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To quote the great Aristotle: “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” For former NBA guard John Wall, he dealt with plenty of dark moments in his career which hindered continuing his NBA career. His career has been one which some will say: “What if?” Injuries, setbacks, trades, all of which comes with being an NBA athlete. But when personal tragedy hit John, the unraveling was just beginning.
During a sit-down interview on “The OG’s Podcast” with Udonis Haslem and Mike Miller, John opened about his suicide attempt. It was during a dark moment in his life upon his mother passing away in 2019. In which he said: “I put a gun to my head twice and a lot of people that are close to me, friends at the time didn’t know.” Now, you may be reading and asking yourself: “a multi-millionaire contemplating suicide?”
As erratic behavior followed, there was a video of him throwing up gang signs and things which weren’t in his character. As he stated, “trying to figure out how to find happiness.” In a sense, John was hurting and nowhere to turn. His mother’s passing took a toll on him and filled the void she left behind. It affected his family life as a father raising his children as he viewed himself as a failure. “Twice I wanted to commit suicide and I was like man, if I take myself away from this Earth I’m failing my kids. Who was there to raise them?” All these thoughts ran through his mind in trying to find a sense of purpose.
Just like all of us, a mother is our best friend and John lost all hope in humanity. Prior to her passing, he’d call her five to six times daily. Having a mother’s voice to assure him it was going to be okay, but not prepared emotionally for the darker days which followed. When he found out she’d passed, while in a hotel room in Charlotte, North Carolina. In humanistic fashion, Wall was breaking everything in sight upon receiving the news. Former teammate Bradley Beal came to his room and spoke with John afterwards. John and Bradley had been close teammates during their tenure in Washington.
During that same year of 2019, John said his Achilles tear contributed to his mental health struggles as well. Injuries setback two full seasons and eventually traded to the Houston Rockets. He sat out the 2021-22 season while being in a reduced role upon recovery from his prior injury. He was picked up off waivers by the Los Angeles Clippers, where he played 34 games in 2023.
Despite all the personal turmoil, John Wall didn’t have the proper resources to guide him. Between his mother’s death and recovering from an Achilles injury, it was more than enough to drive him to suicide. One may ask: “Where was the moral support of Washington’s organization during this time? Why didn’t they at least allow him to take time away to address this matter?” A superstar in his prime and having to figure out the next phase of his career. John Wall should’ve had all the support of his teammates and organization to step away to grief. We all must face the unknown while coping with death. But to contemplate suicide at a young age is unwarranted.
Once he started to show signs, nobody reached out to see if he needed help. When someone is crying for help, it's often overshadowed with passive aggressive behavior. You don’t want to be a burden and interference to others. It was during this time John should’ve sought treatments. As a black man and superstar athlete, the conversations surrounding mental health are gaining traction. You can be successful in your profession, but money doesn’t cure internal unhappiness.
For John Wall, sharing his struggles on mental health is rewarding in helping current and former athletes to say: “I need help.” Yes, we all need therapy in our lives. No matter how many financial assets you rake in, it doesn’t cure unhappiness. People hide their emotions to avoid being singled out and it only adds more heartaches. When the crowds stop cheering your name and you become an afterthought, reality sets in and most athletes don’t have a career post sport. It’s always best to surround yourself with a strong community of support and accountability. If John had this in his time of grief, his career would’ve bounced back and settled into a role player for a title contending team.
In closing, John Wall has been through the worst of times and lived to tell it. Fans can greatly appreciate a guy who gave his all for the Washington Wizards and the community. Thank you John Wall for sharing your story and struggles with the fans. Your vulnerability and willingness to open hits close to home. As you continue your road to redemption, always make your mental health a priority.
Stai tuned.
