Navigating Parenthood: The Key Question Fathers Should Address for Their Children

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Navigating parenthood is
perhaps one of the greatest

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challenges men will ever face.

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Do you know there's one key
question fathers need to

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address for their children?

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Fatherhood is not for the
weak or faint of heart.

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We've done a lot of shows on the
fatherhood over the season, um, on

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the fatherhood, on fatherhood over
the seasons here, but this is the

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foundational questions your kid needs
answered by you and it will affect

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them for the rest of their lives.

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So let's get into it.

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Here's the million dollar question.

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How do men like us reach
our full potential?

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Growing to the men we dream of being
while taking care of our responsibilities,

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working, being good husbands, fathers,
and still take care of ourselves.

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Well, that's the big question.

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In this podcast, we'll help you
answer those questions and more.

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My name is Brent and welcome
to the Fallible Man Podcast.

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So I was having an incredible
conversation with Jason and

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Matt from dad camp this week.

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You guys will really enjoy that interview
when it comes out later this year.

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I think that was around June sometime.

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We talked about all kinds of things,
fatherhood, but one of the simple

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things that came down as we talk
is universally, every boy and every

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girl have a specific question that
they need answered from their dads.

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Now, like I said, don't skip the episode
because there's a whole lot more than

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this one point, but this point deserves
its own show because it's so important.

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This is essentially the same question,
but it sounds a little different because

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of their base wiring as boys and girls.

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But it is the fundamental foundation
that sets everything in motion

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for the rest of their lives.

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By the way, Hey, my name is Brent and
welcome to the Fallible Man podcast.

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You're home for all things, man.

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Big shout out Fallible Nation.

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That's our, what we call
our long time listener base.

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It's been hanging out with us for a
long time as we're in season five.

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And Hey, a warm welcome to
our first time listeners.

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Thanks for checking us out.

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We know there's a lot competing
for your attention out there.

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And so it means a lot that
you're giving us champ.

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We hope chance.

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We hope you're giving it means a lot
that you're giving us a chance guys.

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And yes, I'm normally the silly and no
matter how many times I do this intro, I

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still like to flub it every now and then.

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So, Hey, Thanks for checking us out.

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If you enjoy the show, we'd
love to hear what you think.

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You can connect with me at the
fallible man on Instagram or

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basically any social media platform.

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I'd love to hear your opinion on it.

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If you really enjoy the show, be
sure to share it with a friend

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that would benefit from the show or
leave us review on Apple podcast.

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That helps us get more visibility
and a stick around for more shows to

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come because we do this twice a week.

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Now guys, for those of you who enjoyed the
cliff notes version, here's the questions.

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For a boy, it's, do I have what it takes?

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This is the question you will
need to answer for a little

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boy for the rest of his life.

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For a girl, it's, am I beautiful?

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Am I lovely?

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Am I worth fighting for?

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I know that sounds like more
than one question, but it's not.

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It actually is essentially the same
question, but with a little girl,

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she needs a more emotional approach
to that answer, just in the base

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difference in the way we're wiring.

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Same question.

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The difference is the emotional
and mental wiring between a

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little boy and a little girl.

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It's a question that will stick with
them for the rest of their lives.

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It's something you'll be
validating for the rest of their

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lives, if you're a good father.

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Now you can leave if that's enough,
but I encourage you to stick around.

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I'm going to break it down
just a little bit further.

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We won't take a real long time, but
we're going to rock that out just

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a little bit more and look at what
it looks like in the real world.

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Whatever you need to do to process
this data, as long as you get this

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point, these are the questions
you need to answer for your kids.

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For a boy, I'm a 44 year old, okay?

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My father passed a little
over two years ago.

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Until the day he passed, I was still
looking for this validation, even

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though I have two kids of my own now.

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Boys need to hear that they have
what it takes, that they're enough.

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I've not known a lot of men in my life
who did not get this from their father.

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Men who don't get this validation
struggle for the rest of their lives,

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looking for this validation for men.

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They look up to whether it's peers
or bosses, people who are over them,

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people who are in their circle.

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However, it will not fill the hole that's
created by a father, not validating this.

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I've seen this time and time
again, where men struggle with

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this for their whole lives.

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So fathers, it's really important
that you're answering this question

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for your son and you're going to
do so for the rest of your lives.

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Now, as a dad, here's how we
play this out in the real world.

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For no reason at all, regularly
tell your son, you love him.

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And just as importantly, if not
more importantly, that you are

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proud of him for no reason at all.

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Do it specifically at times where there
is air quotes, no reason, not when they do

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well, not when they succeed at something,
not when they're outstanding or excel.

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Now it's okay to do it then.

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Okay.

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It's more important that you do it just
for no other reason than they're yours.

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Equally important, maybe more
important is you want to do it for no

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reason at all in front of other men.

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Validate that they are
enough in front of other men.

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Tell them that you're proud of them
just because they're yours, that you

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love them, that they are incredible.

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They're awesome for no reason at
all and do so in front of other men.

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This will set them on a good path moving
forward for the rest of their lives.

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And this is something you'll
do time and time again.

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For girls, your daughter's self esteem.

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is based on this set of questions.

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It's the same question as for a boy, but
the girls generally have a little more

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emotional connection in their brain, the
way their emotions are wired versus boys.

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And so this is a more emotional
affirmation than you're going

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to do with a little boy while he
still needs emotional affirmation.

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He's getting that from just the, I'm
proud of you in front of other men.

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That is the same thing for a little girl.

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She's why you're slightly different.

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So, and as a girl that I'm really
in touch with this one, she will

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look to how her father sees her to
base her self esteem and self image.

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You are literally
setting the ground level.

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For her own self image and self
esteem for the rest of her life.

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So when all the nasty little kid
nonsense hits the mean girls at

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school, the kids who are just cruel
for no reason, because God knows

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there's a lot of them as young people.

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I don't know why young people are so mean
to each other, but we all went through it

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and God forbid in dealing with boys in her
life, Her response to it will be based on

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how well you've answered this question for
her and how well you built her with this.

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Girls who have poor relationships
with their fathers frequently have

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crazy daddy issues, including, but not
limited to, being more promiscuous.

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We're likely to get knocked up out of
wedlock and God forbid while they're

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still in school, even more prone to accept
abusive relationships and be abused, more

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likely to experiment with substances and
have emotional and mental difficulties,

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challenges in their lives and more like,
I can't even like, that's a whole nother

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show to go down this rabbit hole of the
absence of fatherhood, especially in a

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girl's life, but in a boy's life too.

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You have a huge impact on her future.

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And it starts with
answering, am I beautiful?

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Am I lovely?

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Am I worth fighting for?

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Am I enough?

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You don't get that reference.

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I'll clear that up in a second.

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Now, as a dad, here's how you
play this out in the real world.

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For no reason at all.

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Regularly tell your
daughter, you love her.

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Yeah.

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Sounds familiar, right?

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We said that about the boy.

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Tell her she's beautiful.

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She's amazing.

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Tell her she's special,
but you need to go farther.

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Take them out on daddy daughter dates to
public places, hold their hands in public.

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Be affectionate with them.

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Appropriately, of course.

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I shouldn't have to clarify that,
but these days people are weird.

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You know, open doors for them.

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Pull out chairs for them.

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Treat her like a queen.

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Big thing.

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It's like super big thing.

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Listen to her when she talks.

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Like there's nothing else
going on in your world.

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I don't care if you're
talking about Harry Potter.

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My daughters and I talk
Harry Potter a lot.

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Or if you're talking about an
imaginary world that she's creating.

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Or a tea party.

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Or if you're talking
politics, listen to her.

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Like there's nothing else in the world.

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Put your phone down and be present.

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You are setting the standard.

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She will hold boys to and enforcing
her value, her own value in her mind.

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Okay.

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This is critical guys.

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This is absolutely critical.

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And if you want some proof of this.

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I will link my episode down in the
show notes are in the description.

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If you're on YouTube, I will link the
episode with Peter and Belle Anthony.

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So you can hear from a daughter in her
own words, the episode is called trauma, a

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father's love and hope the Peter and Belle
Anthony story, like it spurred a whole

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movement that's happening in Australia.

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And I'm grateful that I got to talk
to those two, but it is a father

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dollar story that will just help you
understand just how real this is.

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These two questions, whether
for a boy or for a girl, Right?

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Am I enough?

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Do I have what it takes?

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Am I beautiful?

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Am I lovely?

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Am I worth fighting for?

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If you can answer this for your children,
and like I said, you'll do so for the

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rest of your life, if you will answer this
over and over and over again and reinforce

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that they are, that they are enough, that
they are amazing, that they are beautiful.

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You are proud of them.

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You're setting your children up
for so much better of a future.

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There are a lot of other
things you can do as a dad.

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And like I said, we have
a lot of dad episodes.

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I'll try and link one of those too, but
I promise you these two questions are

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crucial as a father to reaffirm with
your children over and over and over

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again, will make a huge difference in
their lives for the rest of their lives.

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Not going to beat a dead horse.

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So thanks for checking us out.

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Thanks for hanging out and listening today
and be better tomorrow because of what you

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do today and we'll see on the next one.

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This has been the Fallible Man podcast.

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Your home for everything
man, husband, and father.

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Head over to www.

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thefallibleman.

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com for more content and get
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