The Power of Apprenticeship in Modern Parenting

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What if your future was
pretty much set in stone?

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You had no choice, like zero.

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You knew what you would do for the
rest of your life by the time you

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were six or eight at the latest.

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You may even already have an
idea of who you'll marry, right?

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2024 is a far cry from 1924, but
as recent as a hundred years ago,

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this was actually a normal reality.

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Now we've changed things a lot in
the last hundred years and a lot

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of areas for the better, for sure.

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However, 2024 Have we lost
something in the wash?

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I guess my idea is for you fathers
that you may want to consider today.

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So let's get into it.

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Here's the million dollar question.

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How do men like us reach our full
potential growing to the men we

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dream of being while taking care
of our responsibilities, working,

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being good husbands, fathers,
and still take care of ourselves?

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Well, that's the big question
in this podcast, we'll help you

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answer those questions and more.

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My name is Brent and welcome
to the fallible man podcast.

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Apprenticeship was the
standard for education for

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centuries all across the world.

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Boys would begin apprenticing next
to their fathers as soon as they

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were physically capable and past
that tender need to be nurtured and

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taken care of by their mother age.

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We're talking boys as young as 6 years
old and certainly by the age of 8.

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that will one day take over their father's
business and the cycle would continue.

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That's why we had artisan level
craftsmen that you hardly see anymore,

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because it was a generational business.

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It was also very common for daughters
to learn all about taking care of

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everything from sewing, cooking,
cleaning, uh, making things like quilts.

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Making life skills that were taught
as well at their mother's footstep.

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Now it wasn't until 1918, the elementary
school was actually required by all

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the States in the United States.

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Further education didn't become mandatory
like past elementary age until actually

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later in history than that, even
students still went home back in 1918

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after elementary school for the day
and apprenticed at their parents roles.

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After school and till dark,
a lot of times are later.

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And a lot of times the boys
were actually apprenticing.

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And so are the girls at their
parents hip before school as well.

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Kind of crazy, right?

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By the way, my name is Brent and
welcome to fallible man podcast.

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You're home for all things, man, a
big shout out to fallible nation.

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Those are long time listeners and a warm
welcome to our first time listeners.

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Thanks for checking us out.

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Hope you enjoy the show.

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I know there's a lot competing
for your attention, so I really

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am from the bottom of my heart.

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Thank you for checking out the show.

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Be sure and connect with me at the
fallible man on any social media, where

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I'm especially active on Instagram.

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Let me know what you thought of the
show and, uh, share us with a friend.

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If you really enjoy it, that
really means a lot to me.

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So what can we have possibly lost in
the wash of all this change that we've

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experienced in the last a hundred years?

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Well, we all know there's a lot
that's happened in a hundred

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years, but specifically to
this, what could we have lost?

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We obviously have way more opportunities
to live the life that we want to.

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Now we can decide our own fate or destiny
for destiny for better or for worse.

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We're no longer trapped by our
parents role in life, right?

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You aren't sentenced to the
life that you had before.

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And as a parent, I understand that
because as a parent, we want our kids to

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have a better life than we did, right?

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We want them to go farther,
do more, achieve more.

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Sometimes that's really not necessary
because you live a pretty decent life.

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But as parents, we aspirationally want
our kids to do better than we did in life.

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From our perspective, there are downsides.

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We have less generational
businesses anymore.

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Like I said, I made the comment
about artists and craftsmen.

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Artists and craftsmen are
a disappearing legacy.

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Because we don't have those generational
businesses or that knowledge has

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been passed on from generation to
generation, to generation, to generation.

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You are capable to make it on your
own now, but you can also fail easier,

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which isn't always a bad thing.

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Don't get me wrong guys.

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I'm not against failure because
failure is a learning opportunity,

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but now it's all on you.

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You're not necessarily going to get
handed over the family business.

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You may not even have a family business,
our family trade that you've been in.

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Groomed in grooms, the wrong word
is has such a negative connotation.

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It should that you have been mentored in.

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That's the right word for
the breadth of your life.

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You got to understand these young
people grew up doing this as long from

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the time they could start doing it.

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And so their skill level, I don't
like antiques, but I have a hugely

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deep respect for artisan handcrafted.

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Like woodwork and ironworks
and things like that.

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I love looking at them.

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I don't want them in my house.

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I don't want a bunch of antiques
around the place for the sake of

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having antiques, but give me an
artist and handcrafted piece of wood.

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I used to live in Southern Missouri
where we have a lot of Amish communities

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and there was this incredible store.

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On the edge of one of them
that was handcrafted furniture.

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And then the Amish community there,
this is still how things are done.

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It was generationally passed
down from father to son, father

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to son for generations and the
quality of the furniture and the

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beauty of the furniture there.

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It's just unparalleled.

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So if you're ever in that part of
the year world, go check that out.

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But you know, I'm not against
all the modern changes.

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I'm not really against that at all.

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But as a father, I look at what
did we lose in this change?

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Well, we know there's a lot of benefits
of apprenticeship as a method of training.

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You still see that in a lot of the
trades and it's still a very effectual

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way for young people to take up a
skill that will take care of their

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families and contribute to the world
and take care of them financially.

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It's a very effective way to
learn how to do something because

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college isn't for everybody.

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And that's fine.

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However, let me suggest as a father, your
job is to apprentice your child, period.

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Son or daughter is irrelevant.

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Your job is to apprentice
your child into adulthood.

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So let me suggest a few
benefits of this model.

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And then we can look at
how that goes to your life.

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How's that?

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So here's some benefits of this
concept of apprenticing your kid.

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Number one is to teach your kid a skill.

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This is nothing that is new, right?

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Apprenticeships are really
old, but this is not something

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that has gone by the wayside.

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You can start teaching your
children professional skills.

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Besides the life skills that you should
hopefully be already teaching them.

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Okay.

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My father in law taught his children
how to budget, how to balance the

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checkbook, how to reconcile an account
and how to track it all impeccably.

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My wife is so much better with
finances than I am because their father

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taught her this life skill, right?

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It's also a skill that my wife
then turned into her own business.

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25 years later as a bookkeeper,
professional skill, you have valuable

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for professional skills that you
can pass on to your children.

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No matter what you do for a living.

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It doesn't matter if you're a tradesman
or if you're in another industry, I

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spend time teaching my children, graphic
design skills, help them start their

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own business and that making merchandise
for kids, I will teach them more things

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like video editing, audio editing,
web design, as they move forward.

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And as they understand one concept
at a time, so that by the time that

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they're looking at doing real work.

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They're going to have a skill set.

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That's actually very profitable
for them already outside of what

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the schools are teaching them.

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You can equip your children
with specific skills to let them

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have a better starting point.

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Now, lifestyle skills should be
apprenticed throughout their whole

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life, cooking, sewing, time management,
communication skills, financial IQ.

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And so many more, please don't,
don't drop the ball on that.

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We're seeing what that
looks like these days.

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So please, please, please.

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If you have life skills as an
adult, be teaching them to your

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children through their whole life.

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Number two is quality time.

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Apprenticing your kid
creates quality time.

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Now I've been a trainer in
almost every job I've ever had.

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I have a talent at teaching people skills.

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Apparently, this is just
something I've found true.

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That's not a brag.

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That's just where I've been my whole life.

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One thing I can tell you from decades,
and I do mean decades of experience.

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You cannot teach people, really teach
people things without quality interaction.

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Sure.

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I mean, you can fuss and
scream and be a jackass.

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And that's how people who are
bad at teaching things do.

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But if you really want to
teach people something.

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It requires patience, communication,
gentleness, listening, and time

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together, which is quality time.

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Number three, kids feel
invested in and valued.

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Because apprenticing requires
quality time and training, your

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kids feel invested in and valued.

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You get to celebrate the accomplishments
they make as the kids level up.

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And you do it naturally because you're
trying to train them to be successful

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and teach them how to do things.

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And so it's really easy to celebrate
those moments as something clicks,

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as they do something really
well, as they master a skill.

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This positive reinforcement is affirming
and validating for that young person.

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And this is a healthy
part of raising kids.

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And it's a by product
of good apprenticing.

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Number four, kids learn to communicate.

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You can be involved in all of the
aforementioned pro or let me rephrase

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that you cannot be sorry, involved
in all of the aforementioned process

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without the young person learning to
communicate effectively with people.

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The child will learn to
communicate at an adult level.

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Because they're communicating with
an adult through this whole process.

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And that includes learning to
ask quality questions, which in

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itself is a high value skill.

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By trial and error along the way through
the process, the child will learn to

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ask questions to solicit the necessary
information for them to perceive what

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they're doing, but also learn to talk
at an adult level much faster than.

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If they're only interacting with
kids, number five, hands on learning.

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And my last job, I have my training of
new employees down to a precise, highly

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effective process at a very clear, well
written process doc that they had to read.

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Then they followed along.

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In the process doc step by step as
I did the process in front of them.

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Then they went step by step through the
process doc with their hands on doing

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the task as I talked them through and set
with them one step at a time, very slowly.

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Then they did it once following
the process doc step by step when

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the only answering questions.

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As they went through it.

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Now I repeated that last step as many
times as it took, but the speed at

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which they picked up the new skill was
incredible and it all rested on me getting

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their hands on as fast as possible.

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The faster I could put their
hands on it and let them do it,

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the faster they learn the skill.

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Hands on learning is still the
fastest and most effective way to

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build a skill and confidence in a
skill and our confidence as a person.

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As our friend, January Donovan likes
to say, competence builds confidence.

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Well, competence will always be
achieved much more quickly and

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efficiently with our hands on approach.

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You teach a kid to cook,
get them in the kitchen.

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You want to teach the kid computer
skills, get them on the computer.

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You want to teach them to have mechanical
skills, get a wrench in their hand

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and get them in the car with you
or whatever else you're working on.

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The faster you can put their hands
on it, the faster they'll learn.

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And so hands on learning
is the best way to go.

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Number six is they learn professionalism.

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Now, apprenticing is something
you're doing as a father regardless

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of whether you want to or not.

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That's a fact.

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The child will watch what you
do, not what you will say.

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So, apprenticing your child in business
work skills, you have the opportunity

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to help them become professional in
a world sorely lacking professionals.

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How you conduct yourself every
day from the time you become a

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father shapes the child's life.

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So why not teach them to be great in a
professional environment as well, by the

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way you interact with them and letting
them see you interact with your book

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job or your business or a skillset.

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Now, those are the benefits
of apprenticing a kid.

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It went on for generations and
generations and generations.

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How do you apply this?

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In life today, right?

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Cause we send kids to school.

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Well, you know what?

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Your kid's not in school all the time.

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Maybe your kid isn't going to sit at
your feet and learn your career path.

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That's fine.

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You can still apprentice
them in skills that you have.

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So teach them your profession, teach them
all these things we're talking about.

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Teach them how to cook, apprentice
them in these different skills.

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It'll improve your relationship
with your kid as a father.

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It will.

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Also improve that child's chance
moving forward in the future.

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How you apply this is
entirely up to you today.

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I'm just trying to share with you
this concept because it will make a

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big difference in your kid's life.

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Now, as we wrap up today's discussion,
let's take a moment and consider the

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importance of passing down skills
and knowledge to our children.

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Skill sets are disappearing every day.

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Apprenticeship has played a vital
role throughout history, helping

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people learn trades and life skills
from the parents or their mentors.

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So here's a challenge for you.

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Think about the skills
and knowledge you have.

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How can you teach these things to your
children in an apprenticeship manner?

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It could be a job related skill like
graphic design or bookkeeping, like my

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wife and I benefit from, or even basic
life skills, cooking, managing your

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finances, fixing things around the house.

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How many dads like to fix things
around the house or do it anyway?

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Whether you like it or not, by taking
the time to teach our children,

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we can help them become much more
capable and confident individuals

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early on confident kids, getting less
trouble, confident kids, get bullied.

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Less confident kids have
less struggles in school.

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It's not just about school grades by
preparing them for life's challenges.

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And by helping them build skills,
we will make them more confident.

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So let's bring back the tradition of
apprenticeship into our modern world.

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And let's invest in our
children's future by sharing our

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knowledge and skills with them.

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If you found today's discussion helpful,
please share it with other parents.

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That's the greatest thing you can do.

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As far as your reaction to the
show together, we can create a

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community of empowered parents,
raising strong, confident kids.

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Thanks for tuning in the
show until next time.

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Keep being an awesome dad, be better
tomorrow because what you today,

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and I'll see you on the next one.

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This has been the fellow man podcast.

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You're home to everything,
man, husband, and father.

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Be sure to subscribe.

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00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:02,110
So you don't miss a show head over to www.

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thefallibleman.

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00:16:03,970 --> 00:16:11,279
com for more content and get
your own fallible man gear.