The Power of Choice: Becoming the Man YOU Want to Be

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You ever heard of Jekyll and Hyde?

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Or maybe Spider Man and Venom?

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They're not just characters and stories.

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They represent something bigger
about the world we live in.

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Think about it.

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Light and dark, fantasy, good and bad.

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It's all connected, even down
to the cells in our body.

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You're becoming more or less healthy with
every breath and movement that you take.

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There's no true stasis.

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Things in life seem to have a counterpart.

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Thor and Loki, right?

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It's not just a coincidence,
it's how the world works.

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Even one of the Indian tribes reports this
concept with the myth of the two wolves.

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Every choice we make big or small adds up.

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You're ready to dive into the
fascinating world of choices with me.

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Let's get into it.

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Here's the million dollar question.

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How do men like us reach our full
potential growing to the men we

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dream of being while taking care
of our responsibilities, working,

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being good husbands, fathers,
and still take care of ourselves?

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Well, that's the big question.

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In this podcast, we'll help you
answer those questions and more.

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My name is Brent and welcome
to the Fallible Man Podcast.

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So my children are at the age where
they've discovered the ancient yet

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pop culture emblem of the yin yang.

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They actually bought a
necklace set for themselves.

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It's cute, but it's funny at
the same time as their dad.

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It made me remember all the way back
to junior high when I came across this

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concept of duality for the first time.

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Honestly, a yin yang was just
really easy to draw for someone

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who has no artistic talents.

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And it was cool, air quotes, right?

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Everybody drew the yin
yang, everybody had it.

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It was years before I actually
played or actually paid any attention

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to the concept itself of duality.

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And it really hasn't processed
for my children yet, but

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it will over time, right?

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That comes with age.

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By the way.

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Hey, my name is Brent and welcome
to the Fallible Man podcast,

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your home for all things man.

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Big shout out to Fallible Nation.

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That's our regular listeners
and a warm welcome to our

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first time listeners as well.

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Thanks for checking us out.

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We know there's a lot
competing for your time.

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And so we do really appreciate you
taking time to check out the episode.

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I hope you enjoy it.

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Be sure to reach out to me.

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I'm at the fallible man on
pretty much every social media.

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Except for Facebook where I screwed that
up and I'm at fallible man, but Instagram

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is my main place to check me out.

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Shoot me a DM or whatever you do over
there because I'm bad at that stuff.

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And let me know what
you thought of the show.

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And if you really enjoyed it, share
with a friend or leave us review an

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Apple podcast that helps us out so much.

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Now, guys, I don't know if the
proper term is myth, legend, tale.

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We've touched on it before in the past
on the show, but Whatever it is, the

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Tale of the Two Wolves is as simple
as this, if you haven't heard it.

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Just for like, the one person listening
to this who hasn't heard this before.

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Each person has two wolves inside of them.

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One is light and good,
and the other is darkness.

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And they're always at war with each other.

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The one that wins is the one
that you feed by your choices.

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That's Brent's quick breakdown.

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There's much more artistic and fun
tellings of it, but I really started

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contemplating this the other day
for some reason, like you just,

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something crept in my head and I
decided to analyze this concept.

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Based on real world application.

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And while we've touched on it before,
I really want to kind of deep dive into

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what that translates to in our real lives.

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We know that this went to an
extreme with Jekyll and Hyde, right?

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Jekyll was obviously a good man.

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Mr.

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Hyde was really not.

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If you read the story, if you don't
know the story, yeah, it's pretty cool.

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Venom, he isn't evil like Mr.

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Hyde per se.

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But he is a creature possessed
of raw impulse and emotion.

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Whereas Spider Man is far more
noble and humble hero who puts

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everybody else above himself.

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And it's funny because comic
books have a way of revealing

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some of the real world to us.

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But let's take it further because
we like to stop there, right?

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That's pretty, that's fun.

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But how does it actually
look in the real world?

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Because it's usually not as extreme
as the comic book telling of it.

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So let's go down the darker
path first, shall we?

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Now, if you listen to the show before,
you know, that I don't think porn

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is healthy, we've done a lot of work
with child sex trafficking groups and

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porn counselors here because we feel
like it holds men back, but we know

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factually that porn use leads to more
porn use to more extreme porn use, to

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more really extreme porn use, because.

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The same thing that used to get you
there just wasn't, doesn't anymore.

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You have to keep getting
more and more extreme.

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Eventually, statistically, it
moves into real world indulgences.

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With increased use, we see it
destroy families and social circles.

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Just like any addiction person
starts to take bigger and bigger

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risk, make poor and poorer choices
and actually tend to isolate,

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become more solitary and withdrawn.

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We can take that journey with
almost any drug we talk about.

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With alcohol, we see increased use.

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You have to increase higher and
higher volume to get the same effect

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to where you get, I mean, functional
alcoholics who drink enough every day.

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That would put most people down hard.

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Because they've built up this
tolerance to it while it's

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destroying their lives internally.

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Like it's really just eating your body up.

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It also destroys your bank account and
likelihood of you losing your job goes

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way up in relation, fellow relationship
failures goes way up and many other

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bad things with increased usage, right?

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The more you indulge in
that screen consumption.

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Cause you tell me, Hey,
Brian, I don't do drugs.

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I'm not into porn.

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I don't do alcohol.

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What else?

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Screen consumption.

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We already spend a large majority of
our day on screens in the modern world.

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There are more and more jobs where
you're spending more and more of your

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time in front of a computer screen.

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You don't actively push back on it.

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You actually spend a ton of
your day on screens because.

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You have computers at work, but you
also have phones for work and leisure

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and tablets for work and leisure.

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And then we come home and we have
movies and we have TV shows and

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streaming services and games on.

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Consoles are on computers.

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And the more time you spend
on those screens, the more you

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disconnect from the real world.

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I hit a point in my life where I realized
I was spending way too much time gaming.

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And I was trying to keep up with
like 14 different shows a week.

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Okay.

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That's easy math y'all.

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That's like 14 hours a week.

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Just keeping up with shows,
not watching anything else.

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If you do the math and the average person
spends 40 hours at work, well, you add

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another 14 hours of television time.

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Right.

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Cause usually you're coming home
from work and you only have four

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to five hours, depending on where
you work before you head to bed,

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guess how much of my time was lost.

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So, and that was my personal experience.

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You may have it under better control
than that, but you can see more and

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more screen consumption actually
leads to more and more screen

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consumption, the more you do it.

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Let's go a step farther.

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How about not being healthy?

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Eating healthy takes more
effort for most people.

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Why?

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Because convenient and
fast isn't usually healthy.

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Not always, but.

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For a lot of people, convenient
fast generally is not healthy.

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Working out is hard to most people.

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Less than 10 percent of the
global population population

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works out three times a week or
more in any way shape or form.

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Quite frankly, even if you like to
work out, not doing so is still easier.

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That's why missing a workout It's
tough because once you see the world

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didn't end and he didn't lose all
that hard game muscle overnight,

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it actually becomes easier to miss
another one and then another one.

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And then it's like, Oh
crap, I'm busy today.

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I, you know what?

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I can skip my workout.

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It's fine.

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Excuses start coming quicker and easier.

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And suddenly you're back to, Oh,
I don't have time to work out.

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And it's been months since you did fast
food and junk food are way more rewarding

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the short term immediate dopamine hits.

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I just got my kid a
cookie with M& Ms in it.

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Instant dopamine hit, right?

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Way easier, way immediately more
tasty and rewarding in the short term.

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Whereas actually eating healthy
is a long term game and can take

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a little bit to see the reward.

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So you see, as we feed those negative
things in our life, They actually become

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easier to do and they become more common.

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They become more a part of our lifestyle.

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So that was horrible, negative, right?

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Oh, what about the light in the Goodwill?

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It does.

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How does that stack?

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Actually, surprisingly,
it does eating healthy.

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For example, we already said it takes
a little while to see more of a reward.

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Well, the fact is if you choose a.

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good diet that you can follow.

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It only actually takes about two
weeks to start getting rid of that

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sugar fog that sits in your brain
that you don't even realize you have

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until you start to get rid of it.

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And the cravings for sugar actually
start rescinding after about two weeks.

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The longer you eat this way in a healthy
manner, the less you actually crave the

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junk food and the fast food and the sugar.

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Your body actually starts to naturally
reject some of that bad food.

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Uh, from just the way
it processes it, right?

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You start running to the bathroom
more often when you eat junk,

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because your body's just like,
Oh, from how it even tastes.

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If you take a break from soda long
enough, you start to realize, you

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know, it kind of tastes nasty.

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So eating healthy builds over time
and actually becomes more, more easy.

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That's good English, right?

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It becomes easier over time to
continue to eat that healthier food

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because you start to feel differently
and your body starts, stops craving

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all the dopamine hits of the instant
gratification foods that you used to eat.

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Well, what about working out?

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The longer you do it, the more
you're hooked on that feeling.

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They're really right.

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Runners talk about runner's
high after so many miles.

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I never experienced that.

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I'll backtrack that I experienced that
once in my life, uh, back when I was

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in training, I actually hit a point
where I actually experienced runner's

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high and started enjoying running.

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That was short lived, but like I've
been in a slump recently, right?

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I, I fell into that trap
of, Oh, I'm busy today.

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Oh, I can miss this one.

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And, and now I'm actually been
out of the gym for quite a while.

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And it's really hurting me.

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I'm not feeling good about it.

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I used to work out six days
a week and it felt wrong.

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Not to go, not because I was
afraid to lose the muscle I

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built, but because I loved the
way I felt working out like that.

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I loved how I felt after I worked out.

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I loved how workouts felt.

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I'm one of those sick people who
just, I loved sitting there and

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doing heavy squats and feeling like
I was going to die and hitting that

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last two or three reps with time.

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You get to where you just enjoy it.

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And so that builds.

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Okay, let's try something
else then, right?

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Screen time.

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I recently changed the screen time rules
for our house and how our days end.

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We started turning off the TV a little
bit sooner in the evening and started

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reading books as a family at night.

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This isn't the first time
we've ever done this.

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We've experimented with
this before and guess what?

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It doesn't take long to start
to change outlook on that now.

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We've only been doing it
again for about two weeks now.

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We can have two weeks.

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Everybody in the house looks
forward to reading together.

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We enjoy sitting there with the
television off and reading and

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sharing that story together.

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Why right now, I think we're on
book two of Harry Potter's family.

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We've gone through several
other, I won't say several.

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We've gone through other
series in the past.

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We went through Jocko's, uh,
children's series that the warrior

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kid, that was awesome series.

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We all enjoyed that, but we've only
been doing it for a while again,

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because we've done it before in the
past and we really enjoying it, right?

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It's easier to get away from
that screen time because we're

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enjoying what we're doing.

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And people are sleeping better.

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It's better for us all the way around.

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Well, how about personal development?

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The more you grow, the more you want
to grow in personal development.

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My own journey started with me
trying to grow in one specific

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area and knowledge area in my life.

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One specific piece of
knowledge is what I was after.

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When I actually achieve my goal of
growing my knowledge in that area,

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I got to that point and went, wow, I
could actually learn that on my own.

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Like I, I taught myself this hard
thing that I never thought I could do.

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And my next response was, if I can
teach myself that, what more can I do?

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Where, where else can I go?

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What can I learn?

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Like, I got excited
about what I could learn.

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Because I gave myself the
power of permission to learn.

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And I haven't stopped on my personal
development journey since, because

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the more you start to grow, the more
you enjoy that growth and you start

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to go, wow, is there really a limit?

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Likewise, gratitude, humility, integrity,
all these things become easier and

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more powerful with time and practice.

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It just becomes part of your life.

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The more you do it.

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The easier it is to maintain and the
easier it is to just do it automatically.

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You read the book atomic habits, you
know, that building a habit takes

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work, but you do it all the time.

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It's building the right habits
that you want in your life.

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So the question will ultimately come
down to who do you want to be now?

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Venom seems like he would be
a lot of fun to party with.

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Not going to lie.

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I don't, I'm, I'm old enough now.

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I don't party like 20, thank God,
but we all had those friends and

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they were a whole lot of fun.

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But they're not people we
generally gravitate to when we need

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support or when it's important.

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They're not the people
we want in our corner.

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So who will you choose to be?

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And are you making the
choices it takes to get there?

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Now, the white light wolf and the dark
wolf or the good wolf and the bad wolf

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or whatever that metaphor is, that story.

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That's an easy way to frame it, but every
choice you make every day is deciding who

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that person is, who you're going to be.

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So as we wrap up, let's think about this.

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We all have a good and bad within us, just
like those two wolves in the old story.

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What we choose to feed
makes a big difference.

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You've seen how bad habits like spending
too much time on screens and eating

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junk food can really mess things up.

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The bright side, choosing
healthy habits, eating right,

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exercising, makes us feel awesome.

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And it's not just about feeling good.

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It's about setting ourselves up
for success in the wrong long run.

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So let's make a pact.

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Let's feed the good wolf inside of us.

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Let's make healthy choices.

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Let's make healthy choices.

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Let's make better choices in personal
growth and how we spend our time

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and what we do every day to make the
choices, become the men we want to

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be, because you can't feed both and
become the person that you want to be.

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So make your choices.

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But that choice isn't just
a momentary, uh, big choice.

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Thing is in every choice in every
choice, you have two options.

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At least choose the one that makes
you the person you want to become.

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That makes you the person
that you look up to.

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And you'll be well on your
way to becoming the man.

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You've always wanted to be as always
be better tomorrow because what you

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do today, we'll see on the next one.

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This has been the fellow man
podcast, your home for everything,

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man, husband, and father.

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Be sure to subscribe.

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00:16:31,694 --> 00:16:32,824
So you don't miss a show.

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00:16:33,704 --> 00:16:35,374
Head over to www.

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00:16:37,155 --> 00:16:37,365
thefallibleman.

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00:16:37,365 --> 00:16:45,279
com for more content and get
your own fallible man here.