Welcome to the Fallible Nation!

From Formula One to Personal Pitstops Fueling Male Transformation

On this episode of The Fallible Man Podcast, host Brent interviews Emmett Kilduff, the creator of Pit Stop, the world's first app dedicated to men's personal development. The conversation explores why men should invest in their personal growth and discusses the importance of having a growth mindset, open communication, and daily habits. Emmett shares his personal story, the inception of Pit Stop following a health scare, and the app's features, including content summaries, forums, and action-oriented tools. The discussion also covers effective ways for men to build supportive networks and the significant steps they should take towards personal development.

Send us a text

Are you living the life you've always dreamed of? For many men, the answer is a resounding "no." But what if there was a way to take control of your personal development and become the man you've always wanted to be?

In this eye-opening conversation, I sit down with Emmett Kilduff, founder of Pitstop - the world's first app designed specifically for men's personal growth. Emmett shares his journey from investment banker to tech entrepreneur, and reveals why men's personal development is more crucial now than ever before.

The Power of Embracing Personal Growth

  • Why comfort zones are holding you back from reaching your full potential
  • The surprising link between physical health and mental breakthroughs
  • How to cultivate a growth mindset that propels you forward in all areas of life

Breaking the Silence: Men's Mental Health

  • The alarming statistics that highlight the importance of open dialogue
  • Why vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness
  • Practical ways to build a supportive network of like-minded men

Technology Meets Personal Development

  • An inside look at Pitstop: the app revolutionizing men's growth
  • How bite-sized content and daily habits can lead to massive change
  • The future of personalized coaching and community support for men

But what truly sets this conversation apart is Emmett's emphasis on authenticity and action. He doesn't just talk about change; he provides a roadmap for making it happen in your everyday life.

Whether you're feeling stuck in your career, struggling with work-life balance, or simply sensing there's more to life than what you're currently experiencing, this discussion will equip you with the tools to take that first step towards becoming the man you want to be.

Are you ready to take control of your personal development and create lasting change in your life? Tune in and discover how to harness the power of technology, community, and daily habits to transform your future and become the best version of yourself.

 



Connect with Pitstop and Emmett:

https://www.takeapitstop.com/

https://www.instagram.com/takeapitstop_/

https://www.linkedin.com/company/takeapitstop/

https://www.youtube.com/@Takeapitstop_

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/drive-to-thrive-a-pitstop-podcast/id1771388544

https://www.tiktok.com/@takeapitstop


To Download the Companion Asset for this episode for free go to:
https://www.thefallibleman.com/podcastextras

⬇️Suggested Next Episode⬇️

 

Join our Bi-Weekly Mailing List and Receive our "Foundations of Change" Ebook 

 

Music Credit:

Composition/Master: Man on a Mission

Artist(s): Oh The Larceny
Duration: 3:32

Licensed Use

 

Other Music by CreatorMix.com

Support the show

Transcript

From Formula One to Personal Pitstops Fueling Male Transformation

Gentlemen, one very simple question for you. Are you who you want to be and where you want to be? Have you reached all your goals in life of man as a man? If the answer is no, then you do you have a plan or are you winging it? Do you have clarity about why do you believe you can get there? What if personal development actually jumped forward to the 21st century?

And what if it was geared for men? Well, today on the Fallible Man podcast, I have Emmett Kildreth, the creator of Pit Stop, the world's first app for men's personal development. Emmett, welcome to the show.

Emmett Kilduff: Thank you for having me. It's a lot of beer.

D Brent Dowlen: Emmett, we like to, we're going to start strong here. Why should men invest in themselves and in their own personal development?

Emmett Kilduff: What a great first powerful question. Um,

life is not a dress rehearsal. We are not here for a long [00:01:00] time. Um, we need to make the most out of our, out of our lives and. I use the term growth mindset a lot, uh, Brent, which I'm sure you've heard of, and, um, I try as often as possible to have a growth mindset, which means to be curious, to experiment, to try and make tiny atopic improvements to, to habits or to growth.

And, uh, ultimately, ultimately, I think, um, ultimately let's be, let's be clear, like when we all get to our deathbed, If you read the, there's a great book, The Top Regrets of the Dying, uh, uh, by an Australian palliative care nurse who interviewed thousands of people that died and they, they come up with some of the top regrets, like I worked too hard, or I didn't spend enough time with friends and family, and all these sorts of things, and that's, I didn't pursue my own dreams, I did what other people might have thought I should have done.

Um, and I think, uh, trying to pursue personal growth means you have No regrets. It's a great French song, You Don't Regret Me [00:02:00] Now. Like, that's where I want to get to. I don't want to have any regrets, you know? So I, I, um, I try to I'm not saying I'm, I'm, I'm a robot and I make loads of changes to habits every day.

That's I'm trying to be authentic. That's not, that's not possible either. But I'm always curious and trying to experiment to, um, to keep pushing oneself forward. And I, I also think, um, you can live longer with that sort of attitude. If, if, if you look at the, uh, the five blue zones where people live the longest in the world, they are generally lifelong learners.

They're trying to, uh, progress, you know, uh, uh, improve themselves all the time as well as have other things like community great time. Um, but yeah, there's, I think there's lots of reasons to try and pursue personal growth.

D Brent Dowlen: Well, we gotta have a good reason to start. Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential growing to the men?

We dream of becoming while taking care of our responsibilities working living being good husbands fathers and still take care of ourselves [00:03:00] Well, that's the big question podcast, we'll help you with those answers and more My name is brent and welcome to the family man podcast Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, your home for all things, man, husband and father.

Big shout out to Fallible Nation. That's our loyal listeners and a warm welcome to those joining us for the first time. We know there's a lot competing for your attention, so thanks for giving us a chance and checking us out. It means a lot from the bottom of my heart. My name is Brent. Today, my guest is Emmett Kilduff.

See, I told you I'd mess it up. Founder and chairman of Pitstop, the world's first app for men's personal development. Emmett, welcome to the Fallow Man podcast.

Emmett Kilduff: Great to be here.

D Brent Dowlen: Now, gents, let me give a full disclosure. Emmett's team gave me full access to the Pitstop app so I could take it for a spin and be fully informed on how it works and try it out before we recorded this conversation.

I am not now, nor have I ever been paid to do an interview, nor is there any financial incentive for me to promote this app. I'm not connected, [00:04:00] affiliated, compensated, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I just want you guys to know that upfront, this isn't a sales job. I don't do that now, guys, we're going to get to spend just a little bit of time getting to know Emmett for a few minutes before we dig in and then we'll jump right into the meat of it.

Now, Emmett, there's, there's a lot of things I could read about you, but that doesn't really ring with people. So in your own words today, in this moment, who is Emmett Kilda?

Emmett Kilduff: Well, um, I'm, was born in Canada, grew up in Ireland, um, became an investment banker after I left college, worked for some amazing firms like, uh, US corporate finance firm, Morgan Stanley.

Um was a son of a tech entrepreneur so grew up reading business plans not novels and always wanted to do the entrepreneurial route as opposed to become a gray haired banker, um I've uh [00:05:00] pissed off is my fourth startup. I love starting businesses. Um From a hobby perspective, skiing is my favorite hobby.

I'd rather be nowhere else than on the mountains, not looking at my BlackBerry or my phone, um, and uh, just having fun, being in a flow state, which is important, uh, and is a personal growth topic. Um, I'm a husband, father of three, um, my, uh, second, uh, kid is sixteen today. Um, 17 year old, 16 year old, and 10 year old, and, um, my 16 year old has heard of a guy called Andrew Tate, and that really frustrates me, and that's maybe something we can come back to, um, later on in the discussion.

Um, uh, and more recently, I guess the reason why I'm here from a, uh, looking, uh, who am I? I had a health care two years ago, so from a DNA heredity perspective, I had a heart issue that came when I was 45. And, um, that was a catalyst for my Pitstop journey. And maybe we can dive into that [00:06:00] if that's of interest, but it was because of a heart issue.

I started Pitstop and I'm actually glad I had a heart issue. Cause I love Pitstop. It's my main hobby. I think we have a chance of really changing society for the better by improving, you know, men, the lives of men. Um, so that's me. That's me in a nutshell.

D Brent Dowlen: I love it. I love it. If you could go back and give your 18 year old self one piece of advice, what would it be?

Emmett Kilduff: Another great question. And I thought about this when I, my 80 year old self to my current self, back to my 18 year old self, I would, um, I'd say, um, you know, um, never give up. Keep believing in, in, in, in what you're working on.

D Brent Dowlen: Guys, we're going to roll our sponsor. We will be right back with more from Emmett Kilda.

Mike Lindell: A large retail store just canceled a huge order, leaving us with a ton of extra MyPillows, but you know what? That's their loss. I'm going to make it [00:07:00] your game for the first time ever. You get standard classic MyPillows for wholesale prices, only 14. 88. I can't believe I'm even saying that only 14. 88, but it gets even better.

For a limited time, I'm going to offer my entire classic collection at wholesale prices. Upgrade to a queen size MyPillow for just 18. 88, king size only a dollar more. Get my body pillows for 29. 88 and multi use MyPillows for only 9. 88. So go to MyPillow. com or call the number on the screen. Use your promo code to take advantage of wholesale pricing.

For the first time ever on TV, including my standard size, my pillow, only 1488. They've never been offered this low before. We have limited quantities at this price. So limit's going to be 10. And once they're gone, they're gone.

D Brent Dowlen: Guys. We spent a little time just getting to know who it is and answering some important questions and then touch base with our sponsor.

If you're listening to this, that promo code is [00:08:00] TFM as the fallible man, pretty simple TFM. Use that MyPillow to get up to 80 percent off with our sponsor, MyPillow and. That works all the time. It works for whatever promotion they're running. That's just for my listeners. So you guys enjoy that. I sleep on my pillow.

I have my pillow sheets. I love my, my pillow gear, check it out, save yourself some money for some good products. Now let's get into men's personal development. Emmett, we, we had some conversation off screen and part of that was, you know, Why is men's personal development so complex, right? There, there doesn't seem to be a lot out there.

Do you think men in general are encouraged or supported in personal development are ignored or discouraged from it? Are, what do you think the state is for this?

Emmett Kilduff: It's interesting. I mean, looking back, I feel frustrated that I didn't, um, get more education or guidance on this topic, even in [00:09:00] school or college or work.

I worked for an amazing company like Morgan Stanley. I didn't get any support at that time. Uh for balance in life and believe me I did a lot of hours, um, uh, you know, um, And so I think it's improving like my my uh, my kids now I'm, sure like a lot of kids in in school in their early years. There's a wellness, you know, Part of the curriculum, which is great to see and uh, you know, we need we need more of that.

Um, Especially to combat, uh, the amputates of the world, you know, so my son who's 16 today You And he has a wellness class, but he is hearing from Andrew Tate on social media, which disgusts me. Um, you know, we're trying to genuinely be authentic about helping men. When I say men, I mean boys, teenagers, college students, and ultimately, you know, who grow into men.

Uh, wouldn't it be great if we could get these people forming their habits good habits earlier? So it's so hard to change habits. It is possible but [00:10:00] hard as we all as we all grow, right? Um, And I so that's that's one angle. I think the other angle is You know compared to women women talk about it all this stuff like um, They're they're much more open and vulnerable with their friends or their contacts men Uh, most men, unfortunately, uh, see vulnerability as, um, a negative or, uh, an inferior side to their personality.

They live with their masks on, um, which, which is something that I think we need to try and change. That's sort of, you know, if we look at our fathers or grandfathers, you know, the man was always supposed to be just fine and the breadwinner just went to work, you know, had no issues, no health issues, no mental health issues, no, you know, that's, that's far from reality, isn't it?

Um, and, um, we need to try and have more dialogue. Um, amongst men to, to talk about these things. And there are serious [00:11:00] consequences if dialogue doesn't happen, which we might touch on if you'd like. Um, but there's also softer, less serious consequences as well. And so we at Pissed Off see like there's lots of simple ways we can help men.

Um, and by, by, it's important to note for your listeners, like by helping men, it's not a zero sum game, we're helping society, right? There's lots of other apps and businesses helping women. Um, Some people say, well, why are you just helping man? I said, well, there are other solutions for, for women. Why isn't there any for men?

And, and by helping men, we're actually improving society because they're helping there'll be nicer, better men for, for their partners, for their parents, for their kids, for their friends, et cetera. So,

D Brent Dowlen: yeah, this is going to give me a ton of problem trouble. I'm sure. But when you support a Keystone species, the entire Ecosystem gets better.

Right. And you, and you said it accurately, right? Men, [00:12:00] men do the provide, provide, protect stuff. Right. And that's what we were expected to do for generations and generations. That's been the expectation for men. And so when you bring a man up, you bring up everything in that ecosystem, uh, with him. I totally agree.

Do you think that these expectations are part of the reason that. The societal expectations are why so many men navigate their life struggling in silence instead of actually opening up

Emmett Kilduff: Oh, look, there's huge pressure on both frankly men and women in society today, right? I mean, it's not just men It's also women and if you think about men today, especially if you look at social media Like we're all supposed to have six packs of zero mental health issues Have no incredible amount of time for leisure and Um have loads of time for our kids make, you know, climb the career ladder ASAP and make a ton of money Like that's that's what it looks [00:13:00] like.

We're all supposed to do which is, you know, frankly ridiculous, isn't it? We can't we can't uh have a perfect wheel of life is what we call it across those six areas You can't be 10 out of 10 across all aspects of life And, and so yes, if you, you, you always just see the best examples on social media, and, um, and that puts huge pressure on men, because they, they're expected to live up to that standard, which is insane, and, um, and if you don't talk about it, then, yeah, you're sort of bottling up inside, and you get frustrated, and, um, And then you see, like, man's role in society has changed.

A lot of women are, women are frankly getting, you know, better results in college. And are, in a lot of cases, getting better jobs. And so, and getting great jobs, highly paid jobs. So man isn't just the sole breadwinner anymore. So, so what does it mean? What's man's purpose? That's a huge question, and I don't, I don't have all the answers, um, but, and then your people, people, um, taking advantage of that [00:14:00] to younger, uh, younger men, uh, again, going back to Andrew Tate and taking them back into sort of the void of not really knowing what one's purpose is in life and, uh, filling it with toxic, toxicity then, which is, which is awful, and we don't want that.

Um, so it's an interesting time, isn't it? It's, um, uh, we, we, I, I want to help, you know, ultimately is it more. Women on personal become better people, more people, uh, you know, achieve the priorities that we wanna in life and be a better society. And there are other businesses doing it for women. And we're,

D Brent Dowlen: and that's a very fair statement, gentlemen.

I mean, we actually have, so I, I'd say about 23% if I have rub my, uh, Ana, my analytics, well of our listeners are female. And I've actually had several women ask, like, well, why don't you talk to women? It's like, well, [00:15:00] because there are a lot of people talking to women, right? And I, my, my, my world is surrounded by women.

I have two daughters. My mother turned 73 today and lives with us, uh, since my father passed and my wife. Right. So I have four women in my house at all times. Most of the people in our lives, there's a broad circle of females, a very small circle of men. Uh, but. And actually women inspired me starting the show, but that was a whole nother conversation, but right.

It's not that I think women have less pressure on them. I think it's different. Some of this very similar. It's just, that's not what we focus on with the fallible man. Right. Um, so I never want to come across as I'm, I'm putting down women. They they've got their hands full too. Uh, like I said, with two daughters, I'm a huge advocate for, you know, Tell me, tell my daughter, she can't do something.

I will be the first to punch you in [00:16:00] the face. Like that's, that's going to end back whether she can do it or not. I'm still going to punch you in the face. Uh, I guess I'm just not okay with that conversation, but so many men feel like they're expected to just go through life and suffer quietly, right?

We've, we've learned this generationally coming down and we've had that conversation here on the show talking about, okay, well, A lot of women are getting some really great jobs and doing better education and the provider role is not as big of a thing. And for a lot of us in the first world countries, the protector role isn't as big of a thing as it used to be.

So where do we fit these days? Right? I think that's a conversation a lot of men are struggling with. Uh, that's one of the reasons I'm a big advocate for personal development is as we start seeking where we fit, what our purpose is, how we belong, I think we'll find a lot faster when we start pursuing our own personal development and start [00:17:00] growing, uh, which is why I'm thrilled to see things moving in that direction.

I'm, I'm with you. I'm not a huge entertainment fan. I think he's, he says some things that are very true. He also says them without a lot of cooth. Um, he also says some stuff that's just asinine and a horrible influence. Yeah. Those guys who bang on their chest drive me nuts. Cause it's like, we're trying to do an honest conversation here about how you actually grow as men, but as the chest thumpers out there who are screaming and eating raw meat on the camera going, Oh, this is how you do it.

That are getting all the attention.

Emmett Kilduff: Yeah, that's an interesting comment because I think it's, it's again, it's creating this wrong image. Uh, like the idea that to have personal growth or have a growth mindset means you're doing a nice bath at 4am, you know, is ridiculous. And, uh, maybe once, once in every while, but to, You know, that's not, that's not, that's not the answer.

[00:18:00] And anyone who, anyone who talks like that, I question if they're getting enough sleep and what time they're going to bed at, you know, rather than just sounding macho about when they get up. Um, and I monitor my sleep with my Whoop. I think sleep is one of the low hanging fruit to help personal growth because there's some, there's some simple tricks one can do to really improve your sleep and then you feel just so much better.

You think better. Um, um, yeah,

D Brent Dowlen: um,

Emmett Kilduff: you know,

D Brent Dowlen: yeah, no, sorry. I didn't mean to leave you in a dead spot on the conversation. It's like those of us in this world, there's, I imagine you spend as much time as I do sitting around just pondering, I mean, this part of the conversation, uh, on your own, so we can keep rolling.

Emmett Kilduff: Yeah. No, you, you've used the word conversation there a few times, and I think it's a great word. I think that's the issue with men and, um. Um, When I started the Pit Stop journey, uh, I started to talk to some good friends, my brothers, [00:19:00] uh, about some of these topics, and I hadn't done that before. So I was age 45, and hadn't sort of really opened up to some people that I know really well and love, and I've been lifelong friends, or, you know, and I was like, why haven't I asked these people these sorts of questions before?

Because in Ireland, if someone says, how are you, you say, I'm grand, which means I'm good. And if you're asked that, people say the same damn thing every day of their lives, right? I'm grand, I'm grand, I'm grand. But you can't be grand every day. But no one really opens up. And I think a key step for personal growth is dialogue, conversation, community, brotherhood, whatever one would like to call it.

And we need to encourage more of that.

D Brent Dowlen: I think that's one of the biggest struggles I right now for men guys, we're going to dive into pet stop a little bit later. We're actually going to take a look at the app. Uh, if you're listening, it will be on the video. I'm actually going to share my phone screen.

You can see it on my [00:20:00] phone and we'll go through that a little bit later. One of the features you guys have in that app that really caught my attention right off the bat though, is the fact that you guys have a forum. And an open, an open conversation area for men who are using the app to engage with other men who are on this journey, which I think was just brilliant.

It's a really great feature. Uh, so I'm, I'm really excited about that part of it. Like I said, we'll get there. Cause I wouldn't jump ahead here for a minute. Uh, one of the things I like is you address certain different areas of personal growth and development. With the app, but before we dive into that, you know, let's talk about what are the key areas of personal development men should start to prioritize to achieve overall wellbeing.

Emmett Kilduff: Yeah. Um, so we, we thought about how to structure that for, for a long [00:21:00] time. And honestly, initially my, my, my vision was a Formula One car and the nose of the car was a vision or purpose in life. The tail of the car was giving back gratitude. The head of the driver was mental health. The body of the driver was physical health.

And I used to be able to jog and go and run and look through. Every part of the car and say, right, that relates to this part of life or personal growth. And, um, so, so, um, and I love formula one and I wanted to, obviously the name is related to formula one, but, um, in the focus groups, actually. We were guided to something called the wheel of life, which is a much simpler way to think about the answer to the question, Frank, which is, um, if I asked you to draw a circle of your life today and put six components in it, you would probably say.

Health, mindset, pleasure, relationships, career, finance, or something similar to that. They're generally, maybe religion, but that's something that we haven't addressed in [00:22:00] this app. Because that means lots of different things to different people. Um, And so, um, there's six components of a man's life, if you, if you want to really boil it down.

Uh, if you look at behavioral science, and, uh, you know, people that are experts in that area, they would, they would say focus on one area at a time. So maybe for November 2022, uh, 2024, excuse me, if you're not looking at the election, um, you could think about focusing in on relationships. And that, and within it might be, Um, I want to actually have a monthly sit down with my partner and be open and say what could I do better?

You know, and like i'm not it's that's a huge step even to just ask that question There's lots of other questions that can be asked are When we were on holiday in August, we actually asked our kids, how could we be better parents? Right? Um, you know, and it's the first time I've ever asked. I'm age 47 and I'm genuinely, not casually, I'm genuinely saying, please have a think about that and come back and talk to us over [00:23:00] dinner tomorrow.

Brilliant. It was brilliant. And I can actually get feedback from my, from all three kids and then act on it. So there's just some very basic examples, right? But I think, um, I would say focus on one area at a time. So then try and try and score a URN 10 on relationships. So you might be a six today. So you want to get to a seven by the end of the year.

And then after you've done that. Um, maybe focus on mindset or, you know, another, another part of your life. And, you know, just, you know, Rome wasn't built in a day. You're not going to climb Everest tomorrow. You know, atomic habits is an amazing book and it's all about just tiny little incremental improvements and, um, uh, in your focus area.

And that's, that's personal growth to me.

D Brent Dowlen: That was actually, I was a big fan when I started looking at the way you guys laid things out. Because that's our approach here is incremental growth. Real, real growth is small choices every day that compound over [00:24:00] time. Um, I actually didn't read atomic habits until I had already been doing this for like two years or something.

And I was like, Hey, that's my idea. Uh, you know, nothing's new under the sun, but I laughed so hard. A friend of mine was like, dude, you stole that from his book. I was like, what are you talking about? What book? Uh, so that was really cool to read. Uh, it's like, Oh good. I'm not the only one who thinks this is a good idea, but I liked the fact that you guys are just being and setting things up in your app in that direction of.

Okay. Let's focus on this one little thing today. Let's focus on these one single steps. Okay. and let them build, uh, I think is a very effective approach to personal development. Now, you mentioned that, you know, one of the things that people need is that conversation, that open dialogue. So outside of the community on your app, what are some effective ways that men can build and maintain a supportive network of friends and peers in a personal group [00:25:00] to help foster this personal development?

Emmett Kilduff: Yeah. I mean, great question. And it's something we think about a lot. And, um, we're continuing to think about a lot. We, uh, one way is like there are, there are male retreats around the world happening. I would encourage people to, to, uh, attend one of those. weekend away with other men to start to start feeling comfortable with having conversations with other men and in general though at those retreats there are not people that you'd know which might make it easier for you as a starting point.

And, uh, we're happy to, um, you know, recommend retreats, uh, to people who reach out. Um, second, I'd just, I'd just, like, take the first step, uh, ask your, ask your direct network, you know, or ask, ask them questions, uh, set up a WhatsApp group. Start asking questions With those folks that are amenable to to to to try [00:26:00] to be have a growth mindset There are lots of churches that have groups that i've spoken to um, we um, we're we're well come back to how we're trying to solve it from that perspective, but they're they're uh, yeah, there are some other ways Um, just just take the first step and that's what I did two years ago You'd be amazed once you once you take off this mask You And actually start talking, you'd be going, why haven't I been doing this?

Why haven't I asked my best friends how they really are? And, and the point I was trying to make is, uh, please, like for you, for your friends that are, are, are, are insular, you know, they need, they need to be asked questions more and, and they need to be listened to as well. It's not always about asking.

We've got two ears and one mouth, right? So I didn't listen, listen more than ask and talk. Um, and that can, that can really help your, your friends, your, your, your, your male friends. Um, There's a horrible statistic [00:27:00] from that. Uh, a former Marine that I heard that, um, uh, he's had, uh, more contacts killed from suicide than on the battlefield overseas.

You know, I mean, this is awful, right? We, we have to start the conversation. And, um, I think it's great to see a lot of celebrities talk about their mental health issues. I think, you know, that's good for influencers and to try and get people to realize that it's actually, you know, It's okay. Do these types of things.

Um, I'm trying to be more vulnerable. I'm, I'm, I'm very happy to say I'm a therapist. I'm very happy to say I was low in, and I'm on testosterone and I feel better for it. Um, uh, weed a webinar just last night, and I, I'm gonna, I'm.

You know, I think you need to be, we all need to try to be more open, uh, experimental. Yeah. [00:28:00] Um, I think that's a good thing.

D Brent Dowlen: I love it. It's hard for men to be vulnerable. Um, I like the point you brought up about like men's groups, uh, recruits where a lot of times you don't know anybody else there. It is both amazing and almost disheartening that it's easier to open up to strangers.

Then it is to your own circle.

David McCarter: And

D Brent Dowlen: I think as men, we need to actually pay careful attention to that because if you can't open up to your circle, maybe you have the wrong circle going on around.

Emmett Kilduff: Uh, I'd agree with, I would agree if they're really your true friends. Yeah. They should be able to be open with you.

Um, for sure. Yeah.

D Brent Dowlen: Guys, we've been discussing personal development and men's personal development and Emmett is very passionate about this as my part of the show, we're going to dive into the Pitstop app and get to know the who, [00:29:00] what, when, where, why, so you guys know what we're talking about. Uh, you know, I'm not going to leave you hanging.

So Emmett, let's start with where Pitstop originated. What's the story?

Emmett Kilduff: Uh, so I had a health care in May 22. Um, I was 45 at the time. I woke up in the cardiovascular ward of a hospital after a procedure. Excuse me, the average age of men in the war were in their 70s. I was 45, excuse me,

and um, I was pretty fit. That was the catalyst for me, Brett, I was, I, I shouldn't be here. And so, I went looking for an app to help me, an ally to be in my pocket, to help me uh, get priorities in life, to balance in life, to drive for personal growth, um, and I couldn't find one for men. Um, I found some for women and some for both men and women [00:30:00] were frankly, they're very much skewed towards women in terms of look, feel, tone of voice, et cetera.

It just wasn't for me. And, um, so I parked out and I created my own framework to help me advance, which was, I called it three scenes at the time, content, chat, and change. But I absorbed a huge amount of content, whether it was, you know, Huberman labs or that type of thing, read a lot of books like atomic habit.

I started to chat, which is conversation. I actually started to chat with my brothers, my male friends, and women about these topics. And then it was changed. All roads have to lead to change. You can read every book in the library at Harvard. So what? You've got to take action. It's all about action and habits.

And that's difficult, but you know, you've got to, you've got to, you've got to change. By the end of 22, I was there, crikey, this very simple 3C formula is working for me. As a serial entrepreneur, I was like, we got it. We got to monetize it into something proper. And, um, I couldn't, I couldn't, uh, resist the temptation.

I, I, I then went [00:31:00] and like any startup entrepreneur tried to validate, was there a market in the gap? Was there, uh, was, excuse me, was there a gap in the market and was there a market in the gap? I did that over the course of Q1, 23, and then said, let's, let's, let's do it. And began pulling a team together. Uh, we came out of stealth mode in February 24.

And, um, we last six months have just been listening to customers to get product market fit. So one of the big things they asked for was to start a forum, which we did a few weeks ago. And, um, we're now starting in, in, in, in one or two months time to spend proper money on marketing and tell the world about the app.

D Brent Dowlen: All right. Why an app in particular, right? I mean, you, you said you read a lot of books and you listen, I'm a huge Huberman fan, uh, way, way more Huberman than Tate for sure, but you went with an app and you said there wasn't one. Is that the only reason or [00:32:00] why an app?

Emmett Kilduff: Yeah, a great question because, um, it's all about habits and daily flow.

And, um, obviously the one thing we all have all the time in our lives is a phone and therefore an app. And if you want to, if you want to, you know, check your habits and check in and, um, keep learning through great content that we have, um, an app is the best way to do that. Um, there's no point, I mean, you could have a hundred self help books on that shelf behind you.

But, and in years time you'll forget that. 95 percent to what was in them. So like, like none of that, uh, you know, that might get into your daily workflow, whereas an app can do that. So we've talked about atomic habits. We, one of the things we do is summarize the best books and podcasts, um, in bite sized format, either audio or, or, or readable format.

So you could listen to a 10 minute summary of. [00:33:00] Of Atomic Habits for a 10 minute sub reels on the best, um, podcast by Huberman Labs. But at the end, we're sort of saying, of the key points you've just listened to or read, which ones do you want to turn into action for you? Or do they, do they prompt an idea of something maybe slightly different that you want to actually say, this is an action for me, or improving my relationships, or improving my mindset, or whatever it might be.

So, uh, it's all about action. And the app, an app really helps with that, in our view.

D Brent Dowlen: I like it. I like it. So let's talk about what you get with the app. I'm going to bring the app up here. And like I said, for all of you listening on the audio, uh, you know, I generally focus on audio that we've always been an audio based, uh, podcast, even though we have a YouTube channel, but I highly encourage you to check this show out on YouTube or on our website where it's also inset, because we're actually going to look at the app.

Uh, Emma's running blind [00:34:00] here. He can't see my phone actually, but all of you guys can see my phone. So you can see my app screen and I'm going in. And we are in the opening screen of your app. And it, uh, it greased me very nicely. I like this. Good morning, Brent. And knows who I am. That's, that's nice, right?

Profile and right off the bat, something, cause I already opened the app today. So one of the things that you guys aren't seeing is when you open the app, there's an immediate quote that comes up. This part of your daily fuel that comes up the first time you open the app every day. And it gives you something to think about and also gives you the option to pick a daily action from that thought.

So you're not just reading that app, but reading the thought that you're actually here's a, here's a plugin where you can go. Yeah. I want to add that to my to dos list today. Um, and it just goes back to your focus on [00:35:00] action, which I'm loving. Now you guys can see right off the bat, I have. Quick wins, you can add a quick win.

You can go in here because I don't have anything in there and you can choose what category out of the six they focus on and you can set your app, uh, your focus and this is what the action is. So I'll put in do 100 push ups today. For me, that's a reasonable action. I can choose if I want to do that just once, or if I want to do it daily, weekly or monthly, so let's say daily and I can create a new habit.

And now it's going to show up down here in my daily habits where I can check it off every day. It recommends a different daily fuel book for me, uh, where I can take those lessons that Emmett just talked about. And it's going to [00:36:00] summarize that book and I can listen to the audio version of that summary, or I can read it as a brief.

If you don't like to listen to somebody read it to you, or you just want to cut down to it and it's got the learnings down below it where you can read it and then take that, here's one for mindset work towards a fresh goal in a fresh environment, like a cafe or a gym. I like that. I actually just got a laptop for working on the podcast so I can work somewhere other than my studio.

Uh, because this was a big mental struggle for me. It's like I spend on average 12 to 14 hours a day in my studio. Uh, so yeah, the ability to go somewhere else and then it's got other books as well. It's got a search feature where you can look through multiple books, multiple options. And I'm not going to share a whole lot of the forum.

It's got forums on [00:37:00] all of the categories. I'm not going to share anybody's answers because you're not part of it. And it's got my journey. You guys can see my health is I'm working on that because I've spent 12, 14 hours days in a studio all the time and just kind of let go my workouts. And so I'm trying to remind myself to work on that.

Emmett, what do you want to tell us about this? While I've got the app open?

Emmett Kilduff: Well, I'll take a step back and, um, tell you a little bit about how we're thinking about the solution. Um, I mentioned the three Cs earlier. That was my initial framework. Um, our more professional, uh, latest framework is called the four Cs.

Um, I'll go through at a high level what we're doing there. First one is content, second is community, third is coaches, and then the fourth is clinic. So. We start with content because we want to establish credibility with our users. We have some of the best, for some reason, some of the best content available worldwide.

[00:38:00] Uh, that helps educate. You know, you won't, you'll never change unless you learn the reason why. No one's going to become a real cold water therapy fan unless they really understand why cold water can help them. And so learning is a key part of being having a growth mindset In bite sized format because we know people are really busy And and we have we're summarizing about third party content, but also proprietary content um in time Within content we could enable you to journal Uh, we could bring in apis from your apple watch and there's lots of other things that could you know could come under content Um, so that's our first sort of step and we've made good headway there.

The second is community You Which is a huge huge concept and the first thing people ask for is a forum and the forum is is Mdp it's it's there's so much more we we can and will do Um, but at least we got the ball started. We you know, we've got we've got a we're off to a good start [00:39:00] We're asking provocative questions.

One of the questions in there is, uh, when's the last time you checked your balls? Because a lot of men frankly don't, and that can lead to serious issues down the line. Another question at the top here is, um, Simple ones like, what's a habit you are proud of? Are psychedelics a good tool for personal growth?

So, to our question, our talk earlier on, if one isn't willing to have a conversation Um, publicly, the user can be anonymous and chat under, you know, a fake name and learn that way. And that might be a way for at least, at least start learning. I'm chatting with other men and at least the conversations happening is just a little bit masked on, but that's better than no conversation and not talking about these types of topics.

There's loads more we can do with community. Like, um, that's sort of a public forum, if you will. I think there's a great opportunity to do a private forum. [00:40:00] So, for example, when I was looking, uh, when I was getting testosterone, I would have loved a private group of other men who are about to embark on testosterone or asking questions about it.

Or when I was looking for a therapist, I'd love to speak to other men who've had a therapist and find out what they got Out of it what they liked and didn't like so there could be there could be hundreds of private groups Either led by experts or mediators You know or coaches Um that we can develop in the future.

So that's content community coaches is huge and the new ceo who's just started today Uh, you know, he's bringing this to the table and it sort of bridges offline online You Um, when I went looking for my therapist, I went on to Google. I didn't want someone in my hometown because just in case I bumped into them or they might, you know, no, no people I know, um, I think it was a great opportunity to, uh, digitize and bring together, uh, the marketplace and coaches for men and to have all, uh, one's [00:41:00] call notes or meeting notes recorded, uh, use AI to make it, you know, in various ways to make it efficient or to get more out of it.

And the coaches could be nutritionists, therapists, executive coach, you know, could be wide ranging. And then ultimately there's an opportunity in what we call clinic. And, um, that might mean proprietary products and our partnering with third parties to help men with everything from reptile dysfunction, hair loss, um, or just be a great curated source of, of, of wider products.

We touched on a way to that. Um, you know, there's a lot of great products out there that are relevant to men, but like, how do I know, how do I know about them all and which ones are really good products that we could, we could help. We, you know, if we build a really strong community, we could be the trusted source of products, both clinic and maybe also out of clinic, normal e commerce type products.[00:42:00]

Um, so there's a lot there. Uh, we're, we're, we're, we're just getting started, but we're very ambitious. And, uh, we're currently doing our seed round. We did our friends and family round earlier this year. And you know, next year we'll begin to work towards our, our ABC round and really attack the opportunity.

D Brent Dowlen: Sounds like you have a lot of things in store for this app. It's not going to say just what you guys saw on my phone guys. It's growing. They're ambitious. They're just getting started. And they are working to serve the world of men. Now, Emmett, aside from obviously checking out Pitstop and getting involved with Pitstop, what are the first three steps that our men should take if they're interested in personal development?

Emmett Kilduff: I start the conversation, number one. Um, don't be shy. I it's empowering once you start the conversation, that's, that's, that's [00:43:00] the first step, the first thing. I would, uh, be, uh, adopt, read about, or adopt, learn about a growth mindset. Um, to me, when people ask me, what's your number one recommendation? I say, that's my answer is understand and try to adopt a growth mindset because everything else can lead from there.

It makes you more of a promiscuous, experimental, lifelong learner. And that sort of, you know, is fundamental to growth. Um, if you're not willing to learn and adapt and change and grow, then, you know, Uh, you won't have personal grub and you stand feel frankly, you're you're you're you're falling behind um, so i'd say yeah start the conversation, um, learn about the growth mindset and Um, be authentic maybe is the last one.

Um, I think there's an issue with male toxicity and uh,[00:44:00]

Uh, I think, I think for the sake of our kids and the next generation, uh, there's sort of, it feels like we're at an inflection point, you know, with our, our, our dads and grandfathers, you know, didn't talk about this stuff and were, were, had their way of doing things. I, um, I think we really have to be authentic and help, you know, Or the future generation of boys and men, and, you know, we're, we're, we, we have pissed off our time to do that, and we'd love to help, help, um, school students, college students, um, uh, by being authentic, uh, and not, not saying that everyone has to be up doing an ice bath at 4 a.

  1. That's just not realistic for everybody. Some people are night owls, right? So, you know, naturally, if you listen to humor on that, some people are meant to start late and finish late. So, uh, how could they be doing that? It's not natural. So that's, that's the offense. And keep the conversation real.

D Brent Dowlen: I like it.

I like it. Now, [00:45:00] Emmett, uh, right now let me throw up here. Website is www, right? You guys know this stuff right? Pit stop. Did I, did I miss a part of that? Nope. Take, sorry. Take a stops.

Emmett Kilduff: Take a pit stop. We're trying to create a verb. Yeah. Take a stop. Take some, take some time. Right? Even five to 10 minutes a day, Brent, and actually, you know, reflect on one's life and priorities and so on.

D Brent Dowlen: Oh man, I got it wrong. I even have it up on the screen and I got it wrong saying that that's, that's just what we do here at the Fallible, man. We screw things up. No guys, I'll have all of Emmett's links. If you're interested in the app, if you're interested in following Pissed Off, they've got a great Instagram going.

Uh, I spent some time on that. They're working on their podcast. They've got all kinds of stuff going. We're going to have all those links down in the show notes for you guys. So you can connect with them so you can find out more about it. [00:46:00] What is the most important thing you want them to hear today?

Emmett Kilduff: You've got some great tough questions today. Um, I would say that, um, there's

lots of upside. I think, I think me and, um, lots of other men around the world, there's huge upside in terms of personal growth and that can help society and it can help the future generation. Um, so, so be experimental, be promiscuous and, um, you know, try to be a lifelong learner and try to, you know, have that growth mindset.

D Brent Dowlen: Guys, if you're getting something out of this today, don't forget, there's a free download on my website that accompanies this. That's got some of the high points. There's got a checklist so you can start on this trip on your own. Uh, I don't ask for, I don't ask for your email or anything. [00:47:00] Just go get it that way.

You know, it's a PDF, so you can download it straight to your phone. Action. I'm big into action as well. Myself in it. So thank you for that guys for Emmett and myself be better tomorrow because what you do today, and we'll see on the next one,

David McCarter: this has been the fellow man podcast, your home for everything, man, husband, and father, be sure to subscribe.

So you don't miss a show, head over to www. thefallibleman. com for more content and get your own fallible man gear.

Emmett Kilduff Profile Photo

Emmett Kilduff

Founder and Chairman of Pitstop

Emmett Kilduff had built a successful career as an investment banker at firms like Morgan
Stanley. But the entrepreneurial spirit ran deep – he was the son of a tech entrepreneur, after
all – and the call to create his own venture was always strong.
Two years ago, at age 45, Emmett was already running two companies of his own – but his life
took an unexpected turn after undergoing a heart procedure. Forced to confront his mortality,
he realized that even if he made it to 80, he only had around 1,700 weeks left.This stark realization shook him to his core and instilled him with a new determination to make every remaining moment count.
Frustrated by the lack of resources to help optimize his life, Emmett saw an opportunity. While society taught skills like acing exams, he was surprised few taught the art of truly living life to the fullest. So, he created his own framework built on three pillars: content, chat, and change – the 3 Cs.
Emmett voraciously consumed self-development books and podcasts, sought wisdom from
friends and family, bravely setting aside any stigma. He also made some big changes: getting
testosterone treatment after discovering a deficiency (boosting energy and mood), engaging a therapist for deeper self understanding, and adopting weighted vest workouts to improve health and longevity.
These transformative experiences inspired his fourth business venture – Pitstop. More than just
an app, it's a mission to empower men worldwide to live their best lives and create a better
foundation for future generations – incl… Read More

Related to this Episode

The Wheel of Life: Balancing Priorities for Holistic Masculine Growth

Life's a journey, gentlemen, and sometimes we're our own biggest roadblock. As men, we often find ourselves stuck in a rut, wondering if there's more to life than the daily grind. Well, I'm here to tell you that there absolutely is, and it all start…