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Nothing Changes until your Mind Changes | 9 Mindset Changes to make BEFORE 2023

Nothing Changes until your Mind Changes | 9 Mindset Changes to make BEFORE 2023

Do you feel like you are losing? Do you struggle with feeling like you’re not enough? Struggling with what seems like nothing but dead ends in your life? You are not alone. The last few years have been really hard on people emotionally and mentally. Peop...

Do you feel like you are losing? Do you struggle with feeling like you’re not enough? Struggling with what seems like nothing but dead ends in your life? You are not alone. The last few years have been really hard on people emotionally and mentally. People’s confidence in the next year being better is pretty low too. "Everybody has value, everybody has purpose. And everyone has something to contribute and something to offer." Changing your mindset is not about reading the latest self-help book or attending personal development seminars. Changing your mindset is comes from inside your heart and head itself.  The first step is to move yourself into just being concerned with what you have the power to affect, and that, that is you. On today’s show I want to share with you 9 mindsets that could be hurting your forward progress and your overall outlook on life. Dirty little whispers that are like someone speaking poison in your ear.

Today we are going to put label on them so you can address them if they are creeping into your life and kick them out. As the mind goes the rest of your world will follow and having these kinds of toxic thoughts in your head will wreck you. In this episode, you will learn the following: 1. What are some mindsets that could be holding you back from reaching your full potential? 2. Where some of those mindsets come from so you can address the root cause. 3. Why they are unhealthy and why you should chose to kick them out of your life.. Resources: The Phoenix Men’s Conference: “Man on a Mission!” February 10th&11th

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Other episodes you'll enjoy: 7 Proven Truths for Men who Want to Results in their Life | Wisdom from the Movie Fight Club

https://www.thefalliblemanpodcast.com/7-proven-truths-for-men-who-want-to-results-in-their-life-wisdom-from-the-movie-fight-club/

7 Bad Habits Every REAL Man Should Give Up!

https://www.thefalliblemanpodcast.com/7-bad-habits-every-real-man-should-give-up/

What Successful People do that Most People DON’T (but YOU can!)

https://www.thefalliblemanpodcast.com/what-successful-people-do-that-most-people-dont-but-you-can/

 

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Transcript
1 00:00:00,330 --> 00:00:01,440 Do you feel like you're losing? 2 00:00:01,890 --> 00:00:04,410 Do you struggle with feeling like you're not enough? 3 00:00:05,070 --> 00:00:08,640 Struggling with what seems like nothing but dead ends in your life? 4 00:00:09,090 --> 00:00:09,990 Well, you're not alone. 5 00:00:10,380 --> 00:00:14,880 The last few years have been really hard on people, emotionally and mentally. 6 00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:20,130 People's confidence in next year being better, it's not even that 7 00:00:20,130 --> 00:00:21,720 high at the moment, is pretty low. 8 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:26,310 The first step is to move yourself into just being concerned with what 9 00:00:26,315 --> 00:00:28,410 you have the power to affect that. 10 00:00:28,770 --> 00:00:29,040 That's. 11 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,820 On today's show, I wanna share with you nine different mindsets that 12 00:00:32,820 --> 00:00:36,510 could be hurting your forward progress and your overall outlook on life. 13 00:00:37,019 --> 00:00:40,320 Dirty little whispers that are like someone speaking poison in your ear. 14 00:00:40,950 --> 00:00:44,280 Today we're gonna put a label on 'em so you can address them if they're 15 00:00:44,285 --> 00:00:46,019 creeping in your life and kick them out. 16 00:00:47,070 --> 00:00:48,989 As the mind goes, the rest of your war will follow. 17 00:00:48,989 --> 00:00:51,780 And having these kind of toxic thoughts in your head will wreck you 18 00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:55,590 and prevent you from reaching all the things you wanna do in your life. 19 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:58,800 So let's start right off the bat with a mindset I'm use. 20 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:04,110 Now this mindset is often coming from years of negative talk from people 21 00:01:04,110 --> 00:01:10,170 we looked up to being told you have no value and nothing to offer doing. 22 00:01:10,284 --> 00:01:14,304 People saying things like, Do something, use useless ways of space. 23 00:01:14,904 --> 00:01:16,164 What are you good for? 24 00:01:16,228 --> 00:01:19,160 People You can imagine this, if you haven't lived through it, then maybe 25 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,750 you saw it in a movie, but right. 26 00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:22,970 People actually talk to other people. 27 00:01:22,970 --> 00:01:23,570 This way. 28 00:01:24,830 --> 00:01:26,030 You have no value. 29 00:01:26,465 --> 00:01:28,595 Has been drilled into this person's head. 30 00:01:29,555 --> 00:01:31,655 Guys, we have to say goodbye to my this mindset. 31 00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:35,555 Everyone has value, everyone has purpose, and everyone has something 32 00:01:35,555 --> 00:01:37,895 to contribute and something to offer. 33 00:01:39,155 --> 00:01:42,995 900 years of time and space, and I've never met anyone who wasn't important. 34 00:01:43,535 --> 00:01:44,015 It's Dr. 35 00:01:44,015 --> 00:01:47,235 Who now, guys, I know it's fiction, but guess what? 36 00:01:47,235 --> 00:01:49,835 Fiction has never been more accurate. 37 00:01:50,375 --> 00:01:54,245 You are valuable and you have a purpose just waiting for you to find. 38 00:01:55,010 --> 00:01:57,320 So let's start looking for what that is. 39 00:01:57,890 --> 00:01:59,990 Let's roll into that intro and we're gonna keep on going. 40 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:02,750 Here's the million dollar question. 41 00:02:03,230 --> 00:02:06,950 How do men like us reach our full potential and grow into the men we 42 00:02:06,950 --> 00:02:10,830 dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working, 43 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:15,740 being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves? 44 00:02:16,610 --> 00:02:18,260 That's the question in this podcast. 45 00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:19,925 We'll help you with those answers. 46 00:02:19,925 --> 00:02:23,135 My name is Brent and welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast. 47 00:02:23,345 --> 00:02:25,385 Welcome to the Fallible Man Podcast, Your home for all 48 00:02:25,385 --> 00:02:26,855 things, man, husband, and father. 49 00:02:26,975 --> 00:02:30,575 Big shout out to my fallible nation and a warm welcome to our first time listeners. 50 00:02:30,965 --> 00:02:33,995 My name is Brent, and today we're talking about nine mindset changes 51 00:02:33,995 --> 00:02:38,615 to make before 2023, because nothing changes until your mind changes. 52 00:02:39,755 --> 00:02:43,025 Guys, we already talked about that first one, but number one on this list 53 00:02:43,025 --> 00:02:44,885 is what if you, They don't approve. 54 00:02:45,695 --> 00:02:47,285 This mindset affects people who. 55 00:02:48,215 --> 00:02:52,895 Addicted to external validation and is far more prevalent than most people realize. 56 00:02:53,555 --> 00:02:57,035 Social media has actually further compounded this problem that 57 00:02:57,035 --> 00:02:58,355 has always existed in life. 58 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,535 It's not new, but social media is just like compounding this. 59 00:03:02,075 --> 00:03:06,155 Some people call them people pleasers, but this is all about validation. 60 00:03:06,905 --> 00:03:10,175 The mindset comes from a low self-esteem and low self-worth. 61 00:03:11,735 --> 00:03:15,215 Internal talk like, I don't like me, but if other people approve, then I must be. 62 00:03:16,340 --> 00:03:21,770 This mindset leaves you open to be taking advantage of or abused by people. 63 00:03:22,190 --> 00:03:26,720 People will friend people with this mindset because they can take 64 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,940 advantage of them for personal gain. 65 00:03:28,945 --> 00:03:33,500 Likewise, companies will actually abuse their employees on this by playing to 66 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:36,080 that same need to get more out of them. 67 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,440 Then they expect to help other people because they know you 68 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:40,970 need that external validation. 69 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,180 You are valuable just as you. 70 00:03:45,410 --> 00:03:47,360 You have to start loving and accepting yourself. 71 00:03:47,690 --> 00:03:51,950 You can dislike things about yourself and work to change them, but you have 72 00:03:51,950 --> 00:03:54,050 to learn to love and respect yourself. 73 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:57,680 Guys, mindset number two is change is scary. 74 00:03:58,430 --> 00:04:00,710 This is a really common mindset. 75 00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:05,090 A lot of people are just not comfortable or just uncomfortable, I should 76 00:04:05,090 --> 00:04:09,730 say, not comfortable with change, but they're terrified of change. 77 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:12,935 Change is the very essence of life. 78 00:04:12,965 --> 00:04:16,565 There's almost nothing in existence that does not change. 79 00:04:17,225 --> 00:04:23,285 The only true constant in life is actually change cuz everything constantly changes. 80 00:04:23,765 --> 00:04:27,335 World is in a constant flow of change. 81 00:04:28,205 --> 00:04:34,055 Growth seasons, weather situations, like everything is in constant flux. 82 00:04:35,390 --> 00:04:36,950 Change can be really uncomfortable. 83 00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:38,510 I don't like, I don't love change. 84 00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:42,020 I'll admit guys, if you listened to the show before, you know, I 85 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:44,540 like my boring, repetitious life. 86 00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:48,200 I eat the same foods, I go to the same places because it's comfortable. 87 00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:51,860 It doesn't make change bad, it's just annoying. 88 00:04:52,610 --> 00:04:54,770 There's nothing wrong with a little discomfort. 89 00:04:55,280 --> 00:05:00,320 Focus on growing yourself and it will help make change less disturbing 90 00:05:00,740 --> 00:05:04,100 and feel less like it's causing things to spiral out of control. 91 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,355 because the more you develop yourself, the more control you're gonna 92 00:05:07,355 --> 00:05:08,495 feel like you have in your life. 93 00:05:08,585 --> 00:05:12,125 Anyway, so this one, we gotta kick it to the curb. 94 00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:12,395 Guys. 95 00:05:12,635 --> 00:05:15,965 2023 is incredibly just right around the corner. 96 00:05:16,017 --> 00:05:19,374 We just hit the beginning of November and it's right there. 97 00:05:19,374 --> 00:05:21,684 So two months, guys, this one's gotta go. 98 00:05:22,434 --> 00:05:25,914 Number three, the grass is always greener mindset. 99 00:05:26,334 --> 00:05:28,874 This mindset expresses to itself usually in two. 100 00:05:29,649 --> 00:05:32,679 The first is daydreaming for things that we don't have. 101 00:05:33,369 --> 00:05:35,049 And this isn't always bad. 102 00:05:35,049 --> 00:05:42,489 This can be inspiring and motivate you to grow and to change to become better, or 103 00:05:42,849 --> 00:05:47,379 this can actually simply make you envious and become bitter about the things that 104 00:05:47,379 --> 00:05:49,449 other people see have that you don't. 105 00:05:50,439 --> 00:05:55,029 So it's kind of this double edged sword, but the one that most men often 106 00:05:55,029 --> 00:05:58,209 struggle with is the good old glory days. 107 00:05:59,244 --> 00:06:03,894 We dream of simpler times with less responsibility and more positive feedback, 108 00:06:03,894 --> 00:06:06,654 cuz we usually got that in the glory days. 109 00:06:06,659 --> 00:06:09,914 And I don't know why the glory days are always like college or high 110 00:06:09,919 --> 00:06:13,494 school, but that seems to be where we like to go back to right when we 111 00:06:13,494 --> 00:06:17,214 were bigger fish than we are now. 112 00:06:18,234 --> 00:06:21,864 And you may not have been the biggest fish in the pond, but the pond was smaller. 113 00:06:22,284 --> 00:06:26,784 So relatively we think we didn't feel as small as we do sometimes in our own. 114 00:06:27,609 --> 00:06:32,619 Sometimes in our own lives, we start to feel really small in this giant ocean, and 115 00:06:32,619 --> 00:06:35,829 so we start drifting into the glory days. 116 00:06:36,999 --> 00:06:42,099 Well, the ironic part is in the glory days, we were dreaming of the 117 00:06:42,104 --> 00:06:45,549 day when we would leave all that behind and move into the real world. 118 00:06:46,479 --> 00:06:50,532 We tend to remember the good times and shut out the rest of it so that 119 00:06:50,652 --> 00:06:53,802 we naturally later in life only remember the good things, right? 120 00:06:53,802 --> 00:06:54,882 The farther we get from. 121 00:06:55,737 --> 00:06:59,157 We tune out all the bad and gain some understanding and perspective. 122 00:06:59,162 --> 00:07:02,637 So it wasn't so bad to us with the perspective we gain. 123 00:07:03,087 --> 00:07:04,887 And then we only focus on the good things. 124 00:07:05,397 --> 00:07:11,127 And so as life gets hectic, we start going, Oh man, dude, I remember when. 125 00:07:11,727 --> 00:07:15,327 And you can actually build a circle of friends that will perpetuate 126 00:07:15,417 --> 00:07:19,407 this mental safe for you, this mindset, and that's not healthy. 127 00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:21,688 The grass is greener, is a lie. 128 00:07:21,693 --> 00:07:23,427 We tell ourselves to escape how we're feeling. 129 00:07:23,427 --> 00:07:24,347 Right now. 130 00:07:25,427 --> 00:07:27,702 Until you get your head in the right space, the grass will 131 00:07:27,702 --> 00:07:28,932 always be greener somewhere else. 132 00:07:28,932 --> 00:07:30,492 Guys, it's just a fact. 133 00:07:31,632 --> 00:07:32,712 It's a perspective issue. 134 00:07:32,772 --> 00:07:36,132 Until you get your mindset right, you'll always see the 135 00:07:36,132 --> 00:07:37,662 grass greener somewhere else. 136 00:07:37,667 --> 00:07:40,130 Whether that's in somewhere where you dream of being or 137 00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:41,330 somewhere where you've been. 138 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,890 You'll always be somewhere wishing you were somewhere else. 139 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:49,310 And unfortunately, if you don't learn to be in the present right there, 140 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,440 you'll miss the best parts of your. 141 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:55,175 Because being present in the moment is way more powerful and 142 00:07:55,175 --> 00:08:00,005 way more rewarding than the glory days or the grass somewhere else. 143 00:08:00,365 --> 00:08:03,635 Learn to be present now and just decide that you'll fertilize the crap 144 00:08:03,635 --> 00:08:05,105 outta the grass, wherever you are. 145 00:08:05,135 --> 00:08:05,465 Okay? 146 00:08:05,855 --> 00:08:06,905 Build new memories. 147 00:08:07,715 --> 00:08:10,565 Build the person you want to be, and just make now the most 148 00:08:10,565 --> 00:08:12,545 amazing time you can do it. 149 00:08:12,725 --> 00:08:13,595 I believe in you. 150 00:08:14,645 --> 00:08:19,505 Number four, it has to be perfect, guys. 151 00:08:19,505 --> 00:08:21,035 Perfectionism will prevent you from. 152 00:08:22,935 --> 00:08:26,225 Wherever you want to be in business, in relationships, in personal 153 00:08:26,225 --> 00:08:28,145 development, hobbies, and anywhere else. 154 00:08:29,105 --> 00:08:33,485 Perfectionism is one of the greatest lies we ever tell ourselves, and it's 155 00:08:33,485 --> 00:08:38,675 also one of the things that handicaps more people in succeeding in life. 156 00:08:39,155 --> 00:08:42,545 It ends more potential greatness than most things ever will. 157 00:08:43,625 --> 00:08:48,125 More ideas, inventions, and performances never see the light of day because. 158 00:08:48,780 --> 00:08:50,480 It's not quite perfect yet. 159 00:08:51,410 --> 00:08:52,520 I love the old meme. 160 00:08:52,910 --> 00:08:58,520 Back when memes were comics in newspapers, I know I'm dating myself here, but it was 161 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:02,720 a picture of female skeletons sitting on a couch, or sorry, not sitting on the couch, 162 00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:07,520 sitting on a park bench with the caption, still waiting for the perfect man. 163 00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:10,760 Guys, perfection doesn't exist. 164 00:09:11,060 --> 00:09:11,660 It really doesn't. 165 00:09:11,690 --> 00:09:12,740 There's always a flaw. 166 00:09:13,550 --> 00:09:16,250 People will always find something wrong with their own ideas. 167 00:09:17,915 --> 00:09:19,775 Give it your best and then let it loose. 168 00:09:20,765 --> 00:09:25,025 You'll learn more from that than you will ever achieve in the early concepts of your 169 00:09:25,025 --> 00:09:27,065 work until you actually put it out there. 170 00:09:28,055 --> 00:09:29,465 You can't refine it to its best day. 171 00:09:29,470 --> 00:09:32,075 Anyways, start messy. 172 00:09:32,255 --> 00:09:33,155 Be proud of it. 173 00:09:33,845 --> 00:09:37,505 One day you'll look back and see how very far you've come from 174 00:09:37,505 --> 00:09:42,155 where you started, and you will be amazed at what happened when you 175 00:09:42,155 --> 00:09:43,835 finally just turned the ideal loose. 176 00:09:43,895 --> 00:09:45,845 Are the thing loose and let it. 177 00:09:48,065 --> 00:09:51,815 Now guys, we've been going through the nine mindset changes to make before 2023. 178 00:09:51,815 --> 00:09:53,885 So far we've kept off five. 179 00:09:54,815 --> 00:09:58,595 In the second half of the show, we're gonna crush the other four and 180 00:09:58,595 --> 00:10:00,845 we're rolling through the show fast, so it's gonna be a short episode. 181 00:10:00,845 --> 00:10:02,255 So hey, congratulations. 182 00:10:02,260 --> 00:10:03,395 You might make it to the end of it. 183 00:10:03,635 --> 00:10:05,855 We're gonna roll to our sponsors and we will be right back. 184 00:10:06,395 --> 00:10:11,465 I'm calling on All men right now to stand up and stand against this horrific. 185 00:10:12,380 --> 00:10:16,280 It is estimated over 300,000 children are being sex trafficked in the 186 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,380 United States alone every single day. 187 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,240 I want you to get on your social media. 188 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:24,380 I want you to follow savinginnocence.org or fightforme.net. 189 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:29,300 Both these charities are working to end child trafficking in 190 00:10:29,305 --> 00:10:30,800 the United States and abroad. 191 00:10:31,310 --> 00:10:37,140 You can donate at www.thefallibleman.com/shop and 192 00:10:37,140 --> 00:10:41,360 buy our end human trafficking merchandise and all proceeds will. 193 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:45,875 Given indefinitely to savinginnocence.org, you can also go 194 00:10:45,875 --> 00:10:53,255 to www.savinginnocence.org/donate and donate directly to Saving Innocence Men. 195 00:10:53,255 --> 00:10:57,845 It is time for us to fight and stop this horrible thing known as human trafficking. 196 00:10:57,875 --> 00:10:58,595 Guys, welcome back. 197 00:10:58,595 --> 00:11:01,925 We're here discussing nine mindset changes to make before 2023. 198 00:11:01,925 --> 00:11:04,385 In the first half of the show, we cover five different mindsets, 199 00:11:04,385 --> 00:11:05,675 so go back and catch those. 200 00:11:05,675 --> 00:11:06,785 If you're just now joining. 201 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,810 We're going to dive into four more mindsets that we absolutely 202 00:11:11,810 --> 00:11:14,660 need to crush before 2023 guys. 203 00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:17,060 And 2023 is two months away. 204 00:11:17,060 --> 00:11:18,230 We are right there. 205 00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:22,490 I cannot believe how fast the year is flying by now. 206 00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:24,830 Let's jump right back into this with number five. 207 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,770 I need to fit in guys. 208 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:31,070 Being afraid to be different is so high school. 209 00:11:31,070 --> 00:11:31,180 man. 210 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:31,740 Sorry. 211 00:11:32,610 --> 00:11:34,080 It's my inner idiot coming. 212 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:38,187 One of the funniest observations I've made in my limited lifetime is the her 213 00:11:38,187 --> 00:11:40,257 mentality we all have about fitting in. 214 00:11:40,557 --> 00:11:41,067 Conform. 215 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:41,967 Conform, conform. 216 00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:42,597 Yeah. 217 00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:49,677 But then you have other groups of people who are non-conformist and they 218 00:11:49,682 --> 00:11:52,200 wanna be individuals and not conform. 219 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:56,446 The funny thing is, the non-conformists who wanna be individuals all end 220 00:11:56,446 --> 00:11:58,636 up just creating another sub. 221 00:11:59,461 --> 00:12:01,542 They all ends up looking the same anyway, right? 222 00:12:01,542 --> 00:12:07,182 All the nonconformists kind of look the same, and all these nonconformists 223 00:12:07,182 --> 00:12:08,952 kind of look the same, right? 224 00:12:09,432 --> 00:12:13,032 We get into this hard mentality and we're like, Oh, we're gonna be individuals, 225 00:12:13,037 --> 00:12:18,282 we're gonna be different, and then we all look the same, and so there's this 226 00:12:18,702 --> 00:12:21,732 crazy need for people to want to fit in. 227 00:12:22,452 --> 00:12:26,832 Now this is high school all over again, so please stop trying to fit in with the it. 228 00:12:27,832 --> 00:12:31,762 Just be the amazing person you were meant to be. 229 00:12:32,872 --> 00:12:34,492 What exactly are we trying to fit into? 230 00:12:34,492 --> 00:12:37,612 By the way, keeping up with the Joneses will financially break 231 00:12:37,612 --> 00:12:39,172 everyone but the Joneses, right? 232 00:12:39,177 --> 00:12:40,222 So that mentality doesn't work. 233 00:12:40,312 --> 00:12:43,612 You can't follow the cool crowd because everyone has a different 234 00:12:43,612 --> 00:12:45,502 idea of what the cool crowd is. 235 00:12:46,372 --> 00:12:51,592 You can't try and fit in with your peer, or you can try and fit in with your peers, 236 00:12:51,592 --> 00:12:53,602 but it's really just crabs in a bucket. 237 00:12:54,742 --> 00:12:58,462 The show, American Psycho was actually hilarious because they all wanted 238 00:12:58,462 --> 00:13:02,122 to conform to one image, but were still trying to one up each other 239 00:13:03,022 --> 00:13:05,662 with all of them doing the same exact things to one up each other. 240 00:13:05,662 --> 00:13:11,632 It was a great commentary on social aspects in that way, but otherwise it 241 00:13:11,637 --> 00:13:16,402 was a little crazy . But guys, figure out what you want for your life. 242 00:13:16,912 --> 00:13:17,782 Make a plan. 243 00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:19,147 Execute it. 244 00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:19,927 You know what? 245 00:13:19,927 --> 00:13:21,097 Some people will laugh. 246 00:13:21,307 --> 00:13:25,567 Some people will tell you you're wrong or you're crazy, or you're an idiot, but 247 00:13:25,567 --> 00:13:27,427 you're gonna get to where you want to go. 248 00:13:27,967 --> 00:13:31,297 So stop worrying about what the idiots are telling you is not cool or not 249 00:13:31,297 --> 00:13:35,287 your work, or laughing about, and just focus on what you're trying to 250 00:13:35,287 --> 00:13:37,657 achieve and forget what they're saying. 251 00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:39,337 Stop worrying about fitting in. 252 00:13:39,337 --> 00:13:40,177 This isn't high school. 253 00:13:41,377 --> 00:13:46,327 You are a unique individual from your perspective and your experiences, and you 254 00:13:46,327 --> 00:13:48,037 have your unique, your own unique goals. 255 00:13:48,037 --> 00:13:49,057 So go after those. 256 00:13:50,587 --> 00:13:51,517 Screw everybody else. 257 00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:53,017 Just be who you were meant to be. 258 00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:54,817 Number six. 259 00:13:56,197 --> 00:13:57,727 Number six is I'm a screw up. 260 00:13:58,717 --> 00:14:01,777 Beating yourself up over mistakes over and over and over again. 261 00:14:02,347 --> 00:14:03,997 These are people in the world. 262 00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:08,078 I wish I could, I wish I could, like I, I. 263 00:14:08,628 --> 00:14:08,928 Okay. 264 00:14:08,928 --> 00:14:12,048 I'm not always a hugger, but I really feel like I want to just hug these 265 00:14:12,048 --> 00:14:17,808 people and then I want to go back in time and just slap the ever loving crap 266 00:14:17,868 --> 00:14:22,878 out of any of their parents or indivi individuals who affected them this way. 267 00:14:22,878 --> 00:14:24,528 Cuz I know people who are like this. 268 00:14:26,178 --> 00:14:28,248 Some of them were parents who did this to their kids. 269 00:14:28,488 --> 00:14:31,398 Some of them were adults who were important. 270 00:14:31,419 --> 00:14:34,329 Mentors, teachers, coaches. 271 00:14:35,879 --> 00:14:39,384 and this unhealthy mindset comes from parents and authority figures. 272 00:14:39,894 --> 00:14:42,554 Just berating young people constantly. 273 00:14:42,864 --> 00:14:44,904 Nothing's ever right or even good enough. 274 00:14:45,534 --> 00:14:46,794 You could have always done better. 275 00:14:47,034 --> 00:14:50,514 Look, I'm a parent and there are times as a parent, when you tell your child 276 00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:55,344 they did something wrong or the way they're doing it isn't correct, but 277 00:14:55,344 --> 00:14:57,054 you're careful about how you do it. 278 00:14:57,984 --> 00:15:03,234 These parents literally just barrage the crap of their children and. 279 00:15:03,263 --> 00:15:04,049 They feed 'em junk. 280 00:15:04,049 --> 00:15:05,249 Like you suck at everything. 281 00:15:05,270 --> 00:15:07,550 This is the mentality that they beat into these kids. 282 00:15:08,060 --> 00:15:09,290 Verbally, emotionally. 283 00:15:09,290 --> 00:15:11,870 I don't even talk about physical beating, but that definitely happens, right? 284 00:15:12,770 --> 00:15:13,730 They beat this. 285 00:15:13,730 --> 00:15:18,590 You suck at everything and everything you do is wrong mentality into people. 286 00:15:18,590 --> 00:15:21,410 And so we get adults who just assume they're a screw up all the time. 287 00:15:22,670 --> 00:15:25,700 Problematically, no one got through to these kids in a time to 288 00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:27,500 prevent this idea from taking root. 289 00:15:29,510 --> 00:15:33,950 When we then get the mindset of I'm a screw up and everything I do is 290 00:15:33,950 --> 00:15:36,230 wrong, that would be bad enough. 291 00:15:36,230 --> 00:15:40,880 But these people beat themselves up verbally, emotionally, mentally, and 292 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:44,400 sometimes even physically, because that generally came with the other. 293 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:48,836 These people just berate themselves all the time and reinforce this 294 00:15:48,836 --> 00:15:50,576 horrible thought that took root. 295 00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:52,016 We gotta get outta this mindset. 296 00:15:52,376 --> 00:15:54,176 Look, everyone makes mistakes. 297 00:15:55,031 --> 00:15:55,511 Everyone trips up. 298 00:15:55,511 --> 00:15:56,231 No one's perfect. 299 00:15:56,231 --> 00:15:58,421 That's why this is the fallible man, because this is not a house 300 00:15:58,421 --> 00:16:01,901 for the perfect people because you don't exist, and I certainly do. 301 00:16:02,051 --> 00:16:02,441 Okay? 302 00:16:02,441 --> 00:16:03,581 Imperfection is here. 303 00:16:04,721 --> 00:16:07,061 You have to learn to extend yourself a little grace. 304 00:16:07,721 --> 00:16:11,231 Try seeing yourself the way a true friend does. 305 00:16:11,921 --> 00:16:12,941 Accept your flaws. 306 00:16:13,001 --> 00:16:14,141 Accept the imperfections. 307 00:16:14,551 --> 00:16:18,581 Remember, perfectionism isn't healthy and love yourself anyway. 308 00:16:18,971 --> 00:16:21,701 Understand you have talents and skills, and you have other areas 309 00:16:21,701 --> 00:16:23,591 in your life that aren't your best. 310 00:16:24,446 --> 00:16:25,856 But we're all that way. 311 00:16:26,906 --> 00:16:30,296 If your best and truest friend wouldn't berate you for the mistake, 312 00:16:30,416 --> 00:16:31,916 you probably shouldn't either. 313 00:16:32,396 --> 00:16:37,976 This one absolutely, absolutely needs to die before 2023. 314 00:16:37,976 --> 00:16:42,326 You've gotta step out of this mindset because it is crushing your life. 315 00:16:43,481 --> 00:16:45,821 Now guys, if you're getting something out of this, be sure 316 00:16:45,821 --> 00:16:47,051 and click that like button. 317 00:16:47,051 --> 00:16:50,951 If you're on YouTube and leave us a comment, or if you're 318 00:16:50,951 --> 00:16:53,741 listening to this on podcast, guys, leave us a rating and review. 319 00:16:53,771 --> 00:16:56,201 That helps us to keep making shows like this. 320 00:16:56,201 --> 00:16:58,181 I can't tell you how incredibly that is. 321 00:16:58,871 --> 00:17:01,571 How incredibly important that is as a podcaster. 322 00:17:02,441 --> 00:17:06,581 Those rating and reviews help us get in front of more people and 323 00:17:06,791 --> 00:17:08,351 help people give us a chance. 324 00:17:09,116 --> 00:17:10,436 It means a lot to us. 325 00:17:10,526 --> 00:17:15,776 And you know what I know for my non Apple people out there, all of my Android 326 00:17:15,776 --> 00:17:20,456 brothers and sisters, yo, I know how hard it is to leave ratings and reviews. 327 00:17:20,461 --> 00:17:26,096 So I actually bought the domain, the foul man podcast.com, and you 328 00:17:26,101 --> 00:17:29,606 can go to that site and you can leave review directly on the site. 329 00:17:29,906 --> 00:17:33,296 And it also has a couple other things like Good Pods and Stitcher where you can 330 00:17:33,296 --> 00:17:34,916 leave reviews if you're an Android person. 331 00:17:36,296 --> 00:17:38,306 Just because I've had people tell me they tried to leave 332 00:17:38,306 --> 00:17:40,046 me a review and they couldn't. 333 00:17:40,051 --> 00:17:42,536 But guys, that helps us out so much to keep doing shows like 334 00:17:42,536 --> 00:17:44,216 this and I am so appreciative. 335 00:17:44,216 --> 00:17:46,544 In fact, I'm gonna share with you at the end of this because I like to 336 00:17:46,549 --> 00:17:51,374 share the reviews that my listeners are generous enough to share with us 337 00:17:51,379 --> 00:17:54,734 are, bless us with, and so we'll get into that at the end of the show. 338 00:17:55,184 --> 00:17:57,764 Number seven, I come last. 339 00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:03,434 This mindset is about sacrificing for others. 340 00:18:04,499 --> 00:18:11,819 As men, we tend to think of selflessness as a noble and like heroic thing, 341 00:18:12,599 --> 00:18:16,709 and in certain situations it is for sure we're taught this, sacrificing 342 00:18:16,714 --> 00:18:21,239 ourselves as manly and masculine and what we should do as men. 343 00:18:21,959 --> 00:18:22,409 And guess what? 344 00:18:22,409 --> 00:18:27,659 There, there's room for that In some cases, however, let me put a big however 345 00:18:27,929 --> 00:18:32,939 out there for you guys, this concept spread to every facet of life over the. 346 00:18:33,929 --> 00:18:38,519 It's just the standard go to for men to embrace it never 347 00:18:38,519 --> 00:18:39,509 should have gone that far. 348 00:18:40,079 --> 00:18:43,859 The reason they say to put your mask on first in an airplane emergency is 349 00:18:43,859 --> 00:18:48,749 because if you pass out, you're not able to help anybody and now your liability, 350 00:18:48,754 --> 00:18:51,629 cuz someone else is gonna have to try and risk themselves to help you. 351 00:18:52,229 --> 00:18:56,339 Your noble gesture, gestures actually more likely to cost other people their 352 00:18:56,339 --> 00:19:02,129 safety if you put someone else's mask on before your own in that situation. 353 00:19:02,654 --> 00:19:07,544 This is actually more often the case in a lot of life than the other. 354 00:19:08,174 --> 00:19:11,804 In extreme situations, there is a nobility to sacrificing for others, right? 355 00:19:12,014 --> 00:19:16,223 These are the people we honor the soldiers who sacrifice themselves to 356 00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:18,272 protect the rest of their unit, right? 357 00:19:18,301 --> 00:19:19,291 That is nobility. 358 00:19:19,291 --> 00:19:23,041 I would never take that away from those amazing individuals, right? 359 00:19:23,041 --> 00:19:27,601 Police officers who and firemen who risk their lives to save and protect. 360 00:19:28,606 --> 00:19:31,246 That is, there's an inherent nobility to that. 361 00:19:31,966 --> 00:19:35,506 However, in most cases in life, that's not the case. 362 00:19:35,506 --> 00:19:42,016 In most cases of life, you're actually by sacrificing your own wellbeing, doing 363 00:19:42,021 --> 00:19:46,486 more damage and putting other people you care about at risk men, by not taking 364 00:19:46,491 --> 00:19:50,176 care of yourself, you're in fact putting those you care about at a greater risk. 365 00:19:51,546 --> 00:19:54,646 Sacrificing yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physic. 366 00:19:57,181 --> 00:19:58,681 It is unsustainable. 367 00:19:58,801 --> 00:20:02,221 In fact, if you sacrifice your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical 368 00:20:02,226 --> 00:20:06,691 health, you'll be unable to provide support and guidance and direction 369 00:20:06,691 --> 00:20:08,611 and safety for people you love. 370 00:20:09,601 --> 00:20:14,011 You can't save anyone if you're not strong in the important core aspects of your 371 00:20:14,011 --> 00:20:17,611 life, which is your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical wellbeing. 372 00:20:18,481 --> 00:20:20,221 You need those things to be in tune. 373 00:20:20,221 --> 00:20:21,601 You need those things to be strong. 374 00:20:21,961 --> 00:20:23,251 You need those to be nurture. 375 00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:26,986 For you to nurture anybody else, for you to provide or care 376 00:20:26,986 --> 00:20:29,198 for, or support anybody else. 377 00:20:29,738 --> 00:20:33,608 You have to take care of yourself to be strong enough to be 378 00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:34,868 able to support anybody else. 379 00:20:35,678 --> 00:20:37,028 So guys, this one needs to die. 380 00:20:37,598 --> 00:20:39,038 2020 threes around the corner. 381 00:20:40,208 --> 00:20:45,128 Put self care up, move that up to priority list because you're not saving 382 00:20:45,128 --> 00:20:47,678 anybody by not taking care of yourself. 383 00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:51,398 Number eight, guys, I don't deserve it. 384 00:20:52,268 --> 00:20:54,878 Oh, this mentality gets this. 385 00:20:54,878 --> 00:21:00,578 This mindset gets under my skin to no end guys thinking that you're not good enough. 386 00:21:02,078 --> 00:21:03,818 This is a huge bur of my saddle. 387 00:21:04,118 --> 00:21:06,158 You were burn born for a purpose. 388 00:21:06,968 --> 00:21:08,498 The day you came into this world. 389 00:21:08,503 --> 00:21:11,048 You brought with you a purpose and a mission. 390 00:21:11,708 --> 00:21:13,628 The world needs what you are here for. 391 00:21:13,633 --> 00:21:16,688 They need your purpose, your character, and your new unique blend 392 00:21:16,688 --> 00:21:19,028 of talents, gifts, and perspective. 393 00:21:19,718 --> 00:21:22,148 Guys, I have to go back to my quote cause it's one of my favorite quotes. 394 00:21:22,178 --> 00:21:23,228 I'm not kidding. 395 00:21:23,558 --> 00:21:27,368 900 years of time and space and I've never met anyone who wasn't important. 396 00:21:28,058 --> 00:21:28,688 Yes, I am. 397 00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,698 A Doctor Hoof had fiction or not. 398 00:21:30,698 --> 00:21:33,878 Guys, I told you, this is one of the most accurate statements in the history of man. 399 00:21:34,478 --> 00:21:36,578 The Butterfly effect is actually real. 400 00:21:36,578 --> 00:21:39,998 The choices and decisions you make in life have a much further 401 00:21:39,998 --> 00:21:43,178 reaching impact than you can actually conceptualize because our brains just 402 00:21:43,178 --> 00:21:45,098 can't see that bigger, bigger picture. 403 00:21:46,298 --> 00:21:47,318 You are good. 404 00:21:48,218 --> 00:21:53,228 Just like me, you may have some areas you can grow and improve, but the 405 00:21:53,233 --> 00:21:55,328 world needs who you were born to be. 406 00:21:56,698 --> 00:21:59,648 Everyone is worth love, are worthy of love. 407 00:22:00,248 --> 00:22:04,598 Everyone is worthy of friendship, of deserving, of attention and affection. 408 00:22:05,618 --> 00:22:08,048 Everyone, I'm trying not to screen my mic guys. 409 00:22:08,048 --> 00:22:12,638 You can't see necessarily how, like, on my face, how bothered I am. 410 00:22:12,638 --> 00:22:16,988 This one gets me so, so, so worked up You. 411 00:22:18,443 --> 00:22:23,213 Are worthy of love, honor, friendship, attention and affection. 412 00:22:24,243 --> 00:22:25,253 Everyone is. 413 00:22:25,853 --> 00:22:28,523 So, start showing yourself some self respect and loving yourself. 414 00:22:29,093 --> 00:22:33,533 You're worthy of so much more than that, but you have to start with you. 415 00:22:33,563 --> 00:22:36,713 You have to start with you respecting yourself and you loving yourself. 416 00:22:37,103 --> 00:22:41,003 Let this horrible mindset die before we get to 2020. 417 00:22:42,638 --> 00:22:44,498 So you can start strong in the new year. 418 00:22:44,708 --> 00:22:47,588 Guys, if no one else has told you, I believe in you, 419 00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:49,748 I know you're worthy of that. 420 00:22:50,708 --> 00:22:53,468 If no one else says it today, I am in your corner. 421 00:22:53,948 --> 00:22:56,138 I believe you are that worthy. 422 00:22:56,198 --> 00:22:57,878 I believe you are that amazing. 423 00:22:59,108 --> 00:23:03,518 Now guys, if you're stuck in that area or in these mindsets, let 424 00:23:03,518 --> 00:23:07,238 me invite you to register for the Phoenix Conference, Man, on a mission. 425 00:23:07,898 --> 00:23:08,798 It's a live event. 426 00:23:08,798 --> 00:23:11,018 We do both in person and virtual. 427 00:23:12,173 --> 00:23:15,923 I believe what I am saying so much that this is the focus of this 428 00:23:15,923 --> 00:23:19,013 year's event, Man, on a mission. 429 00:23:19,283 --> 00:23:24,893 You have a purpose and the world needs you to seek that purpose for you to live. 430 00:23:24,893 --> 00:23:26,033 For your Talos. 431 00:23:26,633 --> 00:23:29,003 Your life will be more fulfilling, you'll be happier. 432 00:23:29,243 --> 00:23:33,487 Yours and mine aren't necessarily the same, but hopefully in this event we're 433 00:23:33,487 --> 00:23:35,077 trying to help you have the tools you. 434 00:23:36,247 --> 00:23:38,917 And the direction you need to find what your tails is and 435 00:23:38,917 --> 00:23:40,267 what your purpose is all about. 436 00:23:40,957 --> 00:23:47,227 So guys, that's you can go to www.thefallman.com/the Phoenix and 437 00:23:47,227 --> 00:23:51,367 register for that event early where pricing's going on right now, and I highly 438 00:23:51,367 --> 00:23:53,077 invite you to come be a part of that. 439 00:23:53,377 --> 00:23:56,737 Our virtual game's pretty good, even if you can't come to Central Washington. 440 00:23:57,157 --> 00:23:58,477 So be sure and check that out. 441 00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:03,457 Now guys, I wanna shout out our listeners because like I said, your reviews, 442 00:24:03,697 --> 00:24:05,167 taking the time to actually do that for. 443 00:24:06,457 --> 00:24:08,977 Means so much to us and helps us to do these shows. 444 00:24:09,637 --> 00:24:15,367 So one of our listeners, JT Allen, posted this five star review, The Help. 445 00:24:15,367 --> 00:24:20,467 We need a very well structured show that I always look forward to, well thought 446 00:24:20,467 --> 00:24:26,857 out, well vetted, , well vetted guest and super important messages, and a world 447 00:24:26,862 --> 00:24:28,327 that doesn't have a lot of support from. 448 00:24:29,407 --> 00:24:31,687 Try who For men who are trying to be better. 449 00:24:31,957 --> 00:24:33,367 This is the podcast we need. 450 00:24:33,607 --> 00:24:34,057 Jt. 451 00:24:34,057 --> 00:24:35,547 Thank you so much, brother. 452 00:24:35,617 --> 00:24:39,547 I'm grateful that you took the time to review our podcast. 453 00:24:39,558 --> 00:24:41,068 It really does mean a lot to us. 454 00:24:41,578 --> 00:24:45,178 I get emails every time I get a review and it just picks my spirits up. 455 00:24:45,183 --> 00:24:46,438 It makes my day better. 456 00:24:46,978 --> 00:24:51,268 You affect me in a positive way, and it really means a 457 00:24:51,268 --> 00:24:52,618 lot to me when you share that. 458 00:24:53,578 --> 00:24:57,658 Really enjoy the podcast and it means something to you as well, because that 459 00:24:57,658 --> 00:24:59,638 is my goal, is to serve you in that way. 460 00:25:00,178 --> 00:25:05,938 If you wanna support us, you can leave a review or a rating on Apple Podcast. 461 00:25:06,358 --> 00:25:09,069 But guys, if you're not sure where to do it like I said, for my Android 462 00:25:09,074 --> 00:25:14,379 family out there, you can go to www.thefalliblemanpodcast.com. 463 00:25:14,949 --> 00:25:17,079 We have a separate website just for the podcast, and you 464 00:25:17,079 --> 00:25:18,189 can actually rate and review. 465 00:25:18,189 --> 00:25:19,159 Is there as. 466 00:25:19,839 --> 00:25:21,099 Guys, I am so grateful. 467 00:25:21,099 --> 00:25:23,949 Thank you for spending the time to listen to this crazy man rant. 468 00:25:24,819 --> 00:25:26,259 I believe in you. 469 00:25:27,069 --> 00:25:30,369 You need to kick these mindsets because I wanna see you live your best life. 470 00:25:31,089 --> 00:25:34,509 I believe in you that much that we need you to achieve. 471 00:25:34,509 --> 00:25:35,139 Your tails, guys. 472 00:25:36,624 --> 00:25:38,214 Thanks for taking the time and hang out with us. 473 00:25:38,514 --> 00:25:41,934 Be better tomorrow because of what you do today and we'll see you on the next one. 474 00:25:42,624 --> 00:25:45,114 This has been the Fable Man Podcast. 475 00:25:45,714 --> 00:25:49,104 Your home for everything, man, husband, and father. 476 00:25:49,884 --> 00:25:52,164 Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. 477 00:25:53,034 --> 00:25:59,394 Head over to www.thefableman.com for more content and get 478 00:25:59,394 --> 00:26:00,894 your own fallible man gear.