space from that story.

830
00:44:09,235 --> 00:44:12,775
So now we're not in the story
experience, experiencing it

831
00:44:12,775 --> 00:44:13,855
over and over and over again.

832
00:44:13,855 --> 00:44:18,555
Now we're observing the story in the
movie theater, eating popcorn and

833
00:44:18,555 --> 00:44:20,725
drinking soda pop and watching it happen.

834
00:44:21,005 --> 00:44:22,565
And that's an entirely
different experience.

835
00:44:24,655 --> 00:44:30,825
So what makes your coaching unique as
opposed to all the other coaches out

836
00:44:30,825 --> 00:44:31,995
there who are trying to help people?

837
00:44:32,470 --> 00:44:36,860
I've worked with a couple amazing coaches
who deal with trauma and stuff like that.

838
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:39,210
What makes this unique?

839
00:44:41,710 --> 00:44:44,640
There's an ongoing 30 plus
year study at Harvard.

840
00:44:45,140 --> 00:44:50,840
Uh, I'll let you guess how many,
what percentage of the U S population

841
00:44:52,150 --> 00:44:53,740
has written down their goals?

842
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:56,150
Ooh, less than 8%.

843
00:44:56,150 --> 00:45:01,630
It's three, 3 percent of
people have written goals.

844
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:07,930
You want to take a guess at how more
likely someone is to accomplish their goal

845
00:45:07,930 --> 00:45:09,500
if they have it written down versus not?

846
00:45:10,410 --> 00:45:12,450
64 percent if I remember right.

847
00:45:12,650 --> 00:45:13,400
It's 10x.

848
00:45:14,890 --> 00:45:15,310
10x.

849
00:45:15,980 --> 00:45:19,030
It's 1000 percent more likely
to accomplish their goals.

850
00:45:20,020 --> 00:45:25,830
And, uh, I would reckon to say
that less than 1 percent of people

851
00:45:25,830 --> 00:45:26,990
have written down their fears.

852
00:45:27,780 --> 00:45:31,120
Less than that have written
down the really terrible things

853
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:31,760
that have happened to them.

854
00:45:31,925 --> 00:45:34,245
A lot of people journal, and that's cool.

855
00:45:34,255 --> 00:45:35,715
A lot of people meditate, that's cool.

856
00:45:35,715 --> 00:45:37,275
A lot of people do
breath work, that's cool.

857
00:45:37,325 --> 00:45:40,575
A lot of people talk about the
stuff that they've experienced and

858
00:45:40,585 --> 00:45:43,695
ask for help and, you know, share
their feelings, and that's cool.

859
00:45:43,935 --> 00:45:46,055
And I think more people
could do all those things.

860
00:45:46,275 --> 00:45:52,305
What makes story work unique is the fact
that, uh, once we get something out of

861
00:45:52,305 --> 00:45:56,260
our head and onto the page, Great, that's
step one, stories titled and written out.

862
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:58,230
Step two is now we read it out loud.

863
00:45:58,570 --> 00:45:59,860
Nobody reads their journals out loud.

864
00:46:00,290 --> 00:46:04,490
It's totally different when you
hear the thing that you're reading,

865
00:46:05,070 --> 00:46:09,520
uh, then we downshift even further
and we slow down the pace of

866
00:46:09,520 --> 00:46:11,810
speech as we're reading this thing.

867
00:46:12,085 --> 00:46:16,945
And each time we're accessing a new
layer and a new level of understanding

868
00:46:16,955 --> 00:46:20,955
about the situation and we're also
actualizing it with ourself because

869
00:46:20,955 --> 00:46:23,725
now it's another rep and another
rep and another rep of this thing.

870
00:46:24,245 --> 00:46:30,785
Um, and then we add in rhythmic breathing,
rhythmic downshifting breath to the

871
00:46:30,785 --> 00:46:34,845
equation where on every punctuation
point, we'll add in one of these.

872
00:46:41,415 --> 00:46:43,715
So what happens if I breathe
like that for the next minute?

873
00:46:44,180 --> 00:46:48,240
I'm going to be chilled out regardless
of what I'm reading, whether I'm

874
00:46:48,240 --> 00:46:50,190
watching a horror film or not, right?

875
00:46:50,230 --> 00:46:54,420
And so, again, instead of just talking
about something, now we're actually

876
00:46:54,420 --> 00:46:59,950
pulling ourselves into that rest and relax
state where physiologically we can deal

877
00:46:59,950 --> 00:47:02,580
with it way, way, way, way, way better.

878
00:47:02,840 --> 00:47:05,330
And then we go in and change the words.

879
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:07,730
Sometimes, right?

880
00:47:07,730 --> 00:47:09,890
We change the word from this to that.

881
00:47:09,900 --> 00:47:12,190
We make the link between this and that.

882
00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:16,140
We go in and find accuracy or
inaccuracies in the speech.

883
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:22,560
So I think the methodology, take out the
I think, the methodology is the key here.

884
00:47:23,010 --> 00:47:27,780
And then for me personally, I don't
know whether it was I grew up with

885
00:47:27,990 --> 00:47:35,220
two little sisters or had probably
10, 000 interpersonal relationship

886
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:39,000
interactions with people over the
course of my career, given multiple

887
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:42,640
different careers, very good at
reading people, very good at reading

888
00:47:42,650 --> 00:47:44,410
energy and very good at holding space.

889
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:47,240
Most importantly, I'm very good
at shooting people straight.

890
00:47:47,705 --> 00:47:51,865
And shutting up when I need to shut
up and it ain't going anywhere.

891
00:47:51,925 --> 00:47:55,065
I don't share anything with
anybody and people sessions.

892
00:47:55,065 --> 00:47:59,545
And so I'm very good at creating
that, that, uh, set and setting,

893
00:47:59,565 --> 00:48:03,395
so to speak, to allow people to get
into their, get into their stuff.

894
00:48:03,795 --> 00:48:06,295
And I always got their back coming out.

895
00:48:06,535 --> 00:48:09,515
And so I think that's what
makes my coaching very unique.

896
00:48:09,855 --> 00:48:13,155
Is not only the methodology, but you
know, as we talked about in the very

897
00:48:13,155 --> 00:48:14,775
beginning, like this is why I'm here, bro.

898
00:48:14,915 --> 00:48:18,205
Like, like I work stories,
you know, and, and I love it.

899
00:48:18,225 --> 00:48:19,455
I'm going to keep doing it forever.

900
00:48:19,735 --> 00:48:21,690
And I'm really good at it.

901
00:48:21,720 --> 00:48:30,260
And it helps people to, to pretty
instantly feel way different about the

902
00:48:30,260 --> 00:48:32,140
thing that was really bothering them.

903
00:48:34,070 --> 00:48:34,460
All right.

904
00:48:35,910 --> 00:48:39,800
Now guys, we've been discussing
Dave's story, what story work is,

905
00:48:39,810 --> 00:48:43,610
how it helps people, how it affects
people in the next part of the show.

906
00:48:44,145 --> 00:48:46,335
We're going to do something we've
never done on the show before.

907
00:48:46,335 --> 00:48:49,745
We're going to take a totally different
approach to how this can apply to you, how

908
00:48:49,745 --> 00:48:51,565
you can effectively use this in your life.

909
00:48:52,105 --> 00:48:55,585
Instead of me trying to tell you
a lot about this or just list off

910
00:48:55,585 --> 00:48:59,205
things, Dave and I are actually
going to go into a coaching session.

911
00:48:59,675 --> 00:49:04,555
Uh, Dave's going to work with me live
on this broadcast and I'm going to

912
00:49:04,555 --> 00:49:06,625
let you just see what this is now.

913
00:49:06,950 --> 00:49:10,650
I'm a little anxious because I have
no idea what's going to happen or

914
00:49:10,650 --> 00:49:11,710
what's going to come out of this.

915
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:14,310
Uh, I have no idea what
we're going to dive into.

916
00:49:14,890 --> 00:49:15,930
We haven't planned this.

917
00:49:15,930 --> 00:49:21,310
We haven't discussed this, but I
want you guys to see what this really

918
00:49:21,310 --> 00:49:25,590
works as what this does and how
this can be effective in your life.

919
00:49:26,590 --> 00:49:30,870
And then after that, we're going to get
into, uh, we'll wrap things out with Dave.

920
00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:33,560
He's got a generous offer for
our first three listeners.

921
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:36,180
I'll tell you all about
that when we come back.

922
00:49:36,965 --> 00:49:39,175
Uh, we're going to roll to our
sponsor and we'll be right back

923
00:49:39,175 --> 00:49:40,225
with more from Dave Robinson.

924
00:49:40,965 --> 00:49:42,825
Struggling to catch quality Z's at night.

925
00:49:43,405 --> 00:49:44,785
It's time to change that narrative.

926
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927
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928
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929
00:49:53,345 --> 00:49:57,045
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930
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931
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932
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935
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936
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937
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938
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939
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940
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941
00:50:27,510 --> 00:50:30,370
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942
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943
00:50:35,275 --> 00:50:37,425
Now let's dive back into the show guys.

944
00:50:37,425 --> 00:50:37,885
Welcome back.

945
00:50:37,895 --> 00:50:41,245
In the last part of the show, we were
discussing a little bit about Dave's

946
00:50:41,245 --> 00:50:44,925
story and background and what story
work actually is and how it affects

947
00:50:44,925 --> 00:50:49,435
people, how it can be used to help you
move to different things in your life.

948
00:50:49,775 --> 00:50:54,105
In this part of the show, we're going
to do something totally different

949
00:50:54,105 --> 00:50:55,205
than we've ever done on the show.

950
00:50:55,525 --> 00:50:57,455
And that's, we're gonna do
a live coaching session.

951
00:50:57,465 --> 00:50:59,605
And I'm willing to let Dave.

952
00:50:59,900 --> 00:51:00,960
Run the con.

953
00:51:01,230 --> 00:51:02,340
We have not discussed this.

954
00:51:02,340 --> 00:51:03,400
We have not planned this.

955
00:51:03,690 --> 00:51:05,360
I really have no idea where this is going.

956
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:09,470
But I wanted you to be able to see
exactly what story work is about and

957
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:13,330
how it can be applied to your life,
how it could possibly benefit you.

958
00:51:13,690 --> 00:51:16,120
And I couldn't think of a
better way to do that than just

959
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:17,320
letting you see it in action.

960
00:51:17,830 --> 00:51:20,960
So Dave, we're in your hands, my man.

961
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:21,570
I appreciate it.

962
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:22,160
All right.

963
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:26,110
So I'm going to start this off with
the same thing that I tell every single

964
00:51:26,110 --> 00:51:28,760
one of my clients at the very, very
first session that I do with them.

965
00:51:28,980 --> 00:51:29,250
All right.

966
00:51:29,270 --> 00:51:29,930
It's three things.

967
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:33,370
One, if we get anything written down.

968
00:51:33,810 --> 00:51:38,210
In this timeframe that we have, it's
a huge win, huge win, taking it from

969
00:51:38,210 --> 00:51:39,560
our heads, putting it on the page.

970
00:51:39,770 --> 00:51:41,310
That's a massive win.

971
00:51:41,870 --> 00:51:45,420
Number two, I'm always going to shoot
you straight as I shared earlier.

972
00:51:45,700 --> 00:51:48,910
And number three, what I usually say is
ain't nobody ever going to hear about it.

973
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:52,600
But with this one, it's going to be the
people who are listening to this podcast,

974
00:51:52,620 --> 00:51:54,330
we'll hear about it and that's it, right?

975
00:51:54,330 --> 00:51:56,650
So it's not everybody, just
the people that hear the show.

976
00:51:56,690 --> 00:51:59,690
So what that means is, you know,
Brent, play at your own level.

977
00:52:00,205 --> 00:52:00,455
Right.

978
00:52:00,505 --> 00:52:04,205
I'm totally okay and prepared with
this being a walk in the park.

979
00:52:04,535 --> 00:52:05,325
I'm totally okay.

980
00:52:05,325 --> 00:52:07,945
I'm prepared for this to be
world war three and four, right.

981
00:52:07,945 --> 00:52:09,325
And anything in between, right.

982
00:52:09,325 --> 00:52:13,765
So play at the level you want to
play at, and we will rock and roll.

983
00:52:14,275 --> 00:52:16,395
Um, to start off.

984
00:52:17,110 --> 00:52:20,640
What would you say your strongest
emotion is right now and

985
00:52:20,640 --> 00:52:22,110
rate it one to ten tens high?

986
00:52:30,250 --> 00:52:36,560
It's between stress and anxiety, I'm not
sure what word that is or what's what's

987
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:43,770
right there But stress and anxiety is
like nine where we're struggling no

988
00:52:43,770 --> 00:52:48,720
right or wrong answers here either with
any of this stuff So now I want you to

989
00:52:48,720 --> 00:52:52,570
take we've got the emotion of stress
and anxiety We've got a scale of how

990
00:52:52,570 --> 00:52:58,180
high it is What does that feel like
physically for you, like sensation wise?

991
00:52:58,190 --> 00:53:01,210
So, you know, maybe there's sensation
in your head, but get out of your

992
00:53:01,210 --> 00:53:03,080
head, so to speak, get into your body.

993
00:53:03,340 --> 00:53:06,690
And tell me sensation wise, what do
you experience when you experience

994
00:53:06,690 --> 00:53:08,510
a 9 out of 10 stress or anxiety?

995
00:53:11,260 --> 00:53:14,950
It's like a weight, like just pressing in.

996
00:53:15,395 --> 00:53:16,545
I just, I'm tired.

997
00:53:17,515 --> 00:53:20,035
It doesn't matter how many
hours I sleep, but I'm tired.

998
00:53:20,035 --> 00:53:24,005
And there's just this constant weight
sitting in my chest and shoulders.

999
00:53:25,325 --> 00:53:27,325
And is that a familiar feeling to you?

1000
00:53:27,325 --> 00:53:29,205
Or is this the first time
you felt that in a long time?

1001
00:53:29,675 --> 00:53:34,025
Uh, This is an ongoing issue
for several months now.

1002
00:53:34,025 --> 00:53:36,235
So it's, it's been there a while.

1003
00:53:37,325 --> 00:53:42,205
Um, I get moments of alleviation from
it, like sitting down with my kids.

1004
00:53:42,205 --> 00:53:44,105
I, my, my daughter's my whole world.

1005
00:53:44,105 --> 00:53:50,275
So sitting down and doing this stuff with
them, it kind of dissipate some, but I,

1006
00:53:50,275 --> 00:53:54,785
I definitely, if I let myself feel it,
it's, it's there and it's just heavy.

1007
00:53:57,395 --> 00:54:01,875
So you mentioned you've got
a, a way to type, right?

1008
00:54:01,915 --> 00:54:03,305
You got a one note in front of you, right?

1009
00:54:04,670 --> 00:54:06,290
Pull that up for me if you would.

1010
00:54:06,350 --> 00:54:08,560
And if you're listening at
home, you could do this as well.

1011
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:12,840
You can answer this exact same question
that I'll ask and we'll set like a,

1012
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,770
you know, one minute timer ish, right?

1013
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:19,240
This will be kind of a top, top of mind.

1014
00:54:19,780 --> 00:54:23,760
The question is what area of
your life Are you feeling the

1015
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:26,310
most stuck in right now and why,

1016
00:54:29,410 --> 00:54:34,350
what area of your life are you feeling
the most stuck in right now and why?

1017
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:51,800
While Brent's writing this out, um,
I encourage you to maybe hit pause on

1018
00:54:51,800 --> 00:54:55,970
the podcast and grab a pen and paper
and answer this question yourself.

1019
00:54:56,120 --> 00:55:02,440
And, um, you've got an opportunity
to move through a couple different

1020
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:06,530
layers of, of this process, even
without a coach sitting in front

1021
00:55:06,530 --> 00:55:07,830
of you and talking directly to you.

1022
00:55:08,180 --> 00:55:11,530
So there's a beautiful concept
that, that I love in my coaching

1023
00:55:11,530 --> 00:55:13,080
called Heal One, Heal All.

1024
00:55:13,540 --> 00:55:15,430
Most of the time it's done one on one.

1025
00:55:15,500 --> 00:55:20,310
And when I do group work, uh, the
really cool thing is you don't even

1026
00:55:20,310 --> 00:55:23,580
necessarily have to raise your hand and
participate in order to get a lot out

1027
00:55:23,580 --> 00:55:27,000
of the group sessions that, that occur
because somebody is going through a

1028
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:31,410
story you can relate to and it can help
you move your emotion as well, listener.

1029
00:55:32,665 --> 00:55:34,135
When you're ready, just let me know.

1030
00:55:35,045 --> 00:55:38,165
Yeah, I know that this one
is an easy question for me.

1031
00:55:38,575 --> 00:55:38,875
Okay.

1032
00:55:38,955 --> 00:55:42,785
Um, stuck is my, just
my financial situation.

1033
00:55:43,905 --> 00:55:50,115
Uh, I took a year off my full time
job, left it to take my podcast and

1034
00:55:50,115 --> 00:55:54,745
my business with the foul man full
time and have not built up enough

1035
00:55:54,745 --> 00:55:57,115
sponsors to financially cover that.

1036
00:55:58,015 --> 00:56:00,555
And so right now we are
financially strapped.

1037
00:56:00,575 --> 00:56:02,695
I've actually spent my
entire life savings.

1038
00:56:03,185 --> 00:56:04,825
working through this for the last year.

1039
00:56:05,745 --> 00:56:10,325
And I've, I've so many guys out
there will be able to identify

1040
00:56:10,485 --> 00:56:11,245
when you're out of work.

1041
00:56:11,335 --> 00:56:14,955
I've applied for so many jobs, jobs.

1042
00:56:14,955 --> 00:56:16,635
I know I'm qualified for jobs.

1043
00:56:16,635 --> 00:56:22,065
I know I'm great at a job cited for
years, have lots of experience at, and

1044
00:56:22,065 --> 00:56:24,065
I just have no job prospects right now.

1045
00:56:24,495 --> 00:56:26,495
Uh, we're ridiculously in debt.

1046
00:56:26,535 --> 00:56:28,805
I've got no income coming in to fix that.

1047
00:56:30,015 --> 00:56:31,225
And so that.

1048
00:56:32,435 --> 00:56:39,405
It just the financial stress of not
knowing how I'm going to pay my bills

1049
00:56:39,425 --> 00:56:45,105
or buy groceries or anything like
that is, is weighty at this point.

1050
00:56:46,285 --> 00:56:46,975
Absolutely.

1051
00:56:47,115 --> 00:56:47,805
Absolutely.

1052
00:56:48,115 --> 00:56:48,895
Uh, I think you're right.

1053
00:56:48,915 --> 00:56:53,685
And that a lot of other men and, and
other folks can identify with that.

1054
00:56:53,685 --> 00:56:56,755
I certainly can identify with
that numerous times in my life.

1055
00:56:57,145 --> 00:57:02,585
Um, how does expressing that feel

1056
00:57:07,325 --> 00:57:08,985
like physically or emotionally?

1057
00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:11,270
and both.

1058
00:57:11,630 --> 00:57:12,040
Okay.

1059
00:57:12,230 --> 00:57:12,840
Uh,

1060
00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:17,830
physically is like a gut punch.

1061
00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:26,300
Like it, it's, it's hard to
swallow because it makes me

1062
00:57:26,300 --> 00:57:28,330
feel very weak and like failure.

1063
00:57:33,460 --> 00:57:35,110
And emotionally, how does that feel?

1064
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:43,195
Uh, that's, I mean, just
emotionally, I just, I feel

1065
00:57:43,205 --> 00:57:46,715
like a failure and it's a total,

1066
00:57:49,895 --> 00:57:54,185
if I let myself sit in that,
uh, I'm very depressed.

1067
00:57:54,955 --> 00:57:58,605
Uh, it's very hard to, it's
starting to affect my sleep.

1068
00:57:58,655 --> 00:58:02,355
Like I'm wanting to sleep longer
because the energy is just not there

1069
00:58:02,945 --> 00:58:07,145
because of the weight of everything
is taking a negative outlook.

1070
00:58:07,345 --> 00:58:07,935
I'm feeling.

1071
00:58:09,525 --> 00:58:10,805
It's hard to say positive.

1072
00:58:13,495 --> 00:58:13,895
Totally.

1073
00:58:16,715 --> 00:58:19,315
Sensation wise, what are you experiencing?

1074
00:58:19,465 --> 00:58:20,845
Is that weight and burden there?

1075
00:58:20,845 --> 00:58:22,205
You said I punched the gut.

1076
00:58:22,515 --> 00:58:23,295
What else is there?

1077
00:58:23,575 --> 00:58:26,495
It's definitely, it's
heavier to talk about it.

1078
00:58:26,675 --> 00:58:27,185
Actually.

1079
00:58:27,515 --> 00:58:30,165
It's like pressing in as we're talking.

1080
00:58:38,515 --> 00:58:40,095
Let's read out what you have again.

1081
00:58:41,205 --> 00:58:44,425
And this time I want you to just slow
down your pace just a little bit.

1082
00:58:45,405 --> 00:58:45,695
Right?

1083
00:58:45,705 --> 00:58:48,975
So reading out exactly what
you wrote down on the page.

1084
00:58:49,595 --> 00:58:53,825
And just slow down your
rate of speech as you do so.

1085
00:58:58,575 --> 00:59:15,225
My financial situation with no income and
no job prospects is just wearing me down.

1086
00:59:17,695 --> 00:59:18,205
Great job.

1087
00:59:20,265 --> 00:59:20,775
Great job.

1088
00:59:23,695 --> 00:59:25,955
Have you been in this situation before?

1089
00:59:28,675 --> 00:59:31,095
Not to this extreme.

1090
00:59:31,665 --> 00:59:36,285
Uh, I've been without work before
for a short period of time, but never

1091
00:59:36,285 --> 00:59:38,820
anything to, uh, Uh, this extreme.

1092
00:59:39,870 --> 00:59:43,730
We've been, we had enough money set
aside to go a certain amount of time.

1093
00:59:44,380 --> 00:59:45,990
I passed that six months ago.

1094
00:59:46,630 --> 00:59:48,890
We are in debt up to our eyeballs.

1095
00:59:48,890 --> 00:59:54,420
We've borrowed money from everybody
we can to try and survive.

1096
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:57,830
I have a household of five
and I'm the sole income.

1097
00:59:59,335 --> 01:00:05,975
Uh, and so it's, it's a new sensation
because my wife and I have been

1098
01:00:05,975 --> 01:00:07,565
through a time where we were jobless.

1099
01:00:08,195 --> 01:00:12,065
But not with my children and my mom
living with us because she lives

1100
01:00:12,065 --> 01:00:17,085
with us, uh, not with this kind
of responsibility and dependence.

1101
01:00:20,525 --> 01:00:23,815
Could you turn this
into a should statement?

1102
01:00:28,885 --> 01:00:31,925
I'm not quite sure how explain.

1103
01:00:33,925 --> 01:00:43,225
Is there a way to answer the or fill in
the blanks from I should dot dot dot what

1104
01:00:43,225 --> 01:00:45,145
comes to mind there when it comes to your.

1105
01:00:46,325 --> 01:00:48,365
the situation you're sharing,
your financial situation.

1106
01:00:50,415 --> 01:00:57,485
I should find a job and I
should have been hired for over

1107
01:00:57,485 --> 01:00:59,325
half the jobs I applied for.

1108
01:00:59,720 --> 01:01:04,790
Just with my experience and
skill sets and so it feels very

1109
01:01:09,610 --> 01:01:10,530
hopeless almost

1110
01:01:13,740 --> 01:01:16,590
I don't understand I'm very
confused about why I'm not finding

1111
01:01:16,590 --> 01:01:18,430
a job with the skill sets I bring

1112
01:01:24,430 --> 01:01:27,010
so stress and anxiety in the
beginning was a nine Out of ten.

1113
01:01:27,450 --> 01:01:27,810
Mm hmm.

1114
01:01:29,690 --> 01:01:32,440
You mentioned the word hopeless, right?

1115
01:01:32,440 --> 01:01:36,720
If you had to put a label on it, you
know your situation or how you feel

1116
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:42,050
right now not that situation But your
current state What would you say?

1117
01:01:48,840 --> 01:01:49,510
Determined.

1118
01:01:50,610 --> 01:01:51,070
Determined.

1119
01:01:56,770 --> 01:01:57,010
Okay.

1120
01:01:57,030 --> 01:01:58,610
So, write this down for me.

1121
01:01:59,470 --> 01:02:01,940
Um, I should find a job.

1122
01:02:08,910 --> 01:02:09,320
Perfect.

1123
01:02:10,330 --> 01:02:11,180
Say that out loud for me.

1124
01:02:13,520 --> 01:02:16,620
I should find a job.

1125
01:02:20,620 --> 01:02:28,150
Most people, when they use the word
should, need to, or have to, experience

1126
01:02:28,150 --> 01:02:30,340
the feelings of external pressure.

1127
01:02:31,320 --> 01:02:35,240
We actually call those categories of
speech, it's, they're in their own

1128
01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:37,420
category, it's called pressure language.

1129
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:43,095
Most people don't like it when they're
Boss tries to tell them what to do or

1130
01:02:43,095 --> 01:02:45,835
their spouse tries to tell them what
to do or their parents try to tell

1131
01:02:45,835 --> 01:02:48,055
them what to do or the government
tries to tell them what to do.

1132
01:02:48,475 --> 01:02:51,195
In fact, most people don't like
it when they themselves try

1133
01:02:51,195 --> 01:02:53,275
to tell themselves what to do.

1134
01:02:53,875 --> 01:02:59,105
And in fact, earlier today, I thought
to myself, I should drink more water.

1135
01:02:59,475 --> 01:03:02,035
And then I instantly thought the
rebel in me was like, you know what?

1136
01:03:02,075 --> 01:03:02,835
Screw you, Dave.

1137
01:03:03,405 --> 01:03:05,905
And like, it's good for me.

1138
01:03:05,915 --> 01:03:07,225
And you know, I'm not going to do that.

1139
01:03:07,225 --> 01:03:08,045
I'm going to go pour another coffee.

1140
01:03:09,475 --> 01:03:15,595
Um, Words can create different feelings
and emotions in the body and there's

1141
01:03:15,605 --> 01:03:17,355
no right or wrong answer for this.

1142
01:03:18,115 --> 01:03:23,065
Take out the word should and write the
word could and then say that out loud.

1143
01:03:30,565 --> 01:03:32,245
I could find a job.

1144
01:03:35,915 --> 01:03:38,245
Any difference physically
for you with that?

1145
01:03:40,965 --> 01:03:45,275
Not a whole lot, but just
having this conversation, the

1146
01:03:45,275 --> 01:03:46,535
weight feels a little less.

1147
01:03:48,385 --> 01:03:52,865
It felt really like I could
feel a difference as we've said

1148
01:03:52,865 --> 01:03:53,985
some of these things out loud.

1149
01:04:00,615 --> 01:04:06,535
Take out the word could and write the word
ham for me and then read that out loud.

1150
01:04:13,075 --> 01:04:15,315
I can find a job.

1151
01:04:19,745 --> 01:04:22,845
Say that again for me and then
add a big breath at the end.

1152
01:04:22,845 --> 01:04:25,925
And what I'm looking for with the
breath is volume in through your nose.

1153
01:04:26,505 --> 01:04:30,535
Big old breath in, And
length out on the exhale.

1154
01:04:30,605 --> 01:04:32,125
So a long exhale out.

1155
01:04:32,125 --> 01:04:32,495
So it'll

1156
01:04:37,515 --> 01:04:44,475
So repeat that third one for me and
then add that breath in I can find a job

1157
01:04:58,725 --> 01:05:01,805
That's yeah that feels
lighter on the chest

1158
01:05:05,420 --> 01:05:07,460
most likely a couple reasons for that.

1159
01:05:08,510 --> 01:05:08,900
Okay.

1160
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:14,290
The first is that the word could brings
us back into the realm of possibility.

1161
01:05:14,840 --> 01:05:22,500
So we go from a lot of pressure to a
land where like, okay, despite recent

1162
01:05:22,570 --> 01:05:27,430
future, you know, past evidence, it
is possible with that rate of speech

1163
01:05:27,460 --> 01:05:29,390
or that type of speech to find a job.

1164
01:05:30,600 --> 01:05:35,940
The word can puts it in the
affirmative while adding to

1165
01:05:35,940 --> 01:05:40,260
the possibility potentially
moving it even into probability.

1166
01:05:43,300 --> 01:05:47,320
The breath helps pull us down into
that state where now we can see things

1167
01:05:47,320 --> 01:05:51,640
just a little bit differently, and feel
things a little bit differently without

1168
01:05:51,660 --> 01:05:55,660
the stress of the should statement.

1169
01:05:58,300 --> 01:06:02,630
So I'm going to have you finish this
sentence and type it or write it

1170
01:06:02,630 --> 01:06:09,155
out, whichever one you did there,
uh, I can find a job because dot,

1171
01:06:09,155 --> 01:06:14,125
dot, dot, and give me three of those.

1172
01:06:14,665 --> 01:06:19,965
I can find a job because option A, I
can find a job because B, and because C.

1173
01:06:42,645 --> 01:06:47,635
And when you're done, add the
word breathe at the end of each

1174
01:06:47,635 --> 01:06:49,625
sentence, just as the reminder.

1175
01:06:50,235 --> 01:06:50,495
Right?

1176
01:06:50,495 --> 01:06:56,175
So, I can find a job because Number
one, add the word breathe at the end.

1177
01:06:56,855 --> 01:06:57,965
I can't find a job.

1178
01:06:58,035 --> 01:06:59,995
Number two, add the
word breathe at the end.

1179
01:07:00,415 --> 01:07:03,795
I can't find a job because number
three, add the word breathe at the end.

1180
01:07:13,335 --> 01:07:17,255
And when you're ready, read that out loud.

1181
01:07:17,295 --> 01:07:20,165
The three options and when
you see that word breathe,

1182
01:07:37,645 --> 01:07:39,465
I can find a job.

1183
01:07:40,235 --> 01:07:42,105
I have a valuable skill set.

1184
01:07:50,170 --> 01:07:51,750
I can find a job.

1185
01:07:52,580 --> 01:07:54,880
I have a lot of experience.

1186
01:08:03,740 --> 01:08:05,350
I can find a job.

1187
01:08:05,910 --> 01:08:09,010
I bring value to other
people and to companies.

1188
01:08:10,020 --> 01:08:10,640
Big breath.

1189
01:08:12,330 --> 01:08:13,140
Big exhale.

1190
01:08:19,340 --> 01:08:21,270
Your shoulders just dropped two inches.

1191
01:08:24,010 --> 01:08:24,720
They were up here.

1192
01:08:25,250 --> 01:08:25,940
Now they're down here.

1193
01:08:28,740 --> 01:08:30,680
What do you notice after
reading that out loud?

1194
01:08:32,030 --> 01:08:37,195
It's The pressure isn't near as
much like my chest doesn't feel

1195
01:08:37,205 --> 01:08:38,815
near as tight or heavy right now.

1196
01:08:43,035 --> 01:08:45,205
I am less likely to break down and cry.

1197
01:08:45,305 --> 01:08:47,345
I was getting real close there.

1198
01:08:48,965 --> 01:08:53,175
Uh, my head feels more clear.

1199
01:08:56,165 --> 01:08:56,785
Absolutely.

1200
01:08:57,215 --> 01:08:59,875
Like it's almost a tingling
sensation in my head.

1201
01:09:03,595 --> 01:09:05,235
Our words impact our breath.

1202
01:09:05,285 --> 01:09:06,855
Our breath drives our physiology.

1203
01:09:08,485 --> 01:09:13,955
And so when we have words that affect our
breath, we'll call it negatively though.

1204
01:09:13,955 --> 01:09:15,055
I don't love those.

1205
01:09:15,890 --> 01:09:18,590
That terminology, but when we have
words that affect our breath from the

1206
01:09:18,590 --> 01:09:25,385
context of creating shallow, high in the
chest, high and tight breathing, right?

1207
01:09:28,315 --> 01:09:31,465
Versus that, that's
going to drive our state.

1208
01:09:32,275 --> 01:09:40,855
Now, the best affirmations or
intentions or mantras or, uh, ribeyes

1209
01:09:40,855 --> 01:09:42,505
and t bones to your light wolf.

1210
01:09:43,165 --> 01:09:47,165
come from a prior limiting
belief or a prior statement

1211
01:09:47,175 --> 01:09:49,255
that created tension before.

1212
01:09:49,755 --> 01:09:52,855
So for me, my anchor
statement is, I love myself.

1213
01:09:53,955 --> 01:09:55,085
I love myself.

1214
01:09:55,745 --> 01:10:00,975
And that's because that came from a large
swath of my life where I hated myself.

1215
01:10:01,990 --> 01:10:02,870
Hated myself.

1216
01:10:03,270 --> 01:10:09,490
And so for me, that statement alone can
pull me out of a whole mess of problems.

1217
01:10:12,450 --> 01:10:22,390
For you in this particular situation,
providing the positive outcome and the

1218
01:10:22,420 --> 01:10:31,330
reasons for positive outcome creates an
entirely different internal state and mind

1219
01:10:31,340 --> 01:10:34,380
state as it relates to this situation.

1220
01:10:34,720 --> 01:10:37,120
Now, have you gotten a job
in the last 20 minutes?

1221
01:10:37,940 --> 01:10:38,260
No.

1222
01:10:39,440 --> 01:10:43,320
And action dispels overwhelm.

1223
01:10:43,860 --> 01:10:46,670
Action casts out overwhelm.

1224
01:10:47,350 --> 01:10:53,560
With this positivity, with this, I can
get a job because I've got a great skill

1225
01:10:53,560 --> 01:10:58,340
set and I can provide a ton of value
for, you know, other companies, you are

1226
01:10:58,350 --> 01:11:05,580
much more likely to then go out and apply
for a job than, Oh, I should get a job.

1227
01:11:05,590 --> 01:11:06,440
This fucking sucks.

1228
01:11:06,440 --> 01:11:06,470
Right.

1229
01:11:06,470 --> 01:11:06,499
Right.

1230
01:11:06,500 --> 01:11:07,590
Et cetera, et cetera.

1231
01:11:07,600 --> 01:11:08,210
Excuse my cursing.

1232
01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:22,050
Change in physiological state helps
raise the tide for all boats, right?

1233
01:11:22,050 --> 01:11:26,730
The change in physiological state
helps you to be a, in a better

1234
01:11:26,730 --> 01:11:30,290
me, better everyone environment,
meaning your interactions with

1235
01:11:30,290 --> 01:11:32,130
your wife, mother, daughters.

1236
01:11:32,490 --> 01:11:33,190
I'm going to be better.

1237
01:11:33,750 --> 01:11:37,360
Your interaction when you do
walk into that job interview

1238
01:11:37,690 --> 01:11:38,530
is going to be different.

1239
01:11:38,970 --> 01:11:42,130
The interaction on the next podcast
is going to be different and you

1240
01:11:42,130 --> 01:11:43,210
never know who's going to listen.

1241
01:11:43,550 --> 01:11:43,780
Right.

1242
01:11:43,820 --> 01:11:45,640
And what things could come of that.

1243
01:11:46,050 --> 01:11:50,060
And so if you had to put a.

1244
01:11:51,680 --> 01:11:56,720
Label on your strongest emotion
right now and rate that 1 to 10.

1245
01:11:56,730 --> 01:12:00,050
What would that be encouraged?

1246
01:12:00,050 --> 01:12:01,799
Say 6 or

1247
01:12:04,960 --> 01:12:10,000
7 take that all day long.

1248
01:12:10,010 --> 01:12:11,300
We'll call that a 6.

1249
01:12:11,300 --> 01:12:14,490
5 So we went from a stress and anxiety 9.

1250
01:12:14,490 --> 01:12:16,067
5 to an encouraged 6.

1251
01:12:16,067 --> 01:12:24,000
5 out of 10 and 22 minutes on
something that is a major major

1252
01:12:24,110 --> 01:12:27,825
major thing Part of everybody's life,
which is their financial situation.

1253
01:12:31,505 --> 01:12:36,855
So hashtag story work, hashtag words.

1254
01:12:38,605 --> 01:12:38,915
Yeah.

1255
01:12:38,965 --> 01:12:42,465
No guys, uh, it's, it's not scary.

1256
01:12:42,565 --> 01:12:45,195
It's I, I was a little
anxious to start out with it.

1257
01:12:45,595 --> 01:12:45,935
Right.

1258
01:12:45,935 --> 01:12:46,695
Was that scary?

1259
01:12:46,695 --> 01:12:48,805
You guys have hung out with
us through this whole thing.

1260
01:12:49,865 --> 01:12:51,145
You've heard what's going on.

1261
01:12:52,325 --> 01:12:53,335
This isn't scary.

1262
01:12:53,375 --> 01:12:56,335
This isn't some like woo, woo, crazy.

1263
01:12:57,715 --> 01:12:58,155
Right?

1264
01:12:58,435 --> 01:13:00,345
This is something you can do.

1265
01:13:00,955 --> 01:13:02,415
And I will be honest guys.

1266
01:13:02,415 --> 01:13:05,535
I am always honestly like, really,
my chest doesn't feel as heavy.

1267
01:13:06,755 --> 01:13:08,045
Uh, I feel more positive.

1268
01:13:08,055 --> 01:13:10,355
This is a very difficult subject for me.

1269
01:13:11,065 --> 01:13:14,415
Uh, it's been a lot of stress in
my family for several months now.

1270
01:13:15,475 --> 01:13:20,715
And I do feel better and if nothing
else, I feel better at the moment

1271
01:13:21,525 --> 01:13:23,815
and having that relief is huge.

1272
01:13:25,465 --> 01:13:28,085
And so what, what I would encourage
you to do, Brandon, is, is take

1273
01:13:28,095 --> 01:13:33,235
those three statements that you have
and, you know, edit at your will.

1274
01:13:33,585 --> 01:13:33,925
Right?

1275
01:13:34,235 --> 01:13:35,755
Edit them however you'd like.

1276
01:13:35,795 --> 01:13:37,375
Keep them if that's what you want to do.

1277
01:13:37,815 --> 01:13:42,665
And then write them down or print them off
and put them places where you'll see them.

1278
01:13:43,165 --> 01:13:46,845
Put them in your car or truck, tape
them on the refrigerator, write it on

1279
01:13:46,845 --> 01:13:49,855
your bathroom mirror, keep it by your
bedside table, put it in your journal

1280
01:13:49,855 --> 01:13:51,055
and put it right next to your computer.

1281
01:13:51,575 --> 01:13:55,305
So that now those are the things
that you can say and remind yourself

1282
01:13:55,305 --> 01:13:56,685
of and have them be present.

1283
01:13:57,095 --> 01:14:01,525
You know, if, if you're listening to this
and you've ever trained a dog, always

1284
01:14:01,535 --> 01:14:05,475
have treats in your pocket, pocket,
if you've got a puppy, always, always,

1285
01:14:05,485 --> 01:14:08,055
always, because it's that positive
reinforcement and that positive reminder,

1286
01:14:08,245 --> 01:14:13,825
sit, good boy, treat, read that out
loud, that's the food for the light

1287
01:14:13,875 --> 01:14:16,585
wolf, that's the food for the light wolf.

1288
01:14:16,855 --> 01:14:20,095
So I can't find a job because
I'm skilled and capable.

1289
01:14:20,805 --> 01:14:25,515
The more reps you have of that, the,
again, the more likely you are to take

1290
01:14:25,515 --> 01:14:29,275
action and the more likely you are
to be in a calmer state when you do.

1291
01:14:29,615 --> 01:14:33,345
So listener, for whatever your
should statement was, right?

1292
01:14:34,065 --> 01:14:37,165
Go through that same process,
should to could, could to can,

1293
01:14:37,195 --> 01:14:39,465
can because, and then breathe.

1294
01:14:40,115 --> 01:14:46,525
And whatever that end product is, rep
it, because just like the gym, you

1295
01:14:46,525 --> 01:14:51,315
can't go into the gym one time and do,
you know, eight sets of bicep curls,

1296
01:14:51,315 --> 01:14:52,855
and now you got bigger biceps for life.

1297
01:14:52,865 --> 01:14:54,775
Like, that's not how it works, right?

1298
01:14:54,805 --> 01:14:57,695
It takes reps, repetitions,
and consistency.

1299
01:14:58,585 --> 01:15:03,715
And unlike the gym, unlike fitness
and unlike health wellness, how you

1300
01:15:03,715 --> 01:15:07,345
feel about yourself and your current
life situation can change like that.

1301
01:15:09,945 --> 01:15:14,375
Now guys, if this is ringing a bell for
you, okay, you, you know, you're sitting

1302
01:15:14,375 --> 01:15:18,005
here listening to this, you know, there
are some things weighing you down and

1303
01:15:18,005 --> 01:15:19,355
that might be a negative self talk.

1304
01:15:19,355 --> 01:15:23,315
That might be anxiety, stress, any number
of things that are weighing you down.

1305
01:15:25,325 --> 01:15:27,755
This is another tool for the toolbox guys.

1306
01:15:27,755 --> 01:15:29,595
This is another opportunity and option.

1307
01:15:30,455 --> 01:15:33,755
You know, we're all about presenting
you guys with options and pools for your

1308
01:15:33,775 --> 01:15:36,875
toolbox to live the best life for you.

1309
01:15:37,685 --> 01:15:39,405
If you're connecting with this.

1310
01:15:40,105 --> 01:15:43,545
If you're connecting with Dave, right?

1311
01:15:44,395 --> 01:15:46,635
You can start your first,
your journey this way.

1312
01:15:47,465 --> 01:15:52,335
Dave is very generously offered that
for my first three listeners who

1313
01:15:52,335 --> 01:15:58,315
respond with the subject line story
work to info at the fallible man.

1314
01:15:58,535 --> 01:15:59,045
com.

1315
01:16:00,005 --> 01:16:02,069
He will provide my first three listeners.

1316
01:16:03,100 --> 01:16:08,450
Respond to the, like I said, email info at
the fallible man, subject line story work.

1317
01:16:09,260 --> 01:16:13,070
They will take my first three
listeners who respond with that and

1318
01:16:13,070 --> 01:16:14,620
give you a free session with him.

1319
01:16:15,870 --> 01:16:16,340
Okay.

1320
01:16:16,620 --> 01:16:17,890
I have the promo codes.

1321
01:16:17,960 --> 01:16:20,020
So email me info at the fallible man.

1322
01:16:20,160 --> 01:16:22,400
com with the subject line story work.

1323
01:16:23,040 --> 01:16:26,180
If you want to try this out for yourself,
if you want to give this a shot and

1324
01:16:26,180 --> 01:16:30,480
see what it can do for you, Dave is
giving you an opportunity for that.

1325
01:16:31,215 --> 01:16:32,465
Which thank you for that, Dave.

1326
01:16:32,465 --> 01:16:33,585
I appreciate that greatly.

1327
01:16:33,845 --> 01:16:34,385
You're welcome.

1328
01:16:35,725 --> 01:16:39,385
This is not something, one of the things
I want to do with this was demystify.

1329
01:16:40,195 --> 01:16:40,605
Right.

1330
01:16:41,735 --> 01:16:44,015
As guys, we tend to be a
little hesitant for new things.

1331
01:16:45,430 --> 01:16:46,620
I certainly am.

1332
01:16:46,670 --> 01:16:47,430
We all know this.

1333
01:16:47,430 --> 01:16:50,580
If you listen to the show for any length
of time, I'm not a new thing kind of guy.

1334
01:16:51,540 --> 01:16:54,920
So I wanted you to see in
action what you're, what you're

1335
01:16:54,920 --> 01:16:56,010
actually looking at doing.

1336
01:16:56,340 --> 01:16:56,850
Okay.

1337
01:16:57,810 --> 01:17:03,790
Dave may be exactly what you need,
or if he's not exactly what you

1338
01:17:03,790 --> 01:17:08,065
need, You're still going to benefit
from going through this practice

1339
01:17:08,065 --> 01:17:10,275
with him and trying it out, right?

1340
01:17:10,275 --> 01:17:11,925
It's not going to hurt you.

1341
01:17:12,035 --> 01:17:13,015
It can only help you.

1342
01:17:14,585 --> 01:17:16,585
Dave, what is next for Dave Robinson?

1343
01:17:18,795 --> 01:17:19,585
It's a great question.

1344
01:17:19,615 --> 01:17:23,675
Um, I've been on defense for
the past three or four years.

1345
01:17:23,685 --> 01:17:26,285
I've been playing defense
and special teams, right?

1346
01:17:26,345 --> 01:17:28,465
And Defense wins championships.

1347
01:17:28,525 --> 01:17:29,355
I understand that.

1348
01:17:29,375 --> 01:17:31,625
And in today's NFL, you
got to put up points.

1349
01:17:31,735 --> 01:17:33,065
You got to score points, right?

1350
01:17:33,065 --> 01:17:37,625
So, um, this year I've made
my first hires already.

1351
01:17:37,715 --> 01:17:43,505
Um, I actually hired my fiancee, Ruslana,
to help me out on a bunch of the business

1352
01:17:43,505 --> 01:17:48,550
side of things that are not in the realm
of What I love and, and, uh, you know,

1353
01:17:48,550 --> 01:17:54,500
the fulfillment, everything else she
helps me out with, um, we've got a, a

1354
01:17:54,620 --> 01:17:59,640
dream and desire to find a homestead a
couple of hours West of Richmond in the

1355
01:17:59,640 --> 01:18:07,890
mountains and expand from 30 rabbits to
sheeps and goats and cows and chickens

1356
01:18:07,890 --> 01:18:10,380
and dogs and the whole nine yards.

1357
01:18:10,380 --> 01:18:14,790
And so, um, we've got a very clear
vision and dream of what we want to do.

1358
01:18:14,830 --> 01:18:15,840
And I know that.

1359
01:18:16,335 --> 01:18:17,155
It's going to happen.

1360
01:18:17,165 --> 01:18:20,905
My word of the year is inevitable, and
whether that's this year, next year, the

1361
01:18:20,905 --> 01:18:25,775
year after that, whatever it may be, I
know where I want to go, and I've got a

1362
01:18:25,775 --> 01:18:30,355
pretty clear path up the mountain, so,
um, I'm going to keep working stories, and

1363
01:18:30,725 --> 01:18:37,010
keep building, and helping folks out, and,
Uh, get to that point where I can run up

1364
01:18:37,010 --> 01:18:39,020
my own mountain and fish in my own stream.

1365
01:18:39,700 --> 01:18:40,320
Golly day.

1366
01:18:40,340 --> 01:18:41,640
Does that not sound awesome?

1367
01:18:43,130 --> 01:18:47,050
I want, I want it.

1368
01:18:47,460 --> 01:18:48,340
Yeah, I know.

1369
01:18:48,370 --> 01:18:48,700
I know.

1370
01:18:48,700 --> 01:18:49,180
I know.

1371
01:18:50,900 --> 01:18:53,210
Where's the best place for
people to connect with you, Dave?

1372
01:18:54,340 --> 01:18:55,210
Two places.

1373
01:18:55,270 --> 01:18:56,270
Uh, I'm on.

1374
01:18:56,995 --> 01:18:59,935
instagram@daverobinson.coach.

1375
01:19:00,415 --> 01:19:07,935
Instagram is Dave robinson.coach, and
my website is work your stories.com.

1376
01:19:08,025 --> 01:19:11,055
Again, www.workyourstories.com.

1377
01:19:11,465 --> 01:19:12,545
Um, you can check out.

1378
01:19:13,075 --> 01:19:16,875
testimonials, check out, um,
you know, some, some more

1379
01:19:16,875 --> 01:19:18,205
information about story work.

1380
01:19:18,215 --> 01:19:22,175
You can book a discovery call with
me there and, uh, find out more

1381
01:19:22,175 --> 01:19:23,565
whether this, this works for you.

1382
01:19:23,885 --> 01:19:29,205
And if you want to keep in touch with the
rabbits and the workouts and some other

1383
01:19:29,205 --> 01:19:30,845
fun stuff, then follow me on Instagram.

1384
01:19:31,915 --> 01:19:32,405
All right.

1385
01:19:32,935 --> 01:19:37,785
Now I know you guys are all
really worried about how long

1386
01:19:37,785 --> 01:19:39,245
did the dinosaurs live on earth.

1387
01:19:39,820 --> 01:19:41,770
You said 200 million plus years.

1388
01:19:41,775 --> 01:19:48,250
The answer was 150 to 200 million
years was D not C . I know

1389
01:19:48,250 --> 01:19:50,560
everybody's like hanging on their
edge of the sea for that one, right?

1390
01:19:50,620 --> 01:19:51,670
Oh, for sure, for sure.

1391
01:19:51,675 --> 01:19:53,200
I I, I love the callback.

1392
01:19:53,200 --> 01:20:01,230
I was confident it wasn't d and it was,
you know, I'll buy it, I'll take it.

1393
01:20:01,230 --> 01:20:02,010
I'll take your word for it.

1394
01:20:02,040 --> 01:20:03,300
150 to 200 million.

1395
01:20:03,850 --> 01:20:06,070
Well, I looked it up on the
internet, so you know how you

1396
01:20:06,070 --> 01:20:07,240
know it's gotta real That's true.

1397
01:20:07,240 --> 01:20:08,050
That is right.

1398
01:20:08,050 --> 01:20:11,800
It's gotta be real . Dave, wrap us out.

1399
01:20:12,860 --> 01:20:17,020
No matter what we talked about today, what
is the most important takeaway you want

1400
01:20:17,070 --> 01:20:19,000
people to hear today from this episode?

1401
01:20:20,170 --> 01:20:22,250
Breathe, breathe.

1402
01:20:22,440 --> 01:20:25,280
There's my, my favorite quote
is a Viktor Frankl quote.

1403
01:20:25,280 --> 01:20:27,560
He wrote man's search for
meaning tremendous book.

1404
01:20:27,560 --> 01:20:32,900
If you haven't read it, um, in
between stimulus and response,

1405
01:20:32,900 --> 01:20:37,940
there is a space in that space is
our power to choose our response.

1406
01:20:38,490 --> 01:20:40,910
In our response lies our
growth and our freedom.

1407
01:20:41,530 --> 01:20:46,590
So in between stimulus, what happens to
you, response, how you respond, there's

1408
01:20:46,590 --> 01:20:48,790
a space that I like to call the wedge.

1409
01:20:49,170 --> 01:20:53,290
And any, any personal development
work is all about expanding that

1410
01:20:53,290 --> 01:20:57,510
wedge between the stuff that
happens to you and how you react.

1411
01:20:57,860 --> 01:21:01,370
And in that wedge, no matter how big
or small that wedge is, you can always,

1412
01:21:05,840 --> 01:21:08,234
you can always take a breath and relax.

1413
01:21:08,405 --> 01:21:12,995
That will change how you react, whether
you do that at work, you do that at

1414
01:21:12,995 --> 01:21:16,745
home when you're dealing with your kids
or your spouse, whether you're working

1415
01:21:16,745 --> 01:21:21,925
through something super positive or super
negative, anything in between, breathe

1416
01:21:22,665 --> 01:21:28,725
and your life will change guys for myself
and Dave be better tomorrow because what

1417
01:21:28,725 --> 01:21:30,225
you do today, we'll see on the next one.

1418
01:21:31,535 --> 01:21:35,795
This has been the fellow man
podcast, your home for everything

1419
01:21:35,865 --> 01:21:37,995
man, husband and father.

1420
01:21:38,745 --> 01:21:41,125
Be sure to subscribe so
you don't miss a show.

1421
01:21:41,895 --> 01:21:44,594
Head over to www.

1422
01:21:44,595 --> 01:21:45,605
thefallibleman.

1423
01:21:45,605 --> 01:21:54,175
com for more content and get
your own Fallible Man Gear.