Welcome to Dr. Khaotik’s Office of Sports Mediation; please sign in and we’ll be with you shortly. As the patients wait in the lobby, sweat begins to fill their palms. Philadelphia Eagles fans, your turn to see Dr. Khaotik. Exam room number 5 on the left; have a seat. Don’t mind the Dallas Cowboys galore, I’m sure it’ll make you sick. Here’s a bucket with a bag if needed. Good luck with your appointment…
Eagles’ fans waiting and trying to avoid getting annoyed looking at all the Cowboys keepsakes. As Dr. Khaotik walks in, a big smile on his face. “Hello there fellow NFC East rivals! What brings you to my office? You lost to San Francisco as well? Welcome to the club, that’s the first step to starting this session.”
Ahhh, it was all talk until the game started; oh, how the undoing of Philadelphia became “just another regular season game.” Wait a second…all season, NFL fans have heard about Philly’s “dominance,” but that was nowhere to be found on Sunday afternoon. Eagles’ fans were screaming “Super Bowl” after each close win; but…you got a dose of your own medicine prescribed by San Francisco.
Philadelphia Eagles fans gaslit this game just like every other one. Beating teams by double digits on a good day, while struggling to put away bad quarterbacks earlier in the season. When the fans celebrated each win like a “Super Bowl,” the media was all about the Eagles. “Did you see what Jalen Hurts did? Philly’s winning games in the trenches.” Oh…when they played elite competition, it was nothing but tears from their eyes.
You want some Kleenex Eagles fans to go with your misery? To hear fans say: “just a regular season game which doesn't mean anything” became a punk move for a fan base who every week was screaming “we’re the best team in all of football.” Well, the Niners restored order by dominating from start to finish. As a Cowboys fan, I reveled in the misery upon Sunday evening. How beautiful it was to see them cry tears of sadness.
Throwing a parade and pep rally prior to the game *dark sarcasm and humor* didn’t improve Philadelphia’s chances. You got bullied by the bully on the field. The refs couldn’t save you this time around; even with Niners linebacker Dre Greenlaw getting ejected after a *minor swipe* at Eagles security guard Big Dom; who was also ejected from the game. Oh, how the undoing of a “NFC title” Eagles team became their own enemy.
NFL fans across the globe celebrated knowing Philadelphia took a blowout loss to San Francisco. All the offseason trash talking from Eagles players; a couple Niners players but the vast majority of Eagles fans gaslighting their team like it’s a “Super Bowl.” As they cried all night long, there was a somber locker room. A team who got throttled just like Dallas and Jacksonville had no room to talk about being a “regular season game.” It was a pleasant sight. We didn't have to hear head coach Nick Sirianni scream: “How ‘bout them Eagles!” Yes, we have plenty of Kleenex for all of you to share.
So… Philadelphia Eagles fans, is there anything else you need to vent about? Oh, there’s a big game in Arlington, Texas on Sunday Night Football. You know, “Jerry World,” home of the Dallas Cowboys. Are you sure about this being “just another regular season game?” If you need to make another appointment before the next game, we can do virtual to help you stay calm. If not, this concludes our session for today. I see you used the bucket; I’ll take that and dispose of it in the proper receptacle. Be sure to check out with my receptionist; she’ll have a couple papers for you to sign. Have a safe flight to Arlington and be respectful to Cowboys fans. If you need some Kleenex, cry Eagles cry…
Stai tuned…
