Tribe of Men

[00:00:00] What's a tribe? You probably heard men, especially if you listen to men's channels like mine. Talk about the idea of having a tribe of men around you. I have certainly made references to it in previous episodes. I've talked about men's groups as well with and without guests. And in the Manosphere, I have heard the term thrown around frequently.

Many men saying, find your tribe. However, do you really know what a tribe is? Because it's not just your buddies. That's what a lot of guys think it is, is just simply having a good close group of friends that are men. Some men will even see, say they've found their tribe because they joined a men's group of their church or something, or they have that group of friends.

They've been around since high school, right? Those three or four guys, they've the pros they've been around forever. Still not a tribe guys. Chances are you probably don't have one, but you should. And in this episode, we're going to break down [00:01:00] exactly what a tribe is, what it's like, and. Why it's worth having one.

So let's get into it.

Here's the million dollar question. How do men like us reach our full potential, growing to the men we dream of being while taking care of our responsibilities, working. Being good husbands, fathers, and still take care of ourselves. Well, that's the big question in this podcast. We'll help you answer those questions and more.

My name is Brent and welcome to the fallible man podcast.

No guys, because I like to look things up. I looked up the definition of tribe because there are several, like, you know, it's one of those that has multiple definitions for the word. If you go into a dictionary and Hey, just for good measure, I looked it up the mic. Five or six different dictionaries, you know, those, they, they're those old things, the thick heavy books, [00:02:00] most people don't have them these days, but I looked it up online as well, but I didn't look it up in the dictionary and out of the multiple definitions for tribe, I found one that was kind of close to how we define it or how it really should be defined.

And it goes something like this. A group or class of people with strong common traits, values, or interest. I would say with com common traits, values, and interests, by the way, my name is Brent and welcome to the fallible man podcast. You're home for all things, man, big shout out to fallible nation. That's our longtime listeners.

That's why I lovingly call them and a warm welcome to you. If this is your first time with us, Hey, thanks for giving us a chance. I know there's a lot of competing for your attention, so I really do appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. We're a simple production and it's just me most of the time. So thanks for giving us a chance.

If you enjoy it, be sure and connect with me at the follow man on most social media platforms. I'm specifically [00:03:00] active on Facebook or sorry, not Facebook on Instagram. Ooh, there's a gap. And that's the easiest way to connect with me. I'd love to hear what you think of the show. So go ahead and message me.

Let me know if you enjoy it. If you like it, share it with a friend. And Hey, if you really like it, leave us a review that helps more people find us. Now, why am I writing about tribes today? Okay. So

tribes have a lot of value, but you have to understand what you're looking for. And the truth is for a long time, I thought I understood it until I actually found my tribe. And once I did, I was shocked because it wasn't what I had pictured and it wasn't what I understood. Good. But there's so much value in it.

So I wanted to kind of clear this up for a lot of guys, because it's one to say thing to say, I'm going to hang out with the bros. Like I have a group of guys. I go [00:04:00] have a game night with every week and we play everything from Dungeons and Dragons. Yes, I know I'm 44 and I play Dungeons and Dragons. Cause you know what?

It's actually a really cool game. I actually feel kind of bad about mocking it in my younger years. Uh, but I'm really tight with those guys, but they're the bros, they're friends. They're not tribe. There's some good friends, but they're not tribe. So to make this easier, because actually fleshing out a really solid definition is a little complex.

I wanted to start with what it's not. So I got a list for you. Okay. It's not a group of buddies, the boys, your homies. These men should be part of your tribe, but usually they're not okay. And I'm talking like the boys that you've been hanging out with forever. They're probably not your tribe. It's not a church men's group.

This is a really useful group and they can do a lot for you and be a huge blessing, but it's not necessarily your tribe, good group of [00:05:00] guys, a lot of support, good place to connect and have really strong male friendships. Not necessarily your tribe. It's not a group of coworkers, right? I said, common interest common.

Yeah. It's not a group of coworkers. It's not a Facebook group around a show like this one, our other men's shows. We talked about the Manosphere and like some of the shows have, I had a Facebook group for a while. I was like, no, that's kind of stupid because I'm not a big social media person, but I know men's shows.

I won't name them that have Facebook groups. Nothing wrong with that. Sure. There's a bunch of good stuff that goes on there. I'm actually part of one. I don't check it because really nothing useful actually goes on there that I've seen. So I just don't go to it. It's not that it's not a sounding board.

It's not a group of guys to just sit and listen to you, bitch. Go totally, totally, totally. That's what I used. That's what I actually found on those Facebook groups. [00:06:00] Totally useless. You don't need them. And it's certainly not an echo chamber. Echo chambers are a really fancy term for a group with common beliefs that sit and just resound the same idea over and over again.

Like, Oh yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah. We all agree. That's a good idea. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you say things like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause we all agree. Nothing actually gets solved there. Okay. So I went ahead and start with what is not, because there's a lot of. Misunderstanding because I had a lot of misunderstanding before I found my tribe about what it was.

Now, how do I know it? Because I found my tribe and I was shocked at what I had been missing once I found something so incredibly powerful. I thought I found it several times, mistake what it was several times. When I found it, it was unlike anything I had ever experienced. So what is it? Right. I explained what is not, what is it?

Like I said, it's really hard to [00:07:00] set a solid definition, but this is the way I can best describe it to you. A tribe is a group bound by common interests, common goals, common values, and common character. So let me illustrate this by telling you a little bit of my, about my tribe. My tribe is made up of entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, and business people.

They're all business owners. Some of them have multiple businesses. Most of them do one or two of them only have one there. We're all trying to grow our businesses ethically. With integrity, all of our businesses are people service based businesses focused on helping people grow to a better variation of themselves.

Some of our entrepreneurs are the fitness industry. Some of them are in the personal development industry. All of them are focused on helping their clients and customers grow in a way that makes their lives better. They all, we all have a common devotion to helping each other level up [00:08:00] personally and professionally, because you can't level up professionally.

If you're not willing to put in the work personally. So there's growth on both the professional and personal side inside the group. And we do it with honest advice, sharing life lessons that we've learned. Business lessons we've learned, holding each other accountable. My tribe tells me when I'm hurting myself professionally or personally, right?

If I'm getting in my own way, they critique me and provide healthy criticism while also being encouraging and supportive, but they don't pull any punches. If I'm being dumb, they tell me. We don't expect each other to drop everything when someone needs help. Because everybody in the group is chasing their own vision.

They're chasing their own dreams or chasing their own goals. And we know everybody's busy, but we do prioritize getting back to each other because we've committed to lifting each other up as well as our own selves. So I know that's like really convoluted, but I'm trying to [00:09:00] describe this to you because it's so hard to describe.

So do you have a group that makes you better every time you're together? A group working towards achieving the goals that you want to, not just talking about achieving goals, But actually putting in the work and doing it a group that empowers and encourages you to chase your goals while holding you accountable to your goals.

The demands, the best version of you demands you level up because you leveling up levels up the whole group. Do you actually hunger to be with them so much? And I couldn't find a better word than that. Sorry. If it's weird, do you actually need to be with them and want to be around them so extremely much?

To the point where you would pay to be among these bin, because the privilege of being among them is so extreme that it's past a monetary value for you, even because the value you get back is so [00:10:00] amazing. Do you feel a bulletproof and unstoppable when you part ways? I only meet with these people. Usually at most once a month, I clear my schedule.

Nothing else happens. I would pay to be a part of the group because I come away with so much value personally, professionally, for my business, for my family, for myself. And they're, they're checking in on me all the time. We have an ongoing chat. I'm like, Hey, how are you proceeding on this? Hey, are you making headway on this?

And I can be like, Hey, I got a question about this. And other people are like, Hey, I got a question about this guys. I'm, I'm a paid podcast consultant. I get paid by podcasters, other podcasters. To help them with their shows. I have multiple podcasters in my group. I've never charged them anything. Likewise, they've never charged me anything to do one on ones and really kind of flesh something out when I was [00:11:00] jammed up, vice versa, the value we bring together with this group.

makes everybody's lives and businesses better. This is a tribe. Okay. Some of these things sound interchangeable with a men's group, your buddies, or even echo chambers, right? You get a piece of that here, a little bit of that here, a surface level piece of that here, but they're not necessarily truly a tribe.

We're not talking about a pride of lions. It's the easy way to illustrate it. Right? We're not talking about a pride of lions where you've got the different groups. Think of this as more of the heads of 10 different lion prides getting together collaboratively for two or three hours a month, deciding how to solve each other's problems and how to help each other out, sharing what [00:12:00] works in theirs, taking advice.

Solving their weaknesses so they can go back to their own lands and rule just unequivocally. That's what we're talking about when we talk about tribe. Tribe is a rare find. Like, that's why I said most people really don't have it. I thought I had it a lot of times. Most people really don't have it. But guys, I'm telling you, it is absolutely worth the effort, gentlemen.

Once you experience it, you'll never want to be without it again. It is a power multiplier to achieving your life goals. These people like are finding true. The tribe is truly one of the two great Chico's alive because there are two great Chico's alive and tribe is one of them. Now, I hope that clears it up for you.

The difference between a men's group and, uh, [00:13:00] You know, my, my group of gamers I hang out with at, right. I hope that clears it up for you. You may have some buddies that cross the lines into different groups, but. I only knew one of the people in my tribe or two before I started spending time with them. I met the rest of them inside the tribe because one person brought me into it because they saw you can add value and you're going to gain incredible value.

Tribe is rare, but I hope you understand it's not just your buddies, not just a group of guys. Tribe is a power secret for your life. Now that you know what tribe really is and why you want it. I wish I could tell you exactly how to find it, but see, that's the complicated part because my goals and your goals are not necessarily aligned.

Right. I'm not just in [00:14:00] tribe with a group of entrepreneurs. I'm in tribe with a group of entrepreneurs whose businesses all revolve around helping people grow in areas of their life in a powerful way, right? It gets very specific. They helped me level up. I helped them level up. So I can't tell you exactly where to find it because you and I have different gifts and we have different goals in life.

When you find your tribe, it will be a group of people who are in similar harmony. Uh, have you considered the concept of. Tandem or yoke. If you've ever seen pulling teams, one of them is incredibly powerful. I used to ride a pulling horse, uh, at my friend's ranch when I was in high school, her, her grandfather, or no, her uncle and her grandfather, both raised championship pulling horses.

And one of the horses I used to ride was a [00:15:00] retired pulling horse and that thing was massive. I mean, I was almost doing the splits. Like it was a huge horse

and that horse was incredibly powerful by itself. Yeah. Put together with its team in tandem, yoked for the same goal was, if you've never seen it, something just unfathomable, a tribe is a bunch of people who are yoked together and they have separate goals, but they're pulling for the same bigger goal.

We're all going to level up our businesses, our persons, and make our world's a better place than people around us, a better place by what we're doing. And we're committed to that together, right? That's my tribe. Your tribe is going to be unique to you. Your tribe is going to be unique to your goals and your aspirations as a person and your ambitions.

But I promise you [00:16:00] it is worth the effort to find it as fast as possible because it is a cheat code for taking your life for that next level. Guys, I hope that demystifies the concept of tribe. Told you it's not a clear definition. But I missed it for a long time. And I kept thinking I found it because I didn't really understand it until I experienced it.

And I wanted to see if I could demystify that for you and help you know, what you're looking for. Guys, if you got something out of this episode, be sure and check out this other episode. It will be in the show notes are in the description are on the screen, depending on what platform you're joining us on today.

Be better tomorrow because of what you do today and I'll see you on the next one. This has been the fallible man podcast, your home for everything man, husband and father. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss a show. Head over to www. [00:17:00] thefallibleman. com for more content and get your own fallible man gear.